512 – You Can Get Anything You Want at Stryfe’s Restaurant
Jan 19, 2026
In which it’s rude to eat in a helmet; Cable does his best villain bit; Bishop is clearly unfamiliar with early X-Force; we’re pretty sure clones still count as people; and Stryfe is the surprise MVP of Gambit & Bishop: Sons of the Atom.
X-PLAINED:
Another time Stryfe and Bishop teamed up
Gambit & Bishop: Sons of the Atom #3-6
Some of the Witness’s fancy swag
An extremely awkward meal
Stryfe in four pages
Unsubtle foreshadowing
The relative ethics of killing Stryfe
A visual representation of time
Somewhat logical consequences
Bad clone ethics
Future uncertainty
Le Bête Noir
Hell-lord / anti-Phoenix disambiguation
A fancy t-shirt
The appropriate amount of mean to be to Stryfe
When Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom takes place relative to The Search for Cyclops (more) (again) (inconclusive)
Reasons not to live under a crypt in New Orleans
Betty Noir’s
Relative (fictional) body counts
Business-casual Stryfe
Lucas Bishop, kitten guy
Relitigating the X-traitor
NEXT EPISODE: Eve of Destruction (and some bonus Summers family bullshit)
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In which we unapologetically ship Gambit and Bishop; pelicans are deeply alarming birds; Charles Xavier watches your sex dreams; the Witness is a Whole Continuity Thing; and the T’ieves Guild is really just here to steal your stuff.
X-PLAINED:
Destiny’s frequently retconned diaries
Midi series
Gambit (more) (again)
Bishop (more) (again)
Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom Alpha
Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom #1-2
When Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom takes place relative to The Search for Cyclops
Some things pelicans get up to
An upsetting dream
Ethics of telepathy (more) (again)
Night science
Some of what Stryfe has been up to
French nouns
A theoretical Orphan Black video game
The Witness (LeBeau) (more) (again)
The Witness Cave
How to make Bishop a more central X-character
The relative importance of T’ieves Guild continuity
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe in a diner!
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510 – Giant-Size Special #14 (feat. Alex Paknadel)
Jan 05, 2026
In which we attempt an all-Cyclops Winter special; X-Men are bad at processing grief; writer Alex Paknadel X-Plains his upcoming Cyclops miniseries; every character (except Cameron Hodge) is someone’s favorite; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Clones of Cyclops
Gwen Warren
Our year in review
X-Men: The Search for Cyclops #1-4
Ahmed and his mustache
Emotional support boats
A monkey
Apoca-lips
Anias
Boxes of fire
One way of coping with trauma
Ozymandias (more) (again)
The relative criminality of a trail of questions
Cat lady problems
Twice as many cat ladies named Anias as you’d expect
Terrible logic
Caliban (more) (again)
Several unpleasant reunions
Alex Paknadel’s definitive Cyclopses
Fun with minor characters
Proxy characters and “highly polished surfaces”
Characters to revisit
Sentinels
Cyclops vs. his own powers
Cyclops’s powers vs. continuity
Who Scott Summers is when he’s alone
The punch dimension
The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Bishop: Now Kiss Sons of the Atom
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In which Marrow just want to be left alone; Spider-Man remains hapless; S.H.I.E.L.D. is unhelpful; Colossus dies; Shadowcat leaves the X-Men; and we are all on board for Mutants to Watch Out For.
X-PLAINED:
How Magik caught the Legacy Virus
Marrow (again)
Spider-Man and Marrow #1
Uncanny X-Men #390
X-Men #110
A fancy club
A terrible plan
The Legacy Virus (more) (again)
Some deeply contrived “science”
A life-affirming display of social interaction
The death of Colossus
A very silly sound effect
Acceptable handwriting
Nostalgia
A double send-off
Closure
Mortality in Otherworld
Imaginary crossovers
NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which there are a lot of explosions in X-Force; Great Britain-616 is to intelligence as Canada-616 is to military; Alastair Stuart used to be fun; Emma Frost is here to stomp on your dreams; Chamber joins the X-Men; and the Generation X kids graduate themselves.
X-PLAINED:
Revolution (again)
Counter-X (again)
X-Force #114-115
Generation X #75
Yet another origin of humanity and/or life on Earth (again)
The World Engine
Accurate representation of CD-Rs
Genetech
A swimsuit interlude
Agent Corben
Alastair Stuart (more) (again)
A kidnapping
A really amazingly terrible plan
A particularly large explosion
The remaining 14 issues of X-Force vol. 1
An interlude at Applebee’s
Bad times at the New Xavier School
A murder (more) (again)
Intersectional superheroism
An additional bonus murder
An invitation
Many goodbyes
What happens next to the Generation X kids
NEXT EPISODE: The end of Revolution
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506 – The House at the End of the World
Nov 17, 2025
In which Jay remains angry at a font; a person who is obviously Kang the Conqueror is not in fact Kang the Conqueror; the pig men deserve better; and Nightcrawler should never, ever, ever be allowed to attempt grief counseling.
X-PLAINED:
Storm/Cable
Cable #85-86, 88
Cable (more)(again)
Earth-4935
Mother Askani
Irene Merryweather
Several cryptic witches
Are you as dangerous as you think martial arts training for advanced students
Shin
An unlikely sound effect
The Black Dawn
A time catapult
An End of Time
Earth-805110
The House on the Borderline
Gaunt
One of Esad Ribic’s more entertaining accomplishments
A fight
One way to weaponize the T-O virus
The future past of Rachel Summers
Cable’s friendship with Moira MacTaggert
Streets of Fire
Grief counseling? Sort of? I guess?
A very impressive spear
Our muppet counterparts
NEXT EPISODE: Two endings!
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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.
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In which Banshee is chronically hapless; the team gets new costumes (again); Chamber is a self-fulfilling prophecy; toddlers will sell you out in a hot minute; Moira MacTaggert is definitively not in; we are frustrated by excessive ambiguity; and it’s not Rashômon, but it’ll do.
X-PLAINED:
Banshee post-Generation X
Generation X #71-74
Interior decorating
New costumes (again)
Chamber, but a housecat
A meet-cute
Teen angst
Fashion
An extremely awkward conversation
A brief history of boba in the United States
A fracas
Fun things to do with extra skin
Evolving teacher-student relationships
Poor interrogation technique
Husk vs. international terrorism, in general
Ghosts of the Massachusetts Academy
Villains and heroes we think would be neat as the reverse
A world in which Peridot of Steven Universe imprinted on X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Fast times in Otherworld!
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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.
X-PLAINED:
Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
A dubious plan
Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
A significant disclaimer
Uncanny X-Men #388
Cable #87
Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
X-Men #108
A surprise presidential platform
Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
The new Brotherhood of Mutants
Cable’s hair
A lot of movie allusions
An ambiguous explosion
A deeply pointless retcon
An illusion
Cable’s psimitar
Pyro’s last stand
Dickalogue
Astral sex
The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
How to identify a time traveler
The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
Froggy World
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!
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502 – Milkshakes of Despair (Maximum Security, Part 2 of 2)
Oct 13, 2025
In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.
X-PLAINED:
The New Son
The First Half of Maximum Security
Gambit #23
X-Men #107
X-Men Unlimited #29
Maximum Security #3 (briefly)
Several of Gambit’s buddies
How to dress for… stealth? I guess?
Heth’sa of the planet Culth
Where Carl the X-Cutioner got his silly outfit
A heist
How to restore your lost honor without messing up the timeline
12-18 milkshakes
What Colossus is into these days
Vampire clowns (maybe)
Z’Cann
The Blood Brothers
Vibes memories
A big fight
A touching moment of touching
Mechamage, briefly
Quasar, superficially
Cadre K
The Skrull cows
Writing for the trade vs. podcast pacing
Limits of power-cancelling accessories
NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s Rather Anticlimactic End!
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501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)
Oct 06, 2025
In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.
X-PLAINED:
The fate of the D’Bari
Maximum Security: Dangerous Planet
Maximum Security #1
Uncanny X-Men #387
Iron Man #35
Bishop the Last X-Man #15
Voting in space
A bad plan
U.S. Agent (John Walker)
A peculiar marketplace
A dangerous hat
Starhammer
Space romance problems
Breaking into Earth
Max Power
Magic dirt
Littletown, Nebraska
An extremely upsetting baby
A very impressive crash landing
What Bishop’s been up to
Human X-characters we’d like to see more of
Some kid named Michael
Trading cards we’d like
NEXT EPISODE: Maximum Security concludes!
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In which we meet some delightful monsters; Cannonball is a man who knows how to wear overalls; Domino is the Leslie Knope of X-Force; red liquid babies deserve love, too; and not all British authors know each other.
X-PLAINED:
A murder
X-Force #110-113
Peak butts
Domestic bliss
Misplaced guilt
Several monsters
Comics Codium
Warborgs and/or Rawborgs
Poison problems
Additional monsters
SHIELD business
Large guns
Still more monsters
How monsters interact with the Bechdel Test
Cuckoo
Prescribed narcotics
Life Model Decoys (more) (again)
X-major arcana
NEXT EPISODE: Apparently we’ve made 500 of these?
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In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.
X-PLAINED:
The Stranger
X-Men Forever #4-6
Prosh (more) (again)
The story so far
Astra (again)
The Black Womb Project
Toad’s secret origins, possibly
Fashion
Hazard
Amanda Mueller (a bit)
Anguirus
The end of human civilization
Foreshadowing
A dramatic reveal
Several makeovers
Darth Toad
Fighting arenas / community theaters
NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!
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In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.
X-PLAINED:
The Black Womb Project
X-Men Forever #1-3
Prosh
Several custom-grown people
A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
Cataclysm keys
The assassination of Graydon Creed
Several poignant reunions
The cosmic construction worker (Death)
Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
How much continuity is too much continuity
Pyro’s romance novels
NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!
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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.
X-PLAINED:
Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
X-Men #103-104
Uncanny X-Men #384-385
A crossover
Tessa (somewhat)
A test
The Goth (group)
Skulls
The Crimson Pirates
The mind of Tullamore Voge
Something “rough trade” does not mean
Visual representation of telepathy
Kymri (again)
The Goth (individual)
Skycycles
A ruse
How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
What happened to the Massachusetts Academy
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever
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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.
X-PLAINED:
Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop
NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.
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In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.
X-PLAINED:
The fate of Sara Grey
Revolution Claremont X-book disambiguation
Uncanny X-Men #381-383
The Neo (again)
An unmarked anniversary
A secret treasure trove
Vagaries of telekinesis and telepathy
The Shockwave Riders
Brain sharks that eat memories
The stuff of legend
The Lost Souls
Dirges and non-dirges
One way to start a conversation
Simyon Kurasov
Colonel Alexi Vazhin (again)
The Slash
How to dress to go clubbing
Blinkers, somewhat
Ransom Sole
Big Casino
Sketch
Revenant
Major Debra Levin
Bludgeon, Cudgel, and Manacle
Houndification
The best 21st century X-characters
NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men movie turns 25!
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In which we record live from the Library of Congress; time travel complicates everything; X-Men is a fundamentally queer narrative; we attempt to summarize a lot of history very fast; and when identities are politicized, claiming them becomes a political act.
X-PLAINED:
LC-GLOBE
The first openly queer X-Man
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Why we do what we do
Why the X-Men are worth studying
Returning nuance to critical discussion of media
A brief(ish) history of X-Men and queerness in X-Men
Iceman Watch
Retroactive foreshadowing
The mutant metaphor
Found family
Subtext
Text
Facets of mutant activism
Coming-out stories
Various vectors of diversity
Some comics Jay wrote
Comics in libraries
Where to start with Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
X-Men for horror fans
Our favorite X-Men lineups
Identity politics
The T-O virus vs. the Legacy Virus
NEXT EPISODE: Brain Sharks!
This episode doesn’t exactly have a traditional visual companion, but you can click through the entire slide deck from the live show–and find links to the essays we mentioned–on our blog.
Jay has some additional thoughts on identity politics, which you can read here.
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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.
X-PLAINED:
The Evolutionaries
X-Men #100-102
The current X-Men rosters
Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
Claremont vs. continuity
Dove crimes
The Neo
Domina
Jaeger
Rax
Fancy space suits
What to do with someone else’s bone claws
Some guy named Seth
The High Evolutionary’s love nest
A Phoenix-saga callback
Rave
Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
Salvo the Living Gun
How to keep track of X-Men
Time travel problems
X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!
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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.
X-PLAINED:
The value of Pete Wisdom
X-Force #102-105
Revolution (more) (again)
Counter X (more) (again)
Flight
Elf stuff
Alastair Stuart (again)
The eyepatch of love
Science City 53
Meatspore stormtroopers
Project Cuckoo
Dr. Niles Roman
Tactics vs. Strategy
Monster problems
The Violence Machine
The apparent death of Pete Wisdom
What a good X-Force HQ needs
The most X-treme possible lineup
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!
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Join us for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men: presented by LC-GLOBE, the LGBTQ+ organization of employees of the Library of Congress!
When: 6:00 PM on Friday 06/06/25
Where:The Mumford Room (LM-649) in the James Madison Building of the Library of Congress in Washington, DC
If you’d like to join the staff in attending, you’d be very welcome – to reserve seats, please email us so we can get a headcount and make sure you’re on the list. Hope to see you there!
488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)
May 26, 2025
In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.
X-PLAINED:
The aftermath of Mutant X
Mutant X #19-32
Mutant X Annual 2001
The story so far
Character color coding
Some telepathic misdirection
Apocalypse of Earth-1298
Charles Xavier of Earth-1298
Professor X’s Juggernaut-fightin’ mullet
A whole lot of possession
Fake Galactus
Several fears
X-Man of Earth-1298
Child batteries
The worst place for a portal to the Negative Zone
How Hank McCoy became the Brute
Vampire problems
The Marauders of Earth-1298
The Outcasts of Earth-1298
Cloak & Dagger of Earth-1298
James Hudson of Earth-1298
The Avengers of Earth-1298
The Beyonder of Earth-1298 who is also kind of the Goblin Force
Several additional superheroes
A last stand
The appeal of alternate timelines
Earth-1298’s best glow-ups
NEXT EPISODE: Attack of the Meatspore Stormtroopers!
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487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)
May 19, 2025
In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.
X-PLAINED:
Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
What’s happened so far
Mutant X #9-18
Mutant X Annual 2000
The Morlocks of Earth-1298
The Mole Man of Earth-1298
The Yancy Street Underground
Magneto of Earth-1298
Superhero costume color theory
Polaris of Earth-1298
The X-Men of Earth-1298
Magneto
Polaris
Nightcrawler
Rogue
Mystique
Quicksilver
The Goblin Entity
Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
Namor of Earth-1298
The origin of Bloodstorm
Dracula’s fellas
The Starjammers of Earth-1298
Cyclops
Binary
Nova
Lockheed
Silver Surfer
Space alien problems
A fairly literal deus ex machina
Captain America of Earth-1298
A terrible idea
The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
Gambit of Earth-1298
Raven LeBeau
The origin of Vampire Gambit
Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
Jean Grey of Earth-1298
Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
Where to put X-logos on a costume
NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!
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In which we go back to the future of Generation X; Jay once again gets pedantic about lettering; Generation X takes on the carceral state; we take a deep dive into the late ‘90s; Jubilee does her best Nick Fury; and superpowers should be noisier.
X-PLAINED:
Earth-14042
Marvel Disk Wars: The Avengers
Generation X #63-66
Revolution and Counter X (more) (again)
An evil Oyster
Warden Coffin
The Decency Defecit
Some shit we wish was fictional
Underpants
Souped up powers
Newsgroups
The Columbine school shooting
The Grid
Cable vs. ISDN Internet
Jonathan Somers
Generation X’s new costumes
The House of Correction
Hacking
Trophies
Baxter
‘90s X-Men outside of comics
How superpowers sound
NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May begins!
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In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.
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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.
X-PLAINED:
Some big news
X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
Implied continuity
The N’Garai
Belasco
Limbo
Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
New costumes
Priests vs blood magic
An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
Chekhov’s skeleton
Body swaps and/or possession
Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
Astral meetups
Confusing bloodstone math
A Triple-Tech
Magik (Amanda Sefton)
Counting X-generations
Our favorite X-decades
NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!
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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.
X-PLAINED:
Nasty Boys disambiguation
X-Force #106-109
Counter X (more) (again)
Shockwave (more) (again)
Turn-of-the-millennium cool
X-Force (more) (again)
How to dress for funerals, I guess?
How Pete Wisdom smells
Romany Wisdom (again)
Marcus Tsung
Mind bullets
Nightman
Our first audience challenge in a really long time
A bad nickname
X-Force’s new looks
A thing growing out of Domino’s back
Several enigmas shrouded in mystery
The worst birthday party
Abel, Baker, and Charlie
Fish
The Factory
Telepathic “voices”
The miracle of magnetism
NEXT EPISODE: The return of Chris Claremont!
LISTENERS! We want to hear your Marcus Tsung murder ballads! Send ‘em to xplainthexmen@gmail.com with the subject line MUTANT MURDER BALLAD, and we’ll stick ‘em on the web or play ‘em on the show!
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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.
X-PLAINED:
Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
Generation X #67-70
Revolution (more) (again)
Shockwave (more) (again)
Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again)
Possible necrophilia
Dorm life
How not to draw clothing
Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room
The Rich Person Store
How to say the word “consigliere”
The ‘90s
Blackmail
Limits of telepathy
Arson
Ninja Boogie
Panic
How to keep Synch safe
Adultification
Failure to keep Synch safe
Where to pick up to follow along with us
Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X!
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In which we check in on Nate Grey; yet another Madelyne Pryor is not what she seems; dead men tell tales; there are a lot of Canadians out there; and Nate gets a makeover.
X-PLAINED:
What happened to Nate Grey (short-term)
Counter X
Shockwave
Nate Grey (more) (again)
X-Man #67-70
Non-dildo futures
Madelyne Pryor (kind of)
A dubiously ethical relationship
The destruction of Quito, Ecuador
Earth-998
Mr. Scratch
Her Majesty Madelyne I, Resurrected Queen of Briton, High Protector of the Unified Commonwealths, Sacred Mistress of the Order of the Black Knights, and Absolute Empress of the North and the Breachlands (Jean Grey of Earth-9575)
Several other Nates Grey (particularly the Nate Grey of Earth-2098)
A distinctive tattoo
Inverted X-Men logos
Shamanism, kind of
A very nice dress
The Spiral / The Tree of Worlds
Forge of Earth-998
The Interscope
The Engine of the Gods
A plot twist that might have been
Magical brain damage
Dangerous Canadians
A complex ruse
A makeover
How best to support the comics you love
Some very X-Man-specific information
NEXT EPISODE: Shockwave comes to Generation X!
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479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove
Mar 04, 2025
In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.
X-PLAINED:
Triathlon
The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
Erotic skyscrapers
Magneto (again) (forever)
X-Men Tijuana Bibles
The Genoshan Cabinet
Dark friendship with benefits
Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
Carrion Cove
Coloring symbolism and/or errors
Spat and Grovel (kind of)
Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
Socialism!
Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
Neal Conan
The Avengers of 2000
Kirby Krackle
Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
Bonking
Human nature
Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!
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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.
X-PLAINED:
Side effects of Decimation
Uncanny X-Men #379-380
X-Force #101
X-Men #99
Cadre K
Summers family drama
The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
Kevin
A very beautiful book
The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
The Neo (slightly)
To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
Sinister monologues
Herbert Evolutionary
The New New Men
The ‘90s, in general
What makes a Morlock
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!
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In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.
X-PLAINED:
The Triune Understanding
Ages of Apocalypse
Uncanny X-Men #378
Cable #77
Wolverine #148
X-Men Unlimited #26
X-Men #98
Earth-23378
Things you can leave to people in a will
The Silver Age, but different
Apocaclops
Aliya Dayspring
Chronological inconsistencies
Earth-2841
The Harpy (Betty Ross)
A very different Fantastic Four
Earth-32000
Siphon
The moon
Zackat (Wolverine) (long story)
Erik the Red (more) (again)
The Ladies Mastermind
Cadre K
Earth-32098
X-World
The prettiest X-Man
The moon’s mutant power
NEXT EPISODE: Powerless!
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In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems.
X-PLAINED:
Marvel’s Revolution line
POGs (somewhat) (again)
Who’s on Generation X these days
Generation X #59-62
Artie and Leech’s adventures in NYC
Holidays at the Massachusetts Academy
Cordelia Frost (more) (again)
Mondo (the real one)
Santa Claus / Juggernaut disambiguation
An overly convoluted plot
Parenting?
St. Croix family problems
Vampire problems
Legacies of Generation X
NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse!
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In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.
X-PLAINED:
Multiversal canon
X-Force #99-100
The Demon Bear (more) (again)
Arcadia DeVille (more) (again)
Mary Weather
Fenwick
Meridian
The Queen of Star Swords
The Cathedral
Cable (but not that Cable)
The X-Forces of several universes
Earth-3100
Earth-10003
Earth-130000
Earth-8280
Earth-23100
Non-mutants on the X-Men
The provenance of the Brood X-men
NEXT EPISODE: Mondo! (The real one, this time.)
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474 – Giant-Size Special #13 (feat. Anthony Oliveira)
Jan 20, 2025
Classic (x2). (Warlock #2)
In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
X-related characters of Avengers Academy
Warlock vol. 5, #1-9
Warlock (more) (again)
M-Tech
Jay’s Bluey Test for all-ages media
The visual semiotics of Warlock
Project Mainspring
Hope (Esperanza Ling)
Chi-Chee
Psi-cops
Gatekeepers
Technarchs
The transmode virus
A fancy hat
Many guest stars
The Phalanx (more) (again)
Psiren
Psimon
The techno-mechanic virus
Complicated feelings
Psycho Man (more) (again)
Astro-computers
Hope’s actual powers
Template
Magus (more) (again)
Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic
Why there are so many Canadian comic-book writers
Superhero comics vs. religious texts
Defining heroism
Escapade
Captain America of the Railways
Bloodline
Red Goblin
Moon Girl
Kid Juggernaut
Blackheart
Ongoing storytelling
Emplate as a queer character
Marcus Wetherell
What else to read if you love Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic
The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful
NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Demon Bear!
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473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)
Dec 30, 2024
In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.
X-PLAINED:
Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
The story so far
Uncanny X-Men #377
Cable #76
X-Men #97
Perks of immortality
A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
Several doppelgangers
Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
A fancy science machine
The Atomium
The Twelve
The three elements
The best issue of the Twelve
Orb action
Cable’s knowledge of history
Summers feelings
How to establish stakes
Potato storms
The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
Cadre K
Categories of mutants
How to beta test an Armageddon machine
Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
Weaponized continuity
The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
An unfortunate twist
Mundane uses of superpowers
The Altar
What would have improved the Twelve
NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!
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472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)
Dec 23, 2024
In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.
X-PLAINED:
What Cable does next
The event so far
Wolverine #146-147
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
Whether the Shadow King is moist
Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
Numerous flashbacks and allusions
Archangel’s third-stage evolution
The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
Abraham Kieros (again)
Apocalypse as a self-help guru
Fully nude Wolverine
X-51 #8 (briefly)
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
A miracle of magnetism
Scomp linking
A big fancy machine
Exodus (more) (again)
Mutants we’d like to see in public office
The (theoretical) Essex administration
NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!
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471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)
Dec 16, 2024
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.
X-PLAINED:
A codename that deviates from common patterns
The story so far
Uncanny X-Men #376
Cable #75
X-Men #96
Fiz the Skrull (again)
The Twelve
Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
The Living Monolith (more) (again)
That one font
Time-travel logic
Cable vs. eyes
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
A trap
Why the Twelve are the Twelve
The evolution of Cable
NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!
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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.
X-PLAINED:
One way to dispose of a corpse
Cable #73-74
Wolverine #145
Cable (more) (again)
Poor font choice
Sarcophagus nipples
Caliban (more) (again)
Impromptu tailoring
A cliched vignette
People talking on couches
A compact disc
Unpleasant reunions
An impressive outfit
Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
Wolverine (more) (again)
How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
Apocalypse’s aesthetic
Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends
NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!
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In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.
X-PLAINED:
Rama-Tut
Evan Sabahnur
Uncanny X-Men #375
X-Men #95
X-Men Unlimited #25
Skrull problems
One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
Skrullverine
Fiz and Jaq
The Ally
A ruse
Death’s mask
A dramatic revelation
Processing
The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
Wolverine memories
Rogue’s temporary tattoos
Yet another time loop
NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!
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In which St. Croix History reminds us of a Martian with a big butt; Penance’s escape is ambiguous; Avengers Academy Infinity Comic successfully reinvents Emplate; you should not learn to flirt from Vanilla Ice; Jubilee fires two fireworks blasts into the air whilst going aaahhh; and we go in through the ears.
X-PLAINED:
Apocalypse’s influence
The Big House (about which we are confused)
Generation X #58
Cartier and/or Louis St. Croix
Our college’s Dean, naked jogger
Things that are sharp in the woods
HUMP
Penance (Hollow)
Emplate, spoiled teenager
Generation X Annual 1999
Epistolary fonts
Jubilee’s pre-X past
Round Wolverine
Hunter Brawn (again, sigh)
Recognizing random dudes from pictures
Dad Things and Dad Pipes
Juggernaut and Black Tom as a relationship model
Jubilee, competent veteran
A murder mystery
Legault, cosplaying bodyguard
Taking notes on comics
Magneto’s telepathy-blocking (or not) helmet
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine’s dead! And Wolverine’s back!
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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.
X-PLAINED:
That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
An event in name only
Some shit that went down a while ago
The Hill (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #373-374
X-Men #93-94
Marrow as a child soldier
Rural Boston
Some asshole
Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
How to prove that you’re a god
The souls of furniture and some other things
The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
Ninja problems
B. Byron Biggs
Ronnie Lake
A Conspiracy
How Rogue and Destiny met
Compulsory heterosexuality
Destiny’s diaries
Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
Skrullverine’s power mimicry
How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era
NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!
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In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.
X-PLAINED:
Astonishing X-Men (miniseries)
Ambience
Nina (again)
Mannites (again)
The third-best way to get out of awkward conversations
The Hulkbuster base
Bastion (again)
Bastion’s worst nightmare
Death (a new one)
Fiddly bits
Cable’s Psimitar
Telekinetic snowboarding
Headcase
Darco
Glub
Beautiful Dreamer
Grace
Totem
Things to do with a severed head
The Changing
The (apparent) death of Wolverine
How to salvage this miniseries
Hypothetical X-crossovers
NEXT EPISODE: Lenore Zann joins us to talk all things Rogue!
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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.
X-PLAINED:
Blackheart
The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
The difference between prisons and jails
X-Force #98-98
Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
One way to get out of prison
The Glitterbox
An unsuccessful heist
Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
Demon Bears as urban pests
Selene, Always Voguing
Gatherers
Various evil scientists
The Sword
Junkyard life
Lenny Delmonico
Psychic rodeos
Nightmare chambers
Bat sex
An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
Hank McCoy’s villain arc
New Mutant superlatives
NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!
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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan
Sep 23, 2024
In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.
X-PLAINED:
Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians
NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!
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In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.
X-PLAINED:
Bevatron
Generation X #55-57
The Hellions and their untimely demise (again)
Uncanny X-Men #281
A continuity conundrum
Many allusions and references
Cognitive dissonance
Dancing between the raindrops of continuity
Resolution
Emma Frost, triumphant
Fashion
Emplate (more) (again)
Propeller beanies
Feelings
Explosions
One way to solve a problem
Whether you should read Dazzler: The Movie
The worst possible power swaps
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origins of Gambit’s fart ghost girlfriend!
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461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force
Sep 02, 2024
In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.
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In which Synch is better with your powers than you are; Generation X gets some actual training; Artie and Leech are fully feral; everyone gets the hots for Paladin; Zeus has probably fucked a motorcycle at some point; many countries have valleys; and Adrienne Frost is terrible.
X-PLAINED:
Generation X #52-54
Tristan Brawn (more) (again)
Grant Morrison on suspension of disbelief in superhero media
Honor vs. privilege
School dance themes
Artie and Leech’s habitat
Spider-Ham
Ducktor Doom
Role models
What Gaia is probably definitely up to
Paladin
The Rising Sons
Rollerblades
Dragon problems
Power emulation vs. reproduction
Pokémans
Cosplaying Emma Frost with a beard
Diamond Patch
Muir Island vs. Muir Isle
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Genosha!
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In which Tommy Lee Edwards draws a damned fine everything; death gods get taken a lot less seriously when their avatars are seagulls; warm and cool colors get in a fight; Domino has no time for this bullshit; Cable and Domino wait ’til the kids are asleep; Sunspot’s alibi is too complicated; X-Force forges a pouches path; Engines are nothing but trouble; and Ry’lor the Destroyer puts himself in time out.
X-PLAINED:
The Norse Pantheon of 2099
X-Force #91-93
One of the best X-covers ever
Our favorite Siryn story
Jesse Aaronson, penitent chef
Sean Cassidy, penitent dad
A realistically anticlimactic breakup
Cassidy/Rourke history
Bring Your Daughter to Crimes Day
Napoleon Sanders
An epistolary montage
The dusty pink word balloons of Tom Waits
A missed Manos-portunity
The Chaos Engine
Halloween Jack
Domino’s varied musical tastes
Ry’lor the Destroyer
Kodo the Komodo
Bedlam’s extremely situational powers
Astarte and Electryon
Horniness as a superpower
The Temple of the Dying Sun
Cable & Corsair’s (lack of) history
Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, and Hope
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and guest host Devin talk X-Patrol, 1996’s X-Force / Doom Patrol mash-up!
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In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.
X-PLAINED:
Dazzler’s murder trial
X-Men Unlimited #24
The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
Doctor Cecilia Reyes
Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
Wolverine and friends
Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
Banter
The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
Projectile-based wordplay
Irene Adler, spoiler machine
Genosha (again)
The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
Magneto’s panties
Stupid metaphors
Football stars and their football cars
Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
Generation X #51
Hunter & Tristan Brawn
Helicopter grandparents
Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
Emma Frost, forever traumatized
Generation X’s new costumes
Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
Comic book collecting preferences
NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.
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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!
X-PLAINED:
What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals
NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!
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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.
X-PLAINED:
The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
X-Men #89-90
Uncanny X-Men #370
A New York City that is not in fact New York City
“Spider-Man”
A ruse
Faces
Skrull problems
Mar-Vell
Adam Warlock
Sass vs. joviality
Skrull Cop City
Disguises
Nova (Frankie Raye)
How Galactus eats planets
Condiments
Several melees
Bone pubes
Skrull UI
Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
X-Musicals
NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!
The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.
X-PLAINED:
Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.
X-PLAINED:
“Beyond Good and Evil”
X-Men: The Animated Series and our respective feelings about it
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.
X-PLAINED:
How Magneto got his powers back
Morally ambiguous hair
Genosha (more) (again)
Magneto Rex #1-3
Magneto vs. Conan
Trish Tilby
Omniscient narrative condemnation
Magneto’s true archfoe
Magistrates (more) (again)
Mutates (more) (again)
Dr. Alda Huxley
Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
Teleportational nudity
The Zealot
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
Amelia Voght (more) (again)
Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Bastille (but not that one)
Mutant numbering
When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
The X-books we’re not covering
The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.
X-PLAINED:
Silly mutant powers
Uncanny X-Men #368-369
X-Men #88
Alan Davis’s X-Men run
Magneto’s robot butler
Joseph’s funeral
Nun-sense
A voyage to another dimension
Eyebrow power
Ejulp
The Trion
The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
Several comas
Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
Evil, kind of
Vacationing with X-Men characters
Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex
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450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater
May 27, 2024
In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.
X-PLAINED:
Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
Uncanny X-Men #428-434
X-Men Blue: Origins #1
The X-Men, like, in general
Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
Some narrative choices
Mystique
Baron Christian Wagner
Marvel Europe
Azazel
Church sex
Nightstreaker
Isla des Demonas
Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
Abyss
Kiwi Black
The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
Bad times with psychic therapy
Post-traumatic supervillainy
Uncool Hell
A miracle of magnetism
The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
A very elegant retcon
X-Muppets
Characters who deserve more page space
Miles’s favorite X-Person
What the Worthington Corporation does
A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid
NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)
In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.
X-PLAINED:
The Triune Understanding
Birthday party follow-up
X-Force #87-90
Legacy and continuity
Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
Goat Simulator
King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
The New Hellions
Perils of body-swapping
Linear time
Science
Armageddon Man
Paradigm
Senator Owen Danville
Family
A fancy hat
Madame Web
Many natural disasters
Early Genoshan history
Longshot as a villain
NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
447 – Minor Altercation of the Mutants
Apr 29, 2024
In which everything is an event these days; Skin may or may not have a skeleton; everyone has a crush on Synch; we are intrigued by Integer; and it’s hard to be Emma Frost.
X-PLAINED:
War of the Mutants
Generation X #50
X-Man #50
Nate Grey (again)
Adrienne Frost
Science
Dark Beast (again)
Gene Nation
Vessel
Hemingway
Membrain
Fever Pitch
Dark Opsidian
Iron Maiden
Wynter
Tattoos
More science
Integer
Trauma
Multiversal designations
The Morlock Tunnels
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs the New Hellions
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.
X-PLAINED:
A poor governance decision
X-Men: The Magneto War #1
Uncanny X-Men #366
Astral demerits
A very dramatic dream
The yolk of oppression
Several Acolytes
Nightcrawler’s nightcap
Our standards for advertisers
Suburban Magneto
Ferris
Magnet problems
Forged DNA
Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
Flying with Storm
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.
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In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.
X-PLAINED:
Several rather pointed allusions
X-Force #86
Uncanny X-Men #365
X-Men #85
Almost Reno, NM
Where mutants come from
The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
Abandoned towns
Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
Odysseus Indigo
The Damocles Foundation
Sibling names
The Fundamental Attribution Error
A haunting
Christmas beer
Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
Bill Jones
A rescue mission
Essential stories of the ‘90s
Our weird favorites
Siege
Our upcoming 10th birthday party (more) (again)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
443 – X-Retail (feat. Katie Pryde of Books With Pictures)
Mar 11, 2024
In which we walk down X-Plain Memory Lane; everyone needs Bitch Planet;HoX/PoX wouldn’t stay on shelves; we learn how to make sure a comic doesn’t get canceled; Marvel should have kept publishing those Krakoa-era anthology TPBs; X-Men is indeed a soap opera; and you can jump in here ’cause we’re all confused.
X-PLAINED:
The most crowded X-year
Books With Pictures, official best comics shop in the world
Our upcoming 10th birthday party
Katie Pryde’s X-history
Prioritizing marginalized nerd identities
Lapsed X-readers
X-sprawl
The Dawn of X books that worked (and the one that didn’t)
The frustration of discontinued collection formats
The perfect number of X-books (again)
Drama and kissing
What we want after Fall of X
Readers’ single issue vs collection preferences
The power of the preorder
Katie’s (naming) origin story
Readers versus speculators
How to organize a comic book store
Non-X recommendations for X-fans
The glory of Judge Dredd
X-Men who can be trusted to watch a comic book store
NEXT EPISODE: Deviants, Christmas ghosts, and Magneto!
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In which Marrow remains a connoisseur of dead rats; Jay has opinions about the NYC Subway system; U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M. are snazzy dressers; Doctor Doom gets excited about Onslaught; Magneto can have a rocket pack if he wants; villainous game recognizes villainous game; weird retcons are the best retcons; and you should totally come to our birthday party.
X-PLAINED:
A peculiar side effect of Wolverine’s healing factor
Jay & Miles on Bluesky (and other social media)
Our upcoming 10th birthday party and live show (and related announcements)
X-Men Unlimited #22
X-Men/Doctor Doom Annual 1998
An unpleasant way to wake up
That’s so Kraven
Avengers and transit cops
U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M.
Flag Smasher
Some miscellaneous New York Subway trivia
Audience stand-ins (and how the reading experience changes when the audience stand-in isn’t human-passing)
Additional New York Subway trivia
Premonitions of Onslaught
An X-Men highlight reel
A delightful little retcon
One way to ruin X-Men #137
Healing factor preferences
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Katie Pryde X-Plain Comics Retail!
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In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and Miles die in this episode, they die in real life.
X-PLAINED:
Dracula as a universal standard
Earth-441
Generation X #48-49
The missed potential of 13,000-year-old teenager Gaia
The Jay Faerber run of Generation X
Emma and Banshee’s forgotten X-friendship
That time that Moira ripped off Banshee’s skin and wore it like a Halloween costume (again)
Cordelia Frost, Emma’s younger sister
Adrienne Frost, Emma’s older sister
Interpersonal arguments by way of Asgardian combat scenarios
Jubilee, fox; versus M, scorpion
Alaska, moping capital of the Marvel Universe
Clever scene transitions
Constantine Francis Slaughter IV and his mustache
Puberty as body horror
Husk’s breakup haircut
Slug emulation
Generation X / Dracula Annual 1998
The Council of Cross-Time Draculas
Chamber’s goofy face
Vampire fonts
Jubilee’s bunny slippers
Charlie Brown in Snow Valley
Count von Count (again)
Monsters as class metaphor
What would happen if Synch synced with Legion
Who would pronounce Cable like Britta Perry pronounces bagel
NEXT EPISODE: Victor Von Doom X-Plains the X-Men.
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From organic steel to organic… whatever that is. (X-Men #83)
In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies.
X-PLAINED:
The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2
Babies and/or ghosts
Chekhov’s repowering
X-Men #83-84
Uncanny X-Men #364
Cerebro / Cerebro Prime
Cerebrite Alpha
Cerebrite Beta
X-Men serial numbers
What Gambit’s friends call him
How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit
Evil robot sperm
Mary Purcell
Multiple-monitor displays
A computer with a computer
AI
The Florida facility
Post
Pile-Driver X
A glimpse into the butt of all humanity
Comics for babies
Name-based powers
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems!
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In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy.
X-PLAINED:
Mary Purcell (sort of)
The re-defaulting of the X-Men
Uncanny X-Men #362-323
X-Men #82
Nebraska
Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness
Legacy Virus variations
Going home again
Running back and forth in quarries
Marrow, who’s come a long way
The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies
Cerebro (the evil one)
San Francisco and Tajikinistan
Asphalt ball pits
A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell
Nina the Mannite
Desire, love, loss, and fear
Skulls and spines
The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants
Cerebrites Alpha and Beta
A lost, smelly fish
Ambiguous art
Blood, sweat, and fears
Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings
Hopes for post-Fall society
NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier
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In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.
X-PLAINED:
One way to take over Madripoor
Uncanny X-Men #361
X-Men #81
Wolverine: Black Rio
The X-Men’s rapid slide back to the status quo
Steve Comicraft
The fork of loneliness
Cyttorak (again)
Black Tom Cassidy (again)
Peacocks
Sarasota Jungle Gardens
What’s sticking out of Juggernaut’s pants
Favorite versions of the Danger Room
Floriography
Kali (kind of)
Mary Purcell (a bit)
Rio Carnival
An outfit
Detective Antonio Vargas and his mustache
Saint Cyrus Leviticus
Ezra
Comparing mutant and Inhuman culture
Demonic homage
NEXT EPISODE: The Hunt for Xavier begins!
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“Hot Topic Rennfaire” was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force’s prom theme. (X-Force #85)
In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience.
X-PLAINED:
Master Pandemonium
X-Force #85
X-Force/Champions Annual 1998
What X-Force has been up to lately
The regrettable absence of Doctor Doom
Possession
Community
Cougars (euphemistic)
The thrift cycle
Rusty Collins on Krakoa
Fashion
An eons-old accord between the Houses of Chaos and the Lord of Valhalla
Jennifer Kale
The list
Swears
A statue of Hades
Various appendages sticking out of the earth
Hercules
The mystic power of sarcasm
The greatest fear of a Titan
Monet St. Croix vs. the Count of Monte Cristo
Good X-books for your fifteen-year-old niece
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Vampires (again)!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer
Jan 08, 2024
In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.
X-PLAINED:
Notable incidents in Iceman’s romantic history
X-Men: Liberators #1-4
Nostalgia
Friendship
A bar fight
Province 13
General Sergei
Several dead deer
Gregor and Valeri
Nikolas
Zener cards
Several children
Omega Red (more) (again)
Ariana
Ideal formats
Beast vs. Dark Beast
A theoretical X-Men newspaper comic
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets possessed!
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435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)
Jan 01, 2024
Illustration by David Wynne
In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Our tenth birthday party!
2023
Longshot vol. 2 #1
Longshot as a folkloric archetype
Longshot (more) (again)
Dismal Nitch, Washington
The Thingee
Baum, Kansas
Corn
Betty
Barrie, Kansas
The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
Innocence, broadly
The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
Love
Immortal X-Men
Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
Defining Mister Sinister
Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
Reset phrases
Eternals
The 10th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are grateful
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators
NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!
Special thanks to:
Matt Hunter
Dylan Higgins
Al Kennedy
Max Carleton
Kieron Gillen
Tea Fougner
Anna Stokes
All of our patrons
All of you listening, always <3
“Sinister Is Cloning This Town” performed by Steve and Erin Pence
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the X-Men turn 35; we pause to celebrate the death of Henry Kissinger; Jay is a space nerd; Marrow hang-dries her delicates; space shuttles are not rockets; the band gets back together; and the Danger Room isn’t the first piece of X-tech to get sentience and a robot body.
X-PLAINED
How Excalibur got a Blackbird
Uncanny X-Men #360
X-Men #80
Many callbacks
The Benassi Rocket
The Cassini Probe
The All-New, Slightly Off X-Men
The Grey King (Addison Falk)
Chaos and/or Xhaos (Dan Dash)
Mercury
Rapture (Sister Joy)
Crux (Cristal Lemiuex)
Landslide (Lee Broder)
The Founder
Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau (again)
The Mutant Defense Net
Heroic narration
Lack of spacefaring continuity
Friendship
Technology
Costumes
All-New All-Different Dungeons & Dragons
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #10
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we take a retrospective look at X-Factor and Excalibur: where the series began, where they went, and what’s in store after the ends of their first volumes.
X-PLAINED:
What Rictor’s been up to
X-Factor
Excalibur
NEXT EPISODE: A Corbeau cameo!
The visual companion to this episode is scattered through the last eight years of visual companions, mostly under the X-Factor and Excalibur tags.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.
X-PLAINED:
How Jubilee stopped being a vampire
The Draco, kinda
Generation X #44-47
Bianca LaNeige (again)
Polaroid cameras
Gaia (more) (again)
Reality warping
Woody and Arlo Guthrie
Iceland
Several continuity errors
Psi War fallout
Paul Weller
New school uniforms
Accreditation
Miss Pickwick
Penance’s nationality
Guthrie manifestation
Teamwork
Forge’s decision-making skills
Paradox
Indoor/outdoor moppets
Four theoretical horsemen of Apocalypse
Awkward family holidays
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles autopsy X-Factor and Excalibur!
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431 – Doctor Jennifer Murder’s Drop-In Deathatorium
Nov 20, 2023
No notes. (Generation X Underground Special #1)
In which Synch is a more versatile character than he originally got credit for; “eep” and “eek” are likewise underused; space makes everything better; Nate Grey is the proto-himbo; and if you can decipher the secret code in this episode, you, too, can win a Silver Surfer jet ski!
X-PLAINED:
Diablo
Generation X Underground Special
X-Men Unlimited #30
X-Man: All Saints Day
Jim Mahfood
Skin’s video-game preferences
Strange superpowers
Poster pirates
Visual representations of the passage of time
“Banshee’s Angels”
Charlie’s Angels
The infamous donut-day riots
Perfect costumes
Adequate restraints for small children
The raw power of funk
Generation X vs. the Beat Generation
The greatest disco event in the universe
Nate Grey
Some kid named Jerome
Countess Absynthia Von Mort
Transylvania
Dr. Cindy’s Castle
The state of Phoenix affairs
The color bar at the top of the page in ‘90s comics
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X suits up!
Check out visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.
X-PLAINED:
Psycho-Man
Malice (but not that one)
Hate Monger (but not that one)
Finding good comics from the ‘90s
Uncanny X-Men #359
X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998
X-Men #79
The dead man’s hand
Dr. Aubrey Agee
Psi-War fallout
Dr. Bradley Beynon
Hadley the robot
Poker twinks
La Bludgeon
Psycho-Man’s Bad Feelings Box
An invisible bear trap
Marvel’s floating poker game
Officers Aguinal and Cleveland
Antagonists vs. villains
Omega-level mutants
NEXT EPISODE: The Generation X Underground Special, feat. Al Kennedy!
Check out visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.
X-PLAINED:
Strong Guy’s hellacious history
The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
X-Men Unlimited #20-21
Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
What Asgard was up to in 1998
Magik vs magic
The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
Eagles vs Hats
Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
Angry mobs
Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
Payphones & video rental stores
X-friends
Rutland, VT (again)
Melvin J. Weals
Helen Back
The Donnybrook Country Club
Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
Steel (the Shaq one)
The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
Earth: the Hipster Planet
Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
Fan-casting X-voices
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.
X-PLAINED:
Captain Britain varieties
The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
Excalibur #124-125
Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
The Crazy Gang (again)
Meggan’s crush on Colossus
Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
A surprise bridal shower
The return of Captain UK
Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
Glorious, glorious chaos
Poor, poor Feron
Multiple awkward conversations
The return of Widget and also everyone else
Lightning Force (dammit)
A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
So many cameos
…Seriously, so many cameos
Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
Shockingly healthy communication
Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
A bittersweet ending
Nightcrawler’s best outfit
The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup
NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).
X-PLAINED:
Arcadia DeVille
The Deviants
X-Force #81-84
What’s been up with X-Force
The goddess Pele and the heart thereof
Beachwear
An episode of The Brady Bunch
Krotok the Lava Man
Lava Men, in general
Gortokians
Jinku the Lava Man
A diabolical plan
Jesse Aaronson (Bedlam) (but not that one)
Terry and/or Christopher Aaronson
The Aguilar Institute
The Griffin (Ekaterina Gryaznova, again)
Infinite Guthries
Ulysses Dragonblood
Odysseus Indigo
Lucas Wyndham
M.U.S.E. (Mutant Underground Support Engine)
A very Summers situation
Foreshadowing
Whether Shard can (and should) be resurrected by the Five
Accidental foreshadowing
NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.
X-PLAINED:
The current number of Summers brothers
Uncanny X-Men #358
Team X 2000
The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
Shi’ar voices
Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
Sexual dimorphism in art
The Ursaa
Organs
The Chnitt
Karel
Several cameos
Nullifier charges
Tu
The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
2018
Alan Smithee
Gith
Deathbird’s terrible childhood
Shi’ar-occupied Earth
Alanna Nerimani
Your cool murder aunt
Earth-9922
Deathbird’s war journals
The Morlocks (but not those ones)
Team X (but not that one)
Bribery
A very sexual encounter
Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
Beast’s long, slow heel turn
NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which moose are nothing to mess with; Cyclops requests a reality check; Bachalo does Kirby; Rogue absorbs a catchphrase; and the Shadow King needs a villain song.
X-PLAINED:
Uncanny X-Men #356-357
X-Men 77-78
The Cable Principle
Corvid disambiguation
An aborted narrative
Moose
Sherrif and/or Officer Chris
Stacy’s sister Melissa
Cul-de-sacs
Ptarmigan Creek
Dubiously credible lies
Nostalgia
Bad times in Westchester
Bad times in space
Punching birds
Moon Wolf
An absolutely inappropriate theatrical reference
Ainet
Ananansi vs. Anansi
The Shadow King (more) (again)
Psi-War
Temptation
Shadow powers
Hair swaps
Solo Disney+ series for X-Men
How to make Gambit work onscreen
NEXT EPISODE: Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… IN SPACE!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.
X-PLAINED:
Muppet rules
X-Factor, vol. 1, in general
X-Factor #146-149
Sense of place
Jude Black and his inexplicable facial hair
Boundaries
Edible Arrangements
A different kind of sports bar
Kevin
Nostalgia, I guess?
Several confrontations
Temporal insanity
A very specialized course
What happens next
The universe where Dazzler replaced Jean Grey in the original X-Factor
Characters we would like to have seen more of
NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!
Special thanks to muppets Michal Richardson, Bilal Dardai, and Matt Hunter!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.
X-PLAINED:
Ghosts
Excalibur #121-123
The Mutant Underground
Empathic recon
An extremely disgruntled kiss
Kitty’s new costume
Several of Legion’s personalities
A mysterious disk
A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
Ice cream of Cloud City
A good dog
Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
The devolution of Douglock
Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
Mimic’s facial hair
Some Prime Sentinels
Wedding planning
Liking parts of things
Villains who want to marry Storm
Maddy Pryor
NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the X-Men’s membership is a complicated subject; not all angels know each other; we need to talk about Beast’s Wasp costume; Cecilia Reyes speaks for all reasonable folk; Storm gets a mysterious package; and reading comics day-and-date may not be for everyone.
X-PLAINED:
The variable loyalties of the N’garai
X-Men #74-76
A somewhat atypical team lineup
A whole lotta backstory
How to join the X-Men
Warren Kenneth Worthington III as a religious figure
Flechette clean-up
Teenage drama
Detective Jim Logan
A lot of murder
The N’garai
Beast’s Wasp costume
Explanatory captions for real life
The Ru’tai
Pilgrimm
Mai’Keth the Undying One
The Eye of Kierokk
Maggott’s secret origins
X-Men cartoons for a 7-year-old
Reckoning with loss in comics
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur rushes toward its conclusion
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which one letter can make a big difference; it’s just not Arcade without giant pinballs; Colossus is nobody’s fool; Margali Szardos is not a relative you want to stay in touch with; Nightcrawler turns to the jerk side; and Jay and Miles pitch an X-Men kids’ show.
X-PLAINED:
Elisabeth Wilford vs. Elizabeth Wilford
Colossus #1
X-Men Unlimited #19
How to name a miniseries or one-shot
The destructive potential of happiness
A clock
An inaccurate duplicate of Avalon
The return of the Proletarian
Costumes with characters’ faces on them
Death by irony
A journey to Limbo
Several blasts from the past
Margali Szardos’s head
Foreshadowing that we desperately wish had panned out
Cold open curation
A hypothetical X-Men show for five-year-olds
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origin of Maggott
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
420 – The Legendary House of Wolverine, feat. Christopher Michael Roman
Aug 14, 2023
In which Jay sits down with scholar Christopher Michael Roman to discuss his recent book, Queering Wolverine in Comics and Fanfiction: A Fastball Special; alongside queer theory, porous bodies, and nontraditional mentorship.
CONTENT NOTE: This episode includes graphic discussions of physical trauma as well as consensual if weird fictional sex.
NEXT EPISODE: Colossus and Meggan finally go to Dudleyworld, sort of!
No visual companion this week, but if you want to pick up Chris’s book, you can do that here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Run, Penance! The retcons are coming for you! (Generation X #40)
In which the St. Croix family is constructed largely of retcons; Generation X adjusts surprisingly quickly to a massive status quo shift; Psi-War is coming soon to a podcast near you; Snow White – I mean, Bianca LaNeige – has an intriguing but exceptionally minimal backstory; and if you die in this podcast episode, you die in real life.
X-PLAINED:
Hellfire Club history
Generation X #40-43
MillXnials
Mercy General Hospital vs Our Mother of Mercy Hospital
Ambiguous psionic overlap
Nicole & Claudette & Monet & Marius St. Croix
The Downtown Stomp
Synch, agreeable and bland (for now)
Vincent Adultman
The nature of Penance
A glacial but effective pace
Bianca LaNeige, evil Snow White from space
Warpy, Stinky, Spiky, Windy, Greasy, Brainy, and Blurry
The Enchanted Forest of Oregon
Claremont:Body Swaps::Hama:Getting Stuck In Other Dimensions
Jay vs. Accents
Terminal Dream Syndrome
A surprisingly gruesome fill-in
An underrated era for Emma Frost
Betty & Veronica, presenting like mandrills
Zak the Neutrino
Albert & Elsie-Dee (briefly)
The Dodsons vs Mike Allred
Dr. Bronner’s uncredited Marvel career
Our coverage of Ultimate X-Men (or lack thereof)
Dr. Phil Zimbardo’s xplainthexmen study
NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are scarier in suits; Reignfire is the new Erik the Red; “background assets” would be a very funny euphemism; it’s always either time travel or clones; and you should probably not get a corporate logo tattooed on the side of your head.
X-PLAINED:
Crimes of Dark Beast
X-Force #77-80
The Mutant Liberation Front
Reignfire (repeatedly)
Video Renaissance
Almost Reno, NM
The inversion of several common tropes
Small towns
Different kinds of mutants
X-Force Fun Facts
Skids (Sally Blevins)
Several continuity errors
Some kidnappings
Sexiness without prurience
Background assets
Dr. Joshua (again)
(Henry Wallinger)
Psychic shenanigans
Las Vegas
Word-balloon disambiguation
X-Force’s new HQ
Historical X-Men we’d like to see
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X and the Seven Dwarves
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.
X-PLAINED:
Miles at SDCC
Uncanny X-Men #353-355
X-Men #73
A running motif
Wolverine’s sons
Margaret Stone
“fun”
The location of the original X-jet
A red herring
Sauron (more) (again)
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
How to ship a pterodactyl
Mighty appendages
The Agee Institute
Boundaries
Wallpaper
Joseph (more) (again)
New Year’s Resolutions
Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
The X-Men’s answering machine
What Wolverine does
Alpha Flight
Canada problems
A crossover
Phoenix problems
Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
Found families
What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story
NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.
X-PLAINED:
How to recruit Unus the Untouchable to your super-team
What Excalibur has been up to
Excalibur #118-120
An excellent use of danger room technology
Some fairly deft metacommentary
Colossus vs. another tree
Bamfs and the character assassination thereof
Nightmare
Characterization via lettering
Several nightmare scenarios
Pete Wisdom vs. Nightmare
Meggan’s true form (again)
A poorly conceived romantic gesture
Foreshadowing
Relative Bamf quality
Other Marvel villains we’d like to see menace the X-Men
Our thoughts on Legion and The Gifted
NEXT EPISODE: A pterodactyl with a gun!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Gambit does Stardust; Wilbur Weston holds no one’s redemption; Gambit is unequivocally bisexual; Lucifer is kinda goofy; and we still don’t know what’s in the box.
X-PLAINED:
Family businesses
Gambit vol. 2 #1-4
What Gambit’s been up to
Some peculiar parallels
Father Miguel Bonavita
Sister Katrina
Father Marcelo
A box
Tante Mattie Baptiste
Olivier Stoker and/or Lucifer
Fancy captions
The Cross of Redemption
Anielle, who may or may not Hanael and may or may not also be a fallen star and/or angel
Gambit’s subconscious
Octopus Gambit
The Grigori
Sibyl
Cerberus
Wormwood
Pew surfing
CyberFork
Spitting locusts, sadly
A bad take on the trolley problem
An ambiguous ending
A pecular transition
Genre displacement
Warlock as a form of art
Elon Musk’s closest X-villain analog
NEXT EPISODE: Dark night of the Bamf!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Wild Child makes an unlikely Santa Claus; Sabretooth champions continuity; Random’s last name should’a been Violence; Forge doesn’t have to like you; and Mackie’s X-Factor run gets interesting—right before its untimely end.
X-PLAINED:
Another X-Factor
X-Factor #142-145
Unrealized anticipation
Deadline
What Val Cooper wants for Christmas
The evolutionary symbolism of noses
Several breeds of dog
The secret history of Val Cooper and Wild Child
Wildheart
The Secret Empire
The X.U.E. (more) (again)
Ice skating, interrupted
Another cool way to draw Havok’s powers
A clever retcon
The X-Factor that might have been
Greystone’s origins
Micah
A temple of doom
The hierarchy of cool skulls
Branching timelines and the implications thereof
An Alex Summers / Moira MacTaggert chimera
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit, again.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
413 – Convergence (feat. Douglas Wolk)
Jun 05, 2023
In which X-Force goes to Burning Man Exploding Colossal Man; Douglas Wolk may or may not have superpowers; Karma gets girlfriends; we are already tired of Reignfire; Meltdown and Sunspot initiate a love triangle; and Jay is writing some more X-Men.
X-PLAINED:
Road trips
X-Force #75-76
New Mutants vol. 4 #30
A gatefold and a half
Burning Man
Exploding Colossal Man
Karma’s name
Echidna Faire
Text
Selene (more) (again)
Crowd scenes
Various character relationships
Callbacks
Mud
A magic box and a fancy stick
Eitri the Dwarf
A grand conjunction
A big, silly fight
Peak late ‘90s queer culture
Echidna Faire
Bowling
Etienne Rousseau
Updating Bastion’s facial hair
Wolverine’s mentees
NEXT EPISODE: The beginning of the end of X-Factor
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Kelly and Seagle’s X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm’s past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes’s job doesn’t deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal.
X-PLAINED:
The Grey family reunion
X-Men #71-72
What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference
Baggage and also suitcases
Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans
Bone whiskers
Telemarketer power moves
Cecilia Reyes
Marrow (Sarah)
Sam Guthrie’s tiny ponytail
The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope
The cost of one banana
Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe)
A mostly empty attic
Wolverine’s etiquette lessons
The dessert claw vs the salad claw
The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art
Cannonball, the grown-up in the room
Magneto’s increasingly complicated past
Magnus, Erik, and Max (again)
Uncanny X-Men #351-352
Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office
Intersectionality
Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus
Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner
Kevin, Lord of the Jungle
Ending conversations by turning into a bird
A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics)
Crows of Ill Portent
A Box of Entity
Condors and Cockatoos
Logan’s denim proclivities
Arcade vs. Mojo
Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance!
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.
X-PLAINED:
Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.
X-PLAINED:
Vampires vs. Marrow (again)
Whether Marrow is a mutant
Drugs
X-Plaining the inexplicable
Generation X #37-39
M-Plate (more) (again)
A Boojum
How to correctly identify a snark
The Universal Amalgamator (more) (again)
A door
Moria, kind of, I guess?
Mysterious topiary
An equally mysterious train
The Citadel of the Universal Amalgamator
Gaia
How to make a deal with a Token
Orange milk
A network of interdimensional water closets
The Bill the Pony Effect
An attempted murder
Monet vs. Northstar
Characters we’d like to see come out of the subtext
NEXT EPISODE: The Angry Claremontean Narrator Returns
CORRECTION: Miles said that the previous episode was #410. This episode is in fact #410; the previous episode is #409.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a Token is.
X-PLAINED:
Emplate vs. Marrow
What’s been up with Generation X
Generation X #34-36
Claudette and Nicole St. Croix
Emplate (more) (again)
Controlled chaos
Tracy Authier
Bullying
Dorian and Weasel (again)
Treasures
EAT
Some unusually friendly blackmail
Wizard Magazine
Husk’s diary and hypothetical fanfiction
Chimera
A Lepton imploder
Dirt-Nap
M-Plate
A dream, we think, probably
Jubilee in Wonderland
A Token
Chief Authier
Elwood
Landau, Luckman, & Lake (again)
The Citadel at the Edge of Reality
The Universal Amalgamator
Magik on screen
Our favorite villains and alignment shifts from the Krakoa era
NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga concludes
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.
X-PLAINED:
Graymalkin
Bishop: X.S.E. #1-3
Bishop (more) (again)
Earth-1191
The X.S.E.
Hecate
Malcolm
Randall
The popularity of Earth-1191 miniseries
The solid-light hologram of Theseus
The Fanatix
Pulsar
Dogface
Hardball
Razorback
Kali (but not that one)
Shadowbox
“Quotations”
Seldon Trask
A mystery
The Rook
Annabella Knox
Anthony Shaw
The Bay Borough
The best episode of Justice League Unlimited
Organic LMDs
A disguise
An uncanny child
Dazzler’s career
X-Adjectives
NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: independent comics!
X-PLAINED
What makes a comic independent
Superbutch
Little Garden
44 Presidents and a Letter to a Cat
Finder
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again)
Elfquest
Nexus
Prince of Persia
Love & Rockets
Jim Ottaviani’s science comics
Wet Moon
407 – Freshening Up
Apr 10, 2023
In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.
X-PLAINED:
X-Nation
What X-Factor’s been up to
X-Factor #138-141
Omega Red (again)
The Brotherhood’s new hideout
Mallory Brickman
Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
Gloria Brickman
“Freshening up”
Mystique, but a sitcom
Agent Vargas
Ever
The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
Exhumes vs. emplates
Fixx
Greystone
Archer
The X.U.E.
Bantam
Leisure activities
What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
What we want from X-Men #700
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.
X-PLAINED:
The Circus of Crime
Stan Lee intros
Wolverine #-1
X-Factor #-1
X-Force #-1
X-Men #-1
Proust vs. Sartre
How Logan joined Alpha Flight
The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
USDA, Annex B
Myron MacLain
Logan’s cigars
Yet more continuity errors
Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
The balance of scary and silly
Wolverine’s cowboy hat
Summers family bullshit
The Blandings and/or Masterses
Vince
The Proudstar family
One or more cats named Coyote
The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
Edwin Martynec (again)
Chondu the Magician
Ringmaster
Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
The bottom of the resurrection queue
Good car-trip episodes
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions
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In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.
X-PLAINED:
Sentry (but not that one)
Babies
Flashback
Cable #-1
Excalibur #-1
Generation X #-1
Uncanny X-Men #-1
The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
Hippie Cable
Veins of science
Yet another time travel loop
What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
Sabu
“Science”
A large volume of dubious continuity
Larry Trask (more) (again)
Jay’s cosplay aspirations
Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
The Twelve (somewhat)
A possible splinter timeline
The X-Men of 1602
Rube Goldberg
NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!
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And now for something completely different. (Death’s Head II #1)
In which Death’s Head gets around universes; AIM fails to recognize closed narrative loops; we need more huscarls in comics; time travel occasionally solves the problems it creates; and we bid a fond farewell (for now) to Al Kennedy.
X-PLAINED:
Death’s Head
Death’s Head II #1-4
Marvel UK
Death’s Head I
Minion
Earth-8410
The far future of 2020
Dr. Evelyn Necker
How to dress for time travel
Reed Richards’s mother’s name
Earth-12892
Robin Hood of Future Past
Heavily armed nuns
Tuck
Spratt
The Lord High Protector
Huscarls
Baron Strucker V
Charnel
A large number of deaths
A deft solution to a complex problem
Essential Marvel UK
Marvel UK vs. Marvel US
NEXT WEEK:
Go outside and touch some grass!
NEXT EPISODE:
The return of Jay!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don’t talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series.
X-PLAINED:
Possession
Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again)
Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3
A surprising helicopter
Frictionless bed sheets
S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D.
The word “obstreperous”
The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers
Larry Hama dialogue
Rigby Fallon
Yet another return of Ogūn
One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier
Yet another fight on the astral plane
Wolverine vs. technology
The intrinsic power of life, I guess
Visibility of psychic powers
Live-action X pitches
NEXT EPISODE:
Death’s Head II!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)
In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale.
X-PLAINED:
Marvel UK
Digitek
Excalibur #114-117
What Excalibur’s been up to
Tunnels vs. sewers
An unexpected callback
Slang
The mutability of Kitty Pryde
Friendship
Sari St. Hubbins
Fashion
One way to get around a power inhibitor
A frosted tips outline
Viruses
Phalanx love
Greebling
A substantial retcon
Excalibur vs. the Sidri
Marvel characters’ musical associations
Whether there have been more X-Men or Avengers
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man
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401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping
Feb 13, 2023
And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas.
X-PLAINED
Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy
A new direction for Generation X
Larry Hama
Al vs. U.S. geography
Generation X #32-33
Generation X Holiday Special
New Mutants #92
Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix
The Circus of Crime
The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat)
Hacker T. Dog
Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns
Skrull Kill Crew
Carnie Voltron
Chief Authier
Phat beats
A reality biscuit
Emplate’s pocket dimension
Chimera and Dirtnap
Variant interiors
Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again)
Santa Claus (in general)
Benefits of inconsistent characterization
NEXT WEEK: Break week
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!
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In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.
X-PLAINED
Spat
The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
How not to back up your work
Uncanny X-Men #350
X-Men #70
A shambles
What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
A very fancy cover
Insufficient outerwear
Senses
Justice as a decorating theme
Baffling statuary
The return of Erik the Red
Erik the Red (again)
Ferris
Gambit’s big secret
A large number of continuity errors
A total dick move
De-icing
Untitled Marrow Game
A big fight
Living room surgery
Legal documents
Favorite anniversary issues
Dangling plot threads
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the X-Force road trip era begins; Team X takes on a new dimension; Dani Moonstar gets her subtext back; pointing out a stereotype doesn’t excuse using it; Tabitha Smith generally deserves better; platypuses are underrepresented in the superhero genre; Hell becomes Stryfe; and Domino gets back in the game.
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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
Motormouth (Harley Davis)
Motormouth and Killpower
Uncanny X-Men #347-349
Grovel and Spat
A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
Load-bearing backstory
Landscape
The other Nanny
Elegant foreshadowing
Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
Gambit’s chest hair
The end of playtime
CCA-compliant foliage
Deathbird and Bishop
A vanity plate
Eany and Meany
One-off psychometry
Psylocke vs. Maggott
Decompression
Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay
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In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing.
X-PLAINED:
Spider-Man’s head cold
Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1
Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
Horrible violence, expertly implied
The ubiquity of sewers
Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies
Serial killers with G.I. Joe names
Improbable tracking
Bilingual crime
Chekhov’s waterfall
DRUGS
X-Factor #136-137
The Hound program
Skeumorphism
Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes
Questionable wound-dressing
Holograms
Government jobs
The sad fate of the Chase family
Nimrod disambiguation
The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!
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In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Jay has exciting news, Rick Leonardo draws an impressively creepy mad scientist’s lair, the clouds are purple and so is the prose, Powers of X gets a subtle prequel 21 years early, Cable’s own tolerance has finally reached zero, and we summarize Bastion’s backstory way, way faster than Bastion does.
X-PLAINED:
Machine Man (X-51) (Aaron Stack)
Operation Zero Tolerance (more) (again)
Jay’s upcoming parental leave
Bastion (Sebastion Gilberti)
M-Tech
Powerman 5000
Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998
Hobgits and their sound effects
Street Fighter: the Roleplaying Game
Batroc ze Lepair
Jack Kirby’s 2001: A Space Odyssey
X-51 / X-23 overlaps
Classic Summers Family Bullshit
Psionic soapboxes
What makes Bastion a compelling villain
The necessity of companions
Master Mold 3.0 & Nimrod 2.0
Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998
Terrible font choices
ZORCH
Cable vs. floors
The carbon footprint of robotic fascism
Marvel Comics Presents #17-24 (just a little)
Incredible Hulk Annual #7 (just a tad)
The Siege Perilous
The future of Machine Man
The hypothetical 2022 version of Bastion
Historical events in which we’d love to see long-lived mutants take part
NEXT WEEK: We take a break for the holidays!
IN TWO WEEKS: The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men 2022 Giant-Size Winter Special!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Dave Tomaine and Rho Sovia’s graphic novel, Keeper!
In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.
X-PLAINED:
The original proposed ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
The actual ending of Operation Zero Tolerance
X-Men #66-69
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Prime Sentinels (again)
Bastion (more) (again)
Spidey and His Amazing Friends
Cecilia Reyes
The most reluctant X-Men
Nanomachines
Trust
Miles’s least favorite X-Men story
Sabra
Superheroes who wear white
Wizard dogs
Indestructible undergarments
Angie Quail
Candy Southern (again)
Actual quail
Bones
Metal Gear Solid
Officers Aguinal and Cleaveland
The sound of a soul losing its shape
One of many problems with the carceral system
What men do in bathrooms
A showdown
Operation Zero Tolerance in retrospect
Silly superhero names
Non-mutant characters who pair well with X-Men
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Bastion’s secret origin!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.
X-PLAINED:
Bastion’s priorities
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Wolverine #115-118
How to villainously declaim
Mustang
Roustabouts
Waking up with the X-Men
Where (some) Prime Sentinels come from
Fatality, kind of
Felipe, Arvell, and Helmut
Inevitability
A reunion
Government intervention
Anatomy
Jaz disks
Friendship
Jean Grey’s romantic history
The League of Nations vs. The League of Nathans
NEXT EPISODE: Mostly New and Different X-Men!
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In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.
X-PLAINED:
Banshee, recently
Generation X #29-31
Uncanny X-Men #346
Bastion
Daria
Leave It to Chance
Miguela Torres
Venice Beach
Skin’s cousin Gil
Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
Jolt Cola™
Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
The Mullet of Leadership
A cool kid
Cat drama
DOA (again)
Cars
A kiss
Several attempted murders
Marrow’s appearance
Boyd and Mathers
X-fighting games
Mutant leadership philosophies
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about lawyers and law.
In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.
X-PLAINED:
Cable #45-47
X-Man #30
What various Nathans have been up to
Operation Zero Tolerance (again)
The Siege of the Vapor Ants
Three grenades
Beefy vents for beefy men
Danger
Shi’arese
Cable vs. Bastion
So much beer
Three rad ladies
Several Greys
Roust
Every appearance of Joey and Gaylin Bailey
Several faked deaths
Possible impact of the MCU on the X-comics’ status quo
Character ages
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.
X-PLAINED:
Vanisher’s brain tumor, again
X-Force #67-70
The Wakeman Oncological Research Center
Commander Ekaterina Gryaznova
The Mutant Liberation Front
Wildside
Dragoness
Forearm
Tempo
Locus
Moonstar (Mirage) (Danielle Moonstar)
Quiet quitting (and why it’s a bullshit concept)
Locus’s skin
Prime Sentinels
Ozymandias (again)
Llamas
A journey to another dimension
Spencer Beaumont
G. W. Bridge’s pajamas
In-between dimensions
Yet another homage to Uncanny X-Men #138
Cerebra
Earth-2099 vs. Earth-928
Our favorite non-canon ships
NEXT EPISODE: Cable, home alone
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In which some puns are fundamentally visual; Jubilee is a really good kid; Bastion is a bad person but a good villain; Bachalo does Romita; Seagulls are assholes (but reasonably good narrators); Skin has no time for fantasies; Hitch does Cockrum; and Operation Zero Tolerance (unofficially) begins (again).
X-PLAINED:
Glorian, the Shaper of Dreams (Thomas Gideon) (and his dad)
Event build-up
Generation X #26-28
Bad times on a raft
Valuable lessons from the Xavier School
Yet another somewhat pointless Nightmare cameo
Jubilee vs. Operation Zero Tolerance
A good conversation
Cookin’ with Jubilee
Seagulls
Dreams
The Island that Chills Like a Man
Strong Guy on Krakoa
How (and whether) Logan ages
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about basketball. (Kind of.)
In which there’s a lot of good television out there; Shang-Chi says the title of the story at every possible opportunity; Wolverine is probably not a Deadhead; Sebastian Shaw thinks he’s a bigger deal than he is; and Operation Zero Tolerance officially begins.
X-PLAINED:
Storm’s ruby
X-Men #62-65
The Story So Far
Space LEGOs
Shang-Chi
Shang-Chi’s dad
An excellent fight scene
Word balloon placements
Agent Reston
Elixir Vitae
Several varyingly unexpected resurrections
Cyber Ninjas
Product placement for your own product
Bludgeon, Katana, Fist, and some other guy
Fujikawa Enterprises
Richard Fisk
Rambo heresay
Prime Sentinels
Children of Apocalypse
Carol Danvers substitutions
NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X floats on
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Colossus is good at friendship; nobody notices when Amanda Sefton disappears; evil peaked in the disco era; and Pete Wisdom had hot claws before it was cool.
X-PLAINED:
Fun times on Mount Wundagore
Excalibur #111-113
Rob Stotz
Brooding
Friendship
Rory Campbell (again)
The return of Sebastian Shaw
MIS departments
Two versions of the same conversation
A palette-swapped wardrobe
Invincible Head Technique
A polite murderer
Ogun, again
A brief possession
Mount Wundagore
Bova
Sir Ram
Ursula
Lord Gator
The Knights of Wundagore
Ace Duck
The High Evolutionary
Artistic turnover
A kiss
Were-girlfriends
A sin-filled and disreputable club
“Je Suis Rick Springfield”
Storylines we’d like to see from bystanders’ perspectives
Professor X’s crush on Marvel Girl
NEXT EPISODE: Shang-Chi!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
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In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.
X-PLAINED:
The time Captain America dated a supervillain
Treading water
Gene Nation (again)
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
Uncanny X-Men #345
Razors
Humanity’s Last Stand
Surprise
Boost and Tether
D’gard
A Star Trek allusion
The Morlock retcon
Maggott (Japheth)
A large metal individual
Foreshadowing
A large, inconvenient spaceship
Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
Recovery from the Legacy Virus
NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!
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HAWK TALK – Galaxy: The Prettiest Star
Sep 19, 2022
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor’s graphic novel, Galaxy: The Prettiest Star!
385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64
Sep 12, 2022
In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.
X-PLAINED:
X-Factor #134-135
Strong Guy Reborn #1
The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
Lady Cop
A contextually inappropriate pun
The Adversary (more) (again)
Why you use an air-gapped system
How not to fake your own death
Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
Rusty Trail
X-Factor X-Ploits
A lot of wasted potential
The Jorken-Kront war
Space stuff
Lila Cheney (more) (again)
Kreetor
Spiff’s Saucers
Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
The most useful and fun mutant powers
Musicals with Mister Sinister
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.
X-PLAINED:
X-Men Unlimited #15
X-Force #65-66
Mutant life post-Onslaught
Spinning editorial oversight into story
Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
How not to write the Friends of Humanity
The Marvel sex web
Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
Warpath (James Proudstar)
Risque (Gloria Munoz)
Clubbing with Risque
Wacky World
Sledge
Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The punch dimension
The physics of ice ramps
NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.
X-PLAINED:
Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race
NEXT EPISODE: Risque!
NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Brian Braddock has grown as a person; we remain unimpressed by the Crimson Dawn; Marvel discovers email; seven swords to two people is a pretty good ratio; everyone hates Spiral; and love may or may not save the world.
X-PLAINED:
Where Brian Braddock is these days
Excalibur #107-110
Post-Onslaught fallout
Excalibur (more) (again)
The difference an inker makes
Nigel McWhirter
A trip to London
Spiral (again)
Engineering outfits? I guess?
A machine which would be Cerebro
Several flashbacks
The most meta bike shorts
Time-travel safety
Forgotten characters who turned out to be secretly evil
A character moment that may actually be an art error
Shamrock (Molly Fitzgerald)
Email
The Dragons of the Crimson Dawn
A ghost
X-folks who knit
Best X-guest star moments
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Yet more Crimson Dawn
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In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.
X-PLAINED:
One way to end a wedding
X-Factor #130-133
Malice (again)
A thumb (and the biting thereof)
Barnes (and her hair)
The relative versatility of plasma
The Brotherhood
A ruse and/or retcon
Lighting design
A CD-ROM
The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
The last time you’re gonna see these
Trevor Chase (more)
One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
Brand names
Many faked deaths
Agent Bowser
A very fancy haunted house
X-Factor’s true calling
The X.S.E. (again)
Mutant shifts in adaptations
‘Nuff said
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!
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In which no one wants to be compared to Chris Bachalo; it’s always a holiday for Generation X; you may already be a Guthrie; M is a fascinating mystery; and Black Tom Cassidy (finally) makes his move.
X-PLAINED:
What Black Tom Cassidy is up to these days
Generation X #23-25
Generation X (again)
Seasons
Visual representations of Banshee’s powers
Several holidays
The Blue Ridge Mountains
A slumber party
Emplate (somewhat)
Bad times with Black Tom Cassidy
The apparent death of Emma Frost
What we do and don’t cover when
Leech on Krakoa
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Quits
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HAWK TALK – Joy
Jul 25, 2022
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Blindseer0.
In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.
X-PLAINED:
Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
The Shi’ar (again)
The Phalanx (again)
Uncanny X-Men #341-344
A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
A carriage ride
The Z’noxx chamber (again)
One way to have safer sex
FAO Schwarz
The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
Diplomacy, kind of
Space outfits
Trademarks
Pure Phalanx
Dinosaur Kingdom 2
Where Shi’ar babies come from
Flirting
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut
Jul 11, 2022
In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawl is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.
X-PLAINED
Several Juggernauts
Soap Operas
D’Spayre (again)
D’Spayre vs. Nightmare
Juggernaut #1
Generation X Annual 1997
Magical pants
Juggernaut (Cain Marko) and what he’s been up to lately
Incidental reptiles
Sirocco Sprawl, NM
Marvin T. Rocksalt
A spree of cartoonish destruction
Spite (again)
Black Tom Cassidy (again)
A really cool skeleton
Generation X novels
Several episodes we should probably do someday
A very poorly-drawn butt
The Hellions (more) (again)
One way to put out a fire
Garden Plots with Skeletor
Several nightmare scenarios
Alex Summers’s adoptive family
What would happen if Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau met Cameron Hodge
NEXT EPISODE: Space!
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377 – Sam Hill
Jul 04, 2022
In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike.
X-PLAINED:
Halloween Jack
Domino (Neena Thurman)
Domino #1-3
Milo Thurman
The idiomatic Sam Hill
Lady Deathstrike (again)
The Reavers (again)
Pico
Boot pouches
Puck (Eugene Judd)
Dante’s Beatrice
Several Skullbusters
Robot tits
The E.T. Atari game
One way to get out of saying “I love you”
Our unpopular favorites
NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre!
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HAWK TALK – The Voyage of the Mimi
Jun 27, 2022
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Chuck Reynolds.
In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction; and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.
X-PLAINED:
Blackbeard, somewhat
X-Force #63-64
X-Force & Cable Annual 1997
Life after Onslaught
Dimitri Fortunov
Dr. Doom’s time podium
New costumes
Liddleville
Latveria, 1941
Sturmfanger
Valkyrie (Brunhilde)
Aragorn (but not that one)
The Mutant Liberation Front (again) (briefly)
A large dog who may or may not have eaten a horse
Valkyries (more) (again)
What all the former New Mutants are up to
Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms (again)
Malekith the Accursed
Kindra the Dwarf (again)
Skadi the Frost Giant
Hela (again) (briefly)
Doctor Who analogs
What we miss about the Silver Age
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Domino goes solo!
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Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!
375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face
Jun 13, 2022
In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.
X-PLAINED
What Storm’s up to
X-Men Unlimited #7 (again) (briefly)
X-Men #60-61
X-Men Unlimited #14
Karima
Jamil
Candra (again)
A surprising absence of Howard Mackie
Candra’s heart
Some excessively complex psychic powers
Phylacteries
The origin of Storm’s romance with T’Challa
Kicks to the face as a unit of pain
Undercloaks
The alternate universe where the McCoys live in Indiana
The moppet squad (again)
Dunfee, IN
Yet another angry mob
Multiverse-variable powers
Favorite X-relationships
Correction: The Brandalorian let us know that “Phylacteries (tefillin) are not Chasidic; they’re a ritual object mentioned by the Torah, used by Jews of all sorts.” Apologies for our error, and we appreciate the correction!
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Asgard!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Frank Punisher is not a role model; Carl the X-Cutioner is not very good at secret identities; Miles tries his hand at poetry; and everything’s funny with a sidecar.
X-PLAINED:
Frankencastle
Frank Punisher and his cultural context
Punisher #12-16
Carl the X-Cutioner
S.H.I.E.L.D.
The New Mutant Liberation Front and several members thereof
William Connover (again)
Agynt Kymberly Taylor
Optimal sidecar use
Simon Trask
What it’s like to kiss Frank Punisher
Poor management technique
How we choose what to reveal when
The timeline where Magik is textually queer
NEXT EPISODE: The actual X-Men!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Andy Bartholomew.
In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.
X-PLAINED:
Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.
X-PLAINED:
Magneto (again)
The Acolytes (again)
Joseph (again)
Magneto #1-4
Amelia Voght (again)
Religious statuary
Razors
New Avalon
Magneto’s voice
How not to make a point
Armstrong
A Trask who may or may not be Simon
Weird torture
Peonies
A big, silly fight
Happy X-Men comics featuring Wolverine
The many nexuses of reality
NEXT EPISODE: Assassination!
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In which Douglock is Douglock; Kitty Pryde gets lost in nostalgia; it continues to suck to be Colossus; Professor Xavier is a jerk; the MLF makes one and only one valid point; Ben Raab’s Excalibur run begins; the Acolytes try to get the band back together; and the land mines are a metaphor that are also real land mines.
X-PLAINED:
Exodus
Excalibur #104-106
The current state of Excalibur
Douglock
B.P.R.D.
New Mutants #64 callbacks
Wolfsbane’s default form
Nostalgia
The Xavier Protocols (again)
The MLF (again)
The Mysterious Moonstar
Selby
The Prodigy
Character shifts between writers
Age of Jay and Miles
How not to write a letter in a comic book
Assless chaps
Land mines
Unuscione
Scanner
Mutant lawyers
Cyclops’s color vision
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, now with his own miniseries!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Play Comics.
370 – The Sound of Evil (feat. Max Carleton)
Apr 25, 2022
In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned.
X-PLAINED:
The Locust (Dr. August Hopper)
Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60
Genuine tragedy
Funereal fashion
Frederick “Amos” Duncan
The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again)
The Crimson Cosmos
Energy globules
Charles Xavier’s telepathy lending library
Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress
Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers)
Lorna Dane, fashion icon
Filially-obligated villainy
Psychic-delia
The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run
Suspension of disbelief
Pteranodons
Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd)
Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery
Miles’s favorite two-page spread
How to choose the perfect supervillain name
X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition
Our Silver Age X-creator wish list
Magnetism
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!
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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur
X-PLAINED:
Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we return to Rutland, Vermont; Emma Frost faces her salad demons; Banshee is not even supposed to be here today; no one should ever have to drive in New York City; Fenris is both evil and obnoxious; and we’re still not over that one Senator Kelly action figure.
X-PLAINED:
How to help us help queer and trans youth
Generation X #22
Generation X Annual 1996
Halloween with Generation X
Stag Beetle Magazine
X-casting Nicholas Cage
Neurotica
William Castle
Roger Corman’s Poe adaptations
Saturday morning cartoons
Weird gardening
Some very clever lettering tricks
Several humans
Train delays
Fenris
Mutagen Wave Generator
The Worst Action Figure (more) (again)
Robert the Ship
Our favorite Beast iterations
Abbreviations
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine and some other guys!
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Sometimes when the world’s a trash fire, it’s hard to figure out where to start. We talk activism, figuring out how you can help, and what we’re doing to fight back against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation in Florida.
In which Jay and guest X-Pert Connor Goldsmith explore approaches to podcasting about X-Men; difficult characters; costume preferences; our mutual mistrust of horses; owning our perspectives; and good on-ramps.
X-PLAINED:
The ghost of Madelyne Pryor
Cerebro (podcast)
Good Selene stories
Potential vs. payoff
Costume opinions
Fashion in comics
Horse problems
The Maple Hill Farm books
Science vs. magic
Learning to love X-Force
Speaking ~as~ vs. speaking ~for~
Twitter
The (fairly uncomplicated) ethics of liking things
Reading as a prosecutor
Catching up to the modern X-Men
Critical perspective
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X
Find links and further reading related to this episode on our blog!
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In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first.
X-PLAINED:
An off-panel death
X-Force #62
Beast #1-3
Karma’s family and backstory (again)
Twin absorption
MacGuffins and/or children
Clearcut and Mindmeld
Unconsciousness
Spiral (again)
Marios
What to do (visually) with six arms
Spiral’s mutates
Some very impressive body horror
MId-fight stalling
Misplaced revenge
Hank McCoy’s multiversal offspring
The history of Karma’s sexual orientation
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Connor Goldsmith X-Plain X-Plaining!
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In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.
X-PLAINED:
Where babies come from
The Shi’ar (again)
Cable/X-Force Annual 1996
X-Men Unlimited #13
Organs
Shi’ar ship names
Pulse
Unconventional use of the Danger Room
Butt-first framing
Interplanetary extradition
The word “contemplative”
Binary (again)
More Shi’ar ship names
Zenn-La
Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)
The Inciters
A giant metal space skull
Junction, NY
A metaphor for America
Marie Cavendish
Mutants with synthetics-based powers
Literary intersections
NEXT EPISODE: Beast!
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In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.
X-PLAINED:
Marvel’s KISS comics
Pryde and Wisdom #1-3
Age
Cheerful hissing
Jardine
A serial killer
Department F66/The Mystery School
Stoats
Kill Your Boyfriend
Several skeletons
Harold Wisdom
Serial disambiguation
Inconsistent use of inhibitor guns
Romany Wisdom
A man stone
Distinctive hair
Some woman who seems important but never gets a name or follow-up
John Gideon
The Tube
The inexplicable evolution of Romany Wisdom
How not to end your miniseries
Forgotten friendships
The relative odds of Cyclops having a good day
NEXT EPISODE: Space Adventures!
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In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.
X-PLAINED:
Levels of mutant power
Omicron-level mutations
Miles’s brief baseball career
Uncanny X-Men #338
X-Men #58
X-Men Annual 1996
Archangel’s wings
Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
Shadow teleportation
The errand theory of confession
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
“Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
Onslaught, but an anteater
A fight
Several JJJ cameos
X-baseball games
A highly atypical Sentinel
Several oblique warnings
X-Men ‘97
Media inspired by the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom
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In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.
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In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.
X-PLAINED:
Sabretooth’s ambitions
Sabretooth and Mystique #1-4
A Helicarrier heist
Hydra
AIM
The sounds of autopsies
How Mystique’s powers work, sometimes, kind of
Commander Cypher
Technosassins vs. Cyburai
Catalyst
Complimentary types of awful
Caption colors
Access
Gender dimorphism of monsters
The Comics Code Collar
Dismember and Corrosion
The time Cyclops offered to help Cable steal a spaceship
The Black Womb Project
NEXT EPISODE: bits ‘n’ bobs
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.
X-PLAINED:
John the Skrull
Excalibur #100-103
The current state of Excalibur
Black Air (again)
The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
Australia
Margali Szardos (more)
Demonic ethernet
Captain Britain’s new-old suit
Emma Steed
Dune
Several fights
Combat IT
Boolean definitions of madness
The Department
Laserdisks
Patriotism
Many doppelgangers
Nightcreeper
Another reference to Dante’s Inferno
NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense
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X-TRA: Jay, Miles, and Jonathan Hickman Spoil the Hell out of Inferno
Jan 06, 2022
Inferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we’ve got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman–unedited this time, so please forgive the audio–going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale! (Again, spoiler warning–we can’t emphasize this enough–we spoil Inferno, including its ending, real hard. Listen at your own risk.)
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends.
X-PLAINED:
How Logan got his adamanitum back (again)
Onslaught (briefly)
Uncanny X-Men #337
X-Men #57
Onslaught Epilogue #1
What we wish Onslaught had been
The anti-mutant agenda
Alarm clocks
Ruby quartz storage and cleaning
Optic-blast sound effects
Googol vs. google
Breakfast
A familiar cover homage
The semiotics of regret
Disappearance-montage photos
Accountability
Polychromatic world-building
Prisoner M-13
Prisoner M-9 (Nina)
The Manite Project
The Rainbow Bears
Renee Majcomb
Getting through Operation Zero Tolerance
Our favorite continuity tangles
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL (feat. Jonathan Hickman)
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In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.
X-PLAINED:
Heroes Reborn Return
Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
Onslaught so far
X-Men #56
Onslaught: Marvel Universe
Jay’s definitive Bond
Joseph (more)
The physical evolution of Onslaught
Sense of scale
Hawkeye (TV series)
Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
The three genders
A really big fight
A miracle of magnetism
The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
Beast’s scientific career
Chamber’s voice
NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans.
X-PLAINED:
The Clone Saga (briefly)
How not to dispose of a dead clone
Ben Reilly
Amazing Spider-Man #415
Spider-Man #72
Green Goblin #12
Punisher #11
Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals
Sentinel timing
Coffee shop AUs
Sentinels in Manhattan
Several fights with Sentinels
Green Goblin (Phil Urich)
Uncles Ben
The Lunatic Laugh
Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly)
Yet another helicarrier crash
The happiest cannon fodder
The Junkyard Dogs
Rashid Hammer Jones
The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage
Make-believe superpowers
Deadlines
NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight
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HAWK TALK – What A Long, Strange Hawk It’s Been
Dec 06, 2021
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.
In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.
X-PLAINED:
The Golden Archer
Wolverine #104-105
Generation X #18-19
Portions of Elektra’s deal
Stick
Wolverine’s nose
Gateway and Onslaught
Several flashbacks
The Onslaught goblin
Retcons and character accountability
A wet open
A somewhat atypical plane flight
Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
The mysterious DL
Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
Cooking with Emma Frost
Quasi-benevolent mind control
Surgeon
A bonus Shadowcat power
Digital invisibility
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.
X-PLAINED:
The Red Ghost
Onslaught thus far
X-Factor #126
Fantastic Four #416
X-Men Unlimited #12
Random’s origins (kind of)
Pinochle
Kristoff Vernard
Several villains
Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
Gomurr the Ancient (again)
Spite
Unreliable narrators
The evolution of Cyttorak
Wolverine’s hair
X-arcs we’d like to see as video games
NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.
CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)!
In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.
X-PLAINED:
The Phoenix Five
Onslaught thus far
The Incredible Hulk #445
Invincible Iron Man #332
Avengers #402
Pea Soup Hulk
Falcon’s late cousin Jim
The word “ebon”
Tunneling logistics
An uncomfortable lesson
Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
Fancy hats
Science Made Stupid
Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
Sneaking
Onslaught’s best epithet
The sound of heroism
Thor’s “shirt”
Headgear
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.
X-PLAINED:
Red Onslaught
Onslaught Phase 1
Uncanny X-Men #336
Cable #35
X-Man #19
X-Force #58
A large number of team-ups
Onslaught, but make it a seder
Watcher undercarriage
Onslaught’s second form
Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
Nate Grey vs. Sinister
A trap
Several flashbacks and fantasies
Symbolic roles within X-Force
What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!
In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.
X-PLAINED:
Excalibur #100
Fantastic Four #415
X-Factor #125
X-Men #55
Onslaught (more) (again)
The Xavier Protocols
The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
The Xavier Protocols
An extremely poor file-retrieval system
Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
Li’l Charlie
A circus, kind of
Lang disambiguation
Onslaught’s new look
Onslaught vs. several Avengers
An unlicensed rug
The only thing Bill Watterson loves
Metaphorical Turkish delight
The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
Dark Descendents
Hairy guns
Caps for Sale
A really big fight
A very dramatic EMP
Why Onslaught looks like that
NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!
“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.
CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!
349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers
Oct 11, 2021
In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.
X-PLAINED
Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
Cable #34
Incredible Hulk #444
X-Man #18
X-Force #57
Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
Ozymandias (more) (again)
Post (more) (again)
Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
Several Hulks
Behemoth
Cable/Storm
The Betty Conspiracy
Rocks that yell
Alpacalypse
Multiversal disambiguation
Some unlikely sound effects
An anti-Sinister failsafe
A self-destruct system
Warpath and Risque
A hug
A very specific Sentinel
Coming out in adulthood
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.
X-PLAINED:
Hyperstorm
Onslaught (entity)
Onslaught (event)
Uncanny X-Men #334
X-Men #54
Onslaught: X-Men #1
How to pronounce “Buccellato”
The opposite of a pep talk
Nate Grey vs. Professor X
The Z’noxx (again)
One of several times Charles Xavier has faked his own death
Muscle March
Franklin Richards
The Gem of Cyttorak
A villain speech
That one recording Bishop found in the future
The X-traitor
Li’l Charlie
Magneto’s hood ornament
Alternate takes on the X-traitor
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.
In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need.
X-PLAINED
Hyperstorm (kinda)
Wolverine #11-16
A very full week
What Wolverine has been up to
Madripoor
Several supporting cast members
“Patch”
Archie Corrigan
Burt Corrigan
Several things to do in San Francisco
Vampire humor
Ba’al
The Gehenna Stone
Penis bones
The Hand of God
Doomsday
Mutual fratricide
A midair brawl
Secret identity problems
Claw problems
Other metals with which one’s skeleton might be bonded
Bisecting Logan
Team-ups we’d like to see
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, honestly, we promise.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which author and friend of the podcast Douglas Wolk joins us to discuss his upcoming book All of the Marvels; his epic quest to read all Marvel Comics, ever; and what he learned along the way.
LINKS!
Preorder All of the Marvels from Books With Pictures via this form!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.
X-PLAINED:
Cross-franchise creative footprints
Collecting Star Trek in the ‘90s
Secret origins of Tina and Jay’s friendship
Star Trex
Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Second Contact
Star Trek: The Next Generation / X-Men: Planet X
Delta Vega
“Where No Man Has Gone Before”
The Shi’ar (again)
The relationship of Star Trek to the Marvel Universe
Earth-1701, which may or may not also be Earth-200500
Proteus (again)
A dubious date
First Contact
The Borg
Several temporal anomalies
The Traveler
Michael Jan Friedman
Xhaldia
Time Hooks and/or Chrono-compasses
Prune juice
Your new ship
The Drakkon
A simulated Charles Xavier
A Highland sex ghost, apparently?
NEXT EPISODE: All of the Marvels, with Douglas Wolk!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about large things.
In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.
X-PLAINED:
The deaths of several Worthingtons
X-Force #55-56
X-Men Unlimited #8
A legacy of explosions
Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
A heist
Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
Dum Dum Dugan
Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
The glory days off LASER tag
Church fights
Subtext
The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
How to pronounce “Risque”
Chris Bradley
Hans Jensen
Nostalgia goggles and their absence
Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
Asgard, Oklahoma
Annalee
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.”
X-PLAINED:
Jubilee’s aunt Hope
Generation X #15-17
Generation X (more) (again)
Emplates (more) (again)
An instance of possession
The Thomas family
Intersectional bias
Passing privilege
Narratively-determined technology
Giovanni the janitor
Synch vs. Mimic
An exceptionally slow-burn reveal
Possession as a vehicle for character development
The X-Cutioner (Carl Denti) (more) (again)
Metaphorical DNA
Fun times at the fair
Ruby quartz adaptive technology
Mutant names
NEXT EPISODE: Fun with flechettes!
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HAWK TALK – What We Blew Up On Our Summer Vacation
Jul 25, 2021
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.
In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; and you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.
X-PLAINED:
Some of Bishop’s further adventures
X.S.E. #1-4
The future, sort of
Earth-1191 (more) (again)
The X.S.E. (more) (again)
Lucas Bishop (more) (again)
Shard Bishop (more) (again)
Grandmother (who may or may not be Storm)
Hancock (who may or may not be Cyclops)
The deeply baffling Bishop family tree
The fallability of childhood memory
Exhumes
Dubious reclamation
Heca’te
The Witness (more) (again)
Trevor Fitzroy (more) (again)
Several potential continuity errors
Malcolm and Randall (more) (again)
Emplates
Shirley
Mexican-American mutants
A cross-media quote
NEXT EPISODE: The return of Carl the X-Cutioner
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In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.
X-PLAINED:
Some of Stryfe’s team-ups
Fatal Attractions (briefly)
X-Cutioner’s Song (briefly)
Genesis / Tolliver / Tyler Dayspring
Several other individuals named Genesis
Lost noses, historical and fictional
Uncanny X-Men #332
Wolverine #100-101
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996
Zoe Culloden (The Expediter)
Ozymandias
Wolverine, golden retriever
An Elektra cameo
Wild Thing
Bishop and Shard (again)
The return of Preacher
The Hound (again)
A reunion
Deplxelation
Krakoan team niches
What heroes do
NEXT: X.S.E.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.
X-PLAINED:
How Wolverine got his adamantium back
A marriage of convenience
X-Factor #122-124
Amalgam comics
A clever workaround
Several new looks
Belle Fourche (again)
Several ways to fail to control supervillains
The Hound
The Hazard Chamber
Different titles’ relationships to dark futures
Statting up Beast in D&D
Characters with more narrative impact dead than alive
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and guest hawk Tea Fougner talked about pirates.
You can find Tea at @teaberryblue on pretty much all of the social medias!
In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.
X-PLAINED:
Some countries Magneto has invaded
Excalibur #96-99
Black Air (more) (again)
The London branch of the Hellfire Club
Nightcrawler’s new look
Meggan’s new look
The return of Alistaire Stuart
How not to dress for the Hellfire Club
The Shadow Cabinet (a little)
Hacking
Agent Scratch
Avengers vs. Avengers
Addiction recovery
Accreditation of the Xavier School
Developing a library X-collection
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor’s increasingly low recruitment standards!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which writer Si Spurrier joins us to talk Nightcrawler, the unsustainability of Krakoa, bringing back Legion, the stuff growing on Dr. Nemesis’s head, Welsh accents, founding (and not founding) a mutant religion, and—yes—Onslaught.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; Bernard the Poet makes a comeback; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.
X-PLAINED:
Ravencroft vs. Ravenscroft
Unusual recording circumstances
ClanDestine #1-8
X-Men/ClanDestine #1-2
Destines including but not limited to:
Rory (Crimson Crusader)
Pandora (Imp)
Adam
Walter
Kay (Cuckoo)
Dominic (Hex)
Samantha (Argent)
Newton
Gracie Gamble
Elalyth
The Relative Stranger Protocol
Lenz
Dr. Hywel Griffin
GRYPHON
Earth-95710
Synraith
How normal people unwind
A dimensional rift and affiliated tentacles
How to draw sexy ladies without wrecking your comic
A big fight
X-sitters
The evolution of Hank McCoy’s personality
NEXT EPISODE: The Way of Si Spurrier
LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your takes on the ’90s stylings of Bernard the Poet to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, and we’ll publish ’em all in a deeply dubious poetic extravaganza!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.
Topics, roughly:
Fantasy wizards
Space wizards
Beards and wizards and gender
Vancian spellcasting
Wizard taxonomy
The Baal Shem
Book learnin’
Towers and Discworld wizards
Dragonlance wizards
Tolkien wizards
Iceman with a wizard beard
Which animals make the best wizards
Magic: the Gathering
Our wizardy D&D characters
334 – Genetic Nonsense
May 24, 2021
In which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves.
X-PLAINED:
What happened to William Stryker
Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic”
Emplate (again)
Generation X #12-14
Inks
Penance’s original backstory
Pining
A really unpleasant reunion
Accent problems
Gayle Edgerton
Vincente
Bulwark
D.O.A.
A somewhat chaotic victory
Mutant teams from non-anglophone countries
X-characters Miles would like to write
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK
NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
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In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.
X-PLAINED:
Post-Decimation resurrections
Owl legs
Uncanny X-Men #331
X-Men #51-52
Iceman’s complicated personal life
Casual crossovers
The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
What Mister Sinister sounds like
A bad plan
The debut of Bastion
DNA
Foreshadowing
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Swimsuit Catalog is not an actual style of martial arts; Onslaught dabbles in vandalism; Crule is a special guy; we identify briefly with X-Force; and Charles Xavier is the Keyser Soze of Onslaught.
X-PLAINED:
Externals on Krakoa
Relative levels of violence in X-books
X-Force #52-54
Camp Hayden, KY
Onslaught-facilitated power-ups
Gideon (again)
At least one apparent death
How it feels to be us
Businesswear
Whether Cannonball is an external
Nazis in the Captain Britain Corps
Doop
NEXT EPISODE: Sinister vs. Public Transit
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, in honor of the 1995 film’s 1337-week anniversary, we talked about the finest movie about technology ever made, Hackers.
Topics, roughly:
Hackers
Mister The Plague
What David Bowie and Angelina Jolie have in common
Razor & Blade
The glory of Matthew Lillard
Counterculture
Queer (sub)text
Focal characters
Jay’s sequel pitch
In retrospect, we should have talked way more about Phreak, played amazingly by Renoly Santiago. Sorry, Renoly! That’s what we get for doing Hawk Talk without our usual outlines.
In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat.
X-PLAINED:
Mutant Brood
The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas
X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2
Theological origins of John Ostrander
Hair
An unspoken motif in pin-up art
Reverend William Conover (more)(again)
Hannah Conover (more)(again)
The Brood (more)(again)
The Brood Empress
The Firstborn
Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics
Brood of the future
A strange angel
What Gambit’s trench coat is made of
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.
X-PLAINED:
How Betsy got her body back
Several simultaneous anniversaries
Uncanny X-Men #329-330
X-Men #50
Some ninja bullshit
A lot of less-benign-than-it-looks racism
Excellent use of a neon sign
An odd couple
The evolution of art tools
Steam vs. metal
Gomurr the Ancient
The Ebon Vein
Catastrophic magic
Our favorite iterations of Doctor Strange
The Crimson Dawn
How one becomes Gomurr the Ancient
Tar (Proctor of the Crimson Dawn)
Post (Herald of Onslaught)
An entity who may or may not be Onslaught
Continuity party tricks
Survivors of the Age of Apocalypse
NEXT EPISODE: Brood X!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.
X-PLAINED:
Nate Grey’s (possible) demon zombie baby
What Excalibur’s been up to lately
Excalibur #94-95
X-Man #12
Yet another take on roughly the same dark future
Dark-future disambiguation
Bangs
The Black Wall
Leather vs. vinyl
Sentinels pooping sentinels
Nate Grey (more) (again)
Gamma Flight
Excessively silly diagnostic technology
Squeezits(TM)
A minor intervention
X-characters most likely to lead a successful book club
Warlock on Krakoa
NEXT EPISODE: The Herald of Onslaught (for real, this time, we promise)!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet.
In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.
X-PLAINED:
Several colors of Beast
X-Men #48-49
X-Men Unlimited #10
The Floating Super Hero Poker Game
Large hands
Various refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Surge(TM)
Pam Greenwood (Fatale)
Many gratuitous murders
Iconic runs we’re not into
Generations of teen X-Men
NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!
NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey vs. Excalibur!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.
X-PLAINED:
X-Force #49-51
Haircuts
The return off Sebastian Shaw
Stansfield
A series of kidnappings
Solar-powered superpowers
Attempted murder
Memories
Cable as an audience surrogate
Tabitha’s new codename
The first Tick live-action series
Warpath’s running speed
Risqué
What gravity sounds like
X-leisure activities
Magneto’s human name/s
NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts
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In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.
X-PLAINED:
Skrulls in American history
X-Factor’s attrition rate
The spirit spell (again)
The Adversary (again)
X-Factor #119-121
Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
Oblivion vs. masturbation
Mark Trail (more) (again)
Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
The death of X-Factor
Several retcons
The resurrection of X-Factor
(Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
The Feron of X-Factor
Val ‘n’ Victor
Dubious use of technology
A red herring
The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
Our tech issues
Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School
NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.
X-PLAINED:
Bloodscream (again)
X-Force/Cable Annual 1995
Spider-Man Team-Up #1
X-Men Unlimited #9
The Impossible Man (and his slacker kids)
The Clone Saga
Benedict Kine
A really superlative insult
The continuity box
Still more Bloodscream
30-50 feral hogs
GHOST PIRACY
Belasco (more)(again)
The N’garai (more) (again)
A follow-up to a mystery from Episode #323
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. the Adversary
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In which Cordelia Frost is a terrible friend; Mondo is better than the story arcs that surround him; and we’d really love to see a series about Sean Cassidy’s super groovy past.
X-PLAINED:
The one who got away
Generation X Annual 1995
Generation X #10-11
A failed seduction attempt
Mondo and a plant-based facsimile thereof
An emergency
The very personal and private journal of Monet St. Croix
A party
Omega Red (again)
Sean Cassidy’s Interpol days
An unlikely informant
A somewhat surreal monitoring system
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki
NEXT EPISODE: GHOST PIRATES!
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In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.
X-PLAINED:
Fun with blood
The X-Babies
Mojo
Pint-Sized X-Babies #1
X-Babies Reborn #1
X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1-4
The Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies
X-Baby nomenclature
The Pix
Hell’s Kitchen
The Wildways (more) (again)
Monkey Wagon
Bubblefield
Marshmallow Marsh
Gamesboro
The Textbook Sisters
The ‘Vengers
A transformation
Mr. Veech
Nandy
Star Comics and several characters therefrom
The Adorable X-Babies
Our opinions on the mid-‘90s
Welcome to Westview
NEXT EPISODE: X-Teens!
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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about vegetables. Kind of.
In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.
X-PLAINED:
Inconsistent quality
X-Men #46-47
Uncanny X-Men #327
The X-Babies (more) (again)
Sfogliatelle
Gog
Gog’n’Magog
Politics of the Mojoverse
Personhood of constructed entities
What makes an X-Babies story work
Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
Age-appropriate literature
Fictional books
Fun with Bishop
Several restaurants
Hypothetical casting
What Magneto’s been up to
Joseph
Sister Maria
Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
Amnesia
Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
A cross-media friendship
True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee
NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK
THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES
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In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.
X-PLAINED:
Sabretooth (more) (again)
X-Force #48
Uncanny X-Men #328
Sabretooth Special #1
Bunny slippers
An intervention
Stages of grief
What not to do with Sabretooth
An evil squirrel
Onions
The three genders
Mutant Massacre callbacks
Caption disambiguation problems
The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species
NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!
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In which Pete Wisdom is the guy you love to glare at; Nightcrawler is right (and a delightfully complex individual); Colossus has a lot of issues; and Wolfsbane gets the confrontation we’ve been waiting for since the New Mutants graphic novel.
X-PLAINED:
Wolfsbane’s powers
Excalibur #91-93
The somewhat nebulous age of Kitty Pryde
Betrayal
What’s been up on Muir Isle
Organized sports, Excalibur-style
Pubs and what happens in them
Drinking with Excalibur
Shovel talks
Phonetic accents, redeemed
A fairly one-sided fight
Colossus’s issues (more) (again)
Anatomy and physiology of organic steel
Accountability, trauma, and their intersections
An exceptionally cathartic confrontation
A hoodie Jay desperately wants
Where cold opens come from
Whether and how Gambit passes for human
NEXT EPISODE: Same Sabretooth, different day
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In which Jay and Miles receive a mysterious missive and are visited by three of our favorite X-writers; Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix is a pleasant surprise; Nathaniel Essex is the most dramatic man in the Marvel Universe; the sewers of Victorian London were a happenin’ place; Apocalypse isn’t even French; Beast is the flip-side of Sinister; community is for everyone; the Internet is (kind of) Krakoa; and death is fixable, but trauma might take a little more work.
X-PLAINED:
A quotation
Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
A closed loop
Time travel with Scott Summers and Jean Grey
Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex)
A somewhat excessive visual aid
Beards
Cootie Tremble
The cultural context of sideshows
The first Marauders and/or Nasty Boys
Victorian Apocalypse
Strained allegories
Sanctity
Apocalypse vs. the Hellfire Club
Oscar the Somewhat Less Nasty Boy
Varyingly anachronistic costuming
The secret origin of ruby quartz
A very vague objective
A makeover
A closed time loop
Actual Cat Wizard Jonathan Hickman
Something Jay is not in fact going to pitch to Marvel
Creative dynamics and processes in the current X-line
Revolutionary joy
What’s cooler than one sword
The Sixth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a break
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets several Peters and a wolf!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked (exhaustedly) about This Freaking Year.
Topics, roughly:
This year was pretty rough
Maybe next year will be better?
Some things are cool, though
NOTE: Miles watched Knives Out immediately after recording this episode, and Jay was right: it is delightful.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.
X-PLAINED:
Ghost Rider (film)
Nicholas Cage
Rogue and Gambit
X-Men #45
Uncanny X-Men #326
Uncanny X-MenAnnual 1995
A gratuitous gatefold
Alliteration vs. consonance
Osmium
Fancy captions
Aesthetics
Shorts
Gambit vs. Sabretooth
Questionable medical policy
AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
Humanity’s Last Stand
Guthries
Preacher
The evolution of killer robots
Superhero-musician team-ups
Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal
NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
HAWK TALK – Surviving the (Holiday) Experience
Nov 29, 2020
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about holidays, winter and otherwise.
Topics, roughly:
Time, which used to make sense
Several holidays and feelings, media, and traditions related thereto
Flash Gordon
Mixed-faith families
A New York Christmas Wedding (the lesbian time travel gay dead baby angel movie)
Gingerbread
Secular rituals
Night in the Woods: Lost Constellation
The Dark is Rising (again)
The Spirit of Christmas (which is to say, exploding)
J. Michael Strazynski’s The Real Ghostbusters
Community‘s first three holiday specials
Justice League: Comfort & Joy
Passover and that time Moses gave Pharaoh a frog
Passover and Miles trying very hard to play it cool
In which Jay and/or patriarchy ruin everything; Archangel is dubiously aspirational; we need a moratorium on Jack the Ripper stories; there are a lot of Masterminds; and Arcade is a whole bundle of psychosexual weirdness.
X-PLAINED:
Tom Malverne (Jack the Ripper)
Lunch
Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1-4
Loeb & Sale
Jack the Ripper in fiction
Alexandra Davies
Fun on international flights
That one time Jay thought the NSA was going to come for him
Martinique Wyngarde (Mastermind II)
Mastermind, Mastermind, and Lady Mastermind disambiguation
Collateral damage
Various Dies Hard
Several heists
Several hallucinations
Variations on the death of Miss Locke
Problematic third brothers
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.
X-PLAINED:
Chaos (Daniel Dash)
Pie
Power suits vs. power suits
X-Factor #115-118
Haven (more) (again)
The Adversary (more) (again)
Naze (more) (again)
Several people who may or may not be holograms
One of Jay’s all-time-favorite single issues
Howard Mackie
Wally Wood’s 22 Panels
The Summers Family plane crash
Cyclops and Havok’s relationship
Havok’s Silver Age origins
Trans readings of Alex Summers
Shard (more) (again)
Canadian drama
A trap
The return of Random
Roma (again)
Mojoworlders on social media
Which X-teens should be audience surrogates in a new animated series
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine & Gambit!
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In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.
X-PLAINED:
Storm’s pirate adventures
Storm #1-4
Mark Trail
The Morlocks (more) (again)
Unacceptable gradients
Butt murder
Fashion
Several memes of yesteryear
Product placement
The new Worst Panel
Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
How not to identify a body
The Hill (Limbo)
“Daddy”
The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
Still more members of Gene Nation
A new costume
The most obscure stories we’ve covered
That time Wolverine at his own arm
NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.
X-PLAINED:
Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
311
Yet another structure for annuals
X-Men Annual 1995
Uncanny X-Men #325
Serious academic discussions
Faye Livingstone
Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
Teenage optimism
An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
A Hank McCoy that might have been
Friendship
Fraternal correspondence
Romance
Morlocks
The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
Gene Nation
A really excessive cover
An intergenerational baseball game
Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
X-horror
Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching
NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we take a substantial detour; Minipax is no Raul Julia; Corsair tries (and fails) to retire; everything is cooler in space; vengeance is more of a vocation than a career; the Starjammers win an intergalactic war with a slide show; and we pitch some television.
X-PLAINED:
Mister Sinister’s X-Gene
A detour
Space Cabbie
Starjammers #1-4
The Starjammers (more) (again)
Magneto vs. Magento
Several major galactic powers
Shi’ar religion
Sharra and K’ythri
The Uncreated (again)
Cephied variables
Standing Still
T’Cahr/Minipax
Ship names
Mustache fights
Collapsars
Corsair’s garden
Chaff mirror throwers
Several character developments which later will be ignored
A frustratingly pat resolution
Longshot vs. Domino
X-books and teams we’d like to see adapted for television
NEXT EPISODE: Sewer Knife Fight: The Sequel
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about our current, and Jay’s favorite, season.
In which ballistics get weird; Black Air is no W.H.O.; we have surprisingly mixed feelings about Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde as a couple; there is an actual creepy clown bar in Portland; blood eagles are excessively ostentatious; the Uncreated just want to be cool; and Rory Campbell continues his descent into supervillainy.
X-PLAINED:
The Forever Man
Turner D. Century
Excalibur #87-90
Excalibur (more) (again)
Genosha (more) (again)
Some extremely confusing bullets
Philip Moreau
Jenny Ransome
Black Air
Dream Nails
Spy bars
Foundations of Kitty Pryde and Pete Wisdom’s relationship
Captions
Work/life separation
A creepy clown bar
Easy Tiger
Blood eagles
Shrine
A virus and/or bacteria
The Uncreated
Gor the God-Butcher
Data security
Rory Campbell vs. Spoor
How the X-Men got their name
Terrigen toxicity
NEXT EPISODE: Starjammers!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which writing X-books requires a somewhat different approach to continuity than writing about them; time is weird; Jay overthinks fictional publications; Scott Summers is (at least sometimes) Autistic; Sinister is not subtle; and no story is the whole story.
X-PLAINED:
Marvels
Marvels Snapshots
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1
Why Cyclops is worth caring about
Collaboration
Fictional publications
Intent vs. ownership of characters
Research
The difference between writing X-books and writing about X-books
The irreconcilable continuity tangle of Scott Summers’s childhood
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.
X-PLAINED:
One way to get your powers back
Cable #15
Generation X #5-6
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
Cable, in general
A date
“Sheer” fabrics
What we’d bring to desert islands
Sarah (Marrow)
The Ceremony of Light
Several generations of mutant teenagers
Generation X and its members (more) (again)
Chamber’s socks
Gateway’s taste in television
Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
Some cool lettering
Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
Fridge wolves
NYC celebrity encounters
The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
Teenagers
Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
The return of Artie and Leech
Bones
How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU
NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
HAWK TALK – Playing With Super Power (feat. Matthew Hunter)
Sep 07, 2020
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, our producer Matthew Hunter subbed in for Jay and he and Miles talked about the video games they grew up on!
In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.
X-PLAINED:
Tarzan fandom
X-Man, summarized
Uncanny X-Men #322-324
Color as a narrative tool
The evolution of Storm’s shower etiquette
How not to relax with Lucas Bishop
Seat-of-the-pants plotting
Parenting
Noah Dubois, sort of
A road trip
Sexiness vs. sexualization
Emma Frost as Caprica Six
How not to walk a supervillain
Cannonball’s uniform
Sack
Vessel
Greycrow (more) (again)
The worst morgue and/or disco ever
Edna and Norton McCoy
Times Rogue has absorbed Colossus’s powers
X-Men: Marvels Snapshot
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which X-Factor gets its own roster shakeup; most bartenders will look at you funny if you order a flight of superheroes; Kaboom is a great name for a nightclub; we lack significant feelings about the clone saga; Yukio probably sends love to everyone’s girlfriends; Forge has terrible coping mechanisms; and Jay’s current life is not conducive to consistent acoustics (sorry!).
X-PLAINED:
Mystique’s powers
X-Factor’s new roster
X-Factor #112-114
The word “wreak”
The issue that made Miles stop reading X-Men
Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
Wolverine as a role
Cyburai (more) (again)
Unethical management practices
One way to be drunk on power(s)
Scarlett McKenzie (again)
Club Kaboom
Yukio (again)
Fatale
Summers Problems(TM)
Marvel’s 1996 reader survey
A bondage harness that may or may not be made out of dryer tubing
Alex Summers vs. his own powers
Sugar Man in the 616
Several potential but unexplored story hooks for Scarlett
An implausible implant
Mystique’s new costume
A deeply dysfunctional but narratively plausible ship
A Random tangent
RPF on Earth-616
Forge vs. Tony Stark
NEXT EPISODE: Things get Uncanny!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Jay discovers a continuity loop; phonetic spelling reaches a new level of implausibility; it’s always already Onslaught; X-Force’s roster gets shaken up; Siryn goes undercover; and the Upstarts remain vaguely plot-relevant despite our fervent wishes.
X-PLAINED:
Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
Wing problems
X-Force #45-47
One of Adam Pollina’s more remarkable non-Marvel art credits
One of many homages to the cover of X-Men #138
X-Force, its members, and its recent history
Phonetic spelling
Warpath’s hair
Baffling managerial decisions
Whether Reed Richards is machine washable
Many pouches
An unlikely friendship
Sabretooth’s state of mind
Rutland, VT
The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane
Dr. Rachel Weisman
Jeremy Stevens
Part of why we like following X-books over time
Character redesigns
CORRECTION: In addition to being the setting of a number of 1970s Marvel and DC stories, Rutland, VT is actually a real place with a famous annual (and largely superhero-themed) Halloween parade!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the movies we grew up on!
Topics, roughly:
The glories of VHS
Flight of Dragons
Fantastic Planet
Star(s), both Wars and Trek
The Princess Bride, which is objectively perfect
The Dark Crystal
My Dinner With Andre (again)
The Crow
Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy
Help
Yellow Submarine
Wayne & Garth & Bill & Ted
Defending Your Life
Ghostbusters
Various musicals
303 – No Simple Answers, feat. Laura Hudson
Aug 03, 2020
In which writer and editor Laura Hudson joins us as we take a break from X-Men comics to discuss the complicated ethics of consuming and covering comics by creators we’re not comfortable promoting.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which you should probably not mess with space junk; Exodus is terrible at many things; Rusty Collins deserved better; X-Men #100 references are dirty (but effective) pool; Magneto goes through a lot of orbital bases; Nate Grey makes things worse; Frenzy is generally the most competent member of any team she’s on; and we sincerely regret not making more Satellite of Love jokes about Avalon.
X-PLAINED:
Consequences
The foundations of Onslaught
X-Men #42-44
The Acolytes (more) (again) and several members thereof
How not to toast
Milan
A teleportation incident
Juggernaut problems
A break-in
Several things not to do in space
Prioritizing problems
A very dramatic confrontation
X-Men #100 references
An extremely counterintuitive use of Amelia Voght’s powers
The return of Cyclops’s castaway uniform
A reluctant team-up
Cyclops as catalyst vs. focus
An unexpected reunion
Marrow
Determining characters’ ages
Dazzler’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: The ethical tangle of creators, creations, consumers, and critics, with guest Laura Hudson
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.
X-PLAINED:
Joseph’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Our new theme music
X-Men Prime #1
A genuinely cool cover gimmick
What happened after the end of the world
Boundaries
War crimes vs. fashion crimes
Destruction of real landmarks in fiction
A mysterious assailant
Actual embodied chaos god Jim Davis and his Earth-616 namesake
Several memorable Garfield stories
Marrow (Sarah Rushman)
The secret origin of the Morlocks
A friendship we miss
Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The perennially dubious journalistic ethics of Trish Tilby
Dennis
The death of Dennis
Flaws of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Several refugees from Earth-295
Mr. Summers and Mr. Summers
The secret origin of the Genoshan mutates
The Acolytes
The continuing relevance of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Cross-universe characterization
NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon!
NOTE: The Garfield strips Jay mentions appeared in newspapers, on purpose, in October 1989.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
HAWK TALK – Attack of the Franchise Cartoons
Jul 12, 2020
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the television shows we grew up on (and a few current ones)!
Topics, roughly:
Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
Masters of the Universe
She-Ra
The Real (vs. non-Real) Ghostbusters
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Little Shop of Horrors
Beetlejuice
Toxic Crusaders
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
The Adventures of Pete & Pete (and the not-so-secret origin of this podcast)
Les Schtroumpfs (and the time they maybe fought Satan)
Batman: The Animated Series
X-Men: The Animated Series
X-Men: Evolution
Wolverine & the X-Men
The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour
The X-Files
Star Trek: Voyager
Earth 2
VR5
M.A.N.T.I.S.
The Simpsons
Daria
Tuca & Bertie
Gravity Falls
Over the Garden Wall
You can check out Waiting for October, our zine based on The Adventures of Pete & Pete, on Gumroad!
In which the Age of Apocalypse comes to an end; Angel briefly lives up to his potential; Bishop was sometimes right; It’s not a climactic ending without an X-Men #137 reference; Colossus breaks our hearts; X-Men: Marvels Snapshot will be out in September; and somehow we have made 300 of these things.
X-PLAINED:
Beast vs. Dark Beast
X-Men: Omega
The entirety of the (first) Age of Apocalypse
Potpourri vs. incense
Dramatic hair
Many, many errors
Unforeseen consequences
A long-anticipated team-up
Many deaths
Art as artifact
Narration that has haunted Jay for 20 years
One of the more persistent deaths of David Haller
Blast Attack
The end of a world
Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Our favorite X-milestone issues
Theoretical teams
Orphans
When X-Men: Marvels Snapshot is actually coming out
Our favorite show bits
How Jay’s chickens-in-law are doing
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Prime
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which some universes are more pleasant than others; Havok is basically a Care Bear; Wolverine is a P.R. nightmare; Nate Grey tries; stealth is not among the Silver Surfer’s strengths; Night Thrasher ascends to godhood; Jay and Miles dive down the What If rabbit hole.
X-PLAINED:
Earth-200500 (again)
Earth-42409
What If? vol. 2 #77
What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse
What If? vol. 2 #81
Earth-77995
Fashion editorials
One of the worse versions of Forge
Superheroes x fashion
Care Bears vs. X-Men
The Hellfire Club of Earth-77995
A surprisingly normal Grey-Summers family
Several uses for the Phoenix Force
Worst-case scenarios
Earth-93074
Savage Land home ec
Bad choices
The Defenders of Earth-93074
How to manipulate Nate Grey
Narrative benefits of omnipotence
A time loop
Earth-9601
A meeting on the moon
What the Watcher watches
Galactus
The Silver Surfer
Grandpa Magneto
Some remarkable technology
A heavy-handed metaphor
Our takes on What If scenarios
The Corbeau-Grey scale of decision making
Storm’s eyes
Our character voices
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Omega
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.
X-PLAINED:
J. Jonah Jameson’s stance on mutants
A way to get cool stuff AND support Trans Lifeline
X-Universe #1-2
Gwen Stacy (Earth-295)
Some really obnoxious white savior tropes
The Marauders (Earth-295)
How to waste Arcade
Spider-nostalgia
Owl noises
Tony Stark (Earth-295)
Clint Barton and/or James Rhodes (Earth-295)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-616)
Dr. Donald Blake (Earth-295)
Blark
Mikhail Rasputin (Earth-295)
Ship, but not Ship
Ben Grimm (Earth-295)
Sue Storm (Earth-295)
Bruce Banner (Earth-295)
A great many overplayed references
Matt Murdock (Earth-295)
Manuel de la Rocha (Earth-295)
Victor Von Doom (Earth-295)
Marte and Rafe McGuffin
The Upscale Program
A very hazardous plan
The Stryfe Force
The dreams of Donald Blake
A red herring named Frankie
Augmented humans in a mutant-centric world
How Wolverine communicates with animals
How Professor X lost his hair
NEXT EPISODE: What-ifs and might-have-beens!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.
X-PLAINED:
Just how powerful Nate Grey is
X-Man’s somewhat baffling ongoing appeal
X-Man #1-4
A theater company
The Best Forge (Earth-295)
Toad (Earth-295)
Sauron (Earth-295)
Brute (Earth-295)
An extended Tom Stoppard allusion
“Essex”
Domino (Earth-295)
Theater in and as resistance
An ineffectual ruse
A lot of death
Caliban (Earth-295)
A family reunion
The story we really wanted out of this series
The X-Man ongoing series
Chronically missing New Mutants
X-arcs we’d like to see animated
NEXT EPISODE: X-Universe!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.
X-PLAINED:
An unlikely team-up
Relative amazingness
Amazing X-Men #1-5
Color separations
Comics credits
The Brotherhood of Mutants and/or Chaos
The Great Human Airlift
Exodus (more) (again)
Best Quicksilver (Earth-295)
Abyss
A dubiously aerodynamic cape
One last job
Several points of semantic distinction
Lone Nanny & Cub
The most punchable man on Earth-295
A difficult choice
What it means to be X-Men
Dick Valentine
Jamie Madrox (Earth-295)
A world without superheroes
Universe numbering
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!
CORRECTION: The line about fence-straddling that Jay attributed to Wonder Woman was in fact spoken by Hawkgirl.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
HAWK TALK – Florida Mans
May 24, 2020
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about a whole bunch of random topics suggested by you!
In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealing; and Apocalypse is not a tactician.
X-PLAINED:
How Magneto got his own country
A numerical convergence
Earth-295
Gambit and the X-Ternals #1-4
X-Ternals
The human resistance
The Temple of Human Redress
A terrible way to celebrate your birthday
Lila Cheney of Earth-295
The Nuclear Naked
Super Doctor Astronaut (mermaid) Peter Corbeau of Earth-295
Julio Richter (Earth-295)
Mudir
Homage
Cross-timeline vocabulary
Cosmic peril
The state of the Shi’ar Empire in Earth-295
The Starjammers of Earth-295
Varyingly versatile energy absorption
Jahf
An exchange
Some fancy sewers
Guido Carosella’s devil’s bargains
Earth-295… IN SPACE
The nominal justification for Apocalypse’s society
Which Apocalypse is currently running around Earth-616
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!
NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” might be pushing it. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can’t be “real” literature.
X-PLAINED:
Damask
X-Calibre #1-4
Switchback
Cain Marko of Earth-295
Avalon
Destiny of Earth-295
Nightcrawler of Earth-295
Ghost Dance (actual)
Ghost Dance (fictional)
John Proudstar of Earth-295
The Infernal Gallop vs. the Infernal Galop
Moonstar of Earth-295
Dead Man Wade
The Pale Riders
Videoconferencing software of Earth-295
The Excalibur
Walter Newell
Callisto of Earth-295
A lot of murders
A really dark historical precedent
Parenthood
Death by existential crisis
The worst plan
Variations on the death of Doug Ramsey
Geography of the Age of Apocalypse
The rest of the Marvel books during the Age of Apocalypse
Jay vs. Western canon
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit and the X-Ternals
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.
X-PLAINED:
Generation Next #1-4
The tradition of YA horror in X-books
Bachalo unchained
Whose fault the Age of Apocalypse is
Adaptive technology vs. Apocalypse
Chamber of Earth-295
Husk of Earth-295
Skin of Earth-295
Mondo of Earth-295
Vincente Cimetta
Know-It-All (Claudia)
An abysmal training exercise
Colossus of Earth-295
Shadowcat of Earth-295
Gardner Monroe (Flashback)
Quietus
Sugar Man
The Portland and/or Seattle Core
Illyana Rasputin
Ace
Human collaborators
A gratuitous Monty Python reference
The difference between mass and volume
Number Six
The fall of Generation Next
Growing up in the Age of Apocalypse
Illyana 2.0
Subtext vs. queerbaiting
NEXT EPISODE: X-Calibre!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talk about the (non-comic) books we grew up on!
Books we mentioned, alphabetical by author:
The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams
Start with: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
Start with: The Book of Three
The Magic of Xanth by Piers Anthony
Start with: A Spell for Chameleon
Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony
Start with: On a Pale Horse
Letters to Jenny by Piers Anthony
Lots of stuff by Dave Barry
Start with: The World According to Dave Barry or any other book
Midnight Hour Encores by Bruce Brooks
The Shannara series by Terry Brooks
Start with: The Sword of Shannara
The Magic Kingdom of Landover series by Terry Brooks
Start with: Magic Kingdom for Sale – SOLD!
Ender’s Game series by Orson Scott Card
Start with: Ender’s Game
The Dark is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper
Start with: Over Sea, Under Stone
(But you might want to start with the second book The Dark Is Rising instead and then go back)
Bored of the Rings by Harvard Lampoon
The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey
Start with: Dragonflight, or Dragonsinger works too
The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley
Lots of stuff by Cristopher Moore
Start with: Island of the Sequined Love Nun or any other book
He, She, and It by Marge Piercey
Lots of stuff by Tom Robbins
Start with: Another Roadside Attraction or any other book
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
Dragonlance series by Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman, etc.
Start with: Chronicles, Book 1: Dragons of Autumn Twilight
In which it is probably not actually possible to be too nasty for Earth-295; Sinister is on nobody’s side but his own; Vulcan is still the worst Summers in the multiverse; the Bedlam Brothers are too delightful for the EMF; Heaven is just straight-up Rick’s Bar now; Polaris of Earth-295 is the saddest Polaris; Scott Summers and Jean Grey make a good team in most universes; and the metaphors of 1995 read very differently in 2020.
X-PLAINED:
Nathaniel Essex of Earth-1610
A regrettable tattoo
#Creators4Comics
Scott Summers (Cyclops) of Earth-295
Alex Summers (Havok) of Earth-295
Factor X #1-4
Working for the Man
Costume design as narrative
The EMF (Elite Mutant Force)
Northstar and Aurora of Earth-295
Sam and Elizabeth Guthrie (Cannonball and Amazon) of Earth-295
Jesse and Terrence Aaronson (Bedlam Brothers) of Earth-295
Heaven (the bar)
Scarlett McKenzie of Earth-295
Someone who is not Magneto
The Brain Trust
Lorna Dane (Polaris) of Earth-295
An obscene monument
Innuendo of several sorts
That time Jean Grey got captured
Resistance of various sorts
Poetic almost-kinda justice
One more fallen angel
Villains of the Age of Apocalypse
NEXT EPISODE: Generation Next!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.
X-PLAINED:
Weapon X (Logan)
Weapon X #1-4
Irony
Coordinating costumes to tattoos (and vice versa)
How to ride a sentinel
Apocalypse’s sea wall
Mutant power classifications
The mass human evacuation
Nuclear war
Magma
A load of malarkey
Interactions of telepathy and PTSD
The Pretty Boys of Earth-295
How not to jump out of a zeppelin
What Carol Danvers smells like
Gateway (Earth-295)
An exceptionally high-tech guilt trip
Unconventional navigation
Character transformations between universes
The complex conundrum of Jean Grey
When humans became aware about mutants
Logan’s D&D alignment
Our own D&D character histories
NEXT EPISODE: Factor X!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
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In which it’s kind of a relief to be talking about a fictional apocalypse right now; Joe Madureira defines the look of the mid-late 1990s; Sunfire is less cheesecake than crepes Suzette; it all comes back to capes; Wild Child is more than he seems; Holocaust sucks about as much as you’d expect of someone who picked that code name; Jay has surprisingly strong feelings about Morph; Miles is all about judging some babies; resistance is fundamental to the X-Men’s identity within a superhero-universe paradigm; nobody deserves to be quarantined with Quentin Quire; and our two-week lead is making proofing these podcasts an increasingly surreal experience.
X-PLAINED:
Several things Blink might have done but did not.
The status quo as of mid-March, 2020
Earth-295 (more) (again)
Astonishing X-Men #1-4
Our coverage of the core Age of Apocalypse series
Age of Apocalypse as proof of concept
The best character design of Earth-295
Some guy named Rex
A lake of blood which may or may not be figurative
Sabretooth’s last-ish stand
The revolutionary value of silliness
Jay’s favorite Orwell quote
The Infinite Processing Plant
DefCon Armageddon
A very cool fight scene
Catharsis
Mutants without the metaphor
Best and worst X-Men to be quarantined with
NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!
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Normally, this would be a skip week and there wouldn’t be an episode – but things are pretty weird in the world right now. Let’s talk X-Men comfort reads – with bonus complete lack of editing!
In which this episode is way more topical than it was when we recorded it; Apocalypse makes a terrible Statue of Liberty; there are no reliable narrators; Robbie Robertson and Carmen Sandiego are your new OTP; Emplate is creepy in any universe; lawful evil is still evil; and partial universe reboots come with some fairly silly problems.
X-PLAINED:
Awkward intersections of fiction and reality
Pandemic (Dr. Richard Palance)
Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines
Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light
Brooding in multiple ways at once.
Corsair (Christopher Summers) (Earth-295)
Reconciling cross-universe timelines
The Shi’ar (Earth-295)
Comparative Summers Backstory
Robbie Robertson (Earth-295)
Northstar and Aurora (Earth-295)
Emplate and the Monets (Earth-295)
The Bedlam Brothers (Earth-295)
Brood problems
The most awkward Summers family reunion to date
The Absorbing Man (Earth-295)
Diablo (Earth-295)
Senator Robert Kelly (Earth-295)
The fall of the Guthrie family
An early era of Magneto’s X-Men
A trip to the moon
Death (Maximus Boltagon)
Whether the Beyonder of Earth-295 knows how to poop
Listening to this podcast with kids
NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!
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In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.
X-PLAINED:
The other Magnus
Synchronicity
Earth-295 (more) (again)
X-Men Chronicles #1-2
Selective backstory
Magneto’s hair
Wundagore Mountain
Aesthetics of the Age of Apocalypse
The X-Men of Earth-295
Magneto’s pedagogy
More miscellaneous horsemen
Weapon X (Logan)
Cape Citadel, revisited
The death of the Scarlet Witch
Disaster Bisexual Gambit
Wolverine (but not that one)
Punks who may or may not also be scrimshanders
Emotionally well-adjusted Quicksilver
Further miracles of magnetism
The narrative power of evocation
Age of Somebody Else
Jay and Miles of Earth-295
NEXT EPISODE: Summers Family Reunions somehow get even worse.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.
X-PLAINED:
The Maker (Reed Richards of Earth-1610)
Jay & Miles at ECCC and FlameCon 2020
Stuff Jay writes
Excalibur #86
X-Force #43
Cable #20
Black Air
Pete Wisdom
What’s been up in Genosha
The Midnight Runner
Navigating Kitty Pryde’s age in Excalibur
A very abrupt ending
The ongoing evolution of X-Force
Locus’s new look
Clubbing with Rictor and Shatterstar
Legion Quest so far
Complicated feelings at the end of the world
A reunion
Where it all started
Vague power sets
Complicated feelings about Dawn of X
The new podcast schedule
NEXT EPISODE: The Age of Apocalypse
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
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In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.
X-PLAINED:
Balls
Legion (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men 320-321
X-Men #40
Establishing stakes
Slang of the mid-1990s
Time travel as a dick move
Issues vs. episodes
The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
Hebrew vowels
Latent time travel abilities
Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
An exceptional caption
A very bad narrative choice
The death of Charles Francis Xavier
A load-bearing moment in time
Jahf the Guardian
Waiting for the end of the world
The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
The many Krakoas
Integrating Legion into Dawn of X
NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.
X-PLAINED:
How Betsy Braddock got her original body back
Marvel Snapshots: X-Men
The lead-up to Legion Quest
X-Factor #108-111
Mystique’s skill set
Legion (David Haller) (more) (again)
Freedom Force
The most powerful of devices
A dream about a dream
An intersection of unreliable narrators
The narrative justification for Legion Quest
A rock monster
Jornick
Lila Cheney (more) (again)
A Kurt Vonnegut reference
The K’Lanti
A space junkyard
The end of X-Factor’s second iconic era
Our favorite male/female X-friendships
Pros and cons of line cohesiveness
NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!
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In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.
X-PLAINED:
Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
Moon Talk
Some upcoming X-books
X-Men #38-39
Uncanny X-Men #319
Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
Sinister foreshadowing
Fancy hair
Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
Hawk sex
An exceptionally resonant callback
Intersectional bigotry
The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
The opposite of a Jack London story
An unlikely intergenerational frienship
A novel use of a novel superpower
Mutation as and intersecting with disability
X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!
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In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode involves discussion of child sexual abuse, murder, and cruelty to animals. If you want to skip that part, head to 34:42 for happier times!
X-PLAINED:
An early adventures of the brothers Proudstar
The new New Mutants trailer
Starlight Express
X-Force #40-42
Feral (Maria Callasantos) (more) (again)
X-Force’s new digs
Little Shop of X-Force
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Code Blue
Cable’s law degree
How tranq darts (don’t) work
A lot of murder
Several family reunions
A terrifying team-up
Body diversity and fat representation in X-books
Feral’s Jellicle name
Cats, kind of, I guess
NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.
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In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!
X-PLAINED:
Lola vs. L.O.L.A.
A very good cat
Bishop #1-4
Lucas Bishop
Earth-1191
X.S.E.
A surprising convergence
Guilt
Bantam
Mountjoy
Some terrible banter
Several nontraditional modes of possession
Shard Bishop
How the kids talk these days
Hancock
Fashion of the future
A complex ethical struggle
NEXT EPISODE: More Cats references.
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In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Mutation, for some value of the term
Holidays and the observation thereof
December 9
Jay’s ideal Christmas
How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
Several promotions
Generation X
Generation X #1-4
Generation X
Husk (Paige Guthrie)
M (Monet St. Croix)
Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
Synch (Everett Thomas)
Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
Counting Genises
The housekeeping implications of body horror
The M retcon
Continuity in costume design
The Danger Grotto
Emplate (somewhat)
D.O.A.
Penance (not that one)
Scrabble burns
An alternate take on power duplication
Mondo ()
The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
Eliot ()
A tentative friendship
How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
A movie that never fails to disappoint
The vagaries of adaptation
The best on-screen Emma Frost
Gang emails of the 1990s
Refrax
Buff
William Castle
The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
Hatley Castle
The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation! NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!
Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!
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In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.
X-PLAINED:
A not-particularly-cunning disguise
Upcoming coverage
X-Force Annual #3
X-Men Annual #3
The MLF
Reignfire (more) (again)
Moonstar (more) (again)
An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
A bittersweet semi-reunion
3Peace
Murphy Keep
A ghost, maybe
The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
An excellent burn
Leather
“Neurotoxins”
Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
How not to draw someone having a nightmare
A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
How not to villain
Coming to terms with bad fictional tech
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!
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In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.
X-PLAINED:
Responsible weapon storage
X-Men Unlimited #6-7
A very large creative team
Sauron (more) (again)
Blood-derived powers
The Mutates
A pterosaur glow-up
Achmed El-Gibar
Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
How to get a t’ieve mentor
Style vs. taste
The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
Tattoos vs. healing factors
NEXT EPISODE: Sex?
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In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.
X-PLAINED:
Stegron
Dinosaur powers
Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
Warren Ellis on Excalibur
Excalibur (more) (again)
Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
Outsider days
Mail
Boundaries
Darkoth
Gravemoss
The Winding Way
Shrill
A problematic prosthesis
Roger Corman’s The Raven
A large number of continuity errors
Gratuitous dickery
An untold tale
The semantics of skin removal
Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
The circle of nostalgia
NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!
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In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.
X-PLAINED:
Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy
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In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.
X-PLAINED:
The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
House of X
Powers of X
Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
Bar Sinister
Sinister Secrets
Portentous red shoes
The Man-Machine Ascendancy
Chimeras
North
Cardinal
Rasputin
Homo Novissima
Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
The Five
The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
Trans representation and its absence
Retroactive foreshadowing
NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X
CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.
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In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.
X-PLAINED:
Mithras
A large number of guest appearances
Thor: Metal Gods
The Phalanx Covenant so far
Full Shred Thrash
Adam Kubert
Wolverine #85
Cable #16
Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
Popping silk
A Summers family reunion
Jean and Nathan
Jean Grey’s astral form
Genetics
Several airplanes
Mountain climbing
Gelatinous yahoos
Several impermanent deaths
Pregnant X-team members
Outside references to the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman
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In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.
X-PLAINED:
How Cable got his Ship back
Miles’s official stance on candy corn
The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
X-Factor #106
X-Force #38
Excalibur #82
A monastery party
Douglock (more) (again)
Forge-O-Vision
How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
Stages of Phalanx development
Babel
Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
The Phalanx, but dogs
Shinar
What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
Mindwifery
Adulthood
“Stealth”
Where baby Phalanxes come from
Teamwork
Good stories about Hope Summers
What happened to Paul Bailey
NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family
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In which we’re finally both back in the virtual studio; Generation X is the new Inferno; the Phalanx Covenant begins; we’re not talking about Hickman in our coverage of this story; Banshee is the adult in the room; the Phalanx is pretty sexist; and gross powers are cool.
X-PLAINED:
Blink
Peter Sís
The Phalanx Covenant
“Generation Next” (but not Generation Next)
Uncanny X-Men #316-317
X-Men #36-37
Yet another way to do a crossover event
Some very good visual branding
What we’re not covering
Sexy Banshee
Retired Colonel Gayle Cordbecker
Monet St. Croix (kind of)
Coaxing
Early days of the Internets
Everett Thomas (Synch)
The fate of Sara Grey
Phalanx Phashion
Angelo Espinosa (Skin)
Clarice Ferguson (Blink)
Some guy allegedly named Gregor
Harvest
A very expensive house
An apparent death
NEXT EPISODE: Forge does not get a puppy.
NOTE: Jay was right: LiveJournal first launched in 1999.
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In which we hear from two generations of Stokeses for the price of one, buying comics for your son is a great way to rationalize reading them yourself, you should probably be reading The Immortal Hulk, and a 30-year comics hiatus ain’t stopping Steve.
X-PLAINED:
A well-loved copy of Fantastic Four #1
Marvel vs. DC in the Silver Age
Requirements for an acceptable Doctor Doom
The perils of competitive newsstand shopping
Comics conventions: the days before Hall H
The Long Game
Bill Sienkiewicz: best of the best
The Worst Comic Book Guy
What makes the X-books special
The experimental storytelling of New Mutants
The Original Five
The Long Box (and the Easter basket)
Contagious enthusiasm
Returning to the Marvel Universe as a lapsed reader
Art styles over the years
Tragic tales of mail-order chameleons
The joys of the mainstreaming of nerddom
Superhero movies as message pill pockets
Fin Fang Foom
HoX/PoX freakouts as father/son bonding
Acid in vampires’ faces and other childhood traumas
NEXT EPISODE: The Phalanx Covenant (finally) begins!
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In which Seanan and Jay break down their favorite X-Villains; technically everyone is always cosplaying Mystique; Magneto remains the gold standard; and we have some concerns about Eye Boy.
X-PLAINED:
Candy Corn, and our official stance thereon
Halloween candy economy
Which X-Character to dress as for your office Halloween party
X-Villains
What makes Magneto tick
Magneto as a Holocaust survivor
What makes a villain redeemable
Face turns
The last DDR machine in New York, and denizens thereof
An X-Villain musical
Mystique
How to make Daken work
Avengers as antagonists
Sinister’s goals
Bringing back Cameron Hodge
Meggan vs. Brexit
Heel turns
NEXT EPISODE: Stokes + Stokes!
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In which Excalibur addresses a number of dangling plot threads, Britanic finally gets (somewhat) interesting, Kitty really wants Douglock to be Doug, Professor Xavier and Moira MacTaggert are the best exes, and the future has peculiar priorities.
X-PLAINED:
The life and death of Jamie Braddock
Excalibur #81
Douglock (more) (again)
Inker ambiguity
Britanic and Meggan’s Christmas costumes
The Excalibur Lighthouse’s sudden and inexplicable resurrection
Mo’ time travel, mo’ problems
20,097 rocks on a shoreline
Douglock: overly literal, dryly funny, or just plain thirsty?
The Emotional Beat of Damocles
The problems with crunch time
Princess Diana: Excalibur vs. X-Statix
Language and time
Excalibur Annual #2
Appropriately bombastic narration
Fashions of the future
Psychic psychotherapy
Sibling rivalry
Mr. Poo
Braddock moppets
Oversimplification vs. ambiguity
Spooling chambers (more)
Excalibur as an X-leftovers book
Air travel: leg-room vs. sorcerous doom
Hannibal King: vampire detective and/or penciler
Shadowcat and the pain of hope
A Doug’s-eye view of New Mutants
Emma Frost and aging
Dazzler and roller derby
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains!
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In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.
X-PLAINED:
The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
Uncanny X-Men 314-315
X-Men Annual #18
A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
Previously unexplored ice powers
The direct prelude to Generation X
Caliban (more) (again)
SoftPaws(TM)
The giant squids of New York
The neophyte
A trial, kind of
X-Men power fantasies
Earth-X-Plain
NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!
Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.
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In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.
X-PLAINED:
Some guy from Earth-1610
X-Men: Unlimited #5
X-Men #34-35
Shi’ar sexting
A rude awakening (literal)
Rococo Stryfe
Some uncomfortable fashion choices
X-pajamas
Definitely nude Charles Xavier
Breasts
Shi’ar imperial bullshit
A very impressive headdress
Reality TV… in space!
A rude awakening (metaphorical)
Shi’ar childhood
Negotiation
A total dick move
Another total dick move
Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
The return of Threnody
The titles of several sex tapes
High-tech spelunking
Sinister’s secret DNA library
Controversial outfits
Nick Fury’s stuff
Sunset Grace
The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!
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In which we celebrate our 100th episode with producer Matt Hunter; you should always be kind to robots; Stryfe has a lot of very petty contingency plans; Britanic is bad at helping; we explore a peculiar pairing of book and arc; Charles Xavier has his moments; and Zero and Douglock defiy destiny.
X-PLAINED:
The current occupant of Fantomex’s body
Excalibur #78-80
The Douglock “chronicles”
Zero
Douglock
Several feelings
Britanic (again)
Camping fonts
Drones
Radio Shack
Helping
Pentagon-sense
What being human is all about
Charles Xavier, hero of the beach
Rory Campbell’s voice
Technoorganic vs. transmode viruses
Kymera
NEXT EPISODE: Star-crossed in space!
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In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.
X-PLAINED:
Bastion, to some extent
X-Force #34-37
Optical disambiguation
Moonstar
Face tentacle semantics
Sandwiches (again)
The Richter family
An entirely avoidable fight
Some time-travel bullshit
Hannigan Electronics
An insecurity system
Nimrods
Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
Defining traits of the Externals
Adoption, X-Factor style
Wolverine: The Long Night
NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!
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In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.
X-PLAINED:
One of the many problems with Sentinels
Uncanny X-Men #311-313
Whether the Phalanx is squishy
Robo-Candy
Plotline disambiguation
A cult classic
Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
Creative use of Bishop’s powers
Storm fashion
Technical difficulties
A decision Iceman will come to regret
Bishop vs. Sabretooth
What If Vol. 2 #87
Variations on Iceman’s appearance
Early seeds of Generation X
A night out with Yukio
A heavily euphemized relationship
Xavier’s mutant underground
The Phalanx
A shovel talk
The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
How Cyclops cries
Cassandra Nova’s signature look
NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past
NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”
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In which we return to our favorite convention; writer Vita Ayala remains an absolute legend; everything was always already queer; and nobody should ever have to wait 37 years for a kiss.
NEXT EPISODE: Rise of the Phalanx!
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In which we explore the aftermath of Multiple Man’s death; X-Factor has a lot of feelings; it probably sucks to grieve with Charles Xavier; neither power nor responsibility is particularly fun; we finally find out who was trying to kill Polaris; Professor Power makes it to the big leagues; and the ‘90s were one long leg day.
X-PLAINED:
Vectors of Malice transmission
X-Factor #101-102
X-Factor Annual #9
The aftermath of Jamie Madrox’s death
Several ways to grieve
Captain Capitalism and Plucky the Girl Wonder
A foiled robbery
Several guest stars
Multiple Man’s Muir Island years
Several assassination attempts
Some shady government shenanigans
Beatrice Conners (sort of)
A surprisingly muscular astral projection
Haven’s deeply dubious origin story
Professor Power
A surprisingly muscular android
One way to clean a room
Creative uses of mutant powers
Top-ten lists
NEXT EPISODE: Live at FlameCon with Vita Ayala!
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In which fix-it fic goes canon (or vice versa); Psylocke is a complicated individual and/or individuals; assassins have complicated personal lives; it is probably ethical to tell your teammates about your camera eyes; Beast takes over Blue Team; we get our first tease of Generation X; Sabretooth is a surprisingly fun narrator; that Hickman fellow seems to know what he’s doing; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!
X-PLAINED:
X-Men #31-33
What Forge does in his downtime
Several retcons, including a metaretcon
Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
Revanche (Kwannon)
What we are not wearing
Hawks
Digital Chameleon
Assassin romance
What actually (probably) (mostly) happened to Betsy and Kwannon
The Eye Fairy
The death of Kwannon
The future of the Xavier School
The last will and testament of Emma Grace Frost
Rogue and Gambit’s breakfast-cereal habits
All the eyes you’ve been given
Nyorin’s “diary”
A murder cliché
Genevieve Darceneaux
BabyGoth Gambit
Henri LeBeau and his majestic mustache
Our (very early) thoughts on HoX/PoX
NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.
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In which Lisa Winters pinch-hits for Jay, we take a trip to the newspaper funnies and back, Spider-Man and Beast are natural BFFs, nothing good ever happens at the Brand Corporation, and “mutant” can be a pretty fuzzy concept.
X-PLAINED:
Bessie the Hellcow
Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the newspaper strip storyline)
Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the comic book miniseries)
Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the cartoon episodes)
Four-color hoards
Three-panel newspaper comic structure
Sunday strips (and their Mark Trail deceptions)
Hero Jaws – a breakfast-based theory
Spider-Man (Peter Parker)
The Brand Corporation
The Beast (Henry McCoy)
Narratively convenient Spider Sense
Hobgoblin (Jason Macendale Jr.)
Goblin gliders
Picket signs (*air horn sound*)
Finger blasters (heh)
Laser cages
Arcade’s superpower flowcharts
Mutants: newspaper versus comic continuity
Coming home to the 90s
Lisa’s favorite X-Man
Beast’s versatile character design
Spider-to-X ratios
Dark, tortured heroes
Herbert Landon’s selective memory
Confirmation bias
Anti-mutant cancer goo
Ironic reversals
Wolverine, the most marketable mutant
Evil British accents
The most adaptable Spider-Man / X-Men crossovers
The X-Men and the newspaper funnies
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on.
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In which Rachel Summers’ continuity somehow becomes even more complicated; X-Men: Phoenix is pretty much a Star Wars (minus the stars); cultural appropriation remains a problem in the distant future; we are surprisingly into the origins of the Askani; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!
X-PLAINED:
Several Rachels Summers who may or may not actually be the same Rachel Summers
Time, somewhat
Gaunt
Jay & Miles at FlameCon 2019
X-Men: Phoenix #1-3
Bird stuff
What happened after Rachel got sucked into the timestream
High Councilor Diamanda Nero
An extremely poor choice of ornamentation
Luminesca
Ch’vayre
The origins of Blaquesmith
A questionable alias
Diogenes Chang
The Order of Witnesses
A rad team
Malachai Hark
Qua
Lexii
Ozana
The word “Askani”
The Hellhole
A resurrection
Penguins of Apocalypse
Sanctity (Tonya Trask)
A butt-on
The Phoenix Force and its hosts
Characters we’d like to see imported into comics from other X-media
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a week off.
NEXT EPISODE: Adventures in the funnypages!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.
X-PLAINED:
The X-Men of Earth-77995
Excalibur #75-77
Daytripper
A somewhat pointless sacrifice
Rough times in the timestream
Britannic
X-theology
D’Spayre’s butt
The rest of D’Spayre
Margali Szardos
The blood-brain barrier
Acrobatic flirtation
The Winding Way
Stark emptiness
A shocking possible resurrection
Major X
Essential characters
NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.
X-PLAINED:
The time Husk went evil
An anniversary
A guest appearance
X-Force #32-33
New Warriors #45-46
A crossover
A game
Younghunt
The semi-debut of Paige Guthrie
Deeply uncomfortable bathing-suit choices
A toy that never actually existed
The New Warriors
Justice (Vance Astrovik)
Night Thrasher (Dwayne Taylor)
Nova (Rich Rider)
Silhouette (Sil Chord)
Kymaera
Speedball (Robbie Baldwin)
Rage (Elvin Haliday)
Firestar (Angelica Jones) (more) (again)
A plan
Bantam
A lot of mind control
A very ambiguous game and its potential implications
Favorite ads
The narrative economy of resurrection
NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time & space!
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In which Nicole Miller is fashion designer to Earth-1218 and Earth-616, Jay rejects the word “bestest”, we kind of want to just read every word of X-Men #30 aloud, One is a perfect wedding song for Scott and Jean, and you save the last dance for who brought you.
X-PLAINED:
The perils of animated weddings
X-Men: The Wedding Album
Nonstandard trim sizes
Misattributed Oscar Wilde quotes
Shatterstar’s favorite Olympic event
Jean Grey’s short-lived modeling career
Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive
A most excellent wedding dress
Cursive fonts in comics
Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee, ambiguously excellent chosen family
X-Men #30
An event decades in the making
Wolverine, Master of Penmanship
Charles Xavier, reader stand-in
The largely forgotten Madelyne Pryor
The understandably tentative Rachel Summers
The bow-tie scene
A phenomenal two-page spread
A set of perfect vows
A bittersweet song for a bittersweet couple
Victor Creed, vengeful kitty-cat
Rogue and Gambit, best worst wedding guests
Video albums vs. Instagram
Beast and Banshee, jazz combo
Scott and Jean as a couple vs. individuals
The necessity of Scott and Jean’s relationship context
NEXT EPISODE: Goodbye, Phoenix. Hello, Britanic.
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In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.
X-PLAINED:
Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
Uncanny X-Men #308-310
A very sweet retcon
Thanksgiving “traditions”
How to scare crows
Emplates
Feelings and telepathy
A proposal
A misprint
Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
Xavier’s depression beard
The evolution of Amelia Voght
Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
An unexpected resolution
Foreshadowing
Trans voices in the larger comics conversation
NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!
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In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.
X-PLAINED:
Hope across the multiverse
X-Factor #97-100
Haven (Radha Dastoor)
Man, Mutant, and the New Humanity
A very fashionable outfit
One of the greatest Marvel art submissions of all time
Trinket the cat
Catalogs
A dramatic entrance
Mahapralaya (kind of)
Jamie Madrox vs. Jamie Madrox vs. the Legacy Virus
The Trolley Problem
Possession
Orbital lasers as a metric of morality
Monsoon (Aloba Dastoor)
The apparent death of Jamie Madrox
Our favorite takes on the Phoenix
Who our X-Universe counterparts should be
NEXT EPISODE: A very short engagement!
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X-TRA – Jay and Miles Spoil the Hell out of Dark Phoenix
Jun 14, 2019
The Apocalypse emoji remain the best X-Men movie of this generation.
We had a long conversation about Dark Phoenix; and we have uploaded it here for your edutainment!
WARNING: CONTAINS A WHOLE LOT OF SPOILERS FOR DARK PHOENIX.
We were also ALL OVER THE INTERNET last week week! Here are the many places we have been talking about Dark Phoenix and Dark Phoenix Saga-related stuff:
Why the Dark Phoenix Saga Blew Our Minds: Jay is a talking head in the latest installment of SyFy Wire’s “Comics that Blew Our Minds” video series, where you can also hear a lot of cooler people talk about the Dark Phoenix Saga and why they love it. There’s also a very heartfelt Jimmy Carter impression.
In which Jay proposes a new way of comparing superheroes; Beast faces an ethical dilemma; Mister Sinister has an Xavier moment; Sabretooth is a terrible houseguest; Cyclops totally gets what you see in Wolverine; Psylocke would absolutely be into hunting humans for sport; Sage probably vapes; rich people are definitely not like us; Shinobi Shaw is his own best friend; and Classic X-Men backup stories are canonical as hell.
X-PLAINED:
Blue Team vs. Gold Team
X-Men #27-29
Threnody
The fate of Infectia
One of Mister Sinister’s favorite aliases
Dr. Gordon Lefferts
Several complicated choices
A very frustrating cover
A secret meeting
The dubious evolution of Charles Xavier
Communication
An invitation
A sick burn
Rich people
The key to happiness
The theoretical adventures of Honey Badger and Princess Powerful
NEXT EPISODE: Val Cooper joins a cult!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Sabretooth is weirdly ubiquitous; Maverick is a terrible guest; not all second chances are equivalent; Graydon Creed is the red delicious apple of people; Mystique is the master of murder monologues; and the Darkholmes give the Summers family a run for its dysfunctional money.
X-PLAINED:
X-Men Unlimited #3-4
Sabretooth (more) (again)
Emergency back-up Wolverine
Faces
A stained-glass window that is probably a metaphor
Evocation
Maverick’s nose
Maverick’s manners
Commcast (but not that one)
Sabretooth’s mind
The “mystery” of Nightcrawler’s parentage
Mystique’s murder monologues
Killing Eve
The skull of friendship
Several versions of Nightcrawler’s backstory
Glove magic
One way to get out of an awkward family conversation
The ‘90s X-Men cartoon
Character migration between media
NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!
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In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.
X-PLAINED:
Birthday presents
What Excalibur has been up to
Excalibur #72-74
X-Force #31
How to be mysterious
The Proteus Room
The continually terrible choices of Moira MacTaggert
Porridge ghosts
An unnatural disaster
Chekhov’s solid rock
Rory Campbell
Destructo Woman
Limitations of CD-ROMs
Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
The Cassidy family
How not to treat a gunshot wound
Kelvin Donaghann and his fancy hair
An intervention
The future of the New Mutants feature film
Underwear
NEXT EPISODE: Family Reunion!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.
X-PLAINED:
Mark Trail vs. X-Men
Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
Clones of Sabretooth
Birthday traditions
Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
Low-context ninjas
A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
Turbo Sabretooth
Tribune (Graydon Creed)
Mark Trail
Affirmations with Sabretooth
“Leni Zauber”
Dress codes
The butt-kick scale
A tearaway tuxedo
Dubious grenade handling
Parenting with Mystique
One thing Wolverine knows
The CHK-LIT gun
Comics bankers
A very qualified recommendation
Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
Relative redeemability
NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Danielle Moonstar is not a master of disguise; the MLF are bad enough dudes to kidnap a guy who works near the president; Tempo wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Reignfire is no Magneto; we now desperately want X-Force matryoshka dolls; Feral quits the team; Henry Peter Gyrich fails to learn from experience (or anything else); small children are bad at everything; Shatterstar gets a tagline; Sam Guthrie REALLY needs a vacation; and it’s surprisingly difficult to choose a favorite resurrection.
X-PLAINED:
Cortex
The kinder, gentler Cable
Several matters related to Nicholas Cage
X-Force #27-30
Broome jaws
The Area jar
The Mutant Liberation Front
Reignfire (again)
Hardaway
A cyborg asshole
Locus
Moonstar
“Of Faith and Fable”
Foreshadow puppets
Bobby da Costa’s greatest fear
Dad jokes with Cable
X-Force’s day off
Shatterstar vs. Adam X the X-Treme
Windsong
An inevitable team-up
A Very Special Episode moment
The return of Wine Mom Domino
The return of Jean Grey’s telepathy
Our favorite resurrections
NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue’s biological parents
Marvel New Orleans
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Rogue/rogue disambiguation
Rogue #1-4
Bella Donna Boudreaux
What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
Cody Robbins (again)
Natural causes
Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
The Bill the Pony incident
Relative culpability
Nature vs. nurture
Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
Candra’s new threads
How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
Gris-Gris
Lapin
Fifolet
Punching hallucinations
Questa
Knives as superpowers
Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
Closure
The limits of intent
Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!
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In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!
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In which we celebrate a red-letter birthday with a look back at five years of milestones, favorite moments, dubious headwear, and our own convoluted continuity!
NEXT EPISODE: It Gambit time!
You can find a full list of the episodes we mentioned here over on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.
X-PLAINED:
Spider-Man / X-Men Crossovers
Other media we have consumed recently
Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games
What a spider can do
What Spider-Man can do
Shadow Force
Hard Time
Airborne
Oversize
Firefight
Ambush
Mirrorshade
JELLO Jigglers(TM)
Journalistic alliteration
The government
A comfortable fictional jacket
How to find Flash Thompson
Many sound effects
The untimely death of Mirrorshade
Why we’re not covering the Captain Marvel movie
Glob Herman’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: Somehow we been doing this for FIVE WHOLE YEARS?!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
UPDATE: Jay initially linked to the wrong episode here. Link now leads to the actual Episode 241. Sorry for the inconvenience!
Dave is moving this week. We miss you, Dave!
In which Quicksilver wants you to know that he’s not cool; X-Factor gets a new government liaison; a danger room on a jet is a terrible idea; this team is bad at feelings; Forge is a pretty okay boss; and it remains exceptionally difficult to be Rahne Sinclair.
X-PLAINED:
Several deaths of Scott Summers
X-Factor #93-96
X-Factor (more) (again)
A somewhat tragic meeting
A costume and the response thereto
A very brief adventure
A political reference
Feelings
Art therapy with Quicksilver
Random (more) (again)
Mr. Dibbles
Havok’s hair
The new boss (as literally and idiomatically distinct from the old boss)
Some history
Haven (kind of)
Navigating mental health triggers in comics
The difference between isolation and quarantine
NEXT EPISODE: A Threat and/or Menace!
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In which we sit down live at Emerald City Comic Con with writers Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams to talk Age of X-Man, the intergenerational legacy of X-Men, and telling stories in the pauses.
Check back later this week for our ECCC cosplay and sketch galleries!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.
X-PLAINED:
One way to name babies
Blood Ties
Infinite bomber jackets
Avengers #368-369
X-Men #26
Avengers West Coast #101
Uncanny X-Men #307
Several very fancy covers
A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
Genosha (more) (again)
The Avengers, as of 1993
A special delegation
The Genoshan resistance
U.S. Agent
A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
The many belts of Nicholas Fury
Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
Sersi
A very drawn-out fight
Roy Thomas dialogue
The racist icing on the racist cake
Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
Diplomacy, kind of
Apolitical avenging
Magneto’s dream
A green and pleasant beverage
Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
Damian Hellstrom
How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
Robopaternity
A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which X-Force is the new New Mutants; Professor is what Cable has instead of a burn book; Cable develops emotional literacy; Jay has a lot of feelings about Shatterstar; Cowboys can be wizards, too; you really shouldn’t call adult people “child”; privilege is truly the greatest superpower; Cameron Hodge remains improbably difficult to kill; Candy Southern gets to write the ending to her own story; and Emerald City Comic Con is coming up REALLY fast!
X-PLAINED: Reignfire
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Some new merch
X-Force #26
Uncanny X-Men #305-306
The evolution of Tabitha Smith’s code name
X-Force and its members (more) (again)
Professor’s narrative function
A sudden mustache and its potential implications
A lot of things about Shatterstar
Cable as a leader
Armor full of skin
Louis St. Croix and/or Mark Twain
An inappropriate nickname
The first Xavier school prom
Inflatable erotic accessory semantics
The return of Candy Southern
The return of Cameron Hodge
Moral event horizons and how to handle them in comics
Pros and cons of dating telepaths
NEXT EPISODE: A Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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In which there is only one Big Pine Key; Empyrean is actually a pretty sensible dude; the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are ride-or-die; you should probably avoid setting X-Men stories in Phoenix, Arizona; Adam X the X-Treme is the Longshot of the 1990s; Miles adopts a ship; heteronormativity is why we can’t have nice things; and you should really seriously come see us at ECCC!
X-PLAINED:
Why Nate Grey is Like That
X-Men Annual #2
X-Force Annual #2
The worst book Aron Wisenfeld ever drew
Big Pine Key
Empyrean
Jonathan Chambers
A very fancy bathrobe
What’s going on in Psylocke’s head
Pallative care for late-stage Legacy virus patients
Revanche’s fairly bleak legacy
X-Men: Time Gliders
How to dress to discuss Adam X the X-Treme
Adam X the X-Treme
Personal lettering styles
Michelle
Flashing, but not like that
Martin Strong
Miles’s new ship
Subtext vs. canon
Heteronormativity
X-Crayons
NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.
X-PLAINED:
How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Wolverine #75
Excalibur #71
Psychic trauma
High-stakes references
The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
A really effective sound effect
The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
Butterflies of the Xavier School
Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
Medical consent
The worst bar, probably
Professorial disambiguation
What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
A betrayal
Amelia Voght
Unuscione
Katu
The future of Excalibur
Proactive superheroism
How not to make a White Russian
Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
Our etymological destinies
NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.
X-PLAINED:
Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats
NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
234 – Magnetic Feels (Fatal Attractions Part 1)
Feb 11, 2019
WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!
In which the Acolytes are pretty terrible; Exodus considers his options; Val Cooper is not wildly trustworthy; Cable uses his words; and people with significant metal implants should probably stop confronting Magneto.
X-PLAINED:
How not to get possessed by Mister Sinister
Crossover structures
How not to make friends or influence people
The Acolytes (again)
X-Factor #92
A total dick move
The new Project Wideawake
X-Force #25
A first appearance
Cable #1-3
A reunion
Avalon
Magneto’s bathrobe
The evolution of X-Force
Mojoworld in the multiverse
X-characters who haven’t officially died at least once
NEXT EPISODE: Fatal Extractions!
Happy podiversary to our beloved illustrator, David Wynne!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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233 – Electromagnetism Unlimited
Feb 04, 2019
X-Men Unlimited.
In which X-Men Unlimited begins; Cyclops’s powers remain wildly inconsistent; electromagnetic fields are the gamma rays of the early ‘90s; Siena Blaze should probably take some science courses; Magneto is a complex dude; and the Marvel Universe could really use adequate mental healthcare.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.
X-PLAINED:
Several characters’ Earth-65 counterparts
The X-Office
Judging people for not being Alan Davis
Excalibur #68-70
A slippery story title
The unceremonious disappearance of Captain Britain
Mullets of space and time
Angst-ridden super-types, all of whom are morbidly obsessed with death
The other war criminal in Excalibur
Fashion trends of the Shi’ar Empire
Krag
Important conversations to have with your significant other
A sadness staredown
Cerise’s actual secret origins
A fairly poetic life sentence
The cleverest fights
Our 2019 Convention Schedule
How to get Jay & Miles at your local convention
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Unlimited!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.
X-PLAINED:
What happened to Fred Duncan
Beastwriting
Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
The speculator boom
X-Factor Annual #8
Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
Excalibur Annual #1
Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
A protracted Batman reference
How to string pearls
A dubious twist on the danger room
The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
Cloot (Satannish)
Howling Mad, by Peter David
The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
A protracted illusion
The Amazing Icemaster
Metacommentary
An accidental trap
The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
Resolution versus forgiveness
The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
More wizard stuff
Khaos
Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
Ghath
Irth
Mutants on Sesame Street
Cycling in and out of comics
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!
CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.
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In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic.
X-PLAINED:
The Human High Council
Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family
Uncanny X-Men #303
X-Men #24
What If: Magik
A tonal disconnect
Leisure Suit Larry
A prospective movie marathon
Insecurity
Molecular Cohesion Unit
The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath)
Death in America
A dubious idea for a theme park
A reunion
Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout
Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange
Navigating vs. erasing trauma
Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing
How to cite X-Men volumes
Earth-242 (Earth on Fire)
NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!
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In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.
X-PLAINED:
The Hayes family
The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
Summers/Sommers disambiguation
Gene Ha
Time travel
Earth-4935
Mother Askani
Prelate Ch’vayre
What “Askani” means
When and whether Cable sleeps
The passage of time
Slym and Redd Dayspring
A biblical allusion
A very good greeting
Prior Turrin
“Old” English
Li’l Stryfe
Some constraints of superhero comics
Parenting
Rachel Summers’s self-image
The origin of Cable’s codename
David Wynne and his art
“Strontium Dogs”
The X-Fandom starter pack
The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
D&D with the Blue Team
All-New staying power
Fictional intersectionality
Change, in general
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.
CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.
Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!
Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.
X-PLAINED:
Peters Parker
The Merry X-Men Holiday Special
Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM
Uncanny X-Men #301-302
Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart
Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting
21st Century Torture Devices
Risky mood fonts
Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)
Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist
Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex
Russian tragedy (more, again)
Charles Xavier and his poor decisions
Shi’ar tech support
Pants and villainy
Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions
TIME PARADOX
Weirdly specific contingencies
Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury
X-Force #24
Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps
The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)
Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest
Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie
Action vs. public perception
Vinz Clortho
Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is
The dramatic return of… well, you know
Spacesuit logistics
Numerical universe designations
Plastic Warlock
NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Cowboy Poet Wolverine is the best Wolverine; the Masters of the Universe basically had Internet Cat names; Miles has an Early Metallica moment; Wolverine: Killing is just ludicrously excellent; and the hawk joke somehow keeps going.
X-PLAINED:
An eccentric approach to ecoterrorism
Wolverine: Inner Fury
Wolverine: Killing
The narrative limits of Bill Sienkiewicz
Various Terrors
The Whale and/or Shark
Microminibots
A trap
Mr. Big
A sexy coffee cup
Literary allusions
Atmospheric narration
Urban despair
A peculiar community
Cowboy Poet Wolverine
A thematic meditation
Depressingly exceptional representation of a lady in peril
King Hiss
The world according to Logan
The theoretical microbrewery scene of an imaginary enclave
Regional differences in IPAs
Feelings and their various sources
The symbolism of Wolverine’s costume
Home
How Archangel sleeps
Adamantium vs. Vibranium
NEXT EPISODE: This ‘n’ that ‘n’ Rusty ‘n’ Skids!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.
X-PLAINED: • Damian Tryp • An unconventional staffing practice • Genosha (more) (again) • The devolution of Alex Summers’ personality • Several attorneys in the Marvel Universe • X-Factor #88-91 • Random (Marshall Stone III) • Joe Quesada’s signature ribbons • Checkbook heroism • Kids these days • Genoshan reconstruction • Several gardens of earthly delights • Puberty • A mercifully abandoned plan • A conspiracy • A significant tonal shift • Mutate #24601 • RoboJean • Genosha’s sanitation system • Dick Chalker • Magneto Rex • Humans in Magneto’s Genosha
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. everything
Thanks to everyone who helped bring Jay’s weird musical dream to life:
*Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists
Special thanks to Juliana Finch, Christian Lipski, and Laser Webber for technical advice; Christina Eddleman for recording the demo track; and Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser for [Easter egg description redacted].
Check out the visual companion to this episode–as well as the full lyrics to “At the End of the Fight”–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)
Dec 03, 2018
In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.
X-PLAINED:
Vance Astro(vik)
Penance (but not that one)
Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
New Warriors #10
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
The New Warriors
Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
The Hellions (more) (again)
Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
Bevatrons
Oxy-cution
The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
The Miracle of Microwaves
New Warriors #31
Nova Roma
Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
Empath and his large collection of red flags
Gender-based intuition
A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
Super-nature versus super-nurture
The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.
X-PLAINED:
Origins of Phoenix mythology
Excalibur #61-67
The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
Rachel Summers (more) (again)
Earth-811 (more) (again)
Phoenix vs. Galactus
A pep talk from Death
The One True Phoenix
The dark, distant future of 2013
The dark, even more distant future of 2015
The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
Rory Campbell / Ahab
What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
Moby Dick, kind of
That one time Widget was a car
Resistance Coordination Executive
Dark Angel
Killpower
Albion
Grace
Tangerine
Arthur
An Excalibur #54 callback
Excalibur (the gun)
Kitty’s new image
How to hack the robot apocalypse
Saved by the Bell: The College Years
Where Excalibur should have ended
Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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223 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
Nov 19, 2018
In which Dracula probably doesn’t drink his blood from a World’s Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency.
X-PLAINED:
Dracula’s ungrateful children
Marvel Dracula
A fortuitously named writer
Rachel Van Helsing
X-Men #159 (again) (briefly)
Sexy Dracula
The secret origin of sexy Draculas
Fastball Special body mechanics
X-Men Annual #6
A nightmare
“Bats”
Yet another Castle Dracula
The Montesi Formula
Sound effects, spoken or otherwise
Lilith
Chairs
The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula
X-Vegas
Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast
NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!
Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with Jay’s convention sketches–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.
X-PLAINED:
How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.
X-PLAINED:
A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
Several cats
X-Force #20-23
The Externals (more) (again)
A deeply unlikely hairstyle
Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
A somewhat one-sided reunion
Yahoos
Inaccurate arithmetic
Why Feral sounds like that
Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
War Machine (James Rhodes)
Salvage
Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
Shatterstar
How to fight an External
The seventh plague
What Domino’s been up to
Hammer’s mom
Tigerstryke (more) (again)
Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
Learning to appreciate the ’90s
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!
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In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.
X-PLAINED:
Warpies
Excalibur #61-65
The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
The RCX (more) (again)
Agents Gabriel and Michael
What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
What not to do with a dead parrot
Several Hamlet references
Scott Wright (MicroMax)
The Cherubim
Cloud Nine
Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
Warpie naming conventions
Beetroot
Screen tone
An idiom
Evasive makeouts
A specific thing on The Gifted
Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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219 – Brutal Hearts: An Appreciation of Emma Frost (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, Tea Fougner, Kel McDonald, and Diana Fox)
Oct 22, 2018
In which Jay recruits X-writers Seanan McGuire and Leah Williams, cosplayer Tea Fougner, and innocent bystanders Kel McDonald and Diana Fox, for a night of Emma Frost appreciation.
X-PLAINED:
Why Emma Frost is amazing; why we love her; and why you should, too.
NEXT EPISODE: Return of the RCX!
WHITE QUEEN COCKTAIL RECIPE:
Combine:
1.5 oz gin
.5 oz rose elderflower syrup
Splash of elixir vegetal
Prosecco to fill glass
Top off with:
Smoke bitters
No visual companion this week! Go read some comics about Emma Frost!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.
X-PLAINED:
Jay & Miles at VVCBF
Uncanny X-Men #298-300
The Acolytes (more) (again)
The Upstarts (more) (again)
Several important lessons
A very fancy room
A very fancy brain
The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander
The all-new, all-different Acolytes
Carmella Unuscione
The return of one of our favorite antagonists
A sick burn
The fate of Asteroid M
Molting
A debate
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly
How to lose a debate with Joe Biden
A large number of prescient political references
Friends of Humanity
How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate
Noah DuBois
Fatale
A generic rural mob
Milan
A narratively convenient superpower
Amelia Voght
Seamus Mellencamp
Neophyte
The gospel of Magneto
A joyous reunion
The helmet that wouldn’t die
Ponytail ethics
Timelust
Several accents
The current state of Rogue’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke’s weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.
X-PLAINED:
An atypical curriculum
Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
X-Men #17-19
What Colossus and Magik have been up to
X-Men title disambiguation
The terrible fate of the town of Neftelensk
Blind Faith (Alexi Garnov)
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Darkstar
Beard auras
Cathartic interdimensional landscaping
Flagwatch 113
Red Flag 113
An awkward encounter
The Soul Skinner
The tactical value of cute little ears
Dubious cold-weather apparel
Jude the Obscure
Weaponized angst
An inopportune coloring error
Lack of pants
Whether Pyro could control Jubilee’s “fireworks”
How to enjoy dated comics
NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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216 – X-Amining X-Factor (feat. Dr. Andrea Letamendi)
Oct 01, 2018
In which Dr. Andrea Letamendi of Arkham Sessions joins us to analyze some analysis; Doc Samson has major scope-of-practice issues; Ren & Stimpy references continue to fail to age well; it’s hard to be Quicksilver; Val Cooper is not your friend; Polaris pretty much always deserves better; Charles Xavier should not be allowed to inhabit positions of power; and labels are often not the best tools for good representations of mental illness and neurodivergence.
X-PLAINED:
A very high-stakes 3-D puzzle
X-Factor #87
Doc Samson
Making talking heads interesting
Wolfsbane’s relationship to pop culture
Appropriate boundaries
Several remarkable fashion choices
Pietro Maximoff in perspective
Therapeutic assessment vs. intervention
The extremely tragic backstory of Jamie Madrox
Imposter syndrome
A brief history of Polaris’s brushes with possession
A really poorly planned and presented sequence
Consequences of armchair diagnosis
Interactions of telepathy and psychology
Legion as a portrayal of mental illness
Writing mental illness in fiction
NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.
X-PLAINED:
Winzeldorf
Excalibur (so far)
Excalibur #55-58
Lip massage
The death of Alysande Stuart
A banana fight
Alchemy (again)
Many trolls
A fairly joyous reunion
The Brussels Sewer Museum
A fake heel turn
Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
Comics covers
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.
X-PLAINED:
Wolves, to a very limited extent
Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
Transcripts
X-Cutioner’s Song
Stryfe’s Strike File
Uncanny X-Men #297
X-Force #19
A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
Shades of me
Shades of you
Shades of them
Our first-ever music challenge
Some foreshadowing
Nostalgia
A very nice hug
The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
Several practical jokes in very poor taste
Teacher-student bonding
An excellent epithet
Some lettering choices
An extended Hail Caesar riff
The Clooney Scale
An enduring mystery
Clone powers
Exclamatory logistics
NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?
MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!
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213 – Live from FlameCon, feat. Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams
Sep 10, 2018
In which Leah dives headfirst into the world of con panels; Magdalene will burn down your idols; Sina is a fashion icon; none of the X-Men are straight (but they do share a sweater); you can’t spell “gay sex” without X; and we are all very, VERY in love with FlameCon.
Special thanks to Sina, Mags, Leah, Matt, Maya, Tea, Anna, the Discord crowd, and all our amazing listeners and patrons!
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!
Check out some of our FlameCon photos and sketches on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)
Sep 03, 2018
In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.
X-PLAINED:
How Cable dies
The Story So Far
Still more trading-card taxonomy
Uncanny X-Men #296
X-Factor #86
X-Men #16
X-Force #18
An AU we’d like to read
The not-Stüssy S
How to effectively reference X-Men #137
A decoy baby
An abortive escape
Moon gravity
Revelatory vandalism
A trip to the moon
A probably excessive number of hawk facts
Various daring rescues
How to kill time in space
Cathexes
A very fancy moon base
The cavalry, kind of
Stryfe vs. Cable
An X-Cellent epilogue
Several Silent Hill 2 references
Stryfe’s Legacy
Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
Sexy high-security prisons of the future
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!
Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)
Aug 27, 2018
In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.
X-PLAINED:
Kuurth
Various Juggernauts
The Story So Far
More trading-card taxonomy
Uncanny X-Men #295
X-Factor #85
X-Men #15
X-Force #17
Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
What happened
Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
A deal
A tragic absence of Draculas
The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
Thanksgiving with Cable
Miles’s summer camp hijinks
Murderbots in space (again)
A dubious strategy
MLF Redshirts
The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
A dropped plot thread
Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
Additional awkward reunions
Whether Stryfe is a Summers
The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song
NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.
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210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)
Aug 20, 2018
In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!
X-PLAINED:
The Black Bug Room
A good deal of pre-event status quo
Uncanny X-Men #294
X-Factor #84
X-Men #14
X-Force #16
Trading card taxonomy
The opening strains of a crossover event
A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
An abduction
Several attempted murders
A large number of awkward reunions
An even larger number of inter-team brawls
Two villains pretending to be other villains
Cape logistics
Peak Cable
Many pouches
Many guns
The origin of Hope Summers
Our hopes for mutants in the MCU
NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.
NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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209 – To Me, My X-Books; feat. Jordan D. White
Aug 12, 2018
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.
X-PLAINED:
Jay & Miles at FlameCon
Advantages of recording remotely
X-Factor #81-83
What Genosha’s been up to
Prodigal
An impassioned speech
An unfortunate accident
Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
Chain of command
Lukas
Pirouette
Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Phantazia (again)
Immovable vs. unstoppable
What you do on a boat
Taylor
When Havok still cared
“The Mutant Rap”
Adventures in New York
How to bond with Quicksilver
An angry mob
A derailed storyline
The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
Our opinions on the revolving door of death
X-Men vs. electronics
Superheroes from the Balkans
Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups
NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!
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In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early ’90s; Jay doesn’t explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don’t have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn’t quite repeat itself.
X-PLAINED:
Dracula disambiguation
One way to stop a vampire invasion
Wang beams
Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2
The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza
Cable (as established in 1992)
Stryfe
The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack
The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr.
Tolliver
Several heists of varying quality
Numerous patches and their contents
How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack
An idiom, examined
A total dick move
Muscles-and-guns power creep
Guns of tomorrow
The McNinja point
A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering
A typo that became canon
The new She-Ra
The new, improved Garrison Kane
European nipple lasers
Mr. Richter
The evolution of Cable
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.
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In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.
X-PLAINED:
Evil Shadowcats
Jay & Miles at FlameCon
Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
A brief history of Excalibur
The Phoenix Force
A recap of a recap
What this episode isn’t covering
Lizard Excalibur
The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
Several long-ago Halloween costumes
Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
The Fantastic Five
A vow of vengeance
Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
A telepathic journey
The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
Several retcons yet to come
Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
A mysterious disappearance
What the Crazy Gang has been up to
The nicest kind of twist
A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
Differentiating X-teams
The X-Plain Discord
Strong Guy’s new hobby
NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal
UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
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In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.
X-PLAINED:
The secret origin of Gideon
How to get deported from Latveria
Marvel en français
X-Force #11-15
Some gratuitous posturing
Pico
What the actual Domino has been up to
One hell of an outfit
Peacock powers
Crule
A comical mix-up
A somewhat radical cosmology
A very dramatic strike force
Tygerstryke
X-Force post-Liefeld
Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
A four-page spread
A fight for one is a fight for all
Vance Astro
The death of Copycat
Things only Cable and Domino could do
Joseph (more) (again)
Marvel style and its evolution
NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!
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204 – Naughty By Nurture
Jul 09, 2018
In which Jay runs away to Latveria (but Hub is here to save the day!); you shouldn’t eat the brown promethium; Magneto and Cap fight over the world’s tiniest man; Rom is somewhat set in his ways; all anyone in the 616 really wants out of a disguise is plausible deniability; and Hub was inside your heart all along (and you might want to see a doctor about that).
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.
X-PLAINED:
Marrow’s internal organs
The post-Image Exodus era
Judging books by their covers
Uncanny X-Men #291-293
Sexy dead girls (again)
The Morlock leadership vacuum
A significant Callisto personality retcon
Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
Science Made Stupid
Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
The Br’er Rabbit Technique
Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
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In which music is dangerous and confusing, Jamie Madrox has a weakness for femmes fatale, the term “f-holes” makes Miles turn 12, and we bid a fond farewell to Larry Stroman.
X-PLAINED:
That time Havok was the nexus of all realities
How to get to Florida, Magneto style
X-Factor #79-81
Lesser-used applications of super-speed
Rhapsody (Rachel Argosy)
Mutant late bloomers
The surprising convenience and safety of fictional shop windows
Excalibur-weird vs. X-Factor-weird
Tiny cellos
The worst kid in the neighborhood
A creative use of mutant powers
Whether Madrox creates duplicates during sex (again)
Astral wheat fields
Musical manslaughter
Sean Young (who is decidedly not Catwoman)
Hell’s Belles
Rahne’s World
Polaris’s body image issues
Beefiness disambiguation
Wolfsbane’s conditional poker face
Cyber (Silas Burr)
Strong Guy, who just works here, man
Alex Summers, inspiring and/or deceptive authority figure
Bringing back the classics (and when not to)
The surprisingly homogenous Multiverse
NEXT EPISODE: Mikhail Rasputin ruins everything.
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In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.
X-PLAINED:
Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
Fontanelle
Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
An upcoming event
X-Men #10-13
A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
Those who like to go both ways
A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
Zima
Moist Alley
Mojo II: The Sequel
The Image exodus
Mojonium™
An announcement
Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
A Maverick adventure
Alexander Ryking
The other Xavier File
Warhawk
The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
A poorly defined power set
Technicolor skeletons
When and where paper was invented
A likely-irrelevant pattern
The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
Some non-X Marvel recommendations
Rusty Collins’s codename
NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!
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200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson
Jun 03, 2018
In which we celebrate a major milestone with the coolest person ever to work on the X-books and look back at the last four-plus years of the podcast; and nobody ends up on trial at the Hague.
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a much-needed vacation.
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men take the fight to Mojoworld!
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199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven
May 28, 2018
In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.
X-PLAINED:
Astra
Content-to-story ratio
The Mojoverse (more) (again)
Longshot
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
Arize
X-Men Annual #1
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
X-Factor Annual #10
X-Force Annual #1
A pivotal battle
Mujahideen
A callback
Several denizens of Mojoworld
X-Team disambiguation
The Death Sponsors
A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
Whether Arize is a mutant
Telepathic favoritism
Spiral’s origin story
A new regime
Earth-84309
Powerpax (Frankie Power)
Darkchild
Cyberlock
A metasingularity
A large number of back-up features
The X-Men’s top ten enemies
Amalgam (but not that one)
Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
The return of Taki
The Cable Protocols
Brazilian Marvel characters
Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory
NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson
CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.
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198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying
May 20, 2018
In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.
X-PLAINED:
Invisible Boy
Human heralds of Galactus
Excalibur Special Editions
Excalibur: Air Apparent
Excalibur: XX Crossing
Dr. Jonothon Cayre
Norm the LMD
Lava pits of Scotland
Some dubious herpetology
Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
Robert Cop
Special Man
Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
A cosmic explosion
Captain Britain’s extra costume
Sidestep
An exceptionally awkward job interview
A counterintuitive plan
The other time-displaced X-Men
The best version of Angel
Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
Gladiator Hank
A very fancy vest
The best Excalibur Special Edition
The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
Warlock vs. gender
Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War
Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!
NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!
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197 – Wolverine and the Honker of Doom
May 14, 2018
In which Wolverine is an eternal teenager; most of what Jay knows about Hawaii comes from Lilo and Stitch; Shiv is a complicated fellow; Nightcrawler represents an unattainable beauty standard; the Easter Bunny flies at dawn; Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure is delightful; Logan inadvertently starts a cult; Gahk does as she pleases; Jay and Miles are going to FlameCon; and we are all now Honkers forever.
X-PLAINED:
What Bloodscream and Roughouse have been up to
Albert and Elsie Dee
An unorthodox vocal warm-up
Wolverine: Bloody Choices
Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure
The Wolverine formula
Kamehameha Day (which Jay mispronounced; sorry!)
Mr. Bullfinch
Mr. Kapeland
Shiv
Doc Corbel
Nick Fury’s penmanship
How retail works
Secret agents, maybe
A stimulating combination
Karate pants
A darker, grittier version of the Easter bunny
Wolverine’s apocryphal childhood
Characters who can pull off the Wolverine hairstyle
Don Adams as Wolverine
Win/win murder scenarios
Two adult men discussing their feelings
Honkers
Cargo cults
The Tribe of Fire
Gahck
Some romance
A Spiny Honker
The Honker of Doom
Pit traps, with and without shallow holes
A dastardly but ineffectual plot
Apocalypse, kind of
One of Wolverine’s many kids (who may or may not be Erista)
Jay & Miles at FlameCon 2018
How to get us at your local convention
Reading comics with Miles’s dad
Seriously, though: honkers
NEXT EPISODE: Even more Excaliburs
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In which space bugs break time; you may already be a member of Excalibur; Earth-616 remains somewhat baffled by basic telecommunications technology; you should absolutely not order monkeys from an ad in a comic book; Widget gets a new look; Excalibur gets a new logo; Merlin X-Plains everything; and Rachel gets in touch with her roots.
X-PLAINED:
The Timebroker
Excalibur #48-50
What “fair use” doesn’t mean
Penis bones, revisited
Feron
Prophylactic levitation
Several inaccurate flashbacks
Someone who is neither a Nazi nor Charles Xavier
Necrom (again)
The art of heroic exposition
Monastic population maintenance
Mail-order monkeys
Widget’s new look
Kylun’s mutant power
Several alternate Excaliburs
The True Secret Purpose of Excalibur
The new Excalibur logo
Fighting weird with weird
A whole lot of history
Phoenix vs. Anti-Phoenix
Some very epic thwarting
The end of an era
Alan Davis’s Excalibur
How we work alternate timelines into coverage
Bishop and Deathbird as a couple
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure and Bloody Choices!
UPDATE: Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairly nightmarish accounts of live mail-order monkeys. …Yay?
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In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.
X-PLAINED:
Brother Mutant
X-Force #8-10
X-Force (again)
A protracted flashback
The Wild and/or Six Pack
A heist
A trap
Yet more Ed Wood references
A future
The Professor (Ship)
Gratuitous face shadows
A mystery
Cable casting
Several misplaced word balloons
The logistics of tentacle arms
The High Lords (Externals)
Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
General Clark and his diving suit
Good Magneto stories
How to get your dad into X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!
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194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Apr 23, 2018
In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.
X-PLAINED:
The Tithe
The Momentary Princess
The T’ieves Guild
Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
X-Men #8-9
Ghost Rider #26-27
The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
Genesis
The last of the X-Men
A sick burn
A picnic
Boundaries
Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
Ghost Rider
Psegway
Julian Boudreaux
How not to respond to a speeding ticket
The Bootie Man
Horse names vs. katana names
Cathartic excess
X-holidays
Doomsday
Good characters from awful events
NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins
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In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.
X-PLAINED:
Whether Professor Xavier is dead
Marvel time vs. podcast time
Uncanny X-Men #287-290
The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
A dance of death and destruction
Styglut
Future flashbacks
Sewers of tomorrow
The Witness
“Fun”
Blood math
A mysterious letter
A terrible date
Several capes
The return of the cyburai
A theoretical Hackers crossover
NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Alan Davis’s Excalibur is a spiritual sibling to The Muppet Show; Captain Britain gets a Captain Britain lesson; Opal Luna Saturnyne has no time for your nonsense; Meggan and Rachel take a brief detour into a Hammer film; Earth-148 is extra heroic; no member of Excalibur will ever use a bathroom in peace; Cerise joins the team; Technet embraces the future; and the end of the world is nigh.
X-PLAINED:
Pixie’s powers and parentage
Several eccentricities of Jay’s apartment
Excalibur #45-47
Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
Comics pacing vs. podcast pacing
Technet (more) (again)
Amelia Witherspoon and several references related thereto
The N-Men
How to Captain Britain
The multiversal significance of the lighthouse
A portentous chess game
A particularly aggressive retcon
The return of the Neuri
The real Meggan
Necrom
A heroic death
The true curse of Excalibur
Some very specific citations
A reunion
Kylun (Colin McKay)
A blessed event
Cerise
Whether Rogue can control Cyclops’s powers
Laura Kinney’s upcoming reversion to X-23
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop joins the X-Men!
ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT UPDATE: The wall on which Jay was attempting to mount a desk turned out to be plaster over sheetrock. Office plans are being revised accordingly.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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191 – Unconscionably Sexy (feat. Kelly Thompson)
Apr 01, 2018
In which writer Kelly Thompson joins us to talk Rogue and Gambit; Antarctica is Earth’s answer to the Blue Area of the Moon; Kelly unfreezes one of the great X-romances; Rogue has walked a mile in everyone’s shoes; you should probably not take romantic cues from fictional characters; Gambit should always wear hot pink; and continuity is fundamentally messy.
X-PLAINED:
What happened in Antarctica
The Trial of Gambit
Rogue and Gambit
Narrative tension vs. growth
Dueling accents
Kelly’s defining Rogue and Gambit stories
The cool-versus-creepy line
Making deep cuts accessible
The evolution of Rogue
The future of the X-line
Favorite costumes
Equal-opportunity objectification
Fundamental contradictions of continuity
Hawkeye team-ups
Date night with Rogue and Gambit
MTV’s Are You the One
RomCom hybrids
NEXT EPISODE: Meet the N-Men!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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190 – Local Yokels
Mar 26, 2018
In which the term “bloodlust” shows up a lot in popular culture; Wolverine pees between panels; Michael Higgins has a lot to answer for; Jay wants to fight a comic book; Nightcrawler’s limbs have never seemed more potent; Florida kids don’t understand basements; and Doug Ramsey didn’t die for this.
X-PLAINED
Chaos War
Destiny’s diaries
Wolverine: Bloodlust
Excalibur: The Possession
Bloodlust
Several approaches to sound effects
The greatest sound effect
Perfect binding
Several men who may or may not be Santa Claus
The Christmas spirit
Saskia
The Hair
Some varyingly graphic murders
The Alshra
The Neuri
Wendigo rules
Adamantium vs. healing factor
Where Wolverine pees
A statement of enmity
Potent limbs
Mr. Kaplan
Weird happenings
A man who is very obviously Merlin
Some pedagogy
An unfavorable Ed Wood comparison
The Changeling (again)
X-Force P.R.
Space bros
NEXT EPISODE: Romance and Banter with Kelly Thompson!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?
Mar 21, 2018
In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.
X-PLAINED:
The Franklin Richards of Earth X
The One True Cable
X-Force #5-7
Pocket-Size Juggernaut
A novel approach to trauma surgery
A moment of intersectionality
Teeth of the early ’90s
Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
A villain speech
X-Force’s bathtub
Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
Cooking with Boom Boom
Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Phantazia
Writers vs. Scripters
Sex Ed at the Xavier School
The Worst Twitter Thread
NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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188 – Live from ECCC, feat. Bret Blevins, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Ramon Villalobos
Mar 12, 2018
In which Jay makes a sartorial switch; Hope Summers is less confusing than you might expect; we are very happy to present our first all-artist convention special; Ramon kills his idols; Rachelle deciphers the past; Bret (re)defines New Mutants; a long-time mystery is resolved; colorists deserve more respect; the Xavier School probably has an actual curriculum; and a lot of X-Men have really cool hair.
X-PLAINED:
The adventures of Hope Summers
Several Phoenix hosts
The time Quentin Quire became a Shi’ar god
Jay’s mom
Our panelists’ definitive X-Men
E for Extinction
Killing your idols
Coloring as archaeology
Visually defining the X-Men
New Mutants that might have been
Favorite costumes
The actual color of Storm’s ’90s costume
Editorial direction vs. editorial mandate
Practical considerations in costume design
Actual education at the Xavier School
Wolverine’s assorted children
The best hair in the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Cannonball dies (briefly)!
No visual companion to this one, but check out the first part of our ECCC gallery over on our blog!
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In which Lee Forrester deserved better; we have somehow made 187 of these; Bizarre Adventures is accurately named; the Grey sisters do not steal a yacht; trite jerks are doubly offensive; Black Panther is everything and you should go see it right now; Namor has a type; Attuma reads like an import from Game of Thrones; Florida is the Australia of North America; Iceman has a good weekend; half of the Vanisher materializes in Poughkeepsie; and Jay’s mom is the best Cable.
X-PLAINED:
What Lee Forester has been up to
How this happened
Bizarre Adventures #27
The not-particularly-secret lives of the X-Men
Jay’s Book of Irrelevant Headcanon
“The Brides of Attuma”
Sara Grey
Several incidents in the life of Jean Grey
A plan as ineffectual as it is dastardly
“Winter Carnival”
“Titan Up the Defense”
The peculiar predominance of ice sculpture in the Marvel Universe
Bubba
The Apple Profile
Festive bandits
A heist
A very fancy cane
“Show Me the Way to Go Home”
Nightcrawler’s favorite movie
The Count Duckula theme song
Some very friendly ladies
ECCC cosplay
Sev the Oracle
Whether Buffy is a Summers sibling
Whom we would merge with cosmic forces
The Queen of Nevers
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con!
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In which you are the wind beneath our wings; Sunfire doesn’t quit the team even once; the X-Men do “Judgment War,” kinda; Iceman’s clothes are mostly incidental; Mikhail Rasputin is a surprisingly accomplished vintner; Colossus has a bad day; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau is a core value; and we are REALLY excited about our plans for Emerald City Comic Con!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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185 – Becoming Wolverine (feat. Tom Taylor)
Feb 19, 2018
In which All-New Wolverine and X-Men Red writer Tom Taylor joins us to talk friendship, heroism, pelican statues, and how to build on legacy without being bogged down by it.
X-PLAINED
The epic awesomeness of Gabrielle Kinney
All-New Wolverine
The evolution of Best Wolverine
Character-first story
Family
X-Men Red
Finding Jean Grey’s voice
Gentle (Nezhno Abidemi)
Transcending the Silver Age
Laura Kinney in Logan
Wolverine-style brain surgery
Editing down to the bones
Tom’s comfort reads
Secret origins of Tom Taylor
Writing like a street performer
Koalas vs. reavers
NEXT EPISODE: The Boringest Rasputin
Find links to the stories mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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184 – Sweetcakes
Feb 12, 2018
David is still on vacation. Please enjoy this reasonable gentleman and his fancy accoutrements!
In which the 616 was inside Age of X all along; everyone is very sassy; an attempt at political commentary falls very flat; Wolfsbane kills a straw man; everything is better with Larry Stroman; the Rule of Cool is not transitive; X-Factor Quicksilver is the best Quicksilver; and some allegories are subtler than others.
X-PLAINED:
How to hide a universe
Bees
“War and Pieces”
X-Factor #76-78
The Incredible Hulk #390-392
Open-ended vs. trade pacing
Rick Jones, professional tag-along
Trans-Sabal
The Eisenhower Doctrine
The Reagan Doctrine
The ethics of cannibalism
Fictional pigeon aficionados
As story that isn’t about abortion but is definitely about abortion
X-Factor vs. due process
A very hazardous game of tug-of-war
Gratuitous X-planation
An unnecessary but well-intended rescue attempt
The death of Vic Chalker
Irresponsible parenting
The second generation of mutants
NEXT EPISODE: Tom Taylor talks X-Men Red and All-New Wolverine!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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183 – Mutant Death Factor
Feb 05, 2018
David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.
In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.
X-PLAINED:
Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Creative use of teleportation
X-Modifiers
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
The sitcom model of creative logistics
One way to bring someone back to life
Mutant Death Factor
Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
Wolverine’s school pictures
Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
Sex at the X-Mansion
Fenris fashion
Ritualistic facepalming
Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
Formalwear and motorcycle safety
An elegantly choreographed cockblock
Retracting tentacle logistics
Carbonadium synthesizers
Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
Ponytails as moral compasses
Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
Ornithology
Those big, weird tube handcuff things
Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
The return of Longshot
What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
Some X-Cellent fanfiction
X-details we’d change
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!
Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Alan Davis spins dangling plot threads into gold; comics artists are storytellers; Technet is a feature, not a bug; Brian Braddock’s issues reach their boiling point; if you’re going to learn about Earth from TV, you should probably stick with PBS; and our Lila Cheney t-shirts are officially canon!
X-PLAINED:
An unlikely alliance
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Alan Davis’s return to Excalibur
Excalibur #42-44
Breakfast with Excalibur
Hard-Boiled Henry
Horatio Cringebottom
Bert
Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
Kylun (Colin McKay)
Unlikely houseguests
A romance
A fracas
The trial of Captain Britain
Multiversal moral relativity
Micromax (Scott Wright)
Lunch with Technet
Why public television funding is important
How Shadowcat’s phasing interacts with extreme temperatures
Our opinions on X-Men: Gold Annual #1
NEXT EPISODE: Omega Red!
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In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn’s costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure.
X-PLAINED:
Rumekistan
X-Force #1-4
Spider-Man #16
Leaping, both literal and metaphorical
Cannonball
Boom Boom
Cable
Domino
Warpath
Feral
Shatterstar
Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again)
MLF
The second and third-best-selling issues of all time
The Profit$
A very violent catchphrase
Chalet Shwartzkopf
Power Poses™ with Gideon™
The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane)
6-Pack
Good vs. Awesome
George Washington Bridge
A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel
Some sports stuff, kind of
Uncomfortable anachronism
The stylistic necessity of healing factors
Marvel Unlimited view options
Rogue and Gambit
NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet!
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In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.
X-PLAINED:
The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer
NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns
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In which X-Factor gets a revamp; Larry Stroman is the best part of 1991; Havok used to have principles; Multiple Man is his own worst enemy; Jay’s Doonesbury knowledge finally becomes relevant; Strong Guy breaks the Washington Monument; and Val Cooper may or may not have married Mister Sinister.
X-PLAINED:
The Madrox who got away
Alan Disambiguation
The X-Factor that might have been
X-Factor #71-75
Banter™
A small selection of a gratuitously large volume of pop-culture references
An evil individual
One of the many deaths of Multiple Man
Larry Stroman extras
Professor Vic Chalker
A Sinister scheme
The iteration of X-Factor most likely to end up naked on television
Your real-life Jamie Madrox reference
GeeCees
A canonical Doonesbury reference
One way to get out of writing a term paper
The proper plural of Madrox
Ricochet
The Nasty Boys
Death by irony
The evolution of Magik’s Soul Sword
Why female superheroes rarely date civilian men
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.
X-PLAINED:
Loa
The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
Blue Team
Gold Team
Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
How comics sales are counted
Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
A space fight
Revision vs. reversion
What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
Daring loungewear worn well
Fabian Cortez
Flatscans
Disproportionate escalation
The Acolytes
Delgado, kind of, maybe
Several notable absences
The Magneto Protocols
That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
Some dubious science
A semi-invisible plane
Code Silver
Further miracles of magnetism
Producer Matt Hunter
Chiptunes
Podcasting about video games
The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Best X-Toon holiday episodes
NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!
Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!
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In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!
X-PLAINED:
The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
VHS tapes
Blockbuster KidPrint
Mariano Nicieza
Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
A man who may or may not be D-Man
Terrence
Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
Varying coherent cautionary tales
The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
A tragic lack of carnies
Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
Big Tex
Activities
Smokescreen
Bret Jackson
Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
The South Side Social Club
Jake
Etiquette of following teenagers around
A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
Where to find Bloodstorm
Baby Jumping
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!
LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to XPlaintheXMen@gmail.com with the subject PSA by December 27!
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In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.
X-PLAINED:
Wolverine’s CIA contacts
Murder-related birthday traditions
Wolverine #48-50
The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
Wolverine size creep
Injudicious footwear
Serial sidekicks
Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
Panties and/or grenades
Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
How memory works
Mastodon
Andre
How memory doesn’t really work
Kids’ toy licensing
Quasimodo’s hangout
Women in Refrigerators
Secret agent skills
The Dalton school of argument
A legitimately cool cover gimmick
Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
Adamantium handicrafts
Shiva (but not that one)
Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
A cataclysmic memory backlash
Antarctic X-Hijinks
Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS
NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas
CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.
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In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.
X-PLAINED:
Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
X-Men: True Friends #1-3
The poor man’s Alan Davis
Trad night
Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
Inexplicably absent familial relationships
Queen Lilibet the Second
Lady Regina Windermere
Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
A snazzy airplane
Several nefarious plots
Formal pajamas
The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
How characters end up with their specific mutations.
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.
X-PLAINED:
X-Men: Red
Namor’s beard
The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
Uncanny X-Men #280
X-Factor #70.
Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
Off-brand Magneto hats
Literary terrors of our childhoods
Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
Casual use of nuclear weaponry
The cavalry
The end of the Shadow King
The most dysfunctional timeline
Uncanny X-Men #200-278
The case for an eclectic X-Universe
X-Campus
Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work
NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design
The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?
(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.
X-PLAINED:
Universes where people are other people
What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
Uncanny X-Men #278-279
X-Factor #69
Teflon continuity
Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
An alternate timeline
Corpse telepathy
A diabolical plan, sort of
Topicality
Theft
Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
Improbable aerodynamics
The greatest thing
The death of Peter Nicholas
The uncanny genital valley
Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
X-Pokémon
NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!
ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops’s X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit.
X-PLAINED:
The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings)
X-Factor Forever #1-5
Earth-TRN237
What makes a good Forever comic
The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns)
MaXimum pants
Ship the ship
The Celestial Host
Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse
The Master Meld variations
Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons)
En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer
Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements
Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names
The Apocalypse Journal
Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans
Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats
Mutant fertility
Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb
Definitive versions of characters and their relationships
En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body
That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world
DC Comics’s Hellfire Club
Trans X-Men
But no seriously that jacket
NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Miles speculates about superheroes’ sex lives; Doctor Doom is an incorrigible scamp; the Lady of the Lake visits California; Captain Britain lacks basic superheroic social skills; Jay has strong feelings about doggerel; the warwolves know how to commit to a bit; and Excalibur and the X-Men continue to have terrible communication skills.
X-PLAINED:
One aspects of doombot functionality
Excalibur #37-41
The Soul Sword’s origins and current status
Promethium
Semantic disambiguation with regards to Limbo
The West Coast Avengers
The Lady of the Swimming Pool
Doctor Doom’s personal demons
Several team-ups
The heart of Limbo
Phoenix science
Darkoth the Demon (Desmond Pitt)
The Trial of Lockheed
A long-awaited reunion that isn’t actually a long-awaited reunion
A theoretical Frost-Summers wedding
What happened to Jen Askani post- “Endgame”
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Justin Thyme is a forgotten superstar of comics; Nazis should pretty much never be used as a metaphor; Charles Xavier is somehow even worse than usual; Excalibur may lack object permanence; Phoenix defeats Hitler with the power of gayness; we may have hit Peak Nocenti; Brett Blevins should draw Boom Boom forever; and the New Mutants get a taste of media theory.
X-PLAINED:
The exact nature of Shatterstar and Longshot’s relationship
Excalibur: Weird War III
New Mutants Summer Special: A Mutant in Megalopolis
Justin Thyme
Bad Kansas
Nazi Charles Xavier
Kinda-Nazi Moira MacTaggert
The Reichsmen
Lightning Squad (again)
Naked Space Xavier
Largely unsuccessful denouement
The Wobbly Sneaker Gang
Megalopolis
Media theory and several of its anthropomorphic personifications
Socially conscious comics
The Gifted
The New Mutants trailer
NEXT EPISODE: Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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168 – Live at NYCC, feat. Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson
Oct 16, 2017
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which things are not as they were; “yaybopunk” is definitely our aesthetic; Cable is officially foreshadowed; and the NYCC live show did in fact go really well!
X-PLAINED:
Cable’s childhood
Some ECCC plans
X-Factor #65-68
The Riders of the Storm
“Riders on the Storm”
Some X-Factors that might have been
Babies as drawn by Whilce Portacio
Medieval cats
Yaybohunk vs. yaybopunk
A red herring
Jen Askani
A kidnapping
Visual representations of hacking
How to effectively evoke the Dark Phoenix Saga
The plural of “Apocalypse”
Rad fights on the moon
Something you should definitely cosplay
Cyclops narration
A psychic duel
A choice
Resets vs. returns
The Apocalypse Manifesto
The Crafters of Apocalypse
NEXT EPISODE: Live at New York Comic Con, with Chris Claremont & Louise Simonson!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Charles Xavier returns to the pages of Uncanny X-Men; Storm is out of our league forever; Miles would be a terrible president; Psylocke picks up the frequent-shower torch; everyone gets possessed; Gambit acts more Sinister than he is; and our NYCC panel is definitely on THURSDAY, not Friday.
X-PLAINED:
The Pantheon
Uncanny X-Men #275-277
Dinosaurs in space
A very impressive cover
Several kinds of manacle
Small children we’d like to see beat up Gladiator
Varying levels of Evil Charles Xavier
A nefarious plan
Double death
FailCat Logan
Two bad, beautiful babes with really big guns
Some excellent sound effects
Awesome space fights
Shopping with Deathbird
Mall vs. maul
X-archenemies
NEXT EPISODE: The Kings of Pain!
NOTE: Seriously, the NYCC Panel is on THURSDAY. Not Friday. THURSDAY. It’s official now.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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164 – This Is the Mutant Revolution: Live at Rose City Comic Con
Sep 18, 2017
In which Jay and Miles finally sit down for an in-depth discussion of the political weight of superheroes and what the X-Men mean to us in America’s current political climate.
Correction: In the episode, we said that Kyle Yount produced this one. In actuality, Kyle recorded the episode and Kurt Loyd produced it. Sorry, Kurt!
You can find our photos from Rose City Comic Con on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.
NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.
X-PLAINED:
Sentinel Aesthetics
Prime Sentinels
“Colossus: God’s Country”
Butt physics
The Cold War
Colossus’s feelings about porn
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
Some varyingly dubious politics
The Cold Warriors
Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
Bipartisan satire
Jay’s grandfather
An uncomfortable picnic
Limbs
Number Six (but not that one)
Terrible neighbors
“Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
Bobbie and Mary Campbell
Master Mold (again)
Stephen Lang (again)
Servitors
A well-honed lobster alert system
The Retribution Virus
Conscience
A terrible party
Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
Community Organizer Magneto
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which almost everyone is better than Romulus; Barry Windsor-Smith continues to draw the best naked X-Men; Jay has strong feelings about Wolverine’s origins; Miles still hasn’t seen The Prisoner; when in doubt, it’s probably Kang the Conqueror and/or Mystique; we remain unqualified to give bear-fighting advice; you should not hide out in a nuclear reactor; and the Coffee-a-Go-Go has probably been turned into a new-wave sushi bar or something.
X-PLAINED:
The Professor (Truett Hudson)
Romulus
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Marvel Comics Presents #72-84
“Weapon X”
Backstory attrition
A really good opening montage
Some very effective use of color
Healing hair
The original villain behind Weapon X
A retconned origin of Wolverine’s claws
Dr. Abraham Cornelius
Carol Hines
Terry Gilliam’s Weapon X
Audio vs. text-based mind control
An action figure in dubious taste
The Milgram Experiment
An adaptation we’d like to see
A bad place to hide
Subsequent “Weapon X” retcons
How Cyclops’s powers have (and haven’t) developed
Jay’s general failure at X-tourism
NEXT WEEK: More MCP, featuring “The Retribution Affair” and “God’s Country”!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; “Girls’ School from Heck” is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.
X-PLAINED
The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
Perks of home recording
FlameCon 2017
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Excalibur #32-36
“Girls’ School from Heck!”
St. Searle’s School for Young Ladies
St. Trinian’s and a large number of references thereto
Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
Miss Rutherford
A poorly staged panel
Phoebe Huntsman
Kitty Pryde’s penmanship
Margaret Thatcher’s weirdly wholesome fantasies
The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
The end of Chris Claremont’s run on Excalibur
Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
An abduction
The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
Mariner disambiguation
A rescue
An unlikely partnership
Darkmoor Research Center
Dr. Walshe
A somewhat convoluted plot
Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
The physics of Asteroid M
NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!
X-TRA – FlameCon 2017 Sofa Special, feat. Sina Grace, James Tynion IV, and Niki Johnson
Aug 23, 2017
Thanks again to James and Sam for letting us use their hotel room for this ridiculousness!
WHAT?! Less than a month back, and it’s a brand new mid-week bonus episode!
In which Jay, Niki, Sina, and James drink fancy Scotch and talk FlameCon; what X-Men means to us as queer readers and writers; the difference between the bat family and the X-Men; mutant metaphors; favorite ‘ships; and more!
This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny
Aug 21, 2017
In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson’s tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually.
X-PLAINED:
The Intelligentsia
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con
Prestige Format comics
X-Factor: Prisoner of Love
X-Factor #63-64
A possible cameo
Synthia Naip
Several ways to identify individuals from outer space
Visual conceits of supernatural noir
A deeply unhealthy relationship
The mysterious wereStarlin
The hickey of destiny
Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal
Cyburai and/or cyberpunks
What makes for good team costumes
Post-Iceman cleanup
The secret origins of Opal Tanaka
Tatsu’o
Hiro
The Gal Pal Squad
Assorted macho bullshit
The end of Louise Simonson’s involvement with the central X-line
Where to find Dr. Nemesis
Magneto’s D&D alignment
Whether and when video reviews will return
NEXT EPISODE: Girls’ School from Heck!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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159 – Childhood’s End
Aug 14, 2017
***NOTE: We’re aware of the audio issues in this episode. We’re still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!***
In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles’s dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball’s Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral’s pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants.
X-PLAINED:
Zero
Production transitions
The end of New Mutants
New Mutants #98-100
Plotting vs. scripting
The most valuable issue of New Mutants
Gideon
Liefeld butts (more) (again)
The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa
Tolliver
Some Spider-Man looking jerk
Domino (Neena Thurman)
A specific and likely inaccurate timeline
Feral (Maria Callasantos)
The signature Liefeld Kick™
The Tavern on the Green
Five or six kinds of mutants
A sad goodbye
Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
Cadre Alliance
Nesting habits of the urban bohunk
Some rad moves
A prologue that is also an epilogue
The Stryfe that might have been
How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline
X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice
Jay at FlameCon!!
NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.
X-PLAINED:
Ka-Zar’s real name
Shanna the She-Devil
Our new production set-up
What we did on our summer vacations
Previously on X-Men
Further limits of the mutant metaphor
Uncanny X-Men #273-275
A crisis of leadership
A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
Cable’s OkCupid profile
Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
Archangel’s middle name
Gambit vs. Wolverine
Censorship Steam
The protean X-bathroom
Magneto’s retconned family
Colonel Semyanov
A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
Some remarkably lucky timing
The semantics of heel turns
Gender and sidekicks
Mr. Sinister’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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157 – Melted to Slag
May 01, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!
X-PLAINED:
The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
Uncanny X-Men #272
New Mutants #97
X-Factor #62
The Story So Far
Glasses fashions in comics
The difference between Batman and the Punisher
How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
Acceptable pants
Some really sketchy judicial process
A ruse
Several retcons concerning Wolverine
Consequence-free impaling
Chekhov’s genetic engineering
Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
The relative durability of mutants
A number of prescient threats
This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
Summers Brothers team-ups
A very cathartic fight
Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
Our plans for the hiatus
THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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156 – Genosha Strikes Back
Apr 24, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.
X-PLAINED:
Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
Our upcoming hiatus
Dramatis personae
A figurative battering ram
Focused totality
Best insults of the 1990s
A debate
Ethics of rhetoric
Housecat Havok
Skittering
Mutate numbering systems
The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
Sneaking with Cable
A singularly anticlimactic cover
A lushly illustrated report
Increasingly petty revenge
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
A rising storm
Art teams
What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot
NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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155 – X-Tinction Event
Apr 17, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which the X-Tinction Agenda begins in earnest; Jim Lee rocks our world; Cable doesn’t need any Mickey-Mouse schedules; Jean Grey is not paid by the word; Havok makes a heel turn; Boom Boom’s pretext of self-interest fools no one; Cameron Hodge is STILL the worst; and Jay and Miles make an announcement.
X-PLAINED:
Warlock across the multiverse
Uncanny X-Men #270, New Mutants #95, X-Factor #60
X-Tinction Agenda
The first modern crossover
The creative state of the X-line
Limitations of Marvel Unlimited
Dramatis Personae
Mickey-Mouse schedules
The X-Men, who do not die the old-fashioned way
One-way nude teleportation
Magistrate Summers
The return of Cameron Hodge’s angry severed head
Wipeout (again)
Mutates
The death of Warlock
The esoteric paraphernalia of war
Silver Age misogyny
What we’d do differently if we introduced the X-Men in 2017
Our upcoming hiatus
NEXT EPISODE: It gets worse.
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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154 – Leaning into the Metaphor (feat. Sina Grace)
Apr 10, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which incoming Iceman writer Sina Grace joins us to talk about the coolest X-Man; Adult Bobby Drake gets the spotlight; no one looks too closely at the jokester; the mutant metaphor works both globally and personally; and we are all a little horrified by how long ago Grant Morrison’s New X-Men run happened.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
153 – Mermaid Parade
Apr 03, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn’t too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere.
X-PLAINED:
The Montesi Formula
Excalibur #28-31
The Gilded Lady
The quintessential post-college experience
The word “cooter”
Relative gullibility
A generally unacceptable issue
Loungewear
Vampires, kind of
Some uncomfortably colonial imagery
Krakoa, Jr.
The Vega Men
The aftermath of Axis
Colossus’s probable politics
NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.
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152 – Ghosts of Future Present
Mar 27, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.
X-PLAINED:
Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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151 – Czars of Kung Fu
Mar 20, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Laura easily is worth a dozen Old Mans Logan; Charlotte Jones is the EveryCop; Genosha remains a fairly versatile allegory; Hydra are totally Nazis; Jubilee gets the best sound effects; Rogue has a bad day; and it’ll take more than a sun to stop Lila Cheney.
X-PLAINED:
Graydon Creed
Logan oversaturation (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #264, 268, 269
A somewhat convoluted status quo
Death by Derrida
New York’s sewers (kind of) (maybe)
The Misty Knight rule
Jackets of the ’90s
Cap’s cape
Mustache metaphysics
The Press Gang (again)
VR.5
The Doctrine of Hot Pursuit
Dazzler, in handy grenade form
A prescient scenario
Jim Lee signature cocktail dresses
A dubious approach to first aid
Wolverine’s sexy friends
Nazi ducks
Seraph
Ivan Petrovitch
Sexy subversion
Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
Mutants vs. the Terrigen Mists
TaXonomy of ambiguously X-characters
NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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150 – Live at ECCC, feat. Dennis Hopeless and Charles Soule
Mar 13, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which writers Dennis Hopeless and Charles Soule join us for a live episode at Emerald City Comic Con, Age of X is the world’s worst morale boost; Charles and Dennis X-Plain the Marvel Universe; we still can’t get Hieronymus Bosch’s X-Men out of our heads; and apparently somehow we’ve recorded and posted 150 of these things.
X-PLAINED:
Age of X
Evil Moira MacTaggert Disambiguation
The post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe
Major X-Men turning points
ResurrXion
Planning events
A profoundly unexpected crossover
Namor’s definitive qualities
Our dream X-creators
Where to find Havok in current comics
Earned deaths
The pronunciations of several words
Teams we’d like to see revived or revisited
NEXT EPISODE: The road to X-Tinction Agenda continues!
No visual companion this week, but wait ’til you see our ECCC photos!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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149 – Panning for Callbacks
Mar 07, 2017
Art by David Wynne. href=”http://particlefiction.bigcartel.com/”>Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Old Man Logan is probably better than it deserves to be; Steve McNiven is magical; the post-apocalyptic future probably belongs to the LARPers; Miles’s dad may or may not secretly be Hawkeye; all babies are supervillains; every movie should have a dinosaur chase scene; Emma Frost is our queen forever; and you should never trust a Hitler cosplayer.
X-PLAINED:
Wolverine: Lord of the Vampires
Mark Millar
Wolverine vol. 3 #66-72
Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan
The Hooded Man
“Old Man Logan” vs. Old Man Logan
The difference between Logan and Wolverine
Old-timey apocalypses
The Hulk Gang
Old Man Hawkeye
The Spider-Buggy
Moloids
Hammer Falls
Ultron-8
Several generations of supervillains
How the world fell under darkness
President Red Skull
Some very cathartic violence
Narrative functions of the rampage
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Emerald City Comic Con, with Dennis Hopeless & Charles Soule!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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148 – That’s So Ravens
Feb 27, 2017
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Archangel falls in with the LARP crowd; all yuppies are (probably) vampires; Beast is kind of a jerk; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Forge; and you should totally come hang out with us at ECCC!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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147 – The Beginning of the End of the Beginning
Feb 20, 2017
In which the New Mutants get a new status quo (and new costumes); we have deeply mixed feelings about Rob Liefeld; Cable is the comprehensive sex-ed to Xavier’s staunch denial and Magneto’s abstinence-only; Rictor gets a new dad by right of arms; and you should totally come party with us at Emerald City Comic Con!
X-PLAINED:
Feral Wolverine
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
New Mutants #90, 91, 93, and 94
Early Rob Liefeld
Caliban vs. Sabretooth
Vertical spreads
Stately Xavier Ruins
How to confuse Freedom Force
Imaginary fashions of the early ’90s
How Rictor’s father may or may not have died
The New Mutants’ new uniforms
A lovingly-rendered butt
Improv with Apocalypse
The mystery of Rictor’s shirt
Seismic weaving
The Japanese branch of the MLF (Kamikaze, Sumo, and Dragoness)
The Mutual Liberation Front
Diana, Warrior Princess (again)
Several kisses
Sleet
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Fights Yuppie LARPers or Something
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay referred to Bob Harras as Editor-in-Chief of Marvel in 1990. Tom DeFalco was in fact Editor-in-Chief; Harras was the X-Men line editor.
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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146 – Asshole Factor (feat. Elisabeth Allie)
Feb 13, 2017
In which Elisabeth plans for her reign as Omniversal Majestrix; Hulks and moons are two great tastes that go great together; Nightcrawler takes the lead; Alastair gets a new gadget; it’s just not a cosmic event without Alan Davis; Mastermind is still the absolute worst; Excalibur fixes problems by playing dress-up; Moira MacTaggert desperately needs to hire some staff; and Jamie Braddock is legitimately terrifying.
X-PLAINED:
M’gubgub
Nth Man
Excalibur #25-27
Nova (Frankie Raye)
The continually poor decisions of Brian Braddock
A convergence of cosmic forces
Lumberjack Death
Character growth both literal and metaphorical
A cosmic snit
Asshole Factor
A villainous ruse
Several rounds of reality warping
Definitive incarnations of characters
NEXT EPISODE: Rictor has issues!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on the blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which Val Cooper remains the club queen of U.S. Intelligence; the Shadow King is a huge jerk; Storm is a badass at any age; Gambit gets off to a surprisingly good start; “flesh and spirit” is the new “body and soul”; and we are guardedly optimistic about an upcoming release.
X-PLAINED:
Unconventional evidence of nefarious influence
Uncanny X-Men #265-267
Storm’s early origins
The Shadow King
Deb Levin
A kind of pointless revenge plot
Trouble in space
A great deal of larceny
Counterintuitive costuming
The debut of Gambit
An unnecessarily complicated plan
Charm, and charm
Regrets
Our thoughts on the upcoming Legion series
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur meanders, with guest X-Pert Elisabeth Allie!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)
Jan 30, 2017
In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
“Return of the King”
Rapping in character
Beats in the gutters
A vehement defense of Nate Grey
Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
Earth-1991
Geshem
Many puns of varying quality
EiC Cable
A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!
In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
143 – Seduction of the Innocent
Jan 16, 2017
Art by David Wynne.
In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads.
X-PLAINED:
Nocturne
Excalibur #21-24
The end of the Cross-Time Caper
Post-Alan Davis Excalibur
Chris Wozniak
Crusader X
Earth-2122
How to track Excalibur
Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies
Our general indifference to the Shadow King
An alternate history of Earth-811
Earth-23238
An extended Judge Dredd riff
Puberty
Another John Byrne cameo
Several variations on Courtney Ross
Kitty Pryde’s 15th birthday
Nightcrawler’s beard
The Siege Courageous
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic
Jan 09, 2017
In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don’t lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there’s always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor’s will always be worse!
X-PLAINED:
The Tanaka family business
Jay & Miles vs. time travel
Some personal stuff that’s going on
Our definitive Iceman artist
A whole lot of child endangerment
Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s
X-Factor #51-53 and 55
Cable’s first word
Slightly dubious zoning
Charlotte Jones
Opal Tanaka
Mole
Chicken Wings
Grover, but not that Grover
B-grade Sabretooth
A double date
Giant bugs
The Locust (August Hopper)
A walk in the park
A failed proposal
What we talk about when we talk about retcons
NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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Art by David Wynne. No print this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original!
In which we ring in the new year with Cable’s on-page debut; it’s really the ’90s now; we enter the third major era of New Mutants; what Liefeld lacks in craft he makes up for in energy; we pitch a new “What if–” line; Rusty and Skids are terrible superheroes; X-Factor has probably given up on a lot of things; we speculate at gratuitous length on the content of Cable’s pouches; you have reason to go to the devil; and Cable makes a lot more sense when you realize he’s of, by, and for teenagers.
X-PLAINED:
How the Legacy Virus got loose
New Mutants #86-89
Cable’s on-page debut
Rob Liefeld
The third major era of New Mutants
A shift in the balance of power
A comics shop to probably avoid if you time-travel back to the mid 1990s
The stupid adventures of Rusty & Skids
Yet another Acts of Vengeance tie-in
Nitro
An accidental prison break
Cops, or maybe protestors
The Mutant Liberation Front
Feet
A goody two-shoes man-stealing redheaded werewolf
Wildside
Reaper
Strobe
Thumbelina
Tempo
Forearm
Zero
Stryfe
Stryfe’s armor
Spooning with Cable
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor kicks it Silver Age.
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
No prints this week. Contact David Wynne to purchase the original illustration!
140 – Unto Us a Retcon Is Given (feat. Dennis Hopeless)
Dec 26, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which writer Dennis Hopeless returns to the show for an informal introduction to the (first) mutant messiah; Cable is the best-case retcon scenario; Summerses don’t get to retire; calculating relative character age remains functionally impossible; Cable is Marsha to Stryfe’s Jan; and there’s probably already a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta about all of this.
X-PLAINED:
That one time Cable and Stryfe shared a body
Cable (Nathan Christopher Charles Summers)
Spinning nonsense into gold
Cable and X-Force
Cable’s controversial creative origins
Collaborative character creation
Cable origins that might have been
A whole lot of time travel
A whole lot of Summers family nonsense
Professor (Ship)
Tyler Dayspring (Tolliver)
Hope Summers
How to make Cable interesting
What to do after you save the world
Still more time travel
Look, there’s a lot of time travel, okay?
Old-man strength
Stryfe
David Willis’s theory of Batman humor (and Jay’s derivative theory of Stryfe humor)
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Spotlight on Starjammers is basically a RPG module; Jay may or may not have developed superpowers; artfully tattered clothing is a Summers family tradition; the Starjammers kill a planet; Raza may or may not be super progressive; and Professor X dies (again).
X-PLAINED:
The T-Bomb
Spotlight on Starjammers #1-2
The Starjammers (more) (again)
Phlazers
Keel-hauling
The space plank
Phalkon
The Groff System
Vam & Mer
Cr’eee’s dubious past
Several really on-the-nose planets
Doki-Doki Universe
A critical comma
The expected endurance of the Starjammer
A Shi’ar imperial poop fight
Zenith
Many cameos
An entirely gratuitous superhero slugfest
Death Phoenix
Bald Phoenix
Several dropped plot threads
Our thoughts on ResurrXion
Creative teams vs. characters
NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable (feat. Dennis Hopeless)!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which we continue to follow the post-Siege Perilous X-Men; Dazzler finally makes her big-screen debut; Callisto gets a day job; Colossus gets a ponytail; still more X-Men fake their deaths; Jean Grey gets tentacles; Professor Wolverine is a jerk; and Jay overthinks Community.
X-PLAINED:
The new-new Howling Commandos
Hit-Monkey
Uncanny X-Men #259-263
Dazzler: The Movie (again)
Freddie Stanacheck
Eric Beale
What Dazzler would do
Peter Nicholas
Jenny Ransome and Phillip Moreau (again)
Twin Peaks references, canonical and otherwise
Genoshan foreign policy
The value of allegory
Some regrettable X-costumes
That time Jean Grey got tentacles
Molly the cat
Dubious medical ethics
Hardcase and the Harriers
An unlikely pizza party
A theoretical Community/X-Men costume party
NEXT EPISODE: Spotlight on the Starjammers!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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137 – Kicky Kinko Killers (feat. Sarah Kuhn)
Dec 05, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which author Sarah Kuhn joins us to talk about Asian-American and Asian-British representation in superhero comics; Psylocke is the literal embodiment of British imperialism; Jubilee speaks for us all; representation isn’t a Boolean state; Wolverine fails at pop culture references; and somewhere there’s probably a really dark alternate universe where Betsy teamed up with Jamie instead of Brian.
X-PLAINED:
Crimson Dawn
Sarah Kuhn
Uncanny X-Men #256-258
A proactive approach to career advancement
Matsuo Tsurayaba
The Mandarin
A highly symbolic dream sequence
A controversial transformation
Kwannon
What badass looked like in 1990
Several varyingly successful Batman references
Rose Wu
A fairly novel approach to hallucination
Some high-quality invective
Psylocke as a villain
NEXT WEEK: What (almost) everyone else is up to!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we find the idea of Jack Kirby as G-d deeply comforting; “Jercules” is our new favorite insult; the difference between camp and divinity is good backlighting; Zeus does not have the moral high ground; Ron Lim’s Captain Britain is the definitive cad; the Demon Druid is the saddest supervillain; Archangel broods like it’s his day job; and Jay gets to do all the fun voices for once.
X-PLAINED:
The Upstarts
An inflatable Batman
New Mutants #81
Excalibur #20
X-Factor #47
Our favorite Magma story
The best insult
Pugilistic impunity
A context-inappropriate oath
The worst film festival
Fighting fire with Magma
The Demon Druid
A Satanic pirate tavern
Reactorhenge
The depths of fuchsia
Archangel’s deeply weird comfort mechanisms
Some dude named Greg
Publishing delays
NEXT WEEK: Lady Mandarin, feat. Sarah Kuhn
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars (Cross-Time Caper, Part 2)
Nov 21, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else’s geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis’s brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything’s sticky in Madripoor.
X-PLAINED:
X-Manga
Excalibur #16-19
Crosstime
A John Carter riff
A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator
A terrible pick-up line
Kymri
Anjulie
Gender-neutral fantasy armor
Implicit fellatio in several media
Space Fred Savage
An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise)
Tullamore Voge
A grand tourney
A deeply disappointing pastiche
ORZ-1
Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon)
What makes a train sexy
Wolverine’s table manners
Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers
NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival (feat. Scott Koblish)
Nov 14, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Deadpool and X-Men ’92 artist Scott Koblish joins us to present the Summers Family Tree as you’ve never experienced it before; the X-Men go to Dante’s Hell; Dr. Strange gets his Virgil on; Wolverine sniffs snakes; Iceman has probably killed a lot of people; and X-Men fans have remained remarkably consistent over the years.
X-PLAINED
The Summers family
Birthdays at the Xavier mansion
A package as sinister as it is stylish
Uncanny X-Men King-Size Annual #4
One version of Hell
A demon who is also a sorting hat
Another X-Men crossover conspiracy theory
The X-Men’s religious affiliations and lack thereof
Nuance of self-narration
Snakes with arms, and the vocalizations thereof
Dangers of encasing people in ice
The death of Stefan Szardos
An overly complex revenge plot
The origin of that one angry mob from Giant-Size X-Men #1
Kinda-incest
Reader responses to the Dark Phoenix Saga
X-Men vs. board games
The appeal of the Outback X-Men
Artist-character associations
NEXT EPISODE: Kurt Wagner: Warlord… of our hearts!
DEAR MISTER SINISTER lyrics by Jay Edidin & music by Tea Fougner. Performed by Scott Koblish.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
133 – Feisty Little Fellow from the Stars (Judgment War, Part 2)
Nov 07, 2016
In which the plot thickens; Jay and Miles fix Avatar; Ship is a good bro; you are in space right now; the Beginagains go full This Island Earth; Cyclops weaponizes love; voting is really important; and you’re listening to ten straight hours of soft jazz and subversion on ZZ-105
X-PLAINED:
The other Dazzler (Bertram Worthington)
Our newest t-shirt
X-Factor #48-50
A metaphor within a metaphor, in space
The first half of Judgment War (briefly) (again)
A prisoner exchange
Hairstyles of the possessed and famous
Proper use of Cable
A case for retcons
Iceman vs. Archangel
A feisty little fellow from the stars
The secret origin of Ship
The Celestials
The core of Iceman’s personality
Several kisses
Beast and the Rejects
Some terrible hats
An unfair fight
A nefarious plot
Contagious heroism
Arishem
The power of love
Why we use the word “queer”
Several theoretical and unlikely crossovers
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, with musical guest Scott Koblish!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor.
X-PLAINED:
Cortex
Damian Tryp
Our weird 2016 recording schedule
Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest 2016
Recent ResurrXion announcements
The second half of the Asgard Adventure
The end of Bret Blevins’ New Mutants run
New Mutants #82-85
The Odinsleep
A fairly upsetting board game
Volstagg’s awesome kids
Tiwaz of the Wastes
Many excellent hats
Ula and the Savage Swarm
Garm
Miles’s favorite Fenrir story
A remarkably clever villainous plan
A signature sound effect
Karnilla the Norn Queen
Cable’s relationship to Longshot
Recommendations for a comics newcomer
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials, as Judgment War concludes!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jubilee is the sassiest Xenomorph; Lady Deathstrike is way too good for the Reavers; Wolverine gets a sidekick; Forge arm wrestles the Shadow King; Moira takes a cavalier approach lab safety; Magneto’s motives get kind of reconciled; Legion is a chaos gamer; Mystique and Destiny break our hearts; queer erasure in fiction reflects erasure in life; and the Shadow King is not even a little bit subtle.
X-PLAINED:
That one time Donald Pierce pretended to be Cyclops for like a year
The post X-Men X-Men
What may be our deepest cut yet
Uncanny X-Men #252-255
Where’s Wolverine?
The Reaver Bunch
Major-League lumpoids
Robot dingoes
A prescient vision
Trouble at sea
Several significant deaths
Subtext and queer erasure
The key of agony
Smile noises
Non-mutants we’d team up with the X-Men
NEXT WEEK: Back to Asgard!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
130 – The Soule Protocols (feat. Charles Soule)
Oct 16, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which writer Charles Soule joins us for a (spoiler free) discussion of Death of X and how to make mortality matter in universes where death is a revolving door.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)
Oct 10, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.
X-PLAINED:
Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
The Cross-Time Caper
Excalibur #12-15
Three love triangles
Jay’s mom’s late iguana
Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
Prince William
Butch the ogre
Princess Kate
Fisticuffs
Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
Bagpipe Vader
An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
Sorcery 101
Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
Arrested Excalibur
The Campsite Rule of relationships
The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
A protracted parody
A very large number and several names for it
A theoretical team-up
Ultimate Hunger
An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
Some less-than-ideal creative choices
A multiversal montage
Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
A duck
The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
Pairing mutants with metal genres
Inconsistent flight safety measures
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
128 – A Stupid Way to Die (Judgment War, Part 1)
Oct 03, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which X-Factor goes to space; Miles gets judgmental about spelling; Paul Smith returns to an X-title; Celestials are a pain; Judgment War is the Star-Trekkiest story that doesn’t actually involve Star Trek; monster ladies are super important; if you can be a green dude, you should be a green dude; and Cyclops gears up to fight some gods.
X-PLAINED:
One way to kill a Celestial
Judg(e)ment War
Drunk Mark Trail
X-Factor #43-46
Walls you should maybe not bust through even if you’re X-Factor
A completely inappropriate show pitch
Celestials
The true secret purpose of Ship
The Chosen
The Rejects
Dualers
Perfect Seera
Rask
Zarka
Monster ladies in cultural context
Lev
A stupid way to die
Jammers
Plot-relevant amnesia
The Most Perfect
ZZ-105
Baby theft (more)(again)
Ryest
The Beginagains
Whether and when there’ll be another all-question episode
The current status of the Jean Grey school
NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
X-TRA – Sofa Special (feat. Al Ewing)
Sep 30, 2016
We’re celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode!
In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he’s been collecting in New Avengers!
SOME RELEVANT LINKS:
You can find all of our RCCC minicomics right here!
David Malki’s Magneto voicemails are a gift to the world. You can find the full collection here.
This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
127 – Disaster City
Sep 26, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would’ve made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist.
X-PLAINED:
Mirage’s on-again-off-again Valkyrie career
Asgardia
The New Mutants’ previous Asgard adventures
The best single issue of all time
The Naglfar
A proposal for a new calendar
New Mutants #77-80
The Ust-Ordynski Collective (again) (more)
There’s Stuff Going On: The Doctor Strange Story
A very bad decision
Why unicorns are the worst
Doctor Stephen Sanders / Doctor Strange / Doctor Dad
Let’s Make a Deal
Whether arson counts as a personality trait
Several nefarious plans
Creative growth
Disaster City
Fun with the Technarchy
Mindful representation
Miles’s dad’s comics collection
NEXT EPISODE: Judgment War!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
126 – Live at Rose City Comic Con, with Greg Pak
Sep 19, 2016
Art by David Wynne. No prints this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original!
In which we return to Rose City Comic Con and somehow manage to one-up last year’s Stryfe cold open; Greg Pak has secretly written all of the X-books; Cullen Bunn may or may not be watching you RIGHT NOW; the X-Men distill down to murder and kissing; Toshiro Mifune should be everybody; Miles swears first (for once); and we can’t wait to see all of your X-Men roller derby names!
X-PLAINED:
Cold open escalation
Onslaught
Greg Pak
Continuity exegesis
Marrying history and narrative
Murder and kissing
X-Treme X-Men vol. 2
Reimagining characters across the multiverse
Governor-General James Howlett
Magneto: Testament
Where superheroes should and shouldn’t intersect with geopolitical events
Our X-Men buddy-cop duos of choice
X-Commencement speakers
X-Men roller derby names
Contemporary vs. retrospective representations of current events
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants go to Asgard!
There’s not exactly a visual companion to this episode, but you can find a Rose City Comic Con gallery on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
No prints for sale this time, but you can still contact David Wynne for the original of this week’s illustration!
125 – Giant-Size Special #4
Sep 12, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Logan Bonner, Max Carleton, and Crystal Frasier hike up their boxers and join us at the gaming table for an X-Men: Evolution tabletop adventure; what happens in virtual reality stays in virtual reality; Shadowcat is great at boats; Jubilee and Boom Boom blow up everything; Havok tries; and Team Reckless Endangerment wins the day!
FEATURING:
Logan Bonner as Writer and Gamemaster / Erik the Rad
Max Carleton as the Shadowcat / Pirate Kitty
Crystal Frasier as Jubilee / the Genie
Jay Edidin as Havok / the Corsair
Miles Stokes as Boom Boom / Boomavara
NEXT EPISODE: Live from RCCC, with Greg Pak!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which everyone dies (or something); every Summers is miserable in their own way; we are pretty done with Nanny and the Orphanmaker; Lady Deathstrike is a surprisingly astute art critic; the X-Men’s digital invisibility does not extend to the White Pages; we venture into slightly less charted territory; Wolverine has a really bad day; and you should totally come hang out with us at Rose City Comic Con!
X-PLAINED:
Origins of Lady Deathstrike
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
X-Ray party etiquette
Uncanny X-Men #248-251
The precise inverse of an anticlimax
The Siege Perilous (more) (again)
Dramatic parallels
Summers tragedy disambiguation
Jim Lee’s first X-issue
The apparent death of Storm (this time)
The merged Reavers
What it takes for Jay to play a sidescroller
An X-band
Longshot’s departure
A really ineffective rescue
Art-critic Deathstrike
Administrative assistant Jubilee
Zaladane
An unconventional approach to genealogy
The ickiest method of mind control
Dark Claw
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.
X-PLAINED:
The Agent
Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
What Excalibur has instead of annuals
Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
“Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
The Community reference that keeps on giving
How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
A large number of thinly veiled TV references
The X-Babies
Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
Ricochet Rita (again)
Psychonauts
Exploding children (more) (again)
The House of Ideas
The New Universe
Major Domo
Minor Domo
Jay’s dream vacation
Cats Laughing (more) (again)
Cosplay you should totally do
Why you should always read the EULA
The classic X-Men spirit
Some of our favorite cameos
The return of Judith Rassendyll
One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
Where to find Havok in comics
X-Men we’d like to see as wizards
NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
122 – Boom Boom Von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters
Aug 22, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.
X-PLAINED:
Leonard McKenzie
Princess Fen
Tiger Shark
A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
Skateman
Atlantis Attacks
Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
New Mutants Annual #5
X-Factor Annual #4
Ghaur
Llyra
Homomermanus
The Serpent Society
Boomslang
Why snakes don’t wear vests
The Maple Hill Farm books
The Horn of Doom (again)
Namorita
Impractical swimwear
Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
Zak and the Neutrinos
The trouble with mobile landmarks
A case of mistaken identity
The true meaning of something, probably
Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
The definitive Boom Boom
Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
Boom Boom Von Doom
A false dichotomy
Sally Pashkow
A really great outfit
Presidencies rated by X-Books
Best and worst moral inversions
NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!
ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.
NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
121 – Two Sides of a Narcissistic Coin (feat. Ben Acker)
Aug 15, 2016
Art by David Wynne.
In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.
X-PLAINED:
Acker & Blacker
Thrilling Adventure Hour
X-Men #214, but not the real one
Deadpool v. Gambit
As-needed approach to continuity
The ontology of Deadpool
The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
Wolverine Season One
What makes Gambit creepy
The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome
NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!
There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week’s illustration.
120 – Observed by a Family of Lizard People
Aug 08, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which everything is worse with Nazis; Excalibur gets its groove back; Meggan has an identity crisis; Kitty gets a crush; a dragon gets interdimensional sanctuary; and the Cross-Time Caper starts not with a bang, but a foomp.
X-PLAINED:
The death of Lilandra Neramani
Excalibur #8-11
The best name in Hollywood
Still more of Inferno’s aftermath
A basketball game
Blackbird disambiguation
Several long-delayed reunions and one subsequent resolution
Alastaire Stuart (and his banana)
Tourists who are also lizards
Lightning Force
A number of unfortunate encounters
The difference between Errol Flynn characters and Errol Flynn
The fall of Nigel Frobisher
The switch that turns the engine invisible
What may be the world’s least subtle euphemistic use of the term “roommate”
How the discourse around comics has changed since the ’80s
Jubilee vs. power creep
NEXT EPISODE: Deadpool v Gambit, with Ben Acker!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)
Aug 01, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.
X-PLAINED:
The S-Men
New Mutants Forever #1-5
Magma’s revised family tree
Updating the New Mutants
The delicate balance of the Forever line
The web
Idiom confusion
A flawed cultural analogy
Tiberius the Generic
Several profoundly dubious costumes
Family resemblance
Skull v. Skull
The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters
NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis
Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which you really can’t compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs.
X-PLAINED:
What happened to the Inferno babies
X-Factor #40-42
Madelyne Pryor’s funeral
Post-Inferno X-Factor
Archangel’s inconsistent appearance
Secret origins of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
Teenagers (more) (again)
Tom Jones (Alchemy)
Conversations we probably shouldn’t have with Neal Conan
Trolls of London
Dubious super-parenting
Phy
Phay
Phee
Phough
Phumm
Troll economics
A grocery list
The Ravenmaster
Miles’s mom
NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.
X-PLAINED
New Son/New Sun
Post-Inferno New Mutants
New Mutants #74-76
Babies
Ship shipping
Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
A long-anticipated showdown
Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
The Mutant Wars
The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
Recycled powers
Friendly sentinels
NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.
NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by Marc Silvestri from Uncanny X-Men #244. David Wynne’s art will return next episode!
In which Jubilee makes her fabulous debut, the X-Ladies visit Hotbods, the X-Dudes accidentally (and drunkenly) save the world, Longshot is Sexy Johnny Karate, the only thing worse than one anti-mutant super-robot is two, and we say goodbye to a quarter of the team.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
No illustration this week, but David Wynne‘s art will be back next episode!
115 – So Many Teeth (feat. Max Carleton)
Jun 27, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jay and Max brave the X-Men anime; the problem isn’t in Wolverine’s pants; Xavier is for once less villainous than he seems; Emma Frost gets ruffly; Cyclops wasn’t even supposed to be here today; and we both really want to hang out with Scott Porter.
X-PLAINED:
Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd
Waiting for the Trade
The X-Men Anime
Marvel Anime
Scott Porter
Jay’s ongoing attempts to assemble a coherent X-Men/Speed Racer conspiracy theory
Floating Hands Theater Wolverine
An unlikely T.A.
Several recurring flashbacks
The U-Men
The other U-Men
Armor (Hisako Ichiki)
Emma Frost, but ruffly
Evil Moira MacTaggert (Yui Sasaki)
The Sasaki Institute
The other Inner Circle
Marsh
Rat
Neuron
Takeo Sasaki
Potluck night at the Hellfire Club
Living vs. dead Jean Grey
NEXT EPISODE: Jubilee!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Havok and Wolverine head to Mexico; Havok tries his hand at noir; Wolverine gets serious about hair gel; Meltdown is probably not actually a common Russian surname; Susan X-Plains nuclear reactors; and we are pretty thoroughly besotted with Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown.
X-PLAINED:
Age of Apocalypse Corsair
Epic Comics
Marvel Comics Presents #24-31
Leila O’Toole (Plasma)
The Cold War
Samantha Smith
Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4
General Meltdown
Dr. Neutron
The varying deadliness of vices
Scarlett McKenzie (Quark)
Some exceptionally gorgeous artwork
Why we love Havok
Chernobyl
How nuclear reactors do and don’t work
Other characters we’d like to see in Meltdown-type stories
Adamantium vs. vibranium
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime
Special thanks to guest reactor X-Pert Susan Beaver!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
CONTENT NOTE: Episode 113 contains fairly extensive discussions of fictional violence, including gun violence. If you don’t want to listen to that right now, that is absolutely okay. If you want to listen to it later, it’ll still be here. And if you never want to listen to it, that is absolutely okay, too.
We were on the fence about whether to post this episode today. We ultimately decided to go ahead, for two reasons:
There’s value in routine in the face of tragedy.
There are times when continuing to exist visibly and publicly is itself an act of defiance.
Love and solidarity to everyone who’s grieving right now, and especially to our Florida friends and family, and to fellow members of the queer community.
-Jay & Miles
EPISODE 113: PLAY IT AGAIN, PATCH
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Wolverine gets an ongoing series; the constitution of Madripoor is probably just a list of pulp noir genre conventions; Tyger Tiger is a kinder, gentler crimelord; Jessica Drew gets possessed a lot; the Silver Samurai and Lindsay McCabe are our dream team; Joe Fixit is a font of endless delight; and someone should probably sit Wolverine down and explain how disguises work.
X-PLAINED:
The Murasama
The other Murasama
Life after Inferno
Madripoor
Wolverine #1-10
The Princess Bar
O’Donnell
The hierarchy of Casablanca references
Roche
Razorfist
The Inquisitor
Sapphire Styx
Tyger Tiger
What makes a good solo series
Lindsay McCabe
Wolverine’s signature drink
Possession pants
Silver Samurai (again)
Patch
Bloodsport & Roughouse
Archie Corrigan and his plane
Landau, Luckman, & Lake
Chief Tai
General Nguyen Ngoc Coy
Prince Baran and His Remarkable Pants
Joe Fixit
The worst possible way to celebrate someone’s birthday
NEXT EPISODE: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
112 – Embers of Inferno (feat. Sam Humphries)
Jun 06, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we cover (almost) all of the Inferno tie-ins with the help of writer Sam Humphries; the Marvel Universe used to be really X-Centric; Jarvis is unstoppable; Daredevil fights a vacuum cleaner; it’s probably best not to ask about the whole Celestial Madonna thing; Power Pack gets incredibly upsetting; working in comics makes you appreciate crossovers on a whole new level; and we’d all really have liked to have seen Guy Davis’s Inferno.
X-PLAINED:
Peter Quill’s brief music career
Widget
The Amazing Spider-Man #311-313
Spectacular Spider-Man #146-148
Web of Spider-Man #47-48
Avengers #298-300
Power Pack #42-44
Daredevil #262, 263, 265
Cloak and Dagger (vol. 3) #4
Fantastic Four #322-324
Inferno, as a whole
The fate of Madelyne Pryor
Jay’s Madelyne Pryor song
How working in comics taught us to appreciate crossovers
Our ideal Inferno artists
NEXT EPISODE: So. Much. Wolverine.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
X-TRA – Jay and Miles Overthink X-Men: Apocalypse
Jun 01, 2016
In which we release a mid-week bonus episode and generally spoil the hell out of X-Men: Apocalypse!
This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
111 – You’ll Have to Look Inside for That
May 30, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Wolverine gets a wolverine; the Crazy Gang meets their match; Inferno is business as usual for Excalibur; Alan Davis covers are the best covers; David Wynne makes his on-air debut; Courtney Ross is more competent than you; Murderworld operates on a dubious economic model; Nightcrawler is the anti-Nice Guy™, and everything basically works out for the best.
X-PLAINED:
Wolverine’s wolverine
A subtle but critical spelling difference
Excalibur #4-7
The greatest comic-book cover of all time
Dialogue on covers
Courtney Ross
Edwardian power suits
Arcade (again)
The dubious economics of Murderworld
The Looney Toones school of sexploitation
Search terms
Fashion in Excalibur
A mundane but useful superpower
The death of Courtney Ross
Perils of transatlantic flight
The Goblin Princess
A really excellent gargoyle
Several cinematic references
A very revealing outfit
Brigadier Alysande Stuart
Sinister fashion
Still more Limbo disambiguation
NEXT WEEK: Infero Post-Game, with Sam Humphries
Special thanks to David Wynne.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!
X-PLAINED:
How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which you should not presume to judge Madelyne Pryor by your standards; we wrap up the core plot of Inferno (but still somehow have two episodes left to go); sympathetic is not the same thing as right; Storm and Jean use friendship and it’s super effective; Iceman is basically incorruptible; Angel gets a new codename; Cyclops gets a backstory; Sinister is aptly named; and Inferno makes retcons into retconade.
X-PLAINED:
Limbo vs. Limbo
Hel vs. Hell
Uncanny X-Men #242-243
X-Factor #38-39
A moment that does not speak eloquently for itself
Several extended misunderstandings
The difference between sympathetic and right
N’astirh’s sweet ride
A false binary
The Goblin Prince
Yet another reason Havok should have finished his dissertation
The power of friendship
The Rube Goldberg approach to combat
Superconductivity, kind of
Our least favorite retcon in Inferno
The Summers brothers summed up in a single scene
Clone ethics
Why we like it when characters screw up
Our favorite retcons
How to prep for X-Men: Apocalypse
NEXT WEEK: Apocalypse for Beginners
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we recap nearly 200 issues in under three minutes; Madelyne Pryor is the Medea of X-Men; Mister Sinister takes the stage; Dazzler is basically an ’80s movie refugee; Scrambler may or may not be an exchange student from the Riverdale Marauders; Marc Silvestri is excellent at some things and less so at others; nothing good happens in Nebraska; Trish Tilby is the April O’Neil of X-Factor; and we swear that it was a total coincidence that this episode went up on Mother’s Day.
X-PLAINED:
One solution to the existential conundrum of the Carol Danvers who is also kind of part of Rogue
Pretty much everything that’s happened since the Dark Phoenix Saga
The structure of Inferno
Uncanny X-Men #239-241
X-Factor #36-37
The rise of the Goblin Queen
Several deaths in elevators
Mister Sinister and his amazing action-figure collection
The evolution of Mark Silvestri
Madelyne and Alex
A very symbolic dress
The Rainbow Room
M-Squad
That damn costume
1989 in outfit form
Jay’s favorite Marauder
Rats-R-Us
Wolverine vs. a mail box
The X-Men, but evil
The secret origin of Madelyne Pryor
A long-anticipated reunion
Objects we’d demonically animate
Which X-Man should do your taxes
NEXT WEEK: The Passion of Madelyne Pryor
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which everyone’s got Inferno issues; Brett Blevins makes it work; Belasco is conspicuously absent from Inferno; you should never go into Hell barefoot; the greatest X-Men stories are about loss; and Illyana Rasputin finally gets a fairy tale ending.
X-PLAINED
Tempus (Eva Bell)
Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4 (briefly)
The two major Inferno plotlines
New Mutants #71-73
The best of Brett Blevins
The rise and fall of Magik
The ethics of time-travel interventions
A weaponized retcon
N’astirh Guy™
A chair that is also a moral event horizon
A significant soul-armor upgrade
Several variations on a chapter title
Possessed New York
An overly complex conspiracy theory
A bittersweet reunion
The Kobayashi Maru scenario as applied to X-Men
An even more bittersweet victory (of sorts)
The eventual return of Magik (sort of)
Why it’s really irresponsible to affiliate your school with a superhero team
Our favorite versions of Wolfsbane’s transitional form
NEXT WEEK:
The Rise of the Goblin Queen!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Nextwave is both canon and not-canon; Inferno officially begins; X-Terminators is basically a cartoon; Bill Gaines cannot catch a break; Artie and Leach are superbabies; Takeshi Matsuya is fantastic; you should probably never take our advice about anything; Boom Boom is pretty good at superhero costume design; Walter Peck was right; Miles still won’t stop saying that one line about stealing a baby; N’astirh is no pigeon; and “No Mutant Is an Island” is a patently inaccurate statement.
X-PLAINED:
The Beyond Corporation
The Defilers
X-Terminators #1-4
The first 35 issues of X-Factor, briefly
Two teams with the same name
Fredric Wertham
Bill Gaines
Crotus
Babies
A boarding school that may or may not be Phillips Exeter Academy
Muffy
Saint Simon’s Academy
Wiz Kid (Takeshi Matsuya)
Nuprin
Medical advice from goblins
The Goblin Buster
Metareferential snack food
RadSport Sport Fashion Outfitters
An exceptionally specific Ghostbusters reference
Helen and Tim
Dubious spell semantics
How not to incorporate a crossover into a miniseries, and vice versa
“No Mutant Is an Island”
A brief history of Magneto’s helmet
Definitive Magnetos
NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.
Special thanks to multiversal metacontinuity wizard Al Ewing for the last-minute assist on the cold open!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
105 – Live from ECCC with Kris Anka, Al Ewing, Scott Koblish, and G. Willow Wilson
Apr 17, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which continuity has its eyes on you; the multiverse is so complex that we have to drag Al Ewing out of the audience to X-plain it; the X-Men mean a lot of different (but mostly compatible) things to all of us; we will accept any retcons necessary to maintain Magneto’s history as a Holocaust survivor; and ECCC rocks our world.
X-PLAINED:
Secret Wars
Alternate universes vs. alternate timelines
Multiversal problem-solving
New Arcadia
Definitive alternate-timeline X-Men
The weird joy of reading comics out of order
That one alternate timeline where Storm has a leather jacket and is hooking up with Wolverine
The only happy Cyclops in the multiverse
What makes the X-Men the X-Men
Intersections we’d like to see explored in canon
The appeal of universe-hopping
Relative ratios of metaphors to punching
Proof of concept in comics publishing
Battleworld characters we’d like to import into the 616.1
Which X-Men should get solo series
NEXT WEEK: X-Terminators!
CORRECTION: During the panel, Jay claimed that Spider-Man had been married for their entire life. Jay was in fact five years old when Spider-Man got married. We regret the error, but maintain our stance that Spider-Man is totally married.
You can find links to all our ECCC coverage–as well as a live video of the Hamilton cold open, from the Phoenix Comics party–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
104 – The Noodle Incident (feat. Brett White and Dennis Hopeless)
Apr 11, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Brett White joins us for a look at the current state of the X-line; Dennis Hopeless helps shed some light on a persistent mystery; Brett has a lot of feelings about the Dark Riders; All-New Wolverine is our everything; All-New X-Men is the new New Mutants; X-Men ’92 is the prize at the bottom of the continuity cereal box; we speculate on potential fatalities in the upcoming Death of X; and everything is probably going to be more or less okay.
X-PLAINED:
Why everyone is mad at Cyclops
The Noodle Incident
How we variously define X-titles
The current state of the X-line
The 8-Month Gap
Secret Wars
Earth 616.1
Extraordinary X-Men (Current series)
Uncanny X-Men (Current series)
All-New Wolverine
Old Man Logan (Current series)
All-New X-Men (Current series)
X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever
X-Men ’92 (Current series)
The Dark Riders
Being personally invested in characters you don’t own
Favorite formats
The mystic end of the X-Men cinematic universe
Mysteries and mysteries
NEXT WEEK: Continuity Has Its Eyes on You: Live from ECCC with Kris Anka, Al Ewing, Scott Koblish, and G. Willow Wilson!
EDITED: NOODLE INCIDENT SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW CLOSED. We’ll be announcing the winners sometime between 4/18 and 4/22. Thank you to everyone who participated!!!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Excalibur is x-tra x-ceptional; we once again gush at length about Alan Davis; Kurt Wagner is reliable with the ladies; nothing in Excalibur is ever perfectly normal; Warwolves are regular folks; Brian Braddock still doesn’t get to take a bath; Jay overthinks a question; and there’s more where that came from!
X-PLAINED:
The Unstoppable Juggernaut
Earth-10724
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comicon
Excalibur #1-3
Fun
The Crazy Gang (again)
The somewhat ignominious death of Ray Mulholland
Warwolves
Nigel Frobisher
A somewhat dubious ploy
Bathroom etiquette
Widget
A kid named Colin
Rupert Holloway
Friendship, kind of
The Lighthouse
Courtney Ross
Excalibur vs. the Juggernaut
Kitty’s powers
An exceptionally specific theoretical crossover
NEXT WEEK: Checking in on the current state of the X-line, with guest Brett White!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Beast’s DNA is basically held together with spit and baling wire; Boom Boom wins MVP; Angel goes full goth; Cameron Hodge loses his head; Cyclops is basically a Silent Hill protagonist; and the Nebraska Department of Social Services is probably not adequately equipped to deal with Mister Sinister.
X-PLAINED:
The Horsemen of Death
X-Factor #32-35
Xartans
Superheroic triage
A vague prophecy
Fake Avengers
Fake-band disambiguation
KiLLeR DWaRfS
Crippled Puppies
Audiophile Apocalypse
Shopping
Dubiously zealous trademark protection
Acronym disambiguation
The death of Candy Southern
The not-exactly death of Cameron Hodge
Nanny
Orphan-Maker
Baby Race 2000
An orphanage that is also a metaphor
Unreliable narration
The dubious partnership of Mister Sinister and Apocalypse
Best iterations of Boom Boom
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes ongoing!
InfernoWatch
Malicious inanimate objects
Early signs of Marvel Girl’s returning telepathy
First clues of Cyclops’s connection to Sinister
First mention of Goblin Queen by name
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which it’s pretty much always terrible to be Magik; Y is a sometimes vowel; Wolfsbane is a secret Disney Princess; feelings ruin everything; and Gossamyr may or may not be an allegory (but is pretty interesting either way).
X-PLAINED:
What Lila Cheney is up to these days
New Mutants #67-70
Gratuitous space spelling
Gossamyr
Spyder
The Accountants
Magneto’s ongoing slide into supervillainy
A few fairly specific elements of teen-girl social dynamics
Wolfsbane’s greatest desire
Practical logistics of teleporting aliens into a sun
Approaching the X-books as a new writer
Who we’d put on an all-X-Men trivia team
NEXT EPISODE: BabyRace 2000; and Archangel vs. Cameron Hodge
Special thanks to Kieron Gillen for the X-pert consult; and to Arvin Bautista for the use of “I Will Steal Your Heart.”
InfernoWatch:
Illyana’s descent continues
S’ym gains near-complete control of Limbo
First instances of possessed machinery and architecture
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
100 – Unexpected Wonder, with Chris Claremont
Mar 13, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Miles follows his heart; subtext becomes text; and we celebrate a very special milestone with a very special guest.
NEXT EPISODE: Gossamyr
For a comprehensive visual companion to this episode, we recommend reading Uncanny X-Men #94-279, 381-389, and 444-473; X-Men vol. 1 #59; X-Men vol. 2 #1-3, 100-109, and 165; New Mutants #1-54, 63, and 81; Excalibur vol. 1 #1-19, 21-25, 27, and 32-34; X-Treme X-Men #1-46; X-Men Forever #1-25; and dozens of additional annuals, miniseries, ongoings, one-shots, graphic novels, and more.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha
Mar 07, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the podcast gets a new name; Jay starts (another) imaginary band; mutant issues break away from the metaphor; Genosha’s leading industry is cognitive dissonance; invisibility to electronic surveillance is not always a plus; Rogue and Wolverine are the X-Men most likely to find themselves nude in a fight; Carol Danvers is awesome even when disembodied; and we both have a lot of feelings about Mad Max: Fury Road.
X-PLAINED:
The Havok dilemma
Our new name
Uncanny X-Men #235-238
Genosha
Jenny Ransome
The Press Gang
A really good bit of vintage slang
The downside of electronic invisibility
Naked teleportation
The Genegineer (David Moreau)
Philip Moreau
Mutates
The (sort of) return of (sort of) Carol Danvers
The portmanteaus of Genosha
Moral binary in superhero comics
Possible antecedents of Sterling Archer
The only good reason to bring Logan back
N’astirh
Several versions of Madelyne Pryor
“Gone to America”
Off-page baby theft
How to have fun re-reading
InfernoWatch:
This week, it’s all about Madelyne Pryor: her first contact with N’astirh and escalating romance with Havok; the first hints of her connection to Mister Sinister; her oblique connection to the Phoenix Force; and her first foray into baby theft!
NEXT EPISODE: Chris Claremont
CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles mentioned Those Who Walk Away From Omelas as having been written by Margaret Atwood. It was, of course, actually written by Ursula K. LeGuin. Miles blames the Jaspers Warp for this mistake.
You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks
Feb 29, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!
X-PLAINED:
A large number of acronyms
Irony
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
Captain Britain #1-14
The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
Inspector Dai Thomas
How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
Slaymaster
Captain Britain’s costume
Sidney Crumb
Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
Earth-794
Kaptain Briton
Sat-Yr-Nin
The R.C.X.
Agents Gabriel & Michael
The Warpies
The Cherubim
Meggan (more) (again)
Doctor Crocodile
Jamie Braddock
Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
Women in Refrigerators
Our thoughts on the X-movies
Mutant heredity
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we venture out of our wheelhouse; Contest of Champions is ridiculous in any medium; Captain Britain would like you to unhand that elf; the Fury is legitimately terrifying; the Special Executive is the best at heists; Brian Braddock knows exactly what he’s getting into; Merlyn is the multiversal Charles Xavier; and this is really just the tip of the iceberg.
X-PLAINED:
Various Contests of Champions
ISO-8
Marvel UK
Marvel Superheroes 377-388
Daredevils 1-11
Mighty World of Marvel 7-13
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Jackdaw
Earth-238
Mad Jim Jaspers
The Crazy Gang
Algernon the Rat
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne
Life-Enhancing Fluid
The Fury
Alan Moore juvenilia
The (first) death and rebirth of Captain Britain
How to make a retcon work
Mastermind (but not that Mastermind)
Emma Collins
Pre-Psylocke Betsy Braddock
S.T.R.I.K.E.
Vixen
Slaymaster
The Trial of Saturnyne
The Special Executive
Mandragon
The Captain Britain Corps
Captain U.K. (Linda McQuillan)
Marvelman vs. Miracleman
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder
NEXT EPISODE: But wait! There’s more!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.
X-PLAINED:
Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
Evolutionary War
The actual history of eugenics in America
X-Factor Annual #3
New Mutants Annual #4
Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
Classic X-Men #22
Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
Stack
Purge
How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
A Silver-Age callback
An Apocalypse-style intervention
Toga Steve (Val-Or)
The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
Mirage’s power upgrade
Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
The coolest civilization ever
Colossus’s illegitimate kid
The cutest sound effect
Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.
X-PLAINED:
The Providian Order
Uncanny X-Men #232-234
The Brood (again)
Several ill-fated campers
Harry Palmer
The Brood as horror antagonists
Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
Psylocke’s armor
Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
Some deeply dubious codenames
Red Bee
Michael the Bee
Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
The Mile High Diner
The strange case of Hannah Conover
One hell of a nightmare
A deal with a devil
InfernoWatch
The direct market
Ways to approach an endless serial
INFERNO WATCH:
Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume
NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.
You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
94 – WELCOME TO DIE! (feat. Elisabeth Allie)
Feb 01, 2016
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain Pryde of the X-Men; Magneto is somehow even worse at branding than Mystique; the X-Universe is in desperate need of responsible adults; Wolverine hates kids; everybody’s mean to Lockheed; and the Sentinels represent your feelings.
X-PLAINED:
Wolverine’s Australian accent
Pryde of the X-Men
X-Men / Muppet Babies analogues
The Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists
How not to comfort scared teenagers
The X-Cessible X-Men
The Mutant Power Circuit
Terrible parenting
A MacGuffin
A Really Dubious Evil Plot
Several Additional MacGuffins
THE POWER!
One of many reasons to be nice to animals
Space
The X-Men Arcade Game
Ground Kontrol
X-Men: Madness in Murderworld
The Uncanny X-Men (game)
Metaphorical sentinels
Mysterious lizards
Video game mechanics vs. superhero ethics
Pryde of the X-Men vs the ’90s animated series vs. X-Men: Evolution
Alternate animated series hooks
NEXT WEEK: The Brood go to a revival meeting
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.
X-PLAINED:
Forge’s moral compass
New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
Magical postal eagles
Nova Roma
Jag-u-ars
Art as era signifier
Time travel nightmare logic
Sharpiemancy
The “last” Brood
Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
A long-awaited roomie reunion
Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
Astrally furry pants
Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
The Ultimate Darkchilde
Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
Partying with the New Mutants
NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which X-Factor loves press conferences, Archangel provides many opportunities for terrible puns, Cyclops gets to be happy for a whole five pages, X-Factor learns how doors work, the X-kids are generous (except Boom Boom), Infectia makes monsters to fight the patriarchy, Ship is your cool aunt, and Destiny accidentally predicts Cable.
X-PLAINED:
Apocalypse versus Ed Wood
X-Factor #27-31
Superhero mortality
Star-crossed mugger romance
Marvel Girl as, and not as, Team Mom
The greatest line in all of X-Factor
Ship’s anatomical resemblances
Combat and relationship discussion multitasking
X-Men Evolution Syndrome
Iceman as joker-by-necessity
Infectia and the Anti-Bodies
Rambo Nukes Commando In Nicaragua
Wacky sitcom humor
Warren Worthington, PI
Earth 13122 and LEGO optic blasts
Musical careers of the X-Men
NEXT WEEK: Magik versus Forge.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.
X-PLAINED:
The saddest issue ever
New Mutants #64
The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
The Last of Us
Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
Some varyingly impressive costumes
General irresponsibility
Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
Douglock
The New Mutants’ D&D alignments
NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the X-Men move to Australia; O.Z. Chase is definitely not a werewolf; Dazzler is a smart, glittery laser cookie; Gateway falls into some uncomfortable tropes; Havok remains the king of terrible hats; Madelyne Pryor hacks the planet; Rogue makes a friend; Rick Leonardi draws the definitive Magik; Colossus’ secondary mutation is allegory; and there are a lot of great places to donate your old backissues.
X-PLAINED:
Gateway’s probable origin
Wintry mix
Miles’s definitive X-era
Uncanny X-Men #228-231
O.Z. Chase
Vladimir Zaitzev
The Reavers (No, not those Reavers)
Bonebreaker
Skullcrusher
Pretty Boy
Children
Jessan Hoan (Tyger Tiger)
Gateway
Teamwork (more) (again)
The Siege Perilous
Cooterman’s Creek
Jay’s favorite mythic figure (and long-term career goal)
The best brother in the Marvel Universe
A really sad team-up
Favorite X-science moments
Where to donate comic books
NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
89 – Giant-Size Special #3 (feat. Kyle Yount, Logan Bonner, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims)
Dec 28, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
Christmas at the X-Mansion
The best hair in the Marvel Universe
The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
Mojoverse anxiety dreams
Warwolves
Meggan
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Sexiest Nightcrawler
Technet (and several of its members)
Gatecrasher
Yap
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
The Special Executive
Mutant intersectionality
Why we chose the X-Men
Favorite X-Spinoffs
Our podcast-guest wish list
The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
Our ideal X-lineups
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
Marvel Holiday Special 1991
Santa Claus
The true meaning of Christmas
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
88 – …Just Before Dawn (Fall of the Mutants, Part 3 of 3)
Dec 21, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which X-Factor finally comes out ahead; Jay and Miles weigh in on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer; En Sabah Nur is better at theater than tactics; no one does scale like Simonson; Iceman pulls an Xavier; Cyclops and Marvel Girl totally do it; and we conclude our three-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants.
X-PLAINED:
A potential (but unlikely) vector for resurrecting Cyclops-616
Events vs. crossovers
Our thoughts on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer
X-Factor #24-26
Power Pack #35
Incredible Hulk #340
Captain America #339
Fantastic Four #312
Daredevil #252
Newsletters of Apocalypse
Some deeply dubious immunology
The fall of Caliban
Sense of scale
The kiss we’ve been waiting for
Teen Titans Wasteland
A recognizable ruse
A thematically significant crash landing
Some long-awaited resolution
How to judge an original-5 book
Sweatsuits of Apocalypse
The iconic X-Factor costumes
Fall of the Mutants tie-ins
Emus
The best-dressed X-Men
NEXT WEEK: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #2!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
87 – It’s Always Darkest… (Fall of the Mutants, Part 2 of 3)
Dec 14, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the New Mutants learn that they are not, in fact, immortal; Louise Simonson finds her stride; the Ani-Mator makes Cameron Hodge look downright reasonable; hating humans is Magneto’s security blanket; Doug Ramsey dies; and we continue our coverage of the Fall of the Mutants.
X-PLAINED:
Sugar Man
New Mutants #59-61
Bird Brain
The Ani-Mator
The Ani-Mates
Stylistic whiplash
Why you always leave a note
The death of Doug Ramsey
Black Condor’s amazing origin story
Interpersonal dynamics in New Mutants
Parsing ongoing series
Why Doug died
616 characters we’d trade for their Battleworld counterparts
Storytelling trends and the decline of though balloons
NEXT WEEK: …Just Before Dawn
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
86 – Legends (Fall of the Mutants, Part 1 of 3)
Dec 06, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we begin our 3-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants; Roma is very good at her job; strange things are afoot in Dallas; Mystique’s parenting skills are somewhat lopsided; Neal Conan is awesome; Havok gets a soapbox; Storm and Forge flirt with godhood; Rogue’s costume exists in a state of quantum uncertainty; Colossus is the organic steel wrench in the gears of chaos; and the X-Men die for real (but get better).
X-PLAINED:
Crossovers vs. events
The Fall of the Mutants
Uncanny X-Men #225-227
A really great marketing campaign
The Adversary (again)
Roma
The Starlight Citadel
Retcons as applied pareidolia
A metaphor that is also a real chess piece
A sort-of stabbing
Neal Conan & Manoli Wetherell
Literally hard-hitting journalism
A whole new world
Another variation on the Rogue’s-costume drinking game
A really improbable plan
The death and resurrection of the X-Men
Mutant metabolisms
NEXT WEEK: It’s Always Darkest…
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
85 – Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts, Part 9: Complex Continuity, with Paul O’Brien and Kieran Shiach
Nov 29, 2015
Art by James Stokoe
In which Miles finally makes it to Battlepod; we delve into our favorite continuity snarls for the benefit of the Beyonder; Kang is everyone; we’re really grateful that the D.C. Multiverse is out of our usual scope; someone gets a new costume; and the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts reaches its shocking conclusion!
Featuring Paul O’Brien of House to Astonish and Kieran Shiach of Journey Into Misery; with Greg Rucka as the voice of the Beyonder!
X-PLAINED:
Kang
The Third Summers Brother
The D.C. Multiverse
Cable
This is the final episode of the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts, a nine-part crossover event featuring the bravest and boldest of comics podcasts. You can find a list of the previous #SCOIP episodes–and where to jump into participating podcasts–on our blog!
ART CHALLENGE: Miles apparently came home from Secret Convergence with a snazzy new costume that may or may not be a hostile alien symbiote! What does it look like?
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
84 – The Fourth Horseman
Nov 23, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Franklin Richards is the center of a disproportionate number of X-Men specials; Quicksilver without powers is comedy gold; Luna is the best little girl on the moon (but it’s kind of a low bar); Jay accidentally cares about the Inhumans; Jean Grey may or may not be the Wesley Willis of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge’s exit interview is weirdly professional; Boom Boom is the best reluctant hero; and Archangel makes his debut.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
Nov 16, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we travel back in time to 1979 for our second live convention special; X-Men Annual #3 desperately needs a Queen soundtrack; George Perez draws great Banshee; Polemachus is kind of a bullshit planet; we dream of a world without Funky Winkerbean; Cyclops’s costume does not mix and match well; if you can be someone else, you should probably be Brian Blessed; Colossus gets a dragon; and Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival is awesome.
X-PLAINED:
X-misadventures in Las Vegas
X-Men Annual #3
Arkon the Magnificent
Isadore and Irmagarde Uhman
The Comical Books
Polemachus the planet vs. Polemachus the person
Funky Winkerbean
Several logistical problems with the Danger Room
MVP Cyclops
Some very good visual counterpoint to dialogue
Paperboard lightning bolt disambiguation
Jay’s favorite Starman story
X-title and music pairings
Imperions
Visual perspective in grand melees
How to order a meal on Polemachus
One specific variation on Cyclops’s powers
The X-Men as Spinal Tap
Space-barbarian eyewear
The annual cabinet
The most appropriate X-team placement for Funky Winkerbean
Best worst characters
Our favorite X-Force teams
Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts
NEXT WEEK: Somehow, Cameron Hodge manages to get even worse.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Louise Simonson’s New Mutants run gets off to a rough start; drugs are not a reliable way to impress your space girlfriend; Magma gets a character arc; Tarot’s powers are kind of iffy; it’ll take more than a few illegal fish to stop Magik; and Bird Brain thoroughly fails to live up to his potential.
X-PLAINED:
Sunspot’s brushes with villainy
The de-aging of the New Mutants
New Mutants #55-58
A memorable dress
Raek
A cautionary tale
The New Mutants as a Saturday morning cartoon
Bird Boy / Bird Brain
June Brigman
A romantic dilemma
Several alternative foci for Tarot’s powers
Redemption and humanization of villains in X-books
Undignified birds
The best and worst of Bret Blevins
Non-comics writers we’d like to see write X-books
Other teen time travelers we’d add to All-New X-Men
NEXT WEEK: Live in Las Vegas!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’ll have prints of this week’s illustration up at our shop later this week. As always, you can contact David Wynne to inquire after the original!
81 – The Kids Are All Right, with Dennis Hopeless
Nov 02, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/8/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we sit down with one of our favorite writers to talk about his upcoming series; the X-teens take to the road; Season One is kind of Friday Night Lights; good relationships make good stories; and we are really excited for All-New X-Men.
X-PLAINED:
Genesis (Evan Sabahnur)
Dennis Hopeless
Secret origins of X-Men: Season One
All-New X-Men, vol. 2
How to write Jean Grey
Building a team
Why Quentin Quire isn’t in All-New X-Men
All-New in the larger X-line, and the X-line in the larger Marvel Universe
Definitive X-eras
Cable & X-Force
What makes Cable tick
Boom Boom
Colossus and Domino
The narrative case for solid relationships
Favorite villains
Mark Bagley
Character evolution across multiple creative teams
X-teen hobbies
Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants meet Bird Boy, with mixed results.
There’s no visual companion this week, but you can find a list of links mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything
Oct 26, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we go back in time to take a look at two annuals; everyone is really excited about Excalibur; Claremont ups his illusion game; Horde should probably not be allowed to dress himself; Rachel fires the X-Men; Havok needs better role models; Psylocke’s secondary mutation is femme power; Kyle X-Plains giant monsters; we check in with Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic-Book Festival on November 7!
X-PLAINED:
Dazzler’s powers
Uncanny X-Men Annual #11
Uncanny X-Men Annual #7
New Mutants Annual #3
The Hostage, by Brendan Behan
Wolverine vs. Historical Fiction
Horde and his amazing outfit
The Citadel of light and shadow
The fantasy lives of X-Men
Things to do with a shed human skin
The secret origin of Wolverine’s overactive healing factor
The Impossible Man (and how to defeat him)
The Shogun Warriors
What happened to Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau
Powers we don’t like
Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
NEXT EPISODE: All-New X-Men with Dennis Hopeless!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In no one trusts Magneto; Dr. Druid is the comfiest superhero; She-Hulk wants to punch a meteor; Rachel and Miles are really bad at both nature and maritime law; boat fights are the best fights; everyone makes terrible choices; and James Jaspers should really have been disbarred by now.
X-PLAINED:
Darkstar vs. Dark Star
X-Men vs. Avengers #1-4
Magneto’s narrative milestones
Dr. Anthony Druid
A most peculiar meteor
The Soviet Super Soldiers
Vanguard
Darkstar
The Titanium Man / Gremlin
Ursa Major
Floridian vs. Australian fauna
Crimson Dynamo
Dock parties with the X-Men
Secrets of Asteroid M
Cartoonish pursuit
The drinking rules of costume semi-destruction
The Laws of the Sea
Why you should put your multi-team brawls on a boat
An abrupt creative shift
The Light
Several miracles of magnetism
An ethical dilemma
The (other) trial of Magneto
Magneto heel turns
Picking which tie-ins to read
The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts
NEXT EPISODE: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
78 – The Eye Killers and Other Cautionary Tales
Oct 12, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/18/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we persevere in the face of adversity; Storm goes on a quest; Mr. Sinister makes his first appearance; Dazzler learns about teamwork (again); it still sucks to be Havok (but not as much as it sucks to be Madelyne Pryor); you should probably put down that cactus; the Murder Grampas join Freedom Force; Storm’s life is a metal-album cover; and the X-Men are doomed as hell.
X-Plained:
The Mr. Sinister / Summers family time loop
Uncanny X-Men #220-224
Actual and potential origins of Mr. Sinister’s name
How Longshot’s powers work in combat
Teamwork (again)
Representing sound and silence in a visual medium
A protracted fight
Forge (again)
Naze (kind of)
The Adversary
Eye Killers
One of many reasons not to masturbate with a cactus
The X-Men in San Francisco
Madelyne Pryor vs. fate
Storm vs. Forge
Character names vs. code names
X-Makeovers
NEXT WEEK: X-Men vs. Avengers
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/11/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we relax our definition of X-book; we really want Sunspot to grow a mustache; Miles gets an excuse to say “shillelagh”; Bill the Lobster goes on a rampage; and Fallen Angels is really, really, really wonderful.
X-Plained:
Devil Dinosaur
Moon Boy
Fallen Angels #1-8
Jo Duffy
Assembling a team
Sunspot as a point-of-view character
Compassion as a superpower
Da Costa’s Devils vs. Ma Guthrie’s Gorillas
Goat Simulator
An unfortunate incident
Somewhat harsh student evaluations
The moral compass of Magnum, P.I.
Warlock and Sunspot as mutual foils
Chance
Ariel
Multiple Man (Jamie Madrox) and several notable duplicates
Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
Gomi
Bill
Don
The Fallen Angels
The Vanisher
The Marvel Girl Fan Club
Lobster feelings
Kirby monsters
Doris Danger
Dinosaur World
Fallen Angels as a spiritual antecedent to Runaways
The tragic death of Don the Lobster
Fallen Angels II
How to party like Dr. Doom
Doom Patrol vs. X-Men
NEXT WEEK: A Sinister debut.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! (Thanks for your patience!)
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
76 – Live at Rose City Comic Con, with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Chris Yost
Sep 28, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/4/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which we record our first live episode; Rose City Comic Con is AMAZING; Ann tells us how to torture the X-Men; Jean Grey needs more friends; Chris survives an encounter with an angry vampire; Squirrel Girl sets the high bar for questions; everyone has opinions about Longshot’s hair; Jeff gets meta; Cyclops is the best at fighting Sentinels; and Rachel ALMOST gets through an entire panel without swearing.
X-PLAINED:
Cable (Nathan Summers)
Stryfe (Also Nathan Summers)
Rose City Comic Con
Christopher Yost
Jeff Parker
Ann Nocenti
The X-Men
Superheroes vs. soap operas
Continuity vs. evolution
Updating the Silver Age
What defines an X-book
All of our iconic X-eras
Close encounters of the fan kind
The Continuiteens
Marvel Girl and Squirrel Girl team-ups
Narrative regrets
How we’d end the X-Men
X-Men best suited to professional wrestling
Our personal mutant metaphors
Which of the X-Men is best at fighting Sentinels
NEXT WEEK: Fallen Angels!
There’s no visual companion this week, but you can see photos from the panel, party, and more in our Rose City Comic Con roundup!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
75 – By Their Deeds You Shall Know Them
Sep 21, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Masque is the worst Morlock; makeouts are a good reason to learn to control your powers; Cyclops and Marvel Girl are terrible role models; Iceman is the heart of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge finally shows his hand; the kids are all right (and probably the only ones who are); and we’ve basically given up on X-Factor ever learning to use doors.
X-PLAINED:
The Right
The Ani-Mator
X-Factor #16-20
Training with X-Factor
Skids’ backstory
Motivational makeouts
Miles’s Thor-ner
Thor #377-378
Why you don’t make deals with frost giants
The mystical realm of Pittsburgh
Redundant funeral graffiti
A totally rad villain speech
The evolution of Iceman
Dubious flight safety precautions
Rictor (Julio Esteban Richter)
Some really epic gaslighting
A probably-inevitable confrontation
Supervillain team-building exercises
Park maintenance
NEXT WEEK: Rachel & Miles Live at Rose City Comic Con; with Ann Nocenti, Jeff Parker, and Christopher Yost!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Franklin Richards is definitely a normal human meat child; Thing’s code-name is delightfully ambiguous; your kids are probably robot sailors; it’s always a Doombot; Rachel accidentally identifies with Reed Richards; all dramatic roads lead to Latveria; and superheroes are terrible at conflict resolution.
X-PLAINED:
Franklin Richards
Rachel & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE
Fantastic Four Versus the X-Men #1-4
The best hugs in the biz
The Fantastic Four
Mr. Fantastic (Reed Richards)
Invisible Woman (Susan Richards)
Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
Thing (Ben Grimm)
The Fantasticast
Special dreams (but not that kind)
Alicia Masters (sort of)
Dubiously informative cover art
The doomed frenemyship of Reed Richards and Victor von Doom
Varyingly competent parenting
An awful lot of incidental nudity
Ethics of super-science
Robot sailors
Latveriandroids
Agency
Dubious conflict-resolution skills
Human Torch costume logistics
Dr. Doom’s history with Magneto
Relative roles and themes of Marvel teams
NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still hasn’t really gotten the hang of doors.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
73 – Evolving Evolution, with Robert N. Skir
Sep 07, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Rachel holds down the fort; Robert N. Skir X-Plains several cartoons; teenagers are basically mutants; Southern goths are the best goths; and you should really just watch X-Men: Evolution already.
X-PLAINED:
Bad parenting choices
Rachel & Miles @ Rose City Comic Con
Secret origins of Robert N. Skir
The development of X-Men: Evolution
The Unauthorized X-Men
Point-of-view points of entry
The Evolution series bible
Spyke (Evan Daniels)
Mutants in society
Rogue variations
Brushes with fandom
NEXT WEEK: Fantastic Four vs. X-Men
There’s no visual companion to this episode, but you can find links and further reading on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.
X-PLAINED:
Mutant X
The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
The Goblin Entity
Uncanny X-Men #217-219
The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
Standards for a good twist
Doonesbury
Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
A dubious literary allusion
Flying jeeps
CrimeBros
The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
Geordie and Rupert
Havok (more) (again)
Car-wreck sex
An unfortunate end to a camping trip
The Plot Bus
Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
Narrative-friendly power sets
Special thanks to:
The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!
NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.
X-PLAINED:
Leong and Nga Coy Manh
New Mutants #51-54
The Starjammers (again)
The paradox of Professor X
Several dramatic speeches
The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
Plan Omega (but not that one)
A fairly epic dress-code violation
Magik vs. Limbo
A very specific bit of fancasting
Best Magneto
What X-fans (may or may not) live for
A well-wrought nightmare
Hellion disambiguation
Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
New Mutants X Frank Zappa
Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
A heroic challenge
A counterintuitive heart’s desire
Claremont’s New Mutants run.
Libraries
Emma Frost’s accent
The sounds of blastin’
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
In which everything is terrible; miscommunication triangles are way more awkward than love triangles; Boom Boom is universally delightful; Miles has feelings about ‘80s fashion; Apocalypse is judging your band posters; X-Factor still hasn’t gotten the hang of doors; Cyclops’s life continues to be an anxiety dream; the Twelve are better in foreshadowing than practice; and Angel dies as he lived: half-naked, at an airport.
X-PLAINED
The evolution of Angel
Cold opens
rachelandmiles.com
X-Factor so far
X-Factor #12-15
A miscommunication triangle
Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith)
Rachel’s Marc Silvestri causality loop
Boom Boom vs. Jubilee
Cameron disambiguation
Famine
Master Mold (more) (again)
The Twelve
Tanya Trask
Caliban
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
69 – Weird Science, with Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan
Aug 10, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
In which Elle and Graeme save the day; Hank McCoy joins the real world (sort of) (briefly); Carl Maddicks may or may not be undead; academic discourse in the Marvel Universe leaves a few things to be desired; Steve Englehart is an unsung hero of X-Men; Mastermind lives up to his name; Warren Worthington has a good attitude about mutation; and Avengers Beast is the best Beast; and Graeme has strong feelings about Moira MacTaggert.
X-PLAINED:
The complex romantic life of Patsy Walker
The increasingly terrible life choices of Hank McCoy
Amazing Adventures #11-17
Incredible Hulk #161
Captain America #173-175
Avengers #137, 144, & 178
Marvel Team-Up #124
Life after the X-Men
The Brand Corporation
Carl Maddicks (again)
Vampire Secret Agent Linda Donaldson
The dubious chemical cause of mutation
Beast as proto-Wolverine
Steve Englehart
The high price of passing
Several unusually realistic latex masks
Norman Mailer’s Handbook for Unliberated Women
Sad clowns
Buzz Baxter
Hellcat (Patsy Walker)
Someone who might be Carole King, Indira Gandhi, or your sister (but isn’t)
Questionable corporate practices
Quasimodo (but not that one)
Semantics of fur color
The Griffin
The Secret Empire
Actual supervillain Richard Nixon
Mimic (Cal Rankin)
Avengers Auditions
Best Beast stories
Scotland
Special thanks to guest hosts Elle Collins & Graeme McMillan!
NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which we catch our breath after the Mutant Massacre; Miles’s taste is both epic and adorable; Dazzler’s Achilles heel is fame; Madelyne Pryor; it’s hard to be a teenage ghost; Crimson Commando is not actually Frank Borman (but we wish he were); Wolverine may or may not make truck noises; Heroes for Hope is profoundly baffling; and Sunspot would definitely be way into Leslie Knope.
X-PLAINED:
Several untimely deaths
Uncanny X-Men #214-216
Heroes for Hope
The post-Mutant Massacre X-Men
Malice
Another set of Phoenix callbacks
The Murder Grandpas
Crimson Commando
Super Sabre
Stonewall
Actual superhero Marsha P. Johnson
Priscilla the jerk
Wolverine SFX
Some fairly spectacular misunderstandings
One hell of a jam comic
X-costumes
A Thomas Magnum for 21st-century X-kids
NEXT WEEK: Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan X-Plain Beast’s solo adventures!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which the New Mutants get unstuck in time; Robert the Bruce is surprisingly shallow; Sentinels dabble in decoupage; Rachel pitches a comic; there’s no such thing as a happy Magneto flashback; you should probably respect teenagers more than you do; the seeds of Inferno are sewn; and Doug Ramsey hacks the planet.
NOTE: Rachel and Miles are moving this week. Expect everything to be late.
X-PLAINED:
Messing with the past
New Mutants character themes
You Can’t Do That on Television
New Mutants #47-50
Constructive stabbing
Sad Darin Morgan Magneto
Adventures in time and space
Tactical retreat
Several dark alternate futures
Earth-8720
Decoupage of Future Past
A singularly evocative Sentinel
Earth-87050
Magneto’s terrible, terrible life
The New Mutants vs. Magus
Peak Magma
Karma’s codename
Soul Sword continuity
NEXT WEEK: Hunting humans for sport!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.
NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!
X-PLAINED:
Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars
NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Louise Simonson saves X-Factor; Apocalypse gets off to a rough start; Cyclops is bad at people; Apocalypse should be the Kingpin of X-Men; Jean Grey is sick of your bullshit; you should totally cosplay Skids; and Mystique fundamentally misunderstands branding.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.
X-PLAINED:
Captain Britain Corps
Alan Davis
New Mutants Annual #2
X-Men Annual #10
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
Slaymaster
Mojo
Why cartoon logic is terrifying
Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
Wildways
Robot eyes
Template
Snitch
Straight Arrow
Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
The stated mission of the New Mutants
The proto-X-Babies
Longshot’s X-Men debut
The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
A really charged costume choice
Tonal shifts in New Mutants
X-Men vs. geese
NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!
ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduationcostume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!
62 – Giant-Size Special #2
Jun 22, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/28/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we welcome Logan Bonner, Mikey Neilson, and AdministratriX Tina to the gaming table for an original X-Men Animated Adventure; the real enemy is BS&P; Australia is kind of terrible; Rogue is concerned about kangaroos; Wolverine taps into the power of love; Storm makes a long-distance call; and Cyclops plans for failure (but not color-coded labels).
FEATURING:
Logan Bonner as Writer, Gamemaster, and Broadcast Standards & Practices
Tina Abate as Wolverine
Mikey Neilson as Storm
Rachel Edidin as Cyclops
Miles Stokes as Rogue
NEXT WEEK: Walking the Wildways!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/21/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which the band gets back together; Dani faces down Death; Sam takes Lila home to meet his mom; revenge is a dish best left unserved; there is nothing sadder than Warlock confused by the concept of death; Kitty Pryde has a some opinions about identity politics; and X-Men has not been great with textual representations of neurodiversity.
NOTE: Given some of the material covered in this episode, we wanted to link a few resources below, for anyone who might need them:
Advice for intervention if you suspect that someone you know may be suicidal: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-helping-someone-who-is-suicidal.htm
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Jun 08, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
X-PLAINED:
Freedom Force
Supervillains’ day jobs
Uncanny X-Men #206-209
The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
Terrible house guests
Lindsay McCabe
David Ishima
Bree Morrell
A metaphorical ghost story
Lycanthropy, but dumber
The crossing of several ethical lines
Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
Craft night at the Hellfire Club
Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
One way to write someone out of a book
Our favorite Summers kids
X-Music
Special thanks to Elle Collins
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
59 – X is for Xtinction, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers
Jun 01, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/7/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Chris and Chad teach us to stop worrying and love the ‘90s; the line between parody and homage is thin and flexible; everything happens at the mall; no one wants to play volleyball with Cyclops; and we totally fail to resolve the question, “Does a mall babe eat chili fries?”
WARNING: This episode contains minor spoilers for X-Men ’92 #1.
X-PLAINED:
The Westchester Wars
Battleworld
X-Men ’92 #1
Digital vs. print pacing
A continuity error
Narrative restrictions of Battleworld
The actual X-Men of 1992 (and the post-Claremont X-Universe)
X-Men Adventures
X-Men Collector’s Edition
Mutatant Genesis
X-Cutioner’s Song
Early Deadpool
Piecing together the Marvel Universe from trading cards
The X-Men animated series
Concurrent and complimentary adaptation
Cassandra Nova ‘92
The fine line between homage and parody
Definitive story arcs of the 1990s
NEXT WEEK: Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.
X-PLAINED:
Vanisher
Nightcrawler #1-4
Bizarre Adventures #27
Iceman #1-4
The Well at the Center of Time
The downside to hanging out with pirates
A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
Better living through sound-effect awareness
Boggies
The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
Earth-5311
Bamfs
The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
Cretaceous Sam
Sehv
Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
The Drake family
An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
Marge Smith / Mirage
White Light
Idiot
Kali (but not that one)
Two generations of Officers Ratchit
Pornography no one wants to see
Death by time travel
Oblivion
Night Man (kinda)
Our ideal cross-media adaptations
NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
In which Miles tries to find things to like about Bob Layton’s X-Factor run; Cyclops’s life is literally an anxiety dream; X-Factor is very Leverage; Layton’s Angel is just godawful; Rachel is all about the Red Scare; Frenzy is awesome; and we bid a fond farewell to producer Bobby Roberts.
X-PLAINED:
An Apocalypse that might have been
Mid-80s X-title thematic disambiguation
The limited value of nostalgia
Creative history of X-Factor
X-Factor #2-5 and Annual #1
The baffling reinvention of Vera Cantor
Tower (Edward Pasternak)
Dubious didactic strategies
Carl Maddicks
Artie Maddicks
Muffin the kitten
Bad timing
Soviet mutant policy
Soviet robot disambiguation
The Doppelganger (Wolfgang Heinreich)
A ruse
Alexei Garnov, Mentac the Living Computer, Concussion, Iron Curtain, and Siberian Tiger
The worst phonetic accent we have ever seen.
The Alliance of Evil
Frenzy (Joanna Cargill)
The color of Beast’s fur
Our favorite X-Men toys
NEXT WEEK: Miniseries Mayhem!
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can contact David Wynne for the original!
56 – Death by Crossover
May 11, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which nothing comes between Sam Guthrie and his classic sci-fi allusions; Sunspot tries; the Beyonder is really scary; you can have Danielle Moonstar’s agency when you pry it from her cold, dead hands; Empath remains the worst kid; Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander just cannot catch a break; Emma Frost gets nuanced; Magneto does the wrong things for the right reasons; Rachel and Miles like liking things; and we finally wrap up Secret Wars II.
X-PLAINED:
Soulsword custody
New Mutants #36-40
The best Secret Wars II tie-in
Several Beyonder-triggered crises of confidence
A literal derailment in the midst of a metaphorical derailment
The Greek tragedy of Illyana Rasputin
Personal personifications of death
Counting coup
The death of the New Mutants
Crossover-related PTSD
A pep talk from a frog
Art style as a component of narrative
The Hellions (again)
Sadneto
Madneto
A completely avoidable fight
Rachel’s definitive Emma Frost moment
Emma Frost, Charles Xavier, and moral culpability
NEXT WEEK: The dubious debut of Apocalypse!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back
May 03, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
Life before social media
Uncanny X-Men #202-205
Alpha Flight #33-34
Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
The Reverse Gwen Stacy
Still more miracles of magnetism
Kitty Pryde disambiguation
SFLANNG!
Good times in Murderworld
The third-worst honeymoon
Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
Spiral’s Body Shop
The Reavers
One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
Skirting the Comics Code
Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
Good X-books for a 3-year-old
Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
54 – Who You Gonna Call? (feat. Elle Collins)
Apr 26, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/3/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which the X-Men get their third ongoing series; Elle drops in to x-plain the Defenders; the band gets back together; rich people are not like the rest of us; Cyclops is in desperate need of some kind of intervention; and X-Factor is basically Ghostbusters.
X-PLAINED:
Cameron Hodge
The fairly spectacular secret origins of X-Factor
The Champions
The New Defenders
The evolution of Hank McCoy
X-Factor #1
The death throes of Scott and Madelyne’s marriage
Rusty Collins
A really bad first date
The increasingly dubious life choices of Scott Summers
The worst job interview
Sushi-a-Go-Go
How not to have an intervention
X-Factor
The X-Terminators
The Phoenix Force on Earth-811 (and its relationship to Rachel Summers)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder ruins everything. Again.
You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
53 – Sometimes They Come Back
Apr 20, 2015
Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there’s no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister for a costume party.
In which Wolverine doesn’t care about your baby; Storm takes charge; duels are terrible bases for systems of government; editorial mandate is hell on a marriage; Magneto is a pretty cool teacher; Jean Grey comes back; and we have mixed feelings about the Phoenix retcon.
X-PLAINED:
Kenji Uedo
Uncanny X-Men #201
New Mutants #35
Avengers #263
Fantastic Four #286
Classic X-Men #8
The post-Trial of Magneto status quo
Nathan Christopher Charles Summers
A small cross-section of Cyclops’s myriad issues
The wrong means to the right end
Magneto’s educational philosophy
The politics of creative credits
“You Know Who”
The Phoenix retcon
Several unrelated break-ins
The return of Jean Grey
Jean and the Phoenix Force
Alternate-timeline Madelynes Pryor
Jean Grey’s code names
NEXT WEEK: X-Factor begins! (for real, this time – sorry about that SNAFU!)
You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
52 – Previously on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men…
Apr 13, 2015
Art by David Wynne.
In which we recap a year’s worth of podcasts–and 23 years’ worth of X-Men–in under an hour.
X-PLAINED:
Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men, Episodes 1-51
Uncanny X-Men #1-200 & assorted annuals
Giant-Size X-Men #1
The New Mutants
New Mutants #1-35 & assorted annuals and specials
The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans
God Loves, Man Kills
Wolverine vol. 1
X-Men/Micronauts
Storm and Illyana: Magik
Kitty Pryde and Wolverine
Dazzler: The Movie
Beauty and the Beast
Firestar
Secret Wars vol. 1
Secret Wars vol. 2
Longshot
Several other assorted X and X-relevant stories
Our pipe-dream pitches
Multiversal designations
NEXT WEEK: The return of Jean Grey!
Special thanks to R. Pawson for the WHAT?! supercut!
You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!
We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can still contact David Wynne to inquire after the original!
51 – The X-Istentialists, Featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen
Apr 06, 2015
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
In which Rachel and Miles go to Emerald City Comicon; six people try to share one microphone with varying success; you will never love anything as much as Kris loves Broo; Marguerite may or may not be a time-traveling supervillain; Peter is Laser Guy; Kieron joins an X-team; Hell is other X-Men; everyone lies egregiously; and it all comes back to Namor’s abs.
Special thanks to Jean, who let us borrow her mic and pop filter at the very last second when we realized we’d left ours in Portland! <3
X-PLAINED:
Namor’s last name
Several Secret Wars titles
Wiz Kid
Favorite characters
Lady Deathstrike’s new look
Seanan McGuire’s cats
Machetes of Future Past
Emily Aster
Asteroid P
Secret origins
Points of entry
Headcanon
The Wolverine and the X-Men Season 2 that might have been
The pros and cons of an isolated X-universe
The X-Istentialists
Hela’s Angels
Namor’s abs
What defines the X-Men
Mr. Sinister
Our X-movie wish lists
Wes Anderson’s X-Men (both of them)
NEXT WEEK: Previously on Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men…
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can still contact David Wynne to inquire after the original!
50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr
Mar 30, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Magneto makes an official alignment shift; Claremont does a court drama; Professor Xavier makes poor choices; Rachel Summers comes by her communication skills honest; the Strucker kids are the evil Wonder Twins; and the podcast hits a major milestone!
X-PLAINED:
Xorn
Uncanny X-Men #196, 199, and 200
The X-Men status quo circa 1985
Magneto’s alignment shift
Beyonder-related existential crises
A hypothetical murder mystery
Minor vandalism as a harbinger of dark futures
Psi-scream
Brood classified ads
A thematic parallel
The tipping point in Scott and Madelyne’s relationship
The new, improved Magneto
The Professor Who Cried Wolf
Phoenix II
Earth-811/Earth-616 disambiguation
Freedom Force
The Trial of Magneto
NPR-616
James Jaspers
The best editor’s note
The mystery of Magneto’s age
Andrea & Andreas Strucker
What not to wear to court
A super icky sword
Phoenix morality
Sponsorship & conflict of interest
NEXT WEEK: Emerald City Comicon special with Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we meet Miles’s favorite X-Man; Longshot is Secret Wars II done right; we are fairly committed to the idea of Ann Nocenti as a post-apocalyptic daredevil superhero; Longshot is patient zero of the ‘90s; Ricochet Rita is the best; luck is a zero-sum commodity; Mojo is legitimately terrifying; and nuance is Longshot’s secret weakness.
X-PLAINED:
Spiral
The Body Shop
Several ill-advised body swaps
Longshot
Longshot
Rachel Summers Syndrome
The evolution of Art Adams
The metaphysics of luck
The secret origin of pouches
A large number of pop culture allusions
Glam survivalists
Psychometry
Moral complexity
Gog’n’Magog
Ricochet Rita
The social economics of jetpacks
A whole lot of social satire and commentary
Star Slammers
Mojo
The Mojoverse
Luck as a zero-sum commodity
Arize
Quark
Longshot and Dazzler’s star sigils
Finding (or creating) your comics community
NEXT WEEK: The Trial of Magneto!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Asgardian Wars occupies the precise intersection of Miles’s favorite things; Marvel Asgard is your favorite metal album; no one appreciates Cypher; Wolfsbane gets some action; Warlock gets meta; Cannonball is a catch; Rachel Summers gets a new costume; Loki does Shakespeare; and Rachel overthinks Leverage.
X-PLAINED:
Various Mjolnirs and their attendant powers
Asgardian Wars
New Mutants Special Edition #1
X-Men Annual #9
The Surtwar
Art Adams
Amora the Enchantress
Lorelei
Several pop culture cameos
A really dubious beach party
The Viking Sorceress Asgardian Portrait of Dorian Grey
Ed Grimley
Hrimhari
Wolf makeouts
The Marvel version of Norse mythology
The Warriors Three
Rule #1 of dealing with fairies
A hawk ‘hawk
Valkyries
Einherjar
A costume in somewhat questionable taste
Interdimensional lightning-bolt mixology
Our favorite Thor story, ever
How to get your friends and neighbors into comics
Asgardian mutants (or lack thereof)
X-Leverage cross-casting
NEXT WEEK: Longshot!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
47 – The Price of Power (feat. Elisabeth Allie)
Mar 09, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.
X-PLAINED:
Madelyne Pryor
X-Men/Alpha Flight vols. 1&2
The Berserkers
An unconventional model of family therapy
Aggressive foreshadowing
NPC dialogue
Jazzercise superheroes
Superhero color theory
Sasquatch
Aurora
Those Who Sit Above in Shadow
Norse fashion of the ‘80s
Very specific superpowers
Some sweet boots
The price of power
A deus ex machina squared
Kitty and Piotr’s first date
Snowbird’s powers
Miles’s favorite X-Man
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/8/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we bid a fond farewell to Bill Sienkiewicz; Secret Wars II continues to ruin everything; the New Mutants end up in an improbable number of gladiatorial arenas; Shadowcat’s secondary mutation is queer subtext; Magik gives no fucks about your crossover event; Warlock transcends storytelling conventions; and Karma rejoins the team.
X-PLAINED:
The chronologically inconsistent mobility of Professor Xavier
The Shadow King
New Mutants #29-34
Steve Leialoha
The Arena (more) (again)
Evil group projects
Easter eggs
Rachel Summers: butch fashion icon
Some major failures of positive size diversity in comics
Madripoor
Ashake
The incredible changing Guthries
The wickedest club in Cairo
Default X-teams
Cypher’s powers
NEXT WEEK: Miles and Elisabeth Allie X-Plain X-Men / Alpha Flight
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 3/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we discard our regularly scheduled programming to focus on Storm and Lifedeath II; no one draws motion like Barry Windsor-Smith; Storm goes up to eleven; and we really wish we had the frame of reference to place this story in the larger context of diaspora literature.
X-Plained:
Forge
The Adversary
Uncanny X-Men #198 (Lifedeath II)
Storm
The narrative impact of sexualization
Barry Windsor-Smith
Extreme weather in comics
Hallucinatory X-Men
Storm in adaptation
The Storm elevator pitch
Our Storm dream casting
Mjnari
Artist editions
Colonialism
Storm as a liminal figure
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants Go to the Arena!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier
Feb 16, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Legion grows from setting to protagonist; Rachel is a master of narrative rationalization; “Claremont” is a verb; Warlock befriends an airplane; Xavier owns a significant mistake; New Mutants does a deep dive into power dynamics; you should go read X-Men: Legacy already; and Si reveals the true secret nature of reality.
X-PLAINED:
Blindfold (Ruth Aldine)
Luca Aldine
Legion (David Haller)
Mental illness in fiction
New Mutants #26-28
Socialized medicine
Appropriate gym apparel
Rachel’s favorite scene from any X-book, ever
Claremonting
Jack Wayne
Cyndi
Jemail Karami
Roughly 20 years of condensed continuity
The Age of Apocalypse
Age of X
X-Men: Legacy vol. 2
Father issues
David Haller’s accent
The Origamist
Santi Sardina
A visual metaphor
The true secret nature of reality
Professor Y
The Franklin Richards Universe Hypothesis
NEXT WEEK: Spotlight on Storm
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
43 – It’s Not a Secret If It’s in the Title
Feb 09, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we cover 21 issues in one episode; Secret Wars is a toy commercial; Jim Shooter’s X-Men are not the X-Men to which we are accustomed; Doctor Doom makes a surprisingly benevolent god; Secret Wars II is neither secret nor a war; The Beyonder learns to poop; and Boom-Boom is the best thing to come out of Secret Wars.
X-Plained:
Secret Wars
The not-particularly-secret origin of Secret Wars
Binary morality
Battleworld
The Wrecking Crew
Klaw
The Beyonder
Molecule Man
Doki-Doki Universe
Titania and Volcana
Zsaji
Secret Wars II
The Passion of Jim Shooter
Stewart Cadwall
What people do
Tie-ins
Pooping
What it means to be Spider-Man
Boom-Boom (Tabitha Smith)
The time a bunch of superheroes saved the universe by killing a baby
NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.
X-Plained:
Trevor Fitzroy
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
Nostalgia
X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
Ms. Lion
Marvel Divas
Sudsy fun
Superhero sitcoms
Firestar #1-4
Basic palmistry
Generic mean girls
Coen Brothers YA
The reinvention of Emma Frost
Some epic gaslighting
Butter Rum
Mutivac
Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
Contextual definitions of “organic”
NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Nimrod is probably an honorary Summers by this point; Claremont hits a centennial; it’s probably pretty hard to get an unconscious person into tight leather pants; the X-Men finally encounter a world that actually hates and fears them; and the Power Pack fits somewhat uneasily with the grown-up Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Nimrod
Uncanny X-Men #193-195
Thunderbird II (James Proudstar)
Situation-inappropriate attire
The worst Hellions
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Why you call ahead before breaking into NORAD
Leadership
Public opinion
Juggernaut fights
How the X-Men wake up
Nazgûl
Tyranny of the Masses: The Robot
The Voltron Special
The Power Pack
Navigating crossovers
NEXT WEEK: Firestar!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
40 – Give Them Something to Punch (With G. Willow Wilson)
Jan 19, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/25/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which writer G. Willow Wilson joins us to talk about her new run on X-Men; the Future is really confusing; we consider the many iterations of Rachel Grey; Storm probably has strong feelings about climate change; and writing for a shared universe takes some seriously fancy footwork.
X-Plained:
Jubilee
Shogo (a little)
The future vs. the Future
X-Men vols. 1-4
The logistics of stepping into a book mid-series
Pigeonholing and “girl” books
The proper pronunciation of Kamala
Storm (again)
Psylocke
M
Rachel Grey (again)
Cross-title coordination
Writing in a shared universe
Super-powered ecology
The gender politics of telepathy
Writing and dialogue across media
Marginalization, intersectionality, and the mutant metaphor
Next Week: Pink robots from the future!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.
X-Plained:
Spider-Man crossovers
Cats
Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
New Mutants #22-25
Phone calls with bears
Glam day at the Hellfire Club
Rahne’s fairytale
Cloak & Dagger
Drugs
Eldritch curtains
A seriously flawed evil plan
Harry’s Hideaway
The Sam and Dani Show
Magneto’s hair
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
Waiting for the T
Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
How to buy original art
NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
38 – Welcome to Murderworld (Feat. Chris Sims)
Jan 05, 2015
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.
X-Plained
Captain Britain
Arcade
Francisco Scaramanga
The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610
Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197
Chris’s first X-Men
A really sweet truck
Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism
What the X-Men do on their night off
Hella nipples
Murderworld
Miss Locke
Mr. Chambers
Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe
A large number of elaborate deathtraps
Soviet Nick Fury
The Proletarian
Hostage-wrapping
Phil and Tobe
One way to celebrate your birthday
Avengers Arena
Miss Coriander
The best non-X Arcade stories
The end of Axis Sixis
Arcade at the Arcade
NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.
X-Plained
God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5)
William Stryker
An inappropriate analogy
Keeping it interesting
Favorite episodes
Bridging the fan/critic divide
Our ongoing obsession with bit characters
The challenge of keeping Charles Xavier relevant
X-Planation Curation
Several stories we’re really looking forward to covering
X-Writers on a desert island
Internet fights
Favorite stories vs. best stories
Stupid hats of the Marvel Universe
Dr. Doom as Tim Gunn
Havok vs. ceiling fans
Educational standards of the Marvel Universe
The First Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade
CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!
In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.
X-Plained:
Strong Guy
Annuals
New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
Lila Cheney
Both versions of Cats Laughing
The Vrakanain
Chris Claremont Book Club
Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
Some dubious campfire games
Illyana’s Space Opera
Space pirate X-Men
Some long-awaited resolution
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which literally every character in Dazzler: The Movie is the absolute worst; Beauty and the Beast is secretly kind of awesome; Ann Nocenti is an editorial war-bard; Rachel issues a hat-related retraction; and we would read the hell out of Tales from the Heartbreak Hotel.
X-Plained:
The many mutations of Hank McCoy
Alison Blaire
Dazzler: The Movie
Dazzler’s corporate origins
The original plans for the actual unmade Dazzler movie
Severely off-model Storm
Ziggy the Butler
Several frankly horrifying courtships
Roman Nekoboh
Eric Beale
Beauty and the Beast (but not that one)
The correct way to open a miniseries
Ann Nocenti
Alexander Flynn
The importance of voice in writing Beast
Max Rocker
The Heartbreak Hotel (but not that one) and its residents
Nocenti narration
Some really dubious underground theater
The worst hat
What Dazzler’s been up to lately
NEXT WEEK: Rock’n’Roll Annuals… IN SPACE!
ART CHALLENGE: Join us in a world where Beauty and the Beast spinoff Tales from the Heartbreak Hotel is a real, published comic–and send us your fan-art from that series!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants
Dec 08, 2014
Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!
In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.
X-Plained
Northstar
Beard privilege
X-Men 189-192
Anachronistic timeline markers
Hounds
The Culture Shock Class
An Age Undreamed of
Conan disambiguation
Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
Kulan Gath
Marvel Team-Up #79
Barbarian Avengers
Why we love Captain America
Several haircuts
WiFi sorcery
A really good inspirational speech
The inevitable cephalopod revolution
Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
Claudication
Hide-and-seek
How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
Magus
Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler
Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
Next Week: Dazzler: The Movie!
You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.
In which we dive into two crossovers; our DCU is the DCAU; the Greys just cannot catch a break; Darkseid is basically Santa Claus; the Phoenix Force has Cyclops feels; Baron Karza is the sonic screwdriver of supervillains; and the Enigma Force is aptly named.
CONTENT NOTE: The Micronauts portion of this episode involves not-particularly-graphic but still fairly involved discussions of sexual violence. If that’s not something you want to listen to, we’d recommend stopping the episode after the Teen Titans portion at 26:26, and fast-forwarding to 47:52 for conclusions, questions, and outro.
X-Plained:
Crossover Earth
Amalgam
Crossovers
The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans
The Teen Titans
The One True Flash
Cosmic Kirby
Darkseid
Metron
The Source Wall
Deathstroke the Terminator
Ravok
Butte sex
Cyclops and the Phoenix Force
The X-Men and the Micronauts #1-4
Bill Mantlo
The Hero Initiative
Micronauts
The Microverse
Baron Karza
Evil Xavier (more)(again)(seriously, how is anyone still surprised when this happens)
Several moral event horizons crossed in quick succession
Female protagonists in X-books
Next Week: Captain America in a loincloth!
You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.
In which we hit the definitive arc of New Mutants; Bill Sienkiewicz blows our minds; Rachel gets choked up over a credits spread; Rahne gets a makeover; Doug Ramsey is justifiably flustered; and Warlock is a friend to household appliances.
NOTE: This episode includes a lot of art talk. While doing so is not strictly necessary to follow the discussion, we recommend listening with the visual companion open.
X-Plained:
Warlock
The transmode virus
New Mutants #18-21
The Demon Bear Saga
Bill Sienkiewicz
Task leaders vs. social leaders
Page layout as a storytelling tool
Soul armor
The Demon Bear and its shadow
One of the best covers of all time
Makeovers
The deeply problematic fate of Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander
What the New Mutants are up to these days
Next Week: Crossovers!
You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.
In which there is a whole, whole lot going on; we continue to have no use for Michael Rossi; Wolverine should be an advice columnist; Forge makes bold fashion choices; the health of a timeline is directly tied to the awesomeness of Storm’s hair; and the X-Men get their first dark-future refugee.
X-Plained:
Dire Wraiths
ROM
Tailoring
Uncanny X-Men #182-188
Just how much story can be shoehorned into seven issues
A dubious Silent Hill metaphor
The people in Rogue’s head
Inexorable momentum
Several profoundly uncomfortable conversations
Parallel narrative in comics
Being friends with Wolverine
Casual enmity
Forge
Miles’s X-doppelganger
Tiny shorts
Chekhov’s Raygun
Rachel Summers (again)
Timeline disambiguation
Rachel disambiguation
“Lifedeath: A Love Story”
Feelings
Storm, powers, and identity
X-Men Mad-Libs
Hound marks
X-Men: The End
Next Week: THE DEMON BEAR SAGA!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.
In which the New Mutants are the Bobbsey Twins to the X-Men’s Sam Spade; Nina da Costa is Ms. Frizzle; New Mutants does a Rachel-and-Miles cold open; Selene is the Elizabeth Bathory of lava; Rahne likes Sam, Sam likes Amara, Dani likes Bobby, and Bobby likes everyone; Gil and Art are no Harvey and Janet; Miles has a Del Preston moment, Magma is a Horta; and if something super happens, you should tell a super adult.
X-Plained:
Selene
Externals
New Mutants #7-17
The da Costa family
Axe
Some really dubious cosmetic choices
Nova Roma
Amara Aquilla (Magma)
Op-art as a superpower
Doug Ramsey’s hair
The Massachusetts Academy
New-Wave Superteens
Deflection
The Hellions
Not-Particularly-Secret Origins of the Hellfire Club
Publishing schedules
Next Week: Lifedeath, time travel, and Forge’s tiny shorts.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.
In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.
X-Plained:
Fantomex
Uncanny X-Men #176-181
Reset issues
Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
Cephalopod disambiguation
Project Wideawake (more) (again)
Valerie Cooper
Foreshadowing
Public displays of affection
Leech
How X-Men age
A sewer wizard
Doug Ramsey
Secret Wars
Japan
Mystique’s kids
Douglock
Mystique’s powers
The other X-Men Forever
Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we welcome back Greg Rucka, Rachel makes a valiant effort to read Secret Wars, Earth-200500 is still the best Earth, Kitty Pryde and Wolverine is kind of dodgy, Ogūn is low-rent Mister Sinister, Miles talks about empathy, Greg has an Edna Mode moment, and we all love Kitty Pryde.
X-Plained:
X-Men #153
Kitty’s Fairy Tale
Earth-5311
Earth-200500 (again)
Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #1-6
Samurai eyefucking
Ogūn
Special cuddles
Some really dodgy stuff
The best Kitties Pryde
Professor K.
Smart kids in fiction
Why we love Shadowcat
Point-of-entry characters and gender
Costume theory
Our favorite new podcast
Next Week: Cyclops is the worst at vacations.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
Like this weeks’ art? You can get prints here until 11/2, or contact David to inquire after the original!
X-TRA – Greg Pak at New York Comic Con
Oct 23, 2014
Storm #1 cover art by Victor Ibañez
Rachel caught up with Greg Pak during NYCC–on no sleep, and on the con floor, so apologies in advance for the sound–to talk about Storm, Storm, team vs. solo titles, post-colonial X-Men, and more.
Note: This was recorded on October 9, so the “last issue” referenced in the interview is Storm #3.
27 – NYCC 2014 Special with Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman
Oct 19, 2014
Adam X the X-Treme, updated by David Wynne!
In which we sit down with two of our favorite X-artists for an hour of continuity, character design, and a lot of wine; Corsair is the coolest; Emma Frost is a secret viewpoint character; Bishop is the anti-Booster Gold; Adam X the X-Treme gets a new hat; and none of us know how to pronounce “Bachalo.”
X-Plained:
The secret X-origins of Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman
Definitive books and artists
Favorite characters and series
Mephistoid spacesuit logistics
Emma Frost as a reader stand-in
The secret origin of Psylocke’s pants
Uncanny X-Men
The best flashback montage ever
Underappreciated / underdeveloped characters
All the Rogues
Plot twists
Bishop
Dream teams
Sexy dudes with sexy abs
How to update Adam X the X-Treme
Next Week: What’s New, Shadowcat?
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)
Oct 12, 2014
Art by David Wynne.
In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.
X-Plained
Viper
Brood stuff
The original New Mutans (more) (again)
The New Mutants #1-6
Denial
Dani vs. the Danger Room
Mall stories
Neighborhood kids
Henry Peter Gyrich
Sebastian Shaw (again)
Project Wideawake (sort of)
Michael Rossi
A poorly-timed crossover
Gabrielle Haller
A profoundly unethical relationship
A Very Special Episode
Overkill
Magnum, P.I.
Team America (but not that one)
Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
The Girl With the Silver Eyes
X-Men reading order
The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:
In which Wolverine gets his first miniseries, Yukio is still (and forever) the best, we categorically reject the classification “manic pixie dreamgirl,” everything is noir as hell, Wolverine gets an Iron Giant moment, Storm is too cool for your dress code, and we finally made “Probably a Summers Brother” t-shirts.
X-Plained:
X-23
The 1982 Wolverine miniseries
Uncanny X-Men #172-173
Rachel’s Wolverine feelings
An auspicious road trip
Early Frank Miller
A really epic team-up
Plug’n’play storytelling
How to tell a good Wolverine story
Mariko Yashida
Honor
Shingen Yashida
Yukio
The Inverse Law of Ninjas
The Forty-Seven Ronin
Silver Samurai
Viper
A Ninja meet-cute
The Cyclops / Wolverine double standard
The secret origins of Wolverine’s mask and hair
Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ‘shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.
X-Plained:
Lockheed
Uncanny X-Men #168-175
Reset issues
A one-sided rivalry
The lowest-drama X-romance
The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
Kitty’s Kostume Korner
Rachel’s questionably-canon ships
The Morlocks
Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
Callisto
Caliban
Sunder
Plague
Masque
A dubbing error
Gender dimorphism in superhero media
Storm’s first major character arc
Our single favorite superhero artist
Rogue
Rogue’s accent
A Charles Xavier we can believe in
Yukio
Punk Storm
Madelyne Pryor
Closure
Cyclops vs. formalwear
Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com
Next Week: Claremont and Miller’s Wolverine!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Rachel and Miles return triumphant, the X-Men get a second ongoing series, we hit peak Moira MacTaggert, R-A-H-N-E is definitely pronounced “rain,” Sam Guthrie is the nicest henchman, Claremont is hit-and-miss on cultural diversity, and Bobby da Costa is the teenageriest teenager of them all.
X-Plained:
Nova Roma
The New Mutants and The New Mutants
Marvel Graphic Novels
Greenberg the Vampire
call-backs
Karma
Wolfsbane
Sunspot
Cannonball
Mirage
Whitewashing in superhero comics
The mercurial Guthrie family
Xi’an the Obscure
The Dr. Claw Effect (and why Dr. Doom and Arcade are exceptions)
Donald Pierce
Eras of New Mutants
Lila Cheney
The Hellions
Next Week: The X-Men do Barbarella
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.
X-Plained
Summers kids
Scott and Jean
Feelings
X-Men #32
The worst date ever
Madelyne Pryor
Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
Three proposals
X-Factor #53
Uncanny X-Men #308
“Fatal Attractions”
That one panel that gets us every time
X-Men vol. 2 #30
Some really excellent wedding vows
The best kiss in X-Men
Cats Laughing
Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
Existential ramifications of fictional romance
Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.
Week after next: The New Mutants!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go
Aug 31, 2014
Art by David Wynne
In which special guest Kurt Busiek is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of X-Men, Rachel and Miles learn to love the Silver Age, Cyclops gets a job, Bernard the Poet falls from grace, we really wish X-Men: The Secret Years was a real book, everyone recites poetry, and we still don’t get around to Marvels.
X-Plained:
METOXO, the Lava Man
The true, secret purpose of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Phoenix retcon
Archival pocket dimensions
Enid Blyton’s X-Men
Early-to-mid-20th Century American Jewish Socialism
Why the X-Men are terrible mutant P.R.
Band names of the Silver Age
An X-Men series that might have been.
Why Cyclops should be the Rachel Maddow of Marvel
Quicksilver’s childhood dreams
The Coffee-a-Go-Go
Bernard the Poet
Zelda Kurtzberg
The Barefoot Beats
Next week: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).
X-Plained:
Broo
The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
Paul Smith
Space fashion
A really terrible awards ceremony
Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
The Brood
How to tell a good Wolverine story
Rocket sharks
The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
Binary
The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
Friendship (more) (again)
The Acanti
Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
The New Mutants
Cloning
Our secret cold-open formula
Cosmic crossovers
Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont’s X-Men.
X-Plained:
Mikhail Rasputin
Hell dimensions, including but not limited to
The Void
The Dark Zone
The Hill
Limbo
The other Limbo
Yet a third Limbo
Reincarnation
Illyana Rasputin
Magic vs. Magik
Uncanny X-Men #160
Octopusheim
Stepping Disks
Otherplace
Belasco
Emergo
S’ym
Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4
Bloodstones
Yet another set of alternate X-Men
Friendship
The Soulsword
Podcasting
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Dr. Nemesis is delightful, Bill Sienkiewicz foreshadows himself, Dracula hits on absolutelyeveryone, Blade Godwins a crossover event, Jubilee get a jet ski, the X-Men do Castlevania 2, Rachel and Miles pick a vacation destination, and Cyclops wants you to follow your heart.
X-Plained:
Dr. Nemesis
A very good page of a very good comic
Dracula variations
X-Men #159
Appropriate use of holy symbols
“The D”
Tomb of Dracula
Bloodstorm
Carrotstorm
Curse of the Mutants
Jubilee
Crossover events
Why we can’t have nice things
Some really sweet weaponry
The Dracula Reassembly Machine
Phone sex with Gambit
The point of being Lord of the Vampires
X-Club
Authorial voice in comics
Why there probably won’t be a Starjammers movie
Next Episode: Rachel and Miles go to Hell (kind of)!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we make our Comics Alliance debut, Cyclops makes a startling discovery, Carol Danvers joins the team (sort of), Chris Claremont calls out some bullshit, Havok still has terrible taste in hats, and Peter Corbeau gets his own theme music
Content note: In this episode, we spend a lot of time talking about a rape that occurs in a previous Avengers arc, the community and narrative response thereto, and the larger landscape and ethics of portrayals of sexual violence in superhero comics.
X-Plained
Mystique’s mercurial alliances
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Uncanny X-Men #154-158
Avengers Annual #10
Bollywood Starjammers
The dread Psi-Scream
Shi’ar Fashion Technology
Dr. Peter Corbeau (more) (again)
Rogue
Carol Danvers
The Whole Marcus Thing
Chris Claremont vs. rape culture
Computers
Gender politics of the Dark Phoenix Saga
Next week: Dracula!
Clarification, since we neglected to specify in the episode: Avengers #200 was written by James Shooter, George Pérez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie; Avengers Annual #10 was written by Chris Claremont.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel
Jul 28, 2014
In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim’s first name; and the future remains a relative mystery.
For purposes of continuity, it’s probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel.
X-Plained:
Quentin Quire
Patreon
A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup
The current state of the X-Men
Decimation
Dark Reign
Utopia
Schism
Avengers vs. X-Men
Mutant politics
Hope Summers
The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again)
The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier
Teenager hijinks
Crossover events
Battle of the Atom
Semantics of supervillainy
How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die
Jumping-on points
Current X-books
Jubilee
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism.
X-Plained:
The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics
Friendship
X-Men #148-152
Unstable Denim
Disco Dinner Clubs
Caliban (a little)
Kitty Pryde’s amazing fashion sense
Garokk the Unremarkable
Atlantean couture
Why Magneto is Interesting
The Massachusetts Academy
The Persona Exchange Gun
Harvey and Janet
How to win $2500 in 1980
Editorial Outsourcing
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre
Jul 14, 2014
In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce “Aleytys,” Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves.
X-Plained:
Department H
Department K
Director X
The Weapon Plus Program
Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
Weapons I-XVI
The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage
The new normal
Stevie Hunter
The Wendigo
Berserker rage
Yard work
Wolverines
Angel’s one move
The N’Garai (again)
Lee Forrester
D’Spayre
Magic-Feather villains
Man-Thing
Doctor Doom
Arcade
Why it sucks to be Havok
The X-Perts’ relative areas of X-pertise
Cyclops vs. Storm
Signature moves
CORRECTIONS: Lee’s dad’s house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad’s theme park, because that was definitely a thing.
In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.
X-Plained:
Inhumans
The Kree
The Terrigen Mist
Teamwork
The Dark Phoenix
Cameos with cosmic implications
The Phoenix event horizon
Establishing scale
Psychic battles
The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
Danger-room exposition
The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
Pacing
The power of friendship
Quiet moments
The blue area of the moon
The best last stand
Moon vandalism
The Phoenix Retcon
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we wade into the first arc of the Dark Phoenix Saga, Rachel does not like Sage, the Hellfire Club are the mean girls of the Marvel Universe, Cyclops and Phoenix have a Moment, Mastermind ruins everything, Emma Frost is a force to be reckoned with, Wolverine gets awesome, and we meet the Dark Phoenix.
X-Plained:
Sage
The Hellfire Club
The Inner Circle
Jason Wyngarde (again)
Sebastian Shaw
Harry Leland
Emma Frost
Donald Pierce
Hegemony and social politics of the Hellfire Club
18th Century bondage cosplay
Kitty Pryde
The worst disco ever
Alison Blaire
Tiny shorts
How to make Wolverine work
Sexual politics of the Dark Phoenix
Why Magneto’s powers are broken post-AvX
The P.E.N.I.S. five
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.
X-Plained:
Who would win in a fight
The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special
Cycloptometry
Backissues, collections, and where to find them
Podcaster ‘shipping
Spinoffs
Rachel Summers (more) (again)
Five tattoos
Non-X stuff we’re into
X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority
Ultimate X-Men
How to keep track of crossovers
Textual queerness
The Siege Perilous
Jean vs. Emma
Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories
Dream teams
The Glammest Timeline
Best and worst code names
Bendis’s X-books
X-animals
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Phoenix has nothing on Jamie Madrox when it comes to retcons, Pterosaurs have super punchable faces, Colossus gets laid, we are uninterested in the Savage Land, Wolverine and Storm are both pretty interesting, smiling costs extra if you’re Doctor Doom, Banshee saves the day, Alpha Flight tries, Angry Hovercraft Guy comes back, and Proteus is fairly upsetting.
X-Plained:
X-Men #109, 114-16, 118-122, and 125-128
Multiple Man
Metacontinuity
The Savage Land
Pterosaurs
Shi’ar mustache technology
Karl Lykos
Misty Knight
Colleen Wing
Wolverine in Japan
Mandroids
Moses Magnum
A Heist
Angus McWhirter, disgruntled hovercraft rental guy
Alpha Flight
Team Dynamics
Why you always leave a note
Proteus
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
Next week: Secret origins, shipper wars, the Siege Perilous, and which of us would win in a fight.
9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party
Jun 08, 2014
In which Rachel refuses to back down from a challenge, we reject a point of canon, Leprechauns know Wolverine’s secrets, Erik the Red is (still) awful, Professor X is (still) a dick, the X-Men are your D&D party, the Shi’ar do a Star Trek riff, Phoenix is kind of a big deal, the circus comes to town, and Magneto gets creepy.
Next week: Wolverine punches a pterosaur, Cyclops grows a mustache, and everyone gets possessed!
8 – What We Talk About When We Talk About Claremont
Jun 01, 2014
In which Chris Claremont defines the X-Universe; Sunfire quits the team (again); Nightcrawler is the best; the narrator is nobody’s friend; Colossus is a good kid; Cyclops has a long series of bad days; everyone is a bondage Viking; Rachel is a space pedant, we meet the Phoenix, and Wolverine is the Batman of Marvel.
X-Plained:
Polaris’s kinda-powers
Our first crossover event
How much we love you
Chris Claremont, and why he’s the definitive X-writer
Comics In Focus: Chris Claremont’s X-Men
Why Nightcrawler is the best point-of-view character
The long game
Tom Orzechowski’s dimension-folding lettering skills
Claremontisms
The malicious narrator
Count Nefaria
Sliding-scale ransom
The life, death, and occasional reanimation of Thunderbird
Friendship
The care and feeding of cairns
Erik the Red
Quiet moments
Sentinels and X-Sentinels
Steven Lang
The (first) death and return of Jean Grey
Accents
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which death is a revolving door, we really liked Days of Future Past, space pirates are the best pirates, Vulcan is (still) the worst, Miles has a Corsair costume, Lilandra has lovely plumage, no one knows how to pronounce “M’Kraan,” we studiously avoid discussing the Phoenix force, Saurids speak Hebrew, Raza Longknife’s name is a bit on the nose, Rachel is the worst at hugs, Greg has a ‘ship, and we all kind of identify with Cyclops.
X-Plained:
The Starjammers (and how to pronounce their names)
The Shi’ar
The Neremani Dynasty
Plumage
Apostrophe abuse
Corsair
The secret origins of the Starjammers
Why Hepzibah talks like that
The Rule of Cool
Visor iterations
Summerstaches
Cyclops’s dubious deductive skills
Hugs
The All-New, All-the-Same X-Men
Teenagers, again
Cyclops #1
Cyclops vs. Scott
Space-parenting
Rachel’s convention sketchbook
Greg’s Kitty Pryde feelings
An exceptionally vivid threat
Intergalactic fashion
Corsair’s pecs
Key parties in space
The greatest romance of the Marvel Universe
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
Next week: Welcome to the Claremont era, listeners—hope you survive the experience!
6 – Days of Future Whatever
May 18, 2014
In which we more or less prepare you for the upcoming feature film; Rachel Summers is a black hole of continuity; Kitty Pryde breaks the Danger Room; Earth 200500 is clearly the best earth; even the X-Men have no idea what’s going on; First Class Emma Frost is so boring that we forget she exists; wolverines are definitely not wolves; and you can have Rachel’s Community references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.
X-Plained:
Rachel Summers
“Days of Future Past”
Gravestone engraving standards of 2013
The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Another unfortunate hat
Causality in the Marvel Multiverse
Earths 811, 1191, 295, 311, and 200500
Hall monitors with laser rifles
How to fix a broken timeline
The X-Men cinematic universe, and points of divergence from the comics
The one thing X-Men: The Last Stand does right
The Xavier Index of Cinematic Continuity
The difference between Canis lupus and Gulo gulo
A Days of Future Past cinematic cram course
Fix-it fic
Blink, Bishop, and dark-future mash-ups
The enduring appeal of Earth-811
The significantly less enduring appeal of Earth-242
The Nazi Excalibur of Earth-597
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which the Bronze Age begins; Dave Cockrum is your god now; the band gets together; Sunfire joins the team; cultural sensitivity is not Marvel’s strong suit; Sunfire quits the team; it sucks to be Cyclops; Professor X crosses a moral event horizon; Sunfire joins the team; Ed Brubaker channels Thomas Hardy; you are probably a Summers brother; and Sunfire quits the team.
X-Plained:
Bamf-Voltron Nightcrawler
Giant-Size X-Men #1
The worst hat of the Marvel Universe
The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different X-Men
A business-casual angry mob
The limits of creative good intentions
Tractor punching on the Ust-Ordynski Collective
The correct spelling of “fine”
Canada
Sunfire’s utter disdain for everything, including you
Krakoa: The Island That Walks Like a Man!
Characteristics of good X-fights
Yet another miracle of magnetism
X-Men: Deadly Genesis
Summers Family Continuity (Introductory)
More hats
The Muir-MacTaggert Research Facility
Summers Family Continuity (Intermediate)
The Charles Xavier Scale of Supervillainy
Relative immunity
Wolverine’s ubiquity
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:
What would you do with thirteen X-Men?
Help us find all-ages-friendly Marvel Girl stories!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Rachel finally gets to say “WHAT?!,” we examine three variations on the Silver Age, Twin Peaks is reality TV, we can’t believe you hired Hitler, Angel is not Batman, even the most sympathetic Xavier is still pretty creepy, Cyclops has a good day, Marvel Girl is not going to throw a dinosaur for you, Iceman is the Troy Barnes of the X-Men, and we say a fond farewell to the Silver Age.
X-Plained:
The X-Axis
X-Men: Children of the Atom
Hard-sell noir
How to party like it’s sometime between 1986 and 1991, as filtered through 1999
The perils of over-referencing
Why Marvel is in the Tommy Westphall Universe
The worst guidance counselor ever
Villain speeches
X-Men: First Class (but not that one)
Fun, and several places to find it
Angst-free X-Men
Gender politics of superheroism
X-Men: Season One
Teenagers
The solution to the Silver-Age-Jean Grey problem
Why Iceman matters
The Silver Age cram book
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which Rachel and Chris X-plain three cartoons and track a disagreement to its source; Gambit is definitely the worst person you know; Broadcasting Standards and Practices is tired of your death ceremonies; Storm doesn’t have an inside voice; and we finally get around to mentioning that one dude with the claws.
X-Plained:
Weaponized creepiness
The evolution (and Evolution) of X-Toons
Why you hate Cyclops (and Rachel doesn’t)
Adaptation overload
Broadcast standards, practices, and laser rifles
How to order pizza like a weather goddess
A paramilitary after-school club
G-Rated Wolverine
Comics based on cartoons based on comics
Morph
The Batman Standard
The Wolverine and the X-Men trifecta of perfection
Why the Mojoverse works better on TV
Dazzler’s secret second job
Basic jacketry
CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel mentions that Morph’s first comics appearance is in Exiles. It’s not: he’s in Age of Apocalypse. Mea culpa.
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
In which we introduce the villains of the Silver Age: Magneto makes some valid points, Mastermind is a Nice Guy of OkCupid, the Scarlet Witch predicts Cat Breading, the Trasks should really have known better, and the Comics Code Authority is down with pterosaurs.
X-Plained:
Common characteristics of enduring X-villains
Mutant identity politics and moral relativism
Context-agnostic Juggernaut flashbacks
An unorthodox approach to anthropology
Cyclops’s greatest diplomatic achievement
Silver-Age haberdashery
An innovative modification to vampire mythology
Cultural assimilation
The propaganda-and-sweater-vest machine
Hex bolts
Supplemental reading
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All
Apr 13, 2014
In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.
X-Plained:
Mutant genetics and taxonomy
Practical semantics of “X-Men”
Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
The miracle of comic-book magnetism
A problematic analogy
X-books for beginners
Snow grenades
The word “yaybo”
The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
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