Stay ConnectedTwo bands who span the Atlantic, having a chat across the planet. Drafting jams from random challenges, fantastic banter while we’re at it. So just relax and watch our antics; it’s the pan-Atlantic Jam Mechanics
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt Johnston from The Narcissist Cookbook and Bug from Bug Hunter. Each week we’ll take on songwriting challenges and present our finished “demo” after a few hour break.
Copyright: © Jam Mechanics
The Wiki'd Witch has retired. Season 4 closes with a look back at the audience rankings and questions, as well as a little surprise at the end!
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
The Narcissist Cookbook
Oh That? That's Episode 10 of szn 4 of Jam Mechanics, Baby. We finish out the season by defying all expectations and proving our worst enemies wrong
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
and our brand-new discord is here
and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc!
Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: The Storm
Prompt Page: Jester --> Punch and Judy --> The Devil
Lyrics:
I ain't scared of The Devil
I don't believe in Bad Luck
They tried their best to convince me
but the grift never stuck
Because the Devil's just Thunder
When you hear it you hide
its just the sound it makes
The Danger outside
Go to bed, go to bed, little darling rest your head
you are safe from the storm while you sleep
The crashes you hear, so far off, nowhere near
cannot hurt you when you sit with me
When I was young, just a kid, my own mother told me this
that storms were the gods in a fight
I imagined the battle, the roar and the rattle,
was the lord keeping watching in the night
So I ain't scared of The Devil
I don't believe in tall tales
She tried her best to convince me
that's where everyone fails
Because the Devil's just Thunder
When you hear it you hide
its just the sound it makes
The Danger outside
So go to bed, go to bed, little darling rest your head
its not God who keeps watch over us
Its the roof that we built, its your pillows and quilt
that your mother and I put our trust
we're cursed by a god with illusion of choice
when survival depends on the one to destroy
and we're judged as a sinner as if we could stop but
I will put you in the crib before I put you in the coffin
so I ain't scared of The Devil
I don't believe he exists
But someone had to invent him
and I am damn scared of them
So don't go out in The Storm, love
Not because of the noise
The thunder is harmless
It's only the voice
So don't go out in The Storm, love
Not because of the noise
The thunder is harmless
The Devil's their voice
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: The Vulgar Tongue
Prompt Page: June Gloom --> Colloquialism --> Slang
Lyrics:
they hear us coming but they don't know where we're coming from
they see us perching at the edge of the town
we talk in circles and we gabble in tongues
and we crow like the birds
on the slope of the church
picking eyes out of fresh cadavers
we're c c coming we're c c coming oh
we are the very dregs, that leaked onto your kitchen floor from a hole at the bottom of the barrel
we are the nameless things that sing you to a restless sleep crouching at the outside of your window
we are the urges you can't purge, the easy lies you tell, the flies that gather in the eyes of cattle
we are the thoughts you bat away you can't ignore, like the rotten tooth you tongue and dig around in when you're bored
and we're coming
(we're c c coming oh we're c c comin oh)
solo
they hear us coming but they don't know where we're coming from
they think they're safe if they plug up their ears
but there's a backdoor to every heart
and we knock just to check
if it could take a kick
and we paint a red cross on the timber
we're c c coming we're c c coming oh
you are the favourite children, lauded above all, the shining sceptre at the centre of creation
you are a princess, just a grotesque mess of senses, you're an empty car just begging to be driven
can you imagine what's like to be the bedrock of the world, to realise your purpose is just to be stepped on
well you know what, don't you worry bout it child - you hear that knock? soon you won't have to imagine
we're coming
Episode 9 won't disappoint you like a Big Boy Yoda. We talk brushes with fame and our biggest bombs before both writing bangers
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
and our brand-new discord is here
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
--Bug's Song--
Title: Just Because
Prompt Page: San Diego Comic-con --> San Diego Pride --> June Gloom
Lyrics:
There's no funeral, there's no wedding
it's just a random weekend in February
but the gang's all here and ready to hang out
This ain't sick leave, this ain't work-from-home
this is pure shit, uncut PTO
3 full days, no chores, no plans somehow
The kids grew up and all moved out but everyone's back in town...
Just Because! We put it on the Calendar
Just Because! we liked the way it sounds and we're
just some buds travellin to hang around Just Because...
And just because is as good as any reason
Because Just Because just makes it easy
Just believe it does, Just Because
It's not a diet, or a lifestyle
its just a little unexpected but I thought I'd try it
my friends are looking at me like they're shocked
It's not a burger, it's not nuggies
It's not either of the two foods you'd expect of me
Its a brand new side of the menu that I've unlocked
The kid's grown up his palette, I have just ordered a salad...
Just Because! I'm monchin' on a salad here
Just Because! I liked the way it sounds and we're
Just some buds taken on the salad bar Just Because
And just because is as good as any reason
Because Just Because just makes it easy
Just believe it does, Just Because
I can tell ya something if ya say I never told ya
The secret is the vinegar, your ears are baking soda
I need to keep it quiet if you lean a little closer
The only thing that's keepin ya from doin' what you're doin'
is often not enough to stop ya if you wanna do it
It doesn't take much to get the motivated movin'
you may have thought you hit your limit
but here's two words to fix it:
Just Because! we're having such a better year
Just Because! we liked the way it sounds and we're
just some buds finding out the power of Just Because
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: Criss-Cross Applesauce
Prompt Page: Rube Goldberg-> Boob McNutt -> Jester (via Buffoonish)
Lyrics:
you might be guided by the cards
or the full moon's gravity
pick a path by plotting stars
or the patterns in the leaves
add up numbers in the bible
til you land on sum you like
if you're really having trouble
ask your friends for some advice
feed a universe of data
to a planet-sized machine
maybe god will call back later
within 7 working weeks
baby throw yourself at anything
at anyone at all
to get the sense that this direction you are stumbling in's the one that leads you home
but if the cards are shuffled badly
and the moon pulls only tides
and the leaves clump all together
and the stars slip out of line
and the bible's numbers add up to
42069
and your friends suggestions get you guessing they're out of their minds
if the algorithm feeds you only ads and right wing news
if god's call center's automated
and no one puts you through
baby throw yourself a party
invite everyone you know
sit beside them criss-cross applesauce, this chaos is the closest thing to home
grab yourself a cushion make yourself as comfortable
as the uncarpeted kitchen floor allows
friends, i love you endlessly but you would never know
cause I never say that sort of thing out loud
above us see the sky fissures and rends itself apart
while beneath us magma boils at the core
and in between this room of us, the circle will break only once
the last of us has fallen to the sword
What up Girl! We both come back from our holiday break with EXCELLENT stories from home and no, we won't apologize.
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
and our brand-new discord is here
and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc!
Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: Oops!
Prompt Page: Robotic Surgery --> Waldo (short story) --> Rube Goldberg
Lyrics:
Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my bad
yikes, I screwed up, whoops, I flubbed that
on your left, no right, frick! dammit
I get those mixed up by habit
Franz Ferdinand, shot in the head
Basic ass duke reppin' simple cause and effect
I'm like if Dr Frankenstein and Rueben Goldberg ever met
killed by my creation but with 20 extra steps
Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my bad
yikes, I screwed up, whoops, I flubbed that
on your left, no right, frick! dammit
I get those mixed up by habit
Someday I'll get out of my way
Someday I'll get out of my way
Sometimes the glass is half full but it was empty when you left it
sometimes your mom's boyfriend's dentures are at the bottom of your beverage
and when a pessimist would spit it up and curse his rotten luck
the desperate would suck it up and plug his nose and chug
Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my oops
yikes, I oops up, whoops, I flubbed that
on your left, oops right, frick! dammit
I get those mixed up by habit
Someday I'll get out of my way
Someday I'll get out of my way
Another Domino! fallin while you're walking away
Another Domino! falls and you just call it a game
Another Domino! Falls and it was never the same
Another Domino! Falls And you're absolved of the blame
Oops, I'm sorry, oops my oops my bad
oops you, I screwed oops, whoops, I oops
on your left oops, no oops, I...
I get those mixed up!
I said: Oops, I'm oops my fault my bad, my oops
yikes screwed up oops I flubbed that
on your oops, whoops oops, frick, dammit
I get oops oops oops oops dammit
Someday I'll get out of my way
Someday I'll get out of my way
Someday I'll get out of my own way (oops)
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: JMCC
Prompt Page: Happy Days -> George Lucas -> San Diego Comic-con
Lyrics:
let's go to jam mechanic comic con
let's go to jam mechanic comic con
meet me in gary Indiana
Bring the hydra and alpaca
let's go to jam mechanic comic con it's where we belong
You'll see cowboys and vampires
Socialist mayors
Board games, puppets and smoke detectors
A liberal kitty and a family dog
Getting their shit rocked by ichard noir
AND IF YOU GET HUNGRY WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED
An army of dead dads eating popcorn
I think curdled milkteeth is what happened to john
Cthulhu stuffing his mouth with some balls
Shimmy to the left cause captain stanley's got a gun
LET'S GO TO JAM MECHANIC COMIC CON
...
AND AFTER DARKKKK
Amelia earhart's doing white lines
With a guy in the corner looks a little like a lion
Agamemnon's laying pipe but he's just warming up
Here's you at a party with my uncle in a headlock
An angel and a devil are making out hard
Odin's in the garbage patch getting pardoned
Someone's fur prince got stuck in cement
The angel and the devil are making out again
LET'S GO TO JAM MECHANIC COMIC CON
oh and wikipede is also here
They Jam now? They Jam now! Listen to find out who gets got (Hint: It's not Jason). We talk Batman vs Darth Vader and confidently make up facts about robots
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
and our brand-new discord is here
and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc!
Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: High Note
Prompt Page: Anachronism -> Retcon -> Happy Days #Chuck Cunningham Syndrome
Lyrics:
Going out on a high note, callin' it quits
don't wait for the moment we wish that we did
they'll be sad that its over (but glad it exists)
don't get caught hanging on when the alternative is
Someone come get your boy wayne gretzky
his grasp on fractions is at best a bit sketchy
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take?
Can I see your calculator, Wayne?
if you don't shoot you can't miss, can't mess up
let them think you're the best of what you've done
not what you'll do when you've got nothing left to prove
just quit while you're ahead
[Chorus]
Maybe we should've cut the mics at the first standing ovation
should've packed away our picnics before the end of the parade
cuz when you watch it peter out and now the band has long since passed
the confetti on the ground begins to look a lot like trash
if the magic's in the middle it means you went a bit too far
lets go home at intermission, leave the people wanting more
But will they notice you're missing? will they notice you're gone
will they send out a search party or convince themselves you're not
will they notice you're missing? will they notice you're gone?
everyone reminisces whether you like it or not
whether you're ready or not
Going out on a high note, callin' it quits
don't wait for the moment we wish that we did
they'll be sad that its over (but glad it exists)
don't get caught hanging on when the alternative is
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: Stones
Prompt Page: Immunotherapy -> Organ Transplantation -> Robotic Surgery
Lyrics:
hey
can you hear me
I've been waiting for your call
there is nothing on this rock and
I am slowly breaking down
I don't think you
ever taught me
how to fix these faulty things
Now I am rusting
I'm eroding
I am code upon a screen
Somewhere 40 million miles from here
This planet, barren and lonely
This body, weathered and dull
This mission barely makes sense to me
Guess I'll just check the manual
These arms extending out forward
Reaching for something unknown
Waving up at a blue dot in the sky
Hey guys am I ever coming home?
hey
is it okay
if I miss you,
I don't want you to feel like I'm a burden
when I call you just to talk
I am pulling at my wires
trying to find what makes me tick
figure I might plug the right thing into the right place by mistake
And floating in the burnt red air
Somewhere 40 million miles from here
That planet, emerald and sapphire
This body, shiny and new
This mission finally over and
I rest in the cold light of the moon
These tracks extending out backward
Show all the places I've gone
But each hill's the same as the last one
Hey guys am I ever coming home
This planet, barren and lonely
This body, weathered and dull
This mission barely makes sense to me
There must be something I'm missing
One last unoverturned stone
Hey guys am I ever coming home?
The world will never be the same after this episode. We're here to talk shop and hawk sauce in the 6th episode of szn 4.
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
and our brand-new discord is here
and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc!
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: Flattering!
Prompt Page: Poison Ivy -> Allergy -> Immunotherapy
Lyrics:
I don't begrudge flat-earthers cuz I think that they're crazy or insane its just
a pity for their party thats based purely on their laziness
cause there's mountains of evidence that help make it clear
that our planet's a shape and that shape is a sphere
and I fear that insisting we've already won
will prevent us from doing whats yet to be done
cause I have a dream and I need you to get with it
earth isn't flat and if you, too, are sick of it
Join Us, Help Us, make coins and coasters jealous
The earth isn't flat (yeah, you don't have to tell us)
When there's no way, here's our will:
we won't die on this hill
We're not Flat Earthers... we're earth-flatteners
we'll get much further than that tin foil hat of yours
We work all day to achieve the great flattening
a pancake shape is a bit more... Flattering!
There's no subscription fees, neither monthly nor annual
just one flat rate and we hand you the manual
we'll start with the mountains 'cause how could we not
when the low-hanging fruit is the highest of rocks
once we're smooth as a cue ball we'll need to start kneeding
then plan the next steps at the quarterly meeting
cause I have a dream and now you're in the thick of it
the earth isn't flat and we're all just plane sick of it
[Chorus]
We work all day to achieve the great flattening
a pancake shape is a bit more... Flattering!
and faith can move mountains but damn, when I'm done with 'em
moles will look down on the ground that's become of them
When you had a dream and no one understood it
to get back at all who have told you you couldn't
Join us, Help us, we employ the overzealous
The earth isn't flat yet, and damn does that compel us
head to china, grab your chisel and I will meet you in the middle
we're not flat-earthers, we're earth flatteners...
I have a dream, but whether its happening
you all believed, and damn is it... Flattering!
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: Someone's Gonna Change The World
Prompt Page: War on Terror -> Misnomer -> Anachronism
Lyrics:
open up the curtains let the darkness in
the emperor expired in his bed
and now the power vacuum that was left by him
and filling in the air above our heads
Gunships littering in the sky
Fuel cells glittering like diamonds
And all us ordinary folk
Gathering below
Oh oh oh
And we've got fire in our eyes
Up there someone's gonna change the world
But the world down here's in short supply
Who do you expect us to rise up against?
The armies or the admirals or the gods?
Might as well suggest we turn the river running through the town back on itself
and flood the mountain tops
Mainsails blocking out the moon
Spent shells falling like a heavy rain
And all us ordinary folk
Gathering below
Oh oh oh
And we've got fire in our eyes
Up there someone's gonna change the world
But the world down here's in short supply
At night I dream like everybody dreams
I wake up I've forgotten what I've seen
No matter who prevails up there above
The meat down here still rots, and the air still tastes the same
Tomorrow there'll be champagne for the rich
But the only thing that trickles down is piss
You could cut the head off every king
The meat down here still rots, and the air still tastes the same
[Chorus]
This is our most unhinged ep 5 yet. We talk superpowers, dark web librarians, and how to recognize when your favorite podcast is incapable of putting out a bad episode.
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos: Bandcamp or website
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
-- SPOILERS BELOW --
--Bug's Song--
Title: Richard Noir
Prompt: Structural Integrity and Failure -> 9/11 -> The War on Terror
Lyrics:
The names ichard, like Richard with No R
I was 2 minutes from flying the coop when
some little bird wanders in out the rain
looking for help
She goes on and on about a strange man
that's popped up in her families neighborhood
she's clearly traveled a long ways for my help
I can tell from her plumage she ain't from 'round here
Whats a rural bird doing so far from home
I ain't got time for bird-house calls
I've never been an early bird but even I know that no good
ever comes from staying out this late
But then she drops the crucial detail that stops me in my tracks
"he ain't moved in a week"
hmm, that is interesting. Anyone who knows anything about man
knows that they are fidgety and quick -- always on the move
Maybe its time to see what happens when this unstoppable force
meets an immovable object
So me and the little bird fly back to her home in the sticks
little farm just west of cityville and we set up an old-fashioned stake out
And sure as sunshine, this ain't no wild goose chase
Theres a man towering over the corn field
Her first instinct is to bury her head in the dirt but
I've crapped on enough statues to know that nothing was ever
gonna get this beast to give chase
That's a scare crow, ya scared crow.
tell your scared folks to be scared no more
this rare foe couldn't hurt a sparrow, ya know?
With that I left her in the rain,
another mystery solved
She shouts after me:
How can I ever repay you, Richard??
I say: It's Ichard, Noir!
-- Matt's Song --
Title: Poison Ivy
Prompt: Magia Naturalis -> Poison -> Poison Ivy
Lyrics:
So you're walking through the woods in the US of A
Got your booty shorts on like you do every day
You get your bare feet rocking, letting the dogs hang out
You got your shirt off too cause it's 100 degrees
Berry picking cause you got a hunger to feed
this is what being free is all about
You're kicking through the forest out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If you see three leaves better let it be
cause it's poison ivy
So you're hiking through Australia to a beauty spot
You ain't wearing nothing but your booty shorts
Just you and the sand and the sun on the back of your neck
When out of the corner of your eye
You see a little windy cunt, a slithering guy
You can cross his path or you can turn around and head back
You're kicking through the outback out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If the red touches yella, it'll kill a fella
That's a fackin coral snake
So you're picking through the wreckage of humanity's hubris
You've found a stockpile of salt and canned food
Filling your pockets as much as your booty shorts will allow
Your saliva glands ache at the sight of this meal
When up the back of your neck runs a shivering thrill
There is something amiss, a presence malignant and foul
So you're kicking through the deadzone out on your own
If you remember one thing then remember this poem
If it bleeds black flies, best cover your eyes
If it smells like sulphur, don't let it touch ya
If it burns with cold fire, free your heart from desire
Those are lucifer's heralds
Baby it's as easy as 1 2 3
My mnemonics got you jogging all your memories
If you see three leaves better let it be
cause it's poison ivy
In episode 4 we drop all kinds of ancient knowledge and talk about our least-favorite airport
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
and our brand-new discord is here
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: How to Build a House
Prompt Page: Deep Sea Exploration -> Quenching -> Magia Naturalis
Lyrics:
I'm at the grocery store thumpin' every watermelon in the bin
Dunno what I'm listenin' for but I saw my father do it when I was a kid
He never taught me his tricks so its been hard
cause guess and check only goes so far
And now I have a watermelon of my own
So I'm gonna teach it everything I know
Like how to build a house, how to tie your sneakers
how to walk and talk, and when you gettem, how to brush your little teeth
and when you're wrong, how to say you're sorry
but this list is getting long so we can start it in the morning
when you're old enough to know it, your dad'll show you how
I'll teach you everything you need to know
How to Build A House
But I dunno how to build a house but I can teach ya
when ya need to lean on people and just ask someone for help
the best lesson, while you're malleable, is teaching you how valuable
it is to say: "I don't have to do everything myself"
Because the ancient books of wisdom we're full of men who didn't listen
but they claimed to know how everything worked
they'd say the roof bones connected to the wall bones connected
to the floor bones connected to the Earth, and that's
[Chorus]
Cause you don't know shit kid!
But I can help ya with it
We should start with shapes and colors, how to recognize your mother
but I'm waiting and impatient and I really wanna skip to
How to Grow a Garden
I got some seeds to get you started
We can grow some watermelons, teach each other how to tell when
they are ready or be patient when they're still a bit too hard, and
I can't build a house, unless it is for birds
But I can try to build a home and get you ready for the world
And when you are, I hope you'll do it too
Because you wanna be like me and that is something I would do
When you're old enough to do it, you're gonna show 'em how
Teach 'em what I did and didn't know
How to Build a House
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: Four Stop Signs
Prompt Page: Whippits -> Biomaterial -> Structural Integrity and Failure
Lyrics:
there's a tree growing out of the gutter
in the house across from here
there are cracks in the brick of the big smoke stacks at the ironworks museum
there are bodies in this building's foundations, prophets sick with weather pains
press your ear to the doors or the hardwood floors that swell up when it rains
You are living in the arhythmical heart of the empire
And it's four stop signs at each intersection
And it's all uphill in every direction
Hear the groaning of the city, count the rings around its eyes
Find out how big animals like this can grow before they die
Harvest ivy from the ceiling, drink the damp right off the wall
Become a vessel for whatever's growing in the laundry pile
Scrawl your debut novel longhand on the hulls of subway trains
Serve single malts and double shots for half minimum wage
Get married in the basement, get tetanus for the high
Get sexy new infections just before they go worldwide
You are living in the arrhythmical heart of the empire
And it's four stop signs at each intersection
And it's all uphill in every direction
Kiss yourself goodnight and sneak out
When you're fast asleep and don't come back
Kiss yourself goodnight and sneak out
In Episode 3, we continue on our quest to finish the internet, 2 clicks at a time. We'll be radically honest here: you're going to love both of these songs
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
and our brand-new discord is here
and follow us on Instagram, YouTube, etc!
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: Bottle Rocket Astronaut
Prompt Page: 2 Fast, 2 Furious -> Nitrous oxide -> Whippits
Lyrics:
I am Burt (the Urban Bird), I've got one wing that doesn't work
But I've built a bottle rocket that'll lift me off the earth
shoot for the stars? that ain't me. I would settle for that tree
be like everybody else who can get up there easily
If you try to pin me down I will get up off the ground
I am a bottle rocket astronaut and all I wants the same thing
everybody's got already, make it look so easy
I've been gracious, I've been patient
natural selection never saw me comin', baby
I am Burt (the urban bird), I've got one wing that doesn't work
I've got whippets in my nest but if they ask, you never heard that
wanna raid me? they can try -- here's a slice of pumpkin pie
all the while I'm expanding to a full-fledged enterprise
See that goldfish in the birdbath? you get 3 hints to guess who did that
we put a turtle on a mailbox and hedgehog on a trashcan
and we've got funding coming through and big announcements coming soon
we pledge by 2026 we'll put a gopher on the roof
[Chorus]
I am a bottle rocket astronaut and all I wants the same thing
everybody's got already, make it look so easy
I've been gracious, I've been patient
and we've got charlie darwin freakin rollin' in his grave, eeey!
(Little critters in the sky)
(Little critters where they don't belong)
I am Burt (the urban bird), keep me down? it doesn't work.
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: A Mile and Change
Prompt Page: Weather Pains -> NOAA -> Deep Sea Exploration
Lyrics:
tie a cannonball to a fishing line
and toss it overboard
let it sink right to the bottom boys
and discover how deep it goes
and you can swear to the stars with a hand on your heart to
everybody when you get back home
that you touched the bottom of the ocean floor
I know you men, I know you well
When I look at you, I see myself
The coaxing waves, that beckon us in
We'd travel to the ends of the earth just to swing our feet over the edge
And when I sleep, I hear the call
The howling void, beneath our hull
Goes on forever, ha, that's so absurd
and we'll know better, by the time the sun sets we'll know for sure
tie a cannonball to a fishing line
and toss it overboard
let it sink right to the bottom boys
and discover how deep it goes
and you can swear to the stars with a hand on your heart to
everybody when you get back home
that you touched the bottom of the ocean floor
We let it drop, for a mile and change
We didn't talk, as the evening came
And we only stopped cause the line ran tight
Would have kept on going if we could but we got the sense we could have gone all night
And as the morning sun bore down on us
And the ocean yawned, indifferent
It goes on forever, and I haven't slept
Cause I dream of the beasts in the infinite deep and wake in a swear
we tied a cannonball to a fishing line
and tossed it overboard
let it sink over a mile and
and we discovered how deep this goes
now we can swear to the stars with a hand on our heart to
everybody when we get back home
that there isn't any bottom of the ocean floor
floooooooooooooooooooooooooooor
The Jam McAdemy is back in session and we continue our Jorney through Wikipedia. Our research for the songs in this episode is impeccable (trust the experts).
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, you can go to our Bandcamp or website to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
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-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
----Bug's Song-----
Title: The Expert
Prompt Page: Optical Illusion -> Phantom Limb -> Weather Pains
Lyrics:
I'm coughin' out the ash and smoke
to tell you that I told you so
Vesuvius was bound to blow
and I felt it in my joints and bones
I felt it in my joints and bones
They said "what makes you the expert?"
is it luck or something else?
Everybody gets hurt when they can't protect themselves
I told you once, I told you twice
i said you must take my advice
what makes me the expert? I was right
about the earthquakes, I was right about the floods
I saw that ice berg coming but the captain didn't budge
I had sensed the huge tsunami that would wipe us off the map
The aches across my body, the alerts before collapse
You're running out of time to listen
ignoring signs and superstitions
What makes you the expert?
Is it luck or something else?
Everybody gets hurt when they can't protect themselves
I told you once, I told you twice
i said you must take my advice
what makes me the expert? I was right
about the warning signs, the subtle ground that shifts
The change in your direction, slow as continental drift
So when you told me it was over The Red Cross was standing by
We had tents and foods and doctors, not a single person died
because when you are so prepared like me, the ground is always high
Your heart is never broken and your feet are always dry
Its not signs or superstition, sometimes its just repetition
that makes you the expert, its not luck, its something else
everybody gets hurt when they can't predict themselves
I told you once, I told you twice
i said you must take my advice
what makes me the expert? I was right
---- Matt's Song -----
Title: Shut Up and Drive
Prompt Page: 1984 -> Rat Torture -> 2 Fast, 2 Furious
Lyrics:
okay you guys have clearly got a history
is it just me or are the windows in here getting kinda misty
the vibes are not exactly off but they're not quite where i thought they'd be
i've got a funny feeling there is something you're not telling me
i don't want to assume, i wouldn't wanna pry
and i don't wanna be the thing that comes between both of you guys
i can leave, it seems to me there's still some meat left on these bones
you can chew each other out all you like when you're alone
shut up and drive
you guys have got a lot to say
but you don't wanna talk so guess you gotta play this game
i won't survive another ride with you i think i'd rather die
i mean it, man
so pull up or shut up and drive
okay, let's do a cold open and cut right to the chase
i've seen a million married couples with less chemistry than this
there are devils, demons, incubi whose blood don't run as hot
all the great lovers of fiction, they would kill for what you've got
but throw a punch and not a kiss, if that's what you have to do
keep your passion under wraps and act like everything is cool
keep pissing nitroglycerine, keep burning it for fuel
keep getting in his face like that, i know you like the view
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