I Can Do That!

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What's the Rush? Jun 06, 2022

Show notes

I’ve been a spiritual director and coach for many women over many years. There are common themes that have arisen in that time. ⁠

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One prevalent theme I bump into over and over is this: Women tend to think there is something wrong with them if they are not progressing quickly through their current situation. ⁠

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Whether it’s a difficult work situation, a troubled relational issue, a period of extended grief, or any formational dynamic, most are convinced that quickly is the only reasonable and truly healthy way forward. This is usually an unconscious bias that goes unnoticed until you say some things out loud and look at them a little closer.⁠

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What’s the rush? Let go of the need to get over it and to continue a production-line mentality. This takes courage and hope, but in the long run you will have participated in your own transformational process. ⁠

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You are being shaped more and more into the image of Christ. How long might that take? Breathe. Feel. Cooperate with the invitations set before you. It’s counter cultural, but this isn’t a race and no one is grading you.⁠

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Allow yourself the gift of grace. Grace of pacing. Grace of process. Grace of permission.⁠

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Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website.

Model of an Unhurried Leader May 30, 2022

Show notes

As a person of influence, you may be tempted to move ahead more quickly than your people can move. Be sure they sense you are with them in their journey, that you aren’t trying to drag them forward at your pace.

If you are accompanying someone on their journey right now, notice if you are allowing them the dignity to set their own pace. Are there any adjustments you need to make as you accompany them?

Relationship is more important than achievement.

And, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone else’s grace, it’s ok to receive that gift from them. If you need more time, that’s ok. The fact that you are still pedaling means something. You aren’t giving up and you will get to your destination.

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website.

Copy the Master May 23, 2022

Show notes

Often, when I talk about Unhurried Time with God, I offer that the reason we do it is because Jesus himself did it. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He got in touch with the Father so he could find out what to do, and more importantly, who he was.

Jesus said that the works he did were the Father’s works and the words he spoke were the Father’s words. How else did he know what to do and say except for time spent in God’s presence?

Wouldn’t it be great for someone to look at your life and work and exclaim, “Wow! That looks exactly like Jesus. I can’t distinguish between the two of you because you are so much alike.” How might we copy our Master so that our work is indistinguishable from his? What amount and kind of time does that take?

Ask yourself: What sorts of practices are conducive to receiving the love, mentorship, and guidance of Jesus? What does apprenticeship to Jesus look like in your current season?

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn even more about her and her programs at Unhurried Living website.

Hide and Seek May 16, 2022

Show notes

A few of our deepest needs are to be seen, known and heard. Some of us can share our hidden spaces directly with God. Others may need to make their way to God with the help of trusted friends, spiritual directors, coaches or counselors. Either way is beautiful because it means you are becoming more whole.

So…show it all to God. Tell it like it is. It’s already happening and God knows about it. You are not hiding just because you have your hands over your eyes. That toddler game of peek-a-boo is cute with a little one, but it is exhausting for us if we continue to play it as an adult.

Find the freedom you desire. Take that next small, simple and gracious step forward. The one that you can see. Don’t worry about all of the other steps. The grace for each of those will be there when you get there.

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her programs at the Unhurried Living website.

Frantic, Anxious Work May 09, 2022

Show notes

“Unnatural, frantic, anxious work, work done under pressure of greed or fear or any other inordinate passion, cannot properly speaking be dedicated to God, because God never wills such work directly.” (Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p. 19)

These words are a direct blow to my anxiety. Frantic work is never God’s invitation. Simply being reminded of this can be enough to quell the low hum of anxiety.

If I know anything about myself it’s this: I want all that I do to be dedicated to God. And if anything stands in the way of that, I want to stop doing it as soon as I am able.

So I’ll sink further into this reality: “The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need.”

The ways of Jesus are found in the Great Commandment, the Fruit of the Spirit, the Sermon on the Mount, Psalm 23, and more. We do not see Jesus moving frantically or anxiously.

Even with all of his interactions, he always shared underlying dynamic: “I do what the Father is doing. I say what the Father is saying.” He always knew what he was about and he felt no need to push or to burn the fuel of anxiety. Jesus was not frantic.

Identify an area of your life in which you are moving frantically or anxiously. Remember, as Merton said, God never wills such work. How might you make an inner shift that leads to working from a non-anxious heart?

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn about her at the Unhurried Living website.

Be a Ticket Holder to Your Own Life May 02, 2022

Show notes

Wherever I go, do I act as though I should be there or am I held back by self-doubt? Do I enter with holy confidence or am I hamstrung by fear? Do I engage with assured presence or am I pressed down by anxiety?

What if a “Beloved child of God” ticket was in my hand and I could use it at will. Like an eternal park hopper pass at Disneyland. Or like a never-ending entrance to the Cathedral in Florence.

Of course, I don’t need to wonder—because I am a beloved child of God. Jesus assures me of this. It isn’t in question.

How about this: the next time you stand on the threshold of a new opportunity, and fear raises its ugly head, look down into your hand and see your “Beloved child of God” ticket. Then proceed to enter in like any ticket holder would.

The next time you need to set a healthy boundary, look down into your hand, see your ticket, remember you are loved, and then continue to make your way.

The next time you want to enter more deeply into an unhurried way of life, and anxiety about your value-apart-from-production pops up, notice the ticket in your hand, and move forward.

Confidence in my belovedness can be at least as sure as when I hold a ticket to a concert and I know I’ll get in the door.

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn about her programs at the Unhurried Living website.

The Way of Love Apr 25, 2022

Show notes

Over the years I have grown tired of my own inner dialogue—whether I am doing the right things, being the right things, saying the right things, accomplishing the right things. And not simply in regard to my outer work life but also my inner spiritual life. I have worn myself out with shoulds and ought-tos.

What my heart truly seeks is peace. What it truly seeks is love. My simple, sighing prayer is, “I just want to be in Your love.”

Might that be your prayer too?

How does your heart long for God’s love?

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her on Unhurried Living Website.

You Are Not Forgotten Apr 18, 2022

Show notes

God is saying that even if a mother were to forget her children (which she won’t), God will never forget us. God is doubling down on how much he wants us to know that he will never withhold his love for us. God’s compassion is sure and you will not be forgotten.

This is important for us to hold onto as we continue to make our way through our lives. Life is difficult enough, let alone the last couple of years with the added strain of the pandemic. The weight has been, at time, unbearable for many.

In the midst of this is this vital message: You are not forgotten.

Which means that you are remembered with compassion. Let’s hold onto this truth and let it change us from the inside out.

Connect with Gem on Instagram or learn more about her at the Unhurried Living website.

Easter Week: Dying, Waiting, Rising Apr 11, 2022

Show notes

If you are in deep pain and are waiting in the process, Holy Saturday is the day on the church calendar when you are deeply, lovingly acknowledged. Waiting is real. The loss is real.

The disciples did not know about the resurrection to come the next day. They only knew their grief and loss.

We are here and now. We know how the story continues. Resurrection did come. But today we will sit in the unknowing, the loss, the confusion.

Let yourself be seen in this place. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's ok to await resurrection, but don't miss the beauty of the waiting.

Since this is Holy Week, I’m walking us briefly through the three movements of this weekend.

Dying. Waiting. Rising.

You can read and download this episode on the Unhurried Living blog so you can follow along and reflect on each day Holy Week.

Nothing is Wasted Apr 04, 2022

Show notes

I wonder if you, like me, had a small handful of childhood dreams. It might time to reflect back on them. See if you can uncover your heart’s desire inside a child’s wish. You may just find your next steps in the hands of your inner child. Tucked within may be keys to how you might want to express yourself even now.

Here’s your “I Can Do That!” for this week:

Take a few minutes this week to reflect on your childhood career choices, or even just any memories you have of childhood dreams. Notice if there is an aspect of that in you right now. How might you want to express that more fully here and now in your adult life?

Remember, you’re making your way forward one small, simple and gracious step at a time.

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