How To Not Lose Your Sh!t

Latest Episodes:

They're Just Kids (with Chasten Buttigieg) Feb 24, 2025

Show notes

In case you haven’t heard, The Suburban Women Problem is wrapping up next week to make way for new podcasts out of Red Wine & Blue. As the producer of the podcast, I’m so grateful to Rachel, Jasmine and Amanda for 4 years of great conversations, and to you, our listeners, for joining us on this journey.

All endings are sad, but I want to assure everyone that this really isn’t good-bye. We’re developing new podcasts to meet the moment and we can’t wait to share them with you.

But for this week, I wanted to give The Suburban Women Problem the celebration it deserves. Every day, I’ll be reposting old episodes that were particularly meaningful for us – and, I hope, for you too. I’m starting with our very first regular episode, Season 1 Episode 2, where we talked to Jamie Jara, the mom of a trans daughter, along with the delightful Chasten Buttigieg. It’s amazing how far we’ve come, and yet how much we’re still dealing with these very same issues.

There’s one interpretation of this episode that’s awfully depressing. Trump is president again, and people in the LGBTQ community– especially trans kids – are under attack more than ever.

But it’s important to say this too. Four years later, Jamie Jara and her daughter Dempsey are thriving. Dempsey dreams of becoming of an actress and actually appeared in the HBO show We’re Here and was even on stage at the 2023 GLAAD Awards to help accept an award for the show.

And Chasten Buttigieg is thriving too! He’s continued to publish books and even better, he and Pete become parents of twins.

The political landscape may be grim, but they cannot take our joy. And that itself is an act of resistance.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
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The Truth Tastes Of Freedom (with Martha Beck) Feb 19, 2025

Show notes

We talk a lot about self-care, but there aren’t enough bubble baths in the world to make us feel better about the news lately. Federal employees are losing their jobs. RFK is against anti-depressants and ADHD medication. Elon Musk is giving press conferences in the Oval Office. Everything feels terrifying, and for good reason.

So maybe manicures and bubble baths aren’t the self-care we really need. (Although of course we love both!) Maybe the self-care we need is quieter. More compassionate. More creative. More about community.

This week, we were honored to talk to author, sociologist, and life coach Martha Beck. Her latest book is “Beyond Anxiety” and who among us couldn’t use some tips for getting beyond anxiety these days? She tells us about how we can counter the “anxiety spiral” with a “creativity spiral” and how community is the most powerful and intrinsic part of humanity.

Martha talked Amanda and Katie Paris through their own anxieties and gave us so much wisdom that will definitely help us get through the next four years. We hope you get as much out of the conversation as we did.

This is the last official interview of The Suburban Women Problem, but we'd love to hear from you about what the podcast has meant to you. We'll read those listener notes on our final episode on March 5th!

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Why Is That Political? (with LaFonda Cousin) Feb 12, 2025

Show notes

Before we get into today's episode, we have an important announcement: after 4 years and 200 episodes, we are bringing The Suburban Women Problem to a close and starting something new. If you’ve been a loyal listener of the show, we know that might be hard. It's hard for us too. But this show was created in 2021 and the political world is so different now - we want to meet the moment and create new kinds of content that support meaningful action in this difficult time.

We’ve been hearing from our community that so many of you are overwhelmed. Many of us are struggling with grief, fear, and burn-out, unable to engage with the news. So we’re planning some content that helps our community stay informed and inspired without getting overwhelmed by the daily news cycle.

We’ll have a regular episode next week, followed by a week of celebration with all of our favorite conversations. Our last episode of The Suburban Women Problem will air on March 5th, and after that, we’ll have all kinds of exciting new content here on the same podcast feed as always. We are so grateful for everyone who’s become part of the SWP community and we can’t wait to start a new adventure with you.

With that said, this week our hosts had a great conversation with Red Wine & Blue COO (and yoga teacher!) LaFonda Cousin about self-care and why so many rights we're fighting for right now should never have become "political" in the first place.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

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The People Are Here, Baby (with Torrie Oglesby) Feb 05, 2025

Show notes

In North Carolina, Republicans are trying to throw out more than 60,000 votes and overturn the 2024 election results of a race for NC Supreme Court. You read that right — 60,000 votes.

But Kate Barr (who actually was on the pod back in November) pulled together a powerful protest: reading all 60,000 names aloud at the state Supreme Court to give voice to all of those voters. Red Wine & Blue organizers in North Carolina pitched in, including this week’s guest Torrie Oglesby, by reading names and calling those voters to let them know what’s going on. We don’t have a ruling yet, but Torrie believes that their protest has sent a powerful message.

It’s hard not to feel powerless in the face of everything happening right now. But there are so many ways to stand up for our values. From creative protests like the read-in in North Carolina to showing up at a local school board meeting to supporting our friends and neighbors, there’s a lot we can do.

Some of us need to keep up on daily news to know what we’re fighting against. Some need to protest, some need to create content, some need to start a local advocacy group, some need to make dinner for a struggling mom down the street. When we work together, we’re strong. And that’s how we’re going to get through this.

If you want help finding your people, check out TroubleNation!

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

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Troublemakers vs Chaos Causers (with Kristi Hirst) Jan 29, 2025

Show notes

Here at Red Wine & Blue, we talk a lot about “troublemakers” and “making good trouble” (inspired in part by the late great John Lewis). Our network TroubleNation is made up of hundreds of local grassroots groups across the country — women like Kristi, a mom and former teacher in California who’s been standing up for the public schools in her area.

Troublemakers band together with other badass women in their communities who share their values. They make things better for their kids, friends, and neighbors. On the other hand, “chaos causers,” as Kristi calls them in this week’s podcast episode, come in from the outside to disrupt communities. Groups like Moms for Liberty and the Proud Boys aren’t listening to local communities and they certainly aren’t making good trouble. They’re just causing chaos.

This week we talked to Kristi about how she and a group of other moms started getting together to drink wine and talk about how to stand up for their local schools. You can learn more in this video about how they found the courage to stand up to literal armed extremists in their schools. Kristi also started an organization called Our Schools USA dedicated to empowering parents and students to protect quality public education.

The last week has been filled with bad news on the national level. Trump is the ultimate chaos causer and it can be hard to stay positive in the face of his many (many many) harmful policies. But there are a lot of women like Kristi out there making good trouble and standing up to the chaos causers. When they go low, we go local.
Let's thank Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde for standing up to Donald Trump and calling for mercy — especially immigrants and LGBTQ+ children. You can add your name to our petition here.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

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Keep Calm and Listen to Heather Cox Richardson Jan 22, 2025

Show notes

On Inauguration Eve, Red Wine & Blue held a live virtual event with our favorite historian, Heather Cox Richardson. Heather helped us put things into perspective and reminded us that small groups of people can change history.
Over 22,000 people attended the Zoom call, 24,000 watched it on YouTube, and almost 120,000 streamed it on Heather's Facebook page. This is a moment where we can fall apart or all come together to make change - and it's clear which option this community is choosing.
If you missed Sunday night's event, we wanted to share it with everyone right here on The Suburban Women Problem.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

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The New Girls Network (with A'shanti Gholar) Jan 15, 2025

Show notes

Emotions are running high this week. But while things remain disheartening on the national stage, we’re still celebrating wins on the state and local level. In Virginia, for instance, Democrats just won their special elections for the State Assembly. Not only that, but they won by even bigger margins than expected. And in Ohio, Amanda’s husband Casey has been working hard on a law that helps kids access hearing aids. Last week, the bill was finally signed into law.

These are the kinds of stories that get missed in the 24/7 coverage of the Latest Terrible Thing That Trump Said. Progress is still happening. We just need to look closer to home.

This week, we’re joined by A’shanti Gholar, the president of Emerge, an organization that recruits and trains Democratic women to run for office. She’s surprisingly upbeat and hopeful — or maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising. Despite our painful losses on the national level, Emerge had 570 candidates on the ballot last year with close to a 70% win rate. That’s so many amazing women who are now in office, working to improve their communities.

Whether you want to watch next week’s inauguration or not, just like whether you want to keep consuming national political news, is completely up to you. We need to take care of ourselves and our mental health if we want to keep showing up for our families and communities over the next four years. Just know that there are over 520,000 elected offices in this country and change is possible at all levels. The power of the “new girls network” is only growing.

Speaking of the inauguration and emotions running high, nobody keeps us calm like Heather Cox Richardson. She’ll be joining us for a live virtual event on Inauguration Eve to help put things into perspective and remind us that small groups of people can change history. You can click here to learn more and RSVP for that event, and if you can’t make it live, you can hear Heather in the next episode of The Suburban Women Problem.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It's OK to be Afraid (with Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan) Jan 08, 2025

Show notes

We're back from our holiday break and things are… weird. Right? It’s weird and scary to be here again, with Trump about to step into the office of President. It’s like some terrible episode of The Twilight Zone.

If we’re going to get through the next four years, we need to take care of ourselves, plug into our local communities and above all, find ways to stay resilient. And luckily, this week we’re joined by Minnesota Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan, a suburban mom whose resilience we can all look up to.

Her father was an Ojibwe activist, and if anyone knows how to keep fighting in the face of overwhelming odds, it’s an indigenous elder. Lt. Gov. Flanagan shared his wisdom about not giving up our power in advance and remembering to find the joy in our lives. It’s ok to be afraid — how could we not be? — but if we take care of ourselves and drown out the political noise, there is still so much good work we can do.
Even if she didn’t get to be the first Native American woman to serve as governor, Peggy Flanagan is certain that whoever that woman will be, she’s already on her way. There is plenty of light in the darkness if we just keep looking for it. We’re more resilient than we might think.

If you're interested in joining Red Wine & Blue's "Banned Book Club," next week we're reading Timothy Snyder's "On Tyranny." You can learn more and RSVP here.

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

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We All Deserve To Belong (with Dr. Nichole Argo) Dec 18, 2024

Show notes

It’s our last podcast episode of the year, so today we wanted to leave you with a broader view of community and our shared humanity. We talked to Dr. Nichole Argo, a social psychologist and the author of The Belonging Barometer: The State of Belonging in America. She’s also the host of a new podcast called Reimagining Us.

But before Rachel’s chat with Dr. Nichole, she and Jasmine did cover some of the more unsettling news of the week - like the threat of RFK Jr. revoking the polio vaccine (really, polio??), TIME choosing Trump as their “person of the year,” and ABC settling their defamation lawsuit with Trump for 15 million dollars.

We’re all worried about what will happen over the next four years, and with good reason. But the first rule of resisting authoritarianism, as seen in Timothy Snyder’s On Tyranny, is “don’t obey in advance.” We’re disheartened by the preemptive obedience we’re seeing (we’re looking at you, ABC) and you can rest assured that here at Red Wine & Blue, we’re doing no such thing.

Resistance, however, doesn’t mean widening the divisions between ourselves and our fellow Americans. It’s no secret that political polarization is worse than it’s been in a long time. Dr. Nichole says that in the past, we used to see disagreements as a positive thing - prompting introspection and innovation. Now, many Americans see any disagreement as evidence that their opponent is an evil villain who must be defeated. If we want that to change, we have to be a part of the solution too.

It won’t be easy, and none of us will be able to manage it all the time. But Dr. Nichole reminded us that building bridges doesn’t mean obeying in advance. We can stand firm on our values and try to reconnect with our neighbors’ humanity.

It’s a real tightrope walk, but we can’t think of anyone more equipped to pull it off than suburban women.
If you want to support Red Wine & Blue as we build community and stand up against extremism in 2025, please donate here. Have a restful two weeks and we'll see you in January!

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When They Go Low, We Go Local (with Blue Storm Action PA) Dec 11, 2024

Show notes

There’s no denying that it’s a weird time right now. We’re in the “lame duck session” between an election and the start of a new term. We’re all nervous about the incoming administration, but there isn’t much we can do yet. If you feel like we’re about to head off a cliff but we can’t hit the brakes, you’re not alone.
We’ve talked about Trump’s Cabinet picks during the past few episodes, but some of his nominees are so bad that they’re actually getting pushback from Republicans. Matt Gaetz withdrew as Attorney General nominee, and Pete Hegseth’s candidacy is being hotly debated by folks on both sides of the aisle. We know the reasons Hegseth shouldn’t be Secretary of Defense (harassment, misogyny, alcohol abuse) but what we can’t figure out is why he should lead the most powerful military in the world.
But when they go low, we go local. There might not be much we can do right now about the impending Trump administration, but there’s a lot we can do in our own communities. This week we talked to Angela and Meghan, two friends who started a group called Blue Storm Action Pennsylvania. When they realized their book club was spending more time talking about politics than books, they decided to make it official and formed a local advocacy group that’s grown to include dozens of women.
It’s hard not to be scared or furious about the next four years. But just like Angela and Meghan, you have more power than you think! Grab a few friends and see what you can accomplish together.
The holidays are almost here, and with all of the chaos and stress of the election, finding the perfect gift for everyone in our life feels overwhelming. But this season, Red Wine & Blue is going all in on banned books! We’ve got something for every reader on your list, from toddlers to grandparents, and everyone in-between. You can check out our holiday gift guide here!

For a transcript of this episode, please email comms@redwine.blue.
You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Instagram: @RedWineBlueUSA

Facebook: @RedWineBlueUSA

YouTube: @RedWineBlueUSA

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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