Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Latest Episodes:

Eps 264: Michelle Icard Shares about the Crucial Conversations to Have With Our Middle Schoolers Mar 08, 2021

Show notes

My guest today is Michelle Icard.

Michelle is a member of the Today show parenting team and NBC News Learn. The author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen and Middle School Makeover, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People.

Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athena's Path and Hero's Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the U.S., and her summer camp curriculum is offered at more than twenty camps each summer. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Takeaways from the show:

Being the leader and designer of your life
Michelle’s new book: 14 talks by age Fourteen
How lots of little conversations are more helpful than one big conversation
BRIEF acronym
Conversation crashers
Be specific with your kids
Isolation is a part of exploring independence
Sitting inside of having tough conversations with your child
Having trust in your kids that they will learn from their mistakes
Having a neutral expression while talking to your kids

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 263: Solo Show- Belief Behind Behavior Deep Dive Part 1 Mar 01, 2021

Show notes

This week’s episode is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show:

Perception matters
The goal of behavior is to find and feel a sense of belonging and significance
Iceberg metaphor
Mistaken goals: Undue attention
Connection vs. attention
Tune into how your kid’s behavior makes you feel
Parents contribute to beliefs kids have about connection
The coded message behind annoying behavior is notice me and involve me usefully
Redirect by involving your kids in a useful task
Say what you will do
Avoid special services
Plan 1 on 1 time with your kids
Involve your kids in creating routines

Eps 261 | Downloadable Mistaken Goal Chart

See you next week!! :)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 262: Supporting Our Teen's Pathway to Higher Education with Dr. Pamela Ellis Feb 22, 2021

Show notes

My guest today is Pamela Ellis.

In her more than 20 years working in education research and as a financial executive in the private sector, Pamela Ellis—The Education Doctor® has emerged as a leading authority on what it takes for students to thrive in education and, thereby, in life.

Her work supports parents find the school where their children can thrive—the one that feels like home.

Takeaways from the show

Struggles parents are going through with supporting kids for college
Myths about getting into college
ACT and SAT myths
Looking for a college that fits with you
How soon parents of college bound kids should be making moves for their future
Benefits of taking a gap year
Breaking down what to think about as your kids move through each year of high school
Reading for pleasure
Understanding scholarships

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 261: Solo Show- Getting Curious About the Belief Behind Behaviors Feb 15, 2021

Show notes

This week’s podcast is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show:

Concepts and theories of Positive Discipline
Belief behind behavior
Iceberg metaphor
Positive discipline 101
Behaviorist vs. Positive Discipline
The concept of belonging and significance
School drama
You must start with self reflection if you want to create lasting change
Pay attention to how it feels when school drama comes up with your child
The first reason for our kids to misbehave is that they desire attention and connection
If kids don’t get the connection, they move on to seeking power

Eps 259 | Alison Smith interview

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 260: Nurturing a Growth Mindset with Alexandra Eidens Feb 08, 2021

Show notes

My guest today is Alexandra Eidens.

Alexandra is the founder of Big Life Journal, a growth mindset company for children and teens. Alexandra’s company specializes in creating practical tools to help parents and teachers integrate growth mindset into their everyday lives.

Their guided journals are now used by over 500,000 children world wide. When not creating journals, Alexandra is reading the latest research on brain science and the mind-body connection.

Takeaways from the show:

The foundations of Big Life Journal
Nurturing a growth mindset
Personal development in parenting
Growth vs. fixed mindset
Model the human experience to your children
Be process oriented vs. outcome oriented
Teach your children to set learning goals
Rejection is an indication that you are putting yourself out there
How to deliver feedback to your child
Make a habit of learning new things
Embrace struggle and adversity
Compare yourself to yourself only
Engage in deliberate practice
Comfort vs. stretch zone
Model being vulnerable in your own experiences
The best thing you can do as a parent is love your kids unconditionally

Where to find Alexandra:

Ebook | Big Life Journal | FaceBook

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 259: Solo Show- Exploring "Is This Positive Discipline?" Feb 01, 2021

Show notes

Today’s podcast is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show

Teen Counseling
The 5 Criteria of Positive Discipline
Questions to ask yourself to see if the response your giving in a situation meets the criteria for Positive Discipline
Come into it expecting your kids to follow through
Your kids behavior lets you know what kind of experience they’re having
Invite your kids into more expression of what’s going on for them
Most of our mischief comes from the perception that we don’t feel like we matter
Everyone has their own unique lenses they see out of
Whatever we do, we want our kids to feel more connected, seen, and like they matter
Trust the process
Our kids learn through experience over time
Celebrate mistakes, focus on solutions
Model your own self-regulation
Help your children discover how capable they are
Recognize this isn’t a formula or a gimmick
Healthy human beings are expressive

Resources mentioned:

Jane Nelsen Positive Discipline Website

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 258: Teasing Apart Emotional Labor with Gemma Hartley Jan 25, 2021

Show notes

My guest today is Gemma Hartley.

Gemma is a freelance journalist and the author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward. She’s a mom of 3 kids, 5, 7 and 10

Takeaways from the show:

Gemma’s journey of being a writer
The article that started her career
Not wanting to ask your family to do something, just wanting them to know to do it
Teasing apart emotional labor
The pressure that lays on moms’ shoulders
What are shared standards
Acknowledge your standards exist for a reason
Holding resentment when your significant other feels like they should get praise for things you do on a daily basis
Being in conversation with our family in a way that supports everyone
Make it normal to talk about emotional labor
Vulnerability with your partner is scary but necessary
When going into emotional labor conversations, be clear on your intentions
The process of re-evaluating the life you share should include everyone being involved
Tools that help make everyone feel supported in emotional labor
Asking your kids to “help” you with household chores implies it is your job, which it isn’t
Recognize the subtle messaging you’re giving your kids

Where to find Gemma:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 257: Solo Show- Opening Up to Your Resistance Jan 18, 2021

Show notes

This week’s episode is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show

Birth story of my first child
How resistance and tension can affect your relationship with your kids
Recognizing your own resistance will open up a deep personal inquiry
Your teen has their own experience and mistakes to make on their path of life
Journal about resistance
Broaden your relationships by looking into yourself to where you hold resistance
Your teens emotional development is still in the process even if they look like full-grown humans
Parenting for a Brave New World Summit

Click here to listen to the interview with my daughter Rowan

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eps 256: Untigering Our Parenting with Iris Chen Jan 11, 2021

Show notes

This week my guest is Iris Chen.

Iris is a writer, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After starting out as a hardcore tiger mother, she began to untiger when she saw all the negative effects of her authoritarian parenting. Now she’s on a mission to empower others families by promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and educational freedom for children. She recently moved back to California with her husband and two sons after 16 years of living in China.

Takeaways from the show

Tiger parenting and its cultural meaning
Iris’ experience growing up and how that played into her parenting
How patterns of how you were parented can show up into the subconscious
Shifting to a different way of parenting
Doing the inner work so your relationships with your kids can improve
Holding space for your emotions
Learning to filter assumptions about children and parenting through a lens of love and respect and anti-oppression
The swing from demanding parenting to permissive parenting
Leaning into trust and connection
Having a positive way to manage dysregulation
Taking apart the baggage around making mistakes in parenting
Making mistakes is an opportunity to model ownership, responsibility and humility
Holding mutual respect in the relationships with your children
Bringing awareness to the fact that children are worthy of honor and dignity and certain rights