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    Arts

    Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

    Because It’s About Time Someone Did

    Advertise
    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify
    Latest Episodes:
    HAWK TALK – What A Long, Strange Hawk It’s Been Dec 06, 2021
    Show notes

    This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.

    354 – The Touch of Magneto Nov 29, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.

    X-PLAINED:

    • The Golden Archer
    • Wolverine #104-105
    • Generation X #18-19
    • Portions of Elektra’s deal
    • Stick
    • Wolverine’s nose
    • Gateway and Onslaught
    • Several flashbacks
    • The Onslaught goblin
    • Retcons and character accountability
    • A wet open
    • A somewhat atypical plane flight
    • Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
    • The mysterious DL
    • Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
    • Cooking with Emma Frost
    • Quasi-benevolent mind control
    • Surgeon
    • A bonus Shadowcat power
    • Digital invisibility

    NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

    NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!

    Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    353 – Scientists and Superheroes Nov 22, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

    X-PLAINED:

    • The Red Ghost
    • Onslaught thus far
    • X-Factor #126
    • Fantastic Four #416
    • X-Men Unlimited #12
    • Random’s origins (kind of)
    • Pinochle
    • Kristoff Vernard
    • Several villains
    • Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
    • Gomurr the Ancient (again)
    • Spite
    • Unreliable narrators
    • The evolution of Cyttorak
    • Wolverine’s hair
    • X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

    NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

    CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

    Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    HAWK TALK – Bugs Nov 14, 2021
    Show notes

    This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)!

    As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face

    352 – Onslog Nov 08, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

    X-PLAINED:

    • The Phoenix Five
    • Onslaught thus far
    • The Incredible Hulk #445
    • Invincible Iron Man #332
    • Avengers #402
    • Pea Soup Hulk
    • Falcon’s late cousin Jim
    • The word “ebon”
    • Tunneling logistics
    • An uncomfortable lesson
    • Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
    • Fancy hats
    • Science Made Stupid
    • Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
    • Sneaking
    • Onslaught’s best epithet
    • The sound of heroism
    • Thor’s “shirt”
    • Headgear

    NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

    Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    351 – His Mighty Hand Nov 01, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

    X-PLAINED:

    • Red Onslaught
    • Onslaught Phase 1
    • Uncanny X-Men #336
    • Cable #35
    • X-Man #19
    • X-Force #58
    • A large number of team-ups
    • Onslaught, but make it a seder
    • Watcher undercarriage
    • Onslaught’s second form
    • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
    • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
    • A trap
    • Several flashbacks and fantasies
    • Symbolic roles within X-Force
    • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
    • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

    NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

    Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    350 – The Xavier Protocols Oct 25, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
    Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!
    And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

    In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

    X-PLAINED:

    • Excalibur #100
    • Fantastic Four #415
    • X-Factor #125
    • X-Men #55
    • Onslaught (more) (again)
    • The Xavier Protocols
    • The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
    • The Xavier Protocols
    • An extremely poor file-retrieval system
    • Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
    • Li’l Charlie
    • A circus, kind of
    • Lang disambiguation
    • Onslaught’s new look
    • Onslaught vs. several Avengers
    • An unlicensed rug
    • The only thing Bill Watterson loves
    • Metaphorical Turkish delight
    • The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
    • Dark Descendents
    • Hairy guns
    • Caps for Sale
    • A really big fight
    • A very dramatic EMP
    • Why Onslaught looks like that

    NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!

    “Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.

    CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.

    Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    HAWK TALK – Sitcoms Oct 18, 2021
    Show notes

    This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

    349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers Oct 11, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

    X-PLAINED

    • Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
    • Cable #34
    • Incredible Hulk #444
    • X-Man #18
    • X-Force #57
    • Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
    • Ozymandias (more) (again)
    • Post (more) (again)
    • Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
    • Several Hulks
    • Behemoth
    • Cable/Storm
    • The Betty Conspiracy
    • Rocks that yell
    • Alpacalypse
    • Multiversal disambiguation
    • Some unlikely sound effects
    • An anti-Sinister failsafe
    • A self-destruct system
    • Warpath and Risque
    • A hug
    • A very specific Sentinel
    • Coming out in adulthood

    NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

    NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

    Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

    348 – Onslaught Continues Oct 04, 2021
    Show notes
    Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

    In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot.

    X-PLAINED:

    • Teenage Iron Man
    • Onslaught thus far
    • What Onslaught wants
    • Uncanny X-Men #335
    • X-Men Unlimited #11
    • Avengers #401
    • The rebirth of Apocalypse
    • The Apocalocophagous
    • The Age of Wonders
    • X-Man vs. Professor X
    • Nate Grey-sitting
    • Humanity’s Last Stand
    • Simon Trask
    • Bastion
    • Rogue and Joseph
    • Avengers fashion
    • Assumptions
    • Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style
    • Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator

    NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught.

    Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

    Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

    Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

    Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

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