IMbetween Podcast on Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Everything In Between

Latest Episodes:

Episode 84: The Lies We Believe About Parenting Jan 21, 2020

Show notes

On the surface, believing the lie that you are who you raise doesn’t seem too bad, since involvement in your child’s life is better than neglect. However, underneath the surface, this lie frauds us into believing that our children’s success is our success. And their failure is our failure.

Are we the ones that are ultimately in control over the destiny of our children? Can we shape and mould them into our image and likeness? Do we have the power to sustain them? Outwardly, of course we would blurt out, "NO!" But inwardly, we may be sitting with a lie that actually tricks us into believing that our self-worth is tied directly to our children.

On Episode 84, Daniel and Christina unpack two of the common lies that we believe about parenting reframed as half-truths: You are who you raise and You are what you know. These two are from Daniel's new book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love

Grab Your FREE Guide to Setting a SMART Goal:

This printable will help you set and achieve your goals in 2020. We can't wait to hear all about the goals you have smashed this year!

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

Daniel's latest book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
The lies we believe about parenting
The vicious cycle we create when we believe the lies that you are who you raise and you are what you know
Why we need to overcome these lies and how to overcome them

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab a copy of Daniel's new book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
Listen to Episode 82: The Lies We Believe About Ourselves where we go more into depth about the lies "You are what you do" and "You are your past"
Catch up on Episode 83: The Lies We Believe About Marriage were we discuss the lies: "You are who you know" and "You are what you experience"

Quotables & Tweetables:

"If media, which includes YouTube, has become the number-one influencer for our children's career choices, what are the implications?" @danielsangi
"And then one day we realize that we have no idea why we are doing what we're doing. And when it comes to parenting, that's a scary place to be." @danielsangi
"You are who you raise: This lie is so dangerous because it deceives you into believing that parenting ought to be your all and everything. That your children should be the center of your universe." @danielsangi
"On the surface this lie, "You are who you raise" doesn't seem too bad, since involvement in your child's life is better than neglect. However, underneath the surface, this lie actually tricks you into believing that your self-worth is tied directly to the performance of your children." @danielsangi
"This lie, "You are who you raise" frauds you into believing that your children's successes your success. And their failure is your failure." @danielsangi

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And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For the full show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode84

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Episode 83: The Lies We Believe About Marriage Jan 21, 2020

Show notes

On the surface, while the Internet, smartphones, and the rise of the gig economy appear to be connecting us with one another, they’re actually doing the very opposite. They’re exacerbating the problems of disconnection, isolation, and loneliness. We are more disconnected than ever before, which is leading to a decline in trust. And the more disconnected and untrusting we become, the more we are going to turn inward and become unhealthily obsessed with ourselves.

Marriage is about unity, oneness, and should be the opposite of selfishness. On Episode 83, Daniel and Christina walk through two of the common lies that we believe about marriage reframed as half-truths: You are who you know and You are what you experience. These two lies are from Daniel's new book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love.

Grab Your FREE Guide to Setting a SMART Goal:

This printable will help you set and achieve your goals in 2020. We can't wait to hear all about the goals you have smashed this year!

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

Daniel's latest book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
The lies we believe about marriage
The negative sides of believing that you are who you know and you are what you experience
Why we need to overcome these lies and how to overcome them

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab a copy of Daniel's new book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
Listen to Episode 82: The Lies We Believe About Ourselves where we go more into depth about the lies "You are what you do" and "You are your past"

Quotables & Tweetables:

"On the surface, while the Internet, smartphones, and the rise of the gig economy appear to be connecting us with one another, they’re actually doing the very opposite. They’re exacerbating the problems of disconnection, isolation, and loneliness." @danielsangi
"If we're not careful, chasing after experiences can become a god in our lives." @danielsangi
"Comparisons is a zero sum game. Underneath it all, there is no end to this lie. There is always more comparison. Instead of quenching the flames of jealousy and envy in our hearts, experiences end up fanning them." @danielsangi
"And while freedom is the allure of the gig economy— that you will have more flexibility in your schedule to spend time with your loved ones, and money to spend on experiences—it actually leads to the opposite."@danielsangi
"Just consider the free time or downtime that you used to have after work to invite friends over for dinner, to talk with your neighbors, or go to the lake with your family on the weekends. Haven’t you replaced some or all of it with hustling, grinding, and working on the side, so that you’ll have more money to spend time with them . . . at some point in the future?" @danielsangi

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And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For the full show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode83

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Episode 82: The Lies We Believe About Ourselves Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

We live in a day and age of fake news where half-truths are everywhere. At first glance, these partial truths don't seem so hard to swallow. We desire peace in our hearts, in our minds, and in our bodies. So, we become less busy or busier. We set goals of numbers that we want to see on the scale by January 31st. We get a new planner to fill with all the things we want to do. We buy into the lie that we are what we do, we are what the scale says we have become, and we are what the calendar block of the day tells us.

It's not the outright harmful, evil, or unjust lies that are dangerous; they are the easily recognizable ones. However, the half-truths - the ones that mingle truth and falsehood with the deliberate intent to deceive? Those are the ones we need to pay attention to.

On Episode 82, Daniel and Christina Im walk through two of the common lies that we believe about ourselves reframed as half-truths: You are what you do and You are your past. These two lies are from Daniel's book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love.

Grab Your FREE Guide to Setting a SMART Goal:

This printable will help you set and achieve your goals in 2020. We can't wait to hear all about the goals you have smashed this year!

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

Daniel's latest book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
The lies we believe about ourselves
The dangers of believing that you are what you do and you are your past
Why we need to overcome these lies and how to overcome them

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab a copy of Daniel's new book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
Listen to our This Is Us episode where we share about our past and the purpose of our podcast

Quotables & Tweetables:

"A life dictated by doing is not much of a life at all." @danielsangi
"Freedom and flexibility are hallmarks of the gig economy." @danielsangi
"In doers, I don't want to trust."@danielsangi
"No wonder we over-identify with our jobs - we've been conditioned to do so, both from within and from without."@danielsangi
"Unfortunately, the thing about pretending is that it always leads to anxiety. You're constantly looking over your shoulder, wondering when you'll be found out, and what will happen then."@danielsangi
"When we let this lie define our lives, we inevitably end up neglecting the relationships that mean the most to us, our emotional well-being, and our spiritual health." @danielsangi
"We're called human beings, and not human doings." @danielsangi

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For the full show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode82

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 81: How to Set Goals and ACTUALLY Achieve Them Jan 07, 2020

Show notes

Happy 2020! Can you believe another year has passed?! We have also entered a brand new decade! With the start of the New Year, have you set some resolutions for yourself? For your family? For your business? According to a recent article in Forbes Magazine, less than 25% of people actually stay committed to their resolutions after just 30 days, and only 8% actually accomplish them. But, guess what? You don't have to be a part of that statistic!

On Episode 81, Daniel and Christina discuss how to set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based) goals and how this acrostic will help you achieve and smash your 2020 goals! Are you ready?!

Grab Your FREE Guide to Setting a SMART Goal:

This printable will help you set and achieve your goals in 2020. We can't wait to hear all about the goals you have smashed this year!

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

How to set goals and practical ways to achieve them
What setting goals and Dopamine have in common
The SMART acrostic and how it will help you achieve your 2020 goals
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-Based

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

The Forbes Magazine article about New Year's Resolutions that Daniel was referring to
Listen to our previous episode about How to End Your Year Strong
Not quite ready to set goals for 2020? Listen to our previous episode about The Year of Grace and Gratitude
Grab the FREE printable for the Date Coupons here
PRE-SALE OFFER for Daniel's newest book: You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love
If you buy before Feb 3 using this link, you will get the paperback copy for 50% off retail price, and a FREE copy of a digital version when you email the receipt to daniel@danielim.com.

Quotables & Tweetables:

"Make sure the goals you are setting in 2020 are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Based - @imbetweenshow

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For all the show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode81

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 80: How To Strengthen Your Marriage in 15 Minutes (with Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey) Dec 31, 2019

Show notes

What separates happy marriages from miserable ones? What if we told you that you could have a stronger, healthier, more joy-filled marriage in just 15 minutes a day? Sound too good to be true? Authors Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey have studied relationships (and neuroscience) and discovered the joy gap - a length of time between moments of shared joy.

When the joy gap gets bigger, problems are more likely to overwhelm you, resentment creeps in, and you start to feel distant and alone in your marriage. When the joy gap is smaller, you regularly feel connected, happy, and your marriage is a source of joy.

On Episode 80, Daniel and Christina interview Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey (co-authors of The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages) about how 15 minutes a day, and brain science hacks, can boost your emotional, spiritual, and physical connection with your spouse.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

How 15 minutes a day will help you stay in love
The connection between brain science and having joy in your marriage
What the joy gap is, why it matters, and how to shrink it
Learn how to return to joy more quickly after disconnection
4 habits that shrink the joy gap:
Play together
Listening for emotion
Appreciate daily
Nuture a rhythm

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab your copy of Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey's book The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages: How 15 Minutes a Day Will Help You Stay in Love
Wanting to hear more about how to stay in love? Listen to Episode 7: Keeping the Romance Alive
Looking for date ideas to stay connected with your spouse? Tune into Episode 58: Dating Your Spouse In Every Season of Life
Feeling a little alone in your marriage? Listen to Episode 76: 4 Things to Remember When Marriage Is Hard
Have you listened to our previous New Year's episode? Episode 50: The Year of Grace and Gratitude

Quotables and Tweetables:

"Falling "out of love" is all about the absence of joy." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow
"Joyful attachment is the most powerful motivator in life." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow
"Hope is just around the corner for your marriage." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow
"What you believe about your wife and husband will have a profound effect on how you treat and feel about him or her." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow
"When appreciation is lacking, the joy gap tends to grow, and as it grows, it tends to fill with resentment."
"The good thing about joy is that it is contagious." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow
"Healthy marriages are filled with forgiveness, not resentment. It is a way of saying, "I want our relationship to be bigger than our problems." - Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey @imbetweenshow

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

_________________________________________________________________Meet Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey:

Marcus Warner is the president of Deeper Walk International. He is a former pastor and college professor who has written several books including Understanding the Wounded Heart, What Every Believer Should Know ablout Spiritual Warfare, and Rare Leadership. Marcus trains hundreds of leaders and equips thousands of Christians each year across the globe. For more information, go to deeperwalkinternational.org

Chris Coursey is an ordained minister, pastoral counselor, published author, and international speaker. He and his wife, Jen, lead and design the THRIVE Training Program that uses brain-based exercises to train leaders, families, and communities in the 19 relational skills and the Immanuel Lifestyle. For more information, go to happyhappymarriage.org

For the full show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode80

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 79: The 5 Money Personalities and Why They Matter Dec 24, 2019

Show notes

Whether we realize it or not, we all have a relationship with money. Some have a wonderful, healthy, and bountiful relationship with money. Others feel drained, owned, or overwhelmed by money. Every person has a unique way of thinking about and dealing with money. This is called a Money Personality.

Not everyone has the same money personality. Perhaps you can see it in your own children. Some kids save like money is going out of style. Others may earn a quarter just so that they can tun around and spend it on anything and everything. Like our own children, we have very different ways of thinking about and dealing with money.

It may seem obvious, but here’s a good reminder: most of us may assume that our spouse thinks about money like we do, and if they don’t, they are wrong. But, is that really true?

In Episode 79, Daniel and Christina help you discover what your Money Personality is in order to help you understand yourself and the way you think about/approach money.

Have You Grabbed Your FREE Guide to Better Relationships with The Enneagram?

We can't wait for you to get your hands on this resource! This printable will help you have a healthier marriage, deeper friendships, and better work relations.
Download our FREE printable: The Enneagram and Conflict Resolution: A Guide to Better Relationships

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

What the 5 Money Personalities are
Saver
Spender
Risk Taker
Security Seeker
Flyer
How to discover which Money Personality you are
The strengths and shadow sides of each Money Personality
What financial infidelity is and how to avoid it

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Are you wanting to learn more about The 5 Money Personalities? Make sure to pick up The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language by Scott and Bethany Palmer
Want to learn more about how marriage and money can successfully go hand in hand? Listen to Episode 17: Money and Marriage with author Art Rainer
Pick up a copy of Art Rainer's book The Marriage Challenge: A Financial Guide for Married Couples
Are you wanting to teach your kids about handling money in a way they understand? Take a look at Art Rainer's kids books to help your children learn about money: The Great Lemonade Standoff, The Mad Cash Dash, and Trouble At The Toy Store
Want to learn how to raise children that are wise with their spending, saving, and giving? Listen to Episode 29: How to Raise a Money Saavy Kid with Rachel Cruze (daughter of Dave Ramsey)
Pick up a copy of Rachel Cruze's book Smart Money, Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money

Quotables & Tweetables:

"Sometimes the combination of different Money Personalities can create serious tension and conflict. But when you know and respect your spouse’s Money Personality, you will have a greater understanding of each other and hopefully money will no longer be such a “trigger point” to a heated discussion." - @imbetweenshow
"There is no right or wrong Money Personality. The goal in finding out your and your spouse's money personality is to help you understand each other better and the way you think about and approach money." - @imbetweenshow
"In the grand scheme of things, it's not really about the money. It’s about the relationship, it’s about trust, and respect, and communication." - @imbetweenshow

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For the full show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode79

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 78: 3 Ways To Forgive When Your Wound Is Still Open (with Sarah Mae) Dec 17, 2019

Show notes

How do you forgive someone that has wounded you deeply? How do you forgive someone when your wounds are still open? We are about to enter what therapists and counsellors call the most stressful time of the year – the holidays! We are surrounded by people and family that we try to avoid because the relationship is awkward. It is difficult to come face to face with people who have hurt us or be reminded that we have hurt them. On Episode 78, Daniel and Christina interview Sarah Mae (author of The Complicated Heart) about ways she has learned to forgive her alcoholic mother.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

How to forgive someone when your wounds are still open
What Gaslighting is and why you need to be aware of it
The importance of mourning the past
Why you need to set boundaries for the present
How to have hope for the future, even if the present situation doesn't look so promising

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab your copy of Sarah Mae's newest book, The Complicated Heart
Watch the parody about the Mom being interrupted during the BBC interview here
Listen to Episode 77: What to Do When Life Doesn't Go As Planned

Quotables and Tweetables:

"When we face our pain, that is when God will set us on a healing path and begin to set us free." @sarahmae
"It's important to know what your core lies are, so that you can replace them with the truth." @sarahmae
"Especially during the holidays, you need to know your boundaries. You need to decide what you are okay with and not okay with."@sarahmae
"Grief is the process of facing reality and letting go of expectations." @sarahmae
"Mourn the reality of what is, but don't ever mourn what God may yet restore. Don't mourn the future because that's where hope is." @sarahmae

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

_________________________________________________________________

Meet Sarah Mae:

Sarah Mae is a nationally known speaker, the host of The Complicated Heart Podcast, and co-author of the bestselling book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. She loves to travel all over the country, speaking at conferences and events, encouraging women to walk in freedom. She makes her home in Lancaster County Pennsylvania with her woodworker husband, three spunky kiddos, and a naughty yellow lab named Memphis.

Learn more at sarahmae.com and follow her @sarahmaewrites.

For all the show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode78

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 77: What To Do When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned Dec 10, 2019

Show notes

Interruptions: They are the worst! Whether it is finding out your plane is delayed, getting stuck in unexpected traffic, or waking up to a sick child, interruptions mess up our perfectly planned plans. Perhaps you are in a season where interruptions are more heartbreaking than getting stuck bumper to bumper on the highway. Maybe you thought you would be married by now. Maybe you assumed you would be carrying a baby in your arms instead of dragging around an aching heart. When life doesn’t go as we had originally planned, what do we do? What should we do? In Episode 77, Daniel and Christina share the lessons they have learned while recovering from their car accident and from this past year of “interruptions.”

Have You Grabbed Your FREE Guide to Better Relationships with The Enneagram?

We can't wait for you to get your hands on this resource! This printable will help you have a healthier marriage, deeper friendships, and better work relations.
Download our FREE printable: The Enneagram and Conflict Resolution: A Guide to Better Relationships

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

What to do when life doesn't go as planned
Why grief and surrender are important steps to take
The importance of realizing that there is much more that is outside of our control than is in our control
Why we need to show grace to ourselves and how to do it
How even in our disappointments and grief, we can begin to dream again
Learning to wait with hope

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Are you wanting to hear more about learning to dream again? Listen to our interview with Aaron and Jennifer Smith about Why You Should Dream With Your Spouse
Are you suffering from decision-fatigue? Listen to Episode 66: 5 Keys to Help You Make Your Next Decision
Are you in the middle of a decision-making process ? Make sure you listen to Episode 71: 5 Tips to Help You Thrive Your Next Transition and read Daniel’s articles on The Most Important Question When Discerning Your Next Steps and The Difference Between an Opportunity and a Calling

Quotables & Tweetables:

"Interruptions can actually be advantageous and redeemed rather than a regret that looms over our heads." - @imbetweenshow
"Showing grace to yourself means not trying to repeat the rhythms of yesterday." - @imbetweenshow
"So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” (2 Cor 4:16-18) - @imbetweenshow
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (Matt 6:34) - @imbetweenshow

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For the full show notes, head to IMbetween.org/episode77

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 76: 4 Things to Remember When Marriage Is Hard Oct 22, 2019

Show notes

Let’s be honest. Marriage is difficult. There are seasons in marriage when there seems to be more fighting than kissing and more tears than laughter. On Episode 76 of the IMbetween Podcast, Daniel and Christina share about their hardest year of marriage and the 4 things they learned while journeying through this rough season.

A Guide to Better Relationships with The Enneagram:

We can't wait for you to get your hands on this resource! This printable will help you have a healthier marriage, deeper friendships, and better work relations.
Download our FREE printable: The Enneagram and Conflict Resolution: A Guide to Better Relationships

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

4 important things to keep in mind when marriage is hard
The difference between a convenant marriage and a contractual marriage
The lies we need to stop believing about our parenting and our children
Why it's dangerous to romanticize about a different life outside of your marriage
How the Enneagram can be a useful tool while in conflict with your spouse or others

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Are you suffering from decision-fatigue? Listen to Episode 66: 5 Keys to Help You Make Your Next Decision
Are you in the middle of a decision-making process ? Make sure you listen to Episode 71: 5 Tips to Help You Thrive Your Next Transition and read Daniel’s articles on The Most Important Question When Discerning Your Next Steps and The Difference Between an Opportunity and a Calling
Make sure you pre-order a copy of Daniel's newest book You Are What You Do: and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love
Listen to our interviews with Ron Deal - the leading expert on raising healthy Blended Families, Episode 74: Blended Families: Strategies to Help Your Stepfamily Blend and Episode 75: Common Pitfalls in Blended Families and How to Overcome Them
Want to hear more about Stonewalling? Check out Dr. John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Looking for a free Enneagram test? This is the test we recommend
Want to hear more about the Enneagram and relationships? Listen to Episode 69: Enneagram and Communication Styles and Episode 70: Resolving Conflict with the Enneagram

Quotables & Tweetables:

"Remember that marriage is a covenant and not a contract." - @imbetweenshow
"The happiness of your kids does not trump the health of your marriage." - @imbetweenshow
"You are NOT who you raise." - @imbetweenshow
"What is the one thing you can stop, so that you can start investing into your marriage?" @imbetweenshow
"Divorce will not solve all of your problems, so don't romanticize it." @imbetweenshow
"Just keep talking." @imbetweenshow

Subscribe and Connect With Us:

And don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!

For all the show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode76

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 75: Common Pitfalls in Blended Families and How to Overcome Them (with Ron L. Deal) Oct 15, 2019

Show notes

Are there certain things stepparents should know about their stepchildren? Are there particular do's and don'ts a blended family should know about? In part 2 of our interview, Ron Deal (the leading national expert and the most widely read and viewed author on blended families in the country) shares common pitfalls blended families may experience and how to overcome them. If you have not listened to part 1 yet, make sure you go back and listen to Blended Families: Strategies to Help Your Step Family Blend

For all the show notes, go to IMbetween.org/episode75

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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