Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

Puzzle or Mystery? Rediscovering God Beyond Easy Answers, #594 Jan 26, 2026

What if your relationship with God didn't start with how broken you are—but with how beloved you are?

This week, Juli is joined by Marty Solomon, host of the BEMA Podcast, to explore the difference between our Western desire to have all the answers and the Bible's invitation to mystery, curiosity, and wonder. They talk about how systematic theology can both help and hinder our faith, and why being "beloved" is more foundational than being "right."

This conversation reframes how we see our humanity in light of God's steadfast love—not as a problem to fix, but as a relationship to steward.

Guest: Marty Solomon

Preorder Marty's new book, The Gospel of Being Human: How Asking Better Questions of the Bible Reveals Who We Are

Listen to The BEMA Podcast (we recommend starting with Season 1)

Follow Marty Solomon at @marty_solomon

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

3 Things Christians Do That Shut Down Healing After Betrayal, #593 Jan 19, 2026

If you're trying to heal after betrayal, you may be doing everything you were taught to do—and still feel stuck.

Sometimes we unintentionally sabotage our own healing—all in the name of love and forgiveness. Instead of feeling better, you end up feeling silenced, unsafe, and confused about why healing hasn't happened.

Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson joins Juli to share four necessary phases of healing, and three common mistakes that actually shut it down. With clinical insight and biblical wisdom, this conversation will help you move forward with strength and hope.

Guest: Tammy Gustafson, LPC

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal (comes out Jan. 27)

Register for The Betrayal Healing Conference, January 26-30. (It's online and free.)

Take the Betrayal Healing Quiz to find what phase of the journey you're in.

Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me?

Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal?

Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage by Drs. Chuck and Mike Misja (for the betrayed spouse who stays in a marriage even though their spouse is not doing the work needed to heal)

Follow Tammy at @tammylgustafson

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Masturbation: The No. 1 Question You're Asking Us, #407 Jan 12, 2026

There's more to the masturbation conversation than simply "right" or "wrong." Could it be an issue of spiritual maturity for some of us—whether we're married or single? Can it be used in a healthy way in marriage? Join us to have your thinking challenged!

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Tell us what you thought of this conversation! Leave a rating & review,

Share this episode.

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Follow-up resources:

Masturbation: Is It Wrong? (Juli's blog)

What's OK in the Bedroom? (Juli's blog)

Is Masturbation a Sin? You May Be Asking the Wrong Question (Juli's blog)

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

The Love Language that Matters Most with Dr. Gary Chapman, #592 Jan 05, 2026

What if knowing your loved one's love language isn't enough?

Kicking off this new year, Juli sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman to unpack how it is that we can know each other's love language and still feel disconnected.

Whether you're married, parenting, or navigating close friendships, this episode will challenge you to love more intentionally—and more effectively.

Guest: Dr. Gary Chapman

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

Pre-order The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman, Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

Sex, Cancel Culture, and the Church: How to Pursue Unity When we Disagree, #520 Dec 29, 2025

As we wrap up 2025, this is the conversation God put on Juli's heart.

Juli and Hannah sit down to talk about how we love each other when we disagree. This conversation invites you to rethink how you engage in tough conversations and what it really means to contend for truth with love.

Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 31st, your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar—up to $70,000.

Follow-up Resources:

Until Unity by Francis Chan

Q&A: How do you love people you disagree with?

How We Love Each Other by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Unpacking Emotional Baggage (One of Our Most Popular 2025 Episodes), #568 Dec 22, 2025

Grab your Java for one of our most popular episodes of 2025! This conversation with Dr. Dan Allender helped us understand why the stuff we haven't dealt with from childhood eventually shows up—right in the middle of our relationships.

Listen in to find out why you must be willing to explore your own story in order to create safety and repair what's broken.

Guest: Dr. Dan Allender

Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources:

The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dr. Dan Allender

Follow Dr. Dan at @danballender

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Raising Gender-Confident Kids, #591 Dec 15, 2025

How do you raise kids who feel grounded in their God-given identity in a world of confusing messages about gender?

Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers join Juli to unpack how to guide youg people with truth, curiosity, and presence. You'll hear how to lay the foundations of identity, respond to cultural pressures, and raise confident boys and girls.

Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or mentor, this conversation offers you practical tools and biblical insight for today's tough questions.

Guests: Dr. Kathy Koch and Dr. Jeff Myers

Give to Authentic Intimacy today and your gift will be matched dollar-for-dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up resoures:

Get your free book at genderconfidentkids.com

Follow Summit Minstrieds at @Summitmn

Follow Dr. Kathy Koch at @celebratekidsinc

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

A New Wave of Romance Novels (& Why Women Can't Put Them Down), #590 Dec 08, 2025

Women everywhere are turning to spicy romance novels to escape stress, overwhelm, and the monotony of everyday life. Today, Juli talks about why these trending titles feel so intoxicating, how they subtly shape our expectations of intimacy, and why they often leave us feeling disconnected from real relationships.

Instead of escaping into fictional worlds, hear how you can rediscover the adventure and connection God designed for real life.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Give to Authentic Intimacy today! Between now and January 1st, your gift to Authentic Intimacy will be matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000.

Follow-up Resources:

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desire? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Masturbation: Is It Wrong? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Confessions of a Former Erotica Author by Francine Rivers (blog)

Java with Juli #579: Good Girls, Bad Books: Erotica in Young Adult Fiction?

Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Resources quoted in this episode:

The Rise of Smut: How TikTok is reviving romance literature.

Thanks to BookTok, Barnes & Noble is opening more stores than ever.

More than Mommy Porn: Why I read smut

Feeling Distant? How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage, #589 Dec 01, 2025

We're diving into the often overlooked side of sexual intimacy: emotional connection in marriage. Juli and guest Gary Thomas unpack three building blocks of emotional intimacy—emotional availability, sensitive responsiveness, and trust. From understanding male and female brain chemistry to tips on daily connection habits, this conversation gives you tangible ways to create a stronger, healthier marriage.

Guest: Gary Thomas

Give to Authentic Intimacy today—every gift matched dollar for dollar up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources

Safe Haven Marriage by Arch Hart and Sharon May

A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas

Follow Gary Thomas at @garythomasbooks

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Have You Given Up on Sexual Pleasure?, #390 Nov 24, 2025

What if sexual intimacy became something you look forward to, instead of something you brace yourself for?

Juli sits down with sex therapist Debra Taylor to talk about what we've learned about women's sexuality over the last 30 years. They dive into the myths that still plague marriages, the real factors shaping women's sexual desire, why exhaustion is often the #1 barrier to intimacy, and how couples can pursue healing, connection, and a more meaningful sex life—especially when trauma or mismatched desire is part of the story.

Guest: Dr. Debra Taylor

Giving Tuesday is next week—your gift will be matched, dollar for dollar, up to $70,000!

Follow-up Resources:

The Secrets of Eve by Arch Hart, Debra Taylor, Catherine Hart Weber

Five Things You Need To Know About Women, Orgasm, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

A Secret for the Guys by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Holiday Peace 101: How to Be Unoffendable, #588 Nov 17, 2025

The holidays should bring peace. Instead, they often bring tension, unresolved hurt, and that one person who knows how to get under your skin.

Today, Juli sits down with author and radio host Brant Hansen to talk about what it means to be "unoffendable"—especially when you're passing the mashed potatoes to someone you struggle to forgive.

Guest: Brant Hansen

Follow-up Resources:

Unoffendable by Brant Hansen

How to Have Tough Conversations by Juli Slattery (blog)

When Your Adult Child Makes Choices You Disagree With by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Brant Hansen at @branthansen

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

What's Love Poetry Doing in the Bible? (Making Sense of Song of Songs), #587 Nov 10, 2025

Lips that drip liquid myrrh, cheeks like beds of spices . . . what on earth is happening here? This week, we're making sense of the metaphors in Song of Songs. Find out how this bizarre (to us) love poetry shows us that God is wholeheartedly, enthusiastically, and unequivocally in favor of out-of-this-world sexual pleasure in marriage.

Guest: Dr. Sandra Glahn

If you enjoyed this conversation, leave us a rating and review in your podcast app.

Follow-up Resources:

What If I Hate Sex? by Juli Slattery (blog)

How to Go from Demand and "Duty Sex" to True Sexual Intimacy by Juli Slattery (blog)

Pre-order the Lifeway CSB Women's Study Bible (with contributions by Dr. Glahn)

Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love are You Making? with Juli Slattery & Linda Dillow (a 12-week study through the Song of Songs)

Follow Dr. Glahn @sandraglahnauthor

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Don't Try This Alone with Toni Collier, #586 Nov 03, 2025

If you've ever felt unseen, disconnected, or tired of pretending you're okay, this episode is for you.

This week, author and speaker Toni Collier shares how healing begins when we stop hiding and start letting others in. Through her own story of heartbreak and redemption, you'll hear encouragement and practical wisdom on finding safe people, breaking toxic patterns, and walking with God and others toward healing.

Guest: Toni Collier

Follow-up Resources:

Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain by Toni Collier

God's Healing Stinks by Juli Slattery (blog)

Why Is Healing So Hard by Juli Slattery (blog)

Q&A: How do I get past my sexual shame? (video)

Follow Toni Collier @tonijcollier

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Should Christians Use Birth Control?, #585 Oct 27, 2025

This one's a hot topic—and we know it. 🔥

Juli sits down with Dr. Christopher West to talk about birth control, self-control, and God's design for our bodies. Whether you've wrestled with this teaching or never thought twice about it, this conversation invites you to pause, listen, and seek truth with us.

Guest: Dr. Christopher West

Follow-up Resources:

Our Bodies Tell God's Story by Dr. Christopher West

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Follow Christopher West at @cwestofficial

Does God Care if You Get Botox?, #584 Oct 20, 2025

As Jesus followers, is it okay that we want to look younger, thinner, and prettier?

We live in a world obsessed with appearances. Everywhere you look, someone's getting fillers, enhancements, or posting a "perfect" version of themselves online. In this episode, Juli and Hannah take an honest look at these questions—not to hand out a new list of rules, but to invite you into a bigger story.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

If you enjoyed this conversation, leave us a rating and review in your podcast app.

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy @authenticintimacy

Find more resources at www.authenticintimacy.com

When You Want Sex but Your Spouse Doesn't, #294 Oct 13, 2025

Ever feel like you're the only one in your marriage who wants to have sex?

In most marriages, there is typically one partner with a higher sex drive—and that person is usually trying to convince the other to have more sex. In this episode, Juli and Dr. Corey Allan talk about how to move beyond "I have a need, and you have an obligation" to real sexual intimacy.

Guest: Dr. Corey Allan

Leave us a rating & review in your favorite podcast app.

Follow-Up Resources:

God, Sex & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Sexy Marriage Radio with Dr. Corey Allan

Follow Dr. Corey at @sexymarriageradio

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Real Stories of Women in the Bible (Have We Been Reading Them Wrong?), #583 Oct 06, 2025

Don't miss your chance to win $200! Take the Java with Juli Survey.

In this episode, we uncover the real stories of women in the Bible who have been misunderstood, silenced, or abused—and discover the God who saw them. From Bathsheba to Tamar to the woman at the well, we revisit stories where we have blamed or shamed women, when in fact scripture points to God's compassion, justice, and redemption.

⚠️ This episode mentions rape. Please take care when listening.

Guest: Dr. Sandra Glahn

Follow-up resources:

Vindicating the Vixens by Dr. Sandra Glahn

Follow Dr. Glahn on IG @sandraglahnauthor

Leave us a rating & review in your favorite podcast app

Candid Answers to Questions About Sex & Being Single, #338 Sep 29, 2025

Instead of shutting it down, what if you could meet your needs for touch, intimacy, and opposite-sex friendships in ways that honor your sexuality? (Spoiler alert: you can.)

If you've wrestled with desire, boundaries, or shame, this candid conversation will help you see the God-given purpose of your sexuality—even when you're single.

P.S. This is one you'll want to share with your single friends.

Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau

Don't miss your chance to win a $200 gift card: take the Java with Juli Survey.

Follow-up Resources:

Single & Sexually Whole: Soulfully Celebrating the Dance of the Sexes by Dr. Doug Rosenau

Sex & the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery

Surviving the Unthinkable: Rebuilding My Life After Trauma and Loss, #582 Sep 22, 2025

In this episode, author Kimberly Haar opens up about surviving a violent abduction and assault at the hands of her ex-husband. With unflinching honesty, she recounts the night her world shattered—and how faith, forgiveness, and Christian therapy helped her rebuild her life.

Guest: Kimberly Haar

Take our Java with Juli survey and enter to win $200! 🎉

Follow-up Resources:

Healing from Life's Deepest Hurts by Kimberly Haar

Raising Wise Kids in a Sexually Broken World, #581 Sep 15, 2025

Are you teaching your kids to follow Jesus—or to just follow the rules?

In this episode, Juli sits down with Matt & Laurie Krieg to talk about how to give our kids a gospel-centered worldview. From early conversations about sexuality and gender to equipping them for a sexually broken world, you'll get practical, faith-filled guidance to help you raise resilient, Christ-focused kids.

Guests: Matt & Laurie Krieg

Take the Java with Juli Listener Survey to get a FREE Building Intimacy with God devotional and be entered to win a $200 VISA gift card!

Follow-up resources:

Watch Christian Sexuality: Raising Kids hosted by Laurie Krieg

Preorder Raising Wise Kids in a Sexually Broken World by Laurie Krieg

Get Protect Young Eyes, the tool Matt & Laurie mentioned to help protect your kids online.

How To Talk to Your Husband (When All You Want To Do Is Yell at Him), #580 Sep 08, 2025

How do you speak life to your husband when all you want to do is yell at him?

Juli sits down for a candid conversation with author Ann Wilson about the transformative power of our words. Hear how Ann discovered that her (helpful!) criticism, even her subtle "sophisticated nagging," wasn't helping her husband at all—in fact, it was hurting both of them.

With real-life stories and practical wisdom, this conversation proves that a few well-chosen words can transform a marriage.

Guest: Ann Wilson (with Dave Wilson)

Online Book Studies close soon—grab your spot today!

We're hiring! Check out our open position.

Pick up your copy of How To Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want To Do Is Yell at Him by Ann Wilson

Java with Juli #386 What's the Secret to Getting the Marriage You Want? Go Vertical with Dave & Ann Wilson (a members-only resource)

Sex Therapy: What Is It, and Why Should You Go?, #324 Sep 01, 2025

If you struggle with low desire, pain during sex, or difficulty with orgasm and don't know where to go for help, this week's Java with Juli is for you! Juli sits down with certified sex therapist Josh Spurlock to explore what Christian sex therapy really is—and what it isn't.

Josh explains the difference between sex therapy and traditional counseling, the most common challenges he helps couples overcome, and why having a therapist who respects God's design for sexuality matters.

From dispelling myths like "sex is supposed to hurt" to offering hope that orgasm is possible for nearly every woman, this conversation brings biblical wisdom and practical help to some of the most sensitive places in your marriage.

"I wish I would've known this 20 years ago" doesn't have to be your story. Listen in!

Guest: Josh Spurlock, LPC, CST

Online Book Studies are open. Join one today!

Find a Christian sex therapist at MyCounselor.Online.

Why Telling Your Story is Complex, Courageous and Healing, #353 Aug 25, 2025

The power of abuse lies in secrecy. The power of healing begins with telling.

In this episode, Tim Hein shares his story of surviving childhood sexual abuse and the journey of healing. From the courage it takes to break the silence, to the importance of being believed, to the steps of recovery that lead to restoration, Tim offers raw honesty and hard-earned wisdom. He reflects on how trauma shaped his life, marriage, and faith—and how choosing to tell your story is ultimately an act of self-love and grace.

This hopeful conversation offers encouragement for survivors and practical insight for those who walk alongside them.

Guest: Tim Hein

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

Follow us or leave us a rating & review in your favorite podcast app.

Follow-Up Resources:

Understanding Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Ministry Leaders and Survivors by Tim Hein

Blog: God's Healing Stinks by Dr. Juli Slattery

Video Q&A: Past sexual trauma keeps me from enjoying sex. Is there hope that I can heal?

Blog: How to Choose a Wise Counselor by Dr. Juli Slattery

Good Girls, Bad Books: Erotica in Young Adult Fiction?, #579 Aug 18, 2025

Juli and her guests explore the infiltration of erotica and LGBTQ themes into young adult fiction. From board books to bestselling novels, today's literature isn't what it used to be—and parents are the last to know.

You'll hear stories from the frontlines and get practical tools to help you navigate today's fiction. Whether you're raising toddlers or talking with teens, this is a conversation every parent, teacher, and youth leader needs to hear.

Guests: Greta Eskridge and Korrie Johnson

Follow-Up Resources:

It's Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children and Teens Develop Sexual Integrity by Greta Eskridge

Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman's Heart by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dannah Gresh

What Your Husband Wishes You Knew About Sex, #126 Aug 11, 2025

Have you ever wanted to get inside the mind of your man–just for a day? Now's your chance! Juli and Hannah sit down with pastor and author Chip Ingram to find out what husbands wish their wives knew about sex.

From why men fear rejection more than they let on, to how wives misunderstand their husbands' need for connection, this conversation is filled with eye-opening insight and practical wisdom.

Guest: Chip Ingram, Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Follow us in your favorite podcast app.

Join an online book study today!

Resources:

God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Blog: Struggling with Sexual Intimacy? You Might Need a "Sex Break"

Blog: Are You Entitled to "Good" Sex in Marriage?

Blog: 5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Porn Problem

Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Is Looking at Porn?

Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me?

Find more resources at www.authenticintimacy.com

Follow us on social media at @authenticintimacy