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How To! with Charles Duhigg — Education
How To! with Charles Duhigg

You’ve got questions. We find answers.

We all need advice, but it’s not always clear who to ask. Each week, we invite a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying “um” – all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers – who actually know what they’re talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else’s therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

Copyright: © Slate Magazine 2019

Latest Episodes:

How To Stand Up for Your Kid When Society Won't Jun 16, 2020

Show notes

Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don't identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she's struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren't very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fellow mom of a nonbinary child and former president of PFLAG Oklahoma City, to help Karin come to terms with her child's gender identity. Parents are going to make mistakes along the way, Lisa says, but it's important to share what you learn with others. The more you advocate for them, the more accepting the world becomes.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Walk Away from an Impossible Parent Jun 09, 2020

Show notes

When Sydney's dad texted her, "Do me a favor and lose my number," she was crushed. At 27, Sydney has always had a rocky relationship with her dad, but she held out hope he could still be a part of her life. Now she's starting to think it's a lost cause. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and author of the upcoming book Rules of Estrangement, who had his own yearslong standoff with his daughter. Before Sydney figures out if she should reconcile with her dad, Josh says, she has to stop internalizing how he treats her. It's the parent's job to be mature and if they can't do that, you shouldn't beat yourself up over their failings. In the end, the best thing may be to just move on without them.

Do you need us to find an answer to a tough question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Find a New Career Before it's Too Late Jun 02, 2020

Show notes

Donny is ready to leave the restaurant industry once and for all. As a recovering alcoholic, he was already looking for a new career before COVID-19 upended his life. But at 38 years old, Donny has held 30 different jobs, and without a bachelor's degree, he worries that he doesn't have what employers are looking for. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Jessi Hempel, host of the LinkedIn podcast Hello Monday, to help Donny kickstart a new career...during a pandemic. According to Jessi, now is actually a great time to do informational interviews—virtually, if necessary—to expand your network and broaden your horizons. She says it's important to realize that experience comes in many forms. People skills, not perfect resumes, can ultimately help you get hired.

Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Get a Stubborn Parent to Listen May 26, 2020

Show notes

Alan's 86-year-old dad will not stop driving—even after an incident where he drove off the road and totaled his car. Feeling guilty and worried, Alan has tried to convince his dad to hand over the keys, even enlisting the support of his father's doctor, but everything Alan does seems to backfire. In this episode of How To!, Saturday Night Live comedian Jim Breuer shares his own experience dealing with a curmudgeonly father as chronicled in the documentary More Than Me. Jim says to reach an aging parent who is set in their ways, don't try to replace them as the parent. Instead, realize they're facing their own mortality and give them a sense of control. Let your dad be a dad, then ask for some fatherly advice: "What would you do if you were me?"

Do you have a problem that needs a solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time May 19, 2020

Show notes

Ann's sister just lost her husband and Ann doesn't know how to console her. Ann lives in a different state and, having experienced loss herself, knows saying the wrong thing can only add to the hurt. What can Ann do from a distance to make her sister feel better? In this episode of How To!, Megan Devine, a psychotherapist and author of It's OK That You're Not OK, says first of all don't try to cheer them up. Simply acknowledge their pain. Megan learned this the hard way after the sudden loss of her partner in a tragic accident. The classic five stages of grief are problematic, Megan says, because grief doesn't progress in an orderly fashion. To help a loved one, don't put the burden on them to figure out how you can help. Instead, anticipate and act on what they need to get by day-to-day.

Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Lose 155 Pounds Happily May 12, 2020

Show notes

Ashley thought by now she'd be on top of the world. Once severely overweight, Ashley lost 155 pounds and recently ran her first half-marathon. But when she looks in the mirror all she sees are the imperfections. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Brittany O'Neill, the real-life inspiration for the hit movie Brittany Runs a Marathon. Having undergone a major transformation herself, Brittany knows what it's like to feel unhappy after you've crossed the finish line. Constant self-improvement doesn't necessarily lead to self-acceptance, Brittany says. Instead, learn to view yourself through your loved ones' eyes—even say their praises aloud—and soon, you'll see what they see.

Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Talk to Strangers May 05, 2020

Show notes

Every other Friday, Amy's calendar reminds her to make the rounds of her office and say "hello" to her colleagues. As an introvert, Amy deeply struggles with small talk, but as a manager of 55 people she's been told she needs to be more approachable. In this episode of How To!, Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, helps Amy learn how to use her reserved nature to her advantage. Whether you're anxious about networking at conferences or wondering how to talk to your neighbors—from six feet away—Susan has some tips for how all of us can have better conversations. It takes practice, Susan says, so don't be afraid to have a few opening lines in your back pocket.

What are your toughest challenges during the pandemic? And what have you found is working for you? Leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We're collecting your problems and solutions for our recurring Quarantine Q&A.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Actually Enjoy Working from Home Apr 28, 2020

Show notes

Joanna really misses her office. Taking Zoom calls from the kitchen in her dimly lit Brooklyn apartment doesn't compare to her bright, open office filled with friendly co-workers. In this episode of How To!, Ben Waber, an organizational scientist, co-founder of Humanyze, and author of People Analytics, tells us how to use our home office to our advantage. It's easy to spend all day chained to your computer, but Ben says we need to find ways to take breaks and foster human interaction. After all, chats around the water cooler—or virtual coffee dates—actually boost productivity. And if you're Joanna, a midday bath might be where you come up with your best ideas.

What are your toughest challenges during the pandemic? And what have you found is working for you? Leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We're collecting your problems and solutions for our recurring Quarantine Q&A.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Save the Planet (And Still Use a Plastic Straw) Apr 21, 2020

Show notes

Caleb tries to be good to the planet by recycling, biking to work and living a minimalist lifestyle in his small Ohio town. But he still feels guilty about using disposable diapers and buying a minivan for his growing family. How can he fight climate change without driving himself crazy? In this episode of How To!, Emma Marris, an environmental writer and author of Rambunctious Garden, warns us not to fall into the trap of individual guilt. In other words, don't feel too bad about using that plastic straw. Emma says that plays into the hands of the fossil fuel industry. Instead, reallocate your time and energy toward collective action that works to make large-scale systems more eco-friendly.

What are your toughest challenges during the pandemic? And what have you found is working for you? Leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We're collecting your problems and solutions for our recurring Quarantine Q&A.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Stop Procrastinating Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

Marie trains dogs for a living, but she's struggling to teach herself a new trick—overcoming procrastination. For a year, she's been ready to launch a new dog training app....just as soon as she makes the training videos for it. The delay is hurting business so why can't she cross this task off her to-do list? In this episode of How To!, Dan Ariely, professor at Duke University and author of Predictably Irrational, shares some procrastination tips that got him through a tough time in his own life. When a difficult task looms in front of you, Dan says, reward yourself for the effort, not the outcome. Otherwise, you may never get started.

What is your steepest challenge during the pandemic? And what have you found is working for you? Leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. We're collecting your problems and solutions for our recurring Quarantine Q&A.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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