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    Arts

    How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

    Every success story you’ve ever been told is incomplete. How To Fail with Elizabeth Day is the part they leave out.

    Each week, Sunday Times #1 bestselling author Elizabeth Day sits down with someone extraordinary – and asks them about the moments that didn’t go according to plan and how these failures shaped them. 

    Kate Winslet on body image. Malala Yousafzai on rewriting her story. Pamela Anderson on refuting shame. Phoebe Waller-Bridge on creativity. Salman Rushdie on survival. Emilia Clarke on fame. What happens when the people you most admire stop performing and start telling the truth? Five hundred episodes in, we’re still finding out.

    With sold-out nights at the London Palladium and Sydney Opera House, millions of listeners worldwide, and a British Podcast Award to its name, How To Fail is one of the UK’s most successful podcasts. And yes, we’re aware of the irony. 

    Pick an episode. Start anywhere.

    An Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment production.

    All guest booking is managed from an official Sony Music email address.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow @sonypodcastsTo bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

    Advertise

    Copyright: © Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment

    • Apple Podcasts
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    Latest Episodes:
    Anthony Scaramucci - My Biggest Failure? Working For Donald Trump Oct 14, 2026
    Show notes

    Scaramucci’s 11-day tenure as the White House Communications Chief under President Donald Trump’s first term ended in a blaze of recrimination. Scaramucci was advised by a PR consultant to disappear for five years. He refused - and reinvented his career.

    Now, he is the co-host of the US version of The Rest is Politics podcast alongside British journalist Katty Kay.

    After Harvard Law School, he joined Goldman Sachs and built a career in finance, eventually founding the investment firm SkyBridge Capital.

    In this revealing conversation we discuss what working on Wall Street in the 80s was like, getting fired from Goldman Sachs, his failed first marriage, not being there for his son’s birth, getting fired from The White House and rebuilding his current marriage.

    His book, All the Wrong Moves, looks at how three catastrophic decisions and years of ‘sh*tshow politics’ led to Trump.


    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Introduction montage

    03:22 Learning optimism and pronoia

    05:02 Self forgiveness after failure

    06:40 Growing up and getting to Tufts

    11:58 Why he wrote the book

    14:03 Fired then rehired at Goldman

    25:23 Money mindset and marriage cracks

    30:48 Work Taxes Burnout

    31:26 Marriage Neglect Regrets

    34:07 Conflict Avoidance Trap

    34:55 Affair Self Forgiveness

    37:46 Fatherhood After Divorce

    40:44 Trump Ego Decision

    45:00 Firing from The Whitehouse

    57:03 Rebuilding and Looking Ahead


    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    When bad things happen, take a step back, and get into a channel that is the adult channel. Act in a rational way.


    I trained my brain to be optimistic.


    If you’re not careful, wealth can make you very depressed and lonely.


    Trump's bullying reminded me of my dad… but I was better prepared for it.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Anthony’s book, All the Wrong Moves, is available to buy now: www.penguin.co.uk/books/476667/all-the-wrong-moves-by-scaramucci-anthony/9781847929235

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Bernie Sanders - swap.fm/l/pH8V6cBejDnhH47ega6D

    Andy Burnham - swap.fm/l/IpwatiJ5cM1h0UfcyFiA


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Anthony answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Luke Evans, Sarah Solemani & Elizabeth Day: The Making of The Party Oct 12, 2026
    Show notes

    Luke Evans and Sarah Solemani join Elizabeth to talk about the journey of Elizabeth’s 2017 novel The Party to its new five-part ITV adaptation.

    Luke stars as the show’s protagonist, Martin Gilmour, and Sarah stars as his wife, Lucy… oh and she also brilliantly adapted the novel for screen.

    The trio discuss the making of this exciting new drama for TV, how Luke discovered the book and kick-started the process and what the show is about. They discuss themes including: sexuality, the class system in the UK, shame, women leading production, culture on sets in today’s world and friendship.

    This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest.


    IN THIS EPISODE

    00:00 Introduction

    01:42 Luke Discovers the Novel

    02:51 Finding the Screenwriter

    04:45 Adapting Into Five Episodes

    07:13 What The Party Is About

    09:44 Casting Lucy and Onscreen Marriage

    13:04 Collaboration and Set Rewrites

    18:09 Women Leading the Production

    19:35 Set Culture and Final Day Speech

    21:15 Author Visits Set and Craft Details

    22:26 Friendship, Desire and Identity

    25:08 Class, Shame and Final Takeaways

    WANT MORE?

    Luke Evans - swap.fm/l/2AAJhVeDNGdKIJGdznR9

    LINKS + MENTIONS:

    • The Party starts Sunday 11th October 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX. The series airs for three consecutive nights: Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, concluding with the fourth and final episode the following Sunday 18th and Monday 19th. Or you can binge all five episodes on ITVX.

    • Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    • Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com



    • Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    • Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories



    • Instagram: @elizabday

    • TikTok: @howtofailpod

    • Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    • Website: www.elizabethday.org



    Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR


    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com


    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless


    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    LOVE THIS EPISODE? Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Bonnie Garmus - ‘Adoption Gave Us A Family’ Oct 07, 2026
    Show notes

    Bonnie Garmus was 64 when her debut novel, Lessons in Chemistry, was published. It went on to sell more than eight million copies, spend almost two years on the New York Times bestseller list, was translated into more than 40 languages and become an eight-part Apple TV+ series. At its centre was Elizabeth Zott, a fiercely intelligent, forthright chemist turned 1950s TV cooking star.

    Bonnie and I talk about the misogyny that inspired Lessons in Chemistry, her love of dogs, working through a stutter, adopting her two daughters from China and what it took to overcome years of rejection.

    Her new novel, Peck & Peck, is out in the UK on 13 October.

    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    03:41 Arts Versus Science

    05:44 Sexism Sparks Novel

    08:58 Greed And AI Warning

    12:19 Dogs Behind Characters

    16:30 Childhood Failures

    30:26 Living With A Stutter

    31:50 Letters And Workarounds

    32:53 Adoption Journey To China

    36:10 What Adoption Really Means

    37:23 Family Bonds And Fate

    39:17 Jeopardy Husband Spotlight

    40:10 98 Rejections And Resilience

    47:05 Finding An Agent And Writing Life


    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    I’ve had a lot of dogs in my life, and not a single one has disappointed me.

    I never look back on my career and think I have regrets.

    I had a therapist who was a stutterer… he gave me the courage to embrace it, and then I got better.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Bonnie’s new novel Peck & Peck is available to pre-order now: www.waterstones.com/book/peck-and-peck/bonnie-garmus/9781786588975

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Alain De Botton - swap.fm/l/dnU4ieYPW7eCbesQFNSf

    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - swap.fm/l/YiA3DPR1awzdCrHfEMfPv


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Bonnie answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Russell T Davies - On Dr Who, Grief and Gay Representation on TV Sep 30, 2026
    Show notes

    Russell T Davies has spent decades creating some of Britain’s most beloved and groundbreaking television. After studying English at Oxford, he went from writing for children’s programmes and Coronation Street to creating Queer As Folk in 1999 - a show that changed the conversation around gay representation on TV. Since then, he’s written hit after hit, from Bob & Rose and A Very English Scandal to Years and Years, It’s A Sin and his hugely successful revival of Doctor Who. He’s won four BAFTAs and was awarded an OBE in 2008.

    In this episode we talk about where his obsession and passion for TV came from, how his exceptionally busy mind works, losing his husband to a brain tumour, his love of Dr Who and…finding love again.


    His new memoir, The Queerest of Folk, is out on 8th October.


    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    02:35 TV Obsession Origins

    03:24 Memoir and Andrew

    08:35 AIDS and Its a Sin

    10:36 Queer as Folk Shockwaves

    12:37 Failure to Drive

    16:45 Writing in Images

    28:05 Early Illustration Gigs

    28:54 Obsessed With Drawing

    30:20 Losing the Habit

    31:52 Comics and Story Beats

    33:54 Writing Geniuses Doctor Who

    37:13 Staying a Fan

    41:41 Legacy and Family Roots

    49:59 Aging Love and Goodbye




    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    When I dream I invent people who don’t exist.

    I’ve saved for decades, I saved for a rainy day, and then one day it rained.

    Please never get rid of the Tardis.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Russell’s memoir, The Queerest Of Folk is available to buy now: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-queerest-of-folk-a-life-in-television-russell-t-davies/a290496f474a1f8c

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Phoebe Waller-Bridge - swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa

    Bernardine Evaristo - swap.fm/l/EH5cvO3uPdNCQN9tYyiJ


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Russell answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Sir Paul Smith - ‘People In Fashion Are Insecure’ Sep 23, 2026
    Show notes

    Sir Paul Smith is one of Britain’s most iconic fashion designers, renowned for his sharp tailoring and his sartorial flair. His clothes have an innate sense of mischief: brightly coloured linings, unexpected stripes and a determination never to take themselves too seriously. His devoted clients include Gary Oldman, Bill Nighy and Matty Healy, who wore a Paul Smith suit for his recent wedding.

    Behind the stripes and the suits is a man with a simple life philosophy: stay humble, work hard, be kind. On this episode we talk about the cycling accident that set him on a path to fashion and how he’s kept his global business independent for 56 years. Plus, the secret to a long marriage, what tailoring teaches him about people’s insecurities - and why he wore a suit every day during the Covid lockdowns.


    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    03:40 Tailoring for Everyone

    06:48 The Pink Wall Story

    08:31 Stripes and Reinvention

    10:20 Turning 80

    11:33 Cycling Freedom and Family

    18:20 Crash That Changed Everything

    24:20 Pauline Sets The Standard

    25:19 Keeping Love And Work Balanced

    26:19 Step Parenting And Playfulness

    27:28 The Trap Of Comparison

    32:43 Brexit COVID And Staying Independent

    36:02 Choosing The Right Collaborations

    37:21 Believing Your Own Hype

    42:47 Creativity Legacy And Farewell




    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    Pauline [my wife] set the standard - it’s been very important for longevity.


    A successful relationship is about balance. Knowing when to talk, when to listen… and have both feet on the ground.


    The danger is losing your focus, and worrying too much about ‘them’.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Sir Paul Smith’s Memoir ‘Threads’ is available to buy now: www.paulsmith.com/uk/threads-by-sir-paul-smith-special-edition-book

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Edward Enninful - swap.fm/l/NOAt5NDZeBTgX6qZUWpB

    Bella Freud - swap.fm/l/mQntNELQPRhZ9CjFQO77


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Sir Paul answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Louise O’Neill - ‘Full Recovery Is Possible’ Sep 16, 2026
    Show notes

    This episode contains references to and descriptions of eating disorders.


    Louise O’Neill is a bestselling, award-winning Irish author whose fearless writing has helped shape modern feminism. Her fiction is taught on the Irish curriculum and Paul Mescal starred in a critically acclaimed stage adaptation of her work. Her second novel, Asking For It, catapulted her into the public eye in 2015.

    Now, with her eighth book, A Bigger Life, O’Neill turns that same unflinching gaze on herself. Her memoir follows the extraordinary dating experiment she embarked on in her late 30s after the end of a long-term relationship: dating a different man every night, across three cities - Paris, London and New York. What began as a challenge, inspired by something her father said, became an unexpected journey of self-discovery.

    In this episode we discuss topics covered in her memoir, A Bigger Life, including: finding hope after heartbreak, pressure on women, extraordinary dating experiences and recovering from a debilitating two-decade-long eating disorder.

    A Bigger Life is out this month.


    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Introduction

    03:24 Writing Her First Memoir

    04:58 Roots in West Cork

    08:21 Dating for a Bigger Life

    09:26 Choosing Hope After Heartbreak

    13:22 Marriage Expectations and Milestones

    16:57 Beauty Pressure and Aging Fears

    27:12 Fear of Vulnerability

    28:48 Aging and Shame

    30:34 Trusting Your Instincts

    33:35 The Millionaire Date

    36:40 Recovery After 17 Years

    42:57 Rewiring the Mind

    48:35 Good Girl Burnout

    52:07 Redefining Success


    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    I didn’t want the break-up to define me.

    Life falls apart around us, and then we have to rebuild. The trick is to keep your heart soft.

    If I’m setting the narrative, I want it to be hopeful .

    I had to rewire my brain - I had to become an entirely new person. Then it became second nature.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Louise O’Neill’s memoir A Bigger Life is out now: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-bigger-life-louise-oneill?variant=55970156118395

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR

    Caitlin Moran - swap.fm/l/CaitlinMoran


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Louise answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Nish Kumar - Failure Is Information. Comedians Call It Material. Sep 09, 2026
    Show notes

    Nish Kumar is one of the UK’s best-known comedians, known for his impassioned political progressiveness.


    You might remember him as the host of the topical BBC comedy show, The Mash Report, which ran to great acclaim until it was abruptly cancelled in 2021 - one of his failures addresses this head-on. Kumar now co-hosts the popular podcast, Pod Save The UK and his 2026 tour, Angry Humour From A Really Nice Guy tackles the existential angst and political disquiet of a 40-year-old man.


    We talk through his failed Edinburgh show, the fact he would never consume Huel, ‘the whole bread roll Mash Report thing’, his people pleasing tendencies, how his experiences of racism led to therapy and a PTSD diagnosis…and how his friendship with Ed Gamble has changed over the years. It’s not one to miss.


    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    02:29 Immigrant Parents and Fear

    04:41 Comedy Obsessed Teen

    08:22 Nice Guy Angry Comic

    11:31 Rage as Fuel

    13:04 Edinburgh Show Failure

    23:31 Bread Roll Fallout

    27:20 Empathy and Comedy

    27:53 The Bread Roll Incident

    28:29 Clips, Context, and Backlash

    29:49 Turning Failure into Material

    31:24 Therapy and PTSD

    34:28 Racism and Political Architecture

    39:52 Progress, Parents and Politics

    46:14 Friendship and Growing Up




    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    Intellectual intelligence is useless without emotional intelligence


    2013 was the most important year because I learnt everything about what I didn’t want to do in stand-up


    My partner said I should seek therapy, but at the time that felt like an indulgence. I don’t feel that now.


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Nish Kumar is touring across the UK with Angry Humour from a Really Nice Guy until the end of November. Tickets are available from www.nishkumar.co.uk/gigs

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Stephen Merchant - swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2

    John Bishop - swap.fm/l/wRGKwuonJFQoujFlmDHI


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and Nish answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Remembering Gloria Steinem Sep 03, 2026
    Show notes

    It was a privilege to have one of my all-time heroes, the feminist activist, writer and icon Gloria Steinem on How to Fail back in 2020 and we are heartbroken to hear of her passing at the age of 92. To celebrate her life, we’re re-releasing this very special episode.



    We talked about her failure to understand her mother, her failure to be at her father's deathbed and her failure to learn lessons quickly enough - yes, we go deep... She also talked to me about how (then) at the age of 86, she is joyfully outliving society's expectations of her; of how fear can often be a sign of growth (let that sink in), about how 'anger is an energy cell', about how we are 'linked not ranked', about not having children, about spending a lifetime combatting misogyny and racism and sexism and injustice, and about the counteracting forces of love and compassion and friendship which keep her going.



    Whoever said never meet your heroes clearly never met Gloria Steinem.



    We love you Gloria Steinem, rest in power.


    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.



    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

    Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’ Sep 02, 2026
    Show notes

    David Sedaris is one of America’s best-loved humorists, famous for turning the absurdities of everyday life into razor-sharp, deeply human essays. He joins Elizabeth Day on How to Fail to talk about the moments that have shaped him: from dropping out of university and ending up in his parents’ basement at 20, to being thrown out by his father and growing up with a parent who seemed to actively invest in his failure.

    He talks candidly about heartbreak after a breakup at 32, the fear of being alone, grief at losing the people we love and his past crystal meth addiction and sobriety.

    We also hear about the embarrassment of dropping out of Japanese school in Tokyo at 50…and the possibility of a cameo on The Archers.



    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    03:39 How His Writing Evolved

    04:27 Train Music Confrontation

    07:03 Failure One: Dropping Out

    10:38 A Father Rooting Against Him

    13:16 Money Promises and Betrayal

    18:03 Thrown Out and Self Worth

    20:31 Friendship and Grief

    23:22 Failure Two: Breakup at 32

    27:38 Writing Love And Routine

    28:46 Sharon The Practical Mom

    33:08 Heartbreak Versus Grief

    35:54 Crystal Meth And Fear

    38:59 Conceptual Art On Fire

    40:24 Tokyo Japanese School Quit

    46:08 The Archers Cameo


    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    “I just took every bit of advice [my father] ever gave me and did the opposite, and it was a really good strategy.”

    “Fear kept me drinking. Fear kept me smoking. Fear kept me from leaving.”

    “You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t work for it.”

    “Every day is a new beginning.”


    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    The Land and Its People by David Sedaris is widely available across both online retailers and physical bookstores in the US and the UK.

    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    📚 WANT MORE?

    Dawn French - on fertility, friendship and being an anti-perfectionist http://swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT

    Simon Cowell - on judgement, power and the uncomfortable responsibility of shaping someone’s future http://swap.fm/l/hSwuCNEuZNgnaG20v0yB


    💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org


    Elizabeth and David answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    Failure Throwback: Mo Gawdat Aug 26, 2026
    Show notes

    This episode with Mo Gawdat originally went out in 2019, but its message feels as relevant as ever. We’re re-releasing it to celebrate the 500th episode of How to Fail.

    Just occasionally, you meet someone who changes the way you think about the world. That’s what happened when Elizabeth met Mo Gawdat, former Chief Business Officer at Google X, who spent years trying to solve a problem that seemed impossible to quantify: how can one individual be happy?

    After 12 years of research, Gawdat developed an algorithm for happiness: happiness is greater than or equal to your perception of the events in your life, minus your expectations of how life should be. He wrote about it in his international bestseller Solve for Happy.

    But that algorithm was put to the ultimate test when his beloved 21-year-old son, Ali, died in tragic circumstances. Mo joins me to talk about grief and depression, happiness as a form of fitness, coping with break-ups, the isolating effects of social media, why life is like a computer game, the illusion of time - and why we should always be polite to Siri.

    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Intro

    03:23 Success Yet Depressed

    06:14 Chasing Stuff for Joy

    07:22 Engineering Happiness Reset

    11:37 Six Modern Illusions

    15:17 Happiness as Equation

    20:35 Taming Your Inner Voice

    28:51 Useful vs Joyful Thoughts

    29:55 Grief Without Suffering

    31:02 Ali Lived Reframing

    32:47 Life as a Video Game

    35:02 Halo Lessons on Purpose

    40:13 Preventable Death and Resentment

    45:09 Tech Promise and AI Risk

    55:26 1 Billion Happy Mission


    LINKS + MENTIONS:


    Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

    Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


    WANT MORE?

    Mo Gawdat’s episode from 2025 -

    Dr Gabor Maté -


    LOVE THIS EPISODE?

    Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

    Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories


    Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

    Instagram: @elizabday

    TikTok: @howtofailpod

    Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

    Website: www.elizabethday.org

    Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails


    Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com



    Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

    Engineer: Matias Torres

    Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

    Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

    Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



    Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

    To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com


    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    1 2 3 41 Next

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