IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Have You Ever Had A "Gut Punch" Realization?

Today, I'm going to tell you about one of the most life altering events of my life.

It took place during a jog at my local walking park with Brooke Castillo.

Only, she wasn't there.

It was just me, my phone, and my head phones, and Brooke's podcast.

It's Not My Teen That Needs To Change, It's ME!

I can't remember which podcast episode I was listening to. Usually I'd either listen to multiple episodes in a jog, and sometimes I'd listen to the same episode twice just because it was so mind blowing at the time.

I can't even remember exactly what she said, but I can remember exactly what I realized, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
"It's not my teen that needs to change. It's me."

WHAT????

I had to stop jogging and take a second to process that information.

As I realized the implications that came with that understanding, it kind of felt like a gut punch.

I suddenly realized that I had been doing it all wrong as a parent.

BE The Change You Want To See

Before that day, when I thought about parenting my foster teens, I felt like a failure.

I often felt overwhelmed and frustrated.

I was stuck in the trap of trying to control my foster teens.

We were power struggling every day, and my wife and I thought about quitting as foster parents.

But, this realization changed EVERYTHING!

I started asking myself one simple question over and over:

"How can I BE THE CHANGE I want to see here?"

It was amazing what I was able to find when I asked myself that question.

I can be more calm.

I can be kinder.

I can be more proactive.

I can be more complimentary.

I can be more fun.

I can be more consistent.

It felt so empowering. After wasting so much time and energy trying to change my foster kids, it was invigorating simply being the change.

You Can Do the Same Thing

If you're tired of trying to change your teen, you can do the same thing I did.

Commit to BEING the change you are looking for.

You'll be surprised just how much everything around you changes when you change.

Enroll In The IMPACT Parenting Course TODAY

If you're the type of parent who wants a strong relationship with your teen, this is the course for you.

If you're tired of fighting with your teen or simply feeling disappointed with them all of the time, join us in the Impact Parenting Course today!

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Top 10 Parenting Secrets: #10 Trigger Warning Jun 15, 2023

Show notes

What Does Trigger Even Mean?

For most people, when their talking about triggers, or "being triggered", they're usually talking about some kind of circumstance that triggers them or others.

This circumstance could be somebody else's actions, or words, or even something outside of their control like the color of their skin, their past, or even their heritage.

The truth is still the same, triggers are circumstances that trigger a mental, emotional, or behavioral response, and probably all 3.

Typically when people talk about being triggered, it's because it's caused an uncomfortable and undesired response.

When I've been accused of triggering people, it's usually because I said something that they don't like because it triggers an uncomfortable emotion.

You should know this, and your teen needs to know this too, but their are people in this world trying to trigger you for their own benefit.

Don't Take It Personally

When someone or something triggers you, don't take it personally.

But, life doesn't happen to you, it happens FOR you.

Your triggers aren't happening to you. They're happening for you.

What To Do When You're Triggered
Check out the show notes for more details.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Top 10 Parenting Secrets: #9 Life Changing Habits Jun 08, 2023

Show notes

Habits Are Underrated and Underutilized

Every year around New Year's, everyone starts talking about goals.

This is awesome, I think everyone should have goals.

The problem is, with out habits, your goals are little more than dreams.

If you want to accomplish your goals, you need to identify, "What habits will it take to accomplish my goal?"

Powerful Parenting Habits

Set Your Intention Each Day
Commit to Connection Daily
Embrace the Moment
Manage Your Mind
Trust Yourself, Your Teen, and the Process
Let Go Of Things Outside of Your Control
Practice, Practice, Practice
Be Willing to Be Wrong and/or Make Mistakes
Be The Change You Want to See
Play to Your Strengths

Come Join Me LIVE!
I'm going to be Live for my 3 Day Be the Change Parenting Training

It's going to be awesome! Register and Save the dates:

June 8 - 12PM (MDT)

June 13 - 12PM (MDT)

June 15 - 12PM (MDT)

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

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Top 10 Parenting Secrets: #8 How to Set Boundaries Jun 01, 2023

Show notes

Boundaries are Misunderstood
There are some common mistakes that parents make when setting boundaries.
Boundaries aren't meant to control others.
Boundaries are important for you and your teen.
Come Join Me!
I'm going to be Live for my 3 Day Be the Change Parenting Training

It's going to be awesome! Register and Save the dates:

June 8 - 12PM (MDT)

June 13 - 12PM (MDT)

June 15 - 12PM (MDT)

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Top 10 Parenting Secrets: #7 Controlling Your Teen is Selfish May 25, 2023

Show notes

Trying to Control Your Teen Hurts Your Teen
Just Because Everyone Does It Doesn't Make It Right
Do You Like It When Others Try To Control You?
There's a Better Way
If You Continue to Control, Your Relationship will Suffer
Come Join Me!

I'm getting ready to do my 3 day live Be the Change Parenting series.
This is one of my most popular trainings that I do.
Don't miss it!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Top 10 Parenting Secrets: #6 Connecting with Your Teen May 18, 2023

Show notes

Teens want connection.
Contrary to the myth that teens don't want anything to do with you as their parents, it's important for you to trust that your teen actually desires a connection with you.
Build Values-Based Connection.
Instead of trying to connect over things that you value, it is important to connect with your teen based on their values and interests. Understanding and engaging with what matters to them can strengthen your relationship with them.
Your Relationships Reflect You.
The quality of your relationships with others, especially your teens, is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Focus on improving your self-connection to create a powerful connection with your teens. Being kinder and more respectful to yourself can positively impact your relationship with your teen.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

My Favorite Parenting Secrets: Self-Connection & Inner Wisdom May 11, 2023

Show notes

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Identity, Abundance and The Law of Attraction with Cliff Ravenscraft May 04, 2023

Show notes

In this podcast episode, I interview Cliff Ravenscraft from MindsetAnswerman.com
We talk about:
1. Identity
2. Abundance
3. The Law of Attraction
and a few other random things.
Come Listen and Enjoy this Podcast Interview!

Want to be the mom of your dreams? Come join us in my parenting membership.
Benpughccoaching.com/fffp

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

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IMPACT INTERVIEW: Melissa's Experience with Coaching and the Parent Membership Apr 27, 2023

Show notes

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Leadership and Self-Deception with Real-Life Mom Cortni Apr 20, 2023

Show notes

Start BEING The Parent Of Your Dreams TODAY!

Real Talk about the book Leadership and Self-Deception

What does it mean to be “in the box” towards someone?

Being “In the Box”= Seeing ourselves and others in a systematically distorted way. Others
are mere Objects

Being “Out of the Box” = Seeing ourselves and others more or less as we are, as People.

Self-deception is creating stories based on your own reality that doesn’t serve you!

Collusion

When we are in the box towards someone we generally want to get other people to join in with us and confirm that what we are thinking and feeling is justified.

In the book, Leadership and Self-Deception, there is a story about Kate. She is in the box towards her son for being late home from hanging out with friends. When she was in the box she needed to her son to be doing wrong.

When he shows up on time, but just barely, she still complains about how he is cutting it close.

Kate and her husband were colluding together against their son.

Being the Change

Cortni wanted her husband to read this book since they were in the box against each other. But he didn’t want to. . . until she decided to read it without him and started making changes, then he was finally interested himself.

Ben: Cortni what would you tell someone who thinks this won’t work for them?

Cortni: TRY! Just give it a try. With the membership, give it a shot even for a month. And you will feel so much support from the other moms and Ben. It’s worth it! Just give it a shot.

Join The Firmly Founded Parent (FFP) Membership

If you want to seriously up-level your parenting, join the membership.

If you’re tired of arguing with your teen and trying to help them even though they don’t want help, join the membership.

If you like 1:1 support, join the membership.

If you want the support of a community of parents just like you, join the membership

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.