I Have ADHD Podcast

Latest Episodes:

214 Virtual Assistants for ADHD Entrepreneurs Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

Today’s episode is specifically for ADHD entrepreneurs trying to do everything on their own. I’ve got my bestie Hillary with me, from HandsOn OBM, to convince you why hiring an assistant could be the best thing for you and your business.

Through our 16 years of friendship, we’ve come to understand why we work so well together. We list our differing personality traits that keep us balanced, and I enjoy bragging about what makes Hillary such an incredible support system for me.

Not all assistants are the same, though, and we discuss at length how to find one that can work well with ADHDers. Perhaps the biggest hurdle to overcome is the shame you may have in admitting you need help in the first place.

Whether you start with a group coaching program like FOCUSED or dive straight into hiring a dedicated assistant, we encourage you to take the leap to get support so that you can stay focused on growing that empire of yours!

You can find Hillary on Instagram @va.obm.services or on her website, https://handsonobm.com/

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213 Practical Self-Care for the ADHD Adult May 30, 2023

Show notes

Self-care may be a trending topic, but it can be hard as adults with ADHD to regularly take care of ourselves mentally and physically.

In this episode, I’m diving into everything from the privilege of self-care that not everyone has available to them, forms of free and cost-associated self-care, and how to determine if your self-care is actually just avoidance.

You may think you don’t have the capacity to consider self-care, but have you considered options like gratitude journaling, snuggling a pet, or doing a cold plunge/ice bath?

Some of us didn’t grow up with self-care being a priority, and it can be challenging to give ourselves permission to seek support. I truly hope you can come to a place of knowing your worth and take small steps toward protecting your mental and physical well-being.

If you have the opportunity to consider paid self-care, my group coaching program FOCUSED is a wonderful method of receiving encouragement and support.
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212 How to Navigate a Later-in-Life ADHD Diagnosis May 23, 2023

Show notes

Do you feel like you received an ADHD diagnosis late in life? There is no clinical definition of “late.” Age plays no part in it. It is entirely based on your perception. If this is you, there can be a range of emotions and new stages of growth that you experience after gaining clarity in this area.

You may have heard of the five stages of grief. Well, this episode covers the four stages, or emotions, of a late ADHD diagnosis. These include relief, confusion, grief, and restructuring.

You could experience these in different orders and come back to some more than once. If you take nothing else away from this episode, please understand that however you feel is valid.

No matter your age or season in life, it is a privilege to receive an actual diagnosis to better understand and embrace the fullness of who you are.

If you are looking for a place to get started discovering this new side of you, come join my group coaching program FOCUSED.
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211 How to Cut Down on Chaos May 16, 2023

Show notes

I’m going back to ADHD basics today by addressing how to cut down on the chaos of our everyday lives. As adults with ADHD, we know this is a regular problem for us. We may have an epiphany and simplify for a while, but inevitably, things pile up again and again and again.

Why do we find ourselves in this cycle? Shouldn’t we know the answer by now to avoid so much stress? In this podcast episode, I dive into the neurodivergent struggles that influence us to say ‘yes’ too often. Unsurprisingly, it’s a long list! But hopefully it helps you feel seen and understood, instead of causing you to feel shame and guilt that the neurotypical world has often tried to place on us.

Then comes the hard part - taking action to address and reduce the chaos. It may bring some pain, grief and a lot of FOMO, but I promise you’ll also finally be able to experience peace, rest, clarity and purpose.

You don’t have to do this alone, though. If you join my group coaching program FOCUSED, you’ll receive support from peers going through the same thing and the training to get better at setting good boundaries.
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210 Real Conversations on Daily ADHD Struggles May 09, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt emotionally hungover? I think all of us adults experience this semi-regularly, especially if you have ADHD. When you have a full life of responsibilities, it can be challenging managing your energy and stewarding your capacity.

In this week’s episode of the podcast, I am sharing a recording of my group coaching program FOCUSED, where I chat with three people who feel overwhelmed.

Adult #1 is dealing with the grief of losing a loved one and feeling unable to move forward with their own life. Could perfectionism and excuses be keeping her from taking any action? Could the answer lie in starting small and simple?

Adult #2 is physically, mentally and emotionally carrying burdens for herself, her family and her community. How does she decipher what her priorities are so she can do it all? Should she even be the one to do it all?

Adult #3 feels like she is cheating her students by waiting til the last minute to create lesson plans. But if everyone is successfully learning and leaving positive feedback, is there even a problem to worry about?

I hope you can take something from these coaching sessions and apply it to your own life to feel more regulated and in balance.
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209 The Books That Changed My Life May 02, 2023

Show notes

It’s my birthday week! I love birthdays, getting older, and celebrating life and growth. So for this special birthday episode, I’m sharing a comprehensive list of the books that have changed my life and the reasons why.
Books that have changed my life:

ADHD-focused:

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, by Dr. Russell Barkley

Rethinking Adult ADHD, by Dr. Russ Ramsay

Delivered From Distraction, by Dr. Ned Hallowell

Personal Growth:

Essentialism, by Greg Mckeown

Effortless, by Greg Mckeown

Atomic Habits, by James Clear

Atlas of the Heart, by Brene Brown

Loving What Is, by Byron Katie

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents, by Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Boundaries:

Boundaries, by Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud

Set Boundaries, Find Peace, by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Necessary Endings, by Dr. Henry Cloud

Trauma:

The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk

What Happened to You, by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey

Was It Even Abuse, by Emma Rose Byham

Healthy Spirituality:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero

Honorable Mentions:

A World Without Email, by Cal Newport

Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown

Good to Great, by Jim Collins

I’m also excited to announce that I am getting my trauma-informed coaching certification, which has been a major goal for me. If you aren’t already a part of my group coaching program FOCUSED, it’s a great time to join! Lastly, if you’d like to get me a little something for my birthday…*wink wink*...it would mean the world if you could subscribe to the podcast and leave a review! Thank you all. I hope you enjoy these books!
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208 ADHD Medication and Pregnancy - NEW Study Alert! Apr 25, 2023

Show notes

I believe I have the best Mother’s Day gift ever for adult women with ADHD! There is a new study revealing that there is no connection to children developing neurological conditions or physical impairments whose mothers took ADHD medication when pregnant.

This is huge news! Please see below for links to this study and two additional supporting articles.

This episode is all about prioritizing your needs for mental and physical wellness. You deserve nurturing as much as your baby. There are enough pressures in this world on pregnant women and mothers, and I’m here to tell you that YOU MATTER TOO.

Medication can and should be considered for pregnant women with ADHD that benefit from it. At the end of the day, the decision is yours. The responsibility to do the research and talk to your doctor is yours. But I’m so happy to see actual research out in the world today in support of ADHD medication for mamas that could really need it.

You don’t have to go through this season alone. My group coaching program FOCUSED is filled with women, parents and adults with all kinds of life experiences ready to welcome you in our community with open arms. Come check us out!

Pregnant Women with ADHD Can Breathe a Sigh of Relief - Mt Sinai Health System
Pregnant Women with ADHD Can Breathe a Sigh of Relief - AARHUS University
In utero exposure to ADHD medication and long-term offspring outcomes

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207 Soothing the Pain of Rejection Apr 18, 2023

Show notes

The last episode of the rejection series is a good one on how to respond to and soothe the pain from rejection. Like eating something super cold or hot with sensitive teeth, adults with ADHD tend to react more strongly to rejection than others. Due to repeated rejection, we’ve developed maladaptive coping mechanisms that do not benefit us in the long-run.

Avoidance, people-pleasing and perfectionism are responses that many of us identify with as a way of limiting the amount of rejection in our lives. These serve us in the short-term, but they limit our growth potential and can be downright emotionally exhausting. These three coping mechanisms can be replaced with productive strategies, however, which I have double the options for!

I even offer a free course on addressing perfectionism at ihaveadhd.com/perfect.

The last, and perhaps the most important, of the productive strategies is to surround yourself with safe people. If you’re struggling with finding a strong, encouraging community, come join my group coaching program FOCUSED with similar adults working on becoming their best regulated selves.

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206 The Power of Therapy for Rejection Sensitivity Apr 11, 2023

Show notes

The Power of Therapy for Rejection Sensitivity

Helen Villiers is here with me again in this week’s podcast! You might remember Helen from Episode #200: Maybe I’m Not the Problem: Understanding Emotional Abuse with Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna. Helen is a psychotherapist and co-host of the podcast, In Sight - Exposing Narcissism.

In part 3 of the rejection series, we talk about rejection trauma from the beautiful perspective of a therapist with ADHD. This episode is so affirming of my feelings and opinions shared last week on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

Helen explains important terms such as toxic shame, moral defense, mirroring and stonewalling. We also learn how to identify if a therapist is a good therapist. But my favorite part is when Helen helps me identify why it can be so hard to not take rejection personally and why I look for mirroring in relationships to help me feel safe.

The moral of the story is: therapy works! And immersing yourself in good education, encouragement and coaching in a group like FOCUSED can make a world of difference in dealing with rejection in everyday life.
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205 Why I’m Rejecting RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) Apr 04, 2023

Show notes

I get bold and honest in this episode as I challenge “expert” opinion on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). And honestly, I'm scared you're going to reject me for it.

Most of us adults living with ADHD have many experiences from childhood onwards of being rejected due to our neurodivergence. We've grown up in families and systems that have indeed rejected us. OF COURSE this means that we're more sensitive to rejection.

But I reject the idea that our ADHD itself is the genetic and neurological CAUSE of our rejection issues. No. Growing up in a world that constantly rejects us is the cause of our rejection issues.

Yet there is one published ADHD expert who claims that RSD is genetic to those with ADHD and that the ONLY treatment is medication. He says that "psychotherapy does little to help" those with rejection issues.

Well, I reject these statements as they lack the following:

Any evidence at all

Any mention of other supportive research

Any anecdotal confirmation from real life adults living with ADHD

Rejection is real. Those of us with ADHD have experienced and do experience a lot of it. That doesn’t mean we have genetic disorder giving us rejection sensitivity and that doesn’t mean that only medication can help us improve our sensitivity.

Thankfully I’m not the only one who feels this way. Take a look in the references below and make your own best judgment based on the existing research, your personal rejection experiences, and what you know about the ADHD community.

Rejection sensitivity IS REAL, and most of us ADHDers experience it. But I reject the term RSD, and I wonder if you'd like to reject it, too?

Be in community with kind, like-minded individuals living with ADHD and join my group coaching program, FOCUSED.

Referenced Articles:

RSD: The Feelings are Real but the Cause is All Wrong

Dodson's Additude Mag Article on RSD

Medical News Today: RSD is Controversial
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