Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship Advice for Kids (K-8)

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**Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship Advice for Kids (K-8)**

Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic is a weekly, 5-min. podcast for children about making and keeping friends. Each episode features an audio recording of a question about friendship from a kid (gr. K-8) plus a practical and thought-provoking answer from Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, (aka Dr. Friendtastic,) an author and clinical psychologist based in Princeton, NJ. For transcripts and discussion questions: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast. To submit a question: https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. For parent resources: https://EileenKennedyMoore.com

drfriendtastic.substack.com

Latest Episodes:

Friends don’t invite her (Adeline, Age 8) Jul 20, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 66 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What’s behind a friend wanting to control you?

Adeline wishes her friends would invite her to play during recess, but she doesn’t have to wait for an invitation.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a controlling friend? If so, why do you think your friend was trying to control you? How did you handle it?

- Has anyone ever told you that you were being bossy or controlling? If so, what happened? What are some signs that you might be pushing a friend too hard and need to stop?

- Rigid thinkers tend to believe that there is “one right way” to do things. How could that hurt a friendship? (Hint: How might a friend feel if they want to do things differently?)

- What does it mean to “agree to disagree”? Why is it sometimes good to do this in a friendship?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 60 - Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 39 - Maya, Age 8: Replaced by a friend's new friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/maya-age-8-replaced-by-a-friends

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10: Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Handling a controlling friend (Bridget, Age 14) Jul 13, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 65 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What’s behind a friend wanting to control you?

Bridget wonders how to deal with a friend who is being controlling.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a controlling friend? If so, why do you think your friend was trying to control you? How did you handle it?

- Has anyone ever told you that you were being bossy or controlling? If so, what happened? What are some signs that you might be pushing a friend too hard and need to stop?

- Rigid thinkers tend to believe that there is “one right way” to do things. How could that hurt a friendship? (Hint: How might a friend feel if they want to do things differently?)

- What does it mean to “agree to disagree”? Why is it sometimes good to do this in a friendship?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 59 - Jessie, Age 13: Get rid of toxic friends? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep59-jessie-age-13

Ep. 18 - Kai, Age 9: Building great leadership skills https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Make friends with different interests (Blake, Age 13) Jun 29, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 64 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Building real connections to make friends.

Blake wants to know how to make friends with kids who have different interests than he does.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What interest or activity do you enjoy that has helped you (or could help you) make friends?

- Why is pretending to be interested in something when you’re not a bad strategy for trying to make friends? (Hint: How might other kids react when they find out that you’re just pretending to be interested?)

- Have you ever picked up a new interest or activity because a friend likes it? What happened?

- If you want to pick up a new interest, why is it a good idea to try to learn about it a bit on your own, instead of just asking people about it?

What is the difference between being friendly versus being friends with someone

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 15 - Evie, Age 9: What is a close friend? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-15-evie

Ep. 49 - Charlotte, Age 8: Feeling different and rejected https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/charlotte-age-8-feeling-different

Ep. 35 - Ryan, Age 11: Peers put down his interestshttps://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ryan-age-11-peers-put-down-his-interests

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Friend wants all her attention (Rosie, Age 5 3/4) Jun 22, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 63 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with being excluded.

Rosie wonders why her friend doesn’t want her to play with anyone else, and what she can do about it.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit(Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think kids sometimes have trouble sharing a friend with other friends?

- Have you ever been in a situation like Rosie’s, either as the friend who didn’t want to share a friend or the friend who wanted to play with other kids? What happened? How did you handle it?

- Why is it a good idea to try to imagine why a friend might be doing what they’re doing, especially when we don’t like what they’re doing? (Hint: How are you likely to feel and act toward the friend when you can understand their perspective?)

- Would you respond differently to hearing “I like you, AND I want to play with other friends” versus “I like you, BUT I want to play with other friends”? Why or why not?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 13 - Mara, Age 9: Friend doesn't want her to have other friends

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-13-mara

Ep. 16 - Sam, Age 13: Joining a new group of friends

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10: Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

All About Forgiveness Jun 15, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 62 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: How to forgive friends who have hurt us.

When a friend says or does something that hurts us, it’s easy to get stuck in self-righteous bitterness and resentment. But for our own sake, as much as theirs, we need to find ways to forgive them and move past those unavoidable friendship rough spots.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Think of a time when you’ve forgiven someone for doing something that hurt or upset you. What happened? Why did you decide to forgive them?

Dr. Friendtastic said, “Holding onto bitterness and resentment hurts us more than anyone else.” What does that mean?

How is forgiving someone different than letting someone be mean to you? (Hint: It has to do with how you think about them and what you say to them.)

One of the forgiveness guidelines Dr. Friendtastic mentioned is: If it happened more than a month ago, definitely let it go! Do you agree with that guideline? Why or why not?

Why is it sometimes easier to forgive other people than to forgive ourselves?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 59 - Jessie, Age 13: Get rid of toxic friends? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep59-jessie-age-13

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 14 - Rowan, Age 12: Feeling guilty, wanting to make up with a friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-14-rowan

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

How to fight less with brother (Lucy, Age 6) Jun 08, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 61 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with being excluded.

Brothers and sisters can be a lot of fun, but sometimes they’re hard to live with. Lucy wants to know how to fight less with your brother.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think it’s sometimes harder for kids to get along with a sibling than a friend?

- When a kid does something that annoys us, it’s tempting to do the same thing–or something worse–right back to them. Why is this usually not a good idea? (HINT: Why do both kids lose in a “contest” of who can be meanest?)

- Dr. Friendtastic said “If you’ve asked a sibling [or other kid] to stop two times, and they haven’t listened, they’re probably not going to listen,” so your goal should shift “to taking care of yourself.” How could you do that?

- Do you think it’s easiest to be an only child, an oldest sibling, a youngest sibling, or a middle sibling? Why?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 30 - Michael, Age 10: Why do some kids push others around?

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-30-michael

Ep. 31 - Mila, Age 10: When someone tries to be annoying

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-31-mila

Ep. 40 - Vihan, Age 6: Friendly brother also acts wild

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/vihaan-age-6-friendly-brother-acts-wild

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Friends invited but not him (Henry, Age 8) Jun 01, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 60 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with being excluded.

What should Henry do when a kid invites his friends to play but not him?

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit(Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think kids sometimes exclude other kids?

- Have you ever felt excluded? What happened? How did you respond?

- Why is it not a good idea to beg or bribe another kid to include you?

- What do you think of the rule “You can’t say someone can’t play”? Are there any situations where it’s OK to exclude someone? What could you do if someone was wrecking the game, being too rough, or refusing to follow the rules? How could you handle it if lots of kids wanted to play a game that’s only for a few people?

- Being “the boss” can be fun and exciting. What could someone do to be a “good boss” or a true leader? (Hint: What could a leader do or not do to make the people who are getting directions feel good?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 4 - Thomas, Age 13: One friend feels left out

Ep. 8 - Blake, Age 11: Excluded by friends

Ep. 39 - Maya, Age 8: Replaced by a friend’s new friend

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Get rid of toxic friends (Jessie, Age 13) May 18, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 59 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dumping a friend or working things out by changing the dance.

Jessie wants to get out of some painful relationships.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever wanted to end a friendship? What happened?

- In your own words, how would you explain this comment from Dr. Friendtastic? “I don’t believe people can be poison [toxic]. What I do believe is that sometimes people get into patterns of interacting that are hurtful for one or both of them.”

- How is a friendship like an old-fashioned dance, where people hold onto each other? What are some ways you could change a friendship dance if you didn’t like what was happening?

- Why is it not a good idea to suddenly stop talking to a friend, with no explanation?

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Someone’s about to get hurt! (Kenna, Age 7) May 11, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 58 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Safety first

Keara wonders what to do to keep a friend safe.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever been in a situation where you thought a friend was in danger? What happened? How did you handle it?

- What are some reasons why kids sometimes do things that are unsafe?

- Safety is important, but sometimes kids can be too careful, meaning they don’t want to do things if there’s even a tiny possibility of danger or discomfort. What do you think would be an example of being too careful? How could being too careful be a problem?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Preventing dangerous situations is usually easier than dealing with them after they’ve happened.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

- Why might standing near a teacher or a group of friends be useful for preventing problems with someone who is acting too rough?

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

Avoiding Conflict (Zen, Age 6) May 04, 2024

Show notes

Ep. 57 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: The upside of disagreements.

Zen wants to know how to avoid conflicts, but what if conflicts are sometimes helpful?

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast? SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit. (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Describe a conflict you had with a friend. What happened? What was your friend’s point of view and what was yours? How did the conflict affect your friendship?

- Dr. Friendtastic says that conflict can be a way for friends to learn about each other. What does that mean?

- When might it be a good idea to give in and do what your friend wants, even though it isn’t exactly what you want? When is it NOT a good idea to do this?

- Why is it important to try to understand what a friend is thinking or feeling? (Hint: What could happen if we just insist on what we want?)

- What are some things you can do or not do to make conflicts with a friend less painful?

Get full access to Dr. Friendtastic for Parents at drfriendtastic.substack.com/subscribe

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