How To Not Lose Your Sh!t

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Okay, But Why is Gay Marriage at Risk? Aug 27, 2025

Show notes

In June of 2015, the Supreme Court made history by ruling that Jim Obergefell and other same-sex couples deserve the right to have their marriages legally recognized — not just in a few states, but across the country.
It’s strange to think that only happened ten years ago. Gay couples across the country have only had the right to marry the person they love since the year of Jurassic World and the first run of Hamilton and that dress on the internet that nobody could agree was blue and black or white and gold. And it was only eleven years before that, in 2004, that the very first legal gay wedding was held anywhere in the country.
As we saw with Roe v Wade, though, Supreme Court cases can be overturned and rights can be taken away. Right now, there’s real concern that the Supreme Court will re-examine Obergefell in the next year. In 2022, after Roe v Wade was struck down, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote that the Court should turn their attention to other cases of equal rights… like Obergefell.
And now, he might get his chance. Kentucky country clerk Kim Davis filed an official petition this month asking the Supreme Court to re-examine the case.
Yes, that Kim Davis. The one who went to jail for 5 days in 2015 for refusing to sign marriage licenses for gay couples. Doesn’t she have better things to do than work this hard to take away other people’s rights?
We have more than a decade of studies now that prove how much of a difference the right to marry has made for gay couples across the country. Married same-sex couples report better life satisfaction, better physical health, and higher rates of homeownership than unmarried same-sex couples. Once married, they can get on each other’s health insurance, file taxes jointly, and act as legal next of kin in cases of life or death.
By contrast, not a single study has been able to prove any negative effects. Divorce rates across the board have fallen for all types of married couples and children of same-sex couples have the same educational and health outcomes as those in a household with a mother and father.
The majority of Americans believe in marriage equality and the separation of church and state. But for hundreds of thousands of gay couples across the country, the right to get married isn’t abstract — it affects their daily lives, their finances, their health, and their family.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
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Okay, But Why is AI a Concern? Aug 20, 2025

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Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is everywhere these days. Some people think it’s the solution to all of humanity’s problems and some think it’s going to bring about the end of life as we know it. The truth, as usual, is somewhere in between. But with so many different opinions and so many ways that AI can be used, it’s hard to know exactly what to believe.
There’s no denying that AI has enabled some incredible scientific breakthroughs, like new tests for cancer and new tools to communicate with whales. But it often makes factual mistakes, inventing information that never existed. AI developers call these “hallucinations,” and according to tests done by the company OpenAI, the hallucination rates of newer AI systems were as high as 79%. That’s a 79% chance that a piece of information given to you by AI is just fully made up.
It’s having a huge impact on education and our already-low literacy rates. Teachers say that an increasing number of students are using ChatGPT to complete their assignments. They’re even using AI for friendship and therapy, sometimes with tragic results. Adults are using AI too to write emails, summarize articles, or just help them bake a cake — harmless enough until we, like the women at the start of this video, can’t function without help from our “best friend who is also a robot.”
And this isn’t even to mention the enormous environmental toll of AI data processing centers. The carbon emissions from Google alone have risen 65% in the past 5 years because of the increased demand for AI.
People have dreamed of the day that machines can take over our mundane and mindless tasks, but instead, right now AI is taking over the things that make us the most human: learning, communicating with each other, art, and friendship. It’s especially concerning when those changes are happening to our kids, who don’t have the experience or wisdom to know when to use AI and when to use their own brain.
We can’t stop the forward march of progress, but we need to be very mindful of the world we’re creating. Genuine connection is the most valuable thing we have. It’s what makes us human. Let’s make sure we don’t lose it.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
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Okay, But Why Is Gerrymandering Legal? Aug 13, 2025

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Gerrymandering is one of those things that makes people tune out of politics. It doesn’t just sound technical and complicated, it feels so far outside our control. But it’s important to understand because we all deserve to have our votes count. Gerrymandering is basically politicians picking their voters, instead of the other way around. And in Texas, Democratic reps like Ann Johnson are standing up for voters.

Both parties have been known to participate in gerrymandering, but over the past few decades, it’s mostly been Republicans manipulating the maps. That’s not political speculation — many Republican leaders have come right out and said so. They even have an official project, named Operation REDMAP, which stands for Republican Redistricting Majority Project. And unfortunately, so far the project has been extremely successful.

You may wonder… how is this even legal?

Racial gerrymandering has been outlawed since the Voting Rights Act of 1965, but the Supreme Court keeps ruling that partisan gerrymandering is fine. So what’s happening in Texas, where President Trump asked Republican reps to redraw district lines to favor himself, may be wrong and anti-democratic but it’s not illegal. As Rep. Mitch Little said in an interview, “we’re doing it because we can.”

We’re grateful to Democratic representatives like Ann Johnson who are fighting back against gerrymandering. And we’re very excited that she’ll be joining Red Wine & Blue on Monday to talk about what’s going on in Texas! You can sign up for our Don’t Mess With Texas virtual event here.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
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Okay, But Why Were The Suburbs Shaped By Racism? Aug 06, 2025

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For nearly a century, the suburbs have been a cornerstone of the American Dream. But for almost as long, some people have criticized the suburbs for being too conformist, too dependent on cars, and to be blunt, too… white.
We know that the suburbs have been diversifying over the past few decades, and today “suburban woman” isn’t just code for “white woman” — no matter how much the media tries to simplify us. But there’s no denying that the suburbs have excluded families who weren’t white for most of their history, and if we’re not careful, they will again in the future.
President Trump has long tried to win over suburban women by scaring us, telling us that low-income housing (or immigrants, or Black people, or whoever is on his mind that day) will plunge the suburbs into crime and chaos. But not only is there no evidence for his claims, suburban women love their neighbors. We know that our diversity is our strength.
Trump wants to take us back in time to the days of “whites-only” suburbs by ending fair housing rules and investigations of discrimination. It’s up to us to say no way.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Okay, But Why Do Nine People Get To Decide Our Rights? Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

The Supreme Court gets to make decisions that affect our most fundamental rights. When it ruled on Roe vs Wade in 1973 and then overturned that ruling in 2022, it determined our ability to access reproductive care. And in 2015, their ruling on Obergefell vs Hodges gave same-sex couples the right to marry the person they love. Just last year, they ruled that Trump has absolute immunity for “official acts” he commits as President.

It’s concerning enough to think that they’re ruling along party lines, since there are currently six Justices appointed by Republican presidents and only three appointed by Democrats. But the Supreme Court also has no official standards of ethics. Just think — the highest court in the country, making these incredibly important decisions, with nothing stopping them from ruling according to extremist ideology or even greed.

Justice Clarence Thomas, for instance, has accepted millions of dollars of gifts from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow. And his wife Ginni is a far-right extremist who pushed for Republicans to overturn the results of the 2020 election. How could we possibly trust him to rule fairly on a case like Trump vs The United States?

Congress has the power to change the way that the Supreme Court works — from rules about ethics, to how many Justices there are, to whether they should have lifetime appointments. So talk to the people in your life about the Supreme Court. We deserve to know if these decisions are being inspired by a deep understanding of the Constitution… or a million-dollar vacation to Bali.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
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Okay, But Why Are People Drawn To Conspiracy Theories? Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

Conspiracy theories might be having a moment, but they’re as old as civilization itself.
In 64 AD, for example, the Great Fire of Rome sparked competing theories over who started the fire and why. And just like many of today’s conspiracy theories, it resulted in suffering and innocent deaths — Emperor Nero accused Christians of lighting the fire, which led to many being crucified or burned alive.
Conspiracy theories often arise in times of social crisis. When humans are feeling afraid, like the world is out of control, we turn to simple explanations that help us make sense of things. So it’s no surprise that such theories are on the rise in this moment of turmoil and political chaos.
It doesn’t help that many members of the Trump Administration are actively encouraging disinformation. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., in particular, has embraced lies about vaccines, chem-trails, and AIDS (just to name a few). In 2019, he traveled to the island of Samoa to sew distrust of vaccines… and shortly after, a measles outbreak killed nearly 100 people. Now, only 6 years later, he’s the US Secretary of Health and Human Services.
If someone you know is in the grip of a conspiracy theory, whether it’s as high-stakes as vaccinations or as random as believing the Earth is flat, it’s tempting to think we can argue them out of it. But unfortunately, fact-checking isn’t an effective way to refute disinformation. Arguing makes people double down on their beliefs; even just repeating the lie further embeds it in their mind. Instead, it’s better to ask questions that might lead to them questioning the conspiracy theory — maybe today, or maybe a year from now. Like democracy, this is a long-term project that’ll only work if we lean in to compassion and community.
This isn’t to say that we should always take everything at face value, especially when leaders as high as RFK Jr. are spreading disinformation. But science and facts are out there, even amidst the wild internet rabbit holes it’s increasingly easy to fall into. If we hold onto our values, pay attention to experts, value evidence, and treat each other with respect, we can all make it through this moment of turmoil… together.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Okay, But Why Do Billionaires Have Our Data? Jul 16, 2025

Show notes

Since January, Americans have had serious concerns about Elon Musk’s DOGE (the “Department of Government Efficiency”) and the privacy of our personal data.
The government used to have careful guardrails in place to protect our information. Only certain people, after careful background checks, were given access. But DOGE was given unprecedented access to all of our data, across departments and agencies. And because Trump fast-tracked DOGE with an executive order, employees didn’t have to go through the same background checks and screenings. Many were teenagers, including the now infamous 19-year-old hacker whose online name is (sigh) “Big Balls.”
Okay, but Elon is gone now. So does that mean DOGE is over?
Unfortunately, no. DOGE was never an official government agency (it just hijacked the existing US Digital Service), and Elon Musk was never officially in charge of it, so even without Elon, the work continues. A former DOGE employee is now the chief of staff at the Department of Energy, for example, and two former DOGE members are now senior officials at the Environmental Protection Agency. “Big Balls” himself is now working at the Social Security Administration.
Meanwhile, Peter Thiel—another billionaire and the founder of the tech company Palantir—has been working to build a massive, government-run database of Americans. The goal is a one-stop shop with all of our information, from tax returns to medical records, all in the same place. You know, exactly the thing the government has always known not to do.
Privacy used to be nonpartisan. Back in the 1970s, Republican Senator Charles Percy said, “I hope that we never see the day when a bureaucrat in Washington can use his organization's computer facilities to assemble a complete dossier of all known information about an individual.” Even in the past few years, data privacy has been an issue that transcends political parties.
So reach out to your representatives, no matter where you live, to let them know that you don’t want billionaires to have your data. And if all of this feels too overwhelming, try getting involved in your local community. We might not be able to do much about what’s happening with our information, but we can make things better for our neighbors.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Okay, But Why Does Your Garden Matter? Jul 09, 2025

Show notes

Climate change is a lot of things: big, scary, scientifically-accurate. And as we just saw in Texas, it’s not just a matter of principles or talking points. It’s causing tragedies in our own country and around the globe.

In the face of such an overwhelming issue, it can be hard to know what we as individuals can do. Of course we can donate to environmental causes and vote for leaders who prioritize climate policy, but there’s something else that’s as close to home as our own backyard. Gardening!

By expanding our backyard gardens to include plants for native pollinators, we can make a difference in our own local ecosystem. Bees and butterflies are some of the most common pollinators, but hummingbirds, moths, beetles, and even bats can also be part of the process. Unfortunately, many parts of the world have been seeing declines in pollinator populations. A 2017 report done for the Center of Biological Diversity found that nearly 1 in 4 species of native bees are now at risk of extinction. Monarch butterflies, meanwhile, have declined more than 80% in the last 30 years.

And that’s a big deal! At least 75% of all flowering plants on Earth are pollinated by insects and animals, including almost all of the food we eat. In fact, farmers estimate that pollinators are responsible for 1 out of 3 bites of food we take every day.

And yet, the Trump administration seems intent on making the situation worse. Since the start of Trump’s second term, his administration has fired hundreds of climate and weather scientists. He wants to start drilling for oil on pristine lands full of native plants and animals and roll back protections for migratory birds. And he wants logging companies to be able to cut down some of our National Forests. He even named a lobbyist for the logging industry, Tom Schultz, as the new head of the U.S. Forest Service.

There’s no denying that this all feels overwhelming. But “think global, act local” doesn’t only apply to your community’s school board or city council. You can make a difference just by planting more native species that are good for pollinators. Not only are the beauty and fresh air good for your mental health, you’ll be directly improving the environment in your area.

And that is why your garden matters!

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Okay, But Why Do We Celebrate the 4th of July? Jul 02, 2025

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This week is the 4th of July, which means we’re celebrating American independence. But what exactly is it that we’re celebrating? What’s so special about American democracy, and how does it work? And with everything going on in politics, should we be celebrating at all?

In a word: yes. America was founded on the principles of liberty, justice, and freedom from the tyranny of kings. And those ideals are as revolutionary today as they were in 1776.

This week’s episode of Okay, But Why takes a step back into history and examines the founding of our nation, from indigenous cultures to European colonies to the Declaration of Independence. The documents drawn up by the Founding Fathers created the rules for the democracy we have today. They shouldn’t be partisan; they’re as American as… well, the 4th of July!

We cover some things you may have already heard about — like the Boston Tea Party — alongside some lesser-known things like the fact that the first man killed in the Revolutionary War was a Black man, Crispus Attucks. Did you know that Georgia sat out the first Continental Congress? Or that Trump’s executive order to end birthright citizenship violates the 14th Amendment of the Constitution?

What we celebrate on Independence Day is about more than a document. It’s about a change in mindset – that people deserve the right to determine their own future, rather than one powerful man sitting on a throne. Simply being elected to office doesn’t give a president the right to violate the Constitution.

Look, is a document from 250 years ago perfect? Of course not. White land-owning men were the only ones who got to have those “unalienable rights,” for starters. That’s why Congress has updated it with amendments in the years since, starting with the 1st Amendment granting us the freedom of speech in 1791. But as the foundation of our democracy, the Constitution is a powerful thing. That’s why people called June 14th “No Kings Day” and it’s why we’re celebrating the 4th of July.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Okay, But Why Are So Many People Talking About Trans Kids? Jun 25, 2025

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There’s a lot to be stressed about right now. We’re seeing the dissolution of our democratic norms and ideals before our very eyes.

But extremists don’t want us thinking about democracy. They want us thinking about the 5 trans kids who wanted to play soccer this year.

Just so far this year, over 900 anti-trans bills are under consideration across the country. The majority apply to kids, particularly in school. Some of the laws are frankly terrifying, like one in Florida that requires genital inspections for any kid suspected of being trans. Genital. Inspections. Of Kids.

But even anti-trans organizations can’t find more than five trans kids playing on girls’ sports teams. And at the college level, NCAA president Charlie Baker said that there are fewer than 10 transgender athletes who currently compete in college sports. That’s less than 0.002 percent!

There’s a lot of well-meaning concern for trans kids out there, but doctors are not giving children gender-affirming surgery. A Harvard study in 2019 found zero cases of gender surgery in kids under the age of 12. And for the small number of teenagers who were given surgery (2.1 per 100,000 teens), the vast majority are breast reductions for boys who aren’t trans. 97% of gender-affirming surgeries on minors are for boys who were born as boys and identify as boys and just want a smaller chest so they can continue to feel like boys.

Somehow that statistic rarely comes up when politicians are out there making speeches and passing bills against trans kids. By scaring people with fake information, politicians can drum up support while passing laws that actually harm Americans – not just trans kids, but all of us.

If you’re feeling burned out on bad news, or even burned out on empathy, we understand. But this Pride Month, we have to let trans kids know we’re paying attention and we care.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

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