Keeper Chat

Quick & Dirty Ep: 34 May 03, 2022

Mmm the soothing sounds of Flora & Fauna ranting. We go to the archives and answer a listener question from....last year. What are our opinions on interactive exhibits at zoos? Are they worth it? Are they manageable? Are they the single worst idea anyone has ever had in the entire universe? What do you think?

181: Pesquet’s Parrot Apr 26, 2022

OOO Alliteration - how cute. How do we make an episode about an animal with 0 information? Well, we talk about more important things to fill the time, like roller coasters, cavity sam, and our eating habits.

What is the Pesquet's parrot? Why is it commonly referred to as Dracula's parrot? Is it interesting at all? Where can it be found in the wild and what zoo can it be seen in? Tune in for all the answers to your burning questions.

180: Olm Apr 19, 2022

Did you think you weren't going to learn about something concerningly phallic today? Think again.

This week we tackle the olm and answer questions like: What is neoteny? What did Charles Darwin have to say about this guy in On the Origin of Species? What are the odds he tastes like licorice? How does the olm use electron microscopy to perceive his environment? and Why does he LOOK LIKE THAT?

179: No-see-ums Apr 12, 2022

Have you ever had close relations with a vampire? the invisible man? a little bug? It was probably the no-see-um who is all of those things combined. We chat about the little biting midges that everyone hates. We hate them so bad we tried to kill, like everything, to get rid of them,

What is a no-see-um? Where are they found? How small are they? How many horrible diseases do they carry and what is their experience with DDT? Tune in to find out all this and more.

178: Mexican free-tailed bat Apr 05, 2022

In honor of the new Batman movie, we learned about the Mexican free-tailed bat. Actually that's a lie, we just wanted to talk about a bat.

We answer questions like What is a patagium? How does this species use echolocation to one up other bats? Who on earth is in charge of the M&M wiki and are they ok? What about Texas makes this bat go buck wild? How would Flora and Fauna send secret messages to one another? and WHY does this man zoom around so fast?

177: Lemming Mar 29, 2022

Things lemmings don't do: commit suicide. Things Disney does: kills animals for profit.

This week we learn about the wildly misconstrued lemming. Where did the idea that they commit suicide come from? Do they really not do it? How does Disney come into play and what atrocities did they commit? Why is Flora's soul mate probably a lemming and when does Ole Worm come knockin? Tune in to find out.

176: Krait Mar 15, 2022

It's been a hot minute since we dished on a reptile! Come learn about the Krait, a noodle with an edge.

We answer questions like: What does it mean to be ophiophagous? Why does this snake genus have THE BEST name (#bungarus)? Where in the world can kraits be found? How does the venom of the krait affect its victims? Are Flora and Fauna claustrophobic? (spoiler: yes) and How does the krait fit into the Ninjago universe?

175: Jaguarundi Mar 08, 2022

Lil kitty cat that blends in with the otters. There isn't much to this lil guy but we talk about him anyway. It is what you have demanded of us.

We chat about where jaguarundis are found, what they eat, and how high they can jump. They may be from Roswell and their favorite store might be Kohl's.

174: Icefish Mar 01, 2022

Antarctica stans, rise up! This frosty fish is full of surprises.

We answer questions like what does it mean to be piscivorous? Why is icefish blood colorless? What is going on with their hemoglobin? Was the icefish created in Darwin's image? and Why does the ocean always give way to some of the absolute weirdest animals on Earth?

173: Horseshoe Crab Feb 22, 2022

H is for BONELESS HORSE. Also sometimes referred to as a horseshoe crab, but what even is it anyway? We chat about this frisbees closest relatives. Can horseshoe crabs sting me? Just how many legs is too many legs? Did Ariel use her legs to breathe? Find out in the latest ep.

172: Gibbon Feb 15, 2022

What about a little ape, huh? What about a little furry friend?

This week we learn about some of our favorite primates, the gibbon! Learn answers to some your burning questions like What is brachiation? On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do the babies look like aliens? What is a gibbon song and why is it BEAUTIFUL? and What are some of Flora and Fauna's experiences working with gibbons?

171: Flying Lemur Feb 08, 2022

It doesn't fly and it's not a lemur, we are off to a great start. Tune in to hear about a little critter that yeets itself off limbs to forage for tasty leaves.

We answer questions like: Where are flying lemurs found? What actually is a flying lemur? Where are Flora & Fauna's umbilical cords? What if steering wheels were made of skin? Are flying lemurs endangered?

170: Emu Feb 01, 2022

Modern day dinosaur? Yes puhlease.

This week we answer all of your big bird questions, like: what is a ratite? How fast can emus run? Are these Australian birds actually muppets? How do they support seed dispersal in their environment? and Are they the embodiment of new boot goofin? (spoiler: absolutely 100% yes)

169: Dung Beetle Jan 25, 2022

Dirty buggies. There are 8000 of these, oh my god, I had no idea. This is overwhelming, so instead of giving you any factual information, let's talk about everyone's favorite movie franchise, Air Dung.

Where do dung beetles live? If I took them on a field trip, would they love it? Do they live, eat, or breed in the poop? Or is this a trifecta situation. Are we overdue for another Egyptian phase? YES

168: Coral Jan 18, 2022

It's a plant! It's a rock! No ding dong, it's an animal. Buckle up and learn about this ocean friend.

This week we tackle questions like: How can an animal reproduce both sexually and asexually? What's it like not having a butt? What's the difference between a polyp, colony, and reef? What ON EARTH are zooxanthellae and how do they help coral? and What can you do to help preserve coral reefs?

167: Brown Recluse Jan 11, 2022

SPIDERMAN. It's trending. If Peter Parker was bit by a brown recluse his super power would have been just his flesh rotting away. Way less interesting.

We chat about where these spiders are located and if we should be afraid of them or not. Will a brown recluse hunt me down and bite me? Can I live with 2000 of them and be okay? Will I be able to identify them and will it even matter? Tune in for a bit of doctor patient roleplay and more!

166: Albatross Jan 04, 2022

Kicking off 2022 with a return to the Animals of the Internet! And starting off with the letter A....Albatross!

Talk about a BIG BIRD, this man has the largest wingspan and could definitely dunk on Michael Jordan. Ever wanted to know about dynamic soaring and slope soaring? How about how albatross use their tubinares to measure airspeed in flight? What is philopatry and how does it relate to this bird's romance novel? The answers to this and many more available now!

165: Waterbuck Dec 28, 2021

Even. Toed. Ungulate. You love to see it. We chat about a really hefty creature. One that may or may not actually like spending time in the water. Who is to say?

We learn things like: What do waterbuck eat? Are they serial killers? Why are waterbuck named that? How many ticks can a single waterbuck have? Why you wouldn't want to get a sniff of one, and more.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 33 Dec 21, 2021

Festive advice for the festive season! If you're applying to be a zookeeper, this one is for you!

We answer the question: what are some green flags to look for when applying for and interviewing for zookeeping jobs?

164: Hippopotamus Dec 14, 2021

Been a hot minute since we've covered megafauna - strap in for a big boy. Also, to learn more than you probably expected about Invisalign.

We answer questions like: Are we the world's premier even-toed ungulate fans? What was Pablo Escabar doing and how did it involve hippos? Are pygmy hippos just baby hippos? (NO, duh) and What makes hippos one of the most dangerous animals on the planet?

163: Mimic octopus Dec 07, 2021

Having one physical form is so last year. Why not disguise yourself as anyone and anything like the mimic octopus!

We answer questions about this stealthy cephalopod, such as what kinds of sea creatures can it mimic? How does it adapt to specific predators? If an octopus were to do a split, what would that look like? How is their mimicry used in predation?

162: Blue Footed-Booby Nov 30, 2021

It's about time we talk about the foot fetishists of the animal kingdom. How can anyone resist those sweet baby blues?

We chat about the blue footed-booby. Where are they found? What makes the Blue Footed-Booby have blue feet? Do they have huge knockers or what? What does a female booby look for in a mate? Do the babies commit horrible atrocities?

161: Opossum Nov 23, 2021

Watch out, we got a waste management icon for you this week: the Opossum!

Get answers to questions like: what does it mean to "play possum"? why are opossums so important for environmental cleanup? why are they such a mood? what fun marsupial qualities do they possess? and where can I get a pair of those fabulous fingerless gloves?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 32 Nov 09, 2021

You have more questions and we have more answers. A listener wants to know what happens when animals fight at the zoo? Do keepers intervene? Do we sit by the sidelines and let it happen? Is there anything we CAN do? Is there anything you can do? Tune in to find out. Also forgive us both for being on death's door in this episode. Getting old sucks, lol.

160: Loggerhead Shrike Nov 02, 2021

Let's all close our eyes and pretend it is still October. This was recorded in the spooky month so just live with it. Who is your favorite slasher? Freddy? Jason? The Loggerhead Shrike? If you ever wanted to impale a mouse than this is the guy to watch for tips.

We chat about all things loggerhead shrike. What is a shrike? What does this have to do with Hannibal? Will you ever stop talking about Hannibal? Wait was this an ad for Hannibal all along? What do shrikes eat? What makes the hunting of the shrike so different?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 31 Oct 26, 2021

*HOT TAKE ALERT* Flora and Fauna want all keepers to have safe and fair working conditions and to be paid a livable wage. RADICAL.

In this episode, we discuss salary transparency in job postings, red flags in job interviews, the fallacy of competitive passion and its role in exploitation, and how to set healthy boundaries at work that prioritize personal well-being. You can be professional and promote animal welfare without working yourself to death, babe

159: Stargazer Oct 19, 2021

Atone for your sins, lest you end up a face on the bottom of the ocean.

This week we learn about the stargazer fish, a true NIGHTMARE MAN. We answer questions like what is an ambush predator? what adaptations does the stargazer have to camouflage itself in the ocean floor? Why is he electric AND capable of envenomating bystanders? WHAT CRIMES DID HE COMMIT (we never actually answer this one, it haunts us still).

158: Leech Oct 12, 2021

They want to suck your blood! And you should let them, maybe? We continue the spookiest time of year with basically just an episode about vampires. This was what was inside Edward Cullen all along.

We chat about things like: Where can I find a leech? Why is Illinois the pits? Who even wrote the bible? Can a leech hurt me? How much black bile should I have in my body? Is Pliny the Elder really smart or really dumb? How does a leech stay attached to a body? How much blood do leeches drink and how many times a year do they need to feed?

157: Spider tailed horned viper Oct 05, 2021

Hang up the fall foliage, bust out the hot chocolate, and throw a pumpkin on your head idk it's spooky season!

This week we talk about snakes AND spiders - two for one, baby! We answer questions like: what was Darwin THINKING when he went off the Viperidae template with this one? Were caudal lures the origins of fishing? What would you have on your booty if you were trying to lure in a snack? Have you seen the new Venom movie? lol

156: Chinook Salmon Sep 28, 2021

Everyone banded together to bring you...this salmon. A certified monster lover. Who doesn't love a shapeshifting fanged fish the size of a small man?

We chat about: Where are Chinook salmon found? Why is their flesh pink? How do salmon know where to go to spawn? What is a salmon run like, and why is it horrific? Am I okay to eat salmon? If I had to choose to nut or die, what would I pick?

155: Dhole Sep 21, 2021

Did you think we were done talking about fox-adjacent creatures? Think again!

This week, we learn all about the dhole and answer some questions like are these things related to wolves and is there an aLpHa?? what is the most purchased item at Wal-Mart? how many teats does a female dhole have? could you push one over if you needed to? And why did Rudyard Kipling have such huge beef with these animals?

Heads up, there is an unholy amount of background noise in this episode, stemming from Flora's cat and Fauna's partner. It certainly adds *flavor* to it all, but you've been warned.

154: Wattled Crane Sep 14, 2021

Wee-woo wee-woo, the police are here, there is a carunkle alert issued for this episode. Please proceed with caution.

We chat about things like: Who is booger anus? What that wattle do? Where are wattled cranes found and how many things are they the best at? What's a good plan to save the world, and why is it just the plot of Wall-E?

153: Sperm whale Sep 07, 2021

How have we never discussed this explicit whale. Anyways, call me Ishmael and let's get on with it.

This week, we answer your questions about the sperm whale, such as why is it called a sperm whale? why do so many nautical terms have seemingly phallic/male (sus) connotations? what is spermaceti and is it related to spaghetti? what is a sperm whale's favorite food? and what the heck does My Hero Academia have anything to do with this?

152: Brazilian Treehopper Aug 31, 2021

Is it high fashion? Or is it just helicopter blades on top of a cicada? Come learn about the Brazilian Treehopper who doesn't do much but look weird and suck sap. I guess there are worse things in life.

Learn things like: Where is the Brazilian Treehopper found? Does it live or want to live in Antarctica? How many species of this thing is out there? Does the treehopper's crazy style have a purpose?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 30 Aug 24, 2021

We answer a listener submitted question! Do we have any tips for working in weather!? Oh we do. We have experienced all weather events and seasons... and they all have their miserable moments.

So what can you do to prepare yourself to be working in the weather that the weather-person says, don't go out in? Tune in to hear how to beat the heat and the cold, and how a trash bag is gonna be your best friend.

151: Desert Rain Frog Aug 17, 2021

You don't even know you know, but you know. Come learn more about the living squeaky toy who is always down to throw hands. This lil frog isn't just a regular frog, he is a dry boy.

Come learn about things like: Where are desert rain frogs found? How does small boy get with such big lady? Do frogs who live in a desert need a tadpole stage? Who really is god's favorite?

150: Wolf eel Aug 10, 2021

Do you love tiny crevices, man lips, and crunchy foods? Well...then this guy is probably for you.

This week we answer questions about the wolf eel, such as: is it an eel? Why do his teeth look like that? Does he have a rebellious teenage phase? How has the movie Ghost wormed its way into the wolf eel's life? What secret crimes has Sega committed? And what are some of Flora and Fauna's favorite 90s vibes?

149: Honey Badger Aug 03, 2021

Remember back in the day when we found the simplest of youtube videos funny? Well, they aren't anymore because you're dead inside. Let's take a look at the honey badger, a viral sensation and a Lion Guard.

We answer stuff like: Why shouldn't I put my entire name and life on a disney wikipedia page? Where are honey badgers found? What do honey badgers eat? Would they eat me?

148: Beaver Jul 27, 2021

Think you're busier than a beaver? Think again.

This week we answer questions like: why do beavers build dams? what's up with those orange teeth? why are they so pivotal to an ecosystem? what do they think about their neighbors? and why are people obsessed with their castoreum?

147: Addax Jul 20, 2021

Time for your regularly scheduled dose of even toed ungulate. Let's chat about a dry kinda guy. And before you come @ us check out Sahara Conservation Fund if you're interested in helping these dudes out, Flora forgot to mention it in the episode....

But we do mention stuff like: Where are addax found? How many are left in the wild? How many are found in captivity? Is hunting weird or nah? Is it possible there is a weird curse put on the addax that is making them all die, or is it just humans? How are addax specially adapted to live in such a dry place?

Zoo Wrap up pt.2 Jul 13, 2021

Here is part 2 of 2 where we talk about our past zookeeping experiences. If you're new to the game, Flora and Fauna have roughly 19 years of zoo experience between them and recently left the field for other pursuits. These episodes will be a deep dive into our rationale behind leaving such a coveted career field, how we knew it was time to go, and what led us to that decision.

BIG DISCLAIMER: we have wicked mad respect for all animal care professionals out there, in zoos and in other fields. We also deeply care about animal conservation and support a lot of the work zoos do. Our personal experiences are by no means meant to offend anyone still in the field or aspiring to join. It is merely our opportunity to discuss some extremely widespread issues and hopefully provide a conversation starter for some positive change in the future.

Zoo Wrap Up pt. 1 Jul 06, 2021

Hey hey heyyy Grime Family! You've been asking for this one for a long time and we finally got around to it. This is part 1 of a 2 part episode wherein we talk all about our zookeeping experiences - the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you're new to the game, Flora and Fauna have roughly 19 years of zoo experience between them and recently left the field for other pursuits. These episodes will be a deep dive into our rationale behind leaving such a coveted career field, how we knew it was time to go, and what led us to that decision.

BIG DISCLAIMER: we have wicked mad respect for all animal care professionals out there, in zoos and in other fields. We also deeply care about animal conservation and support a lot of the work zoos do. Our personal experiences are by no means meant to offend anyone still in the field or aspiring to join. It is merely our opportunity to discuss some extremely widespread issues and hopefully provide a conversation starter for some positive change in the future.

146: Tiger Beetle Jun 29, 2021

This episode is chaotic, but, when are they not. Flora's mom makes a brief appearance. But we mostly talk about a BUG. This one is weird, he gave up on flight, and became an Olympian, but he paid the price.

So what's up with tiger beetles? How many subspecies of tiger beetle are they? Do they have mustaches? Do they have bones? How fast can the fastest tiger beetle run? Do we want to go to the past or the future? Is there a future? Listen now for the answers to all of these burning questions.

145: Jaguar Jun 22, 2021

Meet the only big cat native to the Americas! (Mountain lions, don't @ us, you're not included in this) This week learn all about the Jaguar and get answers to questions like:

What is an obligate carnivore? How do jaguars hunt? What are the differences between Jaguars, Leopards, and Cheetahs? Are all cats just really big idiots? What is a melanistic color variant and how do black panthers fit into that? Why are jaguars SO BUILT?

144: Hoatzin Jun 15, 2021

KC coming at ya with a weird bird! I mean, all birds are kinda weird but this one takes the cake. Also maybe someone call Flora a doctor. She needs help.

We chat about things like, What makes a hoatzin so weird? Where are they found? Do hoatzin share similarities with cows? Would we rather go flying or eat pizza? If there was a really bad horrific world ending event, what would we like it to be? How do you even say hoatzin? And more!

143: Cicada Jun 08, 2021

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Are you some of the blessed few who are experiencing Brood X right now? If so, we're jealous. This week we learn about the Cicada, a man of many talents.

Ever wonder why cicadas spend most of their life underground? Or why when they emerge en masse they seem like a horror movie monster? What about their resonating chamber butts? Can they really cause hearing damage? Does their molt taste like popcorn? How do they use aposematism to protect themselves and why aren't you OUT THERE ENJOYING THE BUG LIFE RIGHT NOW.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 29 Jun 01, 2021

It's time for another Quick and Dirty! This time we get asked about a touchy subject. What do you do when your management/peers/coworkers hate the animals you work with? How can you convince them that they have the wrong attitude? What if your management sucks? Well, boy o boy, do we have the answer for you.

Tune in to hear how best to tell everyone to sit and spin.

142: Mudskipper May 25, 2021

A little yucky man...what more could you want? He craves the best of both worlds and exists in all words. Say hello to Hannah Montana, the Last Airbender.

This week we learn about mudskippers, an amphibious fish with an identity crisis. How does he thermoregulate? Are his eyeballs a headband and where can I get one? Why does he have secret bonus fins that make him look jacked? How does he regulate ammonia production and reduce the membrane permeability of his skin? Also who gave him the right?

141: Blue Whale May 18, 2021

It's the biggest animal to have ever lived ever in the history of ever. That's insane. Tune in to learn more about this big wet thing!

We chat about our love for Kristen Stewart, feeding poles, and the Apple Bottom Boys. The whale lives in the ocean, filter feeds, and moves kinda slow. How many school buses is a blue whale? What hunts blue whales? Are blue whales an endangered species? Can someone tell Kristen Stewart we said hi?

140: Lamprey May 11, 2021

It's an eel! It's a noodle! No, it's actually a sinister cartilaginous tube, grow up.

This week we answer your burning questions about the lamprey, including: what is up with this tube boy? Why are some lampreys parasitic carnivores and others peaceful angels? Are the dots on the sides of their face gill pores or very cool edgy facial piercings? How powerful is their suck? What is a buccal gland and how does it aid in their sin? (hint: it involves anticoagulant and disturbing imagery)

Heads up, minor Attack on Titan spoilers at 17:35 - 18:00. Thanks, Flora.

139: Umbrellabird May 04, 2021

Fair warning, this has absolutely zero interesting animal facts in it. Come learn about the consequences for your actions.

We also chat about things like: Is there anything even interesting about the umbrellabird? Where are they found? When is Christmas John coming for me? Can I escape it?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 28 Apr 27, 2021

Why ANYONE would come to us for advice on making a good first impression is baffling. But that's exactly what we discuss in this week's Quick and Dirty!

We answer: how to make a good first impression at a new job and how to build relationships with new coworkers?

We also talk more about prostates than you'd think.

138: Marine Iguana Apr 20, 2021

We are on a wet roll, keep them coming. This is basically a Godzilla episode, take that as you will.

We answer burning questions like: Is Madagascar the Galapagos Islands? Are we fighting with Dad? What do marine iguanas eat? How does warm reptile boy go into cold water land? If we were in the Little Mermaid would we make the same choice as Ariel?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 27 Apr 13, 2021

Time to play the training game! Everyone dig up your clickers, whistles, target poles, and fave treats, this week's Q&D is all about training! We're gonna give you the HOT TIPS needed to finally teach your caterpillar how to do a push up.

We answer the questions: what are the basics of animal training and what are some of Flora & Fauna's favorite zoo training stories?

137: Clownfish Apr 06, 2021

Yeah, it's Nemo, we get it. We are getting our fish numbers up, back to back wet boys.

Lets get to the nitty gritty: Where are clownfish found? How many species are there? Was Marlin from Finding Nemo supposed to be Nemo's mom? Why do these things live inside other things? Why don't they get stung by the anenome?

136: Puffer fish Mar 30, 2021

Possibly the most aptly named animal out there, this week is all about the Puffer fish!

Have you ever wanted to know: How does a puffer fish puff? Why are his lips so luscious? Is the puffer fish Agatha Christie's most infamous literary murderer? Who needs a stomach when you can become a globe? Tetrodotoxin - what is that? What qualities are *required* in Flora's ideal partner? What is GOING ON with the puffer fish life cycle and WHY does it involve humiliating a man?

Well then you're in luck! Learn answers to these questions and many more in this week's episode!

p.s. we talk a lot about Antichrist, the movie - obviously (skip 55:42-56:10 if you want to avoid horrible grotesque things)

135: Yangtze River Turtle Mar 23, 2021

This ugly little turtle has got a big hill to climb. One of the most endangered species is also very ugly, but that doesn't mean we don't love them! Tune in to hear about this BIG wet turtle friend.

We answer stuff like: How many Yangtze turtles are left? Where were they originally found? What kinda noms do turtles nom? Does Yurtle deserve to be canceled? Is Mitch McConnell our last hope?

134: Domestic rabbit Mar 16, 2021

Bun Bun time!!!! Round. Soft. Little nose. SMOL tail. Ears. What more could you want?? We learn answers to your BURNING rabbit (and non-rabbit) questions like: what is the difference between a rabbit and a hare? Do Flora and Fauna EVEN like each other? What is tonic immobility and why do rabbits do this? Why should you NEVER gift someone a rabbit for Easter? What is a hindgut fermenter and WHY do we talk about eating poop? Are these things rodents and what is going on with those teeth?

Please, handle this man with care

133: Visayan Warty Pig Mar 09, 2021

Let's talk about pigs, baby. Although, we actually talk a lot more about nothing this episode, sorry. Did you know Flora loves pigs? She does, and she's gonna tell you all about it.

We chat about: Where Visayan Warty Pigs are found. What won't a pig eat? How many warty pigs are there? What even is the difference between pigs, hogs, and boars.

132: Goliath beetle Mar 02, 2021

*BUG BUG BE DUM BUG BUG BE DUM DUM* (to the tune of Disturbia by Rihanna) It's bug time. Stop what you're doing and learn about this bug.

We answer questions like: Why is this beetle so big? Better question, why is his larvae SO BIG? How can you differentiate between the different species? How old were you when you went through your Egyptian history phase? Is anyone else also freaking out about the current season of Attack on Titan?? If you were offered mandibles in lieu of your teeth, would you take them? and WHY can this BEETLE lift so much WEIGHT??

Keywords: beetle, The Mummy, embarrassing memories, Attack on Titan, Little Debbie, the Iron Giant

Quick & Dirty Ep: 26 Feb 23, 2021

Back at it again with some questions and advice. This week we answer the question:

- What types of animal-related career fields are out there and how do I get involved?

We also talk quesadilla mishaps, our future career plans, Jeff Corwin, and more!

131: Hellbender Feb 16, 2021

Tag yourself: Snot otter, lasagna lizard, or devil dog? Are you ready to slip into something wet and talk about North America's biggest salamander!?

We answer questions like: Where can I find the Hellbender? Are they really from hell, and what is up with the name? Is this guy gonna steal my girl? What do they like to eat? Do Hellbenders smash or make love? How many species of hellbender are there? Is this an endangered species?

130: Tawny Frogmouth Feb 09, 2021

Big eyes...big mouth...flat head...who is she? The tawny frogmouth! Join us as we learn about another really great bird.

We answer questions like: Is this the week Flora finds love? Is this thing a potoo...does anyone know what a potoo is? Where does the frogmouth get its name? What is your Furby up to these days? How does the frogmouth use cryptic plumage to blend into its environment? And what are your most cringe middle school memories?

As a bonus you get some wild anime recs, some riveting Survivor discussion, and a special appearance from Fauna's playful kitten.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 25 Feb 02, 2021

Time for another quicky! Tune in to get some fun information straight from these two horses mouths. Wanna rant about Star Wars? Wanna hear about weird things Flora found? This is the place for you. But we also answer an email from Abs!

What is some advice we have for Keeper Talks and dealing with unruly guests?! We gotchu guys.

129: Geoduck Jan 26, 2021

Geoduck? More like geoyuck! (or geoyum ;) ) This abomination is the subject of many exasperated sighs, intermittent revulsion, and general body horror. Come learn about it, won't you?

We answer your questions like: Where the heck is this thing located so we can avoid it? Why on earth are people eating it and even more importantly why is it crunchy?? How is this a clam and how has the rest of Class Bivalvia not kicked it to the curb? What is broadcast spawning? And is this the by product of a geodude and golduck sin?

Mukbang if you dare.

128: Puffin Jan 19, 2021

Lil puffin boy! It is your time to shine. However, we are already onto your Illuminati ways. Did you know, there are three species of puffin?! All three are very cute, and possibly working to steal the declaration of independence.

Are puffins related to penguins? How do puffins feed their chicks? Where are puffin found? Does their body hold a lot of secrets? What do puffins have to do with monks? Can puffins use tools? Did you know there are puffins in Star Wars?

127: Mandrill Jan 12, 2021

Time to get wild with the largest monkey in the world! This big beautiful primate is sporting the coolest makeup in town and is on that ultimate clown couture level. Beep beep!

Heads up, this intro is CHATTY. So don't be upset when we screech for the first 15 min :)

We answer questions like: What's the difference between mandrills and baboons? Was Rafiki a mandrill? What on EARTH is going on with their faces....and genitals? How can each of us mitigate deforestation and help the mandrill? and What did our favorite daddy, Charles Darwin, have to say about them?

126: Bobbit Worm Jan 05, 2021

If we don't pick your suggestion, try try again. It's 2021, it's worm time. Settle in and learn about a benthic worm that lives in some ocean somewhere.

How many eyes do bobbit worms have? How big can they get, and how do you even verify that anyway? How do they make love? Is it creepy? What came first, rainbow road, or bobbit worms? How does the bobbit worm eat? Will it eat off my leg? What does this animal have to do with an assault case of the 90s?

125: Snowy owl Dec 29, 2020

What better animal to discuss in the dead of winter, than the Snowy owl? This feathered friend thrives in the cold tundra and can teach us a few things about being *cool*

Throw on a parka and learn answers to questions such as: How does the snowy owl's visual acuity compare to humans? What is kleptoparasitism? How do they stay warm in such frigid temperatures? What are owl pellets and do they make nice presents? and When will Hedwig get the justice she deserves?

124: Hooded Seal Dec 22, 2020

It's December, and we have BIG life changing news! Woohoo! But let's also talk icy cold animals, baby! This guy is very strange. Think Pennywise the clown meets a seal.

We learn a ton about the hooded seal including: Where are hooded seals found? What is the hood part of the seal? Is this a seal or a sea lion? Do they believe in God? What is going on with the lactation in this thing? How long can a hooded seal hold it's breath?

123: Kowari Dec 15, 2020

Whoa-oh here he comes, watch out boy he'll chew you up! Whoa-oh here he comes, he's a mouse-eater! This episode is all about the Kowari, a small Australia marsupial who will keep you guessing.

We answer questions like: Why do Australian marsupials constantly throw us for a loop? How are the shape of his teeth conducive to a carnivorous diet? Is it pronounced gif or jif?? How big is he in relation to a school bus? And is this unit of measurement even remotely helpful?

122: Crayfish Dec 08, 2020

Is he your Crawdaddy or your Crawpappy? Tune in to find out about this little decapod who can have a bunch of different jobs!

We talk about all the names for crawfish. Where are they found? Where do yabby come in? Does a crayfish need water to breath? Would a crawdad be able to tell you if your beer sucks? What kind of things do mudbugs taste good with?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 24 Dec 01, 2020

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where we answer listened-submitted questions and use our combined brain cell to try our very best to provide a single ounce of wisdom! This week, we help a listener find ways to improve their resume during a global pandemic and answer some wild Would You Rathers. Everyone whip your resumes and get ready for some *~*professional*~* development. We answer:

Do you guys have any advice for college students on how to continue to gain experience while COVID is going on and I can't volunteer or do any internships? Are there any courses, conferences, or certifications that would help give me an edge on a resume?

121: Platypus Nov 24, 2020

Hello! Happy Turkey Day week. Please fist all your turkeys responsibly. Join us as we learn about Daddy Darwin's mid-life crisis, the platypus. What is GOING on???

We learn about things like: Where are platypus found? Why are they so strange? What kind of mammal is a platypus? Do they have an acceptable number of teats? Does anyone even know what a mole feels like? Are platypus venomous? If I twerk will they be able to find me?

120: Red fox Nov 17, 2020

Ready to ignite your loins? This week is all about the Red fox, and...we weren't ready.

We answer your burning questions like: What is a supracaudal gland and why are animals always wiping it on stuff? Would a fox be a good roommate or would they just piss in the fridge? What is a copulatory tie? Why are foxes so prevalent throughout history? and Why are they so dang sexy??

Get ready for a sexual awakening, furrriends.

119: Bongo Nov 10, 2020

We discuss this large, kinda boring, antelope! Come hang out with us before we knew the results of the election and were still kinda losing our actual minds!

We talk bongo facts which includes: How many teats should a human have. Do bongo have white chocolate drizzle? Are bongo craving the mineral? What even is an antelope.

118: Dumbo octopus Nov 03, 2020

We all need more squishy cuteness in our lives, and who better to provide this than the dumbo octopus! With big ears, big eyes, and a squat bean bod, he is the ideal specimen.

We learn answers to questions like: How did the dumbo octopus get its name? Is a kidney stone actually just a tooth? Why doesn't the dumbo octopus have a ink sac? Why does grimpoteuthis slap so hard? And will Avril Lavigne ever be a guest on our show? (YES PLEASE)

Quick & Dirty Ep: 23 Oct 27, 2020

Thanks Ethan and Max for this wonderful question. How do you cope with switching back and forth between internships and college? Sorry you assumed we can cope with anything, but thanks for writing in! If you have questions for your fav duo just shoot an email to keeperchat@gmail.com

117: Sawfish Oct 20, 2020

Spooky month continues with the man, the fish, the weapon. This week we learn all about the sawfish!

Learn answers to burning questions, such as: What the heck are ampullae of Lorenzini and what the double heck do they have to do with the sawfish? What's going on with that knife on his face? How does being a euryhaline species allow the sawfish to live all over the world? Which came first, the sawfish or the saw? And what would you do with a saw strapped to your face?

We also include a Flora & Fauna certified handy safety how-to guide for putting things up your butt. Hold on to your dermal denticles and enjoy!

116: Bearded Vulture Oct 13, 2020

A bird with a beard! A bird who takes baths! A bird with cool stomach acid! Come learn about a neat species of vulture with us.

We chat about things like: Where does the bearded vulture live? Has it ever killed a man? Where does it get its name? What exactly does the bearded vulture eat and why is it a spooky Halloween boy? How much money do I need to make to qualify a purchase of my own crag? Are bearded vulture really red in color?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 22 Oct 06, 2020

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where it's time for more advice from your friendly neighborhood idiots! This week we discuss self-confidence in the field and working with varied feedback, as well as the difference in perception of interns and seasonal keepers. We also gush over ambassador animal keepers, the most powerful, friendly, and charismatic keepers out there! And as always, we answer Would You Rathers from our listeners, but this time they are spoooooooky!! Ooooooooo

p.s. as always our cats are VOCAL and PRESENT. We are SORRY.

We answer:

- How to deal with different feedback from different facilities and how to take more initiative, bolster your self-confidence, and demonstrate maturity in the field?

- What are our thoughts on ambassador animal keepers and why do we think these keepers are often looked down upon?

115: Zebra Shark Sep 29, 2020

Shark boy! Does he have stripes like a zebra? Yes and no, but mostly no. But also, yes. Join us and listen to the rants and raves of your fav duo. We have a weird surprise in store so please tune in to learn more.

We chat about things like: Where are zebra sharks found? What do they look like, what do they eat, what do they want to be when they grow up? Do they have facial hair? Are they solitary or not? Do they go to that one shark rave every year? Are men obsolete?

114: Naked mole rat Sep 22, 2020

Wrinkles? Yes. Naked? Yes. Kind of unnerving? Oh yes. This week we learn about the naked mole rat! An underground rodent that holds the secret to the fountain of youth, but is it worth it??

We answer questions like: What is eusociality and how does it function? Are they a mole and/or a rat? What American girl dolls would Flora and Fauna be? Just how much body horror is involved in this episode? WHY are naked mole rats resistant to poison and cancer damage?? And how well can you naked mole rap?

113: Sea Horse Sep 14, 2020

Seabiscuit! We chat about the equine of the sea. It isn't a sea or a horse, so what is it? Just take five seconds to look at a seahorse swim and tell me this is a real, normal, acceptable thing?!? They are cryptids.

We answer things like: How fast can a seahorse swim? Do male seahorses *really* give birth? Are seahorses monogamous and what's up with their courtship? Can we relate this back to Danny Devito? What does the human brain have to do with all of this?

112: Snow leopard Sep 08, 2020

Dreaming of cooler days and fluffy kitties - perfect time to learn about the snow leopard! This cold weather cutie is found in high elevations and high on our list of poofiest goofiest babes.

We answer questions like: How on earth does this goofball keep from freezing to death? What would they order off the Skyline Chili menu? Are snow leopards considered big cats? How likely is it that a vampire named them? (hint: most definitely probably very likely) How good are Flora and Fauna at chuffing? And is anyone willing to buy us a haunted plush animal version of a snow leopard we found for $600?

111: Shoebill Sep 01, 2020

A big birb boy! A muppet with a ponytail! Join us in the lake behind Sesame Street and meet the Shoebill. Everyone says he is the scariest bird in the world, but that makes no sense and we are just mad about it.

We talk things like: Where do shoebill live? Can a shoebill stick its spine out of it's throat? What do they eat? What's a super fun fact about shoebill? Is he a stork, a pelican, or something else? Are shoebill anymore evil than any other bird?

110: Marine Flatworm Aug 25, 2020

Who doesn't love a worm? Particular a very small, very wet, very fragile one? This week, we investigate a tiny ocean man and get all up in his business. Whip out those microscopes and take a peep at this paper-thin pal.

Join us and learn answers to your burning questions, like: how'd he get so thin? What's up with his butt, or lack thereof? How is he different from nudibranchs and sea slugs? Why ON EARTH does he have two penises? And why is penis fencing now a part of my search history?

Keeper Chat Trailer Aug 22, 2020

A quick and dirty trailer to play for friends and family to help spread the Grime Gospel!

109: Dugong Aug 18, 2020

Dugongidae is pretty fun to say so let's talk mermaids. This aquatic herbivore is very large and very different from manatees. Tune in to hear us put the Dugong song on blast because hey wow it had no correct information in it at all. Flora and Fauna talk about their secret tattoos and what their Kentucky Derby names would be.

We answer stuff like: How well can a dugong kiss? Is a dugong related to dolphins? Aren't manatees the same thing? How much does a human brain weigh? How do you pronounce the word scarce? Is the dewgong pokemon a dugong?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 21 Aug 11, 2020

It's time for another Quick & Dirty, where we answer questions we receive from our listeners! This week, we set aside our general bitterness and take a stroll down memory lane to relive some of the more heartwarming, exciting, and flat out INSANE experiences from our zoo careers. Take an inside look into Flora & Fauna's pasts, and learn plenty of dumb tidbits about your two favorite zookeepers!

We answer:

- Any advice for new keepers?

- What is your favorite zoo memory?

108: Tuatara Aug 04, 2020

The beak headed baby godzilla that scooted its way into our hearts. He isn't a lizard!!! I'm not a monkey!!! Pay attention. This little man is going to blow your mind. We answer questions like: Wait, what, is the tuatara really not a lizard? Why is the tuatara the way that it is? Where can I find one? How many rows of teeth does he have. How many eyes does the tuatara have? What is going on with it's genitals. Is this finally about the illuminati? Why did it take so long to mention the illuminati. Also, is the tuatara nocturnal and how old do they live to be?

107: Colobus monkey Jul 28, 2020

This week we learn about the colobus monkey! This thumb-less monochromatic man had us asking questions like: why do they have a ruminant style digestive system? Is life harder without a thumb? Why are they considered holy in some parts of Africa? According to the colobus, what are the best ways to socialize with friends post-pandemic? And why do their babies look exactly like Voldemort?

Join us to find out the answers to these questions, and more!

106: Pink Fairy Armadillo Jul 21, 2020

A little man! We asked for something ugly and you delivered. Come learn about the smallest armadillo. Do we like it or hate it? The jury is still out. We both have worked with dillos in past and it didn't go that well. Also, we chat about some cool news about Rat Raves, stick around to the end to hear what's up.

We answer questions like: Hey, what's a pink fairy armadillo? Is it just Donald Trump's wig come to life? Is it able to be defeated? What does the fairy armadillo eat? Why is it pink? Would we rather think about fingernails or lick tissues? What are idioms anyway? Is the pink fairy armadillo endangered?

105: Scorpion fly Jul 14, 2020

This bug man is neither a scorpion or a fly...so what's up with that name? We answer those questions that keep you up at night, such as: Excuse me...what is a genital bulb? What would you present as your nuptial gift? Is Jennie Maria Arms actually a Spiderman villain? What does the scorpion fly have in common with Hannibal Lecter? (Hint: it's a lot) How does he play in to forensic entomology? And what do we have to do to earn our girl scout badge for cryptids?

We talk Flora's roller-skating tips, Fauna's medical expertise, and we put an ad out for a personal shopper.

104: White Ibis Jul 07, 2020

BIN CHICKEN time. This stupid thing. It's a white plague doctor looking bird. We chat about both the American White Ibis and the Australian White Ibis.

We answer questions like: Why do Australian's gotta say weird stuff all the time? Were Flora and Fauna once conjoined twins? What's the difference between an Australian and American white ibis? Why do they call the ibis a bin chicken? Are they sinners or not?

103: Binturong Jun 30, 2020

How can it be Binturong, when it feels so Binturight? This week we learn all about this popcorn-smelling boy and answer some of your burning questions, like:

Was Jacob from Twilight actually a binturong all along? What is up with guts? Why do binturongs smell like popcorn and does this mean they love movies? and Can I actually just poop in my garden though?

Both Flora and Fauna's cats make special appearances. Yay?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 20 Jun 23, 2020

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where we answer questions we receive from our listeners! We talk life after zookeeping, how to live your best glowing life among the hAtErZ, some promising job prospects, and we answer some OUTRAGEOUS Would You Rathers. There are plenty of background cat sounds, cat lovers rejoice!

We answer:

- What point should someone move on from zookeeping? And how to navigate short-term vs long-term workplace issues?

- How to leave keeping when it's such a specialized job and how to relate current skills to non-animal jobs?

102: Leopard Seal Jun 16, 2020

Let's finally talk about something that exists in Antarctica. Great idea, but why did it have to be Satan's son? Flora has feelings about wet boys that eat tuxedo boys.

We answer questions like: What is a pinniped? What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? How many krillion krill are there in the ocean? Do seals do the worm or can they walk on their flippers? Does the leopard seal need conservation help? Or should we just leave it to it's own devices since it has chosen a life of absolute sin?

101: Sea Otter Jun 09, 2020

Take a deep dive into the ocean this week and learn about the Sea Otter! You all have been BUGGING us to do them so we HOPE it was WORTH the WAIT.

We answer your tantalizing questions like: Do they really hold hands when they sleep? Are they the fluffiest animal in existence? Why are the males insane? What ON EARTH is spraint? Why can't I have an armpit pocket? and Are sea otters basically the dogs of the ocean?

100: Centipede Jun 02, 2020

What else were we supposed to do for the big 100?! Filled with fun information and a confirmation that Flora hates these very much.

We answer your burning bug facts like: How many legs do centipedes actually have? If locked in a room with a Nintendo Switch, would we eat it? What is the love life of a centipede even like? Does gravity have an effect on centipedes? Tune in to find out.

99: Diamondback Rattlesnake May 26, 2020

Sweet slamma jamma, check out this root tootin' man! We learn all about the Diamondback rattlesnake in this week's episode, and have the answers to all of your burning questions, like: What's the rattle made of and why do they have it? Who gave them permission to be SO GOOD at swimming? What that venom do? What should you do if you're bitten by a rattlesnake? Why should you avoid killing any rattlesnake you come across? and Is he just one big meat tube?

This week we also have our first *lost episode* experience, which really just means the butt end of this episode fell off. Cue up the spooky music and join us in the audio void.

98: Manta Ray May 19, 2020

A big beautiful ocean boy! We chat about the biggest ray in the world and how absolutely cool it is. We also chat about Jigsaw and some kind of evil batman.

We answer your burning questions like: How big is a manta ray? Are mantas self aware? How many species of manta ray are there? What would Flora do for $5? When is length not length, but width? Does tourism have an affect on manta ray populations?

97: Ducks May 12, 2020

*Heads up, in this episode we discuss the sexual violence present within duck communities, so please listen with caution if this subject may be triggering for you. Discussion begins around the 36 minute mark and lasts until the 47 minute mark.*

Duck the patriarchy! This week we take a stand with our waterfowl sisters and learn all about ducks (and a bit of their problematic nature). We answer questions like: Why do ducks waddle? Why should you avoid feeding them bread at the park? Why are their genitals absolutely WHACK? And we find a great new way to make all those pesky phone autocorrects into what we meant all along.

96: Elephant pt. 2 May 05, 2020

Elephant continues with talk about intelligence, human/elephant conflict, and the entertainment industry. We answer questions like: Does an elephant recognize itself in a mirror? If I make an elephant do my math homework, will I pass? When was the term Jumbo coined? Did Edison electrocute an elephant? And, should elephants be in zoos?

95: Elephant pt. 1 Apr 28, 2020

Get comfy, we chat about African and Asian elephants in part one of this mega episode. This part focuses on description, habitat, and general facts. We answer questions like: Do elephants cry? Do they want no scrub? How can you tell African and Asian elephants apart? How long are their genitals? Do they out bone us? Is there more goo inside a school bus or an elephant? What do elephants eat?

Basically all the stuff that's been keeping you up at night!

94: Bombardier beetle Apr 21, 2020

Mixing chemicals? In his butt?? It's more likely than you'd think! Slap on your PPE and join us as we learn about the bombardier beetle, a certified chemistry ace, as he shows us how to one up our enemies and gain some major street credit. We answer burning questions like: Will a bombardier beetle eat a leaf if offered one? Are they master chemists? Do bombardier beetles prove creationism is real? Or is that the dumbest thing ever? Is shooting liquid acid fire out of your butt the coolest? (Yes).

93: Pitohui Apr 14, 2020

He looks like a little Halloween Oreo but he tastes like a spicy meatball. This is some kinda bird? We answer questions like: What's a bird wave? Is Poison by Bell Biv Devoe one of the greatest songs ever? What are Flora & Fauna's favorite cookies? Can I lick this bird? Does a pitohui get it's poison from it's diet or something else?

92: Coconut Crab Apr 07, 2020

The moment you've all been waiting for - It's crab time. Learn about this LARGE boy who has been framed for some crimes and maybe needs to go to jail for others. He big, he molt, he crab. What more is there to say?

We answer questions like: Are coconut crabs left or right handed? Where do we draw the line between robbing and grocery shopping? Did coconut crabs eat Amelia Earhart? Are spermatophores nature's gushers? Is eating a live bird the world's worst crime?

91: Surinam Toad Mar 31, 2020

We are all frogs and only some of us are toads. But toads aren't really even a thing, it's just a frog. Anyway, anyone have Trypophopia because this is NOT made for you. Made for everyone but you, actually.

We talk about things like: What is the difference between a frog and a toad? What do surinam toads eat? Have aliens visited Earth previously, and are they disguised as a toad? Why is it bad to fondle and molest amphibians? Why should you use vocal chords when you can rattle your hyoid bone instead? How do amphibians breathe?

90: Babirusa Mar 24, 2020

Hope everyone is staying safe out there! What better way to take your mind off of the current state of things, than by learning about a big weird bald pig?? Join us as we argue at length over some weird teeth, discuss our zoo guest pet peeves, and identify gaps in Darwin's theory. Yee-haw

89: Arapaima Mar 17, 2020

Everyone staying safe out there?? F&F are here to help you through the apocalypse! Join us as we learn about the arapaima, a BIG ol' fish who has the AUDACITY to breathe air. We try (and fail) to do math, chat Pokemon (what's new), and don't actually talk about this fish until 17 minutes in (yikes). This one's a real winner, folks.

88: Gorilla Mar 10, 2020

Big? Check. Strong? Check. Intimidating? CHECK. Scaredy cats? Ehhhh yes. This week we learn about the gorilla, the bodybuilder of the natural world. Think you can beat them in an arm wrestling competition? Think again, sucka.

87: African Penguin Mar 03, 2020

It's a long one. Flora has a lot to say about this wet idiot. Mainly that she hearts them.

86: Kakapo Feb 25, 2020

New Zealand's got the wildest birds, y'all. This week we learn about the Kakapo, the world's heaviest parrot! Join us as we dive deep into this gif-generating bird, discuss our fear of big sweaty dudes, and learn more about Flora's musical past.

85: Mantis Shrimp Feb 18, 2020

He can see everything. He can punch everything... including possibly One Punch Man himself. This thing is actual peak performance but also peak murder, so thank Darwin he is in the bottom of the ocean.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 19 Feb 04, 2020

This week, Flora and Fauna have a pre-vacation breakdown and answer more of your questions! Listen to the madness ensue as we touch on tips for getting the most out of kindle, Edgar Allen Poe prequels, and mullets.

We discuss:

- Our favorite (and least favorite) parts of the job and why?

- If we could work with any other species or in any other section, what would it be and why?

84: Funnel Web Spider Jan 28, 2020

What do Rumplestiltskin, Gordon Ramsay, bungholes, and lower back tattoos all have in common? They're all prominently featured in this week's episode. Learn about the Funnel Web Spider, a venomous babe from Australian who just wants to soak.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 18 Jan 21, 2020

Time for more advice! For whatever reason, you guys keep asking for our advice when in actuality, we're just little slug women doing our best. TLDL: We love our volunteers and you should too, end of story. Also, name your animals, because why the heck not?

This week, we discuss:

- Our experiences with volunteers, our thoughts on their role in the zoo, and advice on how not to be a dirtbag to the people donating their time to help out the zoo

- The pros vs cons of naming zoo animals and sharing those names with the public - is it an effective means of making personal connections or does it encourage exotic pet ownership?

83: Axolotl Jan 14, 2020

Him BABY! Small amphibian with big smoothie energy. Resistant to cancer, yes, regrow limbs, yes, cute, yes.

82: Titi Monkey Jan 07, 2020

Not gonna lie, there's a lot of nipple talk in this episode...we also attempt basic math and roast a patron. It's GREAT.

81: Raccoon Dec 31, 2019

Little Robber Boy. Tiny masked bandit with hands of a man. The sneaky rabid raccoon.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 17 Dec 24, 2019

Ho ho ho! Check out our special festive quick and dirty where we discuss how zookeepers spend their holidays, we toss out some last minute gift ideas, and talk about our favorite holiday traditions.

We answer:

- What do zookeepers do on holidays and days when the zoo is closed?

- What are Flora and Fauna doing for their holiday?

80: Sumatran Rhino Dec 17, 2019

Sumatran Rhinos are small, hairy, and vocal. We can relate. But let's get depressing, these things are dying, and it's all our fault.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 16 Dec 10, 2019

We answer a QND we have avoided for 10 months. Sorry Aimee, we love you tho.

We answer:

What are your opinions on circuses?
If we don't support the circus, are zoos the next to go?

Send in your thoughts if you agree/disagree! We would love to hear it. But be nice, k thanks.

79: Sea Turtle Dec 03, 2019

This week we dive into the Big Ol' Blue and learn about Sea Turtles! We talk Pokemon per usual, discuss sea turtle certified self care strategies, and debate the best way to store a corn dog.

78: Greenland Shark Nov 26, 2019

We are thankful for Old Sharks, Grim Reapers, and Pokemon. We chat about the oldest vertebrate in the world, things that live on it's eyeballs, and whether or not it can deep throat a reindeer.

77: Tree Lobster Nov 19, 2019

This week, Flora and Fauna get religious, unintentionally slip in an ad for Clif bars, and plan the next Keeper Chat meet-up. Buckle up, it's time to bug.

76: Giant Panda Nov 05, 2019

Does anyone even care?

75: Anglerfish Oct 29, 2019

Big freaky fish with a skin tag for a boyfriend. Shes a Virgo so you wouldn't understand.

74: Guinea Worm Oct 22, 2019

Nothing is funny. Everything is horrible. Children cry and ramen noodles are born.

73: Vampire Squid Oct 15, 2019

This week we get spooky and talk about a deep ocean boy. WARNING! Flora screams at 10:13 so prepare your eardrums. RIP

72: Maned Wolf Oct 08, 2019

Woooo it's October. So we picked the pumpkin spice wolf. But guess what... it only eats apples and it's not even a wolf.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 15 Oct 01, 2019

This week we're talking all about PASSION...of our jobs that is!

We answer:

What made you choose the animals you work with? Did they choose you?!
Did you get knowledge gradually through internships?
How do you get as much experience with the animal group you want to work with?

71: Cassowary Sep 24, 2019

This week, learn about a real life dinosaur! Flora and Fauna get excited about caruncles and uncover the mystery of this big bird.

70: Belgian Blue Sep 10, 2019

Ronald McDonald meets Crossfit and makes this literal beefy boy.

69: Bonobo Sep 03, 2019

Nice

68: QND14 Aug 27, 2019

You all love getting quick and dirty with us, so this week we're answering two questions.

We answer:

How do you navigate workplace relationships?
What is animal enrichment and what is your favorite!?

Sit back, relax, and listen to us scream into the void, per usual.

67: Iceworm Aug 20, 2019

Keeper Chat Fan Meetup 2021 is PLANNED. This worm is small and wormy and lives in ICE. What more do you even need to know. But actually please tune in.

66: Whale Shark Aug 13, 2019

This week we answer the eternal question, is it a whale or a shark?? Flora and Fauna have slug brain and scream about chickens. Take a big ocean sip babe!

65: Tarantula Hawk Aug 06, 2019

*This area intentionally left blank*

64: Hornbill Jul 30, 2019

Raise your hand if the Lion King traumatized you as a child. This week we dive into that fave flick and talk about the bird behind Zazu - the red billed hornbill! Hear about Flora and Fauna's sordid past, all the dumb stuff their cats do, and listen as they do some investigative journalism on air.

63: Kinkajou Jul 23, 2019

Kinkajou, I choose you! Let's talk about the honey bear, the exorcist of the forest, the stripper of the pokemon world.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 13 Jul 16, 2019

Answering more of those burning zookeeper questions that keep you up at night. ;)

We answer:

How do you deal with seasonal employment?
Any advice for interns? How can you prepare for the next step?
Any advice for moving?!
How can a green keeper stand out against those with more experience?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 12 Jul 09, 2019

We still answer listener questions, we swear! :) This week is all about guest interactions.

We answer:

- What are the funniest we've heard zoo guests say?

- Do we have any anecdotes of our top most ridiculous encounters with guests?

- What stupid questions have we been asked, have we overhead people mistake species of animals for others, and what arguments have we found ourselves in with ignorant guests.

Buckle up, and learn how to be the best zoo guest you can be!

62: Solenodon Jul 02, 2019

What do you think this episode features?

a. Celine Dion

b. Venomous mammal

c. Papa Johns

d. All of the above

Buckle up, F&F dive into some ancient internet lore. UWU

61: Porcupine Jun 25, 2019

This week we get right to the POINT, and debunk some classic myths. Learn about nature's spiky boys and what to do if confronted by a predator. Also, is anyone surprised that we devolve into Pokemon discourse once again? Probs not.

60: Kookaburra Jun 19, 2019

This week we discuss an emotional crisis, start planning a worm party, and deal with an obnoxious amount of background noise from Fauna's kitten. Oh, and we talk about these Aussie birds. Congrats on the full time job, Meghan!

59: Animal PRIDE!! Jun 12, 2019

Happy PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We chat about sexuality in animals. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Don't listen if you're a big old turd.

58: Fossa Jun 04, 2019

Fawsa. Foosa. FOUCHE. DYK Flora was a big idiot nerd child? How about that anal pouches are a thing? Or that there is a super secret special way to lick someone? No?! Then boy howdy do we have the episode for you.

57: African Painted Dog May 28, 2019

They are canids that vote! But not really a dog. Not really a wolf either. Everyone's confused. Learn about this beautiful Bob Ross beast.

56: Wolf May 21, 2019

Everybody can relate to body horror, yes? This week listen to Flora and Fauna wrap up the Game of Thrones themed episodes and vow to never do anything like this again.

55: Raven May 14, 2019

Game of Thrones week continues with a bird boy. The Raven! It's hella smart and hella cool. Edgar himself makes an appearance or two.

54: Stag May 07, 2019

Still forcing game of thrones on you. So welcome to May 2019. We do another house sigil. It's emo, it's a vampire, it's got less chromosomes than a potato.

53: Lion Apr 30, 2019

Continuing the Game of Thrones mania, this week learn all about the Lion! House Lannister chose the best sigil because lions are dope AF. Fauna is back from death and basically a white walker, and Flora is all business.

52: Komodo Dragon Apr 16, 2019

Fauna pulls a fkn Lannister. Learn about BIG DRAGON BOYS.

51: Herring Apr 11, 2019

Was it worth the wait? WAS IT WORTH THE WAIT? Guess you're just gonna have to listen to find out. Check out this week's episode where Flora and Fauna try to play a hilarious prank on the audience and it backfires on their stupid faces. #thxinternet #techsavvy

50: Praying Mantis Apr 02, 2019

Is it prayer? Is it begging? Is it offensive?

We ask BIG questions about a COOL BUG

First Annual Grime Awards Mar 24, 2019

It's our FIRST BIRTHDAY. We wanna talk about how much you love us. Also, did we mention we have big fat stacks of cash just lying around. Let's do something with that.

49: Horned Lizard Mar 19, 2019

Is it a toad? Is it on its period? Does it have sick af biceps?

Yes to like, none of that.

Is it confident in itself? Does it live on an uncrustable? Is it a Hardy Boy?

Yes to like, all of that.

48: Agouti Mar 12, 2019

Big rat with a butt toupee! Serving. Looks!

McDONALD. IF YOURE READING THIS ANSWER YOUR PHONE

Quick & Dirty Ep: 11 Mar 05, 2019

Imposter syndrome. What is it? idk? Do you have it? Maybe. We talk about feeling like your faking it til you make it. Also we have a serious discussion about whether we would let one of the new Pokemon starters lobotomize us. There's a lot to unpack here.

We answer:

- Can you talk about imposter syndrome as it relates to the zoo field?

47: Nudibranchs Feb 26, 2019

Only 90's kids will remember. Nudibranchs are the colorful boogers of the sea. And we are HERE FOR IT.

46: Orangutan Feb 19, 2019

This episode is BIG like this big ape. Hear about butt stuff, art skills, and one of Fauna's most fav animals. :)

45: American Burying Beetle Feb 12, 2019

Do you like to bury small things in the woods, vomit into your children's mouths, listen to ABBA 24/7 and leave your STD's everywhere you go? Are you an American Burying Beetle? Cause they do that.

44: Sun Bear Feb 05, 2019

They are BEARY cute, BEARY interesting, and BEARY INHUMANELY KEPT IN TINY CAGES TO HARVEST THEIR GALLBLADDERS FOR BILE. But also BEARY a man in a bear suit.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 10 Jan 29, 2019

Self CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can you do to treat yourself after a tough day at work that doesn't involve raging alcoholism? Good question.

We answer:

- Zookeeping is a very physically and emotionally difficult job, and part of taking the best care of our animals is taking care of ourselves. Beyond heavy drinking, making sure to get plenty of rest, and drinking plenty of water, what are some other good self care practices you guys find helpful?

Get zen with us.

43: Tardigrade Jan 22, 2019

The world's best astronaut is a lil mossy piglet.

42: Secretary Bird Jan 15, 2019

THE CURSE IS REAL. This episode is ......a patchwork quilt....of my nightmares. Anyway, the Secretary Bird is really cool. It is the KING of DDR and also Satan, who knew?

41: Mola Jan 08, 2019

Biggest bony fish, bisexual icon, dinner plate with a face, child-killer. MOLA

40: Gaur Jan 02, 2019

Where is the beef? It's here. This thing has all of it.

39: Beluga Whale Jan 01, 2019

Y'all know whales get us WORKED UP. This is an extra long episode and we get serious and confused and mad. But beluga's have big fat foreheads so it's okay.

38: Margay Dec 18, 2018

The cat that is like an ocelot but not. It can also rocket launch it's entire body 12 feet. Which is insane. Also, add another conspiracy to the list: slim jim's are just old hot dogs someone forgot to refrigerate.

37: Tapir Dec 13, 2018

IT'S ALF.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 9 Nov 27, 2018

Answering an amazing question from a listener! So, we always complain about the worst zoo visitors....

So we answer,

How can you be the best zoo visitor!?
What are the do's and don'ts of zoo visits

36: Hartebeest Nov 20, 2018

Hartebeest, it's like Benedict Cumberbatch on all fours.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 8 Nov 13, 2018

Wanting to become a keeper and are feeling stuck? Want some advice from two nimrods? Look no further. We don't claim to be experts on anything, but hey we have been there. Interview, resume, and overall keeper life advice.

35: Death's-Head Hawkmoth Nov 06, 2018

You didn't ask for it but here it is anyway!!!! BUGS.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 7 Oct 30, 2018

We answer not one BUT TWO user submitted questions. Sorta. We kind of aren't qualified to answer one of them. Anyway, have you ever wanted to hear about poop? Cause boy do we have the ep for you.

34: Goblin Shark Oct 23, 2018

It's creepy shark time! Who doesn't love some protrusible jaws??!!

33: Vampire Bat Oct 16, 2018

The spook continues with those other flying things - vampire bats. They slurp blood, fine, that's cool. They fly, dope. They RUN!??? Bruh, that's terrifying.

32: Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko Oct 09, 2018

It's Spooktober. Let's talk about spooky animals - starting with the Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko. It's satanic in appearance only, while we are satanic in all ways.

31: Desert Tortoise Oct 02, 2018

D. TORT. Bowser jr sux. Desert Tortoise are cool - and ready for the apocolypse.

30: Cuttlefish Sep 25, 2018

Chameleon of the sea. Or are chameleons cuttlefish of the land? In any case cuttlefish are insanely smart and whose to say they aren't just stealing our credit scores as we speak?

29: Okapi Sep 18, 2018

Okapi! Is it real? Is it a sweater your grandma knitted you? Is butt a potty word? Do we go on like 5 seperate tangents that don't have anything to do with anything? The answers will surprise you....

Quick & Dirty Ep: 6 Sep 17, 2018

A QND about Current Events. But uploaded a week after the events were current. Okay, so sue me. We talk extinction, poaching, and murder-for-hire. It's a wild one.

28: Hyena Sep 11, 2018

The patrons have spoken! Pseudo-Penis ahoy. Get ready for a hyena...and human biology lesson.

27: Zoo pt. 2 Sep 04, 2018

Part 2 of our Zoo special.

26: Zoo pt.1 Sep 04, 2018

We went for it. Why do Zebra when you can do ZOO! Ever wonder how to respond to people who are anti-zoo? Who think animals 'look' sad and haven't read a book since 1910? Well listen up! We tell you how. This is Part 1 of 2.

25: Yapok Aug 28, 2018

WE ARE SO CLOSE TO THE END. Here's a cryptid - the yapok. Seriously, had anyone ever heard of this thing before?

24: Xerus Aug 21, 2018

Seriously? X? >:(

Xerus - it's a squirrel. Patreon - it's happening.

23: Walrus Aug 07, 2018

It took 23 episodes, but we made it, BACULUM. We talk about BONES in GENITALS. Walrus life. I thought they were horrible but they aren't!

22: Vulture Jul 31, 2018

They eat poop, they barf, and they're bald, what's not to love?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 5 Jul 26, 2018

*WARNING* To our animal care friends - we talk recent Audubon Zoo events and Harambe. We were asked from a non-zoo industry listener about our thoughts. Here's a hint - we get really angry - and it's not directed at the zoos. We talk insensitivity, how much people suck, and why the annual purge maybe isn't so bad. We also ask a listener's Would You Rather, and give a few shout-outs to some rad fans.

21: Urchin Jul 24, 2018

I promise it's an actual animal. It has a mouth AND a butt. And almost nothing else. Meet Satan's pokemon, the urchin.

20: Tamandua Jul 17, 2018

Who's our Blue Collar Boy? Our Middle Class Man? The tamandua of course, a tube with legs.

19: Saola Jul 10, 2018

Talking about the Asian Unicorn before it goes extinct. Also it's Plastic Free July! Hellz yeah!

18: Red Panda Jul 03, 2018

It's Giveaway time! Stick to the end to hear if you are the lucky/unlucky winner of the Keeper Chat Nightmare Prize Pack. In the meantime check out some red panda facts. Fact 1: they cute.

17: Quokka Jun 26, 2018

You asked for it, you got it. But tbh I didn't have much to choose from. Quokka the "happiest animal on earth" if you anthropomorphize animals by their face. Or just a big rat if you don't do that.

16: Poison Dart Frog Jun 20, 2018

We're talking nature's tide pods, baby! The poison dart frog, he smol, he slime, he POISON.

15: Oxpecker Jun 12, 2018

Learn very little about a little birdy. Learn a bit more about Flora's complete lack of ability in communicating with live humans.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 4 Jun 08, 2018

Flora goes BAD cop, Fauna saves the day as GOOD cop. We answer a question from a listener: Any advice for interns?

14: Narwhal Jun 05, 2018

Cocktail-weenie with a toothpick in it. Sea sausage. Tube boy. Unicorn. That's right, it's Narwhal time.

13: Moray Eel May 29, 2018

Get ready to have your podcast pants blown off. Moray Eel are the Party City of the ocean.

12: Loris May 22, 2018

Fauna teaches about the loris which is VENOMOUS. I'm screaming, thats wild.

Quick & Dirty Ep: 3 May 17, 2018

We answer listener submitted questions. How do Flora & Fauna like being zookeepers? Is it a good job? Is it what you thought it would be when you first started looking into zookeeping? What degrees do you both have?

More importantly, would you rather be stung by an irukandji on your foot or have a falcon stoop into the back of your head?

11: Kiwi May 15, 2018

We dedicate another episode to New Zealand, cause why not. Let's try to save the world, one weird mammal bird at a time.

We chat bird things like: Where are Kiwi found? What is the main predator of the kiwi. Is it really a bird, why are the feathers weird? How big are kiwi eggs and what if we had a human baby of that same proportion? Do kiwi use a sense of smell or vision?

10: Jackal May 08, 2018

Fauna teaches us about jackals. They eat literal actual garbage. We definitely don't talk about Monster's High for like 10 minutes.

We talk about things like: What's the difference between a jackal and a coyote? Where do wolves fit into this? Is the jackal smol and cute. How do jackal feed their young? And what do jackals even eat?

9: Irukandji May 01, 2018

It's jellyfish time. Prepare to have your mind blown. Also hear about the jelly hit that is out on Flora's life.

We answer jelly questions like: How many eyes does a jellyfish have? How many butts does a jellyfish have? How fast can the irukandji swim? Do jellyfish hunt fish? What are the symptoms of a jellyfish sting?

8: Horses Apr 24, 2018

We discuss horses and some things that are definitely not horses. Flora learns she pronounces every word incorrectly.

We answer questions like: How do you pronounce Przewalski's horse? What have zoos done to help animals from going extinct? What are the best horses in media? How many chromosomes does a horse have?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 2 Apr 19, 2018

We talk about where we get the facts for the show, our newest "sponsor" and answer a "Would you rather" from a fan.

7: Gharial Apr 17, 2018

G is for gharial and giveaway. If you entered...you'll want to stay tuned until the end. We chat about this reptile with a weird face! Hey, he probably thinks our faces are weird too.

We answer stuff like: How many gharial are left in the wild? What is that weird thing on the tip of a gharial's snout? Should I be concerned about being eaten by a gharial? Do they carry their babies in their mouth? How much jewelry is too much jewelry? Is 30 minutes a short or long time to copulate?

6: Falcon Apr 10, 2018

This week, we pull back the curtain and EXPOSE the hidden secrets of the Falcon, and answer questions like: What is a bird of prey? Are falcons the Grim Reaper? What the heck is a stoop? Where'd they buy those styling pantaloons? WHY ARE THEY SO FAST? Are birds the only animals that can fly? (Spoiler: lol no) and Why do their sideburns look so good?

Get ready to have your pants blown right off in the wake of this radical bird!

Quick & Dirty Ep:1 Apr 07, 2018

First Quick & Dirty episode! Ask questions, we answer! David asks us if zookeeping is real life. Both Flora and Fauna have annoying pet noises in the background. Everyone loves it.

We answer David's Q and things like: Is zookeeping a job I can fall back on, or is it something you need a lot of experience to get? Is zookeeping for me? How can I get started in the zookeeping field? Do zookeepers live in khaki 24/7?

5: Earwig Apr 03, 2018

We finally upgrade our mic game in this one! Bless. This one is about gross bugs and.. surprisingly... a lot of romance too.

4: Dolphin Mar 30, 2018

Ready to learn about this slippery tube? This week we dive into the ocean and learn about the dolphin! We answer questions like: what the heck is a baleen? How smart are dolphins? Why do they masturbate with dead fish? What is a vaquita? Why is Blackfish a rotting dumpster fire of misinformation? And what can we do to help our oceans?

Also, remember when we thought only dolphins and primates passed the mirror test? Aww what naive little babies we were.

3: Cheetah Mar 26, 2018

Let’s talk Cheetahs. Cheetahs can see through all space time - past and present, this is confirmed. They are slendermen and they hold a special place in Flora & Fauna’s heart. We answer questions like: Are cheetahs big cats? What’s the difference between leopard and cheetah print? Would a cheetah dress as a honey badger for Halloween? Would a cheetah win in a fight? Can a cheetah purr or roar? Are cheetah dumber than a box of rocks?

2: Boa Constrictor Mar 25, 2018

Welcome to the second letter of the internet and our rebrand as Keeper Chat! While we continue to find our stride in this episode, feel free to check out later episodes of Keeper Chat to see how far we've come!

In this episode, we discuss the Boa constrictor - a long strong boy native to South America. We answer burning questions like: What is a hemipenis and is it truly the mullet of penises? What is the difference between venomous and poisonous snakes? What that vomeronasal organ do? What daily sacrifices to dignity to zookeepers make for the betterment of all? And we find out the origin of our ripped pants saga. Join us to learn more!

1: Aardvark Mar 22, 2018

Hey and welcome to our pilot episode of our podcast! This was our first attempt and it's a little rough around the edges! Feel free to check out later episodes for a good idea of what Keeper Chat really is!

In this episode we chat about the aardvark. This bald looking baby is native to Africa. We answer burning questions like: How many adult men can fit into an aardvark burrow? Who eats aardvark cucumbers? How good is an aardvarks sense of smell? Why isn't Arthur anatomically correct? Is it because it would haunt us?

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