I Want to Put a Baby in You!

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Episode 133: Male-Factor Infertility & Mental Health – Steven Miller Mar 30, 2022

Show notes

Steven J. Miller obtained bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology at Northern Michigan University and is currently in the part-time MSW program at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. He’s been in social work since 2009, working with youth and families. Steven is an advocate for more discussion among social workers and other helping professionals about the impact of infertility on one’s mental health. Steven and his wife struggled with infertility for seven years before being successful using IVF, resulting in now three-year-old twin boys. After his MSW, Steven plans to work in Reproductive Mental Health and continue advocacy for discussion about this topic in the classroom to help better prepare students and clinicians to support those coming to them for support. Listen to Steven as he discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Male representation of infertility • 19 states and increasing for infertility insurance coverage • Trying to navigate time off for appointments • The feeling of trauma when seeing daily reminders of their infertility struggles Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn about Resolve and their support here: https://resolve.org Follow Steven at: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sjmiller2024/

Episode 132: Post-Mortem Sperm Retrieval – Casey DiPaola and Joe Williams Dec 23, 2021

Show notes

Kathleen (“Casey”) Copps DiPaola, Esq. is a partner of Copps DiPaola Silverman, PLLC in Albany, New York where she focuses her practice on Adoption, Assisted Reproduction and Estate Planning & Probate. She is a Fellow of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, the President of New York Attorneys for Adoption & Family Formation and also an active member of various bar associations. She has worked tirelessly over the last several years to help draft the New York Child Parent Security Act and advocate for its enactment by the legislature. She is also a frequent lecturer to attorneys, judges, fertility clinics and other organizations on the topics of adoption, assisted reproduction/surrogacy and the intersection of estate planning and family formation. Ms. DiPaola is also the founder of the New York Surrogacy Center, a licensed surrogacy matching program that operates primarily in New York, Vermont and New Jersey. She is licensed to practice in state courts in New York, New Jersey and Vermont as well as various federal courts, including the United States Supreme Court. Ms. DiPaola is also an active volunteer in her community in both a legal and non-legal capacity. She previously graduated from the Rochester Institute of Technology with highest honors and as the salutatorian from Albany Law School in 2009. She lives in upstate New York with her husband and two children. Joseph R. Williams practices primarily in the fields of matrimonial, family, and adoption law. Joe represents individuals in the negotiation and litigation of separation, divorce, child custody, support and domestic violence matters, as well as all areas of adoption law, including private adoptions, voluntary agency adoptions, foster care adoptions and step/second parent adoptions. Joe also practices in the related area of assisted reproductive technology law (egg/sperm/embryo donation and surrogacy/gestational carrier agreements) and kinship guardianship (kinGAP). Listen to Casey and Joe as they discuss with Ellen and Jenn: • The sudden death of a family’s son at the age of 21. • The importance to the family and their culture of the continuation of their lineage. • Getting permission to retrieve gametes…when there is no written consent. • How Casey and Joe heard of the family’s situation and jumped in to help! • This case is still ongoing; however, it has paved the way for others. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn about Casey and Joe’s law firm: https://thecdslawfirm.com/ #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF

Episode 131: Faith, Cancer, and Surrogacy – Paige McCoy Dec 15, 2021

Show notes

Paige is a cancer survivor turned cancer advocate and mother to an energetic two-year-old son. Married in 2012, she never anticipated having to overcome a variety of obstacles to have a family. When unexplained infertility forced her to undergo multiple rounds of IVF, she never wavered. When leukemia unexpectedly struck three weeks before an embryo transfer, she kept her eye on recovering so she could one day pursue parenthood. And when the cancer treatments eliminated her ability to carry a child, she matched with a selfless surrogate to carry the embryo she dreamed about for years. Today, Paige dedicates her life to helping other young adult cancer patients fight their diagnoses, knowing that a caring support system and documented bucket list are as strong as any medicine. In her spare time, she and her family alternate completing her personal bucket list created in the hospital with typical two-year-old activities like digging in dirt and memorizing construction vehicles. She lives in Denver with her husband, Jeff, and son, Bradley, whom she named after the bone marrow donor that gave her a second chance at life, and given the opportunity, she would love to grow their family by one more through another surrogacy journey. Listen to Paige as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Going through infertility treatment at a young age. • Getting ready for their embryo transfer, but instead finding out Paige had leukemia and needed to be taken by ambulance for emergency treatment! • How infertility and cancer challenged her faith, but receiving the support of her priest and church renewed it. • Tackling difficult topics such as pregnancy termination. • Their first journey through surrogacy as intended parents and the birth of their first child. • Their current search for their second surrogate and their hope for their last embryos. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF

Episode 130: Fertility and Film– Jessica McGaugh and Roma Sur Dec 08, 2021

Show notes

Jessica McGaugh is an award-winning independent film director, cinematographer and editor working out of Denver, Colorado. Her work has been screened internationally including the Mumbai International Film Festival, Denver Film Festival, NDTV and Rocky Mountain PBS. Her feature films Red Pearl and Three Worlds, One Stage are distributed internationally on VOD and SVOD platforms. Jessica received an MFA in Film from Syracuse University and is currently teaching in the Film & Television Department at the University of Colorado Denver. Roma Sur is a screenwriter and a documentary filmmaker, based in Denver, Colorado. After having lost her father at the age of four, she and her sister were raised by their mother in one of the most unsafe cities of India. Not surprisingly, her characters are usually fierce, independent women, or young adult, who know how to give adversity a tight backhand. She writes young adult and female driven dramas with levity, that are a cross-pollination of her immigrant experience of living in the US for twenty years, and her childhood in India. Her recent feature screenplay, “The Rock Within”, has got acknowledged by the Sundance Asian American lab, Stowe Story Labs, India’s leading pitch market, Film Bazaar, and Screencraft’s Funding contest. Sur has also served as an Executive Producer on two award-winning web series. She has been teaching fiction and non-fiction writing at the University of Colorado since 2009. The Rock Within is crafted by an Asian-American female Screenwriter, who battled infertility for over four years and a Director who had three miscarriages. The story is told through the voice of the female lead, Trisha Sen. It is anchored in the cross-cultural friendship that she creates with the second lead, Jennie Gaw. This forms the emotional core of the movie, which is a fresh take on the subject of infertility. The narrative is punctuated with humor and adventure without making light of the subject. The diverse nature of this project opens it up to a much broader international audience. The story ends on an uplifting note, proving a strong cathartic arc. Listen to Jessica and Roma as they discuss with Ellen and Jenn: • How Jessica and Roma became friends and started to make movies together. • Jessica’s experience with miscarriage and how common, and yet not talked about, that experience is. • Roma’s experience with IUI, IVF, and trying to have a second child. • The film making process and working with industry leaders and screen writers to delve into a difficult topic but keep their film upbeat. • Jessica and Roma’s recommendations of movies and shows related to infertility. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ For movie updates visit: https://www.instagram.com/therockwithinmovie/?hl=en or https://www.facebook.com/therockwithinmovie Learn about Jessica: https://www.jessicamcgaw.com/about Learn about Roma: https://www.surcreations.com #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF

Episode 129: Family Inceptions – Eloise Drane Dec 01, 2021

Show notes

After completing her MBA, Eloise Drane founded Family Inceptions, a full-service surrogacy and egg donation agency. Eloise also hosts Fertility Café, an educational podcast on modern family building, and is the creator of digital courses on independent surrogacy, Surrogacy Roadmap. Eloise knows that compassion and grace are necessary ingredients for the delicate journey that egg donation and gestational surrogacy can be for all parties. She understands the importance of empowerment and encouragement within the family creation process. Eloise’s passion and unparalleled empathy blossomed from her own experience as an egg donor six times and a gestational surrogate three times. When she isn’t guiding others in making family legacies, Eloise can be found fostering the relationships in her own family, reading, traveling, and spending quality time with her husband and children. Listen to Eloise as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • How initial testing showed she wasn’t a match to donate a kidney to her cousin, but she tested again and miraculously matched and donated to him! • Going into egg donation when it was in its infancy, and how things were much different back then. • How she became a surrogate and navigating that conversation with her spouse. • Issues with how medical staff discuss fertility with patients, particularly minorities. • How she founded Family Inceptions to assist people of color to find donors and surrogates. • Her message: use your voice! Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ View Eloise’s agency here: https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to the Fertility Café here: https://familyinceptions.com/fertility-cafe/ #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF

Episode 128: Surrogacy Struggles in Michigan – Aubrey Gojcaj Nov 26, 2021

Show notes

Aubrey Gojcaj is a wife, mom, and Michigander, as well as a passionate advocate for eliminating family building obstacles. Medical complications from the birth of her first child ended Aubrey’s ability to be pregnant again. She was thrilled when her sister generously offered to be her surrogate. But the journey to having another child has been made especially difficult by Michigan’s anti-surrogacy laws. Listen to Aubrey as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Aubrey and her spouse’s decision to turn to IVF after a 3 year fertility journey. • The emergency surgery that ended Aubrey’s ability to become pregnant again; but her sister’s life-changing offer to be her surrogate. • The legal restrictions in Michigan criminalizing compensated surrogacy and making altruistic surrogacy difficult. • Why betters laws are so desperately needed in Michigan to catch up to modern science. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Watch Aubrey share her story on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKGL1ZG-dTcAoPfthJnc2qw?app=desktop&feature=emb_ch_name_ex Learn about the Michigan Fertility Alliance here: https://www.mifertilityalliance.com #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF #Michigan

Episode 127: Three Paths To Parenthood – Brett Griffin-Young Nov 17, 2021

Show notes

Brett and his husband live in England and are proud parents of three children: one through genetic (traditional) surrogacy, one through adoption, and one through gestational surrogacy. Brett regularly appears in the media advocating for and promoting surrogacy and adoption paths to parenthood. Brett is passionate about challenging inaccurate perceptions of surrogacy and adoption and supporting people in understanding and navigating these paths. Listen to Brett as he discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Growing up in Africa, and his family having to flee their home and country. • Being raised in a highly religious household, unaccepting of LGBTQ+ persons. • What happened to make him leave the congregation and move to England. • Meeting his husband through a mutual friend; it was love at first sight! • The ah-ha moment to become parents. • Doing several rounds of IVF and ended up using IUI and traditional surrogacy. • Big events in his life, leading to adoption of their second child. • How he and his husband decided together to embark on a new surrogacy journey, hoping for a third child genetically related to Brett. • Traveling during a pandemic and travel ban for the birth of their third child. • Donating their remaining embryo and the excitement in being a donor. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF

Episode 126: If These Ovaries Could Talk – Robin Hopkins & Jaimie Kelton Nov 10, 2021

Show notes

Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins meet up each year at the Pride Family Picnic with their wives and kids in tow. That’s when then-pregnant Jaimie pitched Robin the idea to make a podcast about LGBTQ families. One baby and countless beautiful stories later, the popular and award-winning podcast If These Ovaries Could Talk was born. While shining a spotlight on all the different ways nontraditional families get made, Jaimie and Robin share their personal fertility journeys and their parenting adventures. Robin and Jaime are also the co-authors of the book "If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We've Learned about Making an LGBTQ Family." If ever there were two people you’d want to hang out with, it’s Jaimie and Robin. You just can’t help but love them. Listen to Robin and Jaimie as they discuss with Ellen and Jenn: • How these two amazing women met and became friends • Forming their separate families via IVF and IUI • Non-Traditional family planning, with or without a partner • Trying to normalize, uplift and bring a positive light to stories through their Podcast • LGBTQ proof of parentage across the US • Supporting access to information for donor conceived children • Resources they recommend Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Robin Hopkins & Jaimie Kelton and their Podcast here: www.ovariestalk.com Read their book If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making An LGBTQ Family: https://www.amazon.com/If-These-Ovaries-Could-Talk-ebook/dp/B087ZRKVY6 The Every Body Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083TNS5LT/ref=dbs_p_ebk_dam #BrightFuturesFamilies #GrowingFamilies #Surrogacy #IntendedParents #IVF #OvariesTalk

Episode 125: I’m Very Ferris – Tess Kossow Oct 13, 2021

Show notes

Entrepreneurship has always been Tess Kossow’s dream profession. And after having her miracle baby boy, Ferris, she realized this was a now-or-never moment to jump in and become an author with a product the world needs. Ferris was her last embryo and the answered prayer of faith, love, and science through IVF. Reading holds a very special place in Tess’s heart, and this next stage of her career has her creating something she is so very passionate about in the lives of children through her picture books: in vitro fertilization. In November 2019, Tess was a finisher in the New York City Marathon. In October 2020, she survived sudden cardiac arrest and was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. Still through it all, she loved to host parties and celebrate life, no matter the occasion! She holds a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree from Elmhurst College, which is also where she met her best friend and husband, Dan. She has a Havanese named Gatsby and a Siamese cat named James Bond. (Both of which are Ferris’ partners in crime). Tess is a mother, first and foremost, and everything else comes second. She believes you really can have and achieve anything you want…but you are going to have to work for it and expect nothing to be handed to you. Her husband often calls her his real-life Steve Jobs, because of how she lives her life and leads by example for her son to believe in the following: “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Ferris is her inspiration, and her husband, Dan, is the motivation that keeps her running the extra mile in all she does. Listen to Tess as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • How Tess and her husband found themselves needing fertility assistance and IVF. • How her pregnancy changed her lifestyle. • Finding ways to normalize and discuss the struggles of pregnancy and post-partum experiences. • What changed in her view of life to start to write children’s books. • Tess’s story of cardiac arrest and survival. • Her mission to get her story out there and help others. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Tess Kossow and her blog, books and more at https://tesskossow.com/

Episode 124: Embryo Disposition Dilemmas – Melanie Mikkelsen Sep 29, 2021

Show notes

Melanie has over 20 years working in the field of fertility counseling, with a special interest in third party reproduction, donor embryo programs, and donor screening. She is Secretary of the Mental Health Professional group of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, and has served on the MHPG Tele- Mental Health Task Force, MHPG Coding Task Force, and Gamete and Embryo Donation Guidelines Task Force. She is the past chair of the ASRM Mental Health Mentoring Committee and past member of ASRM Scientific Advisory Board. She is a consultant for Empower Donation, speaker for Fertility IQ, and member of the Society for Ethics for Egg Donation and Surrogacy (SEEDS). She has given numerous presentations and appeared on podcasts surrounding gamete donation, anonymity, and embryo donation. Melanie is a mental health counselor and donor liaison with Seattle Reproductive Medicine, and creator of Hold Hope, LLC, a fertility counseling and advocacy practice. Listen to Melanie as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • A peek into her personal journey with fertility treatments. • How she found her way into working at a fertility center. • How clinics and storage facilities try to plan embryo disposition from day one. • Donating to a friend or family member and the best route in doing so. • Guidance for patients making decisions in their fertility journey. • Stories from the trenches. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Get your IWTPABIY merch here! https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/merch Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about EMPOWER embryo donation education: https://empowerdonation.com/

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