An opinionated and accidentally funny horror movie review show. Each week, this horror movie podcast covers a new release in theaters or an older flick on streaming/VOD. New episodes come out every Wednesday.
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The Blob (1988) Review with David Day
Dec 03, 2025
Today we review The Blob! No not my midsection, the movie from the 80’s!
Synopsis
A mysterious space object falls to earth in the sleepy mountain town of Arborville, CA. When a dirty hobo, I’m sorry, unwashed unhoused individual, stumbles upon the resulting crater, he is attacked by a formless gelatinous substance. When the town’s cliché love triangle finds him, the Football player, cheerleader, and motorcycle bad boy take the filthy degenerate, sorry cleanliness-divergent individual experiencing homelessness, to the hospital.
There the gelatinous substance quickly consumes several townspeople and becomes, you guessed it, THE GLOB!
Review of The Blob (1988)
The Blob is one of those movies that I watch and truly don’t understand why it’s not lauded more. With a disrespectful 69% on rotten tomatoes, people may not realize that this is a well crafted monster tale that rivals The Thing and Tremors.
Director Chuck Russell and the young Frank Darabond, who had just come off a successful collaboration A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, show their skill here. The plot features an impressive number of satisfying setups and payoff throughout. There is an excellent mixture of action, horror, and humor throughout that should satisfy fans of any of those genres.
The most impressive feature of the film is the practical effects that convincingly portray a formless blob as a real menace. Where the original 50s blob looked like strawberry jelly mashed through miniatures and settling in stationary positions, this 80s incarnation whips out tentacles, surrounds, and digests people with alarming speed. The intention of Russel and Darabond was to portray the blob as an inside out stomach, consuming all it touches, and they convincingly created it through a variety of stop motion, puppetry, and miniature work.
It’s a corny monster premise, somehow made actually terrifying by showing, not telling what the monster can do.
It’s not deep, but it’s a lot of fun.
Score
10/10
The Green Inferno Review
Nov 26, 2025
Synopsis
Justine is a young college student with a big heart. After learning about the horrors of female genital mutilation in foreign countries, she becomes interested in joining a local group of activists. While working with the group to stop deforestation in the Amazon, their airplane crash-lands deep in the forest. Which would be bad enough on its own. However, this forest just so happens to be home to cannibalistic natives who quickly capture the very people who came to protect them.
Review of The Green Inferno
The Green Inferno is a shocking and disgusting movie. As an homage to Cannibal Holocaust, Eli Roth makes sure to stuff The Green Inferno with plenty of over-the-top kills filled to the brim with blood, guts, and eyeballs. While the first viewing of this movie left me feeling depressed and hollow, years later, on my third watch, some of the horror magic has become somewhat juvenile and silly to me. It’s still enjoyable to watch, but I can’t help but roll my eyes a bit at the way the tribe is depicted as the most evil, bloodthirsty killers imaginable. Such a portrayal might even spark questions as to whether it’s even okay to depict tribal natives as savages in such a crude way; however, learning more about how this movie was filmed kind of brings everything back around to being wholesome fun for me. The cannibals in this movie are played by an actual tribe in the Amazon who apparently had a blast making it. At the end of the day, this is a gross movie that can be scary at times, but is often just a little goofy.
Score 6/10
Keeper Review
Nov 19, 2025
Synopsis
After nearly a year of dating, lovebirds Liz and Malcom drive to Malcom’s family cabin for a little getaway. Liz immediately begins to pick up on some strange vibes, both from the cabin and Malcom. Something is definitely off, but at least there is chocolate cake. As Liz learns more about Malcom, she is bombarded by visions of dead women, creepy ghouls, and severed heads. All of this in the name of love, maybe it would have been better to stay single after all.
Review of Keeper
Keeper’s trailer keeps things pretty ambiguous, and so I had very little knowledge of this film before going in. All I could gather was that this movie was about a woman on a trip with her boyfriend, who is kind of creepy. And honestly, that’s what we get from this movie for the entirety of Act 1 and Act 2. Liz is just mildly bothered by her boyfriend acting strangely, but other than that, there isn’t much to say about it. The director Osgood Perkins is currently making a name for himself with movies like The Blackcoat’s Daughter and Longlegs, but Keeper seems to be something else. While there are mixed reviews for Longlegs (some loving it and others finding it weird and cheesy), what we can all agree on is that Longlegs had some very interesting concepts that make the movie worth checking out. Unfortunately for Keeper, there really just isn’t anything all that interesting about it. It’s a cabin in the woods story, with a domineering, creepy man, and a seemingly helpless yet feisty female protagonist. It almost doesn’t get more cliche than that. I will say that Act Three opens the movie up a little bit more, and the creepy visuals and monster designs were quite scary-looking. But that doesn’t make up for the movie being kind of bland most of the time. Even when it ends up doing something kind of good, the story is still borderline nonsensical.
Score 3/10
Frankenstein (2025) Review
Nov 12, 2025
Synopsis
Honestly if you don’t know what Frankenstein is about, I don’t know why you’re listening to a horror movie podcast.
Review
I heard a lot of mixed reviews about this, but I tried to stay away from as many spoilers as possible, as if this story could really be spoiled. Del Toro does add some new elements to the classic tale, some might say maybe too many new elements. Some might say that. I’m not saying it. But some might. It is kind of long.
This movie is beautifully shot, albeit sometimes you can tell it was Made For Streaming (cough cough why is the sunlight in my face cough cough), but for the most part it’s colorful, playful, and imaginative, with backdrops and settings that match the incredible costumes. Mia Goth looks ethereal in all of her elaborate gowns, veils, and feathers. Her wedding dress deserves its own moment of silence. The bandaged look around her arms? So major. The costumes tell their own stories, and they do a wonderful job at that.
Oscar Isaac gets hotter every time I see him in a movie. Don’t know how he manages that but he manages it well. Even though he’s pretty evil in this he still looks good.
Jacob Elordi does an amazing job as the Creature, he proves himself time and time again, with physical and emotional acting. He captivates and intrigues. He shines.The story is good, it is a bit hammed up at times and Del Toro is quite heavy handed; so much so that it feels like being hit in the head with a hammer. Yes, I understand the story you’re trying to tell Mr. Del Toro, thank you for making sure I do. Also not a big fan of the narration aspect, don’t think it added much to the story. I really could have done without the Danish sailors in their entirety and this would have been a lot better.
Christoph Waltz was a pleasant surprise, although his character has little to no narrative impact. I always enjoy seeing him on screen but I felt as though he was a little pointless.
All in all I really had a good time watching this. It’s compelling, emotional, gorgeous, and thrilling. And God Damn You Netflix For A Limited Theatrical Release.
Score
8/10
One Cut of the Dead Review
Nov 05, 2025
Synopsis
While a shooting a low budget zombie movie the crew is attacked by a real life zombie. Instead of running away, the director takes advantage of the windfall and keeps putting his cast in harms way to get his shots. And then the rest of the movie happens.
Review of One Cut of the Dead
I’m struggling with how much I should spoil an 8 year old movie, but I’ll just say this is a bait and switch done masterfully well. I’ve seen movies that start as a comedy, and end up being a horror comedy, and movies that start out as a horror movie and end up as a horror comedy, but this is the first I’ve seen that starts out as 100% a zombie movie, and then transitions into a 100% comedy.
I was pleasantly surprised, because the horror movie was pretty bad, and when it transitioned to a comedy movie, it was so much more interesting and competently shot. It actually made me respect the filmmakers all the more that they could be convincing as both good and terrible at the same time.
This is less of a horror movie, and more of a celebration of B-filmmaking. As a result, it ends up being an ode to all the reasons why people love low budget zombie movies. The quick and dirty storytelling, the fun action, the over the top special effects, and the ingenuity displayed in the filmmaking.
Mostly, I’m just glad that I didn’t have to watch the opening horror movie for an entire hour and 40 minutes
Score
9/10
Shelby Oaks Review
Oct 29, 2025
This episode is soaked in an intense amount of hater-ade, due to Bryce hating Chris Stuckmann for no real reason.
Synopsis
Shelby Oaks is written and directed by Chris Stuckmann, the movie reviewer you get recommended if you don’t sign into YouTube. the film is about a woman’s search for her missing sister who was a (hold onto your hat) Vlogging celebrity. The mystery of the disappearance is unraveled through a series of horror tropes and clichés where it is revealed at the end that everyone got Stuckmannized.
Review of Shelby Oaks
I’ve got to admit, I really didn’t want to like this movie going into the theater. There’s something about a crowd sourced movie by one of the most milquetoast, non-committal YouTube movie reviewers getting a wide release that just makes me feel like I’m living in a dystopian reality. However, I was pleasantly surprised that Shelby Oaks was actually a pretty bad movie.
This is exactly the type of movie that I would expect from a milquetoast non-committal YouTube movie reviewer. Its narrative style goes from found footage and documentary in the opening sequences and then just kind of abandons ship and proceeds to just be a normal Hollywood horror film. The same lack of decision making is demonstrated through a variety of plot devices that cover numerous horror tropes to explain the disappearance. Was it a stalking killer, a demon, a cult ritual killing, maybe just scary ghosts? Stuckmann clicks yes on all of them and proceeds to make a pretty derivative, boring horror movie.
The most egregious part of the film was what led to most of my enjoyment. No not enjoyment, schadenfreude. I’m talking about the bizarre production and directing choices that broke any semblance of suspension of disbelief and had me constantly asking if I was being Stuckmannized. There were so many unintentionally funny moments in this movie that had me wondering if Stuckmann knew how time worked or if he took into account how humans behave in reality. Also, the film completely shoots itself in the foot with a plot that reveals way too much too early for trying to rely on mystery to be its hook. I’ll get into my nitpicks in the spoilers section, but suffice it to say that I was chuckling at the movies expense several times throughout.
This isn’t to say that there weren’t good parts. the film is a patchwork of tried and true suspense techniques that are visually executed as good as most horror movies. The acting is fine, although there isn’t much to work with in terms of character development or motivation outside of what is implied through familial relations.
Anyway it sucked.
Score
3/10
Black Phone 2 Review
Oct 22, 2025
Synopsis
Several years after the events of the original black phone movie, Finny and his sister Gwen are still haunted by the past. Finn is angry and aggressive with the people around him, and Gwen consistently receives terrifying visions when dreaming. As Gwen’s nightmares lead her to a Christian youth camp her mother used to work at, Finn is forced to tag along while they look around for spooky clues like in scooby doo. Due to a snowstorm, Finn, Gwen, and Gwen’s totally not boyfriend Ernesto find themselves trapped in the campgrounds, and things quickly turn sour as the paranormal activity ramps up. Is the grabber really gone? And why were they led to this campsite? For answers to these questions and more, go watch the film or continue this review.
Review of Black Phone 2
I find Black Phone 2 to be a much more memorable film than Black Phone 1. The frozen mountain scene gives the film a feeling of isolation and hopelessness. Because the Grabber died in the first movie, Black Phone 2 is able to dive deeper into the supernatural side of the story, which I believe works a lot better for the franchise. The Grabber’s already devilish look is taken to an even darker level, given that he is now basically a literal demon. Much of the tension in the movie comes from the dreams that Gwen has. The mood of the scene dramatically shifts every time she falls asleep. I think these scenes are well done, and while it might be blasphemous to say, it reminded me a lot of The Nightmare on Elm Street movies. However, the movie really suffers from some pretty surface-level dialogue that ends up being incredibly cringy at times. In my opinion, it is not necessary for the protagonist of the movie to say a vulgar, witty quip in every scene. An actual line in this movie is, “fuck you with a dinosaur dick”. Said in a pretty tense and serious scene, by the way. It doesn’t feel true to life, and neither do many of the characters. Highlights of the cast were Demián Bichir as Armando, the owner of the camp, as well as Mason Thames as Finney Blake, who gives a powerfully emotional monologue towards the end. I had some fun watching this movie, but it isn’t something I would rush to the theater to see. Score 6/10
In The Dark (2000) Review
Oct 15, 2025
Synopsis
This film follows Jane, a lonely librarian who finds a note at her desk with her name on it and a $50 bill, instructing her to play the game. She is helped by Brace, a new friend, in solving the puzzles and getting double the money every time she finds a new envelope. Jane and Brace quickly find out that she is playing a very dangerous game. Her strength, fortitude, and sanity are strained as she finds out just how far she’ll go for the cash, and the thrill.
Review
I found this movie because of some tweet that had a few hundred likes saying it was some sort of hidden gem. I looked it up and could not find much about it, save a couple articles and Letterboxd reviews. I found a rip of it on Youtube through a Reddit post and told the guys, hey this is the movie we’re gonna do this week. It was shot on video, never had a wide release or any sort of release at all. It was made by writer-director Clifton Holmes, along with his brother Dwayne producing, and co-written by Richard Laymon, the author of the book this film is based on. From an article on steemit.com, user modernzorker states that the film is incomplete, not in editing or shooting but in ADR and sound mixing, apparently all the sound we hear was the live recordings of each scene.
With all that said, I loved this film. I love finding horror that is so underground that even though this movie was posted for free on Youtube eight years ago, it only has 12k views. It has 1.6k watches on Letterboxd. It basically doesn’t exist. While you’re watching it, you feel like it shouldn’t exist.
I don’t say that to mean it is a so-called ‘cursed’ film, like the movie Antrum claims to be. I mean that it probably shouldn’t exist, and it almost doesn’t. The only way to watch it is in 240p on Youtube or buy a DVD rip of it from some dude on eBay claiming he’s the only one who sells them (and yes, listener, I did buy it for nine Great British pounds). It basically isn’t real.
It’s hard to watch in 240p, I was begging for at least 480 but you get what you get when you wanna watch something like this. The low quality adds to the uneasiness and uncertainty of the film’s vibe, but at some points it just sucks not being able to discern what is happening, mostly when they are shooting at night.
All the lore aside, this film is excellent. It reminds me of Blair Witch and Clerks in the way it is shot. With a limited budget, we only see the aftermath of gore instead of the action happening, which I think works in its favor. You feel the dread alongside Jane, but she also is a very unflinching, dedicated protagonist. She is brave, and you know that she is from the start.
There’s almost no music in this movie, save for a few moments of characters listening to music, and every time we see our antagonist a crescendo of guitars rises to the front. The only other time we hear sound other than voices is when Jane is playing Silent Hill on her PlayStation, we hear the footsteps of Harry Mason running through the endless fog.
This film is creepy, wacky, captivating, and so much more fun knowing that you’re probably one of the only people in your generation to ever have watched this. It was such a treat and tonally great for spooky season. It’s slow at first, but as the tension builds it just goes off the rails in the best possible ways. It’s a crazy movie. Look up (aka click here) Richard Laymon’s In The Dark on Youtube to watch it, you will not regret it.
Good Boy is what we are reviewing this week on Horror Movie Talk. Also, I will be saying good boy a lot on this episode. Stay tuned.
Synopsis
When his owner Todd moves into rural home, a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever named Indy starts noticing strange shapes in the shadows. Told completely through Indy’s point of view, we see as supernatural forces increasingly grow more menacing and seem to affect Todd. Indy proceeds to stare blankly and do very little to warn Todd, but who can criticize that face?
Review of Good Boy
Good Boy’s charm relies solely on its premise of being a supernatural horror movie told completely from a dog’s POV. It’s the type of premise that entices you, and makes you wonder how they are going to pull it off. In this case, they barely make a case for a feature length movie.
The highest praise I can give this film is that it is a spiritual successor to Paranormal Activity. There are a lot of lingering shots that exploit the Eye Spy/Where’s Waldo genre of that franchise.
Another good aspect is the score, which is perfectly sparse and effective for the mood of the film.
While it is engaging to look at a cute dog for a while, the lack of compelling plot developments makes it feel like a short film stretched to its breaking point.
The film is filled with similar scenes of Indy seeing figures in the darkness creeping towards him interspersed with some genuinely good jump scares. All the while, Todd is getting sicker and more of an asshole to Indy throughout.
The implied explanations for the haunting and Todd’s decline are many and non-committal. It could be a cursed house, or environmental factors. Or maybe that giant entryway into hell in the basement. Or it could just be cancer and the specter of death. Unfortunately the film never really lands on one and leaves them all open to interpretation.
However, the regular expectations for hollywood polish should be tempered with the fact that this film was never really meant for a theatrical wide release. In reality, this is an extremely high quality low budget independent film that performed so well at festivals that it earned a wide release. If this was only released on streaming, it would be declared a hidden gem, but in the bright lights next to big budget releases, this film is outclassed.
All that being said I do love the underlying narrative technique and did enjoy watching Indy’s exploits. The hour and 12 minute runtime does feel long at times, but somehow I am still left wanting more, and hope someone picks up this gimmick and makes a truly great dog POV horror movie.
Score
6/10
Lake Mungo Review
Oct 01, 2025
Synopsis
Lake Mungo is about an Australian family that loses their 16-year-old daughter in a drowning accident while having a picnic at a local dam. As time passes, each member of the family grieves in their own way, with some wanting to move past the tragic event, while others deny that Alice even died at all. As strange things begin happening in the home, the family must piece together Alice’s past in order to make sense of her death.
Review of Lake Mungo
Lake Mungo is a mood (as the kids would say). It’s not super scary or exciting, but it is thoroughly creepy and left me feeling very unsettled. In true documentary fashion, the movie relies on old photos and videos to piece together the story, and every time a ghost appears on the screen, I feel unnerved. The secret sauce is the simplicity of the film. There are no jump scares or suspense-building scenes. A character just describes an event, and we are shown a picture or video to accompany the tale, leaving the viewer to put the puzzle together. The ghostly images are nothing more than blurry photos of a girl standing in a corner, but for some reason that really freaked me out. I also think the movie does a good job of sticking to the documentary format without getting too weird with it, except for one scene that no documentary ever in the history of the world would show. Other than that, it feels like a pretty real documentary.
Score 8/10
Him Review
Sep 24, 2025
Synopsis
Him is a story about an all-American boy who learns to love an all-American sport. Cameron and his family are obsessed with football, specifically the football team, the Saviors. Encouraged by his father, the young Cameron begins to idolize the Saviors’ quarterback, Isaiah White, who apparently is the goat. As Cameron grows, he dedicates his life to the sport and is soon well on his way to being drafted in the NFL. With his hero Isaiah White on his last season, it is even likely he will be replacing the goat himself as quarterback for the Saviors. To celebrate, as well as help train his replacement, Isaiah invites Cameron to his secret football bunker for a weeklong sports bootcamp/slumber party.
Review of Him
From the synopsis I just gave you may be wondering where the horror element comes into the film. Well, basically football is just evil and I will leave it at that until the spoilers. I really enjoyed the first two acts of the movie. The tension was steadily built and I was finding myself more and more interested in the dark underbelly of this world. However, for me the tension never quite reached the apex the film was going for and I found myself disappointed with act 3. Although I will say that act 3 is not devoid of delightful gore and surprises, the climax just didn’t do it for me. I wanted there to be a bigger pay off than there was, yet I am left wondering why I expected much of anything given that the only real character development we get throughout the movie is related to how much Cameron does or does not enjoy football. I think it is a really fun idea to combine the sports genre with the horror genre, and I don’t think Him does an entirely terrible job, it just could have been better.
Score 6/10
The Long Walk Review
Sep 16, 2025
Synopsis
In a dystopian America, fifty young men are chosen to participate in a walk with no finish line for a chance to win endless riches. The catch: the winner is the only one who survives.
Review
I went into this film saying, oh so I’m just gonna watch a bunch of dudes walk for almost two hours? And yes, that is exactly what happens in the film. But, I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson are a great pair, they perform incredibly well as the two main characters. There is not an actor in this film that is unconvincing; I truly believe they were on a grueling walk for their lives. Like I said, yes it is a film where we are just watching men walk and die and walk and die over and over again, but the script is absolutely rock solid. I teared up, I laughed, I winced, I flinched, I felt all sorts of things. This is the ultimate dudes rock movie. It reminded me of how I felt watching Stand by Me for the first time. I loved this.
Score
10/10
The Conjuring: Last Rites Review
Sep 10, 2025
Synopsis
Paranormal Investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga think they are retired from ghost busting, but just when you think you’re out, the demons pull you back in. The Smurl family in Pennsylvania start experiencing malevolent supernatural happenings after the grandfather gives a terrible birthday gift to the second oldest daughter. A broken mirror. Gee thanks Grandpa.
The hauntings ramp up and soon it is apparent that a demon is infesting the house.
The Warrens reluctantly engage with the Smurls and soon find out that the demon has actually lured them into a trap.
Review of The Conjuring: Last Rights
This is the ninth installment in the Conjuring Universe films, 11th if you include Wolves at the Door and Curse of La Llarona. In my opinion, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. That’s not to say that this movie is bad. This movie along with all the other conjuring movies is competently made, maintains a consistent style, and has good acting. My criticism is that like the other films, this one prioritizes atmosphere and technique over substance.
A beef I have with these movies is that they all suffer from what I call spooky house syndrome, where every house is dimly lit with 25 watt bulbs, and is suffering from a concerning amount of mold damage and electrical problems. Are they trying to scare us with ghosts or the horrors of home ownership?
Similarly, the script is competent, but surface level. I can’t tell you anything about the personalities of any of the characters outside of the tired tropes of “the protective father”, and the “brat sister”.
What the film does well is display some of the most professional turning around acting I’ve ever seen. After four films as Lorraine Warren, Vera Farmiga has perfected the art of slowly turning her head for effect. It works so well at establishing the tension that they do it about 178 times in this film.
The film makers know you are coming for tension and jump scares, so that’s what they prioritize here. There are some really great scenes of creepy dolls, whispered voices, and foreboding darkness that are masterclasses in technique. However they are all interchangeable and do little to move the story forward other than just increase the intensity.
Score
6/10
Pearl Review
Sep 03, 2025
Synopsis
In this prequel to X, we get the origin story of Pearl. Pearl is a young woman who lives on her parents’ farm while her husband is away fighting in World War 1. Pearl is miserable on the farm and dreams of running away, and maybe even becoming a famous dancer. But the truth is, life is hard, and Peark quickly learns that it’s a dog-eat-dog world and no one seems to care if she ever fulfills her dreams or not. The only thing that matters on the farm in 1918 is survival, and seeking happiness is far down the list of priorities, such as working for the next meal, avoiding the deadly Spanish flu, and taking care of those around you. This slowly drives Pearl into insanity, which I dont count as a spoiler because we already know she is full-blown bananas from the first film.
Review of Pearl
The full title of the movie is Pearl: and X-traordinary origin story. This is Ti West’s second entry into the X series, so if you haven’t already seen X, you might want to see that first for context. This is my favorite movie in the X trilogy. While I liked X, this one just feels more fun, and it is leagues better than whatever Maxxine was supposed to be. Pearl is a much more stylized film, calling back to horror films like the Universal monster movies from the early to mid-1900s with its intro, music, and acting style. It’s really fun to see this type of movie made in modern times, and I hope that we can see more movies like this in the future.
Score 7/10
City of the Living Dead (1980) Review
Aug 27, 2025
Synopsis
When a small town catholic priest commits suicide, he apparently opens a gate to hell. Elsewhere a young psychic predicts the resulting apocalypse of the dead rising from the grave, and she promptly dies. Did I say she dies? Just kidding, a reporter finds her alive in a graveyard. They travel to the small town she saw in the vision named Dunwich, and team up with another couple and… do things?
Review of City of the Living Dead (1980)
What is there to say about City of the Living Dead that hasn’t already been said by wacky mad libs? It feels like someone with attention deficit disorder and short term memory loss was tasked with making a horror movie, and made it up as they went along. Even the title is a misnomer, at most this is a village or hamlet of the living dead. If you find yourself asking what is going on, rest assured that you will not find answers by the end. I’m sure if you asked Lucio Fulci to explain, you’d get some hand wavy explanation that would mention H.P. Lovecraft, the Salem Witch trial, and Heresy against god.
The impression is that making sense is not a large concern for this film, this is more of a strap in and enjoy the ride film. Along the way you will be treated by some surprisingly good practical effects including bleeding from the eyes, lots of smashed brains, and a drill press through the jaw.
I can’t say that it held my rapt attention, but it did have some good moments. This is a great movie to watch with friends, preferably under the influence of some kind of substance. In my case sitting alone, sober, watching this movie as an assignment from patrons, It was not super enjoyable.
Score
3/10
The Hills Have Eyes (1977) Review
Aug 20, 2025
Synopsis
When a family takes a road trip looking for a fun and exciting vacation in sunny California, they find themselves off the beaten path and searching for a main road. Things spiral out of control when military jets fly overhead, startling the family and causing the vehicle and the trailer it pulls to crash in the middle of nowhere. As the sun sets, the family splits up to find a way to call for help, but danger may be lurking just around the hills.
Review of The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
This was my first time watching the original The Hills Have Eyes. I had already seen the 2006 remake, which surprisingly stays true to the story and content of the original very well. However, it’s hard to beat the charm and originality of the 1977 version directed by Wes Craven. This movie is dark, gritty, and tugs at your nerves from almost every conceivable angle. As a father of a one-year-old, the terror felt by the young couple caring for their baby was palpable to me, and it genuinely made me feel ill at times. But you may be saying, “Max, I’m not a young parent to a baby, will this movie still apply to me?” Well, that depends. Do you care about dogs? Cause if the answer is yes, you will probably still feel on the edge of your seat with worry the whole time. This movie pulls no punches, attacking the family dynamic from all sides. No one is safe, and all shots are below the belt.
Score 8/10
Weapons Review
Aug 13, 2025
Synopsis
When seventeen children from the same classroom run out of their homes in the middle of the night and vanish without a trace, a city is in ruin trying to pick up the pieces and figure out how this happened, where the children have gone to, who could have orchestrated such a thing, and why this occurred.
Review
This film is mind blowing. I absolutely loved Cregger’s Barbarian, he did something unique and subverted all expectations in his 2022 horror hit so this film was one of my most anticipated of this year, and it did not let me down. I was deeply moved by the end of it, and if I wasn’t in a full theater, I would have let the tears flow. I loved this film. It made me really sad.
The way this story is told through its individual characters’ experiences instead of chronologically works in its favor, and as we get more into the stories of our main characters, the horrors of this story unfold in shocking, brutal, and unexpected ways. I am shook to my core more than I thought I would be. I was almost catatonic leaving the theater, relying on my muscle memory to get me back to my car while I pondered the events of the film.
This is a poignant and relevant story about the state of this country, about our lack of community, our lack of care for our children and for each other. It shows us the butterfly effect of thoughtless actions and unwillingness to protect one another and how that leads to the destruction of family, love, and the collective. Our community will fail if we continue to turn a blind eye, if we continue to fail each other, and fail our children. The call is coming from inside the house.
As if those themes aren’t horrifying enough, there is one particular jumpscare that got me and my entire theater. There’s great gore, and also some great comic relief in an otherwise melancholy film. The acting is great, especially from Cary Christopher (who played the little kid Alex). I loved this movie. No notes. And if you are struggling with what this movie is truly about, there is quite literally a house-sized AK-47 thirty minutes into the movie to remind you.
Score
10/10
Together Review
Aug 06, 2025
Get ready for a sticky situation as Horror Movie Talk reviews Together, the latest horror movie starring Alison Brie and Dave Franco.
Synopsis
Long time unmarried couple Tim and Millie move to a rural town to follow a job opportunity for Millie. Tim leaves behind his circle of friends and his stalled career as a performing musician behind in the city. The stress of the move, sexual troubles, and recent trauma put a strain on their relationship, but they remain committed to each other.
When they go on a hike near their house marked by bells, they stumble into a sunken cave. After drinking from the pool of water in the cave, Tim and Millie get into a sticky situation, and Tim begins to compulsively follow Millie around town.
Review of Together
If you’ve seen the trailer of the movie, you get the basic premise: parts of their bodies get stuck together and they find it hard to separate. But instead of treating it like an eighties sitcom plot, it’s used as a foil for body horror.
It’s an interesting premise that is ripe for meta relationship commentary, and I was interested with where they would go with it. However, in the end, they don’t really do much with the opportunity to explore the theme of codependence and the loss of identity that can come from a long term relationship. Part of the problem is that the script keeps the relationship in the center of the movie in a weird limbo state where it’s not headed towards separation or marriage. Others might disagree, but I think choosing one or the other early on in the plot has more potential for satire and commentary. I didn’t feel like there were real stakes or an emotional core to the film.
As a result, the scenes of them getting stuck feel arbitrary and progress predictably, but don’t seem to have a lot of emotional impact. The majority of these situations are shown in the trailer, so there isn’t much surprise when they come, the only thing you get are a couple shots directly looking at the merged body parts. I wish they would have gone harder and done some more extreme and creative body horror throughout, but they leave the majority for the film’s climax. In the end it’s not enough to save the lack of an emotional core or strong direction in the plot.
With recent body horror bangers like The Substance and The Ugly Stepsister, this feels like an undercooked entry into the sub-genre in comparison.
Score
5/10
The Others Review
Jul 30, 2025
Synopsis
The Others stars Nicole Kidman and her two children finding herself trapped in a bizarre and perplexing marriage to Tom Cruise. Oh wait, that’s just her real life at the time. In The Others she plays Grace a widow in post WWII Jersey living in a mansion with her two photosensitive children Anne and Nicolas. When three workers show up on her doorstep, she hires them as servants to help take care of the children and the estate to replace her previous staff that recently walked off the job. Soon after they are hired strange occurrences start happening and unexplained sounds start emanating from empty rooms. Could it be ghosts? Are her children messing with her? Are the servants trying to drive her mad? Are scientologists trying to silence her? You’ll have to watch the whole twisty turny movie to find out.
Review of The Others
Drawing heavy inspiration from the Turn of the Screw, this is a really well constructed supernatural film that has more than one trick up it’s sleeve for the audience. Nicole Kidman’s performance and the up tied and high strung Grace is what ties all the tension together. The haunted house genre is well trod territory, and this film explores all of the tropes associated with it adeptly and convincingly. It’s well paced, doling out little clues about the multiple mysteries surrounding the characters, their motivations, and the occurrences in the house. There’s enough revelations and twists and turns that it really does string the audience along until the last 15 mins or so before everything is revealed.
This is my second full viewing since I watched it in the theater in 2001, and it’s one of those films that is as enjoyable the second time if you know the ending. I don’t remember being blown away at the time, since it felt like it was riding off the coattails of the surprise blockbuster The Sixth Sense released two years earlier. However now, I can recognize the masterful craftsmanship of Alejandro Amenábar’s script and direction.
It’s an exceptional example of gothic horror, exploring the darker aspects of life and death, maintaining an oppressive and claustrophobic atmosphere, and leaning heavily on suspense and mystery.
Score
10/10
I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025) Review
Jul 23, 2025
Synopsis
In a world where love is in the air and murderous fishhook men abound, a group of friends reunite when Danica and Teddy decide to marry and throw an engagement party. Once the normies head out for the night, the gang decide to smoke a joint and go for a joyride. Once parked at their favorite spot to watch some fireworks (which is just on the edge of a bend on a mountain pass), Teddy inadvertently causes a car wreck which results in the driver flying off the cliff in their Dodge pickup. To keep Teddy out of trouble, they decide to never tell anyone what they did that summer. However, somehow someway, someone finds out what they did last summer and they wont stop until vengeance is paid in blood.
Review
Right off the bat I will say this movie did make me chuckle. Not from any joke or comical scene but from the production company being named Original Films Productions. It’s no secret that this film is aimed at capitalizing off the trend of rebooting or updating classic slasher movies. This trend seemed to have started with the Halloween reboot and has spread through beloved horror franchises such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Scream. But now I Know What You Did Last Summer wants a piece of the pie. So here it is. I won’t say that this movie is entirely bad. It kept me entertained enough and the acting was pretty decent for the most part. The thing that bothered me most in this movie was how heavily it relied on slasher tropes. It doesn’t try very hard to be unique, and literally plays off the same exact premise as the original with a few twists. To be honest, if you are really into slashers and that kind of horror movie I think you should be outraged by what filmmakers are doing to your sub-genre. But if you just like all things horror and want something to watch, it’s not the worst thing in the world.
Score
4/10
The Amityville Horror (1979) Review
Jul 16, 2025
This week we cover the original movie based on the true fake story about the haunting of the Lutz family in Long Island.
Synopsis
The Amityville Horror is based on a real life made up story about the Lutz family moving into a house that was the scene of a brutal murder of an entire family. They soon find out that the house is haunted or possessed or something. You can tell the house is evil because of the way it is. George Lutz played by Josh Brolin’s dad seems to slowly go insane while Lois Lane gradually becomes Wendy Torrence. A priest also is in the movie sometimes.
Review of The Amityville Horror (1979)
The Amityville Horror story is probably one of the most famous hauntings in America. Likely even more famous than this movie. It was one of the first investigations by Lorraine and Ed Warren on whom the Conjuring Movies are based. This film is a grab bag of haunting tropes that later got perfected by better movies. It really felt like the writer couldn’t decide what type of haunting was going on, so they covered every base. It could be haunted by the ghosts of the murder victims, possessed by a demon, cursed by a witch, cursed by native Americans, or just a simple portal to hell. Take your pick. It ends up being a rather unsatisfying story because we’re never offered any real answers.
The Lutz family starts out promising as protagonists — George and Kathy are introduced as newlyweds with Kethy having three kids from a previous marriage. However, this interesting family dynamic is never fully developed and a lot of drama is left on the table.
The plotline of Father Delaney feels tacked on, and never really pays off dramatically. He has one of the most memorable scenes in the movie, but it’s bizarre that the main characters never learn about what happened to him.
The movie ends up being an example of the pitfall of having a lot of plot, and no story. The characters seem one dimensional, and the ending feels unsatisfying.
Score
5/10
Killer Klowns From Outer Space Review
Jul 09, 2025
Synopsis
In a quiet town, where the stars are shining and the street youths are just beginning a wild night of tomfoolery, a meteor falls from the sky. Landing in a farmer’s yard, people begin to investigate the crash, only to find a large and otherworldly circus tent. Everyone gets a little more clown than they bargained for, and the occupants of this circus tent start a menacing rampage on the town. Will the police stop them? Will the sexy young college couple stop them? Will the ice cream man stop them?
Review of Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Killer Klowns from Outer Space has long been one of my favorite horror movies. It’s low budget and very over the top, but I find it charming and entertaining to watch clowns wrap people in cotton candy cocoons that burn their flesh off. The movie stays fresh for me as every scene depicts the clowns using some new form of weapon that looks like a sundry clown paraphernalia. I like the characters, especially the two young dudes trying to get girls by selling ice cream, and the boyfriend and ex-boyfriend of Debbie, who both seem to be dating her at the same time, at moments in this film. However, the true bow that ties this movie together is the clowns. They have a really unique design and they border the line of over-the-top silliness and menace that gives me the creeps in a good way.
Score 10/10
Clown in a Cornfield Review
Jul 02, 2025
Synopsis
A teenage girl named Quinn and her father relocate to Kettle Springs, Missouri for a fresh start after Quinn’s mom dies. Quinn quickly falls in with the ‘wrong crowd’ as a potential serial killer clown targets her and her new friends.
Review
At first I liked this movie. I was in for the goofy ride, I wanted to play into the corniness (pun intended) and enjoy it, but it very quickly became redundant, vapid, and unfunny. The kills are okay, the premise is whatever, but the jokes miss the mark almost every single time. The acting is good and all of the teenagers are very convincing as gen alpha, but the script severely lacks. I wanted this to be a lot more fun than it actually was. It’s not to say that I didn’t particularly enjoy it, I just got bored at one point and I couldn’t shake the boredom for the rest of the runtime. There is a joke that one of the characters makes about being “stuck in a stupid 80s slasher” and that was just plain offensive, because every 80s slasher I’ve seen is better than this one. It’s not the worst movie ever made, but it’s really nothing special. Shoutout to Kevin Durand though, love to see him pop up in a horror movie.
To sum my feelings about this film up in a sentence, this felt like Scooby Doo if it was bad and also rated R.
Score
4/10
28 Years Later Review
Jun 25, 2025
Synopsis
28 Years Later picks up exactly where you think it will: 28 years after the initial rage virus outbreak in the U.K. All these years later, the movie focuses on a small Scottish island off the coast of the quarantined mainland, where the only way to and from is a small causeway that disappears in high tide. This story follows Spike, a twelve year old boy who takes his rite of passage by venturing to the mainland for the first time with his father, to see the virus’s impact for himself, and hopefully kill a few zombies.
Review
Everything about this film was wholly unexpected for me. Danny Boyle takes us on a journey like no other. Having a child as the main character/focus in a horror movie is not a new plot device, but in this film you really feel for Spike, you see everything in his perspective, you feel his fear, his guilt, his confusion. Everything that Spike is going through feels immensely personal to the viewer, and this is due to incredibly effective storytelling in Alex Garland’s fantastic script and Boyle’s dynamic storytelling.
28 Days Later was such an innovative and harrowing zombie movie, something unlike viewers in 2002 were used to seeing. Boyle shot it on low quality camcorders for the most part and relied heavily on the script, practical effects, and just damn good acting. This film isn’t much different. Although film as a medium has progressed in the last 23 years, 28 Years Later feels so new, so fresh, so unexpectedly radical. The cinematography had me speechless, breathless, on the edge of my seat throughout the entire runtime. It is a masterclass.
This film made me feel things that a typical zombie movie does not make me particularly feel. Having the foundation of a good but almost played out antagonist, zombies, and building a house upon that with an exceedingly emotional and moving script, topped with out of this world acting by Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor Johnson, and newcomer Alfie Williams, makes this a perfect film. I’m already planning on going to see it again in theaters.
Score
10/10
The Ugly Stepsister Review
Jun 18, 2025
This week we review the dark and twisted retelling of the Cinderella fairy tale in The Ugly Stepsister.
Synopsis
As the name suggests, The Ugly Stepsister is a retelling of the Cinderella story from the ugly stepsister’s perspective. In this gritty realistic telling, it starts out with the marriage of Cinderella’s father and the revelation that both sides of the marriage are expecting great wealth from each other, but are actually poor. The step mother’s daughter Elvira dreams of marrying the Prince and is given a chance by being invited to his Ball. Her mother, knowing that a advantageous marriage is their only way out of poverty, plans on using her last money and her cunning to transform Elvira into a beauty. What follows is a series of visceral 19th century plastic surgeries, self inflicted illness, and a series of insults that turn Elvira into a pitiable and sympathetic protagonist.
Review of The Ugly Stepsister
The Ugly Stepsister is clever and a more complex retelling of the fairy tale that we all know and love. It’s a more realistic exploration of the power dynamics of money, privilege, and beauty. It tells two sides of the same fairytale, the original is really about overcoming poverty and class through natural beauty and magical helpers, this telling is about how despite class and access to money, you still need to overcome beauty standards. None of the characters are particularly “good”, including Cinderella. Each has their own motivations, and Elvira is essentially a pawn in her mother’s game.
Max is going to argue that this isn’t a horror movie, but it undeniably is. This movie at its core is a body horror movie. It explores the brutal reshaping of Elvira’s body through mechanical and organic means. She will stop at nothing and sacrifice everything for her goal.
I thought it was really well done. It was clever, brutal, and at times even funny. It’s very similar in themes, but much more subtle than The Substance.
Score
9/10
Bring Her Back Review
Jun 11, 2025
Synopsis
Bring Her Back follows siblings Andy and Piper as they go into foster care after their father suddenly passes away. They are placed with a woman named Laura, who already has another foster child that seems a little bit off, somehow. As the kids try to stick together to mourn their father, Laura is trying to deal with her own grief in a shocking and disturbing way.
Review
This movie makes you feel really bad, like really really bad. I think some movies are exceptional at making you feel bad with no reprieve, i.e. Angst (1986), High Tension (2003), Funny Games (1997). But in order to properly achieve a good feel-bad movie, there needs to be some TLC put into the filmmaking and/or the viewer needs to care about the characters, whether they are good or bad people. In this film, I didn’t see much love of the craft put into the style of editing or shooting, and although I hated seeing the kids get hurt in this movie, I didn’t care that much for the characters. Maybe that’s due to minimal backstory, or maybe the script was not connecting for me.
That’s not to say this isn’t a good film, per-say, because it is a horror movie unlike I’ve seen in awhile, it makes you feel really bad and it is pretty original while also utilizing tried and true horror tropes. I wanted to cry at the end of this movie. There were a lot of times where I audibly said what the fuck. It’s insane, vile, sad, and creepy but I just can’t say it’s amazing. It’s more shocking than anything, it wants to shock, and shock it did.
I kind of want to rate this higher but I was just so baffled by all of it, and by the time something happens I really didn’t want to watch it anymore. I think this may be an evil film.
Score
7/10
I Saw the Devil Review
Jun 04, 2025
Today’s episode, voted by our patrons is I Saw the Devil, the Korean revenge thriller/horror film.
Synopsis
I saw the Devil is a 2010 Korean thriller about Soo-hyeon (Lee Byung-hun), a grieving husband seeking revenge against his wife’s killer (Choi Min-sik). Unlike most revenge films, this one is not about him finding the killer to bring them to justice, it’s about tormenting and psychologically breaking a monstrous serial killer. It helps that the husband is basically Korean James Bond and has accrued plenty of PTO.
Review of I Saw the Devil
This is legit one of the best thrillers I have ever seen. It’s well written, and it doesn’t waste a minute of it’s 2:24 runtime. It makes me miss the serial killer thrillers of the late nineties and 2000s. As with any thriller, people may argue whether or not it is a horror movie. I ignore these people, because they have too much time on their hands. and this is on letterboxes top 250 horror movies, so that’s something. I will say if you are looking for disturbing and gory imagery, this film has it.
I Saw the devil doesn’t shy away from giving us the killer Jang Kyung-chul’s perspective, which can be disturbingly voyeuristic and horrifying in its simplicity. The brutal confrontation scenes with the protagonist being a proto John Wick balances out the film with a sense of catharsis and perverse satisfaction of the killer getting his comeuppance. However, they come at a price. The film asks the viewer “can a man use evil against evil and come out unscathed?” .
This is one of those movies that’s so perfect in its concept and construction that it makes me wonder how it hasn’t been done before. It’s deceptively simple, but is actually an impressive balancing act of being disturbing, thrilling, funny, and ultimately satisfying.
Score
10/10
Arcadian Review
May 28, 2025
Synopsis
In a post apocalyptic world, Nic cage raises two teenage boys he rescued as babies. Unfortunately for cage he is made aware of the simple fact that teenagers don’t stop being teenagers just because everyone’s lives are at stake. These two boys couldn’t be more different and are constantly arguing, picking on each other and getting into mischief. Each night the young boys and their father batten down the hatches and prepare for the invasion of strange and mystical creatures that threaten to break down the doors and devour them all. It is soon discovered that their bunker may not be as safe as they once hoped and the family must learn how to take responsibility for themselves and survive in this impossibly desolate world.
Review of Arcadian
Another day, another random horror movie starring Nic cage. This man will really take any role at this point, which is unfortunate because I feel like he was underutilized in this film. Not that I think cage has to be the main character in every movie he is in, but his character is pretty quickly disposed of for the majority of the movie which i think may not have been the right move. This cant even really be classified as a true Nic cage movie, as he is more of a supporting character with very little screentime. Despite that, I think the other characters manage this movie pretty well on their own. I like the brothers and their differing personalities. Each one brings their own emotional struggle to the film and I felt like I could relate to each of them in different ways. For the first half of the movie the monsters are well obscured in the darkness, and the glimpses that we do get of them are pretty terrifying. However eventually we get a little more “showing the monster” than I think is warranted and they end up looking a little silly by the end of it. There is some good character development, emotional moments, and intense scenes which make this movie a pretty easy watch. I didn’t find myself checking the time hardly at all, and I was really interested to see how things would play out. The themes of having to grow up too fast, and taking ownership of your own mistakes are well played out.
Score 7/10
Final Destination: Bloodlines Review
May 21, 2025
Synopsis
In this installment of Final Destination a young woman named Iris defies death while on a romantic date with her boyfriend saving many lives. But death wont be cheated so easily. These sleepy citizens may have lived to see another day, but fate is on a mission to hunt them down. Years later, Iris’s children and grandchildren are caught in the crosshairs as death creeps along their bloodline leaving them in…shall we say…sticky situations.
Review of Final Destination: Bloodlines
I have never been a fan of the final destination movies. They have one gimmick, and they stick to it no matter what which usually leaves me counting the remaining survivors in an attempt to guess how much longer I have to sit there and watch the movie. I was pleasantly surprised by this film. Don’t get it wrong folks, it is exactly the same gimmick as before, but I felt like this movie uses a little more charm than other Final Destination movies I’ve seen. There are multiple nods and winks to the audience as the film sets up laughably stupid death scenes, just to pull back and be like “just kidding. You really thought we would kill the character off with this stupid trick?” Only for the rug to be pulled as another equally as stupid death scene unravels in a bloody mess. It subverted my expectations a couple times and genuinely caught me off guard with some horrific events that I did not see coming. The red herrings keep the movie interesting, as you can never really know when something is about to happen. The camera is zooming in on this warning label showing a man being crushed by a vending machine. Is that important? No. But for a second you thought it was. The deaths are gruesome but somehow look kind of real. These movies have a history of showcasing the most elaborate Rube Goldberg death scenes that while creative have never felt interesting to me. But this movie felt different. I really liked every death in the movie and I think its worth going to the theatre to experience them on the big screen.
Score 7/10
Tigers Are Not Afraid (Vuelven) Review with Horror Illustrator Alicia Berbenick
May 14, 2025
Tigers Are Not Afraid is a harrowing tale of young children trying to survive among cartels, ghosts, and dream logic. Listen to our full review this week on Horror Movie Talk.
Synopsis
Tigers Are Not Afraid is a horror/fantasy/drama that takes place in a border Mexican town devastated by drug cartel crime. Estrella is a young girl who is given three wishes by a teacher and after she discovers her mother has been killed, she joins a gang of other child orphans. While they are on the run from a cartel, Estrella tries to use her wishes, but they don’t come true how she wants them to, and she is haunted by the ghosts of cartel victims.
Review of Tigers Are Not Afraid
This is a beautiful and ugly movie. Very quickly you realize that the real horror in the movie is the reality in which these kids live and not from the supernatural elements. It is reminiscent of early Guillermo del Toro movies and reminded me of the Brazilian City of God. However this film is unique in its composition and blend of genres. The majority of the plot and suspense comes from the dramatic real life elements of the story. You are drawn in by these children who are too young, too helpless, and too poor. They are pathetic in the truest sense of the word, since the strongest emotions elicited by the film are pity and sadness.
The supernatural and horror elements of the film are ever present, but take a backseat for the most part. The audience is give. room to interpret whether they are “real” or only in the mind of estrella.
For me, it’s an undeniably effective film. I was brought to tears several times throughout the movie, especially at the end.
It’s a beautiful evocative film. Moments of beauty are created in the ugly apocalyptic surroundings. Moments of wonder and hope are present but rare, giving contrast to the horrors surrounding them.
It’s a great film, and has stuck with me for the past three days since watching it. I’d put it up against any of my favorites in the genre.
This film follows Kakihara, a sadomasochistic yakuza whose boss goes missing. He sets out on a path of kidnapping and torture to find the man who did this, only to find out that the culprit, Ichi, is a complete sadistic psychopath. Chaos and gore ensue.
Review
This movie is a lot better than I remember, and I remember loving it. The opening sequence hooks you immediately, with sped up camera movements and manga like color grading at times. This reveals to the viewer that what you’re about to watch isn’t a typical action/horror film. This movie does have its problems, as it has laughably bad CGI at times, but if you can get past those three or four shots you can enjoy this movie. My other issue with the film is the treatment of the women on screen. It’s absolutely devastating, depraved, and nausea inducing. To be fair, mostly everyone dies in this movie and whether you’re a woman or not in this world, you’re gonna get tortured. So I guess it’s kinda fair in the end.
At first glance it’s very much torture porn, but there’s a real story there that provokes humanity’s most suppressed subconscious emotions. Ichi the Killer exemplifies the unpredictability of human perseverance and the utmost underbelly of society.
This movie does not beg you to sympathize or revel in its grotesqueness. It wants you to be uncomfortable, it does not want you to like these characters at all. I love cinema that makes me squirm. I would be remiss not to mention that the costumes are divine, especially our main man Kakihara’s fly suits. The iridescent one he wears in his final scene is stunning.
I really do love this movie, it can be extremely tough to watch at some particularly gory times, but it’s great if you can stomach it. Just don’t try to eat dinner while you watch it.
Score
8/10
Tenebrae Review
May 03, 2025
Synopsis
Peter Neal played by Anthony Franciosa is a famous author of crime/mystery novels. After the release of his new hit book Tenebrae, Peter travels to Rome to promote his story through interviews and morning talk shows. However, Peter is quickly caught up in a real-life mystery involving brutal deaths linked to his book. The police (big fans of his work by the way) keep Peter in the loop as they work together to crack the case, but things quickly get out of hand as the murders stack up. But forget about the violent crimes, the real question everyone is dying to know the answer to is, “Are Peter’s books sexist?”
Review of Tenebrae
Tenebrae is a 1982 Italian Giallo film written and directed by Dario Argento, who you may recognize from the hit classic Suspiria. For some reason, I really struggled to get into this movie for the first thirty minutes, but as the themes of the movie started to reveal themselves I became far more interested in seeing the rest of the film play out. I expected this movie to be just as easy to predict as most mystery horror -who-done-it movies tend to be these days, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I guessed the killer incorrectly not once, not twice, but like six times. The movie does a great job at misdirecting your focus and creates a web of motives for everyone involved until you are sure the killer is definitely this person! Only for that person to die in the very next scene. This happens all the way up to the end of the movie, and the audience is left in the dark about a lot until the last 10 minutes. I enjoyed this more than I expected to.
Score 8/10
Until Dawn Review
Apr 30, 2025
Synopsis
Until Dawn follows Clover and her group of friends as they travel the country following her missing sister Melanie’s trail. After meeting a kind old man at a gas station who points them in the right direction, the crew finds themselves waiting out a rainstorm in a spooky abandoned motel. Clover is desperate to find her sister, and clues within the building lead her to think that Melanie was here. All seems to be going according to plan until disaster strikes and our young hip protagonists are plunged into a life-or-death fight with a masked maniac Michael Myers wanna be.
Review of Until Dawn
I did not know that this was a movie adapting a video game until the movie started with the PlayStation Logo. Having not seen the trailer and bringing zero experience playing Until Dawn into my viewing experience, I think I was set up perfectly. The premise of the movie, which I’m going to spoil now so if you don’t want to know skip this part but I assume it gives this away in the trailer and game, is that people who enter the motel are stuck in some sort of hellish time warp, causing them to relive their deaths over and over. The movie did a great job of setting up the characters in the beginning and I was starting to feel very invested in their relationships when suddenly every character except for Clover was killed within 5 minutes. I was baffled and about ready to give this movie a very low score for undermining its own character development, when suddenly I was introduced to the time warp aspect and it all finally made sense. Its a really fun idea, and it has the built-in advantage of being able to pack in lots of fun and gory death scenes without losing its main cast or requiring a ridiculous amount of characters. I felt that the acting was pretty good, the story was far more filled out than most video game movies are, and the themes that emerged towards the end were satisfying. The movie suffers from some of the same things other video game movies like Silent Hill suffer from, such as needing to introduce all of the iconic bad guys without having the time to tell the audience who or what they are. Who is this masked killer? Don’t worry about it. He’s just evil. Who is this witch? Don’t think too hard. She’s just one of the bad guys. I enjoyed this movie quite a lot more than I expected to, but it is still far from a perfect film.
Score
8/10
Sinners Review
Apr 23, 2025
This week we review Ryan Coogler’s Sinners. Is this movie cursed, or is Horror Movie Talk cursed? Stay tuned to find out.
Synopsis
Sinners stars Michael B Jordan and Michael C Jordan as twin brothers Smoke and Stack returning from Chicago with ill gotten gains to their hometown in rural prohibition era Mississippi. They immediately work on establishing their own juke joint to entertain and profit off the locals. They go around town recruiting old friends and relatives to help and successfully have a grand opening. When the music pierces the time and space as it is prone to do, it captures the attention of nearby evil… things. Wacky hijinx ensue.
Review of Sinners
Ryan Coogler writes and directs his first horror film coming off of his success with blockbusters like Black Panther and Creed. Here he obviously draws inspiration from Robert Rodriguez’s From Dusk Till Dawn, where it feels like one genre and then suddenly shifts into a horror film. However, we are given fair warning from the opening scene that shit is about to go down.
There is a lot going on in this film. It explores a lot of ideas about good and evil, guilt, exploitation, racism, the transcendence of music, and pro tips on how to eat pussy. Not all of these themes are fully explored or necessarily land, but I have to respect the ambition and swing for the fences attitude of Coogler with this film.
The film does have a great cast, with fully fleshed out characters and relationships. It spend a lot of time with the setup so that when the killing starts to happen there are real stakes (no pun intended). It feels like a Stephen King novel in the best way.
A large element of the film is the music, with several musical sequences featuring blues, folk music, and weird afro-blues-rock-hiphop-pop fusion. The musical director on the film is swedish composer Ludwig Göransson, which is probably the most promising new film composer in recent years having scored The Mandelorian, Oppenheimer, Black Panther, and more. In my opinion, he is out of place here, and a lot of the musical score seems out of place and distracting. For a film about delta blues and juke joints, they seem almost embarrassed to include a lot of it.
Overall, the film was very good. It held my attention, features a setting and characters that are interesting, and delivers some great monster moments.
Score
9/10
It’s What’s Inside Review
Apr 16, 2025
Synopsis
Eight college friends reunite the evening before one of their weddings to catch up, hang out, and unexpectedly play a game that will change all of their lives forever.
Review
I like this movie a lot. It’s so much fun. It’s fast paced, the lighting and editing keeps you highly engaged, and the plot is simple but effective. I love the interpersonal drama that carries most of the movie, and without giving too much away, how it all plays out is very interesting. The first time I watched this I definitely didn’t anticipate the final twist, which was really exciting. Although this isn’t traditionally scary, the thought of it happening to you sends a shiver down your spine. It’s a very fun, lively movie and I had a blast watching it again for the pod. Before we get into any spoilers whatsoever, I believe this is a movie watched best going in blind, so pause the show here and come back when you’ve seen this.
Score
8/10
The Woman in the Yard Review
Apr 09, 2025
Synopsis
The Woman in the Yard is a blumhouse produced movie about a family living on a farm trying to make ends meet after a disastrous car accident which left the father dead, and mother crippled. As this broken home traverses the everyday trials of a grieving family, a mysterious woman appears on a chair in their front yard. Attempting to speak to the woman reveals very little about her motivations, so the family barricades themselves in the house hoping to wait her out. Without electricity, a working vehicle or cell phones, the mother and her two children are completely isolated.
Review of The Woman in the Yard
The cinematography is strikingly beautiful for such a low effort film. While the acting ranges from really good at times to borderline over-acting, the script does not do our actors any favors. This leaves the film lacking in character development and meaningful relationships. The movie is very barebones as far as plot, and hardly anything of interest happens most of the movie. It starts with a good idea, but completely undercuts it by having the woman in the yard be normal looking and unthreatening. The ending is ambiguous, which may be a good thing for some viewers, but for me it contains too many loose ends and “what if”s.
Score
3/10
Death of a Unicorn Review
Apr 02, 2025
This week we review Death of a Unicorn! Stay tuned to find out whether the laughs are real or mythological.
Synopsis
Paul Rudd plays the hapless single father Elliot to Jenna Ortega’s, art history student Ridley. They both go on a work trip to a remote estate of Elliot’s boss in a former wilderness preserve. While on driving there, they accidentally collide with a horse beast with a horn protruding out of it’s head. Just a single horn. Like a uni-horn. When they try to hide the evidence from the CEO and his family, wacky low jinks ensue.
Review of Death of a Unicorn
While this film has an interesting premise and a good cast, the words that kept playing through my mind while watching this is “half baked”. Not like the wacky movie staring Jim Bruer and Dave Chappell, but more like a mouthful of hot brownie batter. It sounds good, but is actually disappointing. While there were a few situations in which I did laugh, they were few and far between, because what this horror comedy lacked most was jokes and bits.
The characters were all 2 dimensional, which in a comedy can be counteracted with broad caricature, but the writing here attempts to be subtle and low key with poor results. In fact, Paul Rudd’s character, ostensibly the second protagonist ends up being so wishy washy, that I was confused if he was supposed to be one of the villains. Jenna Ortega isn’t as stone faced as usual, but she doesn’t have much to work with here. In fact most of her dialogue felt like it must have read [fill in later]. Probably the most successfully subtle character is Anthony Carrigan’s Griff the butler.
There were some good gory death moments. The expected impalements are here. There are some good headsplosions. But it’s not enough.
I usually think it’s a cop out to say a movie’s CGI is bad, but for a movie dependent on monster design, they should have spent a little more time and money dialing in the unicorns.
Score
4/10
Hush (2016) Review
Mar 26, 2025
Synopsis
Hush follows Maddy (Kate Siegel), a deaf writer living in the middle of nowhere. She settles in for a quiet night of working when her friend turns up screaming and bloody at her door, but Maddy does not notice. The assailant figures out Maddy is deaf and a deadly game of cat and mouse ensues.
Review
The first time I watched this movie I really enjoyed it, but upon second watch it wasn’t as effective for me. I think it’s because if you know how it ends, it’s not going to be as exciting the second time around. I still liked it and Mike Flanagan is an incredible director, I very much enjoy most of the stuff he puts out. It’s a typical home invasion movie and the twist of having a deaf protagonist is inventive and works well. Kate Siegel is always great to watch, and the antagonist is pretty good as well. It’s a simple movie, and it works best to watch it without knowing what happens. It’s not the best, but it’s a quick 80 minutes and satisfies the horror itch.
Eraserhead is a movie about an awkward man named Henry who reconnects with his lost lover Mary over a lovely dinner of small chickens. They’re the same as the big chickens except for small. After finding out the shocking news that Mary has given birth to Henry’s child, the two get hitched and strap in for the slow steady life of a settled family. The baby soon causes turmoil in the young couple’s life and Henry must learn what fatherhood truly means in the depths of the sleepless nights and constant screaming. There’s some other stuff that happens but honestly I don’t know what any of it means.
Review of Eraserhead
Eraserhead is one of those movies that I want to like more than I do. The whole time I’m watching it I’m sitting there thinking to myself “Yes! This is so unique and thought-provoking. I’m so glad art like this exists! …how much longer is left of this movie? I found myself checking the runtime at several points hoping it was almost over only to realize only 15 minutes had passed by. However, to this movie’s credit, it truly is a spectacle. Many have likened this movie to what experiencing a nightmare or a strange dream feels like. Time moves awkwardly slow, a low hum and sharp static hang over most of the scenes, and even the mere movements of the characters feel so off. If you are going into this movie expecting to understand it or get the message, you may be disappointed to find that there may not even be one. Though despite Lynches ethereal style of movie making I still feel like I caught themes of the stress of marriage and fatherhood, dealing with overbearing prudish in-laws, and the horror that is whatever newborns simply are. As a father of a small baby myself, I felt an attachment to the small creature that they attempted to pass off as a premature child, and the sheer fragility of an infant felt close to home for me. This movie pulled off the exact feat it was going for. It made me feel something. Even if that something was an eerie, stilted, boring, nervous feeling, at least its something. I said a lot of negative things but in reality I actually do find value and even enjoyment in this movie in a weird kind of way.
Score 7/10
Special Announcement from HMT
Mar 14, 2025
Due to recent controversy with the recent Scary Movie episode featuring Horror Movie Talk (HMT) owner David Day, We are releasing the following announcement to the press.
Scary Movie Review with David Day
Mar 12, 2025
This week we’re reviewing SCARY MOVIE, a spoof of 90s slashers and more. Here to defend 90s humor with me is David Day, stay tuned.
Synopsis
A masked killer stalks a group of dumb teenagers a year after they accidentally kill a man. Borrowing from the major plot lines and scenes of Scream and I know what you did last summer, this slapstick raunchy comedy properly spoofs the major teen horror movies of the late nineties.
Review of Scary Movie
It’s been a long time since I originally saw Scary Movie in the theater, and to me it was a breath of fresh air. You can debate the consistency of the quality of humor, but what you can’t debate is the pace of the humor. The jokes per minute is strong in this movie, and even if one bit doesn’t land, there will be another one that will in about a minute. What is really crazy is how timely some of the jokes are in a movie 25 years old. You’ve got mentions of diddy parties, trans in competitive sports, and teacher sex scandals.
Score
10/10
The Neon Demon Review
Mar 05, 2025
Synopsis
This film follows the teenage Jessie, played by Elle Fanning, who moves to LA with dreams of becoming a model. She meets some veterans in the industry, Rubi, Gigi, and Sarah and forms a friendship turned rivalry with them as they all try to make it to the top. Jessie soon learns the ways of the cutthroat world of modeling, and how everyone around her would do heinous things for her youthful beauty.
Review
I absolutely love this film. This is my third watch, and I swear it has gotten better every time I’ve seen it. The cinematography, coming from the iconic Nicolas Winding Refn, is something to be revered. The way he uses color and light and blocking to symbolize changes in character’s personalities and ways of life is astounding. This film is gorgeous, and the message it conveys is something that women can all understand and relate to, regardless if you’re a model or not. It’s a deep dive on beauty standards and the predatory nature of society towards women, and little girl’s beauty in general. This isn’t scary at all visually, but there are some horrific scenes and imagery that might make you look away from the screen. All in all, it’s a fantastic film, and criminally underrated.
Score
10/10
The Monkey Review
Feb 26, 2025
Are you scared of toy monkeys? Should you be? Listen/watch our review of The Monkey (2025) to find out.
Synopsis
When twin brothers Bill and Hal discover a treasure trove of souvenirs in their absentee father’s closet, they find a toy drumming monkey. Soon they discover that whenever they turn it’s key, a horrific death occurs in their vicinity. After inadvertently killing a loved one, they decide to hide the monkey down a well to protect others. Two decades later Hal discovers that the monkey is killing again, and he must track down the Monkey and stop it with his teen son.
Review
This film is Osgood Perkins followup to Longlegs and is an adaptation of a Stephen King short story. I didn’t know what to think going into it. The trailer had a a strong sense of dark humor, but since Perkins’ other films didn’t rely on humor as much, I wasn’t sure if he could deliver.
But deliver he did. This fast paced death fest is fueled by a great script full of dry dialogue as a counterpoint to the absurdity of the plot. It’s like a cross between Final Destination movies and Dragnet.
Theo James does the heavy lifting as the hapless Hal being tortured by not only The Monkey, but also by almost everyone he meets. His resigned everyman is the perfect straight man for the insanity happening around him.
The insanity takes the form of crazy, over the top deaths that are served in a steady drip line throughout the movie. It’s got decapitations, explosions, trampling, and more.
Score
9/10
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me Review
Feb 19, 2025
Bullying works! I finally made the guys watch a David Lynch Film!
Synopsis
Fire Walk With Me serves as a prequel to the hit 90s tv show Twin Peaks, following the seemingly inexplicable murder of a high school girl named Teresa Banks, investigated by FBI Agent Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Agent Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland). Flash forward to a year later and we get to go back to Twin Peaks to see the last few days of the tragic Laura Palmer’s (Sheryl Lee) life, and the events that led to her untimely demise.
Review
I originally watched Twin Peaks in high school due to seeing so much about it on Tumblr and it ended up being my intro to Lynch’s work. I love the show so I checked out the movie afterwards and it blew my mind. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve seen it, and it’s just as effective as the first. It’s eccentric and unsettling enough to keep you on your toes as you watch, but it also keeps so many secrets to the truth about Twin Peaks, about Bob, about Laura that it leaves you wanting more (and then you can watch The Return to satisfy that itch). It’s an incredibly dreadful movie, starting with the jarring beginning played like a buddy cop movie, with a dead girl who isn’t Laura, within a town not as welcoming and heartwarming as Twin Peaks is. Cut to Laura’s final days, and as a fan you are excited to feel some sense of stability, of normalcy, but that is all soon ripped away from you as you experience the horrors alongside Laura. It’s a harrowing film, a divisive film, a horrifying and dreadful viewing experience with little catharsis but a whole lot of secrets that without watching it you would feel lie you missed out on something special. This is truly one of my favorite films of all time, and definitely my favorite David Lynch movie. It is such a special thing to peer into Laura’s world, albeit very stressful and depressing.
Score
10/10
Heart Eyes Review
Feb 12, 2025
Synopsis
Heart Eyes is about Ally, a boss girl who isn’t interested in romance. When she meets a new boy at the coffee shop that could be the one, disaster strikes as a masked killer comes to her town with the goal of brutally murdering couples on Valentine’s Day. Will Ally find love? Will she finally let her guard down enough to let someone into her life? Will she clean her disgusting apartment? I have no idea.
Review of Heart Eyes
Look, I’m not so prideful that I can’t admit when I am wrong. I said very openly that this movie was going to suck, but honestly, it didn’t. It’s surprisingly self-aware in its dialogue and genuinely pretty funny throughout the film. The opening scene starts the movie off so strong and I was already having fun 5 minutes into the movie. However, this movie suffers from the same problems all slasher movies do, it’s a slasher movie and slashers are dumb. The reveal at the end feels lazy and copy paste. It’s a blatant rip-off of another slasher movie, but I won’t spoil it here, so just trust me when I say that it’s not very original. I had fun watching this movie, but it wasn’t anything to rush to the theater to see.
Score 6/10
Companion Review
Feb 05, 2025
If you could rent the perfect girlfriend, would you…?
Synopsis
Iris is the perfect girlfriend for Josh. She dotes on him, is nice to his friends, is honest, doesn’t argue, and has sex whenever he wants. It’s like she was made for him. When Josh and his Iris are visiting his friends in a remote lakeside getaway owned by a Russian billionaire, a sudden death throws the weekend into chaos. Iris finds out that not everything is as it seems in her and Josh’s relationship, and has to fight for her life to get away.
Review of Companion
I wish the second trailers didn’t spoil the premise of the movie, because I think the film would be even more impactful if you don’t know one of the main plot points. I thought the first trailer with the candle under her arm and the arm burning was enough to entice me to the theater.
Companion isn’t entirely unique, there are other movies and recent HBO series that deal with similar concepts. The difference in Companion is the tone and perspective of the film. It’s told from Iris’s perspective, and as the revelations are made it adds layers of complexity for the other characters. The tone is fun, but not campy. It strikes a nice balance that definitely explores some of the darker implications and aspects of the plot without getting weighed down.
The writer/director Drew Hancock comes from mostly TV sitcoms which explains the light and breezy dialogue. I really liked the production design and music choices. They really hearken back to 50s americana.
Sophie Thatcher and Jack Quaid are both great in this. Sophie brings an innocence and earnestness to her character that is believable and not over the top. Jack Quaid’s character has the most interesting arc from loving boyfriend to mega creep incel which is fun to watch and discover through Iris’s eyes.
There’s not many laugh out loud moments, but there are a lot of subtle moments that got me chuckling.
My only real complaint is that it was relatively predictable, but it had enough going on to maintain my interest.
I liked it, but overall I think it’s only above average.
Score
7/10
Presence Review
Jan 29, 2025
Synopsis
When a family of four moves into a new house, the teenage daughter Chloe (played by Callina Liang) suspects they are not alone, and with the recent passing of her best friend looming in her mind, she thinks the presence in the house is the ghost of her late friend. Her mother, Rebecca (played by Lucy Liu) and brother, Tyler (played by Eddy Maday) choose to not believe Chloe because of her state of grief, while her dad, Chris (played by Chris Sullivan) tries to help his daughter. When the whole family witnesses Tyler’s bedroom become destroyed with no logical explanation, they all start to believe Chloe’s grief filled fantasies might have more basis in fact than fiction.
Review
I had not heard one single thing about this film, I hadn’t even seen a trailer for it, but when Bryce said, “we gotta review the new Soderbergh horror movie that comes out this week,” I was very intrigued, and I was not disappointed. This movie hit home for me in ways that I did not expect, and I usually don’t get too emotional over horror since we watch at least one horror movie a week, but this one hit hard for many different personal reasons. The way that it is shot is very inventive, I’ve seen it done before in passing parts of films but never the whole runtime, and I really enjoyed it. I think it would be great to go into this movie blind like I did, that’s how the viewer will probably get the most out of it. The twists were unexpected, I never guessed what would happen next the whole way through, and the few red herrings worked themselves expertly into the plot. This is more of a psychological thriller/family drama than pure horror, and I really liked it. Not very scary on the surface, but emotionally it is raw, and sad, and horrifying.
Wolf Man is a movie about Blake, a family man struggling to make his marriage work and to be a better man than his father was. When Blake gets a letter in the mail informing him that his father who went missing years earlier has finally been officially declared dead by the state, he and his family leave their busy city life to pack up his father’s old farmhouse and spend some time in the mountains. The wooded area surrounding the house is ominous and filled with local legends of men with the face of the wolf, but surely it’s a good idea to bring your wife and young daughter to live there for a summer. If I were to spend anymore time talking about the synopsis of this movie I would end up giving everything away as there isn’t much more to this film.
Review of Wolf Man (2025)
When I saw the trailer for Wolfman I was disappointed. Except for An American Werewolf in London, I’ve never seen a werewolf movie that wasn’t extremely middle of the road, and from the marketing, this movie looked to be no different. But I was wrong. It was actually somehow a little worse than middle of the road. I was excited to see Julia Garner cast as the female lead because I’ve really enjoyed her performances in other things such as Ozark, Inventing Anna, and The Assistant. But I was surprised to find that her character was bland and uninteresting. At first, I figured she kind of butchered the role, but it soon became apparent that the real problem was the writing. The dialog felt cold and emotionless. Even during scenes that were supposed to be touching, suspenseful, or exciting, all of the characters seemed to deliver the most boring inhuman lines. The worst case of this was the daughter played by Matilda Firth. It was as if the writers had never met a child in real life and were just guessing at what a child might speak like. The result is a family that I couldn’t care less about. The reveal towards the end of the movie is very easy to see coming and I was able to call it about 10 minutes into the movie. The monster design is uninteresting, the movie drags on, and it gives no meaningful contribution to the werewolf subgenre.
Score 4/10
Beetlejuice Review
Jan 15, 2025
Synopsis
In this spooky tale, two love birds living in a large yet ugly home head into town to pick up some supplies for their miniature models like glue and paint and whatever you nerds use to make little models, and in a shocking turn of events drive their car off a bridge and into a river. After making their way home they start to notice something disturbing. They died. Yet their love knows no bounds, so they start this new chapter of their undead lives with optimism. However, the underworld seems to be some sort of eternal DMV which kind of puts a damper on their staycation. How could things get any worse?! Uh oh! A new family moves into their home and they are really annoying. Hookwinks ensue, and disaster strikes upon meeting a ghoulish fellow named Beetlejuice. Will they survive this nightmare? No! Cause they are already dead.
Review of Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice is a fantastic movie. And Michael Keaton who plays Beetlejuice is the best part. He’s funny and inappropriate and pretty much exactly what you would expect some asshole to become if he had a few hundred years to stew in his undead filth. As all Tim Burton films are, the aesthetic is very weird, goth, and colorful. It’s Rated PG somehow even though it has two F-bombs, but honestly I kind of stand by that rating cause I watched this movie when I was like 8 and I never felt like any scenes or lines were out of place. It’s a good romp for the whole family. The strange teleportation desert scenes feel pretty dated, but they are still charming. I dont really have anything bad to say about this movie.
Score 10/10
The Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2024 – The Golden Talks
Jan 08, 2025
In this the first annual Golden Talks, the hosts review the year 2024 in horror movies, discussing their best and worst films, as well as aggregate scores from their reviews. The conversation is filled with humor and banter as they reflect on their experiences with various horror films, highlighting both the enjoyable and the dreadful aspects of the genre. They also delve into the rankings of new releases and share their thoughts on the impact of these films on the horror landscape. In this conversation, the hosts delve into their thoughts on various horror films, including a critique of the Beetlejuice sequel, a ranking of their top five new releases, and a discussion on the quality of recent horror movies. They explore unique themes in horror, engage in a light-hearted debate about mattress sizes, and reflect on their aggregate scores for movies reviewed throughout the year. The conversation culminates in a discussion about the best and worst patron picks, revealing the challenges of audience selections in film. In this episode, the hosts reflect on their movie selections, discuss score discrepancies, and analyze their aggregate scores for the year. They delve into download statistics to gauge audience engagement and conclude with a light-hearted discussion about host dynamics and awards, including who might be the ‘worst host’.
Nosferatu (2024) Review
Jan 01, 2025
Synopsis
Tell me, does evil come from within us, or beyond?
This film follows Ellen (played by Lily-Rose Depp), and her husband, Thomas (played by Nicholas Hoult) as Thomas takes a new job that requires him to go to a strange land to broker a real estate deal with the mysterious Count Orlok. While Ellen begs him not to go, he does anyways, and she starts having nightmares and fits of madness while he’s away. Thomas quickly realizes he’s in for a lot more than a house sale once he arrives at the Count’s castle, and Ellen, Thomas, and a gang of professors and doctors have to work together to defeat the darkness.
Review
Excellent is not a good enough word to describe this movie. It is exceptional, phenomenal, show-stopping, incredible, stupendous. This is truly a spectacle to see in the theater. The costuming is gorgeous and intricate. Every single actor brought their A-game. The atmosphere and set dressing completely immerse you into the world of 1838 Germany and the mysteries of the vampire. The physical acting from Lily-Rose Depp was completely unexpected yet welcomed and hopefully revered by all, you truly are watching a master work her craft. Nicholas Hoult was incredibly convincing as Thomas and incredibly hot, per usual. Willem Dafoe and Ralph Ineson occasionally add a solid comic relief while also driving the plot forward. Also, it is so entertaining and the pacing is perfect so the 132 minute run time passes you by like a soft summer breeze.
I don’t even know how to review this film to accurately describe how awe-struck I was while watching it. I wanted to stand up in the theater like I was watching the Superbowl. This was my Superbowl. My one complaint is that I wish they hadn’t told us who played Count Orlok because Bill Skarsgård is completely unrecognizable as the illustrious vampire. This is Count Orlok like we’ve never seen, as in the original it was a silent film so it was impossible to hear his voice, and in the Herzog version he is portrayed as more of a melancholy creature battling with isolation and immortality. In this film, he is terrifying, he is demanding, he is alluring and intoxicating, he is sexy and fearsome and seemingly rules the world. The viewer falls under his spell just like his on screen victims. This movie is a masterpiece; it is true gothic horror, it is incredibly sexy, it is gripping, it is haunting, I want to go see it again right now.
Also, I want to emphasize that while I wrote this, I kept getting frustrated by the fact that no positive adjective will be 100% accurate at describing how incredible this film is.
Score
10/10
Caveat Review
Dec 25, 2024
Synopsis
Caveat is about a man named Isaac who suffers from amnesia after a tragic accident. Isaac is hired by a man who claims to be his good friend before the accident Moe Barrett, to go to a secluded house and watch after his niece Olga who suffers from schizophrenia. Upon arriving at the dilapidated house Isaac is told the frightening catch of his new job. Since Olga is terrified of someone attacking her in her sleep, Isaac must wear a chain that keeps him anchored to certain portions of the house. Not a good deal if you ask me, but after some convincing Isaac accepts the job. Olga’s mother is also missing, and her father is recently dead. Wacky hijinks ensue.
Review of Caveat
Caveat definitely has its issues. I think my biggest problem with this movie is just the look of it. Most shudder-exclusive movies that I’ve seen tend to lean very heavily into the spooky house syndrome, and this movie is no exception. The house in this movie is almost comically decrepit. My other issue with this movie is that I have a difficult time believing that anyone would accept this job of being chained to a house for multiple days at a time. I mean talk about a fire hazard. But with that being said, I think this movie is very creepy and does a great job at building suspense. Its visuals can border on nightmare fuel and the screaming foxes in the background sent chills down my spine. There’s enough to this movie to keep me entertained the whole way through.
Score 6/10
Re-Animator Review
Dec 18, 2024
This week we review Stuart Gordon’s 1985 schlock classic: Re-animator. Does it go too far for modern audiences? Listen to find out.
Synopsis
Loosely based off of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “Herbert West – Reanimator” this film stars Jeffery Combs as Herbert West, a weird genius science student that just arrived at the Miskatonic University. He immediately clashes with his professor in asserting superior knowledge over theories surrounding brain death, and makes him an enemy.
Also in his class is Dan Cain, who rents a room to Herbert. Dan is dating the dean’s daughter and is mainly in this movie to be choked.
As Herbert West experiments with a new serum, he discovers he has unlocked the secret to reanimating the dead. After confirming it’s efficacy with small animals, he seeks to experiment on dead humans.
Review of Re-Animator
Re-animator pure B-movie schlock done right. It pulls no punches with intense gore, nudity, and dark humor. It’s the spiritual sci-fi counterpart to Evil Dead, which came out four years earlier.
Dennis Paoli, the writer, came from the world of experimental theater in Chicago, and he brought a solid foundation with a surprisingly tight script. Both him and the director Stuart Gordon wanted to create an homage to Frankenstein, and succeeded with Re-Animator. It really does recapture some of the straight faced humor of the original 1930s Frankenstein, but turns up everything to 11.
The special effects are sometimes laughably bad, but still endearing. Particularly the reanimated psycho cat is like something off of a cheap SNL sketch, but still ends up being very entertaining.
They didn’t even try to get a rating, since it would most likely get an X. Somehow they still toe the line for decency, editing some shots just right before they get too exploitative to ruin the fun.
Mainly that’s what this movie is: A lot of fun. This film should be studied for how to pull off low-budget campy horror.
Score
10/10
Red Christmas Review
Dec 11, 2024
Synopsis
Red Christmas follows a blended family headed by matriarch Diane (Dee Wallace) as they prepare to celebrate Christmas together. When an unexpected cloaked figure pops up on their doorstep and insists on reading a letter he wrote for his mother to the family, long time secrets Diane has been keeping are revealed, along with a suspicious murderous spree.
Review
There is a fine line between a campy movie and a really bad movie, and this film toes that line swimmingly. The movie is insane, it makes no sense at times, it’s funny, it’s wacky, it has really good kills, and it’s a Christmas movie. What better way to get into the Christmas spirit than to watch someone get axed hotdog style. I like this movie for its campiness, it’s very entertaining and while a lot of the plot is not logical, it is a fun slasher movie that you can enjoy with a cup of hot cocoa and some figgy pudding. It’s not the best movie of all time but it’s not trying to be. It’s trying to be a campy slasher romp, and that’s exactly what it is. If you can ignore the screwed up ‘message’ of the movie and just focus on how lovely Dee Wallace is, then you can enjoy this film.
Score
7/10
Silent Hill Review
Dec 04, 2024
Do you want to feel like you are watching someone play a video game when you watch a movie? Well Silent Hill is the right movie for you.
Synopsis
Rose Da Silva brings her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the eerie ghost town of Silent Hill, hoping to find a cure for Sharon’s mysterious condition and learn why she is having nightmares about the town. Following a police chase and a brutal car accident, Sharon vanishes. Rose finds herself in a spooky ookie alternate dimension that occasionally turns into an even spookier OOKIER dimension filled with unimaginable horrors. As she frantically searches for her missing daughter she meets the townsfolk and finds out the towns LORE.
Review of Silent Hill
Having not played the video game this film is based on, I can already tell you that’s its a faithful adaptation. Because watching the first half of this film is like watching someone play a video game. And unfortunately they are not very good at it. I was left craving more cut scenes or maybe more scenes cut.
Some of the iconic imagery from the game of Pyramid head and the nurses are wedged in as non-sequiturs. I assumed that the film would make some kind of effort to explain them, but nope. I still have no idea what their significance is to the story.
The thing that the movie really has going for it is production design, and vibes. The film is very moody and feels oppressive.
Unfortunately, the writing and acting is distractingly bad at times. Honestly, it felt like they spent all the budget on the production design, and then midway realized they never bothered with a script.
The last half of the movie redeems itself in some ways. The action and horror ramps up, the exposition finally gives us something to hold on to, and it actually ends up telling a story.
Overall, I felt like the film was too slow and uneven. There was some great body horror and memorable scenes, but unfortunately they are wrapped in a pretty forgettable movie.
Score
4/10
Stir of Echoes Review
Nov 27, 2024
Synopsis
Stir of Echoes is about a lovely couple named Tom and Maggie. Tom, played by Kevin Bacon in maybe his greatest role ever is put in a hypnotic trance by Maggie’s sister at a dinner party. After having him put a needle through his hand which is super not cool, Tom is awoken from his mystic slumber. But something is off. He can see… ggggggg-Ghosts! Through his newfound second sight, Tom is about to do some miraculous things and fight crime. Just kidding he doesn’t fight crime but he does do some pretty incredible things. Meanwhile, their son Jake is also a psychic and stirs up some trouble in the neighborhood when he claims to have visions of a young girl who went missing six months prior.
Review of Stir of Echoes
I went into Stir of Echoes cautiously. It did not look good; I had never heard of it, and the first act was beginning to confirm my doubt. It feels a little convoluted and messy, and you dont really know where the movie is headed. Certain scenes initially felt random and confusing, but as the movie progressed, I began getting more and more invested. While Stir of Echoes is not a very scary movie, the mystery did reel me in and by act 2 I was pretty invested in uncovering the truth. Kevin Bacon does a really good job of portraying a decent into madness and for half of the movie basically acts like a homeless schizophrenia person. It’s a joy to watch. Without giving anything away about the ending I will say that by the time the movie was over everything felt like it was wrapped up well and I no longer felt that the movie was convoluted.
Score 7/10
30 Days of Night Review
Nov 20, 2024
Synopsis
30 Days of Night is a movie about Eben and Stella, a married couple in Alaska going through separation and a possible future divorce. Eben, the sheriff, is preparing his small town for the 30 days of night, where the sun doesn’t rise for a full month. Explain that flat-earthers. When trying to leave Alaska before the impending darkness Stella misses her flight, trapping her in the town. Although the 30 days of darkness is typically a challenge, Eben is wholly unprepared to deal with the invasion of deadly monsters that lie in wait. As darkness descends the creators wreak havoc (some might even say ravish) the town, and in the end, everyone gets more dark than they bargained for.
Review of 30 Days of Night
This movie reminds me of Midnight Mass with its secluded small town and monsters to terrorize it. And I LOVE Midnight Mass. But 30 Days of Night is a much more straight-ahead story. There is no bigger picture or message being told, it’s just vampires, blood, and guts. I appreciated the family and character dynamics introduced in the first act, but honestly by act two when people start dying I didn’t really care who they were or how they were important to the story. It’s vampire time baby! The tension between Eben and his estranged wife Stella doesn’t really translate well, and they seem to have no tension between them at all once the danger presents itself. I respect the vampire lore in this movie a lot more than I do of movies that turn vampires into this sexy, mystical creature which at least for me takes the fear out of the design. Here the vampires are fast, strong, and animalistic with sharklike razor teeth. Much more interesting if you ask me.
Score
6/10
Heretic Review with Jordyn Wilson
Nov 13, 2024
Watch as Bryce and Max jump at the opportunity to talk about their missions as Sydney and Jordyn look on with glazed eyes.
Synopsis
Two naive Mormon missionaries, sister Barnes and sisterPaxton knock on the door of Mr. Reed, a lead that expressed interest in learning about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. Mr. Reed, played by High Grant, is charming and warm to the ladies, but begins directly challenging their beliefs. As the Sisters get more and more uncomfortable they discover that they have been trapped inside the house and are given the monty hall choice of exiting through the door marked belief or the one marked disbelief.
Review of Heretic
I can recognize this as not a fantastic movie, however, I was thoroughly entertained for my own reasons. Having served a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, I was pumped to see a Hollywood movie premise around the experience, which is very unique. Most of my enjoyment was from picking apart what they got wrong and what they got right, so your mileage will vary.
That being said, it’s a unique premise, and the themes of religion, belief, and doubt are rarely given this much thought and analysis in a horror movie.
I thought the performances were great. I love Hugh Grant as a character actor more than as a romantic lead. He is properly menacing as a spider entrapping these women in his web. The female leads both did very well, especially Sophie Thatcher portraying the awkward earnest humor of a Mormon Missionary.
The writing and pacing is very inconsistent. Some stretches of exposition dumps come off as heavy handed and preachy. There were some character inconsistencies, and I’m sure there are plenty of plot holes to fill.
The first act is definitely the best, and most of it you see in the trailer. The dread and terror as the Sisters slowly realize that they are in real danger and try to navigate politely out of the situation is really spot on.
Score
6/10
Possum (2018) Review
Nov 06, 2024
Synopsis
Possum is about a disgraced puppeteer named Philip who is fired from his job after an unknown workplace incident and returns to his childhood home to destroy his puppet and face his past. While Philip wanders around his old town trying to make sense of his traumatic past, a local schoolboy goes missing. Philips’s uncle Maurice lives a lifestyle of squaller and filth as a squatter in Philips’s old home, and the two have a lovely and passionate reunion. Uh just kidding Philip hates Maurice, and the two have many strained and uncomfortable conversations over the course of the movie. Philip attempts multiple times to rid himself of his creepy puppet who he calls possum, and learns more about his past along the way.
Review of Possum
Possum is a very slow burn with minimal dialogue and odd acting styles. The actor playing the main character, Philip, looks like he has no idea how to stand like a normal human being, and I love that. The movie is low-budget, and it definitely shows. The whole thing was basically just filming a man running around with a puppet. Not much happens for the majority of the movie, and sometimes it feels like you are watching pretty much nothing. But, there are layers to this film. It is all about running from your trauma, and how you can’t escape it unless you face it. The puppet is creepy, the house is disgusting, Maurice is disgusting-er, and I was left with a rotten and hollow feeling after watching this movie.
Score
7/10
The Blackcoat’s Daughter Review
Oct 30, 2024
Synopsis
Oz Perkins’s debut feature film follows two girls, Kat and Rose, who attend a Catholic boarding school in upstate New York. When both of their parents fail to pick them up for February break, Rose is put in charge of taking care of Kat. We also follow an older girl named Joan, who seems as if she has escaped a psych ward and is on the run, when she meets a respectful couple who offer to take her to where she needs to go. Kat believes her parents have died and they are no longer going to pick her up, while Rose struggles with the possibility of being pregnant and does not look after Kat like she was supposed to. Suspicions about Kat’s late night unsupervised hijinx and Joan’s motivations for traveling rise as the mysteries unfold to the viewer’s unsuspecting but curious eyes.
Review
I love this film. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve watched it and I always forget how it ends. The mystery of all of the characters and their motivations is intriguing and special. Right off the bat with the scary dream sequence as the first scene of this film, I was hooked. The vibe is foreboding, horrifying, creepy, just all around a feeling of dread through the entire 95 minute runtime. It is tight, it is full of suspense and grief, and it is a genius way to tell the story like writer director Oz Perkins does. There is honestly nothing wrong with this film in my eyes, it is fully perfect. It is horrible, but you feel for each of the characters. You want to dive into their brains and Perkins does a good job at letting you know their feelings and motivations at every stop. The twist near the end is damn near perfect. I will always love this movie. Better than Longlegs in my opinion.
Score
10/10
Smile 2 Review & Interview with Brande Roderick
Oct 23, 2024
Synopsis
The smile virus/demon from Smile is back and is tormenting a young pop star named Skye Riley. Skye is a recovering addict attempting to relaunch her career with a world tour. While visiting her former dealer to score some pain killers for a back injury, she witnesses him commit suicide in front of her and infect her with some kind of ancient evil. Adding to the pressures of fame, rehearsals, and recovery; she is beset by hallucinations of people with creepy smiles out to get her.
Review of Smile 2
This smile demon concept is like the lovechild of The Evil Dead and It Follows, and frankly, I’m a fan. This film was artistically made, delved deep into themes of trauma and mental health in a unique and terrifying way. I couldn’t help but think of the public mental breakdowns of celebrities like Brittany Spears while watching this movie. It really gives perspective into the pressures of a job where hundreds of people are relying on you to perform. That and the inherent creepiness of parasocial relationships with fans that are obsessed with you. It made it hard to tell where the demon ended and where this pop star’s surreal reality began.
I thought Naomi Scott was great to watch as Skye. She has very expressive eyes and portrayed the terror and helplessness of her situation very well. Parker Finn, the writer/director of this and the previous film is a talent to watch. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with outside of this franchise.
Score
9/10
Terrifier 3 Review
Oct 16, 2024
Synopsis
Terrifier 3 is a sweet hallmark-esk Christmas movie about a middle-class family working through the stress of the holiday season. Mom is bored with her suburban lifestyle and Dad is constantly tired at work because he keeps being woken up by sweet little Suzy who has crazy dreams when she has too much sugar before bed. Oh yeah, and a clown dressed as Santa possessed by the devil wielding an ax is there as well. In reality, terrifier 3 is the continuation of the Terrifier franchise featuring Art the Killer Clown. After resurrecting once again Art meets up with an old friend and begins a brand new killing spree. With Christmas just days away the hustle and bustle of holiday commercialism does a fantastic job of masking the fact that there is an eclectic killer dressed in bizarre mime clothes killing multiple people everywhere he goes in gruesome and disturbing ways. It’s clear that Art is dead set on finding new and inventive ways to kill people and in this installment Art really goes for new territory. He’s like the Luis and Clark of killing, he’s just gotta map out that new lush land. Sienna from the last movie is back as well and trying to recover from her trauma but doesn’t really have time to do that since she is about to experience trauma anew.
Review
Terrifier 3, terrifier 3. What more can be said about Terrifier 3 that has not yet been said. My utterance is yet a meager portion. For the true understanding lies in the viewing experience. I will never be able to explain this movie to you in a way that will give you the visceral experience I had in the theater watching flesh rip from bone. Maybe herein lies the perfect word to describe Terrifier 3. It separates. Skin from muscle. A lower jaw from the upper jaw. Left butt cheek from right butt cheek. Every way in which a body can be torn asunder, Terrifier 3 will separate. Separate the boys from the men. The weaklings from the strong. The feeble from the stable. And the queasy from the iron stomachs. I had a great time watching this disgusting movie. However, I won’t pretend it was a perfect movie. It was pretty predictable. I knew Art would kill people and that Art killing people would take up a significant portion of the runtime, most of which doesn’t add much to the actual plot. But hey, that’s just terrifier baby.
Score 8/10
Darling (2015) Review with Jordyn Wilson
Oct 09, 2024
Synopsis
A woman called Darling is hired to house sit at a fancy, old, big haunted house in the middle of New York City. As she spends her days alone, she figures out the house’s ghostly past and slowly succumbs to the madness of the house’s, and her own, lore.
Review
I first watched this movie back in high school and thought it was the epitome of slow burn, creepy, woman-goes-insane horror films. As I have a lot more horror movie experience now (and film experience in general), I realize that this is basically a rip off of Repulsion (1965). This isn’t to say it’s a bad movie by any means; the many jump cuts and jump scares keep you on your toes (it could be argued that there are too many of these quick scenes), and there is an overall eerie feeling that is hard to shake once you finish. But, it’s not the best movie of a woman going insane. There are plenty of those, horror or not, that execute the trope a lot better than this one did. The first act is boring as all hell but the second and third ramp up the action just a little bit, and the main actress Lauren Ashely Carter is a very good Kristen Stewart type. Contrary to how I sound, I do enjoy this film, just not as much as I did when I was 16.
Score
6/10
The Devil’s Rejects Review
Oct 02, 2024
Synopsis
The Devil’s Rejects is about three people that embody what Democrats imagine Trump voters to be. In this sequel to House of 1000 Corpses, the Firefly family are on the run from the law. Along the way, they wantonly murder and torture innocent victims for their enjoyment. And that’s pretty much it really. No themes are explored. No lessons are learned. It’s mostly just everyone yelling “fuck you” to each other for an hour and 46 mins.
Review of The Devil’s Rejects
Is it “good”? No. It’s not good, But I will say it’s about 50% better than House of 1000 Corpses. It has a higher budget, is more artistically shot, and has a few ok moments in it. However, like House, this is really a big bag of nothing. It’s just like watching pigs wallow in the mire. Instead of pigs, it’s annoying and psychotic white trash, and instead of a mire, it’s gore and swearing. I tapped into my Mormon brain while watching this, and thought to myself, they are so disrespectful.
It literally took me 5 hours to get through between the forced ad breaks, and my self imposed breaks. It’s just a slog and doesn’t really have any redeeming artistic merit to justify itself. Anything really interesting is stolen from another movie that did it better.
Why Patrons do you do this to us? Why?
Score
3/10
The Substance Review
Sep 25, 2024
Synopsis
The Substance follows Elisabeth Sparkle, a big time celebrity host of an 80s workout tv show, who turns 50 years old and gets sacked in pursuit of someone younger and “hotter” to host the show. After getting in a car crash, she meets a mysterious stranger who tells her about the substance, which can create a younger, more beautiful, better version of yourself. Lizzie decides to go through with this, and the results change the rest of her life forever.
Review
This movie is a doozy. It’s fun and stylistic and seemingly poses an important question about misogyny in Hollywood, women not being allowed to age, the emphasis on beauty no matter how painful, etc, but the commentary falls flat. In Coralie Fargeat’s first film, Revenge, I noticed a very similar occurrence. There is potential in The Substance for important discussions, but it turns into an extremist monster-esque chaotic clusterfuck instead of really giving us some answers, or at least worthwhile commentary. The film is more concerned about style than substance (which is ironic because of the name) and I think that works in its favor in certain areas, and works against it in others. Overall it is interesting, definitely a new trope and the setup is promising, there are some incredible shots and set dressings and the color scheme is captivating. Demi Moore gives an all time performance. There are some really great scenes but ultimately the execution of this film and its message or lack thereof is not where I’d want it to be or expect it to be.
Score
6/10
Speak No Evil (2024) Review
Sep 18, 2024
Synopsis
While on vacation, or holiday as the British say, the American expat Dalton family meet another family of three headed by Paddy (James McAvoy). After they return to their flat in London, they receive a postcard from Paddy inviting them to spend a long weekend with their family at their farm in the Western countryside of Britain. Initially hesitant, since they barely know each other, the Daltons decide to go. As the weekend progresses, Paddy’s jovial irreverent demeanor reveals a more overbearing and nefarious personality underneath. By the time they find out how much danger they are in, it’s too late, and the Daltons fight to escape. If you think that that synopsis is too spoilery, you should see the trailer!
Review of Speak No Evil (2024)
As many of you know, this is a remake of a Danish film of the same name that only came out two years ago. I was the only one here that hasn’t seen it before my viewing, so my experience with it is different from Max and Sydney. I think it gives my review less of a bias.
I think this movie is really good. On it’s own it is a very compelling thriller that is well crafted and acted. James McAvoy really shines as Paddy, and perfectly strikes the tone of an overbearing line pusher with a barely contained rage underneath.
Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis playing ben and Louise act as the perfect foil to Paddy and each others characters.
I found the set up and character development throughout the film to be rich and interesting, and it made the awkward and disturbing situations more interesting because it felt very real.
The fans of the original will have a real beef with the ending, which is way more Hollywood and safe for a thriller, but for me it still works great.
Score
8/10
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Review
Sep 11, 2024
Synopsis
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice picks up thirty years after the events of the first film, with Delia Deetz being a famous artist, Lydia having her own ghost adventures type show, and her daughter Astrid being a goth angsty teen. The Deetz family has to deal with the sudden loss of the paternal figure in their lives while also grappling with their own individual battles. When Astrid, played by Jenna Ortega, gets stuck in the afterlife and Beetlejuice’s ex wife Delores, played by Monica Belluci, starts stalking him, Lydia makes another glorious deal with Beetlejuice to save her daughter and get Monica Belluci off Beetlejuice’s back. Chaos ensues.
Review
As I’ve said many times, I am not a big fan of sequels. I was not very excited to see this, since it is a sequel so many years after the first I figured it was another cash grab. That very well might be true, but I unexpectedly had a really fun time watching this. Michael Keaton soars as the titular character once again, and with this star studded cast, it is almost a perfect comedy. Catherine O’Hara remains one of the funniest women who has ever set foot on screen, and the welcome additions of Willem Dafoe and Justin Theroux also put in the work to get some laughs. A few complaints are that I think I liked the practical effects and primitive CGI in the first movie a lot better than I liked the new CGI stuff in this one. It looked corny and even though this movie isn’t geared towards kids, the sandworm looked like something out of a Nick Jr. tv show. Also, there were a lot of moving parts that could have been cut down to one A and one B plot. All in all it is a very fun, new take on the Beetlejuice universe, and I loved it.
Score
8/10
Incantation Review
Sep 04, 2024
Synopsis
Incantation is a classic tale of three ghost hunters who travel to a secluded village in order to learn more about their spooky traditions and gather footage for their Youtube channel. However their journey quickly goes from silly to incredibly horrifying. Years later, the curse of the mother Buddha deity still remains.
Review of Incantation
Incantation is one of my favorite horror movies in recent years. Its kind of a hidden gem with no theatrical release. A lot of people in the horror community talk about wanting to find a movie that is actually scary and I really do think that this is it. I don’t want to hype it up too much for those of you who haven’t seen it because I don’t want you to have unrealistic expectations, but when I watched this movie for the first time I had to pause it and turn on the lights because I got too scared. It pulls the viewer into the story making you apart of the nightmare and for that this feels more like an experience than a movie. It wastes no time and gets scary within 5 minutes. If you haven’t checked it out please do yourself a favor and watch Incantation.
Score: 10/10
Late Night with the Devil Review
Aug 28, 2024
Synopsis
On a live broadcast during Halloween on sweeps week in 1977, a failing late night talk show starring Jack Delroy (played by David Dastmalchian) interviews a cult survivor supposedly possessed by a demon. The audience is amazed and horrified by the demonstration and Delroy soon finds himself out of his depth. But instead of heeding caution, he doubles down on the bit to save his show from cancellation to disastrous consequence.
Review of Late Night with the Devil
This movie has a great premise. What if you showed Regan from The Exorcist on a talkshow next to obvious fake psychics and debunkers that often appeared on late night. The talk show is a format that everyone is familiar with, and even the guests previous to the possessed little girl should all be recognizable stand ins for real life talk show guests such as Uri Gellar and James Randi.
The biggest setback is that the writing and acting a little too on-the-nose, and it ends up feeling a little cringe. In what could be a super compelling and real-feeling found footage film, the artificiality really pulls you out of the moment and you definitely feel like you are watching a movie. It’s like when you see a movie or show about a stand up comedian, and the actor isn’t able to be convincingly funny but is met with uproarious laughter from the fake audience. It’s a type of uncanny valley that is created when actors aren’t able to match the charisma and timing of a seasoned professional, in this case, talk show host.
They made the genius move to explain that this is a failing talk show, so Jack Delroy’s wooden presence and indiscernible personality actually sells the “why”.
That being said, this movie does have some good bones. The plot structure and utilization of the talk show format is great. It lends a new backdrop to the horror cliche of demonic possession.
The tension ramps up convincingly, and the inevitable trainwreck that is foreshadowed is satisfying.
I just wish they would have aimed for more realism in the writing and acting.
Score
6/10
Alien Romulus Review
Aug 21, 2024
Synopsis
Alien Romulus is about a young woman named Rain, and her Robot Brother Andy are stuck on a slave labor planet that never sees sunlight. On the day they finish their slave sentences and have technically earned their freedom, they are told that another 6 years have randomly been added. This is incredibly devastating for Rain, but not so much for Andy cause he is a robot and has zero emotion the whole movie. Anyways, Rain’s friends convince her and Andy to join them in a dangerous plan to hijack an abandoned ship in their planet’s orbit and use it to travel to a free planet. Upon entering space and eventually the abandoned ship, things start to become more and more eerie. Dead bodies are everywhere, gravity randomly turns off and back on, and the ship is in ruins. The deeper into the ship the group travels, the more Alien they experience, and everyone gets just a bit more Romulus than they were hoping for.
Review of Alien Romulus
Alien Romulus is a really good-looking sci-fi with great visuals and a tense atmosphere. The vibes on the ship feel creepy, and there are enough interesting moments to keep me entertained for the most part. My trouble with this movie is that we dont really care about any of the characters except for Rain and Andy, and there are like 5 other characters. The movie drops little hints about these people’s lives like “Oh this person is pregnant” or “This person’s mom was killed by a robot” but it never really explores these things and in the end, I just didn’t care about any of these people. The movie also doesn’t really add anything all that new to the franchise. The ending does have something new which I won’t spoil, and I actually found pretty cool, but for the most part, the movie kept being like “hey! Remember face huggers!” or “hey! Remember the chest-bursting scene from the original! What if we did that again! Cool right?” and that was just starting to get a little boring. The movie is 2 hours long and while I was pretty engaged with it for the first half, the second half dragged a little for me. Its not a terrible movie, but I’m gonna give it a score of
Score 5/10
Cuckoo Review
Aug 14, 2024
If I had a nickel for every horror movie starring a main cast member of Euphoria released this year, I’d have three nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened thrice. This episode we talk about Cuckoo a new limited release horror movie out now in theaters written and directed by Tilman Singer. Stay tuned whores
Synopsis
This movie is about an American girl dragged along to a resort in the Bavarian Alps. Something seems off about the way that random guests barf all the time, and how time loops back on itself for some reason. I mean, it could drive a person Cuckoo!
Review of Cuckoo
This one has a lot going on in it, and in the best of ways feels like an X-files episode. It’s hard to guess where it’s going. It was really twisty turny. I mean they usually do twisty turny, but this one is REALLY twisty turny.
Hunter Schafer plays the protagonist Gretchen, the moody teen overcoming a recent tragedy, and she does really well in this. Her performance is helped with some of the most convincing bruise and cut makeup as she is pretty beat up through the majority of the film
The scares are few, but the tension is high. Singer does a good job at maintaining the feeling of being trapped in various ways. First as being a teen dragged along with the family, then as a patient in a hospital, then as a prisoner almost of the resort.
Dan Stevens also is great as the smarmy resort owner bad guy.
It is engaging throughout, but starts to get a little sketchy towards the end where it feels like it has to wedge in all the necessary exposition. I’m still confused about why some stuff happened at the end and felt like there were still some loose ends with explaining the “Cuckoo”, but overall it felt satisfying.
Score
8/10
Trap Review
Aug 07, 2024
Synopsis
Trap is a movie that follows Cooper, a seemingly normal dad who takes his daughter, Riley, to her favorite artist’s concert. Once there, Cooper is told that the whole concert is a trap to catch a serial killer who is colloquially called The Butcher. Plot twist (but not a plot twist because it is given in the trailer) is that Cooper is the Butcher, and he needs to find a way to escape the heavily guarded arena without getting caught.
Review
I was very excited for this movie, I thought the trailer looked awesome and M Night has some good hits (The Visit, Signs, obviously The Sixth Sense). After about fifteen minutes of pure concert, I was completely checked out. This movie is boring, it is unfulfilling, the trailer gives away most of the interesting plot. Even though a serial killer trying not to get caught while surrounded by SWAT teams and the FBI is really high stakes, the movie doesn’t make that apparent whatsoever. The classic ending “twist” that M Night always does falls flat in this one, and at that point I was honestly just waiting for it to be over. Josh Hartnett is an impeccable actor, but with this crappy script he didn’t have much to work with, and most of the other actors are not up to his caliber. I didn’t care much for the characters and overall it was just boring. A complete drag. The only character that was redeemable was the vendor played by Jonathan Langdon, his performance solidified by the fun post credit scene. And when Josh Harnett took his shirt off, it gained a point back in my book. I can see this getting mixed reviews, like most of M Night’s films, and I am a part of the dislike club.
Score
3/10
Oddity Review & Interview with Amber Victoria from The Skeleton Key Odditorium
Jul 31, 2024
Synopsis
Oddity is a morality tale about why you shouldn’t cross witchy women. When a blind woman’s sister is murdered in a remote country estate, she uses her arcane knowledge and abilities to uncover the true identity of her murderer.
Review of Oddity
I really liked this movie. It came under the radar and we almost didn’t review it, but I’m glad we did, because I think I actually did like this one better than Longlegs.
The film starts out basically with a prologue of what you see in the trailer, and acts as a really taut short film. A Woman answers the door to a creepy one eyed man that says that she’s not safe inside and needs to let him in. We are given just enough information to make this situation plausible and build dread.
That is a common thread through the film. We are given just enough information to constantly be uneasy and uncertain throughout the whole film. It really is structurally impressive, plot-wise.
There isn’t a ton of character development, but there is a constant stream of revelations and situations that keep the film engaging.
One criticism may be that there isn’t much of an emotional element in the film, the characters all seem very cold. However, each character has enough of a personality and backstory to make their interactions and decisions interesting.
There are several moments and lines that had me laughing out loud, including the ending. There were also some really effective jumpscares.
On the surface, this movie utilizes a lot of tropes that are crutches for a lot of supernatural horror movies. The spooky dark house. The strange sounds in the darkness. Stretches of tense silence leading up to jump scares. But for some reason, instead of rolling my eyes, I was truly engaged with this movie. I think it’s because all of the reality-based elements seem plausible, and all the supernatural elements seem interesting or novel.
I think it’s a great movie, and honestly I don’t have any real criticisms or anything that bothered me with it.
Score
10/10
Interview with Amber Victoria from The Skeleton Key Odditorium
Bryce: Today, we welcome Amber Victoria, owner and operator of the Skeleton Key Auditorium Museum and Oddity Shop in Portland, Oregon. It’s a retail shop that specializes in oddities, antiques, curiosities, Gothic art, gifts, crystals, tarot cards, dolls, metaphysical items, clothing, and souvenirs. The auditorium is a historical museum designed to provide intrigue and a better understanding of the human experience through exploring the strange, unusual, and gloomy characteristics of our history. It was recently voted as the runner-up for Portland’s Best Museum, just underneath the multi-million dollar Portland Art Museum and OMSI. So, it’s pretty high praise for a museum. Anyways, welcome, Amber Victoria!
Sydney: Welcome!
Amber: Hello. Yay, thank you. Thank you for having me.
Bryce: So, Amber, why don’t you tell us a little bit about how you got started? What’s the story with you and the Skeleton Key?
Amber: Well, it kind of started almost 10 years ago. I’ve always loved old things and was more of a Ren fair kind of person. I was doing immersion events and collected a lot of odd things. Eventually, I started collecting too much stuff, so I began selling items at Curiosities Vintage Mall about nine years ago. It just evolved from there. People really liked my odd things, so I decided to open a brick-and-mortar shop in 2020. And here we are, still doing it.
Bryce: So, when did you open the brick-and-mortar shop?
Amber: I opened it in 2020 on Belmont. It was a small oddity shop, about 600 square feet. When the lease was up, we moved downtown, and I brought my partner along. We decided to open a museum because there was so much knowledge and so many items. People were always asking questions, and we wanted to educate and preserve these items in a fun, interactive space full of oddities.
Bryce: Awesome. When you opened the brick-and-mortar, how much did you have to augment your existing collection to open the store?
Amber: I literally brought everything from my house. I had been planning it for a long time. I would find things and think, “This is going to be the register table,” and it would sit in my garage until the moment was right. The pandemic really pushed me to do it because I was working in the service industry, and we lost that opportunity in 2020. So, I crowdfunded and finally opened up my shop.
Bryce: That’s awesome. It must have been hard to start a business during the pandemic.
Sydney: That’s so exciting.
Amber: It was pretty brave, a bold move, but at that time, you were thinking, “I might just die, so why not?”
Sydney: Yeah, exactly.
Bryce: Nice. So, if someone comes into the shop—actually, my first question is, you said you watched “Oddity” last night. What’s your impression of the movie, and how accurate is it for an oddities dealer?
Amber: I was curious why I was being interviewed for this movie, so I watched it and thought, “I see.” It was a good movie; I kind of figured out the plot early on. The fun part was the psychic character who claimed the items were haunted. I can understand that because these items have been around for hundreds of years, and there’s this law called the law of contamination. When you touch an item, it imprints your energy on it. Sometimes, you pick up an old, macabre piece and feel the sadness. While these items aren’t cursed, they’re definitely kind of haunted in a way.
Bryce: Nice, creepy. Sydney, did you have any questions?
Sydney: Yeah, what’s your favorite piece in either the store or the museum? Also, what’s the most haunted or cursed item, and are they the same?
Amber: I don’t think haunted and cursed are the same. My favorite piece in the museum is a hair wreath from 1883 with the name “Grandma Elizabeth Sorensen” on the back. They used to take a person’s hair and weave it into flowers to make a wreath as a way to honor them after death. It’s a beautiful example of Victorian mourning practices. The most haunted object, in my opinion, is a Civil War-era child’s casket. When I brought it into my home, I had a dream about a little girl with curls holding her stomach, and I realized that might be the energy imprinted on the object. Haunted and cursed objects can affect people differently, depending on their intuition.
Sydney: Interesting.
Bryce: What’s the most common question people ask when they come into the store?
Amber: The most common question is, “What is this place?” Many people don’t know what an oddity is. They ask why we’re selling these little things in jars, and I tell them it’s for fun and preservation.
Bryce: Yeah, give our audience an idea of what kind of items they can find in your store.
Amber: I’m an antique enthusiast, especially when it comes to odd antiques. An oddity is anything with an odd story. For example, a mundane item like a bell becomes an oddity when you attach a macabre story to it. We have items like branding irons, hair jewelry, and salt dishes. They might seem mundane, but with the right story, they become oddities.
Bryce: Nice. Have you always enjoyed creepy stuff, or was there a moment when you started liking it?
Amber: When I was about 11, my best friend and I would rent the goriest movies and watch “Tales from the Crypt” and “Faces of Death.” I’ve always been into it. I was a goth and a witch in my youth, and this is just who I am. It has evolved into this.
Sydney: Hell yeah.
Bryce: What’s your favorite horror movie?
Amber: As an adult, I struggle with anxiety, so I prefer lighter stuff now. But “Killer Clowns from Outer Space” is my favorite. I love clowns.
Sydney: That’s awesome. I’m actually going to Salem, Massachusetts tomorrow. There are some shops there with oddities, and some have a real presence. Do you have taxidermy in your shop, or is it more inanimate items?
Amber: We have taxidermy, including ethically sourced animals from local preservation artists. For example, we have little mice dressed as fairies. We also have a baboon and raccoons. We sell some gimmicky things as part of retail, but we try to keep it authentic. I’m a picker, so I go out a few times a week looking for unique antiques.
Bryce: I saw on your website that you have wet specimens. Do you have formaldehyde snakes and similar items?
Amber: Yes, we do. For example, we have a puppy with gastroschisis in a jar, among other specimens.
Sydney: That’s cool. I used to have a stingray in formaldehyde. It was our pet in college. If I ever move to Portland, I’m working for you because this is so cool.
Amber: It’s a fun space for me. I definitely enjoy curating it.
Bryce: Two questions: Is there any white whale or item you wish you had in the store but haven’t found yet?
Amber: My dream pieces are an 1890 Ouija board, the original William Fuld board, and a first edition of “Dracula.” I’ve seen the Ouija board online for about $2,000, but I want to find it in the wild. The oldest Ouija board I own is from 1907. The first edition “Dracula” is a $28,000 book, but I’m always searching estate sales for it.
Bryce: Nice. I wonder if PALS has ever had a first edition “Dracula.”
Amber: If they did, they would know what they had.
Bryce: And the last question: What’s the strangest thing you’ve come across or had in your shop?
Amber: Everything’s pretty strange, but one standout is a two-headed calf from the 1930s sideshow circuit. A local oddity dealer walked in and sold it to me because he wanted to buy a two-headed kitten.
Sydney: It’s a fair trade. Two-headed calves are cool and rare.
Amber: Yeah, I want kittens too.
Bryce: Where can people find you online, and how can our listeners support you?
Amber: You can visit us at skeletonkeyauditorium.com. We don’t do much retail online because most items are locally sourced, but you can come into the space and explore. The museum is about 2,500 square feet.
Bryce: If you’re in Portland, we’re located at 939 Southwest 10th Avenue, just down the street from the Art Museum. Check out skeletonkeyauditorium.com, and follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Skeleton Key Auditorium. Thank you so much, Amber Victoria, for coming on the show. I’ll definitely visit your store soon.
Amber: We’d love to see you. Thank you for having me.
Sydney: Yeah, thank you. It was nice to meet you. This was really fun.
Grave Encounters follows a Zak Baggins/Ghost Adventures type crew while they film their first season of the titular show, constantly in search of new scares and not afraid to create their own for movie magic. They go to stay at an abandoned mental hospital in Maryland, where they get locked inside for 8 hours in hopes of getting some good footage and getting the hell out of there. Not expecting to see anything out of the ordinary, they are in for more than they bargained for.
Review of Grave Encounters
This is a very fun movie. There’s plenty of things to laugh at throughout to relieve you from the unexpected jump scares of ghouls and goblins. It’s not as serious and dreadful as something like Paranormal Activity, but it’s not trying to be something like that. They don’t waste much time getting into the nitty gritty of how haunted the asylum really is. The pacing is good and the scares are effective even on a repeat watch. The main problem I have with this movie is that the end drags on for a bit too long, it could have been a little tighter in the beginning and in the end, but the meat in the middle works. All in all, it is a good scary movie, it’s a fun time, but as you watch it multiple times it gets less effective.
Score
7/10
Longlegs Review
Jul 17, 2024
Synopsis
In Longlegs, the FBI is on a manhunt for a mysterious killer named Longlegs, who somehow convinces whole families to kill each other and themselves. Agent Lee Harker is on the case and she is quickly shown to have psychic powers, or at least half psychic powers which may be useful to the FBI. The details of the murders and the clues left behind are creepy, and Agent Harker must first learn to piece together her past before she can finally piece together this case.
Review of Longlegs
Longlegs is a long-awaited horror movie that gained interest through vague and ominous marketing, as well as keeping the plot of the movie close to the chest. I had absolutely no idea what this movie was about going in, but I had high expectations simply because so many people were talking about this movie. The movie is very well shot and the atmosphere is creepy the entire time. It has a similar feel to movies like Silence of the Lambs and Seven but is maybe a little slower than both of those movies. Any time Nicholas Cage is on screen I am having a great time. His character feels interesting and is visually scary to look at with his makeup, and his voice gave me chills. My only complaints about this movie was that some of the dialogue felt super cheezy, especially when they are talking about the devil and worshiping satan. I think they could have maybe come up with something a tad more original. In my opinion, worshiping the devil doesn’t really feel scary, it just feels a little bit cringe. The movie was also a little slow and probably could have benefited from a few more scary scenes in the middle of the movie, but other than that it was pretty fun
Score
8/10
Maxxxine Review
Jul 10, 2024
Synopsis
Maxxxine follows the titular character as she attempts to leave the porno film industry and enter into mainstream Hollywood. She’s haunted by her past and is traumatized by the events of X that happened 6 years previously where she was the sole survivor of a homicidal elderly couple (spoilers). While struggling with the trauma and the difficulties of navigating Hollywood, several of her friends and acquaintances are murdered by a mysterious figure with black leather gloves. Will she achieve hollywood stardom? Will she be charged for murdering an elderly woman in Texas? Will she foil Dr Claw’s plan to use a missile silo to launch a missile to destroy Metro City? Watch Maxxxine or skip forward to our spoiler section to find out.
Review of Maxxine
Maxxine continues the exploitation genre throwback vibe of X and Pearl, but this one is much less stylized, and frankly, less horror focused. It’s more of a thriller/horror that is about as close as you come to an American Giallo.
Maxine is surrounded by colleagues and acquaintances, but the maximum extent of the character development for them is “gay”. They end up all being disposable fodder for the prototypical faceless Giallo villain.
Maxxxine, as we’ve seen in X is super capable and driven, and it ends up being one of the pitfalls of the movie. She is such a bad bitch that you never really believe she is in danger. Therefore, there isn’t much of an arc in her character or the plot. It ends up being a waiting game to learn whodunnit.
The cast is great, and includes Kevin Bacon doing an impression of Daniel Craig’s Cajun accent. Giancarlo Esposito plays a character that isn’t a rip off of Gus Fring, and there are other actors too.
This film is a tribute to 80s cinema, and as such Ti West limited technology to that of the time period. It doesn’t really seem noticeable in terms of quality of the visuals, but there are some very visceral practical effects that 80s horror fans will love.
It’s an enjoyable movie, and if you liked X and Pearl, this is a good capper, but for me it wasn’t as interesting as those films.
Score
7/10
1408 Review
Jul 03, 2024
Synopsis
1408 is a film that follows Mike Enslin, played by John Cusack, a corny horror novelist who specializes in writing about the scariest, spookiest places he’s ever been. Although he spends a lot of time in “haunted” places, he has never seen any paranormal activity and does not believe in ghosts. He then receives a cryptic postcard from the Dolphin Hotel in New York City that states, “Don’t stay in 1408.” Intrigued by this gesture and not at all deterred, he goes against the wishes of the postcard and of the staff of the hotel and books the room, hoping to finally get scared.
Review
This is the ultimate sleeper pick. This movie is not very well known or well talked about in horror movie communities, to my knowledge anyway, and after a second viewing I firmly believe this is one of the best horror movies. The viewer is never bored, stuff happens so quickly and so often in this film that it was extremely difficult to take notes on it because I almost always missed something. The pacing is something to look up to, it keeps you engaged from the moment you turn it on to the moment it ends. It is scary and certainly anxiety inducing. This is a great adaptation of a Stephen King and even if you don’t love Stephen King, you will love this movie if you are a horror fan. There are not many problems with this movie. Sometimes the directing style is a bit dated and the acting can be a little slapstick at times, but it doesn’t fully take away from how good it is. It is definitely not perfect, but it is entertaining and quite dreadful.
Score
8/10
The Exorcism Review
Jun 26, 2024
Synopsis
The Exorcism is about Farther Gabriel Amorth played by Russel Crowe, who…wait no sorry that’s the popes exorcist I keep getting confused. The exorcism is really about Anthony or Tony played by Russel Crowe who is a washed up actor who tries out for a leading role in an upcoming exorcism movie while attempting to overcome his serious drinking problem. With the loss of his wife, Tony sends his teenage daughter Lee to a catholic boarding school, but when she is kicked out for in her words “protesting” but in the words of the law “vandalism”, she returns home and the reunion is tense. When Tony lands the role as the exorcist in this new emotional drama in the format of a horror movie weird things start happening on and off set. Will Tony survive the making of this movie? Will his family survive his alcoholism? Will Russel Crowe be in another exorcism movie next year? Whose to say.
Review of The Exorcism
My review for the exorcism is that it is pretty much exactly what I expected it to be. Its a catholic horror movie about a demon who needs to be exorcised. The scares aren’t that interesting, and some of the jump scares are so loud and quickly cut that I literally didn’t even know what happening. It was just startling and gave me zero information about what was actually going on in the film. Russel Crowes acting was actually pretty good in my opinion, but I think his voice is so deep and gravelly that it could be that I just enjoyed listening to him talk. The other star of the movie for me was the director played by Adam Goldberg who delivers both the funniest lines in the movie and the most emotionally brutal lines. The rest of the cast is kind of whatever to me. My favorite part of the movie was how it demonstrated the exploitation of trauma in the film industry which was pretty sad to watch. My least favorite parts were anything dealing with the demon cause I didn’t even really get what was happening or why. Maybe this really was a drama cloaked as a horror movie after all.
Score 4/10
2 Girls 1 Cup Review and Reaction
Jun 23, 2024
https://youtu.be/lju9lJVRlGM
Synopsis
The film follows the lives of two women as they navigate an uncharted territory of human experience, exploring themes of desire, taboo, and the limits of societal norms. The narrative delves into the depths of physical and emotional extremes.
It starts out in medias res with a young couple engaging in a love making session, after which, they enjoy a home cooked meal. However, the film quickly turns dark as they both develop food poisoning. Their bond remains strong and they struggle through sickness together powered by their love.
Review
Not since Skinamarink have I seen such a daring and controversial film push the boundaries of conventional filmmaking and audience tolerance.
Unlike Skinamarink, 2 Girls 1 Cup lives up to the hype, andI felt engaged throughout the duration of the film.
It’s not without it’s faults. I would have preferred more character development and I felt the pacing was too fast to digest on first viewing. The soundtrack at times felt like it was disconnected from the action on screen. I know a lot of films score against the tone of the film to great effect, such as in Tarantino films, but this one just felt out of place and overly maudlin.
What I liked about the film was it’s unflinching portrayal of two lovers struggling through hardship together. It’s a film that will stay with me for some time, and I imagine I’ll revisit again in the future.
Score
10/10
The Watchers (2024) Review
Jun 19, 2024
Who watches the watchers? We do! In this episode of Horror Movie Talk, we review the nepo baby Ishana Night Shyamalan’s new horror movie The Watchers. Should you watch it? Watch to find out.
Synopsis
The watchers is the first feature length film by writer/director Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of M Night Shyamalan. Her previous work includes being a writer/director on her father’s Servant series on Apple TV+.
In this film, Dakota Fanning plays Mina, an American expat in Ireland who is tasked with delivering a parrot. Along the way she gets lost in some weird woods from which there is no escape. There she finds a group of people that have also been stranded in the woods. They lead her into a solitary shelter in the middle of the forest and explain that they are to stand as display in a two way mirror for mysterious killer creatures that come out at night.
As the days pass, Mina attempts to learn more about the woods to find an escape.
Review of The Watchers
The film sits currently at 32% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I can say that that seems pretty harsh. It’s not a terrible movie, but it’s not great either. As they say in the old country, The Shyamalan doesn’t fall far from the tree. This film suffers from some of the same on-the nose dialogue and an overreliance on exposition to tell the story.
The set up is ripe for possibilities. Could it be a human zoo run by aliens or interdimensional travelers? Could it be an elaborate hallucination? Could it be a time loop? In the end, the explanation is a little more close to home and fantastical that science fiction, which was actually a welcome surprise. However, I still feel there was a lot of lost opportunity around hallucination, and shape shifting, which are both present in the story.
The film was bought purportedly for 30 million, and hasn’t yet made back half of that in the box office. If you are wondering if it is worth it to see in the theaters, I think the litmus test is whether you thought it was worth it to see Old in the theaters.
Score
5/10
The Grudge (2004) Review
Jun 12, 2024
Synopsis
The Grudge 2004 is an Americanized version of the movie Ju-on, a Japanese franchise about a curse of resentment and anger. Both Ju-on and The Grudge are directed by Takashi Shimizu, and the Grudge is produced by (among others) Sam Raimi. The movie stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen, an American who moved to Japan with her boyfriend to study nursing. While attending to her first in-home patient, Emma, who is an elderly woman with dementia, she realizes that there might be something dark lurking in the home. After some creepy occurrences, Karen has no choice but to dig deeper into the house’s history and the legends surrounding it.
Review
The Grudge has interesting ghost lore, which isn’t too different from the way we view ghosts in America, but adds emphasis on reliving the violent past, which I think is fun and gives the viewer a bit more to latch onto as far as why the ghost exists. The ghost looks extremely creepy in most scenes, with a face that genuinely terrified me as a kid, even before I had seen the movie. Its mark on pop culture is undeniable. However, a part of me likes my memory of this movie more than the movie itself. Some of the scenes feel pretty copy and paste, especially the scenes about Karen trying to research the house and learn clues. Some of the scares came off as a bit goofy, which is fine, except that the tone of the movie is very heavy, so these silly-looking scares can feel a little out of place and unintentional. Still, the movie is good, in my opinion, and has a place within my mind that will never go away.
Score: 8/10
Perfect Blue Review
Jun 05, 2024
Synopsis
Perfect Blue follows the story of Mima, a pop star who turns her life around to become an aspiring actress. As she goes deeper into her role on a crime thriller tv show, she realizes that someone might be stalking her. The line between reality and acting becomes thinner and thinner as the anxiety of fame and her potential stalker rise.
Review
This movie is impeccable. Director Satoshi Kon forces the viewer to descend into Mima’s madness by blurring the line between real and fantasy throughout the course of the film with quick cuts, disorienting scenes, and an overall sense of unknowingness. Making an anime horror film be this good, this widely received and revered is no easy feat, but Kon makes it look like a cake walk. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and one of my favorite directors of all time. The sense of dread, doom, and anxiety get bigger and bigger until it all comes to a head at the end of the movie. It is emotional, thrilling, scary, and hard to follow, but that is what makes it perfect. Perfect blue. Get it. Haha
Score
10/10
Interview with the Vampire (1994) Review
May 29, 2024
Synopsis
Based on the 1976 novel by Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles tells the autobiographical story of a Vampire named Louis de Pointe du Lac (played by Brad Pitt) being turned and taught by the vampire Lestat (Tom Cruise). They are just very good vampire friends and totally not gay.
After becoming a vampire, Louis discovers he has great powers, and uses them to have the poutiest mouth and become as emo as possible.
He makes a lot of friends along the way, including Kirsten Dunst playing a pedo’s dream, as well as Zorro.
Review of Interview with the Vampire (1994)
This is probably my favorite vampire movie, so I’m biased, but I still think it holds up. It focuses on the coolest part of the vampire stories, the vampires, and gets rid of the pesky humans.
This is also probably one of my favorite roles of Tom Cruise. His playfulness and arrogance as Lestat carries the majority of the movie.
Kirsten Dunst also puts in one of the greatest performances of her career as a convincing forty year old in a child’s body.
Brad Pitt is the only one that upon rewatching becomes less interesting every reviewing. There’s really nothing for him to do other than pout and look pretty. But granted, he does that very well here.
What the film does best is maintain a vibe of sexy morbidness.
Seeing this in my youth, I was distracted by the boobs in this movie, and only now realize how extremely gay coded the film is.
Louis’s alternating between reveling in being a vampire and being shamed by it really represented what it must have felt like to be gay in the early 90s.
The director Neil Jordan had just come off of directing The Crying Game and was really at the peak of his powers. Looking at his IMDB page, it’s only been downhill from here.
Stan Winton’s special effects and makeup is perfectly understated and makes the vampires seem otherworldly and the killings properly visceral.
A lot of stars aligned with this film and I still think it stands the test of time. If you want to watch a bunch of sexy vampires almost kissing, this is the movie for you.
Score
10/10
The Strangers Chapter 1 Review
May 22, 2024
Synopsis
A couple embarks on a journey across the country for their five year anniversary. After their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere Oregon, they have no choice but to stay in a cabin in the woods. When Ryan, played by Froy Gutierrez, runs back into town to grab something he forgot out of his car, Maya played by Madeline Petsch starts hearing and seeing strange things in the cabin, almost like someone else is in the house.
Review of The Strangers Chapter 1
I really hated this movie. Like, really hated. I didn’t really know what to expect, but taking what didn’t work from the original and even at some points taking direct lines and situations from the original and cramming it into the already too long 90 minute run time was atrocious. I don’t know if I was just tired, but I almost fell asleep at multiple points due to boredom. At the beginning of the movie, there is text on screen that says this movie will show us one of the most brutal crimes committed in America. I will tell you, I have seen worse things on Twitter in the past week. The writing is terrible, it plays like a crappy ripoff of a Wayans Brothers film, I seriously laughed at a lot of points that were not supposed to be funny out of pure hatred. The two main characters who are supposed to be in a five year loving relationship have zero chemistry. Every action they take in trying to survive is the dumbest route they could have chosen. I really really hated this movie. It was bad. It degrades the masterpiece that is the original, and I mean that. The original is an incredibly scary and moving horror film, and this one shits all over it. I walked out of the theater chuckling to myself.
Score
2/10
Arachnophobia Review with David Day
May 15, 2024
Synopsis
Arachnophobia is a movie about Ross, a doctor who moves with his family to a rural town to take over the practice of the town doctor. When a Venezuelan spider arrives in the town through extremely unlikely circumstances, Ross must unravel the mysterious deaths in the town as killer spiders ravish the community. The townsfolk are dropping like flies, and it seems like the only hope for this city is a ragtag team of spider experts/doctors/exterminators/interns. Will they overcome the eight-legged hoard? Or will they be consumed by the hellish nightmare that is the common house spider?
Review of Arachnophobia
Arachnophobia is directed by Frank Marshall from a screenplay written by Don Jakoby and Wesley Strick. Starring Jeff Daniels as Ross and John Goodman as the exterminator, this movie gives a goofy and fun story that scares me to no end. I couldn’t get past a single scene without checking to see if there was a creepy crawly on my body. This movie is entertaining and enjoyable to watch, even for an arachnophobe like me. The story feels improbable, but not so far-fetched that the average spider hater won’t feel incredibly uncomfortable in their own home for weeks after watching.
Score
8/10
Tarot (2024) Review
May 08, 2024
Synopsis
A group of friends rent a mansion to celebrate one of their birthdays and run out of alcohol. In their search around the house for more booze they stumble upon an old hand painted tarot deck and Haley, the friend who can read tarot cards, reads all of their horoscopes. Then chaos ensues as they start being killed one by one by the embodiment of the ruling cards in their individual readings.
Review
This movie isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen but it is also not very good. I did like the costumes and effects of the tarot card creatures, there were a few funny lines (and by a few I mean two), but the script and acting was definitely lacking, leading it to be predictable and a bit silly in a bad way. I was worried that this movie was going to be very offensive toward tarot as a whole, but it took a different direction than I had originally thought, but it still wasn’t perfect either. I wasn’t fully entertained, I scoffed at a lot of moves the characters made, but I wasn’t completely bored either.
Score
4/10
The Birds Review
May 01, 2024
Synopsis
The Birds is a romantic comedy turned aviation nightmare. When the rich socialite and practical joker Melanie runs into a charming lawyer named Mitch in a bird shop, she does the creepiest thing ever and tracks down his name and address. After driving hours to get to his weekend home in a small town called Bodega Bay. As Mitch and Melanie slowly but surely fall in love, the birds in the area seem to be going crazy and possibly waging a Planet of the Apes-style war except in this movie, the apes are birds. Eyes are plucked out. Hair is messed up. They kiss. What more could you ask for?
Review of The Birds
The Birds, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, is a movie that cant really surprise you in any way. It’s basically exactly what you would expect it to be, a movie about birds that attack people. Melanie played by Tippi Hedren is annoying at times, but her creepy love for Mitch played by Rod Taylor is enjoyable enough to keep me engaged with the film. For me, it almost seemed random how the movie would be focusing on the relationship that building between these characters, and them some bird would just swoop out of the air and attack. There isn’t a lot of buildup or explanation about why the birds are attacking. In fact there is even a moment where the characters meet a bird expert, which would have been a good time to maybe give some information about why all this might be happening, but the bird expert somehow is completely wrong about everything she says, making me wonder why they even included that scene at all. In the end, it is a fine movie that kept me engaged enough throughout most of it but not really anything special to me.
Score
6/10
Abigail Review
Apr 24, 2024
The newest horror movie Abigail from the guys that directed Ready or Not and the latest Scream movies, is in theaters now. Despite the trailer spoiling everything, it’s still a fun ride.
Synopsis
An elite operative team is assembled to kidnap a billionaire’s 12 year old daughter for ransom. They soon realize that they are in over their heads once it’s revealed the little girl played by Matilda’s Alisha Weir, is actually a centuries old vampire. Wacky hijinks ensue.
Review of Abigail
I had a mix of high expectations and low expectations going into this film. While the director’s filmography included Ready or Not, one of my favorite recent horror movies, the trailer pretty much gives away the whole plot, and had low quality Blumhouse vibes.
I ended up really liking the movie. It’s going to be one of those movies that the less you know about it the more that you’ll like it. It establishes a micro subgenre of switcheroo vampire movies with From Dusk Till Dawn.
The film starts out as a typical heist thriller that knowingly points out the cliche archetypes of the assembled team, then quickly subverts them by giving them slightly more depth.
The titular character Abigail seems a completely innocent victim, but there is something off about her that makes you ask, is this bad child acting, or is this character hiding something? It ends up being both.
While the movie is fun, there aren’t many super memorable moments, and plays out largely as you would expect.
The film loses something in the end with a twist that seems sudden and unearned when allegiances are changed in arbitrary ways.
Score
7/10
Creep 2 Review
Apr 17, 2024
Synopsis
Creep 2 continues the story of Aaron, played by Mark Duplass, a serial killer who posts want ads on craigslist seeking documentarians who inadvertently film their own murders. Sara, played by Desiree Akhavan, has a failing Youtube show and decides to take Aaron up on his offer. Throughout her documentary of Aaron, she empathizes with him and barely believes him while he swears he’s a serial killer. On the other hand, Aaron seems like he has finally found his match. Will he kill her? Will she kill him? Is this the end of the craigslist serial killer as we know it?
Review of Creep 2
Creep 2 is one of those sequels that actually gives a fresh look on the original. It does not repeat overdone tropes or follow the same story line whatsoever. This movie could stand alone and it still makes sense, and would still be very effective. There are funny one-liners, there are jump scares, there is a bad ass woman who won’t take any shit. This is not your typical killer chases victim movie. Besides the original, this movie is a fresh take on found footage horror, which is my favorite genre. It is excellent, it pulls all punches, and it takes you on a very adventurous ride. This truly is an exceptional feat of horror movie making as we know it. Creep was good enough, inventive enough, but this sequel takes it to a whole nother level. My only few complaints are that there could have been more fleshing out of Sara, since she is the central character, and I think knowing what’s gonna happen upon rewatching makes it a bit less effective. Other than that, it’s pretty damn good.
Score
8/10
The First Omen Review
Apr 10, 2024
Synopsis
The First Omen is a catholic horror movie and prequel to the movie The Omen. Maggie or Margaret is a catholic sister who moves from the United States to work in an all-girls orphanage and take her vows as a nun. While there she takes to a troubled girl named Carleta who seems to be slipping through the cracks of the orphanage while the other nuns consider her a lost cause and disturbed child. As she learns more about Carleta’s past Maggie struggles to protect her from the church which seems to have a sinister plan for her. The devil is involved. It’s a whole thing. The First Omen is directed by Arkasha Stevenson who co-wrote the movie with Tim Smith and Keith Thomas. Nell Tiger Free stars as Margaret and gives a stunning performance as a young nun.
Review of The First Omen
The first omen is everything that Immaculate wishes it could be. It’s dark and sinister, giving a fresh and incredibly disturbing take on catholic horror. The movie is long, which I am known for being a critic of, but I didn’t check my watch once during this two-hour-long movie. Its shocking without being distasteful, and Nell Free’s character Margaret is a delight to watch and gives a performance that I think will be studied and copied by many possession movies to come. Even with some of the seemingly out-of-nowhere revelations that keep the plot moving I enjoyed each twist and turn. Its scary, it’s disturbing, and it’s fun.
Score
8/10
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie Review
Apr 03, 2024
Synopsis
This movie, directed by John Harrison, is based off the TV series of the same name. It follows a wraparound story about a kid that is going to be cooked by a woman who kidnapped him, and he tries to get out of it by telling her stories from the titular book. This movie is an anthology, with one wraparound story and three tales from the darkside, filled with frights, fun, blood, and gore.
Review of Tales From the Darkside: The Movie
This movie is very 1990. The style, the gore remind me of late 80s early 90s horror. I have never seen the TV show, but I can see how this film could be nostalgic to those who grew up in the 80s and had a knack for horror movies. It’s always a hit or a miss when a TV show becomes a movie, but in this case, I think it is a romp. It’s fun, the gore is good, but it’s not very scary. With a 93 minute runtime and a star studded cast, I don’t think you could go very wrong with this movie. With all anthologies though, there are going to be stories within the film that are not very good, and this movie is no exception. All in all, it is a fun time. I didn’t hate it. If it wasn’t so predictable, I would give it a higher score, but it’s very average and that is okay sometimes. We don’t wanna watch the best movie of all time every single day.
Score
5/10
Patreon Exclusive Preview: Night of the Living Dead (1968) Pretentious Review
Mar 30, 2024
Synopsis
Night of the Living Dead is a zombie movie about a group of strangers who are funneled into a farmhouse and forced to work together for survival. Ben, our protagonist played by Duane Jones is a strong and courageous man who takes it upon himself to lead the group as they struggle to escape the zombie hoard entrapping them in the home. Through twists and turns they learn that friendship was what they really needed all along.
Review of Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead is a foundational horror movie that deserves to be a classic. It has a classic zombie movie feel and did a lot to inspire zombie movies in the future. Despite my enjoyment of the film, there are still points in the movie that feel slow, and the dialogue seems to repeat itself a lot when trying to explain the situation. The makeup isn’t always very convincing, at least not compared to modern zombie movies, but it’s almost refreshing to see zombies that aren’t completely covered in blood and gore. Duane Jones gives a fantastic performance as Ben, and it’s easy to root for his strong character. Judith O’Dea’s acting is a little over the top for me at times, and her character becomes pretty annoying, but hey maybe if I was in a zombie apocalypse I’d be just as scared and useless as her.
Score
8/10
Immaculate Review
Mar 27, 2024
Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney is the new religious horror film that we’ll be reviewing today, and it goes hard at the end, so stay tuned.
Synopsis
Immaculate tells the story of a young American woman with heavy naturals named Cecilia joining a convent in Italy. It’s slowly revealed to Sister Cecilia that the convent isn’t as immaculate as it seems. The priest and other nuns seem to have ulterior motives for bringing Cecilia there. Once she discovers the convent’s dark and mysterious secrets, it’s too late. She be pregonate.
Review of Immaculate
Immaculate is a Catholic horror movie that somehow avoids all the tropes associated with that label. There’s no exorcism, no devil, and not even a strong supernatural element. This subversion of expectations alone makes it an interesting horror movie.
Structurally, the film is sound, but it feels more like a framework and not fully fleshed out. The themes and implications of the story aren’t fully explored.
There is a lot of fertile ground here, in terms of exploring faith, devotion, obedience, and authority that are only skimmed over.
I wasn’t a big fan of Sydney Sweeney’s acting in the first half of the film. Her demeanor and vibe brought too much 21st century ambivalence for a character that is essentially a religious zealot. However, she won me over with her acting in the latter half of the film.
The film goes pretty hard with the gore and body horror, but what else would you expect from a movie about pregnancy? We are given an early taste with a graphic leg breaking scene in the prologue, and the final moments of the film are some of the most visceral that I’ve seen in a while.
The worst and most distracting element of the film was the sound. The score was terrible, and felt like it was out of a low budget student film. The Foley sound was almost comical with prolonged and impossibly loud creaks and squelches.
Score
7/10
An American Werewolf in London Review
Mar 20, 2024
Synopsis
Two American tourists David and Jack are hiking through Europe when they are attacked by a giant wolf in the northern moorlands of Britain. A month later during the full moon, David turns into a werewolf. But not any ordinary, this one is louder, friendlier, individualistic, and more confident than British werewolves. It wreaks havoc on London, biting and slashing through town while being openly patriotic.
Review of An American Werewolf in London
An American Werewolf in London is a classic 80’s horror movie that stands the test of time. Director John Landis brings the humor he is known for from Animal house and Blues Brothers, and combines it with the horror that he brought to behind the scenes of Twilight Zone: The Movie. The cast of relative unknowns David Naughton and Griffin Dunne bring a convincing casualness as college friends, and really sell the humor.
The real star of the show is Rick Baker’s practical effects, and the werewolf transformation stands as the gold standard of metamorphoses on camera.
While the film does have humor, I would more describe it as casual. Which is a great contrast to the gory violence and disturbing dreamy jump cuts that pop out at you throughout.
The film isn’t too ambitious and keeps the plot to a basic monster movie reminiscent of the old universal horror movies, but it is spiced up with quirky 80’s flavor.
Score
10/10
Imaginary Review
Mar 13, 2024
Synopsis
Imaginary is a PG-13 horror film about Jessica, an artist and author who recently married Max and joined his family, becoming a stepmother to two girls. When Jessica’s father is moved into a retirement home, the family moves into Jessica’s childhood house in hopes of finding a fresh start. As the family settles in, the youngest daughter, Alice, appears to have a new imaginary friend whom she spends all her time talking to. The family soon finds that this new friend is anything but imaginary as it begins to wreak havoc on the household. The movie is directed by Jeff Wadlow and written by Wadlow, Greg Erb, and Jason Oremland.
Review of Imaginary
This might be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. The script is not subtle at all, and none of the characters talk like real human beings. It’s almost like the writers knew what they wanted to tell the audience but had no idea how to convey their thoughts other than having the characters say them outright. The acting ranges from okay to downright awful, and somehow the best actor of them all might have been Piper Braun, the actress who plays the little girl. The movie could have been a tight hour and 20 minutes but chooses to drag on another 25 minutes at the end, making it feel like you’ve been in the theater for hours. Still, despite all my criticisms, there were a couple of scenes that I enjoyed, so I can’t fully commit to giving this movie a 1.
Score
2/10
The Collector Review
Mar 06, 2024
Synopsis
When a single dad who owes child support decides to rob a rich family’s home while he thinks they’re on vacation, he unexpectedly gets locked inside of a major house of horrors, with a sadistic mask wearing man who has already decided to wreak another kind of havoc on this family’s home.
Review of The Collector
The Collector (2009) is a quintessential aughts horror film. The quick cuts, the over the top gore, the good guy who is actually kind of seedy but has a good heart protagonist, the Saw-like green glow of some of the scenes is representative of the era it came out into. This movie came out the same year as Jennifer’s Body, The Human Centipede, Drag Me to Hell, Dead Snow, The Uninvited and many more very famous and quite renowned horror films. Although the critics didn’t like this one, with a 29% on Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, I think that this movie deserves some love.This movie is definitely a hidden gem, with only a $3 mil budget, compared to other horror from the same year, with budgets as high as $30 mil. Even though critics hated it, it was a box office success, grossing over $10 mil. It’s fun, it’s inventive, there are a lot of unexpected twists and turns that keep you captivated. Although it isn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen, it has rewatchable value and it has a pretty great sequel, The Collection. If you like gore, if you like interesting kills and action packed scary movies, this one’s for you.
Score
7/10
The Void Review
Feb 28, 2024
Synopsis
A cop named Daniel drives an injured man to an understaffed hospital after he finds him bleeding in the woods. Upon arrival, Daniel realizes this will not be just another day on the job as he is quickly forced to draw his weapon on a nurse, who attacks him in a manic rage. Before Daniel can call for help, the hospital is surrounded by unknown figures in hoods who won’t come inside, but won’t let anyone leave either. Wackiness ensues. Silliness abounds.
Review of The Void
The Void is some sort of hodge-podge that pulls from many different movies, creating a wild ride that barely gives the viewer time to breathe. The creature designs remind me of a monster you might have to fight in a doom video game, which is definitely a good thing, and the acting is for the most part, pretty good. Some of the twists and turns this movie takes feel a little forced to me, coming out of nowhere with what seemed like zero foreshadowing, yet instead of feeling shocked and blindsided I kind of just was like, “Oh okay. I guess that’s happening now”. I couldn’t tell if the movie was trying to say something about pregnancy, miscarriages, and losing a child. It seemed a little like it was, I just dont know how losing a child connects to triangles, pyramids, and drug-fueled sex binges, but that’s just me. Overall it’s an interesting movie, worth a watch but not a must-see for me.
Score
7/10
The House of the Devil Review
Feb 21, 2024
Before X and Pearl, Ti West brought us this 70’s horror callback.
Synopsis
Twelve years before the success of movies X and Pearl, Ti West’s first breakout feature film The House of the Devil was released. This film follows Samantha, played by Jocelin Donahoe, a broke college student trying to find a new apartment to get away from her annoying roommate. She finds a job posting that just says “Baby$itter wanted” and decides to give it a shot. After she gets into contact with a robotic creepy disembodied voice on the phone about the job, she decides to take it and have her friend, director of Barbie, take her to the house. Once she arrives to babysit, she realizes that this is not a typical babysitting job, and everyone who lives in this house is off their rocker. But, they’re paying her four times more than she asks for, so she decides it’s worth it. A scary old house in the middle of nowhere while caring for a supposed elderly woman that likes to keep to herself, where her only contact with the outside world is the pizza man, on the night of a lunar eclipse, what could go wrong? So much more than Samantha could have ever thought.
Review of The House of the Devil
After loving X and Pearl, I decided to give Ti West’s first movie a shot, and I was not disappointed. Like X and Pearl, Ti West’s editing and direction of the film is something to be revered, with his jump cuts and long shots and bone chilling zooms and set dressing, this makes for a good horror movie. It has everything a horror fan would want: pretty girls, lots of blood, a good setup for scares, a creepy attic, a weird old lady, satanic rituals, a friend who doubts the validity of the situation, and a final girl. It is shot on 16mm which gives the film a vintage horror feel, the way it was filmed and the story that was set up kind of reminded me of the original Black Christmas. Even the main characters looked alike. It is a bit slower to get into the action, but you know once you’re in it you’re in for a treat. All in all, this film is good, it is scary, it is artful, and I love seeing how directors started and how they have grown since their first films. I loved every second of it. I was scared, even upon the second watch.
Score
9/10
Lisa Frankenstein Review
Feb 14, 2024
Critics are split on this new movie from Zelda Williams and Diablo Cody, but We’re nearly unanimous, Lisa Frankenstein is a good time and you should go see it in theaters.
Synopsis
Set in the late 80’s, Lisa is the weird new girl in school dealing with the grief of her mothers death and life in a new family with a wicked stepmother and kind of nice yet condescending stepsister. She spends her free hours talking to herself and pining for love in a Bachelor’s cemetery, which is totally a thing. She has the hots for the editor of the school newspaper, and while chatting with him at a party, she drinks a spiked drink and goes into a psychedelic trip during a thunderstorm. Using 80’s logic, the lightning resurrects Lisa’s favorite grave resident unbeknownst to her. From there, it’s that age old tale of the goth girl that keeps a reanimated corpse in the friendzone while they murder people for parts.
Review of Lisa Frankenstein
Lisa Frankenstein is a mess, but it’s a fun mess. As of recording, it sits at a solid 50% critics score on Rotten Tomatoes, and I’m honestly not surprised. I predict this one will be divisive, but could ultimately become a cult classic from it’s bizarre campy charm.
The premise feels straight from the early filmography of Tim Burton, but unlike Burton, the freshman director Zelda Williams struggles with keeping a consistent style and tone throughout the film. Her background is in music videos, and it really shows in some of the narrative style of the movie, which relies heavily on visual shorthand more than hard earned character development and cause and effect.
The script written by Diablo Cody of Juno and Jennifer’s Body fame is the highlight of the film. It taps into a level of snarky and campy humor rarely seen outside of 80’s teen romcoms. Like her other scripts, this one features sharp dialogue and amusing non-sequiters from supporting characters that makes the world fun to watch.
The acting is great. Kathrine Newton who plays Lisa shifts from weird nerd to self assured goth murderess with aplomb. Cole Sprouse does great with comedic timing as the mute creature. Liza Soberano walks the line between condescension and likability really well as the step sister. Carla Gugino was the best at bringing the appropriate amount of camp to the stepmother.
The main flaws in the movie are the disjointed tone and the arbitrariness of the plot. It would have been nicer to have more effort put into the setups for the major plot shifts and character changes. Without properly establishing cause and effect, the movie can feel confusing.
But here’s the thing. With all the nitpicks I could pick at, I was smiling and chuckling throughout the whole movie. I thought it was a blast, and I give it a lot of points for originality.
Score
8/10
V/H/S Review
Feb 07, 2024
Synopsis
Four petty criminals who film their violent crimes are strapped for cash, so they find a job to break into a creepy old house to steal a mysterious VHS tape. Once they’re inside, they slowly realize that this excursion might not be worth the money, as there is a dead man waiting for them in front of a wall of TVs and about a hundred tapes to go through. As they watch them, we see the tapes from their point of view and get to see what scares are in store every step of the way.
Review of VHS
VHS is a 2012 film with nine directors, with the most notable being Ti West (of X and Pearl), David Bruckner (The Ritual, The Night House), Adam Wingard (You’re Next), Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet (Ready or Not and Scream 2022). This gaggle of directors comes together to launch their careers through five different tapes plus the main backdrop storyline to create a classic anthology film that sparked a franchise. This movie is included in the mumble-gore movement of the late aughts and early 10s, and perhaps is the most famous to come out of the genre. I have seen this film no less than six times, and while I rewatched it for this episode I realized that I knew it so well that I probably didn’t have to watch it again to recount it beat by beat and give it a score. To me, this is a modern horror classic. I really enjoy this movie, how it switches from a slowburn creep out to a ghost story to a slasher and so on. I think it is a great movie to get you into horror, it is a great movie to revisit, it is a great movie period. I am thoroughly entertained through every part of it, and even though not every tape is my favorite, I think all of it is very effective as a scary movie and I love the ambiguous ending. To quote my boyfriend when I told him what movie we were reviewing, “Oh so it’s a true syd classic.” It might be nostalgia, it might be the genotype, but whatever it is, I really love this movie.
Score
9/10
Suspiria (1977) Review
Jan 31, 2024
Synopsis
Suspiria (1977) (not to be confused with Suspiria 2018) is a movie about a young American woman named Suzie who relocates to Germany to join a prestigious dance academy. As Suzie begins to adjust to her new life, she stumbles into a world of conspiracy that seems to surround her school and the dance instructors. People start to go missing while Suzie and her friend Sara attempt to put the pieces together. When the school’s staff start to show their true colors, Suzie must investigate the history of the academy before whoever is murdering the dancers makes her the next target. In the end, they all get more Suspiria than they bargained for.
Review of Suspiria (1977)
Suspiria is directed by Dario Argento and stars Jessica Harper as Suzie. The movie, now considered a horror classic, uses unconventional lighting and color, which gives the movie a unique feeling and adds to the suspenseful atmosphere. The dialogue is kind of goofy at times, but to me, that is part of the charm. My problem with Suspiria is that with a run time of only an hour and 40 minutes, it somehow feels like a 2 hour + movie. The scenes drag on, probably to linger on the beautifully designed shots, and the plot is minimal compared to the 2018 remake, which expands on and adds ideas to the original. However, I say all of that just for the sake of being critical. I actually really enjoy this movie.
Score
8/10
Shutter Island Review
Jan 24, 2024
What is this Horror Movie Talk+? This is a Patron pick, and we were more than happy to cover this Martin Scorsese thriller.
Synopsis
Shutter Island is directed by Martin Scorsese and stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels, a rough-and-tumble U.S. marshal who doesn’t play by the rules. His partner, Chuck, played by Mark Ruffalo, also doesn’t play by the rules, but he is a little less rough and tumble about it. The two of them are assigned to investigate a missing person at a prison for the criminally insane located on a remote island. As the Duo look further into the mystery, they reveal more questions than answers, and it seems like no one is telling the truth.
Review of Shutter Island
A lot happens in Shutter Island, and every scene feels like it is packed with symbolism and clues. Although I am not usually a fan of movies over two hours long, Shutter Island kept me engaged the whole way through, other than a few dream sequences, which I felt went on a little too long. The characters have deep and disturbing histories and it is fun to watch the whole mystery come unraveled. For a smart person who pays attention, the twist may seem obvious the whole way through, but that was not my experience at all. I was so confused the whole movie, and every attempt at filling me into what was really going on went right over my head until the pieces finally clicked together in the end and I felt like a big idiot for not seeing it sooner. It’s enjoyable, its weird, it’s dark, it’s thought-provoking, and the performances are great.
Score
9/10
Godzilla Minus One Review
Jan 17, 2024
Listen to us talk about possibly the greatest monster franchise ever, and how it just keeps getting better.
Synopsis
Directed by Takashi Yamazaki, Godzilla Minus One follows the story of Koichi (played by Kamiki Ryunosuke), a kamikaze pilot at the end of WWII who didn’t wanna go full kamikaze so he says that his plane is faulty and lands on Odo Island for repairs. Once there, a baby Godzilla arrives and decimates everyone, except for Koichi and Tachibana, the head repairman. Koichi eventually makes it back to his home in Tokyo to find that his parents are dead and Tokyo has been almost flattened by the war. Koichi encounters a girl named Noriko (played by Minami Hamabe) and she latches onto him for support for her and the baby she is carrying, and they become a happy family. A couple years later, Godzilla comes back, bigger and better than ever. Will Koichi defeat the monster? You’ll have to wait and see!
Reviewof Godzilla Minus One
This movie has it all. It had me laughing, crying, shocked, upset, and enthralled. To bounce from hard hitting emotional scenes to incredibly jarring and crazy action scenes and have it effortlessly flow is extremely difficult, yet director Yamazaki did it seamlessly. It was a wonderful movie that depicts Japan’s ruin and rebuilding after WWII, and how the war never left anyone’s minds even for a second. Oh, and Godzilla was absolutely killer. I have never seen another Godzilla movie in full before, but I can tell that they went back to the basics and kept what worked from the original and newer films. From the score, to the visual effects, to the character building, it was absolutely flawless. The Japanese invented Godzilla, it’s only right that they are the best at making films about it.
Score
10/10
Night Swim Review
Jan 10, 2024
Synopsis
When Kurt Russell’s son is forced into retirement from the MLB, he and his family move to a new house with a pool. The pool ends up being a death trap for his family and the neighborhood. But not in the normal way, this pool is extra scary because… that’s right there’s no gate! But actually it gets worse, the pool is also haunted or something.
Review of Night Swim
Night Swim is produced by Jason Blumhouse, and like most of his horror movies, this one stays in the shallow end of the pool. The main features of Night Swim are recycled tropes from much better horror movies. You’ll recognise borderline theft of the IT sewer scene, and the father descending into madness ala The Shining and Amityville Horror.
It is an interesting concept to set a horror movie around a haunted pool. It taps into some latent fears about pools and deep water in general, but this movie definitely doesn’t crack the code and come up with a convincing premise. The ideas all seem half baked and made up as they went along. Is it a ghost? Are there many ghosts haunting the pool? Is the water an entity in itself? Is it a monkey’s paw? Sure yeah, whatever.
So really the main thing that the film suffers from is a lack of commitment. There are many interesting ways you could go with it. Personally, I would have made the pool be haunted by the ghost of Marco Polo, and gone full horror comedy.
The dialogue is also pretty on the nose at times, and feels like a paint by numbers script.
There aren’t really any standout performances, but Kerry Condon as the mother is probably the most compelling and believable out of the cast.
It’s not a terrible movie, but is very predictable and as MAx and Sydney would call it, “mid”.
Score
5/10
When Evil Lurks Review
Jan 03, 2024
It’s a new year and a new set of hosts! Listen up as Bryce announces the new permanent cohost(s?) of Horror Movie Talk, then we get right into reviewing When Evil Lurks.
Synopsis
When Evil Lurks is directed by Demian Rugna who also directed a film you may recall Terrified or Atterados. In this film, two brothers living on a farm find a man infected with a demonic disease. In order to save the town and themselves they do what they can to get rid of the man, but things quickly get out of hand. Our main character Pedro played by Ezequiel Rodrígue is rough, stern and a natural-born leader to his brother Jimi played by Demián Salomón who kind of just does whatever his brother says. The film gives a nuanced take on possession and while I think Terrified was scarier, this has a better story.
Review of When Evil Lurks
When Evil Lurks is heavy and doesn’t pull any punches. The violence is brutal and shocking and the makeup on the possessed people makes them look truly disgusting. The characters seem like real people and often dont make the greatest decisions, but are just doing the best they know how to do. The movie feels fresh and puts its own spin on demonic possession, but to say that this movie should be lumped into the same category as a movie like the exorcist believer is laughable. Though it uses the words demonic possession, it really ends up being something very unique. It feels like we as the viewers get to peer into the minds and culture of a deeply superstitious town in argentina which is an impressive thing to do. One of the best parts about this movie to me is that it introduces so much lore that people from this town all seem to just kind of know and understand as the truth, yet I never felt like I was struggling to catch up or understand where they were coming from. It is unsettling, and every scene feels like something new.
Score
9/10
Saw X Review with Kyle Nolan
Dec 27, 2023
Merry Christmas and a Happy Saw Year!
Synopsis
Let me go into a little synopsis of saw x for you. In saw x we see the return of john kramer and he is searching for a cure to his terminal brain cancer. As he goes through the grieving process of his own mortality, he runs into a friend that may hold the key to a cure. An experimental surgery that is groundbreaking and exactly what john needs. We get to follow John through his Journey to health but he finds out it’s not all what it appears, with hope fading John is ready to play a game with All new Traps but the same gore that we have come to expect out of the Franchise.
Review
Overall I did enjoy this movie, it had me squirming in my seat and kept me engaged for most of the film. Do I think this is a groundbreaking masterpiece? no , in my opinion it is the best saw movie since the first one. It’s what you would expect from a saw movie, traps and blood. I’m happy that we get to follow john and see another side of him and get more character development. There is definitely parts of the movie that don’t make sense for me but you pretty much know what you are going in for.
Christmas Bloody Christmas Review with Carl Swan
Dec 20, 2023
Will robo-santa win you over? Only if you believe.
Synopsis
CBC pits off-brand lead character Tori (Riley Dandy) against a malfunctioning, homicidal robot-Santa manufactured by Uncle Sam. Tori runs a shop next door to a toy store with one of the killer Kriss Kringles and … mayhem ensues.
Review of Christmas Bloody Christmas
Review: This flick takes the concept of intelligent tech (a concept popularized by 80s slashics like Maximum Overdrive, Deadly Friend, Chopping Mall, RoboCop, and Terminator) and Frankensteins it onto another favorite 80s concept: the killer Santa. Of course, the gold standard for killer Santas was set by Charles Sellier’s ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ in 1984, but that doesn’t stop modern directors from trying to put their own special spin on the ax-wielding punisher of naughty boys and girls. Last year alone, we got three new entries in the category: Violent Night, The Mean One, and Joe Begos’s Xmas Bloody Xmas. I can easily say that Begos’s option is my favorite. Not because it’s a perfect film. The top half is talk-heavy. The lead character is somewhat annoying. And with Begos aiming for a Rob Zombie aesthetic – lots of neon light and oversaturated primary colors – much of the action is muddy and hard to discern, which is a bummer since some of the gore looks really good. Heads get stomped and split down the middle; eyes get poked with the ass-end of Santa’s ax, multiple cops gets shotgunned in the facial. This grindhouse gruesomeness isn’t helped by the cinematography, but I still appreciate that Begos shot the movie in 16mm and included plenty of gore for his core audience. There’s also lots of references to iconic horror properties; and, I like the cast. Riley Dandy delivers an effective final girl with Tori – the smart-mouthed and strong-minded record store owner caught in the middle of robo-SantApocalypse with a bunch of dimwitted men who refuse to listen to her advice. The exception is Robbie (played by Sam Delich), her equally saucy and opinionated employee whose Xmas wish (tho unstated) is to get into Tori’s pants. He gets his wish, and lasts longer than any of the other dudes because he actually listens to Tor. And that’s largely what this flick is about. But also, it’s a mindless blood-and-guts movie about a killer Santa that slices and dices without rhyme or reason. If taken with a big heaping boulder of salt, it can be plenty of fun.
Score
6/10
The Pope’s Exorcist Review with Sydney Lee
Dec 13, 2023
This fun exorcism romp is more fun than riding a Vespa across Europe. Listen to Bryce and Sydney break it down.
Synopsis
The Pope’s Exorcist is a 2023 film that follows Father Gabriele Amorth, the real life Chief Exorcist of the Vatican from 1986-2016, as he goes around to possibly possessed adults and children and cures them of their affliction, through unconventional and sometimes frowned upon means. The movie follows Amorth, played by the award winning actor Russell Crowe, as he tries to get rid of a very powerful demon that has attached itself to a little American boy named Henry, who has just moved into an inherited Spanish castle with his mother and sister. This movie is based on true events and documents from the Vatican, as well as being based on two books Father Amorth wrote before his death in 2016. There are some true elements to the story but a lot of it has been fictionalized to make this slightly scary, sometimes funny exorcism movie.
Review of The Pope’s Exorcist
In reviewing this movie, we have to take into account how many movies try to be The Exorcist, and ultimately fall flat because no one could ever top the 1973 horror classic. This movie definitely takes cues from its predecessor, with the possessed boy shouting obscenities at his mother and the priests, body contortion, some suspenseful and mysterious scenes, and an origin story for the demon that honestly was refreshing to all the other long played out demon stories.
This movie got better the longer it ran, but it is in no way a slow paced movie. Every minute has you wanting to keep watching. It starts off a bit basic for long time horror movie lovers like me, but it got more interesting as it progressed. And with a 100 minute run time, it is the perfect length for a movie night.
The script is very basic and mimics many other exorcism movies, and at times the characters would probably be better off not speaking than saying their bare bones lines to get the plot moving. But whoever wrote this movie was obviously highlighting Russell Crowe. They gave him the best lines, the most backstory, in a way he was the most, if not only, interesting character in the entire film. He solves everyone’s problems, he makes the characters and the audience laugh, we can sympathize with him while also being very interested in what his next move should be. As a viewer, it seems as though he had the time of his life filming this movie, and that is what makes it watchable in my opinion. There were good gorey scenes, some of the lines from the possessed boy were so outrageous that it made me step back and say okay maybe this movie has more going for it than I had originally thought. Ultimately, it is very entertaining, but it would have been nothing without Russell Crowe.
Score
8/10
The Exorcist: Believer Review with Max and Sydney
Dec 06, 2023
Do you believe that this sequel is good? It’s going to take some strong faith on your part.
Synopsis
The Exorcist: Believer is a direct sequel to the original 1973 The Exorcist. In this film, we get not one, but two, that’s right two possessions for the price of one. When two teenage girls go out into the woods to perform a séance, they disappear and reappear days later acting… strange. Their parents struggle to find out why the reason th… It’s possession, they are possessed. The father of one of the girls played by Leslie Odom Jr. must recruit an Oceans 11 type ragtag group of exorcists and Chris MacNeil reprised by Ellen Burstyn, who I can only assume had an important boat she wanted to buy.
Review of Exorcist: Believer
NBCUniversal shelled out 400 million on the rights to The Exorcist IP and entrusted David Gordon Green to work his soft reboot magic that he showed with the Halloween franchise. They’ve committed to producing two more of these exorcist films, and after watching this one… I’m not a believer.
Much like most of the previous sequel and prequels in the franchise, this film fails to recapture the humanity, darkness, and complexity of the original. You could point to the fact that they keep giving these movies to mediocre or hack directors, but even John Boorman fucked up The Exorcist 2, and he directed Deliverance.
Also, since The Exorcist was released, it seems like there is rarely a year that goes by that there isn’t an exorcism themed horror movie in theaters. It’s a tired horror trope at this point.
As a result, The Exorcist: Believer comes off as another generic possession movie going through the motions while skipping all the “boring” parts like relationships, character development, or mystery.
A lot of eyes have rolled over some of the messaging in this movie about being woke. Ellen Burstyn’s line about not being part of the damn patriarchy and being excluded from the original exorcism comes off as heavy handed and completely detached from the story of the original film. I think Chris MacNeil’s character is the greatest casualty of this film.
However, I think the root problem is that in trying to make Exorcism more inclusive and exploring the universality of evil, it comes off as wishy washy and noncommittal.
Score
3/10
https://youtu.be/RAR4_7LCDIg
Whoooores Only Vol. 8 – Voice Mail Episode with David Day
Dec 01, 2023
Hey remember David Day? He came back to listen to and respond to your voicemails with Bryce.
The Exorcist II: The Heretic Review with Sydney Lee
Nov 29, 2023
Who possessed these filmmakers to make one of the worst sequels of all time? The Exorcist 2 is a befuddling mess that bears no resemblance to the original.
Synopsis
In this sequel to the Exorcist, Father Lamont, played by Richard Burton, is assigned to investigate the last exorcism of Father Merrin to clear his name of any doubt of faith. Father Lamont finds Regan spending her time in therapy in a psychiatric institute that appears to be the backrooms of Westworld. Her doctor, Gene Tuskin, played by Louise Fletcher is testing out a new device that synchronizes hypnotic states… or something. In the course of her experiments and Father Lamont’s investigation, we find out that Regan isn’t Exorcized, but just mostly exorcized.
In the end, we get more pazuzu than we bargained for…
Review of The Exorcist II: The Heretic
The Exorcist still stands as one of the best movies of all time, and still is my favorite horror movie. So I have always been intrigued by The Exorcist 2, and the fact that it’s so bad, that almost no one ever talks about it. Exorcist 2 is widely regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, and probably the worst sequel ever made.
How does this happen?
If you look at the cast, there are some real heavy hitters.
It’s directed by Sir John Boorman, the director of Deliverance.
In short, a bunch of people that should have known better than to absolutely abandon everything that made the original good.
Instead of grounding the story in reality and the characters’ humanity to further analyze the nature of good, evil, and faith; we are treated to some kind of scifi supernatural fever dream. The film feels like it was written on the fly, and that’s not far from the truth. After it’s disastrous opening, it was pulled twice from theaters to be recut, and even after all that, this film is utterly befuddling.
There are some scenes, especially involving the hypnotism device, that are so hilariously inept that it feels like they were written as jokes.
If you dig deep enough, you can find some interesting ideas about good attracting evil, and the dangers of getting too close to evil, but they are completely overwhelmed by the bizarre choices in the story.
It is a very bad movie, but the case can be made that it’s so bad that it’s good. This is definitely an oddity, and could be a good time with friends if you want something to riff on while watching.
Score
3/10
Thanksgiving Review with Kyle Nolan
Nov 22, 2023
Why make the feature length version of a beloved fake trailer when you can make a watered down Blumhouse-style remake?
Synopsis
Plymouth, Mass the indigenous home of the pilgrims is beset by a mysterious Thanksgiving-inspired killer. Wearing the mask of Plymouth’s founder and dressed as a pilgrim, the killer seems to be exacting revenge on those involved in a deadly Black Friday riot a year earlier. Between the holiday themed kills a cast of teens led by JEssica (Nell Verlaque), as well as the sexiest sheriff alive played by patrick dempsey try to unmask the killer and save the town.
Review of Thanksgiving
This film is based off of a fake trailer that Eli Roth created for Grindhouse to play in between the double feature Planet Terror (2007) and Death Proof (2007). The trailer was an homage to 80s hard R slashers such as Pieces and My Bloody Valentine.
The film, instead of being a gritty and stylish homage, Thanksgiving feels like a lazy Blumhouse remake of a much more iconic movie.
There are some great kills, half of which are shown in the trailer, but they are wrapped with a bland sanitized script full of too many uninteresting characters.
Eli Roth really seems to be phoning it in on the directing. The film comes off as lazy, since there is very little style and the editing is constantly undercutting the impact of some scenes by dwelling a second too long, or not giving you crucial information.
Overall it comes off as an unseasoned and undercooked turkey of a movie.
Score
4/10
It’s a Wonderful Knife Review With Carl Swan
Nov 15, 2023
In this follow up to Freaky, writer Michael White takes on the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life in this disappointing horror sendup.
Synopsis
In the sleepy town of Angel Falls, Winnie Caruthers kills a rampaging masked killer and saves the town from further massacre. After a year, she has never fully recovered from the trauma of the killer killing best friend, and everyone around her inexplicably is a huge dick to her about it. In a moment of despair she wishes that she never existed, and a magical aurora borealis grants her wish and she gets inserted into an alternate reality where she never killed the masked murderer, and he has continued his rampage.
Review of It’s a Wonderful Knife
Coming off of the success of Freaky, a horror sendup of the Freaky Friday premise writer Michael White attempts for a repeat by creating this horror parody of It’s a Wonderful Life. The problem is on the surface the premise doesn’t make any sense. “Oh how I wish I’d never existed so I didn’t have to kill that serial killer” just doesn’t come off as a logical desire.
However the most egregious sin of the movie is it’s entirely inconsistent tone. Is this supposed to be an over the top satire? Is it supposed to be a heartwarming morality play with an edge? Is it supposed to be a visceral gory horror film with sardonic humor? It ends up being nothing other than a tonally confusing mess. It feels like the film went through 5 rewrites while shooting, one of which being done by an 8 year old.
One example of this inconsistency is exemplified in the character of Winnie’s father played by Joel McHale. I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be a sympathetic character, an inconsiderate asshole, or a psychopath. Some of this is due to the plot taking place between two different realities, but the problem is really that they never truly establish his character in the first place.
The film makes a lot of bizarre choices not only in the story, but in the production. The first couple of deaths used some of the least convincing digital blood that I have ever seen in a theatrical release.
By the end of the movie it goes completely off the rails and adds inexplicable supernatural powers to one of the villains.
Score
3/10
Insidious Review with Max Allen
Nov 08, 2023
Insidious is the scary origin story of Darth Maul. Listen as Bryce and Max dissect this modern classic.
Synopsis
Insidious is a movie about the lambert family, Josh played by Patrick Wilson and his wife Renae played by Rose Byrne who i love, have just moved into a new home when their son Dalton played by some little boy slips into a mysterious coma. Unable to wake the boy the Lamberts feel defeated, and just when they think things cant get worse they start to experience INSIDIOUS activity in the house. After attempting to rid themselves of the apparitions the old fashioned way – moving – they realize that they are in way over their heads and seek help from a psychic medium. Wacky hijinks ensue. Eventually, they are able to learn more about the INSIDIOUS forces preying on their son, but are they focusing too much on the wrong thing? The movie is directed by James Wan, who you might recall directed little-known movies like Saw and the Conjuring and Aquaman. The writer Leigh Whannel who also plays a goofy ghost hunter is also the same guy who plays Adam in Saw.
Review of insidious
Now onto my review of Insidious. Insidious is a chaotic movie that throws a lot at the wall hoping something will stick. Luckily for James Wan, some of it does and we are left with a movie that is imperfect, but enjoyable none the less. The movie attempts to scare the viewer in many different ways but mostly relies on being creepy and jump scaring you when you least expect it. It even has one of the most notable jump scares in horror movie history which Im sure we will cover in the spoilers section. While Im not usually a fan of super quiet scenes that end with a really loud noise meant to startle you, insidious does do this well a couple of times. The acting is sometimes a little over the top for me, but how could I be mad when I get to stare at Patrick and Roses beautiful faces for 1 hour and 43 minutes. In the end we are left with a classic for the 2010s era of horror and a personal favorite of mine because it reminds me of being a teenager.
Score
7/10
Five Nights at Freddy’s Review With Max Allen
Nov 01, 2023
Some would say it’s too early to remake, Willy’s Wonderland. But whenever I say that, 10 year-olds yell at me unintelligibly.
Synopsis
Many remakes end up outshining the original, like John Carpenter’s The Thing and Cronenberg’s The Fly. But it’s inevitable to still ask, do we really need a remake of Willy’s Wonderland? It’s only been two years since Willy’s Wonderland broke new ground with the concept of a haunted Chuck E Cheese whose animatronics attack a night time security guard. Well Here we are with Five Night’s At Freddy’s, Which tells the tale of a haunted Chuck E. Cheese who’s animatronics attack a night time security guard. Except this time, there is dialogue. Will this addition of character development and extra plot propel this remake into the lofty heights of The Thing and The Fly? Only time will tell.
Review of Five Nights at Freddy’s
In evaluating Five Nights at Freddy’s and determining what type of movie this is going to be, there is really only one piece of information that you need to know. It’s starring Josh Hutcherson. So you can expect to get a rather harmless horror movie that has a subtle moodiness. You can go in and rest assured that nothing truly awful is going to befall the guy that played Peeta in the Hunger Games movie. Much like when I saw that Brenden Frasier was starring in the 90s The Mummy, I knew that it was going to be a goofy harmless adventure movie.
This is a very confusing movie, and it took until the end before I had any semblance of understanding what was going on. Why were the animatronics haunted by murderous children, and why is sleeping on the job not a fireable offense for a nighttime security guard? These and other questions are half answered by a culminating reveal that will make you go, “Wait what? Ok whatever…”
I really don’t know what people expected from an adaptation of a spooky video game, and I have little to no knowledge of the source material, but this is a movie. It feels like a movie, and not just a factory of jump scares, which is what I would expect. But in the end, it’s not that interesting of a movie.
Most of the plot seems very tacked on and arbitrary. Like a wacky mad libs of character development. “Name a traumatic life experience that haunts a protagonist: Brother kidnapped when he was younger.” “Name a precocious attribute of the young sister: colors creepy and precinct drawings”. Nothing particularly feels real or connected throughout the plot, and it resulted in me being pretty disconnected from the characters or having any real interest in the resolution of the story. It mostly felt like waiting until a reveal, and that’s pretty much exactly what happened.
Score
4/10
Hiatus Update
Oct 11, 2023
Just a short “episode” to give some updates to my thinking and confirm that I am planning on coming back.
The ‘Burbs Review
Oct 04, 2023
The Burbs is a great movie
Synopsis
Cool guy has chill day
Review
Dope AF
Score
9/10
The End of Horror Movie Talk (?)
Sep 30, 2023
David is stepping away from Horror Movie Talk, and we are going on an indefinite hiatus. Listen to our announcement special episode for more information.
The Terminator Review
Sep 27, 2023
James Cameron’s sci-fi time travel masterpiece is also an iconic monster movie for horror fans. Listen to us discuss the OG Terminator.
Synopsis
The Terminator is about a machine that terminates. But it’s not bugs like you’d think, it’s people. But not people now in the future from when the Terminator is from, but from the present in the past. It kills present day people from the past, by traveling from the future present.
Also sent from the now future is Kyle Reece, who needs to save his bosses mom from the Terminator and also generally just be a bummer.
Review of The Terminator
The Terminator as a film is much like it’s titular monster. Slick, focused, and effective. The tone is bleak, and unlike other time travel movies, is stripped of all humor inherent the premise. The script is tight and communicates that the future is a nightmare, and needs to be stopped at all cost.
Arnold Schwartzenegger gets the role that further pushes him into stardom with his iconic lines like “I’ll be back”,and “Hey, I’m Terminating here!”
James Cameron, in his second feature film, second only to Pirahna 2, creates a fully realized sci-fi masterpiece. The special effects of the Stan Winston Studio and the music of the Brad Fiedel augment what is really just a low budget slasher movie.
The Terminator operated off of a budget of only 6.5 mil. Compare that to The Ice Pirates that came out the same year, that had a budget of 9 million, which was also considered low.
Score
10/10
Asteroid City Review
Sep 20, 2023
Wes Anderson has made a new film, just like the old films, and you will probably chuckle at it and be delighted like the smug little shit that you are.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
We follow the narrative of a writer who is writing a play in real time as though the play is happening in real life. If that sounds confusing, it is.
The characters in the play find themselves in a remote desert location called Asteroid city for a young scientists competition and stargazing event.
All of the characters are tragically human and simultaneously completely devoid of expressive human emotion.
An alien shows up and blows everyone’s mind, but not so much that it changes the trajectory of anyone but a single boy’s life or mind.
Life is weird and complicated.
Review
I can honestly say that Asteroid City is exactly as worthwhile, fun, and interesting as any of Wes Anderson’s catalog of films.
Sometimes it’s nice to feel the wind in your hair, and that’s exactly what I get when I start any Wes Anderson movie except for The Darjeeling Limited, which I hate without reason.
Asteroid City is a bombshell full of A-List actors, incredibly lit scenes, and emotionless emotion.
It has fun dialog and lots of interesting eye candy to keep you entertained.
In-fact, Asteroid City understands the medium of film so well that it’s almost perfect in it’s execution. That is to say, a film is meant to be interesting to look at, with dialog and concepts to stir the mind, and with characters who evoke impressive emotion within the watcher.
I will say that some of the dialog is delivered so quickly, and with so little difference in inflection that I often found myself not knowing what had just been said.
Also, it’s hard to care too much about some of the main characters for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, it’s divulged that the story of Asteroid City is a play that is being written by another main character. This level of abstraction seemed overly complicated and unnecessary to the story. The same effect could be achieved with some inner monologue, in my opinion.
Second is the story is spread among so many characters that few receive enough screen time individually to make me care too much about any of them.
These are minor sins in an otherwise fun and funny exploration of the human condition by the world’s most symmetrical film director.
Score
9/10
Final Destination Review with Fart Simpson
Sep 13, 2023
Which Final Destination you ask? Don’t worry about it. Lets just say that it’s mostly about the first one.
Synopsis
Alex (don’t call him a psychic) Browning along with 40 other high school students board a plane to Paris for a school trip. While still boarding, Alex has a vision of the plane exploding and killing everyone on board. He causes a scene when he tries to warn others and as a result Alex, five other students, and one of their teachers are forced to leave the plane.
While arguing in the terminal, they all witness the plane explode upon taking flight.
They are all stunned that they cheated death, yet soon find out that death will not be cheated, because as the film posits… death a muhfucker.
Review
Final Destination, and the franchise that followed cracked the code of what horror fans really want: amusing deaths. We don’t really care if it’s a knife wielding psychopath, an ancient demon, or a possessed doll. As long as there are deaths that we can chuckle about and talk about afterwards, we’re game.
Final Destination removes all the clutter, and just focuses on delivering elaborate and ridiculous deaths. Sure it throws in some explanation and rules for why it is happening, but that is all window dressing.
The result is a campy fun horror movie that is a fun watch.
Score
7/10
Talk To Me Review with Jordyn Wilson
Sep 06, 2023
In A24’s newest horror movie, we get the expected mix of horror, dread, and emotion that you expect with the brand.
Synopsis
Talk to Me is about a young group of friends who get wrapped into the latest social media trend: demonic possession! An acquaintance came into possession of a creepy ceramic hand, and if they shake hands with it and say the magic words, they can see the dead, and even experience being possessed for a minute and a half. As you would expect, it’s a great time. That is until the Mia, played by Sophia Wilde, gets in contact with her dead mom, and can’t seem to shake of the visions of the dead, even when not using the hand.
In the end we learn two things:
Demons lie
Australians need more parental supervision
Review of Talk To Me
This is a really great movie. It is a rehashing of familiar demon possession tropes, but it has it’s own unique vibe.
What hits hardest is the intense scenes of violence. I was squirming in my seat in a lot of scenes, and the movie holds on to those moments for a little longer than most. It’s like a more sadistic Evil Dead movie.
There is a juxtaposition of empathy and apathy throughout the movie that is really interesting. We have fleshed out characters that love and care for each other, however the teen group dynamic around these Seances are full of apathy in search of novelty. It’s the dynamic you see in internet videos that show people popping out cameras instead of helping someone in distress.
I would have liked a little more fleshing out of the father daughter relationship between Mia and her dad. This would have made their scenes more impactful and tragic. There was a lot unsaid, which isn’t a bad thing, but I think there should have been at least another scene or two showing their dynamic to explain why Mia wants to avoid him.
There are strong undertones of drug culture. The destructive yet addicting effects of the hand have parallels to casual hard drug use.
The ending is the perfect conclusion for the tone of the movie. It sticks with you as being dreadful, but still gives a strong resolution.
Score
9/10
Willy’s Wonderland Review
Aug 30, 2023
Willy’s Wonderland can be found on Hulu right now, but who knows once this comes out.
Synopsis
Willy’s Wonderland follows a nameless cool guy in sunglasses played by Nic Cage as he stumbles into an intricate and deadly trap involving a defunct family restaurant. When he needs to pay for repairs to his bitchin Camero, he is offered an overnight janitor job at Willy’s Wonderland, an off-brand Chuck-e-cheese inhabited only by creepy animatronic puppets. In no time, these creepy animatronics attack Nic Cage, and he has to fight them off between soda breaks.
Review
Going into this movie, the consensus that I heard is that it is pretty much exactly what you expect. Dumb, with Nic Cage fighting animatronics. That is what it is.
The one thing that might be surprising is that Cage has zero dialogue. All of his acting is done through stoic hardened gazes and impromptu pinball celebration dances. Even without dialogue, Cage is really the only enjoyable part of this movie. Everything else feels like low effort filler.
The 1 hour 20 minute runtime feels like 4 hours at times.
It is very very very very repetitive. Once Cage is in the restaurant, it alternates between one one one attacks and soda breaks. The only change up comes when some teens appear to be fodder for the animatronics, and the backstory of the place is explained through the occasional expositional dialogue.
The most disappointing aspect of the movie is that the fight scenes seem so low effort, and they all seem to be nearly identical.
It’s not a great movie, but it is an interesting oddity. I just wish that the filmmakers went further than just the novelty of the premise.
Score
3/10
Shutter (2004) Review with Dustin Goebel
Aug 23, 2023
Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out…
Synopsis
After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instead of helping her, Tun convinces Jane to run to avoid responsibility. In the days after Tun starts to notice strange artifacts in his photos. They soon realize that this isn’t regular photography, its…G-G-G-Ghost photograph. As the photo ghost continues to haunt them, they try to unravel the mystery behind why she is haunting them.
Review of Shutter (2004)
This is a pretty ok movie. It’s pretty run of the mill formula of “here’s a paranormal phenomena thats talked about on Discovery channel, lets wrap a movie around it.” It loses points for relying way too much on ghost pikaboo and disorientating fakeouts. I think they would have done better trying to scare the audience with jumpscares, and focused on the drama/mystery more.
The repetition of jump scares and creepy photos throughout the second act are only interrupted by confusing non-sequiter appearances of one of Tun’s friends, Tonn, asking desperately for photographs before his untimely death. It all makes sense in the end, but the pacing and editing were off so it feels like the first half of the movie crashed into a second movie halfway through.
The story behind the ghost is the most compelling part of the movie, and unfortunately they leave most of that until the third act.
Overall it was an interesting story with pacing issues, but at an hour and thirty minute runtime, it never really outstayed its welcome.
Score
5/10
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves Review
Aug 16, 2023
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/IiMinixSXII
Synopsis
A charming thief with nothing to lose and everything to gain embarks on an epic quest to find a party of like-minded ne’er-do-wells who will help him obtain a long lost relic.
This plucky adventure takes a turn for the worst when evil red wizards start taking over the Neverwinter.
Will our band of fun and quirky characters pull off the heist of a lifetime, or will they end up part of the army of the dead?
Review
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves takes a game that historically has been considered one of the dorkiest, nerdiest, most basement dwelling neckbeardian IP’s in the free world and attempts to make it appeal to general audiences.
Somehow, they did it! They made Dungeons and Dragons digestible for your jock boyfriends, your football dads, and your Christian mothers Boggle groups.
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun and easygoing romp through an incredible fantasy world that isn’t bogged down with over-ripe lore or too-serious stakes.
It’s comedy chops are great, which really keeps the audience grounded almost as well as the fabulous casting.
If Star Trek can have a resurgence there is absolutely no reason Dungeons and Dragons shouldn’t too. This IP has some of the most detailed and thorough content in the entire world, spanning the tabletop games, multiple book series, and dozens of video and card games.
What we get in this movie is lots of fun, tons of great laughs, some astonishing eye candy, and the most generic of plots and stakes.
Sometimes generic is alright, and this is the exact case that proves that point. No one wants a deadly serious Dungeons and Dragons movie. No one plays a deadly serious game of Dungeons and Dragons.
It’s fine that the story and plot are generic and somewhat foggy. Will it win awards and be lauded throughout time? No, but it won’t go down as a failure and an embarrassment to nerds everywhere.
Score
7/10
Barbie Review
Aug 09, 2023
Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no.
Synopsis
Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic
That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes that are new and disturbing to her.
Barbie soon finds herself on a journey leaving Barbieland behind and going into the real world where she tries to solve the mystery of her psychological and physical changes.
There is also Ken.
Review of Barbie
I partook in the cultural phenomena that was Barbenheimer on opening night, first watching the 3 hour long Oppenheimer biopic alone and then watching Barbie with my wife afterwards.
Oppenheimer was good and told an interesting story that conveyed an impressive amount of information even for a 3 hour long movie.
Barbie entered my head and has not left since I watched it the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the week. I yearned to watch certain scenes again, and consumed interviews with the cast and the director to process the overwhelming spectacle that was Barbie
I’ll stand here, without any irony or shame, and say that I think Barbie might be the best movie of the decade so far, and the best movie of the year, without a question.
Everyone involved was firing on all cylinders. Casting, acting, writing, directing, production design, music, choreography. All were perfect.
I was smiling ear to ear the whole time, except when I was crying. My wife and I were rolling from laughing throughout. It also goes surprisingly deep with existentialism and feminism.
I watched it again last night, and even after hearing criticisms about it being unfunny or that it was propaganda, the second viewing only cemented my opinion.
Score
10/10
Renfield Review with Guest Host Erin Hanson
Aug 02, 2023
Is it a horror movie or an action movie? It doesn’t matter, Nic Cage turns in one of the best performances of his career.
Synopsis
Renfield tells the story of Count Dracula’s titular servant struggling to become self actualized in modern times after discovering his codependency in a 12-step self help group. Dracula, who has been convalescing for an indeterminate amount of time is finally gaining enough power to continue his plans for world domination, and Renfield’s self empowerment is really throwing a wrench into his plans.
To make matters worse, a local wolf themed gang is trying to kill Renfield, and he must combat them using his bug diet fueled superpowers.
Review of Renfield
The headline on this one, is that Dracula is the role that Nic Cage was born to play, and he appropriately chews up the scenery whenever he is on screen. This movie is a lot of fun thematically and visually. Renfield and Dracula’s relationship interpreted through modern codependency and narcissism pop-psychology is just a great funny premise.
Nicholas Hoult plays Renfield by channeling by channeling his former About a Boy costar Hugh Grant and is a great straight man to Dracula’s antics.
The filmmakers don’t go with a straight ahead comedy, but surprisingly fold in the superhero action genre as well. It ends up being a hard-R action comedy ala Deadpool. I can’t say it completely works for me, since the action and superpowered violence feels like an arbitrary add-on, but that’s not to say it’s not good. Some of the funnest parts are the absurdly violent fight sequences that produce more gore than most horror movies.
Looking at the writers and directors, the motley film starts to make more sense. The story is by Robert Kirkman, who’s famous for his comic and TV successes with The Walking Dead and Invincible. It’s written by Ryan Ridley, a writer for Rick and Morty, and directed by Chris McKay, who directed the Lego Batman Movie. All of whom are great at mixing genres to great effect.
Score
9/10
The Village (2004) Review
Jul 26, 2023
The Village was voted on by our patrons who have very good taste, because this M. Night movie still works.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/sTGyhwvdY6k
Synopsis
The Village is the story of a community that sequestered themselves in the woods to avoid the evils and pain caused by the world at large. Set in the late 1800’s the community is full of interesting and varied people.
But not all is well in the village – there is an evil that lurks in the forest, kept at bay by certain colors and a tenuous truce that has been struck with the creatures.
Ivy Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) fall in love and are set to be married when a violence occurs, leaving Lucius close to death. The blind Ivy must face the terrors in the woods and the evils of society in order to save her new love.
Everyone gets more irony than they bargained for.
Review
The Village is a fun thriller with a stellar cast and some interesting concepts. The acting is interesting and well performed, the script is slow and intentional, and it provides lots of fall atmosphere.
The thing that I cherish most about this movie is the devotion to atmosphere. It’s spooky and stark, set in the woods of New England and it just feels like Halloween.
The creature design is effective and the scares are appropriate for young and old alike.
Score
9/10
Audition Review
Jul 19, 2023
Audition is just one of those movies, you know.
Synopsis
The film follows Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) a widower that upon encouragement from his college age (?) son decides to find a new wife. After sharing his intentions to find a suitable mate with a coworker in the movie business, they hatch a scheme to screen a bevy of eligible young women in the guise of a film audition. Pouring over thousands of resume’s, Shigeharu is smitten with one woman in particular. After seeing her audition, he reaches out and they start dating. His coworker has doubts about her, but Shigeharu is undaunted and falls madly in love. Turns out, you should listen to your friends.
Review of Audition
Much is made about Audition as a truly disturbing movie, and I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. Is my heart so cold that it’s no longer stirred by amputations? What has become of me.
This is the case of being on the vanguard and being eclipsed by the films that were inspired by it. In 1999 torture porn horror had not been a term that anyone had heard of, and at the time this must have been shocking and groundbreaking for genre fans. However after Saw, Hostel, and the Human Centipede, Audition seems quaint almost.
The strong suit of the film is the midstream switcheroo of genres. Well into act 2, this is a pretty charming, run-of-the-mill Romcom, but the third act is straight Lynchian horror.
It portends to be a deep and psychological film, but there really isn’t much depth in the end in my opinion. No real strong statements are made other than abuse is bad, and can have lasting effects. I wish they would have delved deeper into Asami’s backstory and her unmasked psyche, but they really wanted to slow roll the plot and then take their time with the gore in the third act.
Don’t get me wrong, the third act is very strong, and works, it just takes so long to get there without fully using the runtime to make the characters compelling.
Overall this is a unique and weird movie, but isn’t going on the top of any of my lists. It deserves attention, but seems a little overhyped for what it is.
Score
Score 6/10
The Hobbit (1977) Review
Jul 12, 2023
We watched the Hobbit and were transported to Middle Earth to find gold, truth, and destiny.
https://youtu.be/WqGzCOL3XU4
Synopsis
A Little person named Bilbo is whisked away from his home by other little people and their enablist wizard friend named Gandalf the dick.
Bilbo is forced to do the bidding of the Dwarves for the entire trip and every single time he asks, “are we there yet?” they threaten to turn the car around, but they never do.
Eventually Bilbo is forced to steal some stuff from drug addicts and then stuff gets real weird.
Everyone gets more gold than they bargained for.
Review
If you want to see one of the quintessential movies from my childhood, this is it. The art direction is strange and alluring, the story is neatly trimmed down to fit the 90 minute format, and it’s one of the best stories ever told.
The songs are fun, and have that folky 70’s feel. The voice actors fit their roles perfectly, and the adventure feels great.
Much of the creature design is very intense and scary for a cartoon that was probably aimed at kids, but I feel like this is one of the bonuses of growing up in the 70’s and 80’s.
Producers didn’t pander, they made cool stuff that adults and kids would want to see because they couldn’t look away.
This was a made to be a television special and was animated by Topcraft, who was the precursor to Studio Ghibli.
Much of the original critical reception of the movie had to do with the strange, Japanese style animation that audiences were not familiar with at the time. More of the reception for the film was glowing, and it even won a Peabody Award. It was nominated for a Hugo but lost to Star Wars.
I love this movie with all my heart, it got me started in fantasy and horror and I wouldn’t be the person I am today had it not been for renting ten thousand times on VHS.
Score
10/10
The Omen (1976) Review
Jul 05, 2023
The demon child cursed our recording session. Listen to take three of this episode where I was sucked of all life.
Synopsis
Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, a wealthy and politically influential man who unbeknownst to his wife, adopts a baby boy to replace his son that was born, but died on the same day. The child, named Damien, when he becomes a toddler begins to be surrounded by strange an untimely deaths. When his father starts investigating the circumstances of Damien’s birth, he finds out his mother is a real bitch, and his father, wel his father is a real jerk.
Review of The Omen (1976)
The Omen is a tentpole horror movie, which makes up the unofficial trilogy of parenting horror with Rosemary’s Baby, and The Exorcist. It preys upon every parent’s fear of “is my toddler…evil incarnate?” This movie answers… maybe!
The real horror in the film isn’t anything that Damien does, it’s what he represents for the future, and the powers that seek to protect him. The focus isn’t so much on gaslighting like in Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen focuses on “outside forces” that set themselves against and for the Thorn family.
“The Omen” in the title refers to the prophecy of the antichrist, and in particular a poem that an ominous priest recites to Mr Thorn.
While there aren’t a lot of “scares”, this is a taut and well paced thriller with plenty of dread and Ominousness. It’s a well constructed and acted movie, with a couple set pieces that really stick in your mind.
I did wish that they did a little more with little Damien to do. He really is a blank slate in the film. He barely had any lines and as far as characterization, he seems indifferent to death, and has shifty eyes. It would have been nice to create more of a dilemma for the ending by showing him as a more normal boy who loved his parents.
I really like this movie, but it doesn’t quite achieve the emotional heights of Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist, so I deduct one point.
Score
9/10
What We Do in the Shadows Review
Jun 28, 2023
We watched What We do in the Shadows and were treated to the best horror comedy since Shaun of the Dead.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/3uBc1Dk0hwI
Synopsis
You might not know it, but the life (or death) of a vampire is a lot less romantic and sometimes much more petty and small than you might think.
Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav are old vampires trying to make it in a new world. Making it the same way you or I are trying to make it, really. Just trying to make ends meet while accomplishing something akin to a nightlife.
While they manage the chore wheel and keeping their familiars in check, they manage to get caught up in the wacky hijinks of other somewhat mundane horrors that roam the night.
Everyone gets more laughs than they bargained for.
It’s fun, tight, and hilarious. It’s shot the way a normal documentary might be, but because the setting for much of the movie is in a vampire’s lair it has a spooky ambiance.
Apart from some funny jumpscares, there is nothing scary about this horror adjacent romp. What We do in the Shadows is just for fun and it’s great at it. So much of this had me rolling around the room, shaking my wife about how this is the best thing I’ve seen since Shaun of the Dead.
Comedy isn’t easy, and comedy horror can feel pretty clunky sometimes, but this is sleek and fun. It smacks deeply of the comedy from a show that I miss deeply, Flight of the Conchords.
What We do in the Shadows pays close attention to making all the characters “real people” which takes away a lot of the sexy emphasis of normal vampires and replaces it with questions like, “How shitty of a roommate would a vampire be?”
Overall, this is an easy watch that is best experienced with friends and family. The R rating is only earned with comically gratuitous blood and occasional curse words. Definitely rent this one if you haven’t already.
Score
8/10
The Blackening Review with Halle Kiefer
Jun 21, 2023
The Blackening is the ideal movie to go see on Juneteenth. This comedy horror movie is worth going to the theater for.
Synopsis
Seven black college friends go away for the weekend to have a kind of reunion and celebrate Juneteenth together. They get trapped in a game room with a game in the center featuring a blackface head that instructs them to answer black culture trivia questions or die. They soon find out that the entire cabin they are staying at is being controlled by a killer with a vendetta. Will their street smarts and knowledge of horror movies help them stay alive? Probably not.
Review of The Blackening
With a tagline like “They can’t all die first”, you know that this is going to be a tongue in cheek horror comedy. The meta humor and fourth wall breaks are frequent throughout the film. In terms of tone, it lands somewhere between Scream, Tucker and Dale, and with touches of Scary Movie.
It follows the slasher trope of assembling a motley crew of characters that are possible fodder for the killer. In this movie those characters include a gay black man, an african immigrant, a reformed gangster, a mixed race woman, and the most broad character being the black nerd that “acts white”.
Most of the first act features utilitarian expositional dialogue to set up all the characters and their relationships. While the characters and plot are simple, they do go slightly beyond most Friday the 13th movies in terms of depth, not that that is very hard.
What is most important in this film, and what stands out is the humor. I laughed multiple times, and had a good time. A lot of the jokes are around stereotypes and black culture, but the best ones are grounded in the specific situation or character.
Score
7/10
The Old Way Review
Jun 14, 2023
We watched The Old Way on Hulu and were given a movie with a shaky start that made me wonder what I was getting into.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/eWakq9qQ6Ik
Synopsis
An old gunslinger, Colton Briggs (Nic Cage), is forced back into the fray when a series of unfortunate events leave him with very little to live for.
His daughter, Brook (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) joins him on his quest and learns how to navigate life as Colton’s kin.
Everyone gets more lead than they bargained for.
Review
Nic Cage is enough to get me to watch most movies. He is strange, interesting, and massively talented. I enjoy most movies where he stars. The Old Way is no exception.
This movie fumbles tremendously in the first 20 minutes, which shook my belief that it could be good or worthwhile to a large degree.
The dialog, acting, and concept in the opening seems to miss the mark by a country mile. It felt ham-handed, simple, and very cringe.
Once the second act starts, things come back around and the concepts and characters show that they are much more than what previously met the eye.
The Old Way wrestles with the concepts of humanity, loss, the monster’s within, our birthright, and revenge. These are themes that I’ve seen Cage embraces in a lot of his movies.
The characters are interesting and have fun dialog and it’s set in an authentic feeling western backdrop.
Colton Brigg’s story of wrestling with his apparent lack of humanity and his life of crime catching back up to him is one that I feel a lot of people can resonate with.
The hope or lack-thereof for the next generation and having to deal with the sins of their forefathers is an age-old one and that’s why it resonates so deeply.
The Old Way is a solid entry into a somewhat lackluster genre of modern westerns. And it’s one that feels more deeply connected to the classic western’s of the 40’s and 50’s than other modern westerns.
It brings back memories of other Nic Cage revenge movies, the most recent being Mandy.
Score
7/10
The Boogeyman (2023) Review with Jordyn Wilson
Jun 07, 2023
Can this Stephen King short story adaptation beat Shawshank Redemption? No probably not, but it was ok. It’s definitely a good pg-13 horror movie that parents can share with their kids.
Synopsis
While Psychiatrist Will Harper (Chris Messina) and his two daughters Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair) are getting over the death of their wife/mother, he is visited by Lester Billings (David Dastmalchian), a disturbed patient that insists on talking about the death of his three children to an unseen presence. Before Will can help him, Lester commits suicide in one of Will’s closets.
Sawyer then begins to be tormented by a presence lurking in the shadows in the closets and crevices of their home. At first Sadie doesn’t believe Sawyer, but eventually experiences things herself.
As Sadie investigates the background of Lester Billings, she finds out that the monster is none other than The Boogeyman. Wacky hijinx ensue.
Review of The Boogeyman (2023)
This is an adaptation of a Stephen King short story of the same name, which amounts to a little more than a campfire story set in a psychiatrist’s office. There really isn’t much to work with, and the movie ends up being kind of a one trick pony.
The director Rob Savage made a name in horror with the found footage films Host and Dashcam, both of which I very much liked. Savage forgoes the gimmickry of found footage and shoots this movie like any other big-budget Conjuring-esque horror movie. It’s a bit like if Carrot Top performed standup without props. He’d do just OK.
Originally this was supposed to be straight to streaming on Hulu, but because of audience reactions, was given a theatrical release.
It’s just alright. You get exactly what you would expect about a movie about the Boogeyman. It’s just a vehicle for jumpscares and dread.
I might be jaded, but this is a cookie cutter family based horror film that has been done hundreds of times before, and done a lot better.
Score
5/10
Jurassic Park Review
May 31, 2023
We watched Jurassic Park and were treated to one of the best movies ever made!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/lc0UehYemQA
Synopsis
As a theme park nears it’s public go-live date, a team or scientists comprised of Grant (Sam Neill), Ellie (Laura Dern), and Malcom (Jeff Goldblum) are assembled to assess concerns that the park might fly in the face of nature and God.
Hammond (Richard Attenborough), the park owner and dream catcher believes in his creation with such veracity that he sends his own grandchildren on the guided tour along with the crew of scientists to tour the park.
Despite knowing full well that a tropical storm is approaching the island Hammond gives the go-ahead to start the tour and sends his first test subjects into the fold of Jurassic Park.
Surprisingly, things do not go well even though they’ve thought of and prepared for all possible contingencies, because, “Life uhhh, finds a way.”
Everyone gets more dino DNA than they bargained for.
Review
Jurassic Park is one of the most important movies ever made. Every part of it is unique and interesting.
The movie is based on a book by Michael Crichton, who I believe stole the idea from another book series called Dinosaur World. We will talk about that in the spoilers section of the podcast.
Directed by Steven Spielberg, and with 6 minutes of computer animated special effects by Industrial Lights and Magic, Jurassic Park rocked the world upon its release.
People had never seen such convincing special effects. The fact that the computer effects were married with nine minutes of animatronic effects of dinosaurs had everyone on their heels. It was hard to tell what was real and what was computer generated.
Apart from the spectacle of the VFX, Jurassic Park presents a smorgasbord of amazing set pieces and tense scenarios that takes you out of your chair and transports you to Isla Nublar, off the coast of Costa Rica.
It doesn’t have one bad guy, it has tons! Some with huge teeth, other can spit toxic goop in your face, and one has an obsession with the “Magic word”. More than anything it plays on man’s return to the forest primeval, a place where we are no longer in control at the top of the food chain.
Jurassic Park asks the question, “Is science inherently good?” and answers it with, “Science is only a tool, it’s up to those who wield it to use good judgment and many times they don’t..”
The John Williams score is as iconic as, well, other Steve Spielberg movies with world class scores like Jaws.
This is a perfect movie.
Score
11/10
True Lies Review
May 24, 2023
The entire cast is firing on all cylinders in this underappreciated James Cameron film. In my opinion, this is where Schwarzenegger reached his prime.
Synopsis
True Lies tries the answer the question: what would happen if James Bond had to go home and explain himself to his wife? Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Harry Tasker, an elite American spy that travels the world preventing the apocalypse by fighting terrorists. He does all this unbeknownst to his wife Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Daughter Dana (Eliza Dushku), who think he is a boring computer salesman.
While on the trail of a terrorist with his partner Gib (Tom Arnold), Harry discovers that his wife may be cheating on him. To prevent a nuclear holocaust and the dissolution of his marriage, Harry starts to mix his worlds. Hilariousness ensues.
Review or True Lies
True Lies is in a genre of it’s own: Action Romantic Comedy. The most impressive part of this movie, which there are many, is the balancing act of those genres and tones throughout.
Tying it all together is a cast of actors that are all operating at peak performance. This to me is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best performance in his career. He’s at peak charisma, and really steps up his acting chops to meet the shifts in tone and subtlety required by the script.
Jamie Lee Curtis similarly walks the line between genres, dancing between drama and comedy as her character tries to shake up her humdrum life. And her seductive scene will forever be seared into the memory of every teenage boy in the 90s.
Tom Arnold and Bill Paxton do a lot of heavy lifting as the comedic relief. Tom Arnold especially surprises everyone by being likable and hilarious throughout. His relationship with Schwarzenegger is believable and natural as long time partners. Bill Paxton chews the scenery as a smarmy car salesman con-man.
All along, the film has some of the best action sequences of the 90s, which is saying a lot.
Score
10/10
Whooores Vol. 7 – Checking the Voicemail
May 22, 2023
We watched Air and were delighted by the total lack of sports in the historical sports drama.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/Euy4Yu6B3nU
Synopsis
There was a time in the 80’s when Nike wasn’t top of the pack. During that time a Nike talent scout named Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon) was looking for a way to help Nike break into the Basketball vertical.
As he is passionate about the game, he finds a young man who shows incredible promise that very few others see.
He fights tooth and nail to make Nike appealing to young Michael Jordan, and with the help of the incredible talent at Nike in 1984, he just may have a chance.
Review
There is nothing inside me that enjoys sports. But there is a small place inside me that really enjoys historical dramas. Movies like The Big Short, and The Social Networkare a lot of fun, and Air presents a similar, if lighter experience.
It’s hard to believe that there was a time when Nike wasn’t top dog in the shoe world. But Air details the moments leading up to probably the most important decision of the largest shoe and sports gear manufacturer on the planet.
Directed by Ben Affleck, who also plays Phil Knight, this is an interesting insight into marketing and how one man can have a hunch so strong that it changes the world.
The best part for me is it’s only tangentially related to sports, barely even showing Michael Jordan. To be honest it makes you wish it showed Jordan. But that movie is mostly concerned with Nike’s breakthrough on Jordan’s coattails.
With this being free on Prime, it’s an easy one to recommend. I was interested and laughing throughout, and I wouldn’t mind paying to see it in theaters either.
Score
7/10
Infinity Pool Review with Jay Medina from Crypt Creeper Horror Show
May 10, 2023
I don’t know what is scarier, the unchecked power of the wealthy, the surprise reach-arounds, or the conspicuous lack of eyebrows.
Synopsis
An american couple James and Em Foster (Alexander Skarsgård and Cleopatra Coleman) take a resort vacation to the tropical island of La Tolqa to rekindle their relationship and to break James out of writers block. While there, they Gabi (Mia Goth) who is a big fan of James’ previous novel, and is excited to show them the island outside of the confines of the luxurious resort. Despite warning that it’s dangerous off-grounds, they spend a day with Gabi and her husband Alban picnicking and drinking on the beach. Tragedy strikes and James finds himself at the mercy of the brutal and surreal Justice system of La Tolqa. Narrowly escaping punishment James discovers that the true horrors of the island lie with the decadent and hedonistic tourists that take advantage of the bizarre world of the island.
Review of Infinity Pool
This is the second Brandon Cronenberg film that we have reviewed on the show. And this film shares a lot of the brutality and dreamlike aspects of his previous film Possessor. Infinity Pool examines the horrors of the uber wealthy escaping justice while flaunting it for their entertainment. It goes from a relatively normal to progressively more surreal and hedonistic, and end with full on existential horror.
It’s a weird mix of the show White Lotus, Eyes Wide Shut, and Total Recall.
That being said, this film is very unique. There are enough twists and turns that it stays engaging throughout the runtime.
The combination of excellent acting and directing really sells the movie. Even though there is a prevalence of dream logic and nightmarish qualities, it stays grounded in the perspective of James. Skarsgard does a great job of emoting the inner world of James and we get to experience his pride, shame, hubris, and debauchery in a way that feels real.
With a hard R rating, we are treated to plenty of the ol sex and ultra violence. It pulls no punches with either, yet they don’t feel exploitative or arbitrary since they both work to serve the story.
We took a look at this comedy masterpiece from the mid 90’s and were reminded of a time when you could kill endangered species and get away with it.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/l13yPhimE3o
Synopsis
When a gorgeous redhead, Mary (Lauren Holly) leaves her suitcase in the airport, Lloyd (Jim Carrey) makes it his mission to return it to her at her destination – Aspen, California. Lloyd manages to talk his roommate and best friend Harry (Jeff Daniels) into joining him on the trip because, let’s face it, “our pet’s heads are falling off!”
Unbeknownst to our duo of dumb dumbs, the briefcase left by Mary Sampsonite was actually a ransom payoff for her husband’s safe return from the ominous arms of Nicholas Andre.
As Harry and Lloyd are tailed across the country, an interesting The Man Who Knew Too Much scenario takes place. Everyone gets more stupid than they bargained for.
Review
Dumb and Dumber is one of the funniest modern day movies ever made, and in my opinion, one of the best comedies of all time. Peter Farrelly & Bobby Farrelly wrote and directed this and while they are accomplished and obviously talented, their real lightning in a bottle was the casting of Jeff and Jim.
The magic within Dumb and Dumber lies in Jeff and Jim, two grown-ass-adult-males acting like actual 6th grade children. Keeping straight faces and horsing around in ways that would make every mother in America roll their eyes so hard that their retinas detach.
Obviously, Jim Carrey is at his absolute peak in this movie, but Jeff Daniels comedy chops are absolutely crushing. And the pair of them together, fully understanding the magic of this concept of two adults so stupid that it hurts is what takes the whole thing into the top echelon of comedy gold.
The pacing and clear storyline of this movie help to bolster it amongst it’s competition, because it’s hard to get the pacing of a comedy movie right.
While the last half hour of this is pretty weak by comparison to the rest of the movie, it’s pretty slim pickings on comedy movies that end strong. This has a better ending than most.
It blows my mind that this is the same Jim Carrey that did one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my entire life – The Number 23.
Score
10/10
Evil Dead Rise Review with Jen Ponton
Apr 26, 2023
The deadites are back, and they are as mean as ever. Evil Dead Rise changes it up from the cabin in the woods format, and it pulled it off successfully. Listen/watch our latest episode with special guest Jen Ponton.
Synopsis
Evil Dead Rise continues the story of deadites just trying their best life, and those meddling humans that try to ruin their fun. In this latest entry in the Evil Dead franchise, two estranged sisters Ellie and Beth (played by Alyssa Sutherland and Lily Sullivan) awkwardly reunite in the midst of personal crises. Before they can work out their issues, an earthquake strikes and Ellie’s children discover a hidden ancient tome and mysterious recordings of a priest reading from it. If you’ve seen any of the previous Evil Dead films, you know where this is going. They inadvertently release flesh-possessing demons and have to fight for survival. It doesn’t go well.
Review of Evil Dead Rise
This is a very strong entry into the franchise that expands the world outside of just a cabin in the woods. Like 2013’s evil dead, this film foregoes the majority of the humor that the original trilogy featured. Not to say that this film is completely humorless, it just goes hard into the body horror and torture porn. This film has some of the wildest and darkest scenes I’ve seen in a long time. It makes you all but certain that no one is safe from the deadites even up till the end.
What I appreciate is that despite the simple nature of the horror, that being trying to escape or kill scary demons, the film does give stakes for the characters and changes up the setting in a unique way. Instead of disposable slasher teens, we are shown a loving and functional family. When one of them is preyed upon by the demons it hurts, and it adds to the disgust and terror of the moment.
Alyssa Sutherland chews up the material and spits it out. It’s unsurprising that most of the trailer featured her. She is a delight to watch, and the vile and manipulative things that the script gives that mother are the most compelling parts of the movie.
Overall, this film really brings it. If you are looking for a supernatural gory horror film, this one pulls no punches
Score
10/10
Check out Jen Ponton
Thanks to Jen Ponton for joining us. Check her out:
We watched Green Room and were shocked at how green this room really was.
Synopsis
Green Room is about a struggling punk rock band who lands a gig at a white supremacist bar. Since no one in the band is a person of color, they decide that this is fine. When they inadvertently stumble into a crime scene, they get trapped in the green room.
Mirror universe Captain Picard and his band of skinheads plot to kill them and stage a crime scene to cover up the crimes.
Review of Green Room
Green Room is worth seeing, but I think it gets a little overhyped as a “hidden gem”. I think the novelty of seeing Patrick Stewart as the bad guy gave this movie some legs, but it’s essentially a run of the mill thriller. There are some moments of gore in the latter half of the film as the band tries to escape, but a lot of people probably would have issue with classifying this as a horror movie. I don’t care about these people
Personally I think this film suffers because the main characters seem like a bunch of insufferable assholes, so I don’t really care what happens to them. Really all the character development we’re given is that they are hardcore punk (whatever that means) and their desert island bands, I guess.
The situation is compelling though and it generally kept me engaged for the duration
Score
6/10
The Happening Review
Apr 12, 2023
Whatsa happening hot stuff? The Happening is happening on this week’s episode. Follow Marky Mark and a whole funky bunch in this M. Night Shyamalan stinker.
Synopsis
The Happening starts out with a mass psychosis event in Central Park NY, where all of a sudden everyone decides to kill themselves. Mark Wahlberg plays Elliot Moore, a pretty dumb high school teacher that with family and friends trys to escape whatever is causing the psychosis.
What could possibly be causing The Happening? Theories abound. Could it be a terrorist attack? Could it be bees? Could it be trees? Could it be a 60s performance art exhibition? No one knows.
Review for The Happening
The Happening has a reputation for being a bad movie. It was really the nail in the coffin for M. Night Shyamalan’s ability to create a quality movie. I’ll say that the consensus is not wrong. This is a pretty bad movie. It’s not painfully bad, but is laughably bad in parts.
This is mostly because of M Night’s clunky writing. It’s very unnatural, and makes every character seem like they came from an alternate universe where infomercials were reality. What makes it more frustrating, is that there are scattered gems of quality dialogue or situations that in a better movie would have been endearing moments. In this film however, it just makes you wonder how someone that is capable of writing convincing human moments would decide to write the rest of the movie like everyone has a head injury.
The second problem with the film is the casting of Mark Wahlberg as the lead. He is just not a good actor, and has no possible hope of saving the dialogue through his performance. In fact almost all of the unintentional humor is created by Mark’s line delivery and stupid facial expressions.
As with any M. Night Shyamalan movie, regardless of quality, there are some interesting ideas and concepts. Most of the creativity here comes from the various deaths throughout. The premise of a mysterious viral mass suicide event is a genuinely interesting premise, and can be truly disturbing at moments. However, the posited explanation is so dumb, you’re left wondering why you even bothered sitting through this shit show.
Score
3/10
The Final Girls Review & Emily Hagins Interview
Apr 05, 2023
This meta comedy horror film might have slipped past you, but if you’ve run through all the others, this one is probably worth a watch.
Synopsis
In this film, Max, the daughter of a struggling horror film actress, is grieving after her mother’s untimely real death three years prior. Her friend’s tone deaf step brother played by Thomas Middleditch insists that Max attend his double feature screening of Camp Bloodbath, the film that made her mother a star.
While attending with her friends, a disaster happens, and they escape through the movie theater screen. In proper movie logic, they somehow by doing so, step into the reality of Camp Bloodbath (an obvious stand in for Friday the 13th).
They soon realize that they are trapped until they can navigate to the end of the film and survive the machete-wielding masked killer.
Review of The Final Girls (2015)
This is another meta horror comedy that seems to be attempting the success of the previous Cabin in the Woods and Tucker and Dale. In comparison, this one is pretty lackluster. However, it does have it’s charm and is an enjoyable watch.
The one difference in style is that The Final Girls uses 80s fantasy logic, and doesn’t bother with realize. This gives them more wiggle room to have fun with the slasher formula.
With Adam Divine and Thomas Middleditch in the cast, I did expect it to be funnier than it was. They only go after the easy jokes around the genre, and don’t play as much as they could with the archetypal characters or slasher absurdities.
It ends up being surprisingly predictable.
Score
6/10
28 Days Later Review
Mar 29, 2023
We managed to find a copy of 28 Days Later (which isn’t streaming anywhere, even Amazon) and were treated to the re-awakening of the zombie movie
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/7suz9ndPBHg
Synopsis
Some evil scientists were playing with fire and testing the effects of rage on Chimpanzees, when a group of radical extremists with Green Peace set the Apes free.
One Ape attacked another and then everyone got angry, but not just angry, rageful.
28 days later and our protagonist, Jim (Cillian Murphy) awakes from his medically induced coma to a deserted and dilapidated London. He wanders the streets before finding some angry higher apes and quickly learns not to tango with this “rage” stuff.
After Jim meets up with Selena (Naomie Harris), Frank (Brendan Gleeson), and Franks daughter they decide to brave the wilds of Great Britain to find a military outpost that’s sending a hopeful message over the airwaves.
Everyone get’s more apes than they bargained for.
Review
28 Days Later is an important movie in the zombie genre. It’s not strictly a zombie movie, rather a re-imagining of a somewhat more likely scenario that could lead to something approximating a zombie movie outcome.
If rabies was weaponized, the outcome might look something like 28 Days Later.
There was never a shortage of B zombie movies since their inception, and there never will be. But there have been lulls in the popularity of the zombies in general, and moments of revival – 28 Days Later is largely responsible for one of the biggest revivals of zombies in the zeitgeist. Arguably, this movie helped kick off some of the biggest zombie movies and games in the last 20 years.
There is no doubt that 28 Days Later is effective. The direction is great, the acting and script are pretty good too.
More than anything, the theorycraft is impressive and logical – which is where the concept of zombies really catches the imagination of audiences.
The movie is dark, depraved, and hopeless, but manages to throw a little bit of family feeling in the somewhat slow second act that helps to redeem the pacing.
Overall, it’s great at what it does, and the soundtrack is phenomenal.
Cocaine Bear is loosely based on a true story of a bear that finds and consumes cocaine air dropped by a cocaine smuggler in 1985. In this movie, instead of dying immediately, it does what everyone imagines in their head when they hear the words “Cocaine Bear”. It goes on an unhinged coked up rampage across a state park.
Along the way, Cocaine Bear’s, or as his friends call him, Pablo Escobear, crosses paths with drug dealers, thugs, rangers, children, and a mom. These people fare about as well as you would expect against Cocaine Bear.
Review of Cocaine Bear
The movie is structured basically as a slasher in that the characters are mostly there as fodder, and they are all trying to escape an unhinged, all powerful killer.
However, even for a slasher, these characters have super thin development. None of them have what I would call an “arc”. Not even Cocaine Bear.
The cast is serviceable with Kari Russel, MArgo MArtindale, Ray Liotta (RIP), and a bunch of newcomers. They just aren’t given much to work with.
Really the most valuable and enjoyable thing that this movie gives you is the title. It’s going to be talked about in knowing tones by the same people that mention Sharknado movies without having actually seen it.
To it’s credit, it doesn’t shy away from the gore, and earns it’s R rating, but doesn’t go crazy.
Overall, it’s ok. There are enjoyable moments, and the concept is novel early on, but it loses it’s edge very quickly and it becomes just a waiting game for the obvious ending. It’s a B movie with a 35 million dollar budget. I didn’t expect much, and it perfectly met my expectations
Score
4/10
Scream 6 Review
Mar 15, 2023
We watched Scream 6 and were impressed with this incredibly fresh new take on the otherwise stale genre of slashers in 2023!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/h74AXqw4Opc
Synopsis
A year after the events ofScream (2022) where the Woodsboro murders decimated the group of plucky, woke high school students, we find ourselves in college, in New York City.
In a super weird turn of fate, our young heroins Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera) and her sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) are being stalked by none other than Ghost Face himself.
As the friend group pulls together to try to figure out who the new killer might be, they also become suspicious of each other.
As it turns out, this killer follows the rules of horror movie tropes, and could easily be one of their closest friends, if these Stab movies are to be believed.
Will the friends figure out who the new killer is? Will Ghost Face say some quippy line? Who will be stabbed, and who will come out on top?
Review
I just asked a bunch of cliff hanger questions at the end of my synopsis. And Scream is known for it’s meta takes and twists. Here’s a meta twist for you – I don’t give a shit who comes out on top AT ALL!!!
I stopped caring about Scream the moment the second movie started in 1997. It’s always a slightly diminished crew of last year’s protagonists looking at each other and figuring out what movie trope they are breaking that will get them killed. If only Ghost Face would just hop off of the screen and do me so I don’t have to sit through another one of these cash grab installments.
Is Scream 6 bad? No, it’s fine. It’s fan service. But everything is fan service now. Fan service has replaced originality in favor of safety.
Do you want safety? IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Yes. As it turns out, you do. Or at least that’s what your wallet says when you pay to go see the new Scream, or Halloween Ends, or The Purge 8: Unlimited Bulimia.
Sometimes you just need some nostalgia in your life, and this is that. It’s not going to blow you away, or make you wish there were more Scream movies. It’s going to pelt you with ‘member berries.
I will say that this version of Ghost Face might be the strongest in my memory, even if my memory for this is pretty bad. He is wiry, and powerful, and frantically hateful. His acts of violence are gruesome and gross.
The reveal at the end of Scream 6 is a prime example of more is better syndrome. Can this be topped? Only if the killer in Scream 7 is the early 90’s version of the monster truck named “Bigfoot”.
As long as you don’t expect much, Scream 6 is a Film.
Score
5/10
Whooores Only – Vol. 6 – Checking Voicemails
Mar 13, 2023
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2nd Annual Talkies – 2022 Year in Review – Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2022
Mar 08, 2023
It’s a magical evening folks. Every year the HMT academy gets together and chooses the best moments and movies of the year. Join us and celebrate another year of horror cinema.
Be careful what you wish for – stranger by the lake episode
Poison Tits – hostel ep
I’m About to Cum – The Sadness Ep
Most Problematic Moment
What a Dumb Bitch – The Mummy
Gypsies -Drag Me To Hell Episode
OOPS – Constantine episode
Don’t use the n-word – Get Out
DAvid’s a little racist – Dog Soldiers Ep
Most Psychologically REvealing Moment
David Hates Horses – Nope Episode
Bryce’s fear of electronics – the ring
Bryce’s brain is too strong – smile ep
The Real Bryce – Bone Tomahawk Ep
TAke it Back – texas chainsaw massacre 2022 episode”
Listening like God – The Possession of Hannah Grace Episode
I can Talk About TikTok – Orphan First Kill ep
Worst Movie We Watched this year
Puppet Master (1978)
13 Ghosts
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Halloween Ends
Studio 666
Orphan: First Kill
Best Movie We Watched this year
Silence of the Lambs
Paranormal Activity
The Fly (1986)
Barbarian
Carrie (1976)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Get Out
Hatching (Pahanhautoja)
Prey
The Menu
Worst New Movie of 2022
Halloween Ends
Studio 666
Orphan: First Kill
Terrifier 2
Scream (2022)
Firestarter (2022)
Crimes of the Future
Best New Movie of 2022
X
Nope
Hatching (Pahanhautoja)
Prey
The Menu
Barbarian
————————————————
Perfect 10s
The Silence of the Lambs
Paranormal Activity
The Fly (1986)
Barbarian
Carrie (1976)
Lowest Scored
Halloween Ends (3.5)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (3.5)
13 Ghosts (2.5)
Puppet Master (1989) (2)
Biggest Discrepancies in Scores
The Babadook (D=3, B=10)
Crimes of the Future (D=9, B=4)
Smile (D=6, B=10)
The Mummy (1999) (D=10, B=6)
Best Co-Host
David Day
Bryce Hanson
Top 5 80’s Horror Movies List!!
Mar 01, 2023
We dig the 80’s and here’s proof. What are your favorite 80’s horror movies?
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
The Descent Review & Coltan Scrivner Interview
Feb 22, 2023
The Descent is more than a decent movie, it’s phenomenal. It doesn’t play it safe by making just a straight ahead monster movie, it delves into many different kinds of phobias along the way.
Synopsis
The Descent starts out similar to my favorite porn, with a team of international women out in the woods. They go caving in an uncharted cave system in the Appalachians. Quickly their expedition goes sideways when a cave in happens and they are stuck in the caves, short on supplies. The film quickly turns terrifying as they find out that the caves are full of goblin monsters hell bent on eating them, which happens to be my least favorite porn.
Review of The Descent
This is a fantastic horror movie that hits a lot of different beats of horror. It deals out claustrophobia, dread, jump scares, interpersonal drama, all while passing the Bechdel test. A rare accomplishment in any horror film.
The unique setting of the film and the deliberate slow burn draws the audience in, in a way that most monster films don’t. By the time we are introduced to the main antagonists of the film, we have already seen the protagonists crushed with the fatigue and uncertainty of whether they will ever find a way out.
Although dark and disorientating, the film has some really great creature design and gory special effects.
It let up even in the end, and is a really unique viewing experience.
We watched the Wes Craven classic, The People Under the Stairs, from 1991 and were delighted to see how close our interpretation of landlords are to the real thing!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/gx4jKIzvVUo
Synopsis
The People Under the Stairs is the story of Fool, AKA Poindexter, AKA Brandon Quintin Adams who’s mom has cancer and can’t pay the rent.
Being saddled with the idea that he is now “the man of the house” at 12 years old, he realizes that he very badly wants not to lose that house.
Unfortunately for Fool, his landlords are literally the whitest, scariest, most sadistic BDSM freaks slash shotgun owners to ever grace God’s green earth. They are so terrifying that they actually keep a hoard of invalid children under their house, and feed their pet dog Cujo parts of the people that they kill.
Fool is brought on a mission to case the house his landlords live in by Ving Rhames, in an attempt to steal enough money to ironically pay the rent.
What ensues is an insane game of cat and mouse that will surely leave Fool with lasting scars, trauma, and an intense hatred of white people.
Review
The People Under the Stairs is something of a unique movie now, but if you take a look at the time that spawned it, it begins to make more sense. It’s in good company with the likes of Nightbreed, Gremlins 2, Army of Darkness, House, and The Gate.
This is a dark comedy and horror movie with a decent amount of disturbing ideas and themes. It’s executed in such a way that dates it tremendously, but leaves you with that waxy film of early 90’s charm coating your mouth.
While the acting is over-the-top, the themes are in-your-face, and the characters are just caricatures of stereotypes, it’s still interesting and fun.
I can’t think of anyone who would hate this movie, but I am sure that there are plenty who love it to death.
The intense themes of minority marginalization, class inequity, sexism, and gentrification are present throughout. These themes are smash you in the face in nature, and are sandwiched in so much hammy acting that it’s a little hard to take it seriously.
Overall, this is a great movie to curl up on the couch and watch on a Friday night.
Score
6/10
Let the Right One In (2008) Review
Feb 08, 2023
If you are making the choice between Let the Right One In and Let Me In, the former is the right one. This taut and moody vampire tale pushes the boundary for what’s possible in the genre.
Synopsis
Let the Right One in is a new twist on the vampire tale, that asks, what if vampires were pedophiles? It’s about Oskar, a 12 year old Swedish boy that is relentlessly bullied while he deals with his parents separation. In the course of planning to be Sweden’s first school shooter, he meets Eli, the new girl in town that hates shoes and loves having the higher ground. Eli is the stereotypical manic pixie dream girl, who has quirky hobbies like puzzle collecting, communicating through Morse, and violently murdering people by sucking their blood.
Review of Let the Right One In (2008)
Let the Right One In was remade in English as “Let Me In”, but if you haven’t the original, do yourself a favor and watch it in the original language. Not only are the performances a little better overall, most importantly, the tone is vastly better than the remake.
The sparse and brutal mise en scene matches the sparse and brutal storyline. The stark empty courtyards and public parks compliment the empty and stark life of lonely latchkey kids.
At the heart of the story is a coming of age romance between two tragic characters that is very compelling. There is an impending sense of dread for all the main characters. You are rooting for them, but in pretty much every possible outcome there will be tragedy.
This film is an excellent entry into the vampire genre that shows that there are still compelling iterations to explore that don’t rely on the Dracula archetype.
Score
10/10
Whoores Volume 5 – Checka Da Voicemails
Feb 07, 2023
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House of 1000 Corpses Review
Feb 01, 2023
We watched House of 1000 Corpses and were impressed by the use of stock footage and new footage made to look like fucked out stock footage.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/OiRQOpC0nhg
Synopsis
House of 1000 Corpses is the story of some 20 somethings on a road trip around the US on a mission to find gas station oddities and fright museums.
They stumble upon Captain Spaulding’s museum of monsters and madmen and end up flies in the web of the firefly family.
The firefly family are a group of twisted, backwater Texans who torture and kill unsuspecting kids on outings in their car.
The kids are treated to the extensive horrors around the firefly family property before they are picked off one by one.
If this sounds like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoff, that’s because it is. Had it been made with the tiniest bit of skill or nuance, it might have been able to get away with being called an homage or a tribute, but alas, ripoff will have to do.
Review
House of 1000 Corpses is quite a sideshow. It’s the first of writer / director Rob Zombie’s feature films, and the start of an obsession for the musician.
It seems like Rob saw films like Texas Chainsaw, Halloween, andSalem’s Lot, as a child and wondered to himself, “What goes on in the parts of these movies that I don’t get to see? Why is Michael the way he is? What other weird things happen in the Cannibal’s house?”
And he had to create the lore that he so desperately desired to see.
To be fair, those are awesome questions. Who wouldn’t want to see what happens in Texas Chainsaw the day after the massacre? As it turns out, the answer is me.
I don’t care about the reality behind the mysteries being shown to me nearly as much as I enjoy being allowed to let my mind wander around those creepy questions.
Once you answer the question of why Michael is the way he is, I hate the outcome.
Apart from this fundamental issue with digging up and rehashing old movies that are arguably the best of their kind ever made, the House of 1000 Corpses is a trainwreck.
It’s Americana turned up to 11 and drenched in neon gas station colors, and it smells like the armpit of the oldest, nastiest man you’ve ever sat next to on the bus. The acting is pitiable as soon as Sheri Moon shows up and awesome when old pro’s like Sid Haig grace the screen.
The story is tenuous and boring, the violence is schlocky, the comedy is raunchy.
It’s not my cup of tea, but for what it is, it’s pretty influential. Some would say that it was one of the most over-the-top entries in the gore-porn genre of the 2000’s. I would disagree with those people, but still.
Anyone sitting down to watch a movie called House of 1000 Corpses will get exactly what they were expecting, that much is certain.
Score
2/10
Skinamarink Review
Jan 25, 2023
Are you ready for our take on the biggest scam horror movie of 2023? We break down this low effort film with a low effort episode of horror movie talk. We hope Sharon, Lois, and Bram would be happy.
Synopsis
IMDB gives the following synopsis for Skinamarink: Two children wake up in the middle of the night to find their father is missing, and all the windows and doors in their home have vanished.
That is only ½ true. There are still plenty of doors and windows, because that is were the camera is looking for 90% of the film.
A more accurate description is that Skinamarink is shots of nothing, with no narrative, and the occasional jump scare to scam you into thinking it’s something.
There are two children, but to say the movie is about them is to say The Shining is about the twins. They are there for the same purpose as everything else in the film. To be vaguely creepy.
https://youtu.be/APQqilSTxz0
Review of Skinamarink
As the runtime drags on, the audience realizes that there is a nefarious presence behind everything, pulling the strings with evil intent that is never fully explained. …the director.
I get what this is. It’s challenging. It is an art film that plays with emotions and expectations in a way that is undeniably uncomfortable and creepy.
However, it does feel like a scam. It blows my mind that this was shown in theaters. That’s the most amazing thing about the experience, is that it defies all logic that it exists as a commercial product, and it defies all logic that people will watch it.
This film makes me angry. I was angry that this is considered a movie. I was angry at how cheep the gimmicks were. I was angry that it was still somehow effective, but mostly I was angry that I watched it.
Score
1/10
M3gan Review
Jan 18, 2023
We went and saw M3gan and were shown what would happen if you allowed a robot to raise your child. Also, there was a crazy rich Asian in it!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/BRb4U99OU80
Synopsis
A hot robotics engineer, Gemma (Allison Williams) strikes paydirt when her sister and brother in-law die and she ends up with her orphan niece, Cady (Violet McGraw).
Now, she can finally test her over-engineered killing machine slash toy on an unsuspecting child-victim that she is the guardian for.
M3gan, is an AI driven toy slash babysitter slash baby SLITTER. She is going to be the toy everyone buys this year, that is if she can convince the archeologists and the lawyer that Jurassic Park, er – M3gan is safe.
Everyone gets more hydraulic death than they bargained for.
Review
M3gan came with a ton of hype, probably because it’s got the high-tier status with Blumhouse, which means their full marketing budget. I can’t say it let me down, but it’s also not blowing my socks off.
This is a better-than-average horror movie with some solid jump scares and a creepy concept that’s similar to that of a Child’s Play movie.
The idea of your child being raised by a robot is scary enough when all you do is plop them down in front of Youtube. When you plop them down with a silicone covered robot that can wink and has opposable digits, it gets even creepier.
Watch M3gan
Buy or Rent on Amazon
Click Here to Watch
M3gan is scary at times, and quite funny as well. Some of the one liners landed perfectly for me, which was a lot of fun.
If you are the kind of person who has a hard time not picking movies apart, M3gan is not for you. This is a popcorn munching, good time with friends kind of movie.
It’s got some great moments, but will be forgotten in a year or two, which is better than being forgotten as quickly as it comes out.
Score
7/10
White Noise (2022) Review
Jan 11, 2023
You know that SNL sketch were it was a trailer for a slasher movie directed by Wes Anderson? Yeah, well this was pretty close.
Synopsis
White Noise tells the story of a blended family led by Jack and Babette as they experience the joy and terror of academia, man-made disasters, and supermarkets. This film is categorized as a comedy/drama/horror, and if it’s one of those things, I guess it’s all of them. The horror element is equally treated with black comedy, and comes out mostly in the narrative of the “airborne toxic event” but also is sprinkled throughout. However, I would forgive anyone saying that this is not really a horror movie. But again, I would ask, what is it then?
Review of White Noise (2022)
The film is written (adapted) and directed by Noah Baumbach, which I associate with Marriage Story and The Meyerowitz Stories, but also cowrote The Life Aquatic and The Fantastic Mr. Fox with Wes Anderson.
Both sensibilities blend here in this adaptation of Don DeLillo’s novel of the same name. The characters are acting like recognizable normal people, but the dialogue they are speaking seems like it’s coming from a beat poet’s fever dream, and the plot borders on the surreal.
I’m still processing it, and most of it just kind of washed over me, but the main takeaway is that it matches the general vibe of the late 20th century being an uneasy pre-dystopia very well. I imagine that I’ll watch it again, and that it will get much better with more reps, especially as you get more familiar with the rapid fire, overlapping, enigmatic dialogue.
Score
7/10
Christine (1983) Review
Jan 04, 2023
We watched John Carpenter’s Christine and were treated to some good, old fashioned, car calendar porn.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/0Xq75RR7otQ
Synopsis
A nerdy young man named Arnie (Keith Gordon) finds his soulmate in a 1958 Plymouth Fury. He rebuilds the car and in-turn rebuilds himself as a confident, independent lad.
You Arnie notices that girls are now attracted to him, and this turns him into a force of nature. But the real force of nature seems to be his car, nicknamed Christine.
Christine seems to have a life of her own, a life centered around taking life from others.
Arnie’s mom and dad are worried about him, his friends are worried about him, and even his hot stuff girlfriend is worried about him.
Anyone who crosses Arnie, though, is worried about Christine.
Everyone get’s more classic cars than they bargained for.
Review
This coming of age tale is the inverse Stephen King screenplay to the movie we reviewed last week, Carrie, where a young girl gets her period and subsequently murders her whole school.
In Christine, we see a nerdy young man get that big dick energy when he finds something to obsess over, which is strangely true-to-life for males.
Best of all, the ending sequence takes place on New Years Eve!
Christine isn’t the silver screen powerhouse that Carrie is, but it’s interesting when viewed back to back with it’s feminine counterpart.
It’s slow, sometimes tedious, and a little mellow for a movie directed by the same guy who brought us Halloween and The Thing(John Carpenter).
That being said, there was no part of Christine where I was upset with it.
It really struck me how much of the sentiment of Carrie is in here. Arnie gets bullied relentlessly by bullies at school and his parents aren’t exactly cool. Even the garage owner bullies Arnie around. In the end Arnie doesn’t find the power within himself, he imbues it into his work. This is a weirdly masculine trait.
Where Carrie finds the magic within her, Arnie finds it within other things. Arnie needs things and others in a uniquely masculine way. He needs acceptance, he needs a girlfriend. He needs Christine. Carrie doesn’t need anyone, she just needs peace. She has had it with your shit. Arnie has too.
It’s a solid movie about a car that has the shining.If that sounds like a good time to you, this is honestly something you will enjoy.
Score
6/10
Whoores Volume 4 – We Take Your Voicemails
Dec 30, 2022
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Carrie (1976) Review
Dec 28, 2022
In the most accurate portrayal of a girls high school locker room, we are treated to the wonders and horrors of puberty. Girls experience changes in their body such as menstruation and telekinetic powers, and boys get hard.
Synopsis
In this film adaptation of Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) is a super sheltered teenage girl being raised by a religious fanatic mother while going to high school. In the first scene, we see Carrie experience her first menstruation in the girls locker room and she is utterly unequipped and humiliated. She’s relentlessly bullied by the other girls, and as a result they are punished and some seek revenge.
The film shows Carrie’s journey from being an outcast to being a self actualized young woman, albeit in a tragic way. All along the audience is privy and sympathetic to the trainwreck slowly unfolding.
Review of Carrie
Carrie was a surprise hit in 1976. Off of a budget of 1.6 million, it grossed over 30 million in the box office. Brian DePalma, the director, skillfully adapted King’s novel to the screen. There are two other Carrie adaptations, but this 1976 version is the only one that is unforgettable.
It walks the line between dark comedy, horror, melodrama successfully. The over the top cruelty and humiliation portrayed in the film don’t seem ridiculous in the setting of high school, because they represent the inner distorted world that every teenager experiences in high school. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a teenager’s imaginary audience.
Some of the characters are more caricatures than people, but the one that counts most is Carrie, and all the others serve to make hers compelling and believable. Her reactions and countenance seem insane until you meet her fanatic mother, and the pieces all fall into place.
The film deserves it’s place as one of the most iconic horror movies of all time. It’s enjoyable and unforgettable. It’s unique, strange, and somehow extremely relatable.
Score
10/10
Hatchet (2006) Review
Dec 21, 2022
We watched Hatchet on Tubi and were treated to one of the most generic comedic slashers I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/9wiSir2Cs18
Synopsis
Twenty somethings are in New Orleans and decide it will be fun to go on a haunted swamp tour.
What they don’t realize is that this is Victor Crowley’s (Kane Hodder) swamp.
Who is Victor Crowley? Besides being a close personal friend of Ozzy Osborne, he is a troubled man who lived a troubled life full of cruelty inflicted upon him by local kids. Victor’s ghost(?) now haunts the swamp where he was tragically killed by happenstance and tragedy.
Everyone gets way more ripped apart than they bargained for.
Review
I chose to review Hatchet because I’m having a hard time in my personal life and this seemed like the kind of thing that I could handle.
I was right. There is nothing here to make me feel feelings. Just mindless distraction in the form of sex, violence, and heinous monstrosities against God.
The comedy is without feeling. The violence is without warrant. The concept is as old as film. Monster bad – but monster also tragic – but get out of my swamp.
There are attempts at comedy that do not land. There is gratuitous violence that sloshes buckets of blood all over the place. There are even hot girls shooting softcore porno.
Green manages to conjure all of the basics from these legendary slasher titles with absolutely none of the heart of any of them.
Horror icons Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, and Tony Todd are featured in hatchet. Todd and Englund as fun cameos and Hodder as Crowley himself.
This is as boring and lifeless a movie as I can imagine and it helped me through a tough time.
Sometimes a mindless waste of time filled with brimming buckets of blood is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Hatchet proves that movies don’t have to be good or fun or anything but a waste of time.
Score
4/10
Titane Review
Dec 14, 2022
Have you ever fallen in love with a car? Like really fallen in love with a car? Well take that lust and combine it with a horror movie, and you get Titane.
Synopsis
Titane is about a lot of things. I mean, what isn’t Titane about? It’s not quite a Tit, and it’s not quite an Ane, but maaaan…so to answer your question, I dunno.
Just kidding, it’s about the worlds most famous female auto show twerker/serial killer getting pregnant from fucking a car, and posing as a grieving father’s long lost son. So, you know, that old yarn.
https://youtu.be/Q5_w2W5G9OM
Review of Titane
This movie is really something else. There are obvious comparisons to David Croenenberg since it has some great disturbing body horror, but at the same time, it’s not like anything I’ve seen before.
There is very little hand holding, to the point where it’s never quite explained why the protagonist does the things she does. But it’s apparent that even the protagonist doesn’t know either.
It’s a dream-like film with evocative lighting, disturbing imagery, and lots of tits.
Despite The bizarre plot and sphinx-like protagonist, there is a deeply human core to this film. It examines the inscrutable nature of desire, compulsion, and loss.
I liked it a lot, and see why it got so much buzz last year. I wouldn’t say it’s a must see, but if you are in the mood for something really weird, check it out.
Score
8/10
The Menu Review
Dec 07, 2022
We went and saw The Menu, and were plated with a heaping helping of comedy drenched in satire, smothered in secret sauce.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/Kx55Rkynhtk
Synopsis
One of the world’s most prestigious and private restaurants is located on an island where access is as limited as the invites.
A young couple of Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) and Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy) are lucky enough to make the list along with a variety of other impressive clientele.
Chef Slowik (Ralph Fiennes) is a serious man with serious talent, dedication, and staff – Maybe too serious.
What no one realizes is that tonight the menu is an extra special one and everyone gets more second helpings than they bargained for.
Review
The Menu is a strong dish that is best served without too much foreknowledge of what’s in store. It’s a moody thriller that is, at it’s core, a loving homage to dry comedies like A Mighty Wind and Best in Show.
It’s takes a deep look at inspiration in creation and skewers the consumers of art and food alike. It’s pretentious and funny and quite gruesome.
It’s also a ton of fun.
Watch The Menu
Buy or Rent on Amazon
Click Here to Watch
In the first 20 minutes, I desperately wanted to dislike this movie. Eventually it won me over with its incredibly dry humor wrapped in macabre violence and disdain for humanity.
Every character is interesting and adds something to the story, and each bit of the story unfolds in a way that keeps you waiting for that next dish.
Most importantly, The Menu doesn’t overstay its welcome. It’s perfectly portioned out and cooked to a nice sweet and nutty glaze.
Score
10/10
The Strangers Review
Nov 30, 2022
People are strange when you’re a stranger. This week we review The Strangers. Why? Because we were home.
Synopsis
A young couple comes home late after a friend’s wedding. Kristen, played by Liv Tyler, and James, played by Scott Speedman, appear distraught despite the obvious preparations for a romantic evening at home. We learn that their evening has been ruined by a failed proposal, and they awkwardly work their way through the fallout.
In the midst of their relationship turmoil in the middle of the night, they receive a strange visitor looking for “Tamara”. They turn the teen girl away, but she soon returns.
Eventually more Strangers in masks show up and torment the young couple with increasingly strange behavior.
Review of The Strangers
The Strangers is in a group of super nihilistic horror films that use lack of motive, message, and pretense to their advantage. The dread felt in this movie is strong, and is caused by the confusion and hopelessness of the protagonists’ situation.
The other feature of this story is that it is believable. The opening credits state that it is based on true events. Mainly that murderers exist and sometimes they target complete strangers for no reason.
The film reminds me of original Last House on The Left, and Funny Games, mostly because they will all completely ruin your night.
The film is well crafted and the suspense and tension is expertly increased over time. It’s a very simple and uncomplicated premise delivered in a tight hour and 30 minutes. The ending is a gut punch and will stick with you.
Score
8/10
Dashcam Review
Nov 23, 2022
We watched Dashcam on Hulu and got treated to the best 67 minutes of comedy laced terror wrapped in found footage goodness since Creep.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/uOqHr1bC7iw
Synopsis
Annie Hardy is the talented host of her own stream called Band Car. Band Car is the internet’s #1 live improvised music show broadcast from a moving vehicle.
Annie raps to a beat while spouting what lots of Americans today would consider risque truths mixed with conspiracy theories.
In an effort to escape the insanity of a divided America, Annie heads across the pond to visit her former band mate, Stretch.
Unfortunately, Annie and Stretch get into a fight because his girlfriend is a stuck up prude, and Annie takes Band Car on the road in Stretch’s stolen car.
Things start to get weird when Annie picks up a sick woman named Angela.
Everyone get’s more mask mandates than they bargained for.
Review
Dashcam is the second found footage horror movie by Rob Savage, who in 2020 brought us Host.
Fortunately, this time Rob had the foresight to cast Annie Hardy to play the role of his main character, Annie Hardy.
Annie is probably the most entertaining actress I’ve ever seen. She is clever, talented, complicated, a little crazy, and totally hilarious. Dashcam is carried almost entirely by Annie and her improvised streamer banter and bullshit.
What Annie doesn’t shoulder, is the completely insane pacing and action of this movie. Every five minutes we find ourselves in someplace new fighting off an escalating array of horror and insanity.
As we delve deeper into the terror, we find ourselves asking, “How can it get more crazy than this?” A word to the wise, you should probably buckle up, because it gets crazier!
This year we’ve been blessed with tons of great horror movies, and Dashcam is one of the best.
Score
9/10
Bonus Voicemail Episode – Whores Only 3
Nov 22, 2022
You called. We answered again.
Smile Review
Nov 16, 2022
When you’re smiling the whole world smiles at you. Maybe not in this case, but most of the resto of the time.
Synopsis
Dr. Rose Cotter, a workaholic psychiatrist at a busy hospital, sees a troubled patient that complains of hallucinations of people with creepy smiles terrifying her every waking moment. Initially Dr. Cotter doesn’t believe the young woman, but when the same phenomenon begins happening to her, she must investigate the origins of the mysterious curse before it is too late.
Review of Smile (2022)
Smile is the first feature length film from writer/director Parker Finn and is a retelling and expansion of his short Laura hasn’t slept. I haven’t been this excited about a new director since Ari Aster.
I loved this movie.
It has depth, it’s well crafted, and it features excellent performances from its cast.
Lets start with the tone and theme of the movie. It’s an on the nose allegory for the long lasting emotional effects of trauma, which specifically uses trauma as a device in the plot. The fact that it is so on the nose and that I didn’t feel like it was ever ham handed in it’s delivery, makes it all the more impressive to me. The tone is dark and helpless, and only sinks deeper throughout.
The direction and editing was fantastic. It has some of the best jumpscares I have ever witnessed, and somehow they seemed innovative instead of hacky. I jumped and yelled out several times in the theater. In so doing, it reaches the elusive praise of being “scary” by which some viewers judge horror movies.
The sound design and music should almost get top billing on the poster. I’ve never been so disorientated and terrorized by ringing phones. The music is deeply unsettling and is composed by Cristobal Tapia de Veer, who did the music for White Lotus on HBOMax
Sosie Bacon, relative of the famous Travis Bacon, plays Rose, and her devolution into madness was convincing and heart wrenching.
The characters felt fleshed out, and the relationships felt real. There was one scene between Rose and her fiance played by The Boys’ Jessie T. Usher, that felt false to me, but eventually his character and that relationship was framed in a way that even made that one moment make sense.
It’s a movie that can be easily compared to It Follows and Th e Babadook, but it doesn’t ever feel derivative.
I didn’t think I’d find another horror movie this year that I’d love as much as Barbarian, but here we are, just weeks later.
I can’t stress this enough. I am a jaded, pretentious movie reviewer (see my comments on Terrifier 2’s review for proof). I no longer watch horror movies out of love or desire. I watch them out of obligation. This movie and Barbarian opened my cold heart and gave me childlike joy and terror, much like the critic at the end of Ratatouie. My faith in filmmaking is restored when I see new creative writer/directors that can still shock and delight me in the movie theater.
We watched Terrifier 2 and were treated to a homage to 80’s slashers with a runtime of a Lord of the Rings movie.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/6KkONLf_ZKU
Synopsis
A year after his original massacre, Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton) returns to terrify Miles County. This time instead of killing random people, he seems to have an agenda and a renewed sense of humor.
Art targets the friends and family of Sienna (Lauren LaVera). He is twisted, hateful, and worst of all – inappropriately humorous.
As he mutilates kids and adults alike, he kind of helps to bring Sienna’s family together, which is as weird as it sounds.
Review
This is the third Art the Clown effort by writer/director Damien Leone, who was obviously beaten by his father as a child.
I think that it’s fair to say that Art the Clown has earned a place among the likes of Michael Myers, Jason, and Freddy, although his brand of slasher is a much more horrifically violent one, with a kind of through the looking glass feel to the whole thing.
Terrifier 2 is the longest slasher I’ve ever seen. It’s fucking long. It’s longer than The Return of the Jedi by 20 minutes!!
Lots could have been left on the editing room floor. This movie has so much extra dialog and mood scenes that I question whether or not they were just going for some kind of record.
Does the runtime make it bad? No, it just makes it less good.
Terrifier’s brand seems to be astonishingly fucked up gore set to slapstick and deadpan comedy. Some of the kill concepts in this are truly gruesome and will never leave your mind.
Is this movie good? I don’t know, it’s not my favorite thing to see horrendous gore, but I have to say, if I am going to see horrendous gore, I would choose to see it with Art the Clown. He a pretty funny guy.
This is not a real movie to me, this is some sort of attempt at a world record. It’s a pretty interesting thing to see. It pays homage to slashers of olde while cramming sex and blood down your gullet in a way that truly sickens me and makes me want to ask, “what is wrong with kids these days?” But that’s the whole point.
If that sounds like a good time to you, you probably didn’t need to listen to my review.
Score
6/10
Bonus Voicemail Episode – Whores Only 2
Nov 07, 2022
You called. We came twice.
Dog Soldiers Review
Nov 02, 2022
If you’re ready for a howlin’ good time, look no further than Dog Soldiers. The setup of a group of soldiers provides an ideal level of character development and werewolf fodder in this 2002 monster movie.
Synopsis
In the highlands of Scotland, a group of soldiers are deployed in a training mission. Before long they stumble across the scene of another squad that has been ripped apart by an unseen monster. The lone survivor, Davos Seaworth, is close lipped about what they were attacked by and why they were there, since they were using live rounds and not a part of the training mission. Soon howling and fast moving creatures start picking them off until they run into a zoologist named Megan, who knows exactly what is hunting them, werewolves.
https://youtu.be/UX9S3hdgZ5g
Review of Dog Soldiers
This is honestly the first time I’ve even heard of Dog Soldiers. And it doesn’t seem surprising given that it never had a wide release outside of the Sci Fi channel.
This is a very simple movie with a relatively low budget. However, it squeezes every cent out of the budget and delivers a fun and entertaining monster movie.
They opted to go completely practical with the effects, which limits a lot of what they can do with the werewolves, but it was the right choice given where CG was at the time.
There are some shots early on of the werewolves that are pretty laughable, in that they look like peachfuzz from Creep, but for the most part they limit the appearance of the werewolves in ways that hide how goofy they look full on.
Regardless of the special effects, the plot, characters, and dialogue in the movie are what make it worth watching in my opinion. The relationships seem real, the dialogue is fun, and the actors really pull off great performances.
This is a passion project of writer/director Neil Marshall, who is obviously having fun, and puts in a lot of references and call backs to his favorite movies throughout.
While it might not be a “great” movie, the fun is infectious and its a compelling setup with some satisfying twists at the end.
We watched Critters (1986) and were taken on a nostalgia trip the likes of which only an 80’s horror movie can deliver.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/9V3YGz-u2Ts
Synopsis
Critters is a fun and simple story about a slew of terrifying little Krites and their escape from prison asteroid sector 17, the bounty hunters hired to track them down, and a small town in Kansas who has to endure their reign of terror. After summarizing it, it seems a little less simple, but somehow it works.
As the Krites crash-land on earth, the town comes under attack. As the bounty hunters arrive, things are thrown into an even more impressive disarray by the single minded and determined bounty hunter crew.
Will the critters take over earth, or will the bounty hunters and earthlings learn how to team up to defeat these tiny terrors?
Review
Critters is a super-fun and easy-going 80’s creature feature with a ton going for it. It knows exactly what it is, which is a Star Wars, E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, Gremlins, Ghoulies, homage slash tribute slash ripoff.
Watching Critters now, I feel like I can hear the producers saying, “People want new stuff that references old stuff in a way that makes them remember the old stuff, but this new stuff has to be it’s own fun thing.” That’s exactly what Critters is, and without shame or even too much in the way of fourth-wall-breaking winks.
It’s not going to blow you away or even make you feel scared. But it’s not really supposed to make you scared. It’s supposed to be a somewhat risque and fun film for you to sit down with your youngsters on a Friday night and munch on some popcorn over.
This is a PG-13 film and in the eyes of a 10 year old, it earns it. It’s got some decent violence and lots of frightening explosions.
The Critters themselves are some of the most unique and well-thought-out horror movie monsters that I can think of. Here is a list of some of the more notable traits among Krites:
Highly mobile when rolling in a ball
Built in long-range with poison Krite quills
Always hungry and can eat anything
Can grow to massive proportions
Can reproduce limitlessly
It’s hard to hate this movie because it has so much going for it in the way of nostalgia. It uses tons of practical effects and puppetry and has a tangent storyline involving bounty hunters that is fun in a way that I can’t quite describe.
Score
7/10
Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.
Halloween Ends Review & James Jude Courtney Interview
Oct 19, 2022
The long reign of terror is over. Or is it…? It is. Hopes were high after Halloween 2018, but each installment got progressively worse, until finally, Halloween Ends.
Synopsis
The town of Haddonfield, IL is on edge from the previous Halloween’s rampage from Michael Myers. Not in a way that gets them to be safer or demand justice, but mostly in a way that makes them irrationally blame Laurie Strode for all their problems.
Corey, a good kid, ends up accidentally killing a little prick of a kid, and gets labeled as psycho by the town. He gets pushed around until he finally reaches a breaking point and starts to style himself after Michael Myers.
Laurie Strode herself, after living a life based on fear and vengeance, training herself to be the ultimate mercenary, in this movie says, meh, I’ll just live like a normal grandma now.
And Michael Myers shows up at the end.
https://youtu.be/s0vtbxLa-N8
Review of Halloween Ends
After Halloween Kills, my expectations were not high for this film, but nonetheless, it didn’t meet them. I imagine for fans of the Halloween franchise, this entry will be as befuddling to them as it is to me.
You would think that this being the final entry in the franchise, it would focus on what makes it work. Mainly, the unstoppable Michael Myers.
Nope, they play a switcheroo, and focus on attempting to create a Michael Myers stand in protege.
It’s a bold move, and could be interesting, if they didn’t completely fuck up everything to do with character development and motivation.
Every character in this movie acts completely irrationally. Your brain will feel whiplash as characters completely change motivations instantly. This serves to make the plot seem completely arbitrary and nonsensical.
The film attempts to analyze the nature of evil via nature vs nurture, but it falls completely flat, since they don’t present a compelling or cogent argument for either.
I will say that the ending is satisfying. Laurie and Michael do get their final standoff, and it does put a period on the franchise.
After watching this movie, I do hope it is the last.
The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) Commentary Track
Oct 17, 2022
Wanna watch the grossest movie out there but don’t wanna do it alone? Allow our quips to keep you company in this Human Centipede 2 commentary track! Happy Halloween!
If you had been on Patreon you would have had access to this months ago!
Hellraiser (2022) Review
Oct 12, 2022
We watched Hellraiser (2022) and were reminded of a series which has virtually infinite potential and has fallen from grace, and risen like Lazarus to raise heck again.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/oUlgwJNdu2I
Hellraiser can be found on Hulu in their formidable Huluween selection
Synopsis
Riley (Odessa A’zion) is a young woman struggling with addiction and staying sober. Her boyfriend, Trevor (Drew Starkey) is also a recovering addict who seems to be a little less concerned about sobriety and walking the straight and narrow.
Riley’s brother, Colin (Adam Faison) and his gay boyfriend, Matt (Brandon Flynn) are worried about Riley.
When Riley and her straight boyfriend, Trevor break into a storage locker and steal the puzzle box – wacky hijinks ensue and everyone gets more heck than they bargained for.
Review
Hellraiser (2022) is a promising new movie based in the Hellraiser universe. It’s 54% reboot, 27% homage, 33% slow and boring, with a nice 12% helping of gloop.
Probably the biggest thing that Hellraiser has going for it is David Bruckner is at the helm, fresh off one of our favorite movies of 2020 – The Night House and The Ritualfrom 2017.
What works
Hellraiser does a lot of things right. It keeps the plot pretty easy to follow, and stays true to a lot of the lore of the series. It also has a lot of nods to sequels in the long line of Hellraiser movies.
The re-imagined Cenobites are off putting and sometimes horrifying, which is fabulous. Jamie Clayton as The Priest aka lady pinhead is something to behold, and strangely sexless as a character.
Lots of this movie was upsetting and hard to watch, but there was some stuff that didn’t work too well for me. I’m a bit tired of the same story playing out over and over again.
With this intellectual property, you could go to actual hell, and have any number of incredible and weird stories play out. Just take Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 as an example.
Instead, we have to see a bunch of new people going through a lot of similar actions that we’ve seen before.
The pacing on this Hellraiser is also incredibly slow. It’s clear that a slow burn was their intent, but sometimes it drags a little too much.
Final Recommendation
Overall, this is a breath of fresh air to an otherwise dead series, and I’m glad to see it. I’ve always thought that Hellraiser had a ton of potential, and this is a pretty high-quality example of where it can go.
Score
7/10
Bonus Voicemail Episode – Whores Only
Oct 08, 2022
You called. We came.
Barbarian Review
Oct 05, 2022
A tight premise excellently executed by one of the Whitest Kids You Know. This taut thriller ramps up to a wacky exploitational movie in such a unique way, it left me grinning from ear to ear.
https://youtu.be/1rymTj1BGzY
Synopsis
Tess, played by Georgina Campbell, travels to Detroit to interview for a job. When she arrives in the middle of the night at her Airbnb rental, she discovers that it is already inhabited by a man that supposedly rented the house from another site. Despite being leery of the man , played by Bill Skarsgard, she comes inside to figure out what went wrong with the rental companies. The man , named Keith, is friendly, but perhaps overly friendly in addition to several other red flags. The longer Tess stays in the house, the more she discovers about Keith and the history of the house, to her detriment.
Also, the Mac guy shows up.
Review of Barbarian
This movie is a wild ride, and honestly a contender for my favorite of the year. It is really a movie divided by two halves. One very grounded in reality with a slow burn building of suspense relating to interactions with strangers. The other, while still not paranormal, enters a heightened bizarro underground realm of debauchery and brutality.
https://youtu.be/Dr89pmKrqkI
This film reminded me of Malignant in that it pulled off the tone that Malignant utterly failed to deliver on. That being a taut mystery thriller evolving into an exploitational fun fest.
The writer/director, Zach Cregger is mostly known from being a straight-man cast member in WKYK. He joins Jordan Peele as Sketch comedy graduate transformed into a horror prodigy
When I say that I enjoyed this movie, I mean that I had many times where I laughed in delight about the writing, acting, and direction. I was smiling ear to ear at the end of the film.
Score
10/10
https://youtu.be/zUqIv5PvbGk
The Mummy (1999) Review W/ Max Allen of Disc Review
Sep 28, 2022
We watched The Mummy from 1999 with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and were reminded of a simpler time, when unlimited double handguns were the solution to all of life’s little problems.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/fZE8jD6fiZg
Synopsis
In a story as old as time, grave robbing, gold digging, westerners invade the ancient city of Hamunaptra and steal the life and death savings of a napping Egyptian Pharaoh.
The Pharaoh, played by a man who should be named Billy Zane, but who is actually named Arnold Vosloo gets re-animated and seeks to re-animate his girlfriend so they can fuck from beyond the grave.
Brendan Fraser has guns, a dashing smile, and a seething hatred of unspent shells. Rachel Weisz is a bookish librarian who is swept up in this action romp and soon gets more mummy than she bargained for.
Review
You’ve probably heard of Indiana Jones and Die Hard – well what if I was to tell you those movies birthed a third, superior movie starring Brendan Fraser?
You would say, “Fill me up, daddy!”
Then I would slam The Mummy into your VHS player and smack your mother in the face before I sent you to the underworld of ecstasy by hitting the “Play” button.
The Mummy doesn’t give a shit what you think about reality. It sends an army of the undead and a swarm of Egyptian beetles called scarabs to eat you. Scarabs don’t eat you alive by burrowing under your skin, but The Mummy doesn’t give a shit.
It wants you to sit down, shut up, and have a blast – and by god you will.
It’s a movie that keeps it simple in the most impressive way possible. Any braindead dumb dumb can follow this plot, and that’s not a bad thing.
Fraser makes funny faces, and is so handsome that I am unsure of my sexuality.
Howdy pardners and pardnettes, it’s time to join the rodeo and review Bone Tomahawk. It’s going to be a rootin tootin good time.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.
Synopsis
In the sleepy old west town of Bright Hope, it is anything but, as the town doctor is kidnapped by a band of indigenous cave dwellers that even the (other?) Native Americans think are savages. Kurt Russel’s Sherriff Hunt leads a band of men on a rescue mission made up of his elderly assistant deputy played by Richard Jenkins, the arrogant Gunslinger Brooder played by Mathew Fox, and The doctor’s lame husband played by Patrick Wilson. Actually lame, his leg is broke. He’s actually a pretty cool dude.
They make their way through the frontier to find the territory of the Troglodytes, and find out that the stories of their savagery are if anything underselling it.
https://youtu.be/0ZbwtHi-KSE
Review of Bone Tomahawk
This film is one of a few in the genre of Western Horror, and few if any reach the quality of this film.
The film is effective in it’s simplicity. It’s a rescue mission ala The Searchers. You have the set of archetypal characters that are thrown together by situation and duty, and several dilemmas and power struggles along the journey to find the location of the savages.
Bone Tomahawk Poster
When they get to the Troglodyte Territory, the tone takes a sharp turn into straight up torture porn horror.
The mission goes from the guys in white hats will surely win, to oh no… oh nonono.
While the first half of the movie drags a little, I think it’s necessary to set up the characters and give contrast to the horror at the end of the film.
One scene in particular stands out so much that it’s basically become a meme as “that scene” in Bone Tomahawk. For good reason. It will stick with you, and if you are a man, you will especially feel something.
We watched Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 on Prime and found a not often talked about sequel that pis the epitome of everything 80’s horror.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/rd427TjMGxI
Synopsis
Doctor Channard is the lead doctor in charge of an insane asylum.
Kirsty, the protagonist from the original Hellraiser is fresh out of her experience in the first movie and is sent to Doctor Channard’s asylum.
She warns of terrible creatures that killed her family, known as the Cenobites.
Coincidentally, Doctor Channard has been searching for the Cenobites and a doorway to hell for quite a while. As Doc Channard heads to hell Kirsty follows him to try to … save? … her family?
Everyone gets more hell than they bargained for.
Review
Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 is one of the craziest horror movies I have ever seen, and that’s saying something. Hellbound came out a mere year after the original, in 1988, and managed to be a pretty coherent and disturbing ride.
While some of the plot is a little obtuse and hard to follow, it’s made up for with some of the gnarliest gore, and craziest worldbuilding I’ve seen in a long time.
Remember when movies would come out of real left field places and smack you in the face with stuff you’ve never thought of before? Well, Hellbound is determined to pummel you with that kind of thing until you relent.
This sequel leans heavily on the original, including a lot of the most effective special effects and scenes from the first Hellraiser, which ends up being amazing because that first movie is great!
Hellbound goes even further than the original in some of the more disturbing imagery and suggestive scenes. I found myself closing my eyes during one scene where I just didn’t want to have to see what was happening anymore.
I wasn’t checking my watch throughout my viewing of Hellbound, and i had such a blast with all the crazy concepts that this has catapulted itself into one of my very favorite 80’s horror movies.
A tremendous amount of this film relies on the concept of medical malpractice and a shrugging of ethics being scary, which finds a new foothold today.
While the plot is a little strained, this is the stuff that a true 80’s horror fan will cream their pants over.
Score
9/10
Orphan: First Kill Review
Sep 07, 2022
Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU).
https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.
Synopsis
Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman. Now a fully grown adult woman, she is reprising her role as Esther, a thirty something year old psychopathic proportional dwarf posing as an 8-9 year old girl. In this film, we are shown how Esther escapes an Estonian mental facility and poses as an American family’s lost daughter. As time goes on, the family has more questions about Esther, and Esther has more questions about the family. Hjinks ensue.
https://youtu.be/_uX6of3vBu0
Orphan: First Kill Trailer
Review of Orphan: First Kill
This is not a good movie, it’s not a bad movie, it’s meh. The film is directed by William Brent Bell, who directed The Boy and The Boy 2, which should set your expectations squarely in the Meh cinematic universe.
I do applaud the plotting of the film, it unlocks the puzzle of how to reuse a one use premise.
Here’s the elephant in the room. Isabelle Fuhrman is not 10 years old any more. No matter the amount of camera angles and the de-aging they use, she still looks like a full grown woman. It doesn’t detract from the film nearly as much as you would expect, but it is a bizarre choice nonetheless. Would you film a Home Alone Prequel with a fully grown Macaulay Culkin?
The saving grace of the film is the twist around the middle of the film. It does add an interesting dynamic, and saves it from being a true rehash.
Overall, you get what you expect. A little psychopath that kills a lot of people.
We watched The Ring and were treated to one of the most impressive and scary PG-13 movies ever made.
https://youtu.be/yzR2GY-ew8I
The Ring can be streamed with a Paramount + subscription, or for a nominal rental fee wherever movies are found.
Synopsis
A videotape that has the power to kill those who view it seems to be at the center of a string of four teenage deaths.
Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) is a newspaper reporter who becomes interested in these deaths and takes it on herself to follow up.
After she views the tape, Rachel begins to find herself being pulled deeper and deeper down the proverbial rabbit hole that seems to look a lot like a dark and ominous well.
Will Rachel be able to crack the story of how this video tape works or will she get more dead little girls than she bargained for?
Review
Directed by Gore Verbinski, The Ring is the American Remake of the Japanese 1998 film, Ringu. Gore went on to direct all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, along with a few more big Disney projects.
The Ring was a tentpole classic horror movie almost as soon as it was released in 2002.
The creepy concept of a video tape that kills was too much for anyone to resist, and the fact that the tape itself is viewed by the audience makes it so much more titillating.
The tone of The Ring is deadly serious, and it lands just right in the quiet of your darkened home on a Friday night. It feels morose and hopeless and creepy beyond compare.
The tape is so dark and disturbing, but so vague that it taps into some gross center of things that people fear.
The heavy lifting in The Ring is left up to the sound design, which is absolutely perfect. So much of this movie is quiet and muted in terms of the ambiance, and the jump scares are so pronounced and shrill that it places you squarely on the edge of your seat and keeps you there. The iconic sound of the video is so unique and terrifying that I can hear it echoing in my nightmares to this day.
Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson are so beautiful to look at that it’s hard not to worry that they might die at any moment, but somehow it makes sense that the thing to kill them would be a videotape.
There are few movies that are held in such high regard as The Ring, which has everything to do with it’s ability to resonate eerie terror to all those who watch it.
That said, I have always thought, even on my first viewing that at a 1:55:00 runtime it’s a little long-winded. The movie certainly takes it’s time to slowly unwind the mystery or what happened to Samara. Much of the Samara storyline seems extraneous in an otherwise nearly perfect movie.
Score
9/10
Get Out Review
Aug 24, 2022
Remember that hilarious Jordan Peele from sketch comedy shows like Mad TV and Key & Peele? Well he decided to make a movie, and I’m sure it’s going to be… hilarious.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.
Synopsis
Chris Washington, played by Daniel Kaluuya, is taking a vacation with his girlfriend to meet her family. Played by Allison Williams, his girlfriend Rose convinces Chris that her family will be perfectly fine with her dating a black man despite the fact that she never told them about his race.
The weekend begins pleasant, albeit slightly awkward. However as time goes on, Chris notices weird behavior from the black employees of the family. Chris becomes suspicious that something is wrong, but before he can GET OUT, he’s caught in the family’s trap and has to escape a fate worse than death.
https://youtu.be/DzfpyUB60YY
Review of Get Out
Get Out is Jordan Peele’s first film as a writer/director and he delivered way beyond expectations given his sketch comedy background. Peele turns out to be an expert at building tension while utilizing, and commenting on latent racial tension in the US.
I distinctly remember seeing the trailer in the movie theater and was immediately delighted by the implied premise of the film, that the scariest thing to a young black man, is…white people.
It really is impressive how this film gives a really nuanced social commentary on what it is like to experience racism. Peele didn’t choose the easy target of right wing southern whites as the danger to Chris, he specifically used an affluent “New York liberal type” family. It expresses the false sense of security of a masked racism right below the surface that others and marginalizes black people.
The quality of this commentary is really magnified by all of the racial allegory horror movies that have come out since. Just watch Antebellum or the Candyman remake to see how blunt these allegories can be.
They are heading to the woods to – you guessed it – party. They are partying at a – you guessed it – cabin.
They get sick with a – you guessed it – fever.
Everyone gets more Cabin Fever than they bargained for.
Review
With that extremely simple synopsis you would think that Cabin Fever wouldn’t be anything special, but you’d be wrong. Simple is often exactly what is called for, and this is no exception.
Cabin Fever is Writer/Director Eli Roth’s first full feature length directorial effort and is probably the reason he has become known as one of the modern horror greats of today.
It’s a movie so full of horror tropes and homages that on paper it seems like it should fade into the background with every other generic horror effort. But Cabin Fever stands out.
Cabin Fever stands out because it knows what’s funny, it knows what’s campy, and it knows what scares you.
We get to see Roth’s early takes on edgy dialog and non-politically correct character, which seems to draw inspiration from Tarantino’s work.
What Cabin Fever does really well is tap into people’s innate fear of infection and sickness. The concepts behind this fast moving disease are alarming and are something we are now all intimately familiar with following the pandemic.
Being helpless in the face of the suffering and death of your friends is a truly heinous concept, and Roth is able to balance this serious terror with lightness and humor in all the right ways.
As a result, Cabin Fever works it’s way into a fond place in any horror fan’s memories in much the same way Hostel (Roth’s second directorial effort) does.
Score
8/10
Prey (2022) Review
Aug 08, 2022
Prey takes the Predator franchise back to it’s roots by focusing on a mano a mano fight to the death. However, what this film does even better than the original is create a compelling protagonist with a clear character arc.
Synopsis
Prey is set in 1719 in the Comanche nation. Our protagonist, Naru is a young woman that wants to prove herself as a capable hunter by going through kühtaamia, a coming of age hunt between a Comanche and an animal Predator. As she struggles to prove herself, she discovers through her tracking skills that mountain lions and bears (oh my) aren’t the only big game in the land.
An alien Predator has been dropped off to complete a similar hunt and inevitably clashes with Naru (and her little dog too).
https://youtu.be/wZ7LytagKlc
Review of Prey
Prey is the fifth in the franchise of standalone Predator movies. 7th if you include the AVP movies, but let’s not talk about those.
So it’s taken 3 movies and 35 years to get back to the basic premise of a primarily mano a mano fight between an outmatched human protagonist and the Predator in the wilderness. It’s almost like someone identified what worked in the original movie, and… used that information to make a good movie.
Although very similar in plot, this isn’t a direct remake. Writers Patrick Aison and Dan Trachtenberg made some very interesting changes in the setup that further accentuate what works in the original. Instead of a roided up Arnold, we get a diminutive, yet ferocious Naru. Instead of a modern setting with giant guns and explosives, Naru only has use of primitive weapons.
Everything works with this film. Mostly it comes down to the writers and director keeping it simple. They use the tried and true hero’s journey template and add enough set piece action sequences at the right times in the story to maintain interest. The story never strays far from the perspective of the protagonist, so it feels intimate and gives the audience one person to really root for.
The writing, directing, and acting is all great. There is very little to distract from the enjoying the film. If you are a fan of the original Predator, you will really enjoy this film, but not feel pandered to.
The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence Review
Aug 03, 2022
We watched The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence and were treated to one of the most lauded gross-out flicks in recent memory.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/GpcCJ8ozirU
Synopsis
This is the unfortunate story of Martin, a diminutive, quiet, and overweight lad who doesn’t fancy senseless chit-chat. Martin is a nightshift parking lot attendant who has an obsession with the movie, The Human Centipede: First Sequence.
He fantasizes about someday creating his own human centipede, larger and more fleshed out than the one depicted in the movie.
Martin’s life is depraved in every way that you can imagine. His mother hates him for having his father put away for sexually molesting him. His therapist wants to molest him. His neighbor wants to kill him.
One day Martin snaps. Everyone gets more poop mouth than they bargained for.
Review
The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence is a meta sequel to, you guessed it, The Human Centipede. Martin obsesses over the first movie, and for that, I kind of love this sequel.
It’s not just the meta take that’s fun, it’s the insanity of the whole thing done with a smile and a wink. It’s absolutely depraved because it feels like a place and a person and a life that could exist.
With this sequel director Tom Six set out to give “true horror fans” a movie worthy of total disgust. In this he delivers, I would definitely place this among the grossest movies I’ve ever watched right along side, Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood, and The Sadness.
The enjoyment of The Human Centipede 2 lies in the shock value and the commitment to depravity. The version we watched was in black and white, which added a whole other level of gritty grossness to the already disgusting experience.
There were more than a few moments where the comedy in this shown through the waves of nausea and I laughed out loud with shocked disgust.
I admire this movie for what it is, an attempt to make you watch it through your fingers.
Most people will find this movie to be absolutely uncalled for and totally devoid of entertainment value – it’s not for those people. The genius part about The Human Centipede 2 is that it uses those people who shouldn’t be watching it as a siren song to get to those who should be watching it.
The Human Centipede 2 exists, and that’s enough for me. For the seasoned horror fan, this isn’t a scary movie in terms of being thrilled or startled, it’s scary because of what it puts in your soul.
Score
6/10
Nope Review
Jul 27, 2022
Jordan Peele’s third outing as a horror film writer/director, Nope, continues his trajectory as one of the best horror filmmakers of a generation. In Nope, he turns the trope of a UFO on it’s head and makes it a truly terrifying presence.
Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram)
Synopsis
After a freak accident involving falling objects from the sky kills their father, OJ (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald Heywood (Keke Palmer) are left to manage the struggling family ranch of trained horses. As horses start disappearing, a strange object in the sky seems to be the culprit. OJ and Emerald decide to capitalize on the opportunity by filming the UFO.
https://youtu.be/In8fuzj3gck
Review of Nope
This is Jordan Peele’s third horror movie that he’s written and directed, and he’s already established himself as one of the most interesting voices in the genre. I know that I was looking forward to seeing this one ever since I saw the trailer.
What’s most interesting about this film is that it takes the popular concept of a UFO as mysterious and clinically detached, and makes it personal and menacing.
It’s a very eclectic movie with a lot of seemingly disparate storylines and characters, and in the end ties them together nicely. It’s got killer chimps, the Hollywood film industry, family tragedy, sibling relationships, and more all contributing to the story of what this UFO is and why it is there.
At the center of the film is the relationship between OJ and Emerald. It’s a mix of button pushing, comfort, frustration, and love that comes from being siblings. OJ is a stoic introvert driven by duty, and Emerald is an ambitious extrovert, looking to make a mark in the world. Their contrast and the resulting relationship really grounds the film by giving it heart.
Nope Poster
This film melds Peele’s weird and unique sensibilities from US with Spielbergian spectacle. There is genuine off-putting menace throughout, but especially in the third act, there are some undeniably fun and exciting sequences. My only gripe is that the runtime is a little long and seems to meander a bit in the middle.
Some of the story elements like Stephen Yuen’s character and the monkey attack are nice for color, but don’t have a very satisfying payoff.
Overall this movie is a genuinely good time, and well worth the trip to the theater
We watched Vampire’s Kiss on Vudu and it was a delightful window into the soul of one of the most impressive, interesting, and entertaining actors of our age, Nic Cage.
https://youtu.be/PnoSxO_2ghQ
Synopsis
Publishing executive Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) is bitten by a woman and starts acting erratically. Believing that he is being controlled by his vampire mistress puts a great deal of stress and pressure on Peter.
As he deals with the stress of this new vampire relationship, Peter leans more and more heavily on his poor secretary, Alva (Maria Conchita Alonso).
As Peter’s madness evolves, it becomes questionable to the audience exactly what is real and what is Peter’s rapidly devolving mental state.
Everyone gets more Nicolas Cage than they bargained for.
Review
Vampire’s Kiss is an anomaly of a movie. It’s not exactly a terrifying horror movie due to the strong overtones of comedy within Cage’s performance. On the other hand it’s not exactly a feel good romp due to the very serious mental decline of Peter, our protagonist turned antagonist and extremely unreliable narrator.
It’s a dark comedy that will delight those who want to be taken on a crazy ride.
Vampire’s Kiss strongest feature is the insane performance given by Nic Cage. He creates such a believably crazy character that you can’t help but remember bumping into people just like him on public transportation and wondering, what is their life like.
The best part is, you get to see what his life is like. It’s touched, tragic, and totally bonkers.
I can’t help but feel like writer Joseph Minion spent some time on the New York subway watching mentally disturbed people and began posing the question to himself, “what brought that person to this unfortunate place? What was their life like before and during their transition into madness?”
This is pretty much the only notable directing credit that director Robert Bierman has, and that astonishes me. It’s such a weirdly enjoyable movie and shares so much in common with one of my favorite movies of all time, American Psycho that I can’t help but see all the inspiration that Vampire’s Kiss has given to more recent dark comedy movies.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer Review
Jul 13, 2022
Before Sarah Michele Gellar, Kristy Swanson brought Joss Whedon’s iconic vampire slaying heroine to the silver screen. Does this 90s relic hold up to scrutiny sans nostalgia? listen to our latest episode to find out.
Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram)
Synopsis
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, before she was an iconic television heroine was first found on the silver screen starring Kristy Swanson. Considering this movie is 30 years old, I’m not sure many people remember it, let alone the WB television show. However, Joss Whedon, it’s writer is well known, having written and directed some of the highest grossing films of all time in the last decade.
Buffy in this film is the stereotypical Valley Girl of the 90s. The type that opened Sir Mix a Lot’s hit single of the same year “I Like Big Butts”. She is vapid, dumb, and flaky. When an infestation of vampires begin to invade LA and her high schools Hawthorne High, a mysterious man in a trench coat named Merrick shows up. Merrick informs Buffy that she has been chosen to be the latest in a long line of vampire hunters throughout history. Buffy has no interest, but she finds she has a natural knack for Slaying. She decides to team up with Merrick and train so that she can defeat Lothos, the ancient vampire that is the leader of the cause of the recent uptick in vampire activity.
https://youtu.be/pnZkV_aR_9w
Review of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
I have a lot of nostalgia for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watched it several times in the 90s as a prepubescent little fat kid. I remember it having some iconic performances and moments, but upon checking the Rotten Tomatoes critics score, it sits at 36%. Was I so out of touch? No, it’s the critics who are wrong.
Watching it yesterday, I tried to put off nostalgia and be unbiased. It has some good bones. There are some great performances and Joss Whedon’s writing does shine through, but it is bogged down by poor direction.
Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Paul Rubens, Rutger Hauer, and Luke Perry all bring the appropriate amount of gravitas and goofiness that the high concept screenplay demands.
The dialogue is top notch, creating compelling characters while placing it squarely in 90s LA. Where it has problems is when it comes to establishing stakes (no pun intended) and establishing the lore in a compelling way. This is often blamed on changes made to Joss Whedon’s original script, which resulted in him walking away from the set halfway through production. In a comic book series called Buffy the Vampire Slayer The Origin, you can read the original vision Joss Whedon had for the film. It really is nearly identical except for a few key scenes.
Where the film starts to fall apart is the choppy and sometimes confusing editing and direction. It’s clear that the studio and/or director wanted to de-emphasize the darker elements of the story and focus more on the light hearted comedic aspects. What they didn’t understand is that those dark moments help to sell the comedy and make it a much more compelling film if executed right.
The stakes are never truly established, because we’re never shown that Buffy particularly cares about her school or any of her other similarly vapid friends. We are given scant details of the main villain, and when the main confrontations occur, they seem arbitrary and rushed.
In the end, while it still holds a special place in my heart, I can see the flaws in the movie, and it’s just aight.
Resolution (2013) Review with Fart Simpson
Jul 06, 2022
We watched Resolution on Tubi and were treated to something so meta that Facebook might have a case against them.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/6-5uBCIA94c
Synopsis
Mike (Peter Cilella) heads out into the country to force his friend Chris (Vinny Curran) to quit his stimulant abuse after receiving a video of him deep in the depths of psychosis.
Upon arriving at Chris’ domicile, Mike starts noticing lots of weird doings transpiring.
After chaining Chris to the wall, the two close friends hunker down and start reliving their relationship to everyone’s chagrin.
As Mike begins to delve deeper into Chris’ world and the rural area around the house, he keeps noticing strange occurrences that indicate they are being watched.
What is watching Mike and Chris, and how will this movie end?
Review
A couple months ago I watched The Endless – another movie that was written and directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. It blew me away. I heard that Resolution was the first movie that they made, and it tied in to The Endless. Having watched The Endless before Resolution made the experience a lot more enjoyable and interesting.
As a stand alone film, Resolution is fairly interesting and compelling. It’s essentially a drama with a lot of sinister mystery thrown in for good measure.
Being a fairly paranoid person, a lot of the feelings conveyed in this movie are familiar to me.
Most of what Resolution explores is the complexities of addiction, and what it means to find meaning in life. Sometimes meaning is what we make of it, and sometimes the world provides us with the bump we needed to wish we had done more with what we had.
Alone, it’s not a groundbreaking movie, but it does do a lot in terms of meta winking and suggestions. While not as in-your-face with the meta as Scream, the narrative in this is so meta that it’s a little daunting to fully appreciate. It’s a perfect movie to follow up The Endless which is one of my favorite horror movies in years.
Score
7/10
The Black Phone Review
Jun 29, 2022
If you want to feel stranger danger, look no further than Scott Derrickson’s new film The Black Phone in theaters now. This well constructed and acted supernatural thriller is well worth your time.
Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram)
Synopsis
Pretty much all you need to know is in the trailer. In the late 70s in North Denver, there is a spate of missing children. Rumors abound of a predator named “the Grabber”.
Finney, the protagonist, is either a popular baseball pitcher, or a shy weakling who is picked on by bullies. He is soon grabbed by the grabber, played by Ethan Hawk in a mask channeling Pennywise the clown. His sister Gwen has a touch of the shinning, and has dreams about where the Grabber takes his victims.
While Finney is locked in the Grabbers basement, the disconnected BLACK PHONE in the room receives calls from the previous victims of the grabber from beyond the grave.
Finney must work to free himself using the knowledge given to him from the phone and using his own wits.
https://youtu.be/3eGP6im8AZA
Review of The Black Phone
This is a very capable film. It feels very much like a Stephen King story, which makes sense, since the original story was written by his son Joe Hill. It is directed by Scott Derrickson, who previously directed Sinister and the Exorcism of Emily Rose. This is to say that The Black Phone is in capable hands.
A lot is given away in the trailer, which is unfortunate, but the film has some good twists and turns and ends up being compelling and engaging throughout.
The biggest pleasant surprise is the quality of the acting from the young cast. Especially Mason Thames who plays Finney, and Madeleine McGraw who plays Gwen, and has some of the best lines in the film.
The first act does a very good job of creating a compelling three dimensional character in Finney. His life isn’t all roses, having to deal with an alcoholic abusive father along with school yard bullies. We are shown that Finney is empathetic, strong, and capable, but doesn’t fight for himself. He seems to survive day to day depending on friendships and his relationship with his little sister. This sets up a compelling character arc that seems natural and satisfying in the end.
There isn’t a lot of time spent on the Grabber. He is more of a presence and more of a looming threat than an active participant for most of the film. I would have liked to see them do more with him. There was ample opportunity to go very dark, and I was a little surprised given Derricksons previous films that there wasn’t more done to show what The Grabber did with his previous victims. This might have upped the stakes a little and made The Grabber a more indelible villain.
Overall, it was a very enjoyable movie, and exceeded my expectations.
We watched Constantine on HBO Max and I realized that I had a bunch of unfounded ill-will toward this movie, which is pretty good.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/DEa508Xmmio
Synopsis
Constantine is about John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), a DC character whose job is essentially to send demons back to hell. Or at least he made it his job when he realized that he was heading there.
He is approached by Angela (Rachel Weisz) and asked to help her prove that her twin sister didn’t commit suicide. As a devout Catholic, Angela realizes that if her sister did actually commit suicide she damned herself to hell.
With the help of his plucky sidekick, Chas (Shia LaBeouf) and some of his friends, John is on the case.
He finds himself in the middle of a war where the Devil’s son, Mammon, is trying to unleash himself into the world of the living.
Everyone gets more holy hand grenades than they bargained for.
Review
Constantine is a pretty impressive movie in a couple different ways.
Firstly, it had a large budget and was able to spend a lot of it on CGI monsters and backdrops, which wouldn’t normally be a plus. But this CGI from 2005 actually holds up quite well.
It also has enough action and interesting characters to keep you involved in the movie from beginning to end. In fact, the Angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) and Satan (Peter Stormare) are some of the best depictions of well-known Bible characters that I’ve ever seen on screen.
Constantine doesn’t dwell on the origin story, while still acknowledging it, which is a breath of fresh air in today’s hyper-cookie-cutter style comic book movie world.
By the end of Constantine, if you are bought in on the story the payoff will be pretty impressive. It’s not without fault, however. This movie came out two years after The Matrix trilogy concluded, and it feels like a direct port of that series in a lot of ways. From the stylized world to the monotone color pallet to starring Keanu as the savior of mankind – it’s uh, kind of obvious.
Also, it was originally touted as a horror movie and I can see where it threw in scary imagery and concepts to try and please the horror crowd. Make no mistake, this is not what I would call a “hard-horror movie”. This is an action-thriller that dealt with some of the scarier elements of religion, and the studio figured they could get a bigger audience if they could draw the horror crowd. This was my issue with the movie when I originally watched it on the bigscreen.
Overall, it’s a pretty fun movie that I would watch again after a few years. It was a much better Catholic horror movie than The Nun, so there’s that.
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Mad God Pretentious Review Sneak Peak
Jun 18, 2022
Mad God is the new Phil Tippett stop motion animation movie available exclusively on Shudder. In this Patreon only review, we talk a lot about this movie and what we loved and hated about it.
To support our show and gain access to the following Patreon only Pretentious reviews, support us on Patreon!
Movies you can only hear us review on Patreon:
Mad God (2022)
The Vanishing
Cat People (1942)
Zombie (1979)
Cemetery Man (1994)
Psycho
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Don’t Look Now
The Void
Hausu (House)
Ghoulies
Greenland
Army of the Dead
Cabin in the Woods
Dead Alive / Braindead
Basket Case
Stranger By The Lake (L’inconnu du lac) Review
Jun 15, 2022
For Pride month this year, we decided to review a great LGBTQ+ horror movie. Saying Stranger By The Lake is a horror movie, is pretty generous, since it is more on the light end of thriller. But what it lacks in horror, it makes up in homoeroticism.
Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram)
Synopsis
At a French lake, Franke spends his summer days cruising for gay sex. Along the way he befriends the pudgy middle-aged depressive Henri who is ostensibly bisexual, but has no interest in sex, but provides good conversation. Franke sees a gay French Tom Selleck-type at the lake named Michel and is instantly attracted to him. Michel seems to be involved with someone else, but when Franke spies Michel drowning his presumed boyfriend, Franke decides to shoot his shot.
https://youtu.be/kG4py4khTEM
Review of Strange By The Lake (L’inconnu du lac)
This is an understated erotic thriller that could also be considered a black comedy. It explores themes of lust, relationships, commitment, loyalty, hot hot steamy cock.
This was on a list of “gay horror films” that I came across, and I hadn’t heard it, but the set up seemed intriguing. A man witnesses a murder, but decides “doesn’t matter, still got laid”.
It is an engaging thriller, but calling it a horror movie is being pretty generous with the genre. The last 10 mins or so could be considered horror, but the bulk of the film is mostly drama. By drama, I mean explicit, unsimulated gay sex.
To say that there is gay sex in this movie is an understatement. It is basically soft core gay porn for a good 60% of the film. In past episodes, we have advocated for more full frontal male nudity, and more sex in films. Well, be careful what you wish for.
I’ll admit that most of my enjoyment came from knowing that I was forcing David to watch this, because if I had known how hard it would go, I probably wouldn’t have suggested it.
However, I actually really liked this film. Like I said it is understated in that it says a lot with a few words. The script is very tight, and the characters intriguing. The acting is great, and a lot is communicated through glances and silences.
We went and saw Crimes of the Future and witnessed David Cronenberg‘s return to body horror in one of the most upsetting films of the year.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/xyCI741MqPY
Synopsis
Crimes of the Future is a story about the far flung future, where the earth has succumb to environmental havoc wreaked on it by the human race. Humanity has been treated with pain-killers for so long that the concept of physical pain is novel.
Our protagonists are Saul Tensor (Viggo Mortensen) and Caprice (Léa Seydoux), who’s art is performative surgery that seems to be extremely sexual in nature.
Saul Tensor is like a portion of humanity who finds himself growing auxiliary organs that make his life extremely uncomfortable. From eating to sleeping, Saul never finds himself far from discomfort, which is strange, given how much of humanity seems to experience so little in terms of feeling that they intentionally mutilate themselves to feel anything at all.
A young child named Brecken is murdered by his mother for eating a plastic trash can in the opening scene of this movie. A complicated game of cat and mouse between a shady government agency and a splinter cell of candybar aficionados takes place surrounding Brecken’s death.
Does art imitate life? Will humanity embrace their inevitable evolution?
Review
Crimes of the Future is the result of 50 years of doom and gloom reporting on humanities shaping of our environment. This future is one that you’ve had visions of every time you hear a news report of the trash island in the Pacific. A humanity made perverse by its own inability to react to itself.
More than that, this is a return to intense body horror for renowned writer, director David Cronenburg.
I have to admit, Crimes of the Future hones in on my most intense personal terror – surgical imagery. I first found this personal weakness in the fourth grade when my teacher went into vivid detail in describing how doctors removed her brain tumor. I felt sweaty and weak, and soon passed out on my desk.
Watch Crimes of the Future
Watch on Amazon
Click Here to Buy or Rent
Since then, I’ve come a long way in my ability to deal with thoughts and descriptions of surgery. Crimes of the Future cracked me by fusing surgery with sexuality and kink. There is something so perverse in the concept of sexualizing voluntary surgery that i found myself sweating and my vision blurring like I was back in the fourth grade.
The world that Crimes of the Future takes place in is so bleak and sad, I found myself wishing that the movie would end.
The concepts within are terribly interesting and well-presented. Questions like, “What is natural?” and “How do you deal with admiration if the thing that people admire about you is what you most hate about yourself?” crop up all over this masterpiece. There is no shortage of thought-provoking concepts and questions to keep your head busy for ages.
I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this uncomfortable watching a movie that Horror Movie Talk has reviewed. I can say that the most uncomfortable parts for me were within the first and second act. I contemplated leaving the theater after a particular scene, but I’m glad I didn’t because the end had less revolting content and more interesting questions.
A worthwhile movie that is sure to make you feel uncomfortable on a variety of levels. While it’s not as universally relatable as the performance given by Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, it’s very close to it.
Score
9/10
The Fly (1986) Review
Jun 01, 2022
This film is the epitome of body horror, done by the master of body horror: David Cronenberg. If you have never seen The Fly, you’ll definitely be saying to yourself “Ew, David”.
Artwork by Dusting Goebel (@dgoebel00 on Instagram)
Synopsis
Jeff Goldblum plays Seth Brundle, a brilliant scientist that has successfully developed a working transporter. When he shows it to Geena Davis’ Veronica Quaife there are still a few kinks to work out with transporting living tissue. Vis-à-vis keeping the insides in. In an impulsive moment, after he corrects the issue, he decided to transport himself as the first human subject. However, he was so preoccupied with whether he could, and didn’t stop to think if he should. As time goes on, he slowly realizes that something went wrong and his body experiences a terrifying metamorphosis.
https://youtu.be/bdB02IufaW0
Review of The Fly (1986)
The Fly still works. David Cronenberg, the director, has made his career off of pushing the limits, and in this movie, by doing so, he creates one of the best body horror movies ever filmed.
This film won an Oscar for best makeup for good reason. Seth Brundle’s slow transformation moves from the superficial to the grotesque so gradually, that you still think of him as a man even when he becomes a straight up monster. That is actually a big benefit to the film, because you maintain empathy for an utterly disgusting creature up to the final shot of the film.
Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum work really well together, and have excellent chemistry on screen, which makes sense because they eventually married for several years. Davis’ performance really grounds the film for the audience, because we are really watching all of the events of the film from the perspective of Veronica Quaife. Her reactions of wonder and horror really sells the special effects that we witness.
Jeff Goldblum is the perfect casting for a mad scientist, as the character’s eccentricities are utterly believable coming from him. Although, I have to say, this is only about 50% Goldbluhm compared to how eccentric he is today.
Overall, the story, characters and special effects are all masterful and don’t age a bit in the 36 years since its release.
We went and saw Men and, for most men it will be a similar viewing experience to staring into a mirror for an hour and a half.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/HKJ4Thgk1Js
Synopsis
Men is a movie about a woman named Harper (Jessie Buckley), because of course you can’t have men without women – or can you?
Harper has recently lost her husband to a fit of passion that looks an awful lot like a spiteful suicide on his part. She has decided to take a vacation in the countryside to get her wits about herself and is met by a bunch of MEN.
These MEN range from pleasantly goofy to downright terrifying. One through line with all the MEN she encounters is that they are all somewhat simple, aloof, or pleasantly dimwitted. There is one exception to that rule in the priest.
As her stay in the countryside progresses she is visited by a spectre of manhood, and her experiences become increasingly more surreal and alarming. She calls the police to help her, but the police department is full of MEN.
As things spiral out of control, the audience is given a barrage of horrendous body horror that is clearly meant to depict the female/male dichotomy in the most unpleasant ways imaginable.
Harper definitely gets more MEN than she bargained for.
Review
Men is an interesting movie and the third full length feature film that writer, director Alex Garland has made. Because it was made by a man, I feel comfortable saying that its pretty accurate. Although, it’s somewhat problematic that Garland assumes to know what the female perspective is, which could be said to be his inherent male privilege shining through.
Men is an attempt to satirize males and give the audience a reference point for what it might be like living as a woman. It takes symbolism to the next level by starting as a straight ahead narrative story that slowly morphs into a nightmare of dreamlike sequences that can’t possibly be real.
It shares a lot in common with the recent Finish movie Hatching (Pahanhautoja) in that it is an allegory that will probably be the hardest to watch for those who would most benefit from it. There are undeniable truths within the subtle feelings provided by Men that are so on-the-nose that they can’t be summed up in words.
Watch Men
Buy or Rent on Amazon
Click here to Watch
Many will take issue with this movie for a variety of reasons, but the only issue I have with it is the title. By titling this movie “Men” it betrays a bias, and others those who would benefit the most from watching it. “Toxic masculinity” as a label would probably be a much more effective term that everyone was able to agree on if it weren’t othering males and was instead just referred to as “Toxicity”.
Perhaps the best way to heal divisions and painful histories is to work together to end the trend of “othering” those who have wronged us, and try our best to forgive, while acknowledging our differences.
This movie does that – it acknowledges the differences between men and women while pointing out the issues that many men have.
The title was chosen to be divisive, and take advantage of the angst present between men and women, which is ironic because the content of the movie does a decent job of being fair to men and women alike.
It’s a well-done movie, if very slow in some parts.
People who will enjoy Men might include:
Women
Open-minded men
Body horror fans
Psychological horror fans
Thriller fans
People who probably won’t enjoy Men might include:
Toxic people
Many men
Those who don’t do well with gore and body horror
Score
8/10
Patreon Exclusive Preview: Pretentious Review of Cat People (1942)
May 23, 2022
Synopsis
An American man marries a Serbian immigrant who fears that she will turn into the cat person of her homeland’s fables if they are intimate together.
Review of Cat People (1942)
Like most movies from the 40s, there is a lot of things you have to get used to stylistically before you can see through the time period and production quality to get to the value of the film. A few films stand out as familiar because they figured out a lot of movie making tricks that survive till today. Cat People is one of them, especially for the horror genre. Cat people is notable because it is the first to use the jump scare. It was created at a time when RKO was struggling financially, and was looking to make a quick buck off of the Universal horror recipe. Low budget monster movies with high returns.
Cat People was made from a shoestring budget of $134,000 which would be about 2.5 million today. It made back (by some estimates) 30x.
It’s vague in all the right places and has a very spare and lightning fast script. Again, if you can look past the time period, or at least appreciate it in context, this is a really good and thought provoking movie.
Firestarter (2022) Review
May 18, 2022
Just like prodigy sang: I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter; You’re a firestarter, twisted firestarter. This Blumhouse remake of the 80s classic is more twisted, but is it worth a watch? Listen to our review to find out.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram
Synopsis
Firestarter is the second adaptation to Stephen King’s 8th novel. It tells the story of a young girl Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) trying to control her supernatural power to set things on fire with her mind. After an accident in school, she finds herself on the run from the law and a mysterious government agency with her psychic father (Zac Efron). The government agency sends a telepathic native american assassin named Rainbird to track down Charlie and return her for testing.
In the end, everyone gets more fire than they bargained for.
https://youtu.be/59MJfJPP5eo
Review of Firestarter (2022)
This was an ok movie. I don’t know if anyone was clamoring for a remake of the 1984 Drew Barrymore film, but here it is. It is very quickly paced, and it gets off to a quick start, but it suffers from a lack of character development early on. The supernatural elements are handled very matter of factly and almost seems too common in the world for it to be surprising to anyone.
Where the film really shines (no pun intended) is when things get set on fire by Charlie. It’s unavoidable that you are going to have a good time watching her on a rampage at the end of the film.
Firestarter (2022) Poster
I wasn’t blown away by it (no pun intended), and it does seem like an unnecessary remake/adaptation, but Blumhouse has found a market for remakes that no one is asking for, and it’s going to serve it god damn it. I was pretty bored with the first two acts. The problem with presenting the problem and immediately starting the action in the beginning is that the film ends up basically being the same thing for most of the movie. Some more character development around Charlie, her father, Rainbird, and even the government agency would have made it more engaging and established better stakes.
It has some fun moments and is worth a watch with friends, but I wouldn’t rush to the theater for it.
Score
5/10
The Sadness (2021) Review
May 11, 2022
We watched The Sadness before it was available for streaming in the US because we are a big time movie review podcast. I can easily say that this is one of the craziest movies I’ve ever seen, and will stick with me for a long time.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website
https://youtu.be/VUR1DWh7eLs
Synopsis
The Sadness follows boyfriend Jim (Berant Zhu) and girlfriend Kat (Regina Lei) on their normal day in Taiwan. Unfortunately for our couple, this normal day is the day that the Alvin virus hits their city.
The Alvin virus is a pandemic that they’ve been hearing about for a while but no one seems to be taking seriously.
As the virus hits their hometown, people start to die, and worse, rape each other in the streets.
The virus causes people to cry as they assault each other while simultaneously exhibiting total ecstasy in causing pain and torture.
It seems to unlock the most reprehensible parts of people and make them capable of depravity you’ve never even seen in horror movies.
Will Jim and Kat make it through, or will the sadness take them?
Review
Canadian writer, director Rob Jabbaz brought this manga adaptation of Crossed(Garth Ennis and Alan Moore)to Taiwan to film. This is his first full-length feature film.
Without question, this is one of the most depraved movies I’ve ever seen in terms of dialog. The violence is absolutely absurd and over-the-top. The themes are disgusting, and are meant to cast a light on the absurdities of politicizing a major health concern such as a pandemic.
I heard a little bit about The Sadness before I watched it, enough to brace myself, which was good because I don’t think I would have enjoyed it otherwise.
The makeup, effects, and execution is unbelievable, rivaling that of similar splatter movies like Braindead / Dead Alive.
This is a slick movie that is well made, and outpaces most action movies handily. It’s also so absurdly disgusting that I imagine many won’t be able to finish it.
It takes the old premise of zombies and the morality tales that they brought to the silver screen and pops a monster truck engine under the hood before sending you to hell with tears streaming from your eyes.
The Sadness is super gross, but it does have something of a point, which seems to make it easier to take in.
The non-stop themes of rape, murder, and stupendously disgusting dialog where characters describe in vivid detail the acts of violent sodomy they wish to perform made me so happy that this wasn’t in English. Had I heard those words spoken in a language that I understood, I would have been sickened to my core.
The only movie that I’ve reviewed that left me feeling almost as gross as this was The House that Jack Built.
Not many will be able to get through this one and those who do will have to live with all those nasty thoughts in their head.
Score
8/10
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Hatching (Pahanhautoja) Review
May 04, 2022
Don’t let the subtitles turn you off. This is one of the best theatrical horror movie releases of the year. The Hatching will stay with you, especially if you were raised by a narcissist.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram
Synopsis
Finnish freshman director Hanna Bergholm heads this chilling talk of Tinja, a 12 year old gymnast and her toxic relationship with a giant bird person and her mother. What begins as a simple tale of hatching a mystical growing forest egg, twists into a disturbing metaphor for the traumatic metamorphosis caused by being raised by a Finnish Laura Dern.
https://youtu.be/VtRNqe78x4o
Review of Hatching (Pahanhautoja)
I really liked this film. I went in with low expectations. The trailer featured some really corny acting, and set it up as a pretty arbitrary story of raising a monster. But it really delivers on an emotional and visceral level.
You really have sympathy and pity on little Tinja as she desperately tries to makes sense of and manage forces way beyond her control.
The themes throughout are vague enough to be interesting, but explicit enough to draw some connections. Toxic relationships, narcissism, puberty, eating disorders, and hidden lives are all themes that are explored pretty adeptly in a tight 1:27 runtime.
The writing is really good, and develops the characters very well. Some of the lines are a little on the nose, but they are still believable in the context of a family that desperately is putting up the perfect façade under the command of a raging narcissist mother.
We watched The Wailing on Shudder.com and found out just how badly a well meaning dad can fuck up his entire family. A lesson I learned long ago.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/43uAputjI4k
Synopsis
Jong-goo (Kwak Do-won) is a local policeman and caring father to Hyo-jin (Hwan-hee Kim), the precocious young daughter. A stranger enters their village and immediately things start to go awry.
Families are found horrifically murdered, and people in the village seem to be changing.
A Japanese man who lives in the forest is fingered as the culprit, but what is really going on?
As Hyo-jin gets sick, father Jong-goo takes it on himself to solve the mystery surrounding what exactly is happening to their village.
Review
The Wailing was directed and written by Na Hong-jin and many have called it one of the most impressive horror movies of the last 20 years.
I would call The Wailing the Indiana Jones of horror movies. It’s constantly throwing new stuff your way. It’s hard to know what’s around the next bend, but you can bet that it will be exciting, terrifying, or totally shocking.
More than that, it’s an engaging labyrinth of a story that answers questions only to reveal more questions.
Those who want an ending that’s easy to understand may want to steer clear of The Wailing, but to be honest it’s pretty fun to guess at what it all means.
Personally, this movie has been hyped for so long by so many that I came away a bit underwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine movie that’s pretty interesting and it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat.
I just expected something so much more scary than this due to everyone’s reaction to it and there’s just no way it could deliver.
There’s also something of a cultural rift that I feel in The Wailing more so than in other foreign films. I felt like there was tons of subtext and meaning that I was missing due to my inherent Western upbringings.
Score
8/10
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Paranormal Activity Review
Apr 20, 2022
The movie that launched a thousand stationary camcorders. Paranormal Activity cracked the code of found footage to make one of the most successful horror movies of all time. Listen to our review and see if it still holds up.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel00 on instagram
Synopsis
Paranormal Activity follows Katie and Micah, young twenty-somethings that are steady dating and living with each other. Told through the lens of Micah’s new camera equipment, we learn that he is attempting to document PARANORMAL ACTIVITY that Katie purports to be happening in their suburban house.
We learn that this is not the first time Katie has been haunted, and we watch as Micah attempts to use his powers of toxic masculinity to solve the problem.
https://youtu.be/5od3NGHrXrI
Review of Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity was not the first found footage movie, but it was the first one to really crack the code for what makes that gimmick work. It remains the most profitable horror movie based on return on investment. With a budget of 450,000, it raked in nearly 90 million. Not that that speaks to the film itself, but it definitely speaks to popularity and marketability.
It’s interesting to come back to the original since the series has expanded in scope and lore. This is a simple movie, that mostly documents the happenings in a single bedroom.
It strikes a chord, because katie and micah’s relationship feels real enough to engage with the story. The viewer is drawn in to try and catch the signs of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY through the nightly static camera shots of a doorway. Sound boring? Well did I tell you it had (LOW RUMBLE)?
For what it is, and me growing up with sightings, before every douchebag had a ghost hunting tv show, this tapped into the suspension of disbelief around “real hauntings”. There aren’t really ghosts reaching through tvs stealing children, but do you know what there is? Ghosts knocking things off of shelves like housecats.
I love this film and several of its sequels before it totally got fucked out. I think it still works, although it’s not one you can revisit often, or see in a marathon.
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Willow Creek Review
Apr 13, 2022
We saw Willow Creek on Vudu and it was everything that I remember about talking to Bigfoot believers.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/wJ5GEkHsnrs
Synopsis
Willow Creek is a found footage film focused on bigfoot enthusiast and documentarian Jim (Bryce Johnson) and his girlfriend Kelly (Alexie Gilmore).
Jim and Kelly are visiting Willow Creek, and the site of the original bigfoot footage shoot, the Patterson-Gimlin film shoot.
Jim has been a passionate Bigfoot believer his whole life and is super-excited to make this documentary that allows him to pay homage to the epicenter of his obsession.
Kelly is not as crazy about the idea, but she is very supportive of his effort and holds the camera a lot of the time.
While Jim interviews locals about the legend, we learn a few things about the mystery of bigfoot before the couple take the plunge into the forest primeval and get more bigfeet than they bargained for.
Review
Willow Creek is a remarkably simple film that capitalizes on everyone’s fear of the woods at night.
It’s not the best found footage camping film (Blair Witch), but it’s so sparse and short that I really can’t hate it.
The direction by Bobcat Goldthwait is simple and unobtrusive, but it makes sure to pay homage to all the tropes that you might expect it to.
Willow Creek knows it’s lane, which is cheap, barebones, short, and mostly improvised. As long as you go into it with that in mind, it probably won’t offend your sensibilities.
If you are a person who is terrified of the woods at night, this is a fabulous way to scare yourself silly, or you could also try the slightly better version of this, Backcountry.
One of the most questionable choices in Willow Creek is the decision to make the whole movie rest on a 25 minute long single shot toward the end of the movie. Your enjoyment of the entire movie will hinge on how this shot strikes you, and strangely it worked better on me on my second viewing.
Overall Willow Creek is a fun found footage movie with a nice mix of subtle comedy and spooky moments.
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The Possession of Hannah Grace Review
Apr 06, 2022
The Possession of Hannah Grace does the smart move and doesn’t make itself a carbon copy of all The Exorcist copycats. This is an interesting twist on the demon possession sub genre and is well crafted enough to overcome its repetitiveness.
Art by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel0 on insta
Synopsis
The possession of Hannah Grace is not like other possession movies. If you are expecting an exorcism in the denouement, you will be surprised that it’s the opening scene, and it results in the death of the titular character. The best way to describe this movie is that it’s like the demon version of Weekend at Bernie’s.
The protagonist of the film, Megan Reed (played by Shay Mitchell) is a recovering alcoholic and pill popper that takes a new job as the intake assistant at a hospital morgue during the GRAVEYARD shift. Hannah Grace’s body is delivered to the morgue on her first night on the job and as the night progresses, stranger and stranger things start happening. By the time that Megan realizes there is something fishy about Hannah, the demon has gained enough power to start killing a lot of people.
https://youtu.be/RHAgri92JP8
Review of The Possession of Hannah Grace
There are a lot of things that are good about The Possession of Hannah Grace. First of all, it completely subverts the expectations of a possession film, by not focusing on the lead up to an exorcism.
The writing is surprisingly competent given that it was written by a writer from Teen Wolf. I really liked how they handled exposition in the beginning and set up all the rules for a normal night at the morgue.
There were some really effective jump scares especially from the ginger night security guard.
Kirby Johnson who plays Hannah gives a great performance as a contortionist.
The the biggest downfall of the film is that it gets really repetitive at the end. All the deaths are essentially the same, so I wish they had some more creativity around that, but they were effective in showing the hopelessness of the situation.
Megan’s character has an arc, but it seems a little paint by numbers and doesn’t establish very strong stakes for the story. I guess we are worried that she’ll die? Do we care if she relapses? She’s more there to be a witness than anything.
Overall it was a pretty good film. I feel a little bad that we let it slip by when it was a new release
We watched Puppet Master on Tubi and were reminded of a simpler time, a time when puppets rules the earth and we were helpless to prevent their tyrannical rule.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/KK3NYrORvdk
Synopsis
Puppet Master is the “story” of Andre Toulon, a master of puppets who has found an ancient egyptian method of imbuing puppets with life.
He killed himself long ago and now he’s back?
But he’s a different guy now, and his psychic friends must suffer because they are psychic.
Everyone gets more Full Moon Features than they bargained for.
Review
Historical Significance
Puppet Master (1989) spawned a massive, 14 movie series of sequels and spinoffs. It was written by Charles Band who we interviewed a few months ago in our Gingerdead Man Review.
It’s a typical exploitation movie by Full Moon Productions, cashing in on the recent success of creepy little things movies like Gremlins, Child’s Play, and Dolls. For some reason that I can’t quite work out, Puppet Master struck a cord with general audiences and became a straight to video hit.
With a budget of $400,000 it went on to make many millions, and surpassed many theatrical releases of the time in terms of profitability by a wide margin.
The movie itself is profoundly flawed. I found it extremely boring and confusing. There is not a lot here in terms of redeeming value, other than the circus of zany sequels that it spawned.
Most of my criticisms can be boiled down to the phrase, “it’s the best that Full Moon has to offer.” which is the truth. It’s wacky, stupid, and has a mildly interesting baddie.
I think the principle sin that Puppet Master commits is that it takes itself too seriously. The dialog and story make very little sense, but they keep at it. When the script falters and becomes boring, they keep shoving it down your throat. But really, it’s your fault for expecting anything from a straight to video movie called Puppet Master.
Although I’ve only seen one other Puppet Master movie, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, I would recommend it much more enthusiastically than I would the original. The Littlest Reich understands what it is and embraces it while the original gropes around aimlessly to try and find something entertaining to show you.
Score
2/10
X Review
Mar 23, 2022
Is X going to give it to you? Yes, indubitably, X is going to give it to you.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel on Insta
Synopsis
In the Halcyon days of mid-coke, pre-aids 1979, a fledgling porn production crew sets off to Rural Texas to try and film the next mainstream breakout porno, ala Debbie Does Dallas. They find an old farm house to rent from an elderly couple and try to hide the production from the conservative and suspicious owners. They are eventually discovered by Pearl, the elderly farmer’s wife, and she takes a cotton to Mia Goth’s Maxine. Soon, the porno people find themselves in danger and fight for their lives to escape a possible Texas pitchfork massacre.
https://youtu.be/Awg3cWuHfoc
Review of X (2022)
If you are wondering what a straight ahead A24 slasher looks like, here it is. It has the gore and body count of a slasher, and the artsy fartsy shot composition and character focus of an A24 film. Is this an “elevated slasher”? Not quite, but it does put in more effort towards character development and theme exploration than any Friday the 13th film.
The film explores the themes of youth and ambition as well as the inverse of old age and lost opportunities. A touch of religious judgment is sprinkled in there in the form of a TV preacher, but that is really to flavor the setting, and not integral to the story.
I really liked this film, and was fully engaged throughout. It doesn’t go too far into A24 avant garde territory, but references it in an almost tongue in cheek way that is entertaining. To say that this is “more than a slasher” is probably giving it more credit than it deserves, but there are some great scenes that build tension and dread that don’t necessarily fit in the regular slasher cliches.
If you are wondering if there is nudity, X gon’ give it to ya. Tits, side boob, and dick silhouette galore in this film. Putting X up against recent slashers such as Scream 2022, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 and Studio 666, it makes them look like prudes.
We went and saw Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil and it reminded me how stupid college kids are.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/l1t8OZn_uhE
Synopsis
Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are headed into the woods to fix up Tucker’s new vacation cabin. It’s going to be a weekend of fishing, fixing, and getting fucked up. A couple of guys, alone in the woods.
Nearby this cabin, a plethora of college kids are camping and partying it up. They meet the silly duo of Tucker and Dale and immediately are spooked by their hillbillyishness.
Things come to a head one night when the college kids decide to go skinnydipping in the same lake that Tucker and Dale are night fishing.
An angelic girl named Allison (Katrina Bowden) falls off a rock and hits her head, and our goofy duo go to save her. As they do, they shout to the other college kids that “We’ve got your friend!” and that sets in motion the zaniest misunderstanding you’ve seen all summer long!
Everyone gets more don’t judge a book by it’s cover than they bargained for.
Review
Directed by Eli Craig, Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil was released in 2010 to only 33 theaters and eventually was shown in 44 theaters. Despite this limited theatrical release, when it was released on Netflix, it was met with universal enjoyment.
Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is a movie that takes the common horror movie structure of partying kids in the woods and inverts the classic protagonist/antagonist relationship. This inversion was a pretty unique thing even in the somewhat oversaturated world of meta-horror. It was a new brand of winking at the audience, one where the audience feels empathy for both the good guy and the bad guy.
Horrible things happen in this movie, but the only thing to blame is a breakdown in communication between the two groups, or an othering of the hillbillies by the college kids
The dry wit and laugh out loud moments in this movie are a ton of fun and often the result of totally shocking and unexpected misunderstandings or accidents. The characters are completely wonderful and easy to fall in love with.
The problem with Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is because the whole premise is based on a misunderstanding, they had to manufacture an antagonist and that feels a little goofy. Chad (Jesse Moss) is as one dimensional a character as they come, and his motives aren’t interesting or fun. To me, this leaves the movie feeling a bit hollow in the third act. It meanders around a bad guy fight that we don’t care about and leaves me wishing we had just ended with a nice therapy session in act two.
The ending leaves a lot to be desired, but the impact that this movie has had on general audiences can’t be overstated. It’s enjoyed by horror fans for it’s interesting take on an old premise, and it seems to be the logical predecessor to the more impressive movie that does the same thing but with less comedy and more scares, The Cabin in the Woods, which came out the following year, 2011.
This is a different and more sophisticated kind of fun than Gremlins 2 is but the result is the same
Score
7/10
Studio 666 Review
Mar 09, 2022
Ever want to see the Foo Fighters in a horror movie? To bad you’re getting one anyway.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel @dgoebel on Insta
Synopsis
Studio 666, starring the Foo Fighters, tells the story of the band recording it’s 10th album in a haunted mansion. Decades earlier the mansion was the site of an infamous rock band murder suicide. Sloooooooowly as the plot unfolds, it’s revealed that there is a connection to a more sinister influence and Dave Grohl becomes the pawn in a demon’s attempt at opening a portal to hell.
https://youtu.be/UEDkqOBhPis
Review of Studio 666
This is what you get if you combine A Hard Days Night with a Charles Band movie and give it more budget than it deserves.
In terms of movie making craft, this is a pretty shitty movie. The pacing is awful. The 1:50 run time could have been cut down to 70 minutes and lose absolutely nothing. The direction is extremely flat. I’ve seen industrial safety education videos with more creativity.
If you are looking for gore, it is here, and there are some genuinely cool death scenes, but you’re going to have to wait for about an hour and 30 minutes for the actual horror part of the horror movie to start.
It’s not all bad. In fact this is a very fun movie with a lot of moments that I really liked. I mentioned The Beatles A Hard Days Night, because I do think it’s an apt comparison. In both movies, they are really carried by the charm and humor of the band itself. These are not professional actors, but their goofy hammy acting is endearing and fun to watch.
Is this a movie that you should rush to see in theaters? No, definitely not. But if you want to watch an oddity and have a few laughs, you could do worse than Studio 666.
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Review
Mar 02, 2022
We watched the wildly popular and controversial new film on Netflix, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and were shocked by the amount of home renovation involved in this iteration of the classic slasher franchise.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/zcI6SFiK_yk
Synopsis
A group of fresh young social media influencers flood into a mostly abandoned Texas town to help revitalize the community and auction off the town.
They are intent on building a new politically correct community in the heart of what was once the “deep south” with all the fixin’s of culture that entails.
They end up finding one of the buildings, which is an old orphanage, still inhabited by an old lady and her gigantic, mute son. The influencers have the old lady kicked out and she dies as a result.
Everyone gets way more Leatherface than they bargained for.
It’s hard to say what’s the right way to reboot a classic slasher. Some people will be so excited to get some great new content that they will overlook any flaw. Others will be so upset that their hallowed ground franchise was upset by a newcomer that they will hate it no matter what it does.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and it’s resulting franchise have been through some incredible ups and downs when compared to other slasher franchises. The depths of cheesy cash grabs are right alongside some of the most revered sequels and reboots ever made in slasher history.
This entry comes close to the brutality and disgusting, sweaty feeling atmosphere that the original gave us. While there is plenty of nitpicking that can and will be done by slasher fans, I think that this is as admirable an entry into the genre as either the new Halloween (2018) or Halloween Kills movies.
It’s gross, hard to watch in parts, extremely gorey, and I didn’t care about any of the characters – meaning it literally checks every single box needed to be a “passable slasher”.
Do I love it to death? No. Would I point a slasher fan at it? Yep. It’s brutal, hopeless, and totally depraved. To be honest though, I was hoping it would go even more violent and terrible than it did, and I don’t know what that says about me.
Score
7/10
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Drag Me To Hell Review
Feb 23, 2022
Drag Me To Hell brings Sam Raimi back to what he does best. Over the top, tongue in cheek horror. If you haven’t seen this one, you should.
Synopsis
Drag Me To Hell, Directed by Sami Raimi, and starring Alison Lohman and the Mac guy, follows Christine Brown as she suffers the consequences of a Gypsy curse. She is cursed because she denies an old creepy woman a bank loan. Through the curse, she is tormented by an evil demon for three days and is told if the curse does not break, she will be dragged to hell to live all eternity with Hitler and unbaptised dead babies.
The moral to the story is give creepy old ladies what they want.
https://youtu.be/PPOaxHqoYxo
Review of Drag Me To Hell
This movie is PG-13 and you will be so distracted by your disgust to even notice that no one says fuck. I think this is the best pg-13 horror movie ever made.
Sam Raimi’s kinetic and unhinged directing style throttles you through the plot with very little fluff.
This film really hits the sweet spot for me. The characters are fleshed out, The special effects are viscerally over the top, and there is a subtle ribbon of humor strung throughout.
Overall it’s a very fun film to watch. The dramatic irony, the well timed callbacks, and undercurrent of campy energy kept me engaged throughout.
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13 Ghosts Review
Feb 16, 2022
We watched 13 Ghosts on HBOMAX and it was exactly what I thought it would be, which is Ghost Ship meets Event Horizon with a side order of Wrong Turn.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/n1yZl9HVLd0
Synopsis
13 Ghosts is a movie about a ghost collector who leaves his massive house to his distant relative family, who think they are getting a sweet deal.
What they end up getting is royally fucked by a house that is full of a bunch of ghosts.
The house is made to trap them and do some sick twisted stuff, but luckily Matthew Lillard is here to shed some light on this quandary. Matthew explains that he is a ghost feeler, and regularly touches ghosts. He helped their uncle collect all these ghosts, and he feels bad or something and wants to help them.
The house has other plans and wacky hijinks ensue.
Review
13 Ghosts is no doubt remembered fondly by a bunch of old zoomers and young millennials who were impressionable whilst watching this but let me assure you, it’s fucked.
This was directed by Steve Beck, who directed Ghost Ship in 2002, one year after this film. Interestingly, before directing 13 Ghosts, Steve had only directed commercials, and after he directed Ghost Ship which is basically a reskinning of 13 Ghosts he never directed again. This is a good thing.
13 Ghosts is jumpcuts and loud noises mixed with edgy, barely explained lore mixed with dog shit. All of this could be excusable if it was fun or interesting or funny, but it’s none of those things.
It takes a 42 million dollar budget and wastes it on the dumbest set-pieces you can possibly imagine. As a result, it feels expensive but not in a good way – in an animal print on furniture way.
The acting is hammy, the actors are bad, the premise is shockingly thin, and the scares are undermined by jump cuts and ghost vision glasses.
I’m sorry if you love 13 Ghosts but everyone has different tastes, and this just is not for me. If you love this, please keep loving it.
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The Silence of the Lambs Review
Feb 09, 2022
The Silence of the Lambs is known and memed today, over 30 years after it’s release. There is a reason for that, it’s one of the best movies ever made.
Synopsis
The Silence of the Lambs stars Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling, an FBI trainee tasked with interviewing a psychopathic serial killer and psychologist Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) to try to elicit his help in finding a serial killer at large named Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine). Clarice is warned about Hannibal and is told to not disclose any personal information, but as Hannibal’s position of power becomes plain, Clarice finds herself stepping over the line to extract more information from him.
https://youtu.be/W6Mm8Sbe__o
Review of The Silence of the Lambs
This film is one of those that you can come back to year after year and appreciate something new. It’s perfectly cast, and the performances are all fantastic. This film served to launch Anthony Hopkins into A-list Hollywood status, and his portrayal of Hannibal Lecter stands as one of the best onscreen villains of all time. Jodie Foster’s excellent portrayal of Clarice communicates her determination, intelligence, and weakness as a character. Levine’s Buffalo Bill has very little screen time, but is a truly menacing character that establishes the stakes of the film.
Director Jonathan Demme created a truly artful film that stands apart from all the other films in the “Thriller” genre. The extreme closeups and leering gazes create an uncomfortable intimacy that puts you in the shoes of the protagonist. The script and the direction are so efficient in moving the complicated story and character arcs along, that there is rarely a dull moment.
This film is probably the best example of the crossover between the Drama/Thriller genre and the Horror genre. The scenes with Buffalo Bill are viscerally horrific, but the psychological horror of Lecter’s interrogations of Clarice are just as disturbing.
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Scream (2022) Review
Feb 02, 2022
We went and saw Scream and it was pretty much exactly what I figured it would be.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/-TfkyBWEoWY
Synopsis
Scream is a story about a movie about a movie. A young girl get’s called on the phone and brutally attacked by a masked murderer known as Ghostface. As the teen and her friends try to figure out who would perpetuate this crime, other victims begin to die.
Suddenly everyone is a suspect. Fortunately we have a couple of horror movie experts who managed to surmise that this is similar to a horror movie known as Stab.
If you know how slasher movies work, you may be able to stay alive.
If any of this sounds familiar, it’s because Scream painted itself into a corner with the first movie and has been digging away at hallowed ground ever since.
Meta horror has been the thing everyone does for nearly 30 years now, and if Scream doesn’t do it, it’s basically sacreligious.
Scream isn’t going to blow your mind. It sticks to the exact same format and rules of all the previous movies. In fact, it’s pretty much devolved fully into Clue at this point. Characters are all constantly pointing at eachother and asking, “Are you the killer?” the same way tweens do as they exit the movie theater.
There are tons of callbacks and easter eggs to keep fans coming back to catch every last morsel of slasher goodness.
I’d even say that this has some of the most clever meta commentary zingers placed in the script since the originalScream.
It’s a fine movie, and pretty violent, although the violence in Halloween (2018) and especially Halloween Kills puts this in the kiddy pool in that regard.
I guess I’m just a little tired of the same old story told with a wink and a nod by some gen Z kids, no matter how much they are asking for it.
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Hostel Review
Jan 26, 2022
This hostel is so… hostile! This week we review Hostel, Eli Roth’s torture-porn masterpiece.
Synopsis
College school student Josh is a good student and nice guy – albeit a little predictable. He is unceremoniously dumped by his whorish girlfriend. Among the people he turns to in his hour of despair is his Icelandic pal, Oli and American buddy Paxton. Josh, impulsively for a change, decides to backpack through Europe with his friends. As the four try to make their way to Bratislava, they run into a few obstacles and few adventures.
The previous description was based off a synopsis of Eurotrip (2004)
This movie along with the previous year’s Saw, ushered in a renaissance of torture porn horror movies that dominated the mid 2000’s and 20teens.
https://youtu.be/4d5_lrn9v-g
Review of Hostel
While there is a lot of just awful and cliche prone movies that came after, Hostel stands as a unique premise and genre mixing film that still holds up today. This is a slow burn horror movie that doesn’t put all it’s cards on the table till halfway into the film. It feels like a buddy road trip comedy for the entire first half, and then abruptly goes into brutal and graphic gore in the last half.
It’s definitely exploitative. From the generous heaping of bare tits, to the sinkfuls of mangled limbs, it’s not purporting to be high art. However, in this lane of horror films, it does take extra care into providing a framework for these exploitative elements to exist believably.
I love this movie, because it goes all the way with every idea it approaches. Seeing this as a young single male is probably the best way to view it, because it really preys on your basest desires and fears.
A nurse, policeman, young married couple, and a salesman walks into a mall…
Following the downfall of humanity, they do their best to survive and return to some form of normalcy while in the mall, but are constantly reminded of the scourge just outside the mall entrance – teenagers! Er, I mean zombies!
At first a gang of angry mall cops subdue our group, but eventually good triumphs over mall cops, and the cinnabon is opened for freeloaders.
The gang befriends a gun store owner across the street named Andy, and eventually a van full of new survivors shows up, which complicates things.
In the end everyone gets more Zombeaversthan they bargained for.
Review
If you have seen the original Dawn of the Dead you would rightly ask, “why would you need to remake this masterpiece?” But, if you’ve seen the 2004 remake directed by Zack Snyder and written by James Gunn and George A. Romero, you will definitely understand that it’s not always a bad thing to remake classics.
This isn’t just a sprucing up of the original, it’s got a huge budget ($26m), tons of clout, and a way tighter script than the original. It’s like Romero wanted to do it again, but with hindsight being 20/20, and boy does it work.
You’ve got the same message, with an updated veneer and way edgier content. Not only that, these zombies run!
The action in this one feels way more tense, and the stakes feel a lot higher too.
As with many Snyder movies, this one has a goofy filter on it, but it’s much less abrasive than some of his other efforts.
This may be one of the best zombie movies ever made, and I think that has a lot to do with all these spectacularly talented people that come together on this Dawn of the Dead. The cast, the direction, the writing they are all proven talent, and the end result is pretty great.
Score
10/10
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The Babadook Review
Jan 12, 2022
Babadook…dook…dook!
Artwork by Dustin Goebel (follow @dgoebel00 on instagram)
Synopsis
The Babadook is writer/director Jennifer Kent’s film debut, and she comes out of the gate strong. The film is about a single mother Amelia Vanek (Essie Davis) and her 6 year old son Samuel (Noah Wiseman) struggling with grief, childhood, parenthood, and the supernatural.
Samuel, who is obsessed and terrified by monsters, discovers an odd children’s book in their house. The book, titled Mister Babadook is a popup book that contains strikingly scary illustrations and tells the story about a being that arrives after knocking thrice, and haunts people until they wish they were dead.
As Amelia tries to reassure her son that the Babadook isn’t real, she begins living out the experience described in the book. The more she tries to explain the coincidences away, the more powerful and undeniable her experiences become.
https://youtu.be/k5WQZzDRVtw
Review of The Babadook
I love everything about The Babadook. For me, it stands as one of the three pillars of “elevated horror” of the last decade. The other two being The Witch and Hereditary. All three are from freshman feature film writer/directors.
This film is an obvious homage to the German expressionist silent films of the 20s that established the earliest foundations of the horror film genre. It is also a deeply modern exploration of grief, the stresses of parenthood, and mental health crises.
Kent adeptly interweaves all of these themes in a way that makes you question whether Amelia is actually experiencing a haunting, a psychotic break, or both.
There aren’t any cheap shots pulled. The relationships and emotions portrayed in the movie feel real and well worn. The characters are easy for the audience to empathize with and care about. When The Babadook attacks this poor family, it feels like there are real stakes.
The dread and suspense is well developed and steadily delivered over the hour and a half run time. Even after the ending, you are left with a sense of unsureness about whether or not what happened was real or imagined. It works on a lot of different levels for me and I’m excited to talk about it. This is one that I feel is as near to perfection as I can expect a horror film to be.
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Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2021: The Talkies
Jan 05, 2022
This week we are having a different kind of show. This show we are looking back at the delightsome year that was 2021, and awarding the best and worst of Horror Movie Talk.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Best new drop
Ew David
MacGruber
Goat Boy (LAmb)
Cows don’t look like cows (H4)
Ouja Board (Paranormal Activity 3)
Best Guest
David’s Mom (The Bad Seed)
Bryce’s Mom (The Bad Seed)
Baby-face Billy (Old)
Bug-Z (H4)
Justin (The Thing)
Kate (10 Cloverfield Lane)
Emma (Anna and the apocalypse)
Caspar (Creep)
Worst Movie We Watched this year
The Number 23
The Gingerdead Man
Leprechaun in the Hood Review
Pieces Review
The Forever Purge
Malignant
Best Movie We Watched this year
Jaws Review
The Thing Review
Creep (2014)
The Night House
The Mist
Worst New Movie of 2020
The Forever Purge
Malignant
The Unholy
Spiral (2021) Review
Don’t Breathe 2
Halloween Kills
Best New Movie of 2020
The Night House
Lamb
Saint Maud Review
In the Earth Review
Antlers
A Quiet Place Part 2 Review
Last Night in Soho
Perfect 10s
Jaws Review
The Thing Review
Creep (2014)
The Night House
The Mist
Lowest Scored
The Number 23 (1.5)
The Gingerdead Man (1.5)
Leprechaun in the Hood Review (2.5)
Biggest Discrepancies in Scores
A Christmas Horror Story (D=2, B=8)
Don’t Breathe 2 (D=8 , B=3)
Anna and the Apocalypse (Emma-1, B=5)
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (D=6, B=10)
The Mist Review
Dec 29, 2021
Something in The Mist! This week our patrons picked The Mist for us to review. It was my first viewing, and even having had the ending spoiled, this one still holds up after over a decade.
Artwork by Dustin Goebel (follow @dgoebel00 on instagram)
Synopsis
Thomas Jane plays husband and father MISTer David Drayton, who after a storm, heads into town for supplies to repair damages to his house. He takes his son and his neighbor along with him, and soon they are trapped in the grocery store by a MYSTerious mist that contains untold terrors.
https://youtu.be/LhCKXJNGzN8
Many of the townsfolk don’t heed warnings and mistakenly decide to venture out. The remaining occupants increasingly mistreat each other and the social order begins to break down. When one religious fanatic begins to mistteach others that this is all caused by an angry god, many make the misstep to become followers.
This film has one of the most shocking endings in horror, sure to leave you … Misty-eyed.
Review of The Mist
This was my first viewing of The Mist, and I wish that I could have gone in completely blind, but 14 years is a long time to expect an ending not to be spoiled.
Even knowing the ending, I was pleasantly surprised by how engaging the film was from the outset.
Frank Darabont, the director, wastes no time in establishing strong characters and relationships that are familiar and believable.
This is a pretty simple concept for such a long movie, but it is highly engaging because there are several times where the story shifts gears and presents new problems other than “don’t go outside”.
There is the obvious threat of what lies in the mist, but the story delves into several different sources of dread, such as fear itself, superstition, mistrust, and helplessness. The zombie genre has evolved into a mechanism to hold a mirror up to society, and this movie does that, but with more interesting and mysterious monsters.
The special effects don’t quite hold up, but aren’t so bad as to distract from the high quality of the writing, directing, and acting.
I really enjoyed this film, and I think that it is not to be missed.
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The Last House on the Left Pretentious Sneak Peek
Dec 24, 2021
This was a really interesting movie that Bryce loved and David had strange feelings about.
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The Gingerdead Man Review and Interview with Charles Band
Dec 22, 2021
The Gingerdead Man is just one of Charles Band’s 69 directed films and 342 produced films. You’d be hard pressed to call The Gingerdead Man a good movie, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a real fun time. You get to enjoy Gary Busey’s unhinged performance and a hilarious gingerbread man puppet commit homicide. What’s not to love?
We also have the special treat to interview the legend himself, Charles Band, about his new memoire and about what it was like to work with Gary Busey (not great).
Synopsis
I think the best person to explain the Gingerdead Man is the director himself, Charles Band.
[The Gingerdead Man is a] tale of a deranged murderer who gets executed and is brought back to life when his witchy mother mails enchanted dough to a bakery where— —oh, you get it. A psychotic cookie comes to life and rampages. Okay?
Charles Band – Confessions of a Puppetmaster
Well I guess that’s close enough. In the spoilers section we’ll talk about how wrong that actually is.
https://youtu.be/mLFVY41RmtA
Review of The Gingerdead Man
The Gingerdead Man is representative of the highs and lows of exploitation horror films. If you’ve seen any Full Moon Feature, your expectations should be tempered, but if you are new to super low budget, straight to video horror films like this one, you might feel surprised at how shitty it is. If you are comparing it to anything that touches the theater, this movie is not going to compete on quality of writing, production quality, acting, directing, special effects, or anything related to the making of movies. However, what this movie and other Full Moon Features have is, every once in a while, there are some truly entertaining absurd, and even charming moments.
The Bad
Ok, so lets discuss the bad first. The writing and direction is borderline incomprehensible. Some of the very important plot points that seem like table stakes to show on camera, are just not there. It’s never quite explained that the killer’s mother exists other than being mentioned and seeing a witchy figure running away. We know that the mysterious figure dropped off gingerbread seasoning, and then we see them pouring in some gingerbread seasoning into a large container marked gingerbread seasoning and in the process bleed into it. By the ominous music, we are to understand that this is bad.
Now first of all, this displays a fundamental misunderstanding of how gingerbread dough is made, but also begs the question… what if the guy didn’t accidentally, and recklessness bleed into the dough?
The answer is, shut up, do you want to see a Gingerdead Man or not?
The acting quality varies wildly among the cast, which makes sense when you are only paying scale. There are some standouts, like Ryan Locke as Amos, which had some genuinely good delivery and timing on his lines, Larry Cedar as the nemesis restaurateur, and of course Gary Busey hamming it up. Unfortunately the film mostly dwells on the lead actress Robin Sydney, whos only direction was probably, “Be mopey”.
The Good
Now the good.
Gary Busey is great as the unhinged killer and as the voice of Gingerdead Man.
Any time the Gingerdead Man is on screen is gold. Like genuinely enjoyably absurd. There is something about an evil, gross, super fake looking, foam latex puppet delivering menacing dialogue that is really entertaining. Just imagine if Triumph the insult comic dog starred in a slasher. That’s what we’re working with here.
Overall, if you are looking for a low budget film to watch with friends to make fun of, this movie can be really enjoyable to experience.
Score
2/10
Confessions of a Puppetmaster
Read Charles Band’s amazing, inspirational, and hilarious memoir
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Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Review
Dec 15, 2021
We went and saw Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, the reboot to the Resident Evil series, and I was pleasantly surprised by the total lack of Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich.
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Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is the story of Raccoon City, a city built by the giant pharmaceutical megacorp, The Umbrella Corp.
For years Raccoon City has been home to The Umbrella Corp and now, Umbrella is leaving Raccoon City. This story takes place in a mostly deserted Raccoon City, where a skeleton crew has been left to pack up what’s left of the facility and anyone else in the city who was too poor to afford moving out.
We soon learn why The Umbrella Corp is moving out of Raccoon city, and everyone gets more vaccinated zombies than they bargained for.
Review
Having seen a few of the other Resident Evil movies, I was dreading this watch. While the original movie is fun enough for what it is, the rest of these movies are the definition of what has been wrong with Hollywood for the last 20 years.
Huge explosions with overcomplicated storylines that amount to the writers version of hacking a computer by violently mashing the keyboard incoherently.
But Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City reboots this series down to it’s barebones. This was directed by Johannes Roberts, who also did 47 Meters Down: Uncagedand 47 Meters Down and he did what video game lovers have asked countless directors to do for over 25 years – he made a direct video game to film adaptation of the first three resident evil games.
Is it the best thing I’ve ever seen? No. Is it fun with some genuinely spooky and disturbing moments? Yep!
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City takes a tired, fucked out franchise and returns it to it’s honest-to-God roots, and does it with some fun.
The first two acts are genuinely interesting and scary, and had me bought in. The last act devolves into stereotypical big monster battles and explosions, but even some of that was pretty fun.
Overall, this took the most disgustingly bad franchise I can think of and gave it a new lease on life. While it did lean heavily on the games for inspiration and iconic imagery, I think that’s a step in the right direction. Because what are we seeing a Resident Evil movie for if not to relive those moments in the games that made us gasp?
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) Commentary Track
Dec 14, 2021
As an early Christmas gift to our listeners, and thanks to everyone that got us to our goal of 100 patrons at Patreon.com/horrormovietalk, we are releasing our own commentary track for The Human Centipede.
Just fire up your copy of the movie and press play when we tell you in the audio track to follow along.
A Christmas Horror Story Review
Dec 08, 2021
Sometimes an anthology movie hits you just right. A Christmas Horror Story tells four tales of fright ranging from unnerving to dumb fun. It’s low budget, but enjoyable. Listen to our review.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
In the fictional town of Bailey Downs, where the war on Christmas is won, because no one knows about popular hymns or bible verses related to the holiday, we are told 4 different holiday horror stories. Santa fights off zombie elves, a family full of assholes inadvertently summons Krampus, a cops family finds a changeling, and a group of teens learn the Scooby doo’s and Scooby Don’ts of ghost hunting. There is also a radio host played by William Shatner that has almost nothing to do with anything.
https://youtu.be/7Z3ybMTpqFw
Review of A Christmas Horror Story
A Christmas Horror Story is an anthology horror movie done right. It takes stories that could almost, but not quite be stretched into full length movies, and bundles them together in a thematic group of short films. The concepts, or gimmicks if you like, take front stage, and some minorly fleshed out characters are inserted into the action to act as fodder for our delight. The tales range from slightly disturbing, to truly unsettling, to goofy gory fun.
I really enjoyed the ride. I think each story held its own and none felt redundant. My only real complaint is that my suspension of disbelief was affected by one or two “bith get out the house” moments, and a befuddling lack of christmas tradition knowledge by some of the characters.
I think the Santa story edges out the other three as the most enjoyable, mostly because you get to hear Santa mournfully call out ridiculous elf names as he has to fight them off. Sparkles no!!!
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The Number 23 Review
Dec 01, 2021
We watched The Number 23 and I was barely able to stay awake through this portrayal of the dark, end times of The Truman Show.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/TUTlOC4mVQ8
Synopsis
The Number 23 can be found for rent on most major platforms right now.
The Number 23 is the story of Walter Sparrow who becomes obsessed with a book that seems to have deep connections with his life. As he reads the novel, he begins to see clues that it may tie into the real world.
As Walter dives down this rabbit hole, he becomes obsessed with the obsession of the protagonist of the novel – the number 23.
Will Walter be able to hold on to his sanity, or will he suffer the same fate as the man in the book?
Review
I find it hard to review The Number 23 because it’s so forgettable and boring throughout with such a silly premise that I just can’t take it seriously.
It’s directed by Joel Schumacher and stars Jim Carrey and it’s exactly what you would expect that pairing of fellas would produce.
If you aren’t familiar with numerology and the mental gymnastics that it takes to believe any of that bullshit, this movie will catch you up quite well. Just don’t expect to be interested or enlightened.
Between Walter’s real life and the life he delves into while reading his book, you would think one of them would be interesting.
The over-saturation of the film while we experience what Walter reads is annoying but why stop there?
The constant adding and subtracting of seemingly symbolic numbers to achieve the number 23 falls so flat in what it tries to achieve that I can only laugh. The stakes are supposed to hinge on these coincidences in the number 23, but even the dimmest bulb will find them to be a stretch.
The twists and turns of the end arise as quickly as they are doused, and the final reveal happens with 20 minutes left in the movie, leaving the remaining 20 minutes to clumsily mop up the pieces.
It kind of bums me out because it’s probably the only Jim Carrey movie that we will ever get to review, unless The Cable Guy could somehow be considered horror.
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The Human Centipede (First Sequence) Review
Nov 24, 2021
It’s really the grade-schooler level diagrams that really sell it for me. This week we review one of my favorites, and I’m still not sure what that says about me. Join us on our break down of The Human Centipede.
Synopsis
The Human Centipede is about a centipede made out of humans. I mean it’s right there in the title, I don’t think that’s a spoiler. A mad German surgeon who’s specialty is the separation of Siamese twins decides to go in a different direction when he kidnaps a couple of American tourists who show up at his door.
https://youtu.be/glfBurdSUS8
Review of The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
This movie exists in a world of it’s own. I think Roger Ebert said it best:
“I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.”
I’ll disagree and say that this film is great. It’s one of my favorite horror movies because of the absolute unflinching commitment to a ridiculous premise, while just barely betraying itself with subtle touches of dark dark humor.
At walks the razors edge of storytelling and utter depravity.
It’s a movie that you only need to watch once, because it is going to stick with you.
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Don’t Look Now Pretentious Review Sneak Peek
Nov 22, 2021
This was a really interesting movie that Bryce loved and David was ambivalent about.
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Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin Review
Nov 17, 2021
We watched Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin on Paramount+ and I am so pleased with the fresh breath of quality that it has brought to this flailing franchise. While the activity is mostly not paranormal, it ain’t normal, and that’s good enough for me!
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https://youtu.be/cyrhAScX80k
Synopsis
Margot is a young woman who was abandoned by her mother at a hospital as a baby. She heads to the Amish countryside to reconnect with the family that she 23 and me claims she came from.
She brings Chris and Dale with her to shoot a documentary that will follow her journey to reconnect with the community that she was torn from at such a young age.
As Margot and her small crew are reluctantly welcomed by the Amish, they begin to notice that certain activities are going on across the spacious countryside – paranormal activities.
Review
Directed by William Eubank who also directed Underwater, Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin brings the franchise back from the brink and gives it a kick in the old pantaloons.
While it doesn’t carry on with the same content that we came to love in Paranormal Activity 1-3, it does have a solid premise, a great setting, and some decent scares.
Mostly, I’m just thrilled to death that Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin was entertaining and well-done. There was a simple mystery placed before me, and plenty of twists and turns to keep me enthralled. While the subject matter is a bit different than the previous installments, it was still consistent and interesting.
When I think of the Paranormal Activity series, the first three are top tier. But 4-6 get hung up on goofy camera hijinks, played out tropes, and throw away acting and directing choices. Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin stands on it’s own two demon haunches and manages to be an original installment worth watching.
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Antlers Review
Nov 10, 2021
If you mess with the Wendigo, you get the antlers…
Synopsis
Antlers tells the story of meth cookers inadvertently disturbing an ancient evil, and the middle school teacher and student that suffer the consequences. Keri Russel stars as Julia Meadows, who has returned home to begin her first year as a middle school teacher. While dealing with trauma and guilt surrounding her childhood, she notices a student displaying signs of trauma. Jeremy Thomas plays Lucas Weaver, the young boy that resembles a Tim Burton sketch. He is hiding the secret of his sick father and brother in his attic, who he is taking care of. Their sickness makes his father a rage filled, ravenous monster, and this is problematic for young Lucas.
https://youtu.be/ng5eyOfL8qM
Review of Antlers
In the marketing, it heavily pushes Guiermo Del Toro’s name, but he only produced, and it was actually directed by Scott Cooper, who has mainly directed dramas before, such as Crazy Heart and Black Mass. It shows here, because the drama and internal world of the characters is front and center throughout most of the film. It turns what could be just a special effects demonstration monster movie into an actual story with stakes.
I was looking forward to this movie. I wouldn’t say I had high expectations, but it definitely piqued my interest. The trailers show very little, but really sell the movie based on the performance of Jeremy Thomas.
Out of all the new releases this year that I was looking forward to, this is the only one that actually delivered. This is a compelling and emotionally complex film, but it also has some of the year’s best gore and jump scares.
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Last Night in Soho Review
Nov 03, 2021
We went and saw Last Night in Soho and came away impressed but not enthralled. This is a movie that is well made and acted but just doesn’t hold much for me to relate to.
That being said, it was an undeniably good twisted thriller that uses a tried and true formula to keep the audience thrown off the scent of the twist at the end.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/AcVnFrxjPjI
Synopsis
Last Night in Soho is about a girl in the present day named Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie). Ellie is a budding fashion designer who moves to the big city of London, where she is going to school to pursue her dreams.
Coming from a small town and with a questionable heritage of mental health problems, Ellie is overwhelmed and taken advantage of in this new environment. She leaves the dorms after her roommate proves herself to the the biggest bitch I’ve ever seen on the silver screen.
Ellie moves in with an elderly woman named Ms. Collins, who has a single room for rent in Soho.
When going to sleep in this room, Ellie is transported via dream into the world of London in the 60’s where she follows a gorgeous young woman named Sandy (Anya Taylor-Joy) who wants to make it big in show business and befriends a dashing manager, Jack (Matt Smith) played by Dr. Who.
But what hides behind her idyllic dream of the 60’s is a dark and dangerous side of London that’s still present today.
Will London take advantage of Ellie, or will she learn from the tragic and terrifying story of Sandy?
Review
Last Night in Soho is a mystery/thriller that is well-made and fun. It’s also dark and twisted with a fabulous soundtrack of solid 60’s hits and a wonderful cast of competent actors.
It presents themes of bullying, human trafficking, mental illness, and revenge but it’s wrapped in such a sugary-sweet, neon-light fun show that the scares feel more like suggestions.
If those themes sound like content that will trigger you, however, this will likely be a very scary movie for you. I, on the other hand, have not had to deal with much in the way of being preyed upon by men, or severe mental illness, so Last Night in Soho didn’t hit home for me.
I can definitely appreciate that this is a well-made and thoughtful approach to a number of serious issues, but I’m not the target audience. I feel like this is geared toward women and suffers of mental abuse, but it’s so well-done that it will appeal to general audiences much more than hard horror fans.
It was a little long but the length felt warranted and even necessary. If you are looking for hardcore horror, this may not be your best bet. I would steer you toward Antlers for the crazier side of horror that’s available in theaters right now.
We reviewed a real stinker of a boring movie in episode 33 titled Gretaand this feels like that movie done well because of the themes, setting, and characters.
Score
7/10
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Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Review
Oct 27, 2021
Remember how Michael Myers was burned in fire? No you don’t, shut up. He’s fine, he was just resting. This week we review Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers with special guest Bug-Z!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
10 years have passed since the events of Halloween 1 & 2 (the first ones), and Michael Myers has awakened from a coma to escape from a prison transport. He hears that he has a niece, and will stop at nothing to kill her, because that’s kind of his thing.
https://youtu.be/rfvBru3MKsg
Review of Halloween 4
Halloween 4 is a Halloween Movie. It’s got Michael Myers. You should pretty much know what it is just by reading the title. You’re going to get kills. You’re going to have a stabby boy. The only difference is going to be the tone of the film, and the quality of kills.
Halloween 4 goes full-on.
This is the first Halloween movie where I kind of get it. Once they allow Michael Myers to poke a hole in a skull with his thumb… the series has turned a corner. Now he’s not just a guy with a knife, his hands are knives too!
I enjoyed this entry a little more than the first two, but it is still limited by what it is. Loomis emphatically reminding us that Michael is not human, but EVIL, and various characters getting set up to be killed.
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Mentioned in the Episode
https://youtu.be/QRtqg_I3oEQ
https://youtu.be/KbkNul4wQH0
https://youtu.be/9qUiAdha-1Y
It’s ya boy, Bug-Z
Halloween Kills Review
Oct 20, 2021
We went and saw Halloween Kills and i was shocked by the insanity of the violence at the start and end of the movie, and bored to literal tears by the squishy, awkward middle.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/OUwVHX3242M
Synopsis
Halloween Kills picks up directly where Halloween 2018 left off. Spoilers, he makes it through the fire, and goes on a murderous rampage through his hometown of Haddonfield.
While the residents decide to make their own stand against his evil, they do their best to try to find and kill Michael in a mob justice style coup.
Michael creeps through the town brutally killing random bystanders and homeowners.
Eventually, everyone ends up with more Michael Meyers than they bargained for.
Review
Halloween Kills is a cool concept that is hampered by slow-witted dialog and an unneeded morality appeal.
Who was the person clamoring for a barebones morality tale in a Halloween movie? I feel like I understand the Halloween fanbase pretty well. I respect them, and I know I’m an outsider looking in, but none of them are asking for this.
The entire second and third acts of Halloween Kills are bogged down by inane dialog, cameos, and homages to previous films.
I will say this – the violence is pretty incredible. Some of the kills are so brutal and disgusting that I was impressed. I don’t think I’ve seen such incredible brutality done so well since Possessor Uncut from 2020. The kills were done so well that I actually got into them to a degree.
Instead of a dialog driven homage-fest, why not do what Michael actually does best? Creep around the town of Haddonfield with Michael, stalking and killing his victims. Sparse music or silence accompaniment to pair with the gurgling, gasping, and screaming of defenseless townsfolk, just trying to get away.
Show how evil Michael is, don’t tell us – WE KNOW! Make us gasp in awe. Make us fearful of walking through the parking lot at night to get back to our cars and drive home.
It bums me out that Halloween 2018 didn’t get a hardcore follow-up, because I feel like if they had gone swung for the fence with the brutality, they could have made a movie that people spoke about in hushed tones.
Score
5/10
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Lamb Review
Oct 13, 2021
We went and saw Lamb, and I’m still wondering about what I saw. This moody and intimate Icelandic horror movie may not have a lot of scares, but it serves up plenty of dread, and will stick with you for a while.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Lamb can be found in theaters now
Synopsis
Lamb is about a childless couple working a farm in Iceland that discovers a unique lamb born in their barn. They take special care in raising this lamb, but something’s not quite right. You can tell because some of the other lambs have shifty eyes.
https://youtu.be/hnEwJKVWjFM
Review of Lamb
This is a very unique movie. It’s one of the things I crave in a moviegoing experience: novelty. There has definitely never been a movie like this one. The story is very simple and spare, but somehow punches you in the gut with vague allegory. It’s almost hard to come up with what this movie is about without just describing the plot, but the themes go into nature vs nurture, seeking happiness where you shouldn’t, motherhood, loss, jealousy, and synthpop.
It is definitely slowly paced, but that isn’t to say that it isn’t engaging. It held my attention, and affected me on an emotional level. The visuals were stark but beautiful, reminding me a lot of A24’s other recent release The Green Knight.
If you think all of A24’s movies are pretentious garbage, then you’ll hate this movie, but if you want to see something that you haven’t before and are willing to soak in some melancholy for a couple hours, I highly recommend it.
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Ernest Scared Stupid Review
Oct 06, 2021
We watched Ernest Scared Stupid and were reminded of a simpler time when all you needed for a kids movie was a man with bizarre facial expressions and copious amounts of boogers.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/ni50DLOKdZY
Synopsis
Many years ago an ancient evil was locked away in the earth below Briarville, Missouri and today our lovable clutz, Ernest has unleashed it upon the children. Won’t someone think of the children?
Well, Ernest did an oopsy and now he’s going to right his wrong with the help of all the kids in Briarville. But that means he will have to face the terrifying Trantor the troll!
Will Ernest be able to save the kid’s souls? Will he fuck up even worse? Will children who watch this movie get more trolls than they bargain for?
Review
ErnestScared Stupid is probably the most memorable of all ten Ernest movies that have been made starring the legendary Jim Varney.
There is a tried and true method for making kids movies that I think might have started with Honey, I Shrunk the Kids where the kids would build elaborate contraptions that were as goofy as they were oddly effective. This is one of those, but with the added benefit of starring a pre Jim Carrey slapstick aficionado, and goofball.
When you add trolls and a special effects department helmed by the Chiodo Brothers, apparently what you get is a horror movie made for kids that is so effective that I still remember it with glee.
Has this film aged well? It depends who you ask. If you are talking to me, I remember this being far more terrifying and interesting. If you ask my kids they will cry and tell you that it was the scariest thing they’ve ever seen.
This film isn’t for me, but it’s a cult millennial legend for a reason. It did a lot of things right, even if it’s too scary for little kids and way too boring for me.
This is a fabulous introduction to horror for kids, being accessible, fun, and not so gentle that kids feel belittled or coddled. It’s got some potty humor, but honestly that’s one of it’s strong-points.
Ernest Scared Stupid is a ton of family fun and an easy title to throw on for background noise or to keep the kids entertained while you have a Halloween party.
Score
4/10
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Malignant (2021) Review
Sep 29, 2021
We went and saw Malignant, and It had me all turned around. I didn’t know if this movie was coming or going. Wan is an experienced filmmaker, but this film makes me wonder if he had brain trauma since Aquaman.
(1:27) – Intro
(5:51) – Trailer
(8:42) – Synopsis
(9:07) – Review
(15:42) – Score
(25:50) – Spoilers
(1:02:17) – Make it Better
(1:18:01) – Outro
Malignant can be found in theaters now and streaming on HBO Max until Oct 10
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Malignant is about an abused wife, Madison (Annabelle Wallis), who after her husband is murdered, begins to see a figure in the shadows and having visions of murders. She finds out that these murders are real and that she has been witnessing them in real time. As police investigate the crimes, they seem to be tied together and related somehow to Madison’s past.
https://youtu.be/Gczt0fhawDs
Review of Malignant (2021)
James Wan, the director of Malignant is an accomplished horror director. Say what you want about The Conjuring, Saw, and … Aquaman? The truth is he is a competent director that has made some very enjoyable and successful movies. So much so, that entire franchises have been launched from his films. So the question is. How did Malignant happen? Is this a joke?
I can only assume that Wan intentionally made a bad movie, because otherwise, the only explanation is head trauma.
There are times when it shines with pure stupid fun — mainly the opening and ending scenes — but the majority of the movie seems to have poor footing with its tone. I could see some of these terrible lines of dialogue and ridiculous plotting work in a committed exaggerated campy horror film, But foolishly, everyone is playing it subdued and straight. I sat there watching the film, bored for most of it, desperately wanting a Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead 2 type actor to bring some levity and self awareness. Nope, just performances of the caliber that you would see on your mom’s favorite c-tier CBS crime procedural.
The influences are many and varied. I’m reminded of most of Wans career with elements of The Conjuring and Saw apparent, but also campy horror classics like Re-Animator and Basket Case. However, instead of taking disparate ingredients and making an enjoyable stew, we are treated more to a bachelor’s feast of unrelated stale cold leftovers eaten out of tupperware containers.
The film could have gone a number of ways to explain what is happening to Madison. It could be a haunting, a possession, a serial killer, psychic powers, etc. What it ends up being, is so dumb that you almost want to stand up and clap.
I wish I could like this movie more, but the story in the middle of the film, and the characters are so boring, The ridiculous parts that I did enjoy couldn’t overcome them.
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Midnight Mass Aftershow Available Now
Sep 24, 2021
Just released, Horror Movie Talk presents the Midnight Mass Aftershow. We’ll breakdown each episode of the upcoming seven-part horror series by Mike Flanagan on Netflix with a companion aftershow episode.
About Midnight Mass
When Father Paul’s appearance on Crockett Island coincides with unexplained and seemingly miraculous events, a renewed religious fervor takes hold of the community. But do these miracles come at a price?
From Mike Flanagan, the creator of The Haunting of Hill House, Midnight Mass tells the tale of a small isolated island community whose existing divisions are amplified by the return of a disgraced young man and the arrival of a charismatic priest.
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book VII: Revelation
Sep 24, 2021
In the exciting conclusion to the Midnight Mass Aftershow, we cover Book VII: Revelations. We breakdown the horror and metaphysical aspects of this last episode of Midnight Mass.
(0:46) – Welcome
(1:51) – Opening Prayer
(3:10) – Synopsis
(11:02) – Sermon
Synopsis
In the finale, we see the resulting chaos of what happened in the church. Lines are drawn the turned and unturned, and Bev self righteously appoints herself as the leader to guide the islanders.
While continuing the heavy violence from the previous episode’s finale, this final book takes a hard turn into the metaphysical as many characters confront their life choices, and their impending death.
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book VI: Acts of the Apostles
Sep 24, 2021
At this point, everything has been set in motion and we get to see what “God” wants for the island of Crockett. Listen to Episode 6 of the Midnight Mass Aftershow.
(0:45) – Welcome
(1:22) – Synopsis
(3:37) – Opening Prayer
(4:30) – Sermon
Synopsis
This episode starts with Erin In the boat where… stuff just went down.
At this point, everything has been set in motion and we get to see what God wants for the island of Crockett.
The apostles who have been chosen on the island are setting to work doing what has to be done to spread salvation to the rest of the island.
We sit and watch in dread and I have to wonder, is this all part of God’s plan? Maybe he does work in mysterious ways. Maybe this is salvation. Maybe those who stand opposed to Bev and Monsenior Pruit are in defiance of God’s will.
If that is the case, would you accept the sacrament? Would you follow this God?
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book V: Gospel
Sep 24, 2021
Gospel means the good news, and this episode has some of the worst news for our favorite characters.
(0:46) – Welcome
(1:45) – Opening Prayer
(2:42) – Synopsis
(4:42) – Sermon
Synopsis
Riley is missing, and Erin is searching all over the island for him. Father Paul is starting to sound more militant in his Good Friday Sermon, and Mildred is appearing almost as young as her daughter. We eventually find out what Riley’s fate is and have some of the most emotional moments in the series.
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book IV: Lamentations
Sep 24, 2021
This episode of the aftershow we get to discuss some of the most pivotal revelations of Midnight Mass.
(0:46) – Welcome
(1:42) – Opening Prayer
(2:58) – Synopsis
(6:06) – Sermon
Synopsis
This episode starts with Erin at the doctors office, where they find one of the most disconcerting things I can possibly imagine out about her pregnancy, the baby appears to have vanished from inside her womb.
This episode is pivotal to the series so far in that we finally realize what the flying, cat eating presence is, and what role it plays.
We also learn that this new pastor is not new at all, but monseniour all young and vibrant again.
Finally, we get into pithy and heartfelt dialog about what life and death are and how they can mean different things to different people.
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book III: Proverbs
Sep 24, 2021
In this episode, we discuss the major revelation of what happened to Monsignor Pruitt.
(0:45) – Welcome
(1:38) – Opening Prayer
(2:15) – Synopsis
(4:09) – Sermon
Synopsis
This episode fills in details about what happened to Monsignor Pruitt. We also pick up right at the moment after Leesa’s spine is healed. The town clamors for more healings and Riley is skeptical. Signs of de-aging become more pronounced, but no one openly talks about it.
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book I: Genesis
Sep 24, 2021
In this first official episode of the Midnight Mass Aftershow, we cover Book 1: Genesis. We introduce the characters and start asking ourselves questions about where we think the show will go.
(0:47) – Welcome
(1:41) – Opening Prayer
(3:19) – Synopsis
(6:06) – Sermon
Synopsis
This first episode starts out with Riley Flynn being convicted of vehicular manslaughter and serving 4 years in prison. As he returns home to the island community of Crockett, we are introduced to his family and the other townspeople of note. Much ado is made of the return of Monsignor Pruitt the elderly priest coming back from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. The townspeople are surprised to learn that Monsignor Pruitt is replaced temporarily with Father Paul hill. Along with the arrival of Riley and Father Hill, spooky things are afoot in the dark of night.
We watched Paranormal Activity 3 and I literally had nightmares. This movie has taken the tried and true formula from the first few, sharpened it, and really knocks it out of the park in terms of scares.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
While the first movie in the series focused on Katie (Katie Featherston), and the second focused on her sister, Kristi (Sprague Grayden) while they are in the present, the third installment focuses on their childhood.
Katie and Kristi are at home in Carlsbad, CA in 1988 with their sexy mom, Julie (Lauren Bittner) and her remarkably likeable boyfriend, Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith).
Strange sounds and movements start to happen throughout the house and Dennis, who owns a wedding video film taping company takes a big interest in catching this on tape.
Kristi, the youngest girl, has an imaginary friend named Toby, and well, Toby fucking sucks.
Julie’s mother doesn’t seem to approve of her dating Dennis.
Eventually our ill fated family get more paranormal activity than they bargained for.
Review
Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, Paranormal Activity 3 blows me away. So much about this movie works and it scares me to death.
With the kids being a central focus of the happenings in the house, I am basically on high alert right from the beginning.
The stationary cameras that are the calling card of this series are done so well in this that I still think about it when I think about framing and timing perfection within film.
There is a reason for almost everything that happens in Paranormal Activity 3 that is rooted in decent enough logic and for everything else the scares are so intense that I can’t be upset.
The way this movie uses sound is masterful. The slight movement of boring objects around the house keeps me on the edge of my seat.
Producers, take note. For the low cost of some fishing line, you can scare me way more than if you pay a huge crew of computer animators to design a monster that runs around and skins people.
Mostly, the tension is the highlight of Paranormal Activity 3. While it may not work for everyone, I think the build and release cycles of tension in this are second to none. Every single time it day turned to night in this film, I was shook.
Score
10/10
Final Recommendations
If found footage is something that you even mildly enjoy, this is a master class. Of the first three, I think this one is the scariest to me, and I love the oscillating fan cam!
Midnight Mass Review | Midnight Mass Aftershow | Episode 0
Sep 20, 2021
Why start an aftershow before the show is available to watch? Because we are going to first give our overall review and tell you that you need to watch Midnight Mass.
(0:00) – Welcome
(1:33) – Synopsis
(4:37) – Themes
(17:56) – Score
(20:20) – A Letter From Mike Flanagan
Synopsis
An isolated island community experiences miraculous events – and frightening omens – after the arrival of a charismatic, mysterious young priest.
Riley also returns home to Crockett island following his incarceration for the accidental slaying of a young woman while he was driving drunk.
As we experience a community threatened by the death of their fishing industry, and an aging populace, we suddenly see new life being breathed into the church.
Midnight Mass brings us an even handed look at the themes of religion, death, and what it means to live a good life amongst those who do evil even when they believe themselves to be acting in the name of God.
Score
10/10
A Letter From Mike Flanagan
Welcome to Crockett Island.
I’m just going to admit it—Midnight Mass is my favorite project so far. I don’t like saying things like that, as filmmakers are meant to fall in love with whatever we are working on at a given time—it’d be impossible to do the work if we didn’t—but this one is truly special to me.
This project is more than a decade in the making. You may have noticed Midnight Mass as Maddie’s novel in Hush, or on the shelf in Gerald’s Game—two cameos that let me keep the project alive when it looked like no one would make it. When people on set asked me what Midnight Mass was, I smiled and told them it was the “best thing I never made”. As a former altar boy, about to celebrate 3 years of sobriety, it’s not hard to see what makes this so personal. It is also born of the things that scare me the most. The ideas that animate my work always scare me—but the ideas at the root of Midnight Mass terrify me to my core.
Horror is an essential genre. It helps us develop bravery and courage in very small increments. It also gives us a safe place to examine the most uncomfortable truths about ourselves as individuals and as a society. The horrors and mysteries of Midnight Mass are some of the deepest—and the darkest—I’ve ever explored.
The isolated community of Crockett Island sits, surrounded by grey water and overcast skies. While there are dark forces at work that are absolutely supernatural, this show is also about the most potent types of horrors—the horrors born of human nature. Horrors of fanaticism, corruption, and blind faith.
Along with the figures who lurk in the shadows, whose plans for Crockett Island are far more sinister than we know, this show is about how belief shapes our communities, our world, and our fates. It’s a show about faith, fanaticism, addiction, recovery, destruction and redemption.
The darkness that animates this story isn’t hard to see in our world, unfortunately. We see it in religious and political fundamentalism, in tribalism and racism, in science-denial, in systemic corruption, and in the eyes of normal citizens moved to acts of violence and horror by belief systems that have exploited their prejudices, fears, and blind faith. It speaks to a malignant insanity that has become absolutely normalized in our world. And as Carl Sagan said, “there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.”
It’s about something else as well: faith itself. One of the great mysteries of human nature. How even in the darkness, in the worst of it, in the absence of light—and hope—we sing.
I hope you enjoy our song.
Mike Flanagan
Creator/Showrunner
Midnight Mass Press Materials
Midnight Mass Aftershow Coming Soon
Sep 15, 2021
Coming September 24, Horror Movie Talk presents the Midnight Mass Aftershow. We’ll breakdown each episode of the upcoming seven-part horror series by Mike Flanagan on Netflix with a companion aftershow episode.
About Midnight Mass
When Father Paul’s appearance on Crockett Island coincides with unexplained and seemingly miraculous events, a renewed religious fervor takes hold of the community. But do these miracles come at a price?
From Mike Flanagan, the creator of The Haunting of Hill House, Midnight Mass tells the tale of a small isolated island community whose existing divisions are amplified by the return of a disgraced young man and the arrival of a charismatic priest.
This is not the greatest horror movie in the world, this is just a tribute. James Gunn’s love letter to monster movies is a shining star in the morass of 2000’s horror, It’s surprising that it doesn’t get more love.
(0:34) – Intro
(8:45) – Trailer
(10:39) – Synopsis
(11:19) – Review
(17:15) – Score
(21:48) – Spoilers
(52:10) – Attack of the Rotten Tomatoes Game
(1:01:01) – Outro
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Slither tells the story of a loving husband trying to have sex with his wife by any means possible. He discovers a lot about himself and makes a lot of friends along the way.
Actually it’s about a parasitic worm that arrives from space to terrorize a small town in South Carolina. The worm inserts itself into a sexually frustrated local businessman and multiplies until it takes over most of the town. Along the way a ragtag group of townspeople join together to fight back against the slithering invasion.
https://youtu.be/SI0BcgVdSWg
Review of Slither
Slither is written and directed by James Gunn, before he got canceled and then uncanceled by Disney. His style shows here with just the right amount of humor and winking at the audience. It was obviously a love letter to the horror genre, as it imitates about a dozen other horror classics such as The Thing, Society, The Blob, Rats: Night of Terror, and Star War The Phantom Menace.
The cast is great, the premise is fun, and the story is executed well. It drags at some points, but has some genuinely great scenes and set pieces that overshadow any momentary boredom.
More than anything, this is a fun ride and probably deserves more attention than it gets.
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Mentioned in the Episode
https://youtu.be/_lK4cX5xGiQ
Cube (1997) Review
Sep 08, 2021
We watched Cube from 1997 and it held my attention from start to finish with an interesting premise and very little in terms of budget.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/Esjc0rPj3K4
Synopsis
Cube has a simple premise, an assortment of individuals wake up and find themselves trapped in a maze of cubes. Each side and the ceiling and floor of each room they enter has a door on it.
Some cubes are booby trapped, and others are safe. Each individual brings a unique perspective and talent to the party, and they all must work together to escape the Cube.
In the end everyone gets more cube than they bargained for.
Review
Cube is an interesting low budget, sci-fi horror from the 90’s. While that low-budget feel is present in Cube, director Vincenzo Natali does a great job of masking it with a variety of clever choices.
Saw, which came out in 2004, feels as if it were modeled after Cube, or maybe a loving tribute to the Cube. But it’s interesting to see what feels like the start of the puzzle gore genre.
The setting and premise of Cube are compelling and force the audience to imagine the setting that they aren’t allowed to see. Whenever a movie makes me imagine the larger scale universes or sets that they hint at, it works quite well for me.
The primary focus of this movie is on a handful of Cube dwellers and their attempt to escaped the Cube.
These are very highly exaggerated stereotypical 90’s protagonists that can fit into their own little boxes. These protagonist tropes range in the following ways:
Nerdy student who wears glasses and can do math
Disaffected office worker
Overly aggressive cop
Empathetic doctor
Autist
Escape artist
The puzzle aspects of Cube are often explained through confusing dialog with questionable logic, but I never found myself hung up on these problems. Instead I just had a little chuckle to myself about “simpler times” and let the movie unravel.
At the end I found myself engaged and interested in the story and the reason for the Cube and I will be watching Cube 2: Hypercube.
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Candyman (2021) Review
Sep 01, 2021
A soft-reboot of Candyman (1992), this new Jordan Peele written/produced feature re-invents the legend of Candyman into a fresh, new, and boring villain.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is an up and coming black artist living in the gentrified Cabrini Greens. Searching for a muse, he stumbles upon the legend of Candyman by talking to the lesser known Laundryman. McCoy’s output increases and he starts getting much wanted attention for his work as he goes down the rabbit hole of the legend and becomes obsessed. Mysterious deaths start to happen surrounding his work, and slowly Anthony gets more unstable mentally and physically as he realizes there may be a Candyman or Candymen in the house.
https://youtu.be/TPBH3XO8YEU
Review of Candyman (2021)
Candyman (2021) lures you in with the sweet sweet promise of reviving a seductive and unique horror villain icon, and ends up remolding the legend of Candyman into a more generic set of boogeymen that fail to capture the imagination in the same way. Nia Dacosta attempts to expand the lore of Candyman by expanding the scope of his representation of historical and contemporary black trauma. It’s an ambitious goal, and unfortunately never quite hits home.
A lot of ideas and plot points in the film were interesting, but lacked some of the connective tissue to make a compelling whole. The most disappointing aspect of the film is how much flavor and charm from the original that they left behind. I kept asking myself, where is the sexy, seductive menacing Candyman? By making the Candyman legend into abstraction and less of a personality, it becomes slightly more interesting intellectually, but vastly less compelling emotionally.
The protagonists of this film are never really compelling. Anthony’s obsession and vanity are the real driving forces for his motivation, but they seem to appear out of the blue, and never culminate in a satisfying end for the character.
The end of the film is probably the most disappointing aspect. It just kind of happens. I was literally dozing off at what should have been the most exciting part of the movie. The reveal and transformation at the end seemed obvious and arbitrary at the same time.
I’m maybe being harsh on the film, because it’s not a bad movie, it just pales in comparison to the original and I had high expectations.
We went and saw The Night House and I was blown away by the depth of storyline, the way the movie played with tension, and the insane twist.
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https://youtu.be/W8WQGXkif_s
Synopsis
Beth (Rebecca Hall) which you will remember most recently from Godzilla vs. Konghas just lost her husband, but not to natural circumstances. He killed himself on the lake, in their boat.
This is an incredible surprise to Beth because not only was it sudden, but her husband never showed any signs of depression or mental illness.
As we follow Beth in her shocked grief, we learn more and more about her husband who seemed to be hiding an alternate life.
He went to great lengths to keep this other life hidden from Beth which is concerning enough without the nightly visits she gets from an ominous presence that may be human, or may be paranormal in nature.
As Beth digs deeper into her husbands past, she finds a terrifying secret that he kept from her which left me quite emotional.
Review
The Night House came out of left field for me. I vaguely remember seeing the trailer before the theaters shut down and not being impressed by the title or the portrayal of the story. What I walked away from left me emotional, scared, and somewhat enlightened.
The Night House takes grief and places it front and center, then places weird new rules on the night time that Beth now experiences.
There are moments when this movie feels very much like a home invasion flick and others where it feels straight out of a Paranormal Activity movie. It even feels like a detective thriller at moments. But with all this it never feels cluttered or confused.
The way this movie deals with sadness and curiosity is something that I connected with deeply and I am finding it hard to review because of how perfectly gobsmacked it left me.
If monsters or aliens or raging killers are what scare you, this may not be your thing. But if death, and things that go bump in the night make your hackles rise, this is right up your alley.
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Score
10/10
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Ghoulies Pretentious Review Sneak Peek
Aug 20, 2021
This was an incredibly fun movie that we watched on HBOMAX, and wow, what a ride!
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Don’t Breathe 2 Review
Aug 18, 2021
If you have been wondering to yourself what the turkey baster rapist from Don’t Breathe is up to nowadays, I have good news for you. The sequel to Don’t Breathe, Don’t Breathe 2 has come out and boy is it a doozy.
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Synopsis
Don’t Breathe 2 is a wholesome coming of age tale of a blind father teaching his young daughter how to survive in the world. This sequel to Don’t Breathe takes the elderly kidnapper/rapist and casts him as the good guy. When a band of home invaders come to kidnap little girl:
Old man not like this.
He listen good.
Bangy bangy, choppy choppy.
https://youtu.be/gRbG2tjHYCA
Review of Don’t Breathe 2
This movie is bonkers. It makes so many absurd choices and switcheroos, that I asked myself about every ten minutes “What am I supposed to be thinking right now?” The world in which this movie inhabits is so depraved and insane that I started rooting for the little girl to die, just because that seems like the only way she could escape this hell.
There are so many times where my suspension of disbelief was completely shattered, that it was almost impossible to watch this as a movie, and I ended up looking at it like performance art. The ideas of character, theme, and morality are thrown out the window to give way to pure depraved spectacle.
If you are looking for gore and kills, this movie has them. If you want to have a story that is consistent where things happen for a reason, this ain’t the movie for you. The plot is a series of events that just happen sequentially, and the only thing that almost holds it together is that there is a constant stream of surprise reveals and switcheroos in the second and third act, that it captures your attention like a car wreck might.
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Old (Movie) Review
Aug 11, 2021
This week we went and saw Old by M. Night Shyamalan and I was reminded of super-obvious dialog from 50’s monster movies in the most charming way possible.
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https://youtu.be/s8xXNxBdhj8
Synopsis
Old is a film about a group of strangers who meet on a resort trip to a special beach. Our main characters are the family of father Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal), mother Prisca (Vicky Krieps), daughter Maddox, and son Trent.
Our protagonist couple are experiencing marital strife, but are taking this vacation nonetheless.
As our band of beach-goers spends their day, they find a woman’s body in the waves and things take a turn for the unpleasant. They also start to notice that they seem to be showing signs of mysterious aging…
At the end of the day, everyone gets older than they bargained for.
Review
Old is, at it’s core, a fun movie. It has some disturbing concepts, impressive stakes, interesting characters, and that trademark M. Night twist that we’ve all come to expect. We expect the twist so much that it might be more of a twist if he left the twist off, but whatever.
I found myself giddy with laughter at points in Old, and oddly disturbed at other points. Mostly I had a wonderful time in the theater giggling like a school-girl with my buddy Bryce, tittering over little jokes we made or quotes we thought of.
Old is not a serious movie, it’s like going to see Batman Forever with friends in the theater, but good.
If you are looking for something to terrify you, let’s face it, M. Night isn’t your guy. He’s your guy for stuff that makes you think about all the weird possibilities in this world he dreamt up.
How do we get out of this trap? Why is this happening to us? Who is in charge? How old do I have to get before I accidentally shit my pants?
There are lots of panning shots that cleverly make use of space and time, but some of the panning was distractingly stuttery. This stutter may be because of the theater we were in which is quite old, I’m not sure.
So much of Old felt like an homage to thrillers and monster movies from the fifties because the script is utterly expositional. It’s cheesy, yes, but it’s not remotely offensive in the way it’s pulled off. I cared about and was interested by all the characters and their sometimes insane actions.
Old was way more fun than I thought it would be, and thanks to the beautiful sunny locations, it’s this year’s must-see summer thriller.
Score
7/10
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The Evil Dead (1981) Review
Aug 04, 2021
Sam Raimi‘s cabin in the woods film par excellence The Evil Dead stands as the paragon of independent, cult, and horror films since it’s release in 1981. It’s influence is felt in the films of the Coen brothers, Peter Jackson, and Edgar Wright. It’s dynamic direction and camera work declared a new and bold style for the 80s and 90s, but it’s real influence for independent filmmakers is in it’s success story as a bootstrapped production.
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https://youtu.be/NL6mioAlpJk
Childhood Friends
The Evil Dead launched the careers of childhood friends director Sam Raimi, and lead actor Bruce Campbell, which you probably recognize as Brisco County Jr. from Fox’s 90s television hit The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. During and after high school they collaborated shooting short films on super 8 film. This film began shooting right after Sam Raimi turned 20, and he considers it a right of passage in his life.
As first time filmmakers, Raimi, Campbell and producer Robert Tapert sought financing by shooting a “proof of concept” short film titled Within the Woods. The strategy worked, and as the result of many rounds of private investment, they were able to cobble together a budget of $375,000. Even Bruce Campbell’s family’s property in Northern Michigan was leveraged to finish the film and blow it up to the industry standard of 35 mm to be shown in theaters.
https://youtu.be/6Ccmkooeo5g?t=617
Sam Raimi Talking about the budget of The Evil Dead
Production
Initial photography was shot over the course of 12 weeks from the end of 1979 to the beginning of 1980. It was a grueling experience for all involved. The production was shot on location in an actual cabin in the remote woods of Morristown Tennessee. The cabin had no running water, and actors would go days without showering. Campbell described being doused with fake blood so much that he could only ride in the back of a truck to get home. While filming, the cast and crew of 13 actually slept in the cabin.
The conditions were so cold that Campbell said that after drying a blood soaked shirt outside, it cracked in half when he tried to put it on again. The ironic part is that Raimi and crew decided to shoot in Tennessee instead of their home state of Michigan to avoid extreme conditions in the winter. As it turned out, Michigan has an unusually tame winter, and Tennessee had one of the coldest winters in 1979.
Ingenuity with a small budget
The makeup and effects were accomplished by Tom Sullivan completely without CGI, relying on foam latex, corn syrup blood, and stop motion photography.
The low budget production was creative in its use of makeshift camera riggings such as the “vas-o-cam” which slid the camera down wooden ramps. One of the most influential techniques was the “shaky-cam” which was accomplished by mounting the camera to a 2×4 and having two operators at each end to roughly simulate a steady-cam. This technique was used for the POV shots of the demons running through the woods, along with the final shot that was accomplished with a tripod mounted to a motorcycle driven by Raimi. The Coen brothers used the shaky-cam technique in Blood Simple after Ethan Coen was inspired as an assistant editor for The Evil Dead.
Reception of The Evil Dead
The film is so gory that it was unrated, and banned in many countries upon its release.
The grueling and plucky production resulted in a unique and shocking film that has since become a cult icon in the horror community.
Synopsis
It tells the story of five Michigan State students vacationing to a remote cabin in the Tennessee country. During their playful and drug fueled exploration of the cabin, they stumble upon an ancient Samarian tome that is a translation of the Egyptian Book of the Dead and a curious recording. Upon Ash (Bruce Campbell) playing the tape that contained incantations from the book, the friends are beset by evil demons that possess one of them, turning them into an undead “deadite”.
They eventually learn that the only way to kill the entity is to dismember a possessed host. As the demon turns the friends against each other, the remaining living fight to save themselves torment, death, and vine rape.
The Evil Dead Poster
Review of The Evil Dead (1981)
The Evil Dead is the film that all other cabin in the woods movies are compared to, and for good reason. It spawned an entire subgenre of horror that was so prevalent in the decades following, that the meta-comedy-horror film Cabin in the Woods had plenty to draw on in 2011.
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Even with the jaded eyes of someone that grew up on the films influenced by Raimi’s directorial debut, it still is impressively violent, visceral, and darkly funny.
What it lacks in character development, it makes up for in over the top violence that always keeps you on your toes.
Special Effects
The special effects aren’t amazing, and are obviously operating on a budget, but it still works. Like a lot of 80s special effects, the grittiness of the practical effects still holds up today, because it feels so real. Many of the effects in this film look real because they are real. They used live ammunition in the shotgun and a real chainsaw in the chainsaw scene.
Acting
The acting is great, mostly because like Tobe Hooper did with the actors in TCM, Raimi was torturing the cast during shooting with highly uncomfortable conditions on set. Actors endured being accidentally stabbed, scraped, thrown at objects, and more on set. The discomfort seems to have elicited believable performances of people being tortured.
Sam Raimi
The real hero is Raimi. His directing style is what really makes the movie. The Dutch angles and dynamic POV shots throw the audience off kilter and make the experience almost like an amusement park ride. His artistic integrity and vision shine through with uncompromising violent and offensive scenes that have delighted horror fans for decades. Though Raimi has expressed regret for the violent sexual content, it stands as a testament to how far this young director would go to push the limits of the genre.
While the sequels became increasingly slapstick and absurd, this film still has some really good dark humor. There is something about the Midwest’s matter of fact sensibilities that create the uniquely dry and dark humor in directors that call it home such as Raimi and the Coen brothers. I love it, because this type of humor is the Da to my Norwegian heritage’s Uuf..
While I haven’t seen all of the films and television episodes of the Evil dead franchise, of those that I have watched, they are all stellar. This film is no exception.
The cabin that they used in production, has it’s own spooky story. Three generations of women, a grandmother, mother, and daughter lived at the cabin when one night, the daughter discovered that her mother was dead when she tried to crawl into her bed to snuggle with her for comfort in the night. When horrified, she ran to tell her grandmother, she discovered that she too had died in the night.
That girl as an elderly senile woman would wander the same woods at night. She actually lived close to the cabin in her old age. Raimi said that they learned of this story when the neighbor was out looking for the woman that had again wandered off. No one knows if she was ever found again.
https://youtu.be/1rDT7SwheMo?t=554
Sam Raimi Talking about the spooky origins of the Evil Dead Cabin
Stephen King’s relationship with The Evil Dead
After viewing the film at the Cannes film festival in 1982, Stephen King declared The Evil Dead as one of his favorite horror films. A quote from his rave review is included in the film’s poster.
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Sputnik Review
Jul 28, 2021
Sputnik is a Russian movie released in July of 2020. It follows the lone survivor of a spaceship incident and is set in the 1980’s to give it that cold war feel.
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Sputnik is the story of Konstantin Veshnyakov (Pyotr Fyodorov), who was the lone survivor of a russian spaceship crash. His partner was inexplicably killed after the crash but on the crash site.
Konstantin is being detained at a Soviet research facility in the great land of Kazakhstan for study as things don’t seem to be quite right with him.
The man in charge of this research facility, Colonel Semiradov (Fedor Bondarchuk) goes in search of a neuroscientist to help him determine what is going on with Konstantin.
He finds Tatyana Klimova (Oksana Akinshina) and enlists her help because she seems to care deeply about the well-being of her patients, even to the point of risking her career.
As the movie progresses we learn that Konstantin isn’t alone in his return to earth, and everyone gets more Sputnik than they bargained for.
Review
Having seen a few teasers for Sputnik, I thought I knew what I was getting into. I did not.
This movie looks like a creature feature, and it is, but it’s a drama too, and a convincing one.
As Sputnik unwound itself, I kept having to rejigger my expectations to fit what was happening. I kept asking, why is all this morality and guilty being touted around instead of a bloodthirsty monster.
Don’t get me wrong, there was some bloodthirsty monster in there, but with a hefty helping of personal drama and good old-fashioned Russian guilt.
This is not a movie for the traditional horror fan looking for a good scare, this is more of a tale of heroism, personal responsibility, and standing up to your fears for what is right.
Is it a creature feature? It is in a similar way to Monsters (2010). There is a monster, and it’s weird, but it’s one of several focal points of the movie.
Subtitle Issues
I had a technical critique of the version of Sputnik that I watched, which was that the subtitles are sometimes blisteringly fast. I had to back up the movie many times to get to see what was happening and see what was said. I am not a fast reader, so one could chalk this up to my shortcomings, but I feel it’s worth mentioning.
I enjoyed a lot of what Sputnik had to offer, and I particularly liked the way it handled personal relationships and dialog.
What I didn’t love about it was it’s slow pacing and lack of a satisfying finale to the incredible action at the end of the film.
A tremendous amount of time is devoted to the will they won’t they aspect of this, which makes for a boring middle of the film.
Score
7/10
Final Recommendation
If you enjoy horror that doesn’t try too hard to scare you, instead focusing on intriguing you, this is for you. It’s a thriller with a monster, and the morality play makes it an interesting discussion piece, especially in the context of it’s Russian roots.
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Anna and the Apocalypse Review
Jul 21, 2021
Anna and the Apocalypse is a mix of Shaun of the Dead and High School Musical, except less funny and with worse music.
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https://youtu.be/dfWIfwKJ7vA
Synopsis
Anna and the Apocalypse takes place in a little town in England during Christmas. Anna and her friends are finishing up their last year at high school, or as the English call it, Chumbumbly School. During the Christmas show, a zombie apocalypse breaks out and the next morning, all the people have to go from one place to another, and they sing about it.
Review of Anna and the Apocalypse
This film is touted as “Shaun of the Dead meets La La Land”, but it’s really Shaun of the Dead meets high school musical, except not as funny and with less memorable songs. It takes almost a third of the runtime to get to the actual zombie apocalypse, which is way too long. I was expecting more, because it had a relatively high rotten tomatoes score, but for me, it fell flat. It has super generic characters along with super generic songs executing a super generic zombie apocalypse plot.
It wasn’t all bad. They don’t skimp on the gore and dread, even though the latter is kind of undermined by the cast singing poppy songs after losing loved ones. There are some stand out songs that did work “soldier at war”, that sounded like an eighties pump up song, and “the fish wrap”, a throwaway song from the Christmas show.
The petty and ruthless headmaster was a fun villain, but he was relegated to the B story line of the film.
I wish that they had gone all in on the humor and the music. The music is only 38 mins of the 1:33:00 runtime. This is comparable to a lot of recent musicals, but feels sparse here. The humor was even more sparse, but mostly because they painted themselves into a corner by killing off a lot of characters in tragic ways.
Overall, it’s ok, but I’m not going to watch it again.
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Creep (2014) Review
Jul 14, 2021
We watched Creep on Netflix for the tenth time, and I have to say, this movie is just pure genius. Mark Duplass turns into the most playfully nefarious creep you’ve ever seen, and it’s one of the best performances I’ve ever seen anyone achieve.
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https://youtu.be/FBR8VcdpE4Y
Synopsis
Creep is a found footage film where Aaron answers a classified ad to film Josef for one day. The money being offered seems incredible, but not over-the-top unbelievable.
Aaron arrives and is immediately put-off by the insane, jump-scare greeting that Josef gives him. Josef shares that he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and only has a few months to live. He wants Aaron to film this day so that his unborn son, Buddy, will have something to know his father by.
Josef starts the day of filming off with Aaron filming him in the tub while pretending to bathe his son – the day gets infinitely more weird from there.
As we follow Aaron and Josef, we keep learning that Josef is not above lying to Aaron, and is very into making him feel uneasy and upset, without ever crossing the line of outright mania.
What becomes very apparent is Josef is a total creep, and it’s more unsettling and hilarious than anything I’ve seen since.
Review
Creep is low-key one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. It’s directed by Patrick Brice who also plays Aaron, and written by both Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass. It’s clear that Creep is based on a series of conversations around a creepy guy that Mark and Patrick dreamed up and the way Mark brings him to life is unforgettable.
The movie lacks a formal script, instead they wrote a barebones outline and improvised most of the scenes and dialog.
The result is something akin to meeting a far-too-kind stranger on the street. They welcome you and are so excited to meet you, but you can’t help but wonder, what are they after? Why are they so excited about this exchange? What are they hiding?
Mark Duplass keeps the character of Josef playful and fun, with an undercurrent of danger and seriousness just below the surface. Aaron and his actions are very easy to empathize with, which makes it very disturbing when thing go wrong.
Ultimately Creep is a provocative and hilarious character study that I love to death.
Score
10/10
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The Forever Purge Review
Jul 07, 2021
What can I say about The Forever Purge that hasn’t already been said by its title?
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https://youtu.be/xOrXpK-rUaI
Synopsis of The Forever Purge
Like the previous movies in The Purge franchise, the government of the United States has set aside each year, 12 hours where all its citizens struggle with bulimia. No wait that’s wrong, for 12 hours, all crime is legal, including murder. In this movie the citizens can’t overcome their urge to purge, and continue on their killing spree in a clumsy analogy of Trump’s America.
It follows a group of recent Mexican immigrants and several of their white employers as they try to escape the murderous hordes of racists.
Review of The Forever Purge
This movie wasn’t good. From the other purge movies that I have seen, it feels like the franchise came up with the concept of the film, and then proceeded to have no creativity after that point. This film is no exception.
The Forever Purge handles social commentary like The Family Guy handles jokes. It points out that racism, xenophobia, and classism are things. See how clever we are!?
The writing is bad, to the point where I wonder if there was more than one draft. Every character is there to deliver lines that state what they are going to do next, just so the audience is prepared for what the character is going to do next.
The action is probably the only good thing about the movie. There was a big enough budget to have plenty of splosions and shootouts.
Overall, the impression you get from the movie is that it was written by 17 year old drama students attempting their first script inspired by the Handmaid’s Tale.
10 Cloverfield Lane is a reminder that horror doesn’t have to be stilted and boring with a total lack of good acting. Sometimes it can feel like a tremendous whodunit, that has layer upon layer of intrigue and terror.
On today’s episode we are joined by Kate from Nightlight Horror Movie Club Podcast. She’s a delightful person and runs my favorite horror movie podcast, so check them out!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/saHzng8fxLs
Synopsis
Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is the victim of a car accident, and wakes up to find herself stuck like a prisoner in a bomb shelter.
Henry (John Goodman) says he saved Michelle from the accident and explains that some kind of global nuclear event has occurred, forcing them to take shelter in his bomb shelter.
Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.), is also in the shelter and soon explains that he helped Henry build it.
The shelter is almost as impressive as Henry’s temper and paranoia. In the end everyone gets more John Goodman than they bargained for.
Review
10 Cloverfield Lane is a freshman masterpiece for director Dan Trachtenberg, who has only this film to his name but has started production on the new Predator movie.
We follow Michelle’s point of view and are given a glimpse into what it would be like to live through a global disaster of epic magnitudes.
The script unfolds in layers of mystery and discovery, always leaving the next question around a corner, or outside the doors of the bomb shelter we inhabit with our lonesome trio.
Henry is a profoundly interesting character, and is John Goodman makes him come to life the same way Ted Levine and Anthony Hopkins brought Buffalo Bill and Hannibal Lecter to life in The Silence of the Lambs.
I love the way the Cloverfield series switches between storytelling mechanics, genres, and scripts. 10 Cloverfield Lane is, by far, the best of the trilogy which includes Cloverfield, 10 Cloverfield Lane, and The Cloverfield Paradox.
The way this movie deals with relationships, the terror of the unknown, and the incredibly thin veneer of society in a way that is so real that you just feel it in your bones.
The problems that arise and the resolutions to them are practical, well thought out, and relatable. Everytime Michelle sees a way out, she sees the dreadful terror of the consequences for her actions, and the audience is right there with her for the ride.
I am blown away that 10 Cloverfield Lane didn’t receive any award nominations, especially considering the strength of Goodman’s performance.
Score
10/10
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge Review
Jun 23, 2021
In honor of pride month, we watched Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, and it brings a whole new meaning to scream queen. Freddy’s back for revenge, and he doesn’t give a fuck if you’re dreaming or not.
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Synopsis
A totally straight young man named Jessie, with the scream of Ned Flanders, is haunted by nightmares of a scarred and razor clawed monster-man named Freddy Krueger. He finds out from his gym bro that the house he lives in was once inhabited by a young girl named Nancy driven crazy by the death of her boyfriend across the street. Jess discovers Nancy’s journal while cleaning his room and finds out that she was tormented by the same nightmares.
Freddy Krueger in this film isn’t out to kill the protagonist, he seeks to possess his body and carry out his murders in reality
https://youtu.be/9iqNVyjwLFA
Review of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2
This film has a reputation as a huge disappointment to fans of the original, and has a long history of getting shit on. I don’t see the drop in quality as being that big. The reason for the dislike of this film is probably because it strays so far from the premise of the first movie. Freddy’s unique selling point is that he can kill you in your dreams and that sleep is unavoidable. In this film, that is barely touched on. The terror in this film is very personal to the protagonist, as he witnesses Freddy take over his body in harm his friends around him.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge Poster
Homosexual Subtext
The homoerotic subtext might have been lost on a majority of general audiences in the 80’s. Many of the scenes must have felt random if you didn’t understand that Jessie’s experience was an allegory for being a closetted gay teen. Now 40 years later, it adds a new layer of interest, especially when you view it in the context that it was released right at the beginning of the AIDs epidemic.
Special Effects and Acting
All of that aside, this movie has some great special effects. The scene with Jessie’s were-Freddy transformation is going to stick in my mind.
It’s definitely not as tight as the original. At some points it looks like Freddy runs out of ideas of how to supernaturally and psychologically torture his victims, and just resorts to chasing them around.
The acting ranges from kind of bad to very good. Mark Patton does a really convincing job at conveying his torment and his performance keeps getting better and better throughout the film.
I think it deserves more love. It’s not fantastic, but is a very good followup to the first film in my opinion.
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Army of the Dead Patreon Sneak Peak Review
Jun 21, 2021
What a great time we had bashing this train wreck of a Zack Snyder movie. We go on and on with this one, head on over to our patreon and consider supporting us to gain access to the full review!
House of Wax (2005) Review
Jun 15, 2021
We watched House of Wax starring Elisha Cuthbert, Paris Hilton, and Robert Ri’chard (from Cousin Skeeter) and were treated to a fairly decent bit of gore porn. This was a patreon pick, so if you ever get the idea to recommend we review a movie, head over to our patreon and see all the goodies we offer to our most loyal of fans! We had Max from Screaming Cinema Podcast on this episode!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/Q-Akt68SGfE
Synopsis
House of Wax is based on a pretty simple premise and is a loose remake of the 1953 film of the same name.
A group of fun-loving but angsty teens find themselves stranded in the woods near a strange, small community which seems to center itself around a wax museum.
As the teens split up and try to find help in this sleepy community everyone seems to realize that the inhabitants aren’t as lively as they once thought
In the end, everyone gets more wax than they bargained for.
House of Wax was his directorial debut and is pretty good, all things considered. This effort is clearly inspired by early 2000’s exploitation gore/slashers like Sawand Wrong Turn.
Throwing Paris Hilton into the mix gave this movie a huge amount of momentum at the time because just like candle wax – “that’s hot”.
Unfortunately, House of Wax has a seemingly unlimited supply of rope to hang itself with. There is a tremendous amount of extraneous details that force us to wade through this 113 minute slog with no real rhyme or reason behind their inclusion.
Backstory and character development that doesn’t seem to matter. Character inclusion that is wholly unnecessary. Even chase sequences that are out of nowhere.
If the movie were a bit tighter I would be impressed with it, especially after considering the ending payout, which is impressive to say the least.
Ultimately, House of Wax was a decently fun movie that shot itself in the foot with the inclusion of a ton of extraneous content. Even so, the ending makes it worth the wait.
Score
6/10
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Cabin in the Woods Patreon Sneak Peak
Jun 12, 2021
We had a TON of fun reviewing one of the most meta horror movies ever made, Cabin in the Woods, by director Drew Goddard! This was a total blast.
If you would like to hear the full review, it will only be available on our Patreon at the “We all Spoop for Ice Spoop” tier. All proceeds go to making the show better and growing into a podcast that can support our families, so do consider this as us begging!
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It Review
Jun 09, 2021
The Conjuring The Devil Made Me Do It, or as I call it “TCTDMMDI” is the 8th movie in the Conjuring Cinematic Universe, or as I call it “The CCU”, and the second direct sequel to the original The Conjuring, and the 5th film in the series since anyone gave a fuck.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It Featured Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow him on Instagram @dgoebel00
https://youtu.be/h9Q4zZS2v1k
Synopsis
In this entry, Ed and Lorraine Warren are performing an exorcism on the young David Glatzel boy (Julian Hilliard), when oops, the demon is transferred over to Arne Cheyenne Johnson (Ruairi O’Connor) after he invites the demon to possess him instead. Everyone goes about their business like that didn’t just happen, and then Arne commits homicide, because, you guessed it, the devil made him do it.
The Warrens rush to investigate the evil origins of the possession to convince the rubes on the jury in time to save Arne from the death penalty.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It Poster
Review of The Conjuring 3
I’m a little torn on how to review this one. It’s right in line with the other Conjuring Movies, none of which are bad (in the main storyline), but none are particularly great to me. I was relieved to see that it wasn’t all based within one spooky-ookie house, so that was nice.
One of the things that gets annoying after a while is the repetitiveness of the setup of Lorraine being psychic and Ed being worried.
The story is interesting enough. There is enough mystery and revelations over time that kept me engaged.
The special effects and scares were a little lackluster. You’ve seen most of it before. Demon possessed children, evil rickety contortion, rotted corpse ghosts, etc. The new element that was the most interesting, that I wished they explored more of was the Satanic element, specifically playing into the 80’s era satanic panic. It’s a really interesting topic that would have been more interesting if they committed completely to it, rather than just using it as a story device.
Surprisingly, the whole premise of legally defending Arne on the basis demonic possession, is barely touched on. If you are expecting a courtroom drama, you will be disappointed.
That all being said, the movie as a whole is of a high enough quality to be grouped in with the first two Conjuring movies, which is a welcome relief after The Curse of La Llarona.
It really is unfortunate that they didn’t pick a lane and either focus on the court case of Arne, or focus on the Satanic Panic elements. While I appreciate that they finally left the haunted houses behind, It would have been nice to see a stronger departure from The Conjuring formula.
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A Quiet Place Part 2 Review
Jun 01, 2021
We went and saw A Quiet Place Part 2 and it was quiet and then VERY loud, and then quiet again. Always loud after quiet.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/BpdDN9d9Jio
Synopsis
A Quiet Place Part 2 picks the story up from exactly where we left off on A Quiet Place (2018) and progresses the story of the Abbott family who have just lost their father, Lee (John Krasinski).
The surviving members of the Abbott family consists of Mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt), deaf daughter (Millicent Simmonds), brother Marcus (Noah Jupe), and their little baby have to travel the landscape to find someplace safe to live.
Along the way, they meet their neighbor Emmett (Cillian Murphy) who has recently lost his whole family to the hoards of angry alien librarians.
As our rag-tag band of plucky survivors make their way through the apocalyptic landscape, everyone gets more quiet places than they bargained for.
Review
The first Quiet Place is a hard act to follow just about any way you cut it. Director, writer, star, and Pam-Pam enthusiast John Krasinski nailed it with the original movie in every way that counts.
This second installment does an admirable job of trying to follow in very quiet footsteps of the first, but like so many sophomore attempts, doesn’t catch the magic that the first had.
Magic or not, A Quiet Place Part 2 is a stellar monster movie thriller with a ton of action and a tight run time of 97 minutes. I was not bored during the movie, and it provided wonderful argument fodder for after the show.
I can honestly say that I will remember many of the incredibly loud and offensive jumpscares until the day I die.
This is really a movie to see in the grandiosity of a theater not only for the dynamic range of the audio, but because hearing a totally silent theater with many viewers in it is something of a spectacle in and of itself.
A Quiet Place Part 2 gave me my money’s worth and then some, and left me wondering how many installments they will be able to squeeze out of this audio-based entertainment.
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Train to Busan Review
May 26, 2021
We watched Train to Busan, and it was a bullet train to fun!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Train to Busan Trailer
https://youtu.be/pyWuHv2-Abk
Train to Busan can be found on Shudder as well as on Tubi and Crackle with ads.
Synopsis
This synopsis is very easy. While a father takes his and daughter to her mothers house in Busan, a widespread zombie outbreak spills onto their bullet train. Wacky hijinx ensue.
More detail?
I have a sense there is a reader that wants more detail.
The action starts with a reported leak in a biotech building starts spreading a zombie disease that makes zombies. The cynical workaholic protagonist is taking his daughter to Busan on the bullet train when chaos breaks out in the station. There is much confusion, but over time, it’s revealed that some of the infected have made their way onto the Train to Busan.
The super aggressive contortionist zombies start taking over the train until only a few small bands of survivors remain.
Like most zombie movies, there are many archetypal characters and dramatic relationships that explore all the implications of a zombie outbreak.
Good enough? Ok, let’s move on.
This is the poster to Train to Busan
Review of Train to Busan
I’m pretty jaded on zombie films. The variation of content in zombie movies only barely beats out the variation in content found in slashers. It’s a very simple premise. You set some simple human story with the backdrop of the zombie apocalypse. Rinse, repeat.
In rare occasions, there are uniquely new interpretations of this genre. This would be one of them. This one takes the runner zombies from 28 days later, and puts them on a train. Honestly in describing it, it sounds much less impressive. But nevertheless, this zombie film feels fresh and brings a new perspective to the same old story.
This film really excels at pacing. It’s not long, but zombie movies often feel like an eternity to me. This one kept me engaged throughout.
Since Night of the Living Dead, social commentary has been built into pretty much every zombie movie, and this one is no exception. However, it keeps it simple. Should you help people or not. You’ll have to watch the movie to find out which.
Did you know that there is a sequel to Train to Busan? No you didn’t. It’s called Peninsula. I don’t know anything about it, but thought I would mention it for SEO purposes. Leave a comment below to let us know if it’s worth watching.
Ma Dong-seok, who played the inimitable Sang-hwa in Train to Busan is starring in they upcoming MCU film The Eternals. It’s very exciting. I’m very excited. Let’s look into Ma Dong-seok’s career in film.
He is most well know for Train to Busan to American audiences, he also starred in The Neighbors , directed by none other than Hwi Kim. Isn’t that interesting?
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Spiral (2021) Review
May 19, 2021
We watched Spiral in theaters, and if you aren’t familiar, this is the latest chapter in the book of Saw movies and this is exactly what you think it might be after having learned that it’s a Saw movie.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/gzy6ORqE9IY
Synopsis
Spiral is a Saw movie from the perspective of the detectives on the case of the Jigsaw Killer. Chris Rock plays our classic burn-out detective Zeke Banks, who is constantly looking over his shoulder in the police force for having turned in a crooked cop over a decade ago.
Max Minghella plays William Schenk, the rookie Dick that gets paired with Zeke to tackle the case of what appears to be a copycat Jigsaw Killer, because at this point in the timeline the original Jigsaw (John Kramer) is dead.
The police force seems to have a problem with accountability at best and backstabbing murder at worst, and Zeke doesn’t like it. Zeke’s dad, Marcus (Samuel L. Jackson) is the, now retired police captain who used to manage this department.
This new Jigsaw killer seems to be trying to clean up the force by making ultimatums of crooked cops and detectives, forcing them into twisted games that make them choose between their body parts and life.
In the end everyone gets more pig than they bargained for.
Review
I’m not a big fan of the Saw franchise, but I don’t hate it either, it just doesn’t hold a place in my heart. While Spiral tries to give us a new take on the perspective from which a normal Saw movie is shot, it delivers a very on-brand Saw movie nonetheless.
There are four or five creative gore-porn situations that our characters find themselves in, and an edgy take on what it means to be the good guy or the bad guy in real life.
Casting
The casting is pretty impressive for a Saw movie, with Rock and Jackson stealing the show as themselves, but I don’t feel like they were utilized as well as they could have been.
Rock had some great moments in Spiral, but they were few and far between. I wish we could have seen more clever takes from one of the most quick witted and interesting comedians of our time, but that didn’t end up happening.
The story in Spiral was solid and not overly convoluted. I do feel like the places where I’m not as happy with this movie as I could have been are the directors fault. Darren Lynn Bousman who directed Saw II, Saw III, and Saw IV, chose some shots and deliveries on the editing room floor that I am certain could have been better.
Overall Spiral is a pretty good installment in the franchise, I’m just not the target audience, but I would say that if you hear “Saw” and get excited, this might be your favorite movie of the year.
Score
6/10
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Poltergeist (1982) Review
May 12, 2021
One of the best and most influential family-based haunted house movies. Poltergeist still holds up in terms of story and special effects.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Poltergeist Trailer
https://youtu.be/9eZgEKjYJqA
Poltergeist can be found places
Synopsis
From the director that brought you cannibalistic families in Texas, Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist is the story of the Freeling family being tormented by an unseen force in their totally not built over a cemetery house. Just kidding, it’s obviously Spielberg’s film. The Freelings are an aggressively all american family comprised of the father Steve (Craig T. Nelson), mother Dianne (JoBeth Williams), almost non-existent teenage girl Dana (Dominique Dunne), young boy Robbie (Oliver Robins), and the littlest, and most angelic little girl, Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke). Carol Anne starts talking to the TV, and not the wholesome Blues Clues kind of talking, more of the talking to whispers in the static kind of talking.
Weird occurrences start happening, at first to the delight, and then to the horror of that family when it ramps up and the house steals Carol Anne into the netherworld.
A Haggard Steven Freeling recruits paranormal investigators and the worlds tiniest psychic to get Carol Anne back and Exorcise the demons from their house.
Poltergeist Poster
Review of Poltergeist
I am unapologetic in my love for this movie. It really is a template for family-based haunted house horror. It really has something for everyone. It’s accessible enough to general audiences that don’t want to see gore, or be constantly scared out of their gourd, but it has enough scares and good special effects to satisfy most horror fanatics.
On the scale of Ghostbusters to Exorcist, Poltergeist definitely leans more towards Ghostbusters, but it matches the quality of both in my opinion. This is another example of Spielberg being a master storyteller. There is very little fluff in this finely paced film, but there are a constant stream of little vignettes that add character, humor, or realism to the story.
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The Bad Seed (1956) Review
May 05, 2021
We watched The Bad Seed (1956) and it was a lot slower than I remembered it being but knowing it was a stage play first, it kind of makes sense.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/fZt7gtFiVJk
Synopsis
The Bad Seed can be found for rent on Amazon, or anywhere you rent movies online.
The Bad Seed is a story about a little girl, Rhoda Penmark (Patty McCormack) who may have been born bad, with no conscience, empathy, or soul.
Rhoda’s mom, Christine (Nancy Kelly) learns of a death at her daughter’s school picnic. The Daigle boy, who died, just happens to have been the same young man that beat little Rhoda at the penmanship competition.
Rhoda seems unconcerned and even a bit peckish following the death of her classmate.
As the story unravels we learn about more and more mysterious deaths that seem to have occurred in Rhoda’s presence, and everyone gets more evil child than they bargained for.
As a result, it feels a bit like a stageplay, which by today’s standards means that it feels a little fluffy in areas.
At the core of the movie is a mystery of how Rhoda got to be this way, was she born evil, or did Christine and her husband raise her wrong? The movie preys on a parents innate fear of being unable to bring their child back from completely unacceptable behavior.
The way The Bad Seed handles tension works quite well, even by today’s standards. The conversations about Rhoda and what is to be done with her continue to escalate the feeling of unease.
This is a character driven movie, and all of the actors chewed up the set in their respective roles. From precocious Rhoda, to suspicious Leroy, and even Rhoda’s teacher, the characters and dialog are what make this movie very similar to a play.
The Bad Seed is incredibly slow by today’s standards, and a lot of the dialog winds its way in and out of being useful or progression the story.
One thing that everyone will agree on is Patty McCormack steals this show and sets the standard for one of the biggest tropes in horror movie history – the evil child.
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Horror Movie Talk Trailer
Apr 30, 2021
This is simply an introduction to the Horror Movie Talk podcast.
In The Earth Review
Apr 28, 2021
No, not the woods, nothing good ever happens in the woods..
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/2YYnSJF0fcY
In The Earth Trailer
In The Earth can be found in theaters now for probably one more week.
Synopsis
Martin Lowry, played by Joel Fry, leaves behind COVID quarantine to help with important scientific work in the woods. He will be working with his Ex, and she is studying forest rave science or something. Martin is led through the woods by Alma, played by Ellora Torchia, who is a capable young woman that side-eyes Martin’s lack of hiking skills.
Things don’t go well.
In the Earth Poster
Review of In The Earth
This movie had two speeds. Slow and measured, and Intense skull fucking. It has a lot going for it, Great acting performances, a unique story, and crazy hobos. I went in with no expectations, and was pleasantly surprised by an engaging, and entertaining Lovecraftian story.
It’s an interesting mix of Midsommar, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and intense foot trauma.
Score
7/10
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Annabelle Review
Apr 21, 2021
The original Annabelle, while not an audience favorite, is one of my favorites in The Conjuring franchise because it is bare bones scary. It takes the scary doll concept, and does something kind of new with it.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/paFgQNPGlsg
Synopsis
Annabelle follows a new family of Mia (Annabelle Wallis) who is a pregnant homemaker in the 60’s, and John (Ward Horton) who is a new doctor at a hospital. John gets the Annabelle doll for Mia, who is a doll collector as a present, and very soon the couple find themselves with more doll than they bargained for!
The Annabelle doll seems to attract bad luck at best and demons and killers at worst. As the family finds themselves constantly the target of misfortune and terror they begin to realize that the doll is at the center of the horrors being inflicted on them.
The family reaches out for help to the local priest, who is surprisingly well versed in dealing with “demons and shit”, and he tells them that the doll basically is a lieutenant of hell and wants to grab their newborn’s soul for satan.
I don’t get the hate for this movie, I think it’s one of the strongest in The Conjuring franchise, and does a great job with disturbing themes and spooky jumpscares. Annabelle does an admirable job of keeping tension high and the scares are legit. The two real issues I take with this film are the rather lackluster ending and the total lack of levity or humor.
If you are looking for a good, formulaic horror movie, Annabelle fits that bill nicely.
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Dead Alive (Braindead) Patreon Sneak Peek
Apr 19, 2021
We had a TON of fun reviewing one of the most insane horror movies ever made, Dead Alive (Braindead), by director Peter Jackson! This was a total blast.
If you would like to hear the full review, it will only be available on our Patreon at the “We all Spoop for Ice Spoop” tier. All proceeds go to making the show better and growing into a podcast that can support our families, so do consider this as us begging!
The Unholy (2021) Review
Apr 14, 2021
Mary is scary. Not the virgin Mary, I’m talking about a different switcheroo Mary. This film ends up being an interesting idea poorly executed.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/1Uog4AeVdIk
The Unholy is in theaters now.
Synopsis
A disgraced journalist Gerry, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is sent out to a small town to investigate cattle mutilations. When he finds out the story is a fraud, he scrambles to salvage it by creating his own false narrative. While there, he inadvertently stumbles into the story of a lifetime when a deaf and dumb girl named Alice, played by Cricket Brown, is visited by Mary and is now able to hear and talk for her. As the story spreads thousands flock to witness the miracles that Mary continues to perform. When bad things start happening, Gerry starts to wonder whether it’s the virgin Mary or some other more nefarious Mary that fucks.
Leprechaun in the Hood Poster
Review of The Unholy
This one is a hard one to review for me. There are a lot of things that I like about it. I love the religious theme of good being deceived by Evil. The bones are really great in this story, however, it’s dragged down by ham-handed dialogue and mediocre acting.
You know how some TV shows get exported to other countries and remade with that country’s language and actors? Like when the Everybody Loves Raymond concept is remade over in Russia, or when the US remade the Office. This movie feels like a better Hollywood movie was remade in a foreign country and then was remade in the US. Like if you put something through Google translate and then back into English. It all makes sense, seems really simplistic, and something is slightly off.
That being said, I do think there was some creativity with some shots and the creature design was good.
As far as scares, it relies heavily on jump scares. Some of which are very effective.
I want to like it more, but it was very predictable and I was bothered by the dialogue and acting.
Score
4/10
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Godzilla vs Kong Review
Apr 07, 2021
Godzilla vs Kong is a complicated, mind bending thriller that will have you asking what is real. It’s got me wondering if movies will ever be the same again.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/odM92ap8_c0
Synopsis
The story starts with an attack by Godzilla upon a private megacorp out of Pensacola, Florida, called Apex. It seems that he has turned from a good ultra-monster to a bad one, and everyone is very concerned about it.
The leading mind scientists in the world decide that earth’s only hope is to take Kong out of his enclosure on Spider-Skull island to do battle with Godzilla.
Shit starts to go sideways when Monke realizes he can’t swim, and everyone gets more big bonk energy than they bargained for.
Review
There is no way to prepare the audience for Godzilla vs Kong. All we can do is tell you to find a table, get under it, and start blowing mud in your big boy pants. Once your pants are full, pray that society will mend itself before you have to throw your own turds at the biggest monkey you’ve ever seen.
Honestly, there is nothing that I can say that you don’t already know. Even if all you know is the title of this movie, you know everything.
There is either a gigantic hole in your life that only monkey punches can fill, or there isn’t.
I’m not going to lie, I liked this movie more than I thought I would. This is a hard movie to quantify because it’s so obvious in so many ways.
On the other hand, none of them give a good performance in this, and are as melba toast boring as you can possibly imagine.
But, Godzilla does fight with King fucking Kong.
The sound design is unbelievable, and this whole movie seems like one big Dolby display for massive crunching and roaring sounds, which could be a drawback if you are looking to sip some wine and fall asleep on the couch.
So, you have a choice ahead of you. You can watch this movie and be pummeled by monster fights the likes of which you’ve never seen before, or you can save yourself two hours and pretend like you saw this movie and no one will ever be able to tell the difference.
I will say that this felt pretty similar to The Meg, but now all I can think is who would win if Godzilla and Kong fought the Meg.
Score
4/10
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The Thing (1982) Review
Mar 31, 2021
The Thing is the thingiest thing that ever thinged.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/5ftmr17M-a4
The Thing is available for rent on all the places.
Synopsis
The Thing takes place in an Antarctic research station, where they are studying… snow or something. Their sleepy routine is broken when a dog with shifty eyes appears while being chased by crazed Norwegians with guns in a helicopter. It turns out that the dog with shifty eyes is some sort of evil…thing. When the researchers discover that the dog has turned into a tentacle monster, they start to become suspicious.
The thing turns out to be an alien that can imitate any animal or man exactly. When the researchers can’t identify which of them is human or thing, everyone, as gen Z says, becomes sus.
Leprechaun in the Hood Poster
Review of The Thing
I went into this thinking great ANOTHER remake. What was wrong with the 1951 original? Well, this one won me over.
Just kidding, The Thing is The Thing. It stands as one of the best practical effects horror films of the 80s, which is saying a lot. The story has tension baked in, and John Carpenter sucks every drop of tension out of it.
The character development is pretty thin, but you end up rooting for Kurt Russell to win, because he’s Kurt Russell. Overall, the cast is great, and the acting is excellent.
The two main characters though, are the snow and the thing. The thing is one of the best monsters in horror, and lends itself to unlimited creativity when it comes to horrific appearances. The practical effects and puppetry are the things of a hentai addicts wet dream. It is really disturbing and surreal whenever the thing attacks or goes through a transformation.
It’s one of the tentpoles of the genre, and is a must watch for any horror fan.
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The Wolf of Snow Hollow Review
Mar 24, 2021
We saw The Wolf of Snow Hollow and were pleasantly surprised by a character driven movie with more good acting than I’ve seen in a while. The Wolf of Snow Hollow is a slice of life, horror-comedy that transforms from a mild mannered movie into a hairy, scary thriller that will rip you to shreds.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/q03zOoH-hGo
Synopsis
The quiet life in a small mountain town is disrupted when bodies are discovered mutilated in gruesome fashion.
This story follows officer Marshall who has been struggling with alcoholism, and gaining respect from his co-workers, father, and his daughter.
Each time the body count rises, it’s a full moon, which leads the townsfolk to suspect a werewolf. It also adds increasing stress to officer Marshall who seems certain that it’s just a very large man, but no one seems to respect his opinion.
As the tension rises, so does the volume as officer Marshall seems to believe that shouting at everyone is the best way to lead, but in the end, everyone gets more wolf than they bargained for.
Review
I knew nothing about The Wolf of Snow Hollow when I started watching it, and found myself delighted at the writing, acting, and characters within this comedic, horror/thriller.
This is the second feature length directorial credit to Jim Cummings name, and it has placed him in the upper echelon of up-and-comers that I will be watching for the next few years.
As it happens, Jim Cummings plays our imperfect protagonist, which is great because he is a total hunk. My wife walked into the room as I was watching this and had a hard time remembering my name, which is fine because I couldn’t remember it either.
The small-town characters are straight out of Groundhog Day and the banter is both charming and real.
The lack of respect that is paid to officer Marshall echoes how I imagine everyone feels in their life as they try to prove themselves competent and worthwhile in a sea of people who only want to put them down.
While this was not a tongue-in-cheek comedy, like Butt Boy, it feels like a slice of life.
The incredible brutality of the murders are offset by some very fun and lighthearted moments for the first two acts before The Wolf of Snow Hollow takes a deadly serious turn in the final act.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow is a very relatable and well-made movie that just happens to feature some very tense moments. It’s more fun than I bargained for, and the twist is quite good once you put together what it all means for all the characters involved.
Score
9/10
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Leprechaun in the Hood Review
Mar 17, 2021
It’s Lep in the hood, and he’s up to no good. No seriously, it’s pretty bad.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/40P3TYKEdKA
Leprechaun in the Hood can be found streaming on ad supported Peacock, and for rent everywhere else.
Synopsis
Leprechaun in the Hood can be found streaming for free with ads on Peacock or available for rent wherever.
Leprechaun in the Hood, or “Lep in the Hood” if you’re cool, is the fifth entry in the Leprechaun series about an evil Leprechaun. This time he’s in the hood. The Leprechaun played by Warwick Davis is awakened inadvertently when his gold doubloons, magic flute, and necklace are stolen by three aspiring terrible rappers from a pimp/music producer played by Ice-T.
Leprechaun in the Hood Poster
Review of Leprechaun in the Hood
You should know what you are getting into when you watch a fifth sequel to a straight to video franchise. This is not a good movie per se, but it can be enjoyable. This movie enters the realm of so bad it’s good. The cheap production design, bad acting, and the aggressively corny rhyming dialogue all make this to be a great movie to mock with friends. It’s also entertainingly out of date and worth a watch this St Patrick’s Day in my opinion, just know what you’re getting into.
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Butt Boy Review
Mar 10, 2021
We watched Butt Boy, and to be honest, it’s simultaneously exactly what you think it is and nothing like you’ve ever seen.
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https://youtu.be/0sRvZ8siWLY
Synopsis
Butt Boy is the story of Chip (Tyler Cornack), a disaffected man in his midlife, and Russ (Tyler Rice), a greasy detective with a drinking habit.
Chip realizes one day that his life is missing something – killing innocent people and animals for his own perverse enjoyment.
Chip realized he has gone too far when he kills a little baby. He swears off killing and joins Alcoholics Anonymous to find the support he needs to help quell his addiction.
Nine years later Chip meets Detective Gutchell at his weekly AA meeting and becomes his sponsor.
Subsequently, Chip is spurred to kill again by Detective Gutchell’s stories of his love of alcohol, and the high it gets him. What Chip doesn’t realize is that Detective Gutchell is the man assigned to the missing boy case – the very boy Chip killed.
What ensues is a terrifying game of cat and mouse, will Chip keep killing? Will Detective Gutchell crack the case?
Now, every iteration of the word “kill” above and replace it with “shoving things and people up his butt” and you have Butt Boy.
Butt Boy is an incredibly funny movie by writer/director/lead actor Tyler Conack came up with. It’s deadpan delivery and serious tone lend such an air of sophistication to such an incredibly absurd premise that all you can do is laugh.
This movie takes deadly serious topics of serial killing and detective work and throws the biggest wrench it possibly can into the works, to see what happens when shit gets real.
Butt Boy takes a color-drenched neo-noir world with serious characters and forces the most emotionally vacant character to enjoy shoving things, animals, and people up his butt so much that he becomes a serial butt-shover.
But my enjoyment goes so far beyond the delivery and the premise of Butt Boy. When you start to realize what is happening, that a grown man can somehow cram picture frames, and dogs into his butt the movie starts to force you to ask, “”Is he going to shove that up his butt?” every time Chip looks at something a little too long.
The tension is Butt Boy is handled with deadly seriousness and for some reason it works.
The name works against and for the movie. I’ll say this, it makes it really difficult to convince people that they should watch it, and they should. But when they do start watching it, they will immediately ask, “is that butt boy?” or “is butt boy going to put that up his butt?” or “no butt boy, don’t put that up your butt!”
I have to say, after having watched Young Frankenstein recently, it’s astonishing to see how far genre comedy has come in 50 years. It’s become simultaneously so sophisticated and so crass that I have to laugh.
Score
8/10
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Society Review
Mar 03, 2021
Society is gory goopy 80s fun. This film should be at the top of your watch list if you are a fan of body horror.
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https://youtu.be/inrBU8juGI8
Society can be found streaming on Amazon Prime and Tubi for free, and for rent everywhere else.
Synopsis
Society is about 17 year old Bill Whitney (Billy Warlock) who has a sneaking suspicion that something is strange about his upper class family. Plagued by grotesque visions, he turns to his therapist for answers, but is reassured that he is just hallucinating. His suspicions don’t go away, and a series of freak accidents follow him whenever he is close to getting answers. In the end, he gets more Society than he bargained for.
Society Poster
Review of Society
Society is probably one of the most well known body horror movies because of the last 30 minutes. If you want goopy eighties body horror, this is your movie, but be advised that you can probably skip the first hour. This is a movie that feels like it could have been a short film. There is really nothing going on in the first hour other than a teenager feeling suspicious. Overall, it’s goofy and tasteless fun, but I just wish there was more to it.
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My Bloody Valentine (1981) Review
Feb 23, 2021
My Bloody Valentine is another slasher from the early slasher days, where the formula is generic, the kills are frequent, and there’s probably a boob floating around out there for the dudes in the audience.
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https://youtu.be/YYHWUP_FKQU
Synopsis
My Bloody Valentine is the story of a small mining town in the rural US in the early 80’s. This town is celebrating Valentines day for the first time in 20 years.
The town is full of young couples who plan on partying during their new Valentines celebration.
But everyone seems to have forgotten the reason why this town didn’t celebrate Valentines, because on this day many years ago there was a terrible min accident that left a man named Harry Warden crazy and seeking revenge every February 14th.
Everyone ends up with more candy hearts than they bargained for.
Review
My Bloody Valentine got in near the ground floor of the slasher craze in 1981. This is the same year thatFriday the 13th Part 2 and Halloween 2 were released.
It was directed by George Mihalka, and manages to be a better than average slasher.
My Bloody Valentine has a few things going for it:
Unfortunately it just doesn’t set itself apart from the vast array of other slashers very well. For it’s time it was a head above the rest of the competition, and probably one of the most notable slashers behind the big boys.
However, today My Bloody Valentine just doesn’t have any memorable moments that make it undeniable.Sleepaway Camp is so over the top and crazy with the pedophiles, and shocking conclusion that it stakes out a spot in your memory. My Bloody Valentine is full of nostalgia, but that’s not enough.
Score
5/10
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Saint Maud Review
Feb 17, 2021
We went and saw Saint Maud, and Oh god, Oh God, Oh gooood!
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https://youtu.be/EXs2-TY9qok
Saint Maud can be found on Epix streaming and on Region b/2 bluray.
Synopsis
Saint Maud is about a devout christian English nurse named Maud played by Morfydd Clark, who takes a job as an in house hospice nurse for an American ex-pat Amanda, played by Jennifer Ehle. Amanda is an ex-dancer/choreographer of some fame, that still holding onto as much drama and vanity as she can in her final moments. Maud becomes enamoured with Amanda and quickly takes her on as her personal project to save her soul before she dies.
Maud starts off looking like a typical naive, but earnest believer, but soon is eventually revealed as a dangerously unhinged zealot.
Review of Saint Maud
This is my type of movie. It’s another film suggested by hard fucker Dustin Goebel.
It is the best example of a slow burn. While not the same thing at all, this is the infinitely better version of “I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House”. Unlike the aforementioned, the pacing is excellent. There is plenty of room given for character development and for things to unfold in a very natural way. Without much hand holding, you are given everything you need to know to unravel the puzzle that is Maud. If it weren’t for a couple disturbing flashbacks in the beginning of the film, you would never expect that this would be a horror movie.
It really is impressive how off balance this film kept me. It felt like it could have gone in dozens of different directions. I think I would have been satisfied with any of them, because I was thoroughly on-board by the mid point of the movie. The last act really ups the tension because of the uncertainty of how it is going to end, and when it comes it is deeply disturbing and satisfying. I highly recommend seeing this movie. It’s up there with anything by Ari Aster or Robert Eggars.
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Pieces Review
Feb 10, 2021
We watched Pieces on Shudder, and it was a fun if extremely dated slasher from 1982. It’s got intensely awkward scenes, lots of nudity, and is the ultimate form of copycat slasher bullshit. Listen to Horror Movie Talk’s take on this fun and puzzling slasher.
Pieces starts with a young boy putting a smutty puzzle together. His mom walks in on him fiddling around with this puzzle and does what any good mom would do; she flips out. The boy leaves and comes back within ten seconds wielding an ax that he uses to murder the bejesus out of his mom. This supposedly happens in the 1940s, which is weird because I don’t know for sure, but I imagine it was remarkably hard to get your hands on a smut puzzle from the ’80s in the ’40s.
We fast forward in time 40 years to a university that is having some issues with a grizzly series of chainsaw murders. The movie transforms into a who done it with plenty of potential suspects that could be the shadowy killer who seemingly only targets attractive, naked co-eds.
Pieces wants to be a fun, funny, cult slasher, and to some extent it is. It tried so hard to cash in on the early slasher craze that it actually ends up being a fun, funny, cult slasher because of how hard it falls on its face. It is good because it’s bad, and it’s funny because it’s not. Gratuitousness and bad irony are what rules the day in Pieces, and I had a pretty fun time watching this.
My Rating
3/10
On paper, this movie is a solid 2/10, but somehow, through silly bullshit and charm, it edges it’s way up into a pretty watchable piece of camp fun.
Spoiler for Pieces
In the opening where the little boy kills his mom, the goof-factor is already off the charts. How did this boy make it to ten years old without already killing his mom? So much about this scene is silly that I immediately knew I was in for a good time.
When the police entered the room where the boy murdered his mother, they found her severed head in the closet, and I laughed out loud at how alive the actor who played his mother was behind that dresser. I think I saw her eyes move.
Cutting up your mom really can take it out of you.
The stars of Pieces are all B movie and TV actors, with the only two actors of any real note being Lynda Day George (Mary Riggs, the hot undercover cop/tennis player) and Christopher George (Lt. Bracken who looks an awful lot like a young Roger Moore).
There was a lot of audio dubbing and voice over work in this movie, which was distracting at first, but after some time it just added to the campiness of it.
Weird Storytelling
The who done it aspect of Pieces is only interesting enough for you to say, “Hey, they are trying to do some sort of Clue ripoff.” However, then you would be terribly wrong because Clue didn’t hit theaters until three years later in 1985 – silly you. The story is very heavy-handed in its suggestion that the antagonist is Professor Arthur Brown, which leads you to believe that it’s probably him.
Professor Brown is in charge of the Anatomy Dept. and is always sneaking around where he shouldn’t be.
It also insinuates that the killer might be the beefy groundskeeper with the shifty eyes who enjoys stroking his chainsaw when he isn’t raking the grounds of the University or shiftily shifting his eyes.
Shifty eyed groundskeepers are prime chainsaw massacre suspects…duh.
Pool Sex?
At one point in Pieces, a girl asks one of the lead characters, Kendall, if he wants to have sex in the school pool. He answers in the affirmative, then becomes sidelined by a plot point. As she waits for him in the pool, she is murdered, which is a good thing because let me just say, you should never have sex in a pool.
Not only is pool sex gross for everyone else who has to use the pool after you, but it can also cause some nasty UTI’s and other infections that can mess up your system for weeks, maybe months. This girl is extremely lucky that she was killed before having sex in the pool.
Insane Deaths
The deaths in Pieces are ridiculous to the point of being hilarious. Some of the ways that people die in Pieces are:
Skateboarding through a mirror
Chainsaw in the pool room
Chainsaw in the garden
Chainsaw in the elevator
Waterbed stabbing
Ax to the noggin
Death by pool skimmer
Death by dick grab
Pieces also include a tremendous amount of what is almost stock-footage-level boring shots and scenes. Some of the most notable boring bologna that you will have to sit through includes:
Stock Footage Bonanza
The killer solving a smutty puzzle
Jazzercise
The lowest energy tennis match I’ve ever seen at any level, let alone “pro” level
Boring chit chat
The ending of this movie reminded me of the 2018 The House That Jack Built ending. The lousy Dean was building a corpse replica of his mother out of the PIECES of his victims. It made me wonder if The House That Jack Built was paying some respect to this somewhat lovable piece of shit
In the end, it was that LOUSY DEAN!
https://youtu.be/k-LCw4CGIV8?t=34
Hard to Enjoy
I wanted to review Pieces because we had such a great time reviewing Sleepaway Camp that I wanted to try and recapture that. I don’t feel as fondly about Pieces as I do about Sleepaway Camp, but I can’t quite pinpoint why. It has something to do with the stock footage and the lack of care or empathy that I had for any of the boring characters in Pieces.
Pieces is a movie to get drunk or high to, a movie to eat pizza to, a movie to talk over. It’s campy, it’s fun, it’s bad. It’s even got aggressive Kung-Fu. If you like any of those things, check it out on Shudder or Amazon.
Young Frankenstein Review
Feb 03, 2021
This week we rewatched Mel Brooks’ comedy horror masterpiece, Young Frankenstein, and with the recent passing of Cloris Leachman, I’m starting to think that the cast are immortal warriors battling until the last man standing ala Highlander. It looks like Gene Hackman and Terry Garr are setting their sights on each other.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Finally we review a comedy horror classic. Next up, Dracula, Dead and Loving It.
https://youtu.be/ZL9Q_0JtMNA
It can inexplicably only be found on Starz subscription as of this recording.
Young Frankenstein Synopsis
Young Frankenstein is a satire remake of the Universal Frankenstein movies. It stars Gene Wilder as Frederick Frankenstein, the grandson of the infamous mad scientist Victor Frankenstein that created a monster out of dead flesh. This YOUNGER Frankenstein, seeks to distance himself from the infamy of his family, but finds himself being driven by destiny to follow in his grandfather’s Vootshteps. Along the way he is assisted by Marty Feldman as Igor the stock minion that comes with his family castle, Cloris Leachman as Frau Blucher the housekeeper, and Terri Garr as Inga the lab assistant. The cast is rounded out by Frankenstein’s fiancee Elizabeth played by Madeline Kahn and the monster played by Peter Boyle.
Young Frankenstein is a loving homage to the Universal horror movies of the 30’s and a lot of care is taken to match the look and feel of the original Frankenstein. But more to the point, the film is a platform to make dick jokes while playing on man’s greatest fear: Germans.
Review of Young Frankenstein
Mel Brooks, who directed and cowrote with Wilder sees Young Franknestein as his best film, and third funniest behind Blazing Saddles and The Producers (Both starring Gene Wilder coincidentally). I would agree with that. As an homage to black and white gothic horror, and specifically the 1931 original, this film hits dead center on target. However, a resulting downside is that the pacing matches the slow and measured progression of its source material.
The cast of Young Frankenstein is perfect, and each are excellent comedians in their own rights, but Gene Wilder stands head and shoulders above the rest of the cast with a pitch perfect mad scientist that swings from mania to bottled rage. Watching him in this film is a master class on silence and timing in comedy.
There are a ton of jokes and gags, that are as funny and juvenile as you would expect from any Brooks film, but most of the laughs come from the line delivery and reactions of the amazing cast.
Score
9/10
Young Frankenstein
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The Dark and the Wicked Review
Jan 27, 2021
We have been told that we needed to see The Dark and the Wicked by several of our friends and listeners, and I can see why. This is a scary movie if paranormal subject matter is your thing.
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The Dark and the Wicked is the story of a family of grown, adult children Louise (Marin Ireland) and Michael (Michael Abbott Jr.), and their aging parents.
Their mother (Julie Oliver-Touchstone) has been taking care of their father (Michael Zagst) whose health is failing leaving him non-responsive and bedridden. Mom has also been doing her best to take care of the family farm, in an unmentioned American rural area somewhere in the heartland.
The kids are back at home trying to help their mother with the care of their ailing father.
Mom seems to be haunted by something that creeps onto the property at night, and begs her children to leave.
As the story progresses we begin to learn about the family’s lack of faith and everyone gets more dark and wicked shit than they bargained for.
Review
This movie was Directed by Bryan Bertino, who was the writer and director for The Strangers and Producer for The Blackcoat’s Daughter, this is similar and ambiance to those movies. It was released in November of 2020.
The Dark and the Wicked is a serious movie that doesn’t offer a lot in the way of light moments or levity of any kind. It starts serious and spooky, and does a good job of keeping that ramp going until the end. It felt a lot like The Lodge from 2020, in it’s super serious tone.
The settings are bleak and run-down, and the characters are sad and in a state of mourning almost constantly. Add to that, there is something that seems to be preying on this family and trying to tear them apart, and you have a movie that might not be for everyone.
With that being said, we here at HMT are pretty jaded but this set my spook detector off more than a few times.
The imagery is disturbing. The scares are not always easy to feel coming, and there are a few scenes that made me distinctly uncomfortable.
The Dark and the Wicked is a strong entry into the paranormal horror sub-genre and is a must-see for anyone who really needs to be subjected to unpleasantness.
Score
8/10
Final Recommendations
This is a paranormal fan’s dream come true. It’s also pretty great for anyone who enjoys possession movies.
Jaws Review
Jan 20, 2021
Jaws is the archetypal monster movie blockbuster, and for good reason, It’s great! Spielberg and the principle actors do a fantastic job of capturing the dread and dangers of the sea and the eponymous shark.
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Patrons voted, and we rewatched Jaws, and if you don’t like this movie, you don’t like movies.
https://youtu.be/U1fu_sA7XhE
Jaws can be found on HBO Max as of this recording, and any where else you rent movies.
Jaws Synopsis
Jaws is about the origins of one of the most popular James Bond Henchmen. We learn about how he gained his signature steel teeth and brute strength in this emotional coming of age tale.
That’s not the Jaws YOU watched?
OH JAWS. The shark film by that up and comer Stevie Spielberg? OK, I’ve seen that, we can talk about that instead.
That movie is based on the Peter Benchley novel of the same name about a huge killer Great White Shark terrorizing the island community of Amity.
Review of Jaws
Jaws is Jaws. It’s pretty much the shark movie, every other shark movie is compared to, and for good reason, it’s the best one! There are many imitators, but none live up to its example. This film is great at portraying a known, but not fully respected actual killing machine. But what makes the movie great is the skill of the direction, and the great acting of the principle cast.
Score
10/10
Jaws
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Our patrons decided that it was time for us to review Hellhouse LLC, and frankly, I’m not even mad. This is a found footage movie about a Halloween spookhouse from 2015 and it does a pretty great job at unnerving me late at night.
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Five years after a disaster at a local spookhouse known as Hellhouse LLC where 15 people lost their lives, a documentary crew goes back to the scene to try and determine what really happened.
What they learn is that a group of young but somewhat experienced spookhouse creators bought the abandoned Abaddon hotel, which they planned to make into a spookhouse for the Halloween season.
Good news for the documentary crew – the Hellhouse LLC crew decided to take video footage of their whole project from beginning to end.
The premise at the start is that it’s a documentary, which draws my attention quite well. At some point it seems to shift into a first-person perspective of the Hellhouse Crew. and then it remains that way for almost the entire rest of the movie.
This includes buying the Abaddon hotel, and trying to make it safe enough, clean enough, and scary enough to be a Halloween destination.
As the group fix up the hotel, they also live there, because otherwise the cost-benefit-analysis doesn’t add up, and as you might imagine, it gets weird.
This prop clown keeps showing up all over the house and it seems like there might be someone else living there.
As Halloween draws nearer, they start to lose it, and end up with more Hellhouse than they bargained for.
Review
Hellhouse LLC and both sequels, were written and directed by the same guy, Stephen Cognetti.
I immediately was hooked because it was a better-than-average found footage movie from the outset of the movie. The thing that struck me immediately was how they kept talking about “the incident” as though it was this astonishingly terrifying occurrence, and it sucked me in from there.
Almost the entire movie is set within this already spooky place that they are fixing up to be even spookier, so the set almost always includes weird imagery and backdrops.
The characters are jaded enough to be believable in their ability to live in such a place, which makes the premise solid enough to be believable.
Really, Hellhouse LLC boils down to a solid premise with a very scary setting and a lot of hype.
Ultimately the payout at the end is pretty intense, but I can see how some might be underwhelmed when it’s been built up so much by the documentary portion of this film.
In terms of scary movies, this is one to me, and that’s something of an accomplishment in itself.
Score
8/10
Final Recommendations
If you enjoy found footage horror, Hellhouse LLC is one of the good ones. I would also recommend this to anyone who digs on clown related horror – blech!
Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2020: The Talkies
Jan 06, 2021
This week we are having a different kind of show. This show we are looking back at the delightsome year that was 2020, and awarding the best and worst of Horror Movie Talk.
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Best ad
Ju-on (The Grudge)
Gators ade (Crawl)
Blumhouses The Brady Bunch (Fantasy Island)
Donald Deadly Doll Emporium (Brahms: The Boy 2)
Paganism (The Wicker Man)
Virginity Incorporated (It Follows)
The Company (Alien)
Wormhole to go (Event Horizon)
Sincorporated: Hedonism (Seven)
Jigsaw’s Seesaws (Saw)
Anti-Santa Home Defense (Better Watch Out)
Best new drop
Chompa Chompa (Crawl)
Bye Bye Man (Bye Bye Man)
Oh Hey Ho, a Squirrel (Wrong Turn)
Tits, Boobs, Boobies…Machines (Wrong Turn)
Paganism (The Wicker Man)
Drain Addict slew
Candy Man Song (The Candy Man)
It’s thick (Around Scream)
Can I see one Titty? (Ghost Ship)
Ew David (Friday the 13th part 2?)
Best new Bit
FNict or Fcagetion
Don’t Blank on The Blank (CAndyman)
BAconator (Tremors)
Horror Movie or Frankie MacDonald
Guess That Death (The Exorcist)
Horror Movie Whoooores (Event Horizon)
Christmas Wishlist by Country Living (Krampus)
Best Guest
Garrett (Event Horizon)
Erin (Trick R Treat)
Brad (Rats)
David’s Mom (Rosemary’s Baby)
Magnus (Bye Bye Man (Bryce))
Marc (Alien)
Dustin (Possessor)
Best Interview
JJ Villard (Friday the 13th)
Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street)
Cat Solen (It Follows)
Derek Carl and Hank Huffman (The Brain that Wouldn’t Die)
Looking through the scores we’ve given for all the movies we’ve reviewed, it was interesting to see where we agreed and disagreed.
Perfect 10s
All of these films received a perfect 10/10 score from both Bryce and David.
Alien
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Exorcist
Seven
Possessor Uncut
Rosemary’s Baby
The Blair Witch Project
Lowest Scored
These were the lowest scoring movies, including our first movie to receive a 1/10 from both of us (Rats).
The Bye Bye Man
Event Horizon
Terror Train
Rats
Biggest Discrepancies in Scores
The Lodge (David=9, Bryce=4)
Host (2020) (David=4, Bryce=9)
Best Co-Host
David Day
Bryce Hanson
Terror Train Review
Dec 30, 2020
Terror Train is slasher set on a train during New Years Eve. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/MLTllP-_i58
Synopsis
It’s set in an alternate universe where people celebrate new years, by chartering a train for an eyes wide shut style costume party fuck fest, people never disclose pertinent life and death information, and David Copperfield is sexy.
At the opening of the film, we are introduced to a group of friends including the ring leader Doc (Hart Bochner), and a sorority sister, and final girl expert Jamie Lee Curtis playing Alana. By the way, this was shot only a year after the release of Jamie’s breakout role in Halloween.
The beginning of the movie is set 3 years prior, on a fateful new years celebration where this group of friends punk-ed a fraternity pledge student so hard that he spun himself into an insane asylum.
3 Years later, during the train ride, the students start getting murdered by a mysterious… almost magical killer.
Review or Terror Train
I picked Terror Train because I was trying to find a horror movie set during New Year’s, and apparently the picking is very slim, because this is considered “the good one”. It isn’t.
The plot, like most slashers, is incidental, and is held together by a thread composed of awful dialogue and terrible direction.
I was honestly confused about what happened in the opening scene, because I didn’t know if I was supposed to understand that the dead body featured was a murder victim, or a medical school cadaver. I guess all we need to know is that the victim of the prank was pranked TOO HARD.
The dialogue is truly laughably bad, it feels like the adlibbed lines in the fast forwarded parts of pornos.
I was bored throughout the whole film, and not because I was tired, but because it was boring and dumb.
The most dread filled moment of the movie was when I checked the time code, and I had half of the movie left to watch.
There were two things that almost saved the movie for me though.
David Copperfield as the magician reminding me that only a magician can be as creepy as a magician.
The ending was so dumb I laughed out loud.
Score
2/10
Terror Train
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We watched Krampus because it’s one of the biggest blockbuster releases in recent memory that is Christmas themed and for a PG-13 movie, it wraps a nice little present.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Krampus is the story of Max, a young boy who still believes in Santa, and his family who are visited by some bummer relatives.
As the relatives whittle on Max’s last nerve, he loses the Christmas spirit, which is the straw that breaks this town’s back in terms of being on Krampus’ good side. Or maybe a better way to explain it is to say, Max’s village loses their Krampus protection plan when he loses faith in Christmas.
Krampus comes, bringing a slew of “helpers” and a devastating blizzard that seems to gut the entire town.
As Max and his family fight to survive, we learn the importance of family, and keeping the spirit of Christmas alive.
Review
Director Michael Dougherty, who brought us holiday themed cult classic Trick ‘r Treat has deigned to bestow this holiday themed treat upon us.
Krampus is kind of like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation if it included the fictional anti-santa myth, Krampus. It’s based around a “perfect family” and their super trashy relatives who show up and turn everything wrong.
If that isn’t enough for you there is also a jack-in-the-box that resembles a massive worm that’s capable of eating people and a Krampus that looks like Satan and eats whole villages raw.
While this is not the most impressive movie I’ve seen, it’s damn solid and very full of Christmas feels. It’s got lots of fun characters, and enough creepy imagery and tension to keep you on your toes while sippin’ on some nog.
I can remember watching this in theaters and being somewhat surprised at how well it held my attention, but on second viewing I did lose interest around the ¾’s mark.
It does a decent job of not being too long and is a great movie to watch with kids who can handle really scary imagery, because it’s not terribly violent.
Overall, if you are in need of a Christmas horror movie, I would say this, and Gremlins are the best choices when you have to keep your family entertained.
Score
6/10
Final Recommendations
If you have family over and want to watch something very Christmassy but also horrorish, Krampus is your jam. Keep your Christmas spirits up to keep him out of your face!
Better Watch Out Review
Dec 16, 2020
Better Watch Out is one of the strongest christmas themed horror movies of recent memory. It’s a unique viewing experience and worth your time this holiday season.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/1BDxAsaoM1Y
Better Watch Out is available on Shudder and various streaming platforms for free if you don’t mind ads.
Synopsis
Better Watch Out starts out as a home invasion thriller, and turns into something completely different. Young Lucas (Levi Miller) is a twelve year old that has the hots for his only five years older babysitter Ashley (Olivia DeJonge). He’s got a whole night planned out to seduce Ashley with horror movies and his mid-pubescent body.
As they are hanging out having pizza, someone starts terrorizing them. You won’t believe who it is. Click through to horrormovietalk.com to find out!
Review of Better Watch Out
This is a pleasant surprise of a home invasion movie. It stays on the well laid trope tracks until about third of the way through the film, then it goes off the tracks and then onto essentially the same tracks again.
The concept was interesting, and they did do a lot with it. I think it could have gone farther with the set up and delay the twist a little longer. Another gripe was that the villain was way too broad a lot of the time.
Score
7/10
Better Watch Out
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream it now
Dead End is the story of a family who are on their way to their grandma’s house during Christmas Eve. Husband Frank (Ray Wise), Wife Laura (Lin Shaye), son Richard (Mick Cain), daughter Marion (Alexandra Holden) and her boyfriend William (William Rosenfeld) are pretty much the only characters throughout the majority of the movie.
As they make their way down the road, things become strange when they pick up a women in white holding a baby.
Slowly, the passengers start to realize that this road doesn’t seem to end, and they are haunted by a terrible car that occasionally drives by.
Review
Dead End is a French movie by Directors Jean-Baptiste Andrea, and Fabrice Canepa and like so many French horror movies, it packs a punch.
It remains off most people’s radar for reasons that elude me, because this is a special gem.
Our blogger, Keith, reminded me of this vaguely Christmassy movie, and I knew I had to review it.
Dead End takes a car ride and slowly builds it from something mildly disconcerting to something so horrifying and perverse that I knew it was something special many years ago after I first watched it.
The dry comedy and believable characters add a charming element that make this something special.
When you add in the seemingly supernatural goings on around this road that they are driving on and the interesting twist at the end, I think you have a solid horror movie that is sure to make you laugh, and will stick with you in the grossest way possible.
Score
8/10
Final Recommendations
I really enjoy this movie because of how it handles comedy and the characters who are believable but kooky. While it’s not a well-known movie, I think it’s worth a watch because you probably won’t forget it, and that’s what we all love about horror movies.
His House Review
Dec 02, 2020
Where did Remi Weekes come from, and why is he out of the gate, such an amazing horror director? That is the first question I have for this film. His House has instantly become one of my favorite horror movies. That may seem like hyperbole, but I have legit not seen anything like this film, and have rarely felt the same amount of emotion while watching a horror movie.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/DYY0QJhlXjc
His House can be found only on Netflix.
Synopsis
Two Sudanese refugees Rial (Wunmi Mosaku) and Bol (Sope Dirisu) arrive in the UK after a perilous journey. After a stay in a detention center, they are granted asylum and a new place to live, which they are assured isn’t just a shit hole, it’s a palatial shithole.
They are given a set of rules that all refugees are given to maintain their status, that being, they are only to live off the meager wage the gov’t provides and not seek employment, and to definitely not move away from their apartment.
The couple who have definitely seen some shit… start seeing shit in the apartment. Soon it is apparent that there is an evil force preying on them.
Review of His House
Without hyperbole, this is one of the best horror movies I have ever seen. I’m reminded of my experience with Hereditary, where I asked myself, “How is this director so good on his first film and where did he come from?”.
The main difference between Hereditary and this film, is that I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horror movie like His House before. Sure, at its core, it is a haunted house movie, but the aesthetic and subject material are uniquely new to me.
The best horror movies in my opinion are those that have a human core, that focus on character and relationships while drawing a line to real horrors that people experience every day.Rosemary’s Baby uses the fear of the unknown and social pressure during pregnancy.
The Exorcist uses the terror of having an undiagnosable, severely sick child. The Shining uses Jack Nicolson. In this film, it uses the lived experiences of refugees of war torn countries and the trauma associated with it.
This is exactly the type of storytelling that the horror genre excels at. It amplifies real human emotions and fears to the level of overload, resulting in a uniquely empathetic experience.
I’m very excited to talk about this movie, and also excited to see what Remi Weekes, the director will do next.
Score
10/10
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The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 10: Silence Lay Steadily
Nov 27, 2020
This is the final episode of the series, and it focuses on the Red Room and how everyone finally escapes the pull of the dreaded Hill House.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 9: Screaming Meemies
Nov 27, 2020
In this episode we finally learn what happened “that night” with Liv and the Red Room.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 8: Witness Marks
Nov 27, 2020
This episode marks the beginning of the end of the series. Luke has gone missing, It’s Halloween, and while Steve and Hugh try to find Luke, Theo and Shirley deal with some nefarious goings on at the mortuary.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 7: Eulogy
Nov 27, 2020
In this episode Hugh Crain tries to slowly make amends with his estranged family and we learn more of the history of the Hill House from the groundskeeper. Also, black mold is bad.
The Haunting of Hill House
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 6: Two Storms
Nov 27, 2020
In episode six, Two Storms we get to witness the most impressive technical achievement of the series, the long-shot cinematic cuts of this episode.
We also get to see two storms, one in the present day and one set in Hill House. These storms did a great deal to shape the characters, and this episode does a great job of showing that this series is more than just stellar writing and character development.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 5: The Bent-Neck Lady
Nov 27, 2020
As the title of this episode states, we witness the origins of the Bent-neck lady, and learn more about Nell leading up to her death.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 4: The Twin Thing
Nov 27, 2020
In this episode we learn quite a bit about Luke and his bond with drugs, the Hill House ghosts, and his twin sister, Nell. This episode really helped me to see the humanity in addicts, and those who have suffered a loss.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 3: Touch
Nov 27, 2020
In this episode we are given Theodora’s back story and are shown how keenly perceptive she is as a therapist as she helps a young girl being haunted by “Mr. Smiley”.
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 2: Open Casket
Nov 27, 2020
This is the story of how Theo became the funeral director that she is today. It also does a good amount of setup for many episodes to come.
The Haunting of Hill House
The Haunting of Hill House Aftershow Episode 1: Steven Sees a Ghost
Nov 27, 2020
In the first episode of the series, we are introduced to the Crain family, both past and present. First we are shown the young Crain family being awoken by the young Nell (Violet McGraw) who apparently had seen “the bent neck lady”.
Her father Hugh Crain (Henry Thomas) explains how her dreams spilled over and that she was just imagining seeing the scary lady.
Jumping forward, we see all the children now as adults with adult problems and an extreme amount of baggage in relation to the Hill House.
Something terrible happened in the past that led the family to flee from the house, and now in the present, it seems it is calling back to them.
The Haunting of Hill House
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
Nov 25, 2020
Rosemary’s Baby is probably in the top ten most influential horror movies ever made. It prays on the rational and irrational fears of something truly universal, pregnancy. This movie is controversial, well-done, and important.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Rosemary’s Baby is the story of Rosemary, a seriously delusional and paranoid woman who is impregnated and kept safe by her loving husband, and caring neighbors. She gives birth to a totally normal baby and all is well.
Actually, Rosemary’s Baby is kind of the inverse of everything I just said. Rosemary (Mia Farrow) and her husband Guy (John Cassavetes) move into a new apartment in New York City, and are immediately greeted by super-nosey neighbors, Minnie (Ruth Gordon) and Roman (Sidney Blackmer).
Small hints of things not being normal are dropped continuously throughout, but the young couple decide to try and have a child.
Their neighbors, the Castevets, offer a bit too much help for comfort, even in the friendly age of the 60’s with everything from advice to daily vitamin shakes for the newly pregnant Rosemary.
Her entire life seems to become supplanted by offerings and suggestions made by the neighbors and enforced by Guy, her actor husband.
Guy has come into a bit of good luck as the understudy for a play, but it’s because of the misfortune of the lead of the pla (obviously).
As the gaslighting of Rosemary progresses, the audience knows that something is up, but it’s hard to read too much malice into it until the end.
Review
Rosemary’s Baby is one of the most influential films of the 60’s and is a masterpiece of storytelling and suspense. Direction and screenplay by Roman Polanski, it’s just as horrific and perverted as him.
Everything about this film is wonderful, but the casting, acting, and story is really what makes this movie shine. It’s not full of the most artistic shots, and it’s as slow as they come, especially for today.
Perhaps the real triumph here is the effort that goes into stringing the viewer along. There are tons of little clues and nudges that we receive as we make our way through this sometimes innocent, sometimes diabolical journey that poor Rosemary is forced to endure.
It’s always interesting to see movies that tap into our most innate fears, and what could be a more natural minefield for worry than a mother’s journey through pregnancy?
Rosemary’s Baby takes the little flap of cuticle and peels it all the way up to the elbow. It was clearly the inspiration for many movies and moviemakers since. While watching this, I kept drawing parallels with Hereditary.
Watching this movie is like scaling Mount Everest – it’s a slow and dangerous journey, but the view from the top is second to none.
Score
10/10
Final Recommendations
This is one of the easiest recommendations I have ever made. Everyone except, or maybe especially those who are pregnant or are trying to become pregnant should see this movie.
Rats: Night of Terror Review
Nov 18, 2020
At long last, and after much misunderstanding, we turn to the 1984 cult classic (at least in Sweden apparently) Rats: Night of Terror. We did it. It’s done. Let’s never talk of it again.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/NlOcKL2l_m0
Rats can be found on streaming platforms for rent now.
Rats: Night of Terror Poster
Synopsis
A tribe of rats called the Jellicles must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new Jellicle life.
Oh wait that’s not right.
Rats is about a post nuclear apocalyptic world in which all vegetation is destroyed and humans are separated in to two factions, one above ground and one below. This has little to nothing to do with the actual plot of this movie, but the filmmakers thought it important that you know this.
Rats is really about killer rats. That’s it.
Review of Rats: Night of Terror
Rats is bad. Sure it can be argued that it is so bad it’s good, and there are many times that I can point to where I laughed that the ridiculousness of certain scenes, but when it comes down to it, it’s a bad movie.
What makes it worse is that we were forced to watch it, which in essence makes this a school book report. No one likes reading books for a book report.
It took me about 2.5 hours to watch a 1.5 hour long movie, because I had to just take a break from the boredom every couple minutes. The worst part about Rats is the snails pace in which anything happens.
Even if you are looking for a gory exploitation horror film, this one falls short. Most rat attacks just look like a bunch of dead rats being dumped on someone, proceeded by the victim lazily rolling around among some lazy and disinterested rats.
Score
1/10
Rats
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream it now
There were new counselors at Camp Blood, er, I mean Camp Crystal Lake and damnit, they had to pay! They never seem to learn, and that’s what I love about kids these days.
https://youtu.be/FX5Cf77kM-E
Synopsis
Friday the 13th Part 2 picks up the reins from the first movie and just does it all over again.
Holy moly, come to think of it as this episode of Horror Movie Talk releases, Friday the 13th is in just 2 days! Part 2, 2 days, coincidence?
There is a new camp in town around Crystal Lake, and wow, it looks pretty much just like the camp from the first movie. The driveway, the doom prophet, the buildings, the boobs, it’s all the same.
Two things have changed – there is a new group of campers and a new killer. Our last killer, Mrs. Voorhees, was killed by beheading while seeking vengeance for her son Jason, who died due to (in her eyes) negligent camp counselors.
This time around we get to learn a bit more about Jason, and what makes him tick.
Review
While Friday the 13th Part 2 doesn’t do much to add anything new to the story, it does give us Jason, and to be honest, that’s enough for me.
I can’t quite pin down the difference in my opinion between Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees, but they are the two least complicated and most iconic slasher baddies. I can say, I tend to prefer Jason. I’m not sure why.
Maybe it’s the super distilled execution of the script – Horny youth must die. Maybe it’s the unapologetic grab at quick cash – Horny youth pay to see horny youth while horny. Maybe it’s the, well, that’s probably enough.
This is a paint by numbers slasher, but it was released only a year after arguably the first honest-to-goodness modern slasher, and that was the original Friday the 13th. So, whatever. It’s still the basis for most slashers to this day and it’s maybe the most engaging of the bunch that I have seen with the exception of meta slashers, like Scream
Score
6/10
ErRATum Episode Nov 2020
Nov 06, 2020
In which we apologize for an egregious recent error on our part.
Bats Review
Nov 04, 2020
We watched Bats on Tubi because Magnus, our Swedish super-fan has been clamoring for it for months. Our fans have united behind Magnus and demanded that we review Bats, and I have to say, I get it! It was a fun movie with a decent but goofy premise and some B-list actors that you will definitely remember from the 90’s!
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/3NWlsXlHT9Q
Synopsis
Bats is about, you guessed it, killer bats. These bats have been genetically tampered with and now have a taste for blood.
This small town in Texas has been hit hard with this new strain of genetically modified bats, and our small team of bats biologists and police need to get it under control before they spread across the continent in exactly the same way that real life scientists told us killer bees would take over in the 90s.
Eventually, the military is called in and everyone gets more bats than they bargained for.
Review
Bats is a very stereotypical creature feature from a time when Jurassic Park, Gremlins, and Anaconda were big hits. There was a formula, and if you stuck to it, generally speaking, it paid off.
In this instance, they stuck to the formula but it didn’t pay off, and I’m not totally sure why. Is Bats an undeniably great movie? No. Does it deserve the kind of ire that it drew from critics at the time? Maybe a little bit, but I would argue, no.
Bats had me laughing more than a few times, and it definitely left me wondering why I had never heard of this made-for-cable movie.
I was never left totally amazed but I had a good enough time. I think the reason this movie got waylaid the way it did was because it was released on the tail-end of a totally fucked-out concept.
By the time Bats was released, everyone was tired of this super generic creature feature kind of movie because it had been done to death.
I think if it had been released in 92 instead of 99 we would all remember this movie fondly, instead of never having heard of it at all.
Score
5/10
Final Recommendations
If you like fun, campy 90’s creature features, this is totally that kind of thing. Is it good? No. Does it make sense? Yeah, pretty much. It’s mostly a good time and a laugh.
Trick ‘r Treat Review
Oct 28, 2020
We rented Trick ‘r Treat, and it’s Pulp Fiction for horror fans. This episode we are joined with my wife and discuss some of the recent one-star reviews we have gotten. The salt flows, and then we play a new game “Sense and Stabability”.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/AoBx7F-q2CA
Trick ‘r Treat can be found on streaming platforms for rent now.
Synopsis
This movie reminds children of their worst fear during Halloween. Bryan Singer!
Trick ‘r Treat is an anthology film set during Halloween in suburban Ohio. Seven short stories are loosely interwoven with each other in a non-linear narrative to tell the dangers of eschewing Halloween traditions. Wearing costumes, giving out candy, and lighting Jack-o-lanterns are all a part of ancient traditions whose purpose are long forgotten, but are made… kind of apparent in this movie.
Review of Trick ‘r Treat
Trick ‘r Treat basically accomplishes in one movie what John Carpenter wanted to do with the Halloween franchise when they made Season of the Witch. That is, telling an assortment of spooky tales set during Halloween.
The seven stories told throughout the film are of varying quality and complexity, but the non-linear narrative structure keeps the audience engaged and never dwells on one story long enough to bore the audience. Most of the stories do little in the way of set up, and prefer to jump right to the good scary part.
It’s a decent film that deserves to be on the rotation during the Halloween season.
Score
6/10
Trick ‘r Treat
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream it now
We saw Possessor Uncut, which is a new flick released in 2020, and wow, what a disturbing masterpiece. This came highly recommended to us by our hard-fucking artist, Dustin Goebel, and I was not let down.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/D0Gh9nOIV3w
Synopsis
Possessor Uncut follows Tasya (Andrea Riseborough), who is the most incredible mercenary for hire ever.
She works for a secret organization that uses brain-implant tech to put her consciousness into the bodies of people who can get close to important people – aka targets. Her job is to inhabit the consciousness of strangers, take control of their body, and use their body to assassinate people for, presumably, very rich corporations and clients.
As we follow Tasya, we learn that she is the best at what she does, but also that there seems to be a time-limit on how long you can possess others before there is a danger that you can lose yourself in the process.
As the movie progresses, we get a real look into what makes us empathetic humans, and the real ramifications of our actions if we let our moral compass slip for too long.
Review
Possessor Uncut is directed by Brandon Cronenberg and is more than just an interesting concept, it’s the complete package.
Tremendous effort has gone into setting the dark/sad mood, and Possessor Uncut presents some very fucked up ideas into what seems like a not-so-distant, real future.
The acting and film-craft is stellar, but the imagery and ideas in this movie are so much more depraved than even the most intense gore-porn entry, because it seems like we aren’t far off from this being a potential reality.
There were parts in this movie where I actually covered my eyes because I was fearful that I would see something that I couldn’t unsee.
This is definitely an artistic film, but it doesn’t hang its hat on the art. It really stands on the concept that it presents, which is the loss of privacy, and the danger of losing control of one’s self. Our inherent lean toward the voyueristic can result in the loss of self, and that may be the scariest and most insidious thing I can imagine.
Score
10/10
Final Recommendation
If you like disturbing ideas and visuals, it doesn’t get a lot more crazy than this unless you are talking about the fringe-type movies like A Serbian Film or I Spit on Your Grave. This is a well-made movie with some incredible concepts, watch it.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch Review
Oct 14, 2020
Halloween III: Season of the Witch is available for rent at your local Blockbuster Video.
What do you think of, when you think of the horror franchise Halloween?
Ok, What do you think of when you think of witches?
Well none of that is in this movie.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch is a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an enigma inside a dumpster fire.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
A murder/suicide at a hospital sets off the attending doctor to investigate the crime. Stuff happens that involves the Irish, Stonehenge, Halloween Masks, laser technology that turns heads into rotten bug/snake infested fruit, and robots.
https://youtu.be/9MnaYzBhx0A
Review of Halloween 3
I hear a lot of talk about how Halloween 3 is a underrated gem, and that the backlash of fans expecting Michael Myers skewed the opinion of this film. The reality is, the critics got it right the first time. This film is not underrated. It is rated. It’s bad.
A series of poor decisions, and I assume plentiful cocaine led to this mess of a movie. The characters in this film are all the type of one dimensional fodder of slasher films.
Instead of entertaining the audience with frequent kills and chases, Season of the Witch tries to weave a complex mystery to sustain interest. However, instead of an intriguing mystery, we get a wacky mad libs plot of completely incongruous and random concepts.
Score
2/10
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
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The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 9: Screaming Meemies
Oct 10, 2020
In this final episode we see the fate of the inhabitants at Bly Manor, and have a lengthy Epilogue for those that survive the Lady in the Lake.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 8: The Romance of Certain Old Clothes
Oct 10, 2020
This is an episode where we get to learn a bit about Viola, AKA the lady of the lake. Almost the entire episode takes place in a time long lost to history, and frankly, this is my favorite episode in the series. It’s sad, mournful and has some wonderful storytelling.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 7: Eulogy
Oct 10, 2020
Episode 7 starts to weave all the story lines together as Rebecca and Peter are revealed to Dani, and the story of Rebecca’s death is told. We learn of Peter’s motivations in the afterlife and how it may have dire consequences for the living.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 6: The Jolly Corner
Oct 09, 2020
In episode six we learn quite a bit of backstory about the family as a whole, but mostly about Henry. There’s a decent bit to learn about Flora in this episode as well, and she is kind of the B storyline here, which I found very sad.
While this is a long episode at over an hour, it’s also the most full of intrigue and depth of any of the series so far.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 5: The Alter of the Dead
Oct 09, 2020
This episode is the Hannah Episode. This episode keeps the audience off-balance by jumping back and forth through time and between memory and reality. As confusing as it can be, there are also a lot of revelations.
We finally learn what that crack is all about, we see more about how Rebecca gets entangled with Peter, and we even see why the lady in the lake is so dangerous.
Overall, this episode had a sad vibe of regret and loss, which was hard for me to watch. There wasn’t a ton of scares in this one, but it did do a great job of telling us why Dani is the way she is.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 3: The Two Faces, Part One
Oct 09, 2020
In this episode we are given the backstory of the previous au pair Rebecca Jessel played by Tahirah Sharif, and Uncle Henry’s assistant Peter Quint played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen.
Peter and Miss Jessel have an affair, and soon the charming facade put on by Peter cracks and reveals a manipulative sociopath underneath.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 2: The Pupil
Oct 09, 2020
We pick up the second episode of The Haunting of Bly Manor as if no time has passed between the last episode and now. Dani has just come out of the closet (wink, wink) and the kids are apologizing like they didn’t just very intentionally shut her in there to begin with.
This episode is one where Miles is much more fleshed out as a creepy character, and we get to learn a bit about why he is the way he is.
This is a very Dani and the kids heavy episode, we are properly introduced to the gardener, Jamie, played by Amelia Eve.
This also contains the spookiest scene in the first three episodes, with a rousing game of hide-and-seek before bed.
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Episode 1: The Great Good Place
Oct 09, 2020
In this opening episode we are introduced to Dani Clayton played by Victoria Pedretti an, American who is hired to be an au pair to two perfectly splendid young orphan children. They live in a spacious estate in the countryside called, you guessed it, The Hill House, oh wait, Bly Manor. The children’s only surviving relative is Uncle Henry played by Henry Thomas, hired Dani, but he shows no interest in being involved with them.
Flora played by Amelie Bea Smith is the precocious 8 year old girl, and her 10 year old brother Miles played by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, is… in need of structure and discipline.
There are other staff at the Bly Manor, including the cook Owen played by Rahul Kohli, the housekeeper Hannah played by T’Nia Miller, and Jamie, the groundskeeper played by Amelia Eve.
As Dani gets to know the children and Bly Manor, strange and unsettling things start to happen, and the children begin to act strangely.
(0:57) – Intro
(2:25) – Synopsis
(6:04) – Spoilers
(36:47) – Outro
The Blair Witch Project (1999) Review
Oct 07, 2020
The Blair Witch Project is one of the most iconic films of the 90’s, and it’s even credited with starting the found footage genre, but I wasn’t looking forward to re-watching it. I saw this when it came out and figured it wouldn’t age well. I WAS WRONG!
So, David did this illustration, which should really tell you how much we need Dustin. @dgoebel00 on Instagram. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/a_Hw4bAUj8A
Synopsis
The Blair Witch Project has the stunningly simple premise of, “let’s shoot a documentary about a spooky place/thing in the woods” and as we all know, nothing good ever happens in the woods.
Three young adults, Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Michael C. Williams play themselves as a film crew that is headed into the woods of Maryland to document the “myth” of the Blair Witch.
Before heading into the woods they stop at the closest town and interview the locals about the likelihood of such a myth, and received varying stories of belief and terror mixed with skeptics.
As they venture into the woods things start to grow alarming and they start to wonder if they are lost.
Things take a turn for the worst as they realize that they got more witch than they bargained for.
Review
The Blair Witch Project is widely held to be the movie that kicked off the found footage genre. There are plenty of examples of found footage before this film, such as:
While these movies ranged in release date all the way back to the late 60’s the genre never gathered significant steam or public interest until the release of Blair Witch.
Many of these movies, including Blair Witch, capitalized on the mistaken assumption that the movie was actual footage of real-life events that just happened to be caught on tape.
The hype train that surrounded the release of this movie was a sight to behold. This is one of, or maybe the first movie ever to rely primarily on an internet marketing campaign.
The movie itself is something of an anomaly, not quite a film, and not quite a home video. It is hard to place it squarely in a genre. With the added suggestion that the footage was real, it made this a real freak show.
The Blair Witch Project relies heavily on audience buy-in and it is able to accomplish it by being very believable by nature. This is how young twenty-somethings would act, and something they would do, and the scenario they find themselves in is pretty easily a universal nightmare to any viewer.
I saw this in theaters upon release, and never again since. I was not looking forward to a rewatch because I thought I had this movie pegged from the first viewing. I did not. It still works! It’s still scary as shit, believable, and a crazy-fun ride from beginning to end.
The poor footage quality, total amateur filming style and distant audio sound coupled with the setting of the New England woods, holds up well.
While it lacks the polish and delivery that a true filmmaker’s film would deliver, it’s supposed to.
If you enjoy this movie you should also check out The Curse of the Blair Witch, a Sci-Fi Channel documentary that accompanied the theatrical release of the movie.
Score
10/10
The Haunting of Bly Manor Aftershow Ep. 0
Oct 05, 2020
In this series of ten plus Aftershows we will be talking about the events of each episode of The second season of The Haunting of Hill House titled, The Haunting of Bly Manor.
I have to say this show has really surpassed my expectations, especially in the realm of storytelling and character building. Netflix seems to have allowed Flanagan the creative license that he needed to get this twist on the classic novella The Turn of the Screw.
We had a great time watching this show and normally we only review horror movies, but im glad we were given the opportunity to review this show because it’s going to be a big one.
There’s a tremendous mystery at the core of this somber slash scary tale. It’s also a surprisingly touching show that focuses on personal relationships and loss.
Remember, The Haunting of Bly Manor premieres on Netflix on October 9th, so make sure you catch the shows and watch them in full before you dive into our Aftershows. You won’t be disappointed!
Antebellum Review
Sep 30, 2020
Antebellum is a fantastic concept with mediocre execution. It’s not bad, it’s just lackluster when compared to recent, more nuanced horror films about race from Jordan Peele. That being said, it is worth a watch if only to see historical African slavery through a new lens.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/rtEaNK2PtPM
Synopsis
It’s pretty hard to give a synopsis of Antebellum without giving spoilers, but I’ll give it a shot.
Janelle Monae stars as Veronica Henley a famous author and speaker on inclusion living in modern society, who finds herself suddenly living as Eden, an African American slave on a southern plantation.
Veronica is forced to deal with living as a powerless slave while having the mind of a strong independent 21st century black woman.
Veronica bides her time and submits to some of history’s greatest horrors to pick the right time to make her escape and find her way back to her life.
Review of Antebellum
This one is really tough for me. The premise is really solid. Set the everyday occurrences of Antebellum south in the US as a horror movie. I genuinely don’t think this has been done before, and is a fantastic way to address this historical atrocity.
The trailer is pretty misleading though, and I feel really undercut the film by suggesting a much more interesting plot device than is actually used in the film. This is intentional, I think, because it is also suggested by the narrative structure of the first act. I could see how audiences would feel a bit of bait and switch and that there might be audible groans from some of the reveals.
The writing doesn’t have any nuance, and many of the characters, especially the white characters are more caricatures than anything. The cast is very good, and does what it can for the film, but overall it squanders the opportunity to explore the horrific premise.
For these reasons, I think the film will be a huge disappointment for those expecting a film of the caliber of Get Out or US. Reviews have not been kind, it is in the low 30s on Rotten Tomatoes right now.
What I can say is that it’s not that bad. While this is not the film that I expected, it’s still a very intriguing concept that is told in a passable way even if it’s not the route I would have chosen. It genuinely does portray the horrors of the antebellum south in a genre fashion, and that is really what is holding together the movie.
1BR is one of the most interesting movies that I’ve watched in 2020 as I feel like it fooled me at the start and made me love it at the end. I worry that the somewhat goofy beginning of this movie will make people jump ship in the first act, but I really hope they watch it to the end, because it’s got some interesting tricks up it’s sleeve.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/IGzb01GrsxQ
Synopsis
1BR is the story of Sarah, a young woman who moves to LA in order to start a new life away from her troubling family.
She finds a great apartment complex that seems strangely kind and welcoming.
Sarah sneaks a cat into her new apartment and soon realizes that’s too much pussy for a one bedroom apartment.
1BR is written and directed by David Marmor and stars Nicole Brydon Bloom as Sarah. This is a somewhat unique movie as it’s a bit of a bait and switch and I fear that will hurt it on a streaming platform like Netflix where people can switch to watching The Office at a moment’s notice.
Strange Start
1BR starts out as a kind of silly, jumpscare-laden spookfest – and a lot of the themes early in the movie left me laughing at what I thought to be a pitiable attempt at a story. The characters felt fake, the scenarios felt unbelievable, and I kept asking, “Yeah, but why would anyone care?”
Solid End
At ⅔’s through, 1BR threw me for a real loop as I realized the movie had played me the same way the characters had played Sarah. The start of this movie felt like a facade to me, and the end left me with a lot of respect for it.
This is really, at its core, a social commentary, or a warning tale meant to alert people to complacently accepting social movements at face value and believing it’s the right thing not to fight back.
Parts of this movie are very similar to one of my favorite thrillers of all-time, The Invitation.
Makes me feel…trapped
That Gas Lighting Feel
I’ve said this before, I’m a big fan of movies gaslighting me, and this one did exactly that, it played me like an instrument. I thought it was a silly little thriller and it ended up smacking me in the face with cold-hard truth.
This is a particularly timely movie to watch right now, and one that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys a solid thriller.
My biggest fear with 1BR is that people will turn it off before it heats up, the start seems intentionally goofy to me, and at the end I think the viewer will appreciate it.
Score
8/10
Final Recommendations
If you enjoy thrillers, or the feeling of being gaslit, this is a wonderfully strong movie for that. 1BR will age very well with time. I just hope people will make it through the somewhat silly feeling start of this movie.
Saw Review
Sep 16, 2020
Saw may have dulled over time, but it is still a good horror movie and was definitely influential during the 2000s. The simple premise of catch-22 torture traps is an effective hook, but sometimes the twisty turny plot is a bit forced.
@dgoebel00 on instagram
Synopsis
Saw is mainly about two strangers trapped in a High School boys bathroom with a mysterious dead body. They are both chained to pipes just out of reach of each other and the dead body in the middle of the room.
They find that they are being toyed with by a villain named Jigsaw, who set up a trap to pit them against each other in a race against time.
They are both left with the tool to escape, a saw blade too dull to saw through metal chains/pipes, but just the right sharpness to saw through an ankle. Wacky hijinks ensue.
Saw Poster
https://youtu.be/S-1QgOMQ-ls
Review of Saw
Saw has dulled over time, but it’s still a good horror movie. It was the first film of the now well established horror director/writers James Wan and Leigh Whannel. It feels like a short film stretched to fill a feature length film, and Wan and Whannel did make a short before this movie, but it was originally written as a feature length script and the short was an excerpt from it.
It’s undeniable that this movie and it’s sequels have made a mark in the pantheon of horror movies based off of the simple concept of catch-22 torture traps.
The problem that the franchise faces and has from the beginning is the need to stretch out the simple premise with overly complicated labyrinthian plots and character motives.
The original Saw is well constructed and has an engaging plot that unravels nicely, but it’s still at its heart, a cheap exploitational premise.
Score
7/10
Saw
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream on Amazon
Buy/Stream Now
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2020/07/08/hellraiser-review/
Se7en Review
Sep 09, 2020
Se7en is one of the most enthralling and horrific crime thrillers ever made, right up there with Silence of the Lambs. With an all-star cast all delivering incredible performances and some of the most depraved imagery and ideas ever to make it into a big budget box office movie, Se7en is a work of art.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/SpKbZ_3zlb0
Se7en Trailer
Synopsis
Se7en is the darkest buddy cop story you will ever find. It is directed by David Fincher, and is one of his best movies, which is saying something.
It’s the story of detective Somerset (Morgan Freeman), a disillusioned PI at the end of his career, and Mills (Brad Pitt), a baby-faced newbie who has something to prove.
They arrive on the scene of a grizzly and totally strange murder of a man who was tied up and force fed until death. As they find more murder scenes they begin to realize that there is a pattern emerging – the seven deadly sins:
We are taken through the lives of these detectives and learn how they cope with the total depravity that they see on a daily basis. We are given a look into the incredibly perverted and seamy underbelly of a big city with huge crime problems.
Mills and Somerset end up getting more serial murder than they bargained for.
The storytelling in Se7en is beyond compare and the twist is one that will leave you gasping for air. The idea that a human could do these things to others in the name of God is simultaneously vile and extremely true to life. The story isn’t exactly a detective story, even though it involves detectives. It’s very formulaic, while holding the audience’s interest through the sheer depravity of the murders and backdrops.
Se7en is, at its core, a character study of a young man who wants to be a real detective and his older counterpart who helps guide him through the most insane settings that any city could offer.
I’m going to quote Roger Ebert who I think explained this movie best:
“What’s being used here is the same sort of approach William Friedkin employed in “The Exorcist” and Jonathan Demme in “The Silence of the Lambs.” What could become a routine cop movie is elevated by the evocation of dread mythology and symbolism. “Seven” is not really a very deep or profound film, but it provides the convincing illusion of one. Almost all mainstream thrillers seek first to provide entertainment; this one intends to fascinate and appall.”
Spacey’s performance is one only he and very few other actors I can think of could pull off. He is the embodiment of evil, almost the devil in the flesh.
The end of this movie could have gone a few different ways, and I think the way it went was, by far, the best version that could have possibly been told. It’s shocking, and cruel, and the perfect end to one of the most twisted mainstream movies you will ever see.
Se7en contains some of the darkest subject matter that I can think of and it has stuck with me since I saw it as a young teen. This is storytelling at it’s finest.
Score
10/10
Final Recommendation
Everyone who can handle some serious imagery should see this. It’s a fabulous and dark story that will leave a mark on you for as long as you live.
Sinister Review
Sep 02, 2020
This week we review the 2012 horror hot, Sinister. A film with properly disturbing imagery, but improperly matched script. Later on we check our voicemail and answer questions from listeners.
@dgoebel00 on instagram
Synopsis
Sinister is the story of author Ellison Oswalt moving to a new town to research for his next true crime novel. His wife, son, and daughter make up the most passive aggressively unsupportive family in the world. Unbeknownst to Ellison’s family, they have moved into the house of that family whose deaths his book will be based on.
https://youtu.be/_kbQAJR9YWQ
Review of Sinister
Sinister is a serviceable, average horror movie. It heavily forecasts it’s twists from the very beginning in a “whatever you do, do not push that button” sort of way.
I can see why people like this movie and keep bringing it up to us. It’s got a distinctive dark tone while still being very approachable for mainstream audiences.
There were a couple effective jump scares and attempts to create believable relationships and stakes, but never has any moment that will keep this movie from melding with countless other horror movies in your head. That being said, Ethan Hawke offers up an excellent performance, and the ending was slightly better than expected.
Score
6/10
Sinister
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream on Amazon
We watched Host on Shudder because everyone has been talking about it and found out that you can make a pretty effective movie that impresses everyone as long as theaters are closed and there is a global pandemic. Host doesn’t do anything new, but it doesn’t waste your time and it delivers fairly well compared to many found footage movies.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Six friends decide to cure their Corona-19 blues by hiring a medium to hold a seance over a Zoom conference call.
One of the friends doesn’t take the whole thing seriously and decides to make a joke at the expense of the seance – this angers the spirits who are also probably pretty bored of being on lockdown.
The friends get more evil spirits than they bargained for
https://youtu.be/SNlKbqHqGcY
Watch Host
This link will bring you to Amazon where you can sign up for Shudder
Host brings literally nothing new to the table at all. Everything I saw during my watching of this movie is stolen whole cloth from another found footage movie of varying title.
The most obvious borrowing is the movie’s format from titles like Unfriended, but I caught stuff from the Paranormal Activity series, Blair Witch, and about twenty other very common scares and tropes.
That doesn’t make Host bad, it just makes it pretty common. The thing that I really appreciated from this movie was that it was less than an hour in length.
Nothing about this movie will stick with me for very long, mostly because I didn’t feel empathy for any of the characters. With these computer screen found footage formats the characters need to be really strong in order for them the break through to the audience and build empathy. Instead what you have with Host is a bunch of Friday the 13th camp counselors who you barely know and don’t care about.
The scares work to a middling extent and I wasn’t upset with this movie in any way. I will say that I had heard a lot of positive reviews and opinions of this movie before watching it and it just didn’t have enough substance for me to recommend
Score
4/10
Final Recommendation
Bryce seems to love this movie if you listen to the podcast attached to this episode but for me it falls pretty flat. I think those who love the found footage genre will appreciate this, but mostly it’s a bunch of used up tropes and scares.
Event Horizon Review
Aug 19, 2020
Event Horizon is the best movie that Paul Anderson ever made and ever will make. It’s one of the most late 90’s movies you will ever see and has very Hellraiseraesthetic. Actually, now that I think of it, this movie is a mashup of Hellraiser and Alien mixed with a gimmicky action movie. It’s beloved by many, which makes it hard for me to do what I’m about to do.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/OVlnER8SxfQ
Synopsis
Event Horizon starts with a very strong intro describing the far-flung future of 2015 and beyond! By 2015 we have already set up a colony on the moon. By present-day in the movie (2047), we have launched and lost a spaceship called Event Horizon that was meant to explore the boundaries of the solar system.
The Event Horizon was lost around Neptune in order to avoid jokes about your butthole, and our ill-fated crew has been sent to determine what happened to the missing ship.
Onboard the rescue vessel is Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) and Dr. William Weir (Sam Neill), who was the creator of the Event Horizon ship. Apart from them, you have a crew of stereotypical, disposable clods.
Everyone is soon told by Dr. Weir that the Event Horizon vessel that he created was not a vessel made to explore the outer regions of the solar system, but a faster-than-light vessel meant to catapult humans around the universe.
Everyone ends up with more existential terror than they bargained for…
Event Horizon Review
This is the first time that I’ve sat down and watched this movie from beginning to end, and I must say, I am not impressed. Granted, this movie is talked about lovingly by only the people who love it, and is almost never talked about at all by anyone who doesn’t like it. It seems to fly under the radar of movie hatred that other, more controversial movies are stuck with.
I’m not saying that Event Horizon is bad – it’s not. It’s just that I heard so much praise for it from so many people that it probably inflated my expectations a bit.
The main thing that this movie does well is borrow from other films that are quite successful at what they do, like Alien and Hellraiser. The aesthetic and setting of this are like a Warhammer 40k gothic sci-fi meets real-world futuristic scenario. The visuals are graphic and disturbing. The story is of a man gone mad by the invention he created, almost like Frankenstein.
Everything else is not for me. The action is very run-of-the-mill fast cut bologna. The disturbing imagery, while disturbing, does absolutely nothing to amp up the tension or frighten. The concept is cool enough, but without great execution, it just falls flat.
I want to like Event Horizon; it just doesn’t do a damn thing for me except remind me of a bunch of actually good things that were probably going through Paul Anderson’s dull head while he was creating this.
Score
4/10
Paul Anderson’s Horrible Career
Even though he married Mila Jovovich, I think Paul should be a little embarrassed about the life he leads. It’s based on the shoddiest of work on the most braindead of all projects. Event Horizon is his best work.
Here are his biggest ventures to date.
Directing:
Mortal Kombat
Soldier
Resident Evil
Alien vs. Predator
Drift
Death Race
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Resident Evil: Retribution
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
Writing:
Resident Evil
Alien vs Predator
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Resident Evil: Extinction
Death Race
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Death Race 2
Resident Evil: Retribution
Death Race: Inferno
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy
Kids – follow your dreams. This is America; if Paul Anderson can be a multimillionaire married to Mila Jovovich for writing and directing all these gigantic steaming piles of zombie shit and Hotwheels wet dreams, you can make it doing anything!
Final Recommendation
If you remember this movie fondly, by all means, love it. I just can’t recommend seeing this to anyone who doesn’t get off on sci-fi and horror combos. It’s not great at what it does.
Ghost Ship (2002) Review
Aug 12, 2020
Patrons voted last month, and now we’re reviewing Ghost Ship, and it’s… from the early 2000’s. If you are in the mood for some modern schlock, then maybe it’s worth the $3 to watch the whole movie. But really, this movie’s opening scene sets expectations way too high for itself.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/a7xNXTpQA5Q
Ghost Boaty McBoatface is available to rent on multiple streaming platforms.
Synopsis
Ghost Ship is about a Ghost Ship filled with Ship Ghosts that’s discovered by a salvage crew that eventually become Ship Ghosts on the Ghost Ship.
The salvage crew aboard the tugboat HMS Whogivesafuck, are given a lead on an abandoned ship in the Bering Strait. The information is brought to them by Jack Ferriman, a Canadian Air Force pilot who insists on coming along with them on their salvage operation because he looks too handsome to be in just one scene.
The crew sails out to the ship and discovers it’s a missing 1960’s Italian ocean liner called the Antonia Graza, which suffered a tragic boating accident that bifurcated most of it’s passengers.
As they lazily wander around the corridors talking about working, they find out that this SHIP has more GHOST than they bargained for.
Ghost Ship Poster
Review of Ghost Ship (2002)
Ghost Ship is described by Roger Ebert as “It’s better than you expect but not as good as you hope.” Which is pretty accurate, but still pretty generous considering expectations going in are scraping the bottom of the barrel.
The movie starts out with one of the best schlocky gory sequences in all of horror. Really, If you watched the opening scene and just walked away, you wouldn’t be missing much.
The rest of the film is a pretty standard slow burn haunted house story set on a boat. The problem with that set up is that it requires the supposed professional salvage workers to do exactly zero work for an hour and 4 minutes of the 91 minute runtime. There is a little bit of mystery unraveling going on during that first hour, but most of the action happens in the last 20 minutes.
It’s not a good movie, but it has a good cast, and it is salvaged by the bookends of it’s ridiculous beginning and ending.
If you would like to watch something better from the same time, check out Dead End, which could easily have been called ghost car.
Score
3/10
Ghost Ship
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream on Amazon
This week we follow up David’s favorite “horror” movie of all time, with my favorite horror movie of all time: The Exorcist. Every time I revisit it, I’m reminded that it truly is a masterpiece.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/YDGw1MTEe9k
The Exorcist Trailer
Synopsis
The Exorcist, if you don’t know, is about an exorcism of a little girl. Regan, played by Linda Blair, is the 12 year old daughter of single mother Chris MacNiel played by Ellen Burstyn. Regan starts complaining about her bed shaking at night, and then as days pass, her personality slowly changes and she starts behaving erratically.
Chris exhausts every medical and psychological avenue, and is still left hopeless as her daughter continues to get worse. Some doctors reluctantly mention Exorcism as an option.
Father Karras, played by Jason Miller, is a reluctant skeptic, but is recruited to perform an exorcism. With the help of an older more experienced exorcist, Father Merrin, played by Max von Sydow, they struggle to expel the demon or demons that are tormenting Regan.
The Exorcist Poster
Review of The Exorcist
The Exorcist is the center tentpole of the horror genre for me, and probably for a lot of people. It’s often at the top of best horror movies of all time lists, and for good reason. Some of the themes and scenes from this movie are still genuinely disturbing nearly 50 years after it’s release. It deals with a lot of conscience and subconscious fears about life, reality, and little girls.
A lot of the notoriety about the film comes from it’s marketing and stories of people fainting or leaving the theater. However, it doesn’t owe it’s longevity to these gimmicks, it is still held as one of the best critical and commercial successes in horror.
The special effects might not hold up to modern audiences, but everything else is timeless. The acting is great, the themes are handled maturely, and the director had an unhealthy conviction to get his vision of the story. All of these work together to create a film that has spun off a whole subgenre of exorcism and demonic children.
Score
10/10
The Exorcist
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream on Amazon
If you are a horror fan, and want to see the original “elevated” horror movie The Exorcist is a must see.
Alien (1979) Review
Jul 29, 2020
Alien is an incredible movie that did amazing things for horror, sci-fi, and cinema as a whole. It imagined an incredible amount of very real-seeming possibilities for space travel and contact with other life forms that impresses me to this day despite being 41 years old.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Alien is the story of a deep-space commercial towing vehicle, named Nostromo, and it’s crew who are bringing a tremendous amount of ore back to earth.
There are seven crewmembers and they seem to be mostly blue collar folk, with the exception of the Chief Science Officer, Ash.
They are awoken from stasis following receiving a transmission from a nearby planet and are bound by their contract with “the company” to check it out.
They discover some eggs near a spaceship crash-site and end up with more alien than they bargained for!
Alien is one of the most impressive pieces of cinema in history. It set the bar so high for horror and sci-fi that I think it’s still the apex of both.
Every single aspect of this movie is carefully thought-out and crafted to the highest of standards.
The setting is bleak and cold, very much unlike how space is typically portrayed today, with Guardians galavanting around galaxies and such. It’s completely unforgiving and inhospitable in almost every single way.
With Dan O’Bannon writing the story and screenplay and Ridley Scott at the helm as the director, this is one of the most accurate and impressive imaginings of the far-flung future as I can find, with much of the tech they dreamed about being in use today.
The xenomorph is, without a doubt, the coolest and most insane diabolic biological lifeform ever dreamed up. While everyone is very familiar with the xenomorphs at this point, you don’t get to see it almost at all in this movie, even though it seems like you do.
This may be my favorite movie of all time, and is definitely the best horror movie in my book.
I mean, someone MIGHT be able to hear you scream if they were really close…
Score
10/10
Final Recommendation
If you don’t have a massive boner during your viewing of Alien, I don’t want to know you. This is a classic that trumps most classics, and should be seen by everyone within the sound of my voice and beyond.
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (2020) Review and Filmmakers Interview
Jul 22, 2020
This is a different kind of episode. You can’t see this movie yet, well at least not with some difficulty. This is a feature that I saw at the Portland Horror Film Festival, and it was by far my favorite. This will be available for streaming probably at the end of the year. It’s making the festival run right now, so if you can catch it at one, definitely do.
Dustin Goebel, the man, the myth, the @dgoebel00 on intstagram made this.
https://youtu.be/w-KbcVlzn1s
Synopsis
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die tells the story of mad scientist/surgeon Bill Cortner as he tries to defy the laws of nature and resurrect the dead. In a tragic car accident, Bill’s wife Jan is decapitated and he rushes to save her head with science!
While Jan’s disembodied head begs to die, Bill and his lab assistant Kurt search far and wide for the perfect replacement body for his wife. Preferably one with big’ole titties.
UP TOP!
Review of The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (2020)
The Brain that Wouldn’t Die is a loving remake to the 1962 film of the same name. You might recognise it from Mystery Science Theater 3000, when they lambasted the original reanimated head-on-a-table film.
The Original on MST3K
This film is surprisingly faithful to the original with a lot of the original dialogue, but with a distinctly more humorous tone. It’s in the realm of B-Movie homage comedy/horror films like Re-Animator and Young Frankenstein. That may sound like hyperbole, but this film is very similar to those two, and really funny.
Most impressive is how well they pulled off this film with an estimated $80,000 budget. To give you a sense of how little that is, the original that was actually filmed in 1959 had a budget of an estimated $62,000, which would be over half of a million in 2020 dollars.
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (2020) Poster
The lead played by Patrick Green is pitch perfect, and the acting from the rest of the cast really sells the serious, but not serious tone of the movie.
If you would like a more modern take on brains and how they work, check out our review of Possessor Uncut.
Score
8/10
MST3K The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
Since you can’t watch this version, let the MST3k episode tide you over.
Definitely go see it if you can. If you are a fan of Mel Brooks style humor, this is well worth your time to seek out.
Look for it at film festivals near you, and on streaming services later this year.
Spoilers
Expand for Spoilers
It’s kind of silly to care about spoilers on a remake of a 60 year old movie, but here are some points of discussion that we had on the episode.
The opening black and white credits are copied from the original film. This is underscored by the original music. This really sets the stage for a 50s-60s B-Movie experience
The tone of the film is established right out of the gate. The acting is intentional overacting, and sight-gags start immediately. As Bill is performing a surgery in the opening scene, a comical amount of perfectly timed blood sprays directly into his eyes.
The next sight gag, which is a favorite of the writer producer Hank Huffman, is the two doctors ripping off their scrubs to reveal full suits and ties underneath.
A lot of the dialogue is taken directly from the original movie. Even seemingly comedic lines like “our baby isn’t going to be a test tube baby” is in the original. Some of my favorite lines are:
The response to “let me die” is “we should do as she asks”
“I am the only man in the world capable of reviving a human head.”
“She’s been decapitated”, “What!?”, “it means beheaded”
“never mind her, she’s recovering from a brain injury.”
The Lodge is a movie that is heavy in tone and aesthetic, that went to great lengths to disguise the danger and keep the audience guessing as to what or who may be behind the nefarious details of the story.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
The Lodge is a story of two families, both with a tragic past that meet to determine who has it worse.
We have the Hall family, who are a fractured family of four, father Richard (Richard Armitage), mother Laura (Alicia Silverstone), older son Aiden (Jaeden Martell), and younger daughter Mia (Lia McHugh). Laura and Richard have clearly been taking a long break from their marriage and this has treated Laura much worse than it has Richard.
We also have Grace (Riley Keough), who is the only surviving member of a now dead, death cult which just so happened to be led by her father.
Needless to say, both of these families have their fair share of problems.
As the story unravels, the audience is left guessing as to what and where the danger may be coming from, but the tension is undeniable.
The Lodge is a very interesting movie for a lot of different reasons. The directors, Severin Fiala, and Veronika Franz made a lot of wonderful choices that put this squarely in my “favorite movies of 2019” box.
The framing and location choices were bleak, cold, and clinical. This is an easy movie to compare to Hereditary based on many of the filming and set styles used. Lots of the shots are on the pretentious side of artistic and that’s just fine by me.
The mood was mostly sad, and strangely dangerous, with the story constantly dangling danger at the periphery of the audiences vision but never quite letting it come fully into the light.
Just when you think you have a good handle on what is going on, the rug is pulled out from under you, which happens several times in The Lodge.
There is lots of allusions to danger, and coincidences in this slow burn thriller to keep any hardcore thriller fan happy.
While I had quite a good time with the movie I must say, the content is deadly serious and fairly heavy, which left me with a gross taste in my mouth at the end, but that’s part of the allure.
Here at Horror Movie Talk, we are family people, and have made it very clear that one of the horror elements that work best for us in movies is the breakdown of the family structure, and The Lodge has that in spades.
Score
9/10
The Lodge Spoilers
Click here to expand spoiler for The Lodge
Re-imagining of “The Turn of the Screw”
I didn’t know this going in, but after the 2/3 point I started to realize that I was familiar with this story. The Lodge is a re-imagining of “The Turn of the Screw“.
It’s much better than another “Turn of the Screw” based movie, The Turning, which was released at almost the same time as this movie.
While the characters all have vastly different pretenses for their being in the situation, the story is still very much the same. This story gives a much more contemporary and compelling reason for the caretaker character, who is Grace, and an alarming background to her and the children she is in charge of.
So let’s take a brief look at how The Lodge unfolds and compare that to it’s original counterpart.
There is definitely some symbolism going on here with the turkeys
The Kid’s Backstory
The movie starts with Laura Hall, the mom, dropping her kids off at their dads house. Richard asks Laura if they can finalize their divorce noting that it’s gone on long enough and heis going to marry Grace in several month. Laura storms out and, in a very shocking scene, commits suicide.
The movie jump-cuts to a “6 months later” screen and we get a sense of how distraught Aiden and Mia really are. They argue with their dad that they don’t want to go to their vacation lodge with Grace because she is crazy.
They are often shown playing with dolls in a playhouse built to look just like the vacation lodge that their family owns. With this playhouse they seem to act out scenes that come true, indicating they are somehow manipulating those around them.
Grace’s Backstory
Grace has an even darker past than the Hall kids. She is the only remaining member of a, now dead, death cult that was led by her father. There is footage shown early in the movie that is shot by a young Grace, finding all of her family and friends dead in this gruesome mass suicide.
How it Comes Together
As Grace and the remaining Hall family settle in to the lodge for Christmas, Richard gets called by work for something urgent, and leaves his fiance Grace in charge of the kids.
At this point we are ever so slowly dipped into hell as a series of inexplicable events turn this lodge into a purgatory of sorts. Everyone’s belongings go missing, the power goes out, even the characters who should die, don’t. The whole while the audience is left guessing at whether it’s the kids, Grace, or something more sinister at work.
Who Did It?
It’s finally revealed that the kids have been messing with Grace the whole time, but while they did, they took away her medication.
Remember, Grace has a seriously fucked up past, so she has some serious demons that she has had to conquer to make it to a seemingly normal life.
Grace is pushed over the edge and retaliates in the most extreme of ways.
Final Recommendations
The Lodge is one of the slowest burns I have seen since Gretel and Hansel, but I enjoyed this even more than that. If thrillers and extremely dark subject matter are your thing, this is a fabulous movie.
If you are squeamish when it comes to emotions or the family unit being torn apart, steer clear.
Hellraiser Review
Jul 08, 2020
Clive Barker’s Hellraiser is a transgressive journey into a world where the lines between ecstasy, pain, heaven, and hell are blurred. It stands as a unique counterpoint to the one-note slashers of the 1980s.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Hellraiser is about a psycho sexual sadist named Frank that seeks out a personal pandora’s box. He believes that by opening the mysterious puzzle box, he will get everything he ever wanted in life. Turns out he was mistaken and he didn’t end up liking eternal pain in Hell. Whodathunk?
When Frank’s brother Larry and his wife Julia arrive at the family house that Frank mysteriously disappeared from, flashbacks reveal that Frank made his brother a cuckold by sleeping with Julia.
When Larry accidentally cuts his hand and bleed on the floor of the attic, he inadvertently helps Frank begin resurrecting himself.
When a mostly goo Frank is discovered by Julia, he recruits her to bring sacrificial singles in their area so that he can become a real boy.
The only thing standing in their way is Frank’s niece Kristy, and the hell-demon Cenobites that seek to recapture him.
https://youtu.be/8mOn4h0lgKQ
Original Hellraiser Poster
Review of Hellraiser
This film is Clive Barker’s best film, and it is a unique mix of family dysfunction, sex, sadism, and gore.
At times it feels like a 50’s melodrama, other times like a nightmare, and sometimes like torture porn.
The tone that it sets is hard to put a finger on, but it is definitely dark and icky.
The surreal imagery and goopy special effects are really the best parts of the film.
The acting isn’t particularly great, but the imagery and themes of the film overwhelm any shortcomings it has.
Score
9/10
Hellraiser
Add Hellraiser to your collection or stream it now.
We watched tremors and I have to say that this may be the epitome of a made-for-TV-movie feeling movie. I’ve seen it 20 times and I’ll see it 20 more during my life, and that’s a good thing.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Tremors follows Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward) in their attempt to leave Paradise Valley, Nevada, while doing odd jobs and handyman work. As they make their way up and down the valley between odd jobs and quirky small-town characters they begin to notice a string of seemingly related ground-level killings.
Upon meeting up with a grad student, Rhonda (Finn Carter) who is doing some important if timely seismic research, they learn that there are a bunch of little earthquakes – or tremors – happening all over the valley.
Before they jump the gun on declaring that there is a 100 foot tall, 200 ton serial killer on the loose, they find evidence of a subterranean suspect. A worm of sorts.
The rest of the movie is spent running for their lives from an unlikely, if terrifying phenomena with a ton a quirky townsfolk.
Tremors, by director Ron Underwood, is one heck of a solid movie. It’s basically a monster movie, but it feels a bit more like an action-thriller to me because of all the action and adventure that takes place, along with lots of changes of scenery and methods.
Tremors is a nearly perfect movie in terms of it’s script, who we have S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock to thank for . Everything that is said or mentioned is followed-up on or ruled-out at some point in the movie. Almost nothing extraneous or unneeded is mentioned, and all the characters play a wonderful role in making Paradise Valley a believable place.
Maybe the best part of Tremors is it’s intense focus on the characters instead of the monster. Sure, we see the monster but the focus of every scene is on the characters and getting the audience to empathize with them. This forces a pivot in the otherwise fucked-out monster movie paradigm. It’s why Jawswas great, and it’s probably no coincidence that this is essentially a Jaws remake – even down to the movie poster.
It’s terrifically ironic that a movie that focused so much on the characters instead of the monster spawned five completely monster-focused sequels that lack most of the charm of the first, with exception of the second movie, Tremors II : Aftershocks.
Many horror skeptics will say that this movie is not a true horror movie noting the goofy fun and light ambiance, but I beg to differ. Not only is Tremors definitely a horror movie, it’s the most important kind of horror movie – entry level horror.
This is the stuff that I watched as a little kid and sent me scrambling for the rocks. It hooked my pint sized imagination and lit up every corner, making me wonder if it really was safe to play tag on the playground or if I should seek the high-ground.
Tremors is interesting, has wonderful tension, and most importantly is fun as any movie you will ever watch.
Score
8/10
What Makes Tremors so Great?
From an entertainment and rewatchability standpoint this is a bit of a sleeper, but upon review, it holds up quite well. a big part of this is the horror aspect mixed with good, old fashioned humor.
Humor in Tremors
The humor in this movie is goofy, and downright wholesome, but it’s good enough to make you smile on every viewing. The wholesomeness of an early 90’s feel good sitcom mixed with the horror elements of Jaws really works.
It’s directly responsible for the late success of the movie on television. In theaters, Tremors did poorly with a 5 million dollar take on what cost 11 million to make. But the real success of this movie kicked in with syndication on cable TV. I watched it probably 20 times on TV because it was fun, funny, and always on.
You Can’t Beat Burt!
Burt (Michael Gross) and Heather (Reba McEntire) Gummer are just as much the leading actors as Val and Earl in this one, and how couldn’t they be? They are preppers and gun enthusiasts without being insane, instead just a little quirky.
You probably know a Burt, which is what makes this character so fun. But the character of Burt isn’t so over-the-top as to make him not human. He’s passionate, but not a caricature.
Burt brings the boom in this movie, and it’s just what the doctor ordered.
Graboids are Awesome
In my personal experience, it’s rare for monster design to work out well. It’s even rarer to have monster reveals work out well, but in this, Graboids are handled perfectly!
The monster design is simple, believable enough that it’s not totally jarring (unlike Pumpkinhead), and the presentation is fabulous.
Each Graboid is killed in a totally different way, but they follow the same rules. For example, the first one that is killed runs into a concrete wall while chasing our protagonists. This perfectly sets up the last Graboid kill, where Val runs toward a cliff and uses a bomb thrown behind the creature to scare it to make the jump onto the rocks far below.
The movie increases the tension before even first showing our worm like friends, which sets up the reveal quite well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK7-tBuEoq4
These guys are great at reviews and have good taste, check them out.
What Tremors Gets Wrong
So, it’s not all great, but what is? The worst aspect of this movie is definitely the musical score.
Bad Music Makes a Big Difference
I’ve talked a bit about how this movie is very similar to Jaws, and that’s mostly to it’s advantage, but they got it wrong in terms of music.
OK, I get it, it’s hard to stand-up to one of the best musical scores of all time, but man, you have to try! Tremors soundtrack digs deep into that 90’s sitcom bin of pop-country jazz riffs and pulls out the most goofy music you can imagine. A part of me says it works for nostalgia, but that’s the same part that cringes at nostalgia.
Ernest Troaost wrote the original soundtrack, but they only ended up using it for a few spots in the movie, most notably at the beginning and end. The good, suspenseful bits that are actually effective but not quite iconic were later written by Robert Folk.
Final Recommendations
This is the most crowd friendly movie that we have reviewed, even more so than Gremlins. Tremors is a very light-fair, action-thriller that goes easy on the cussing and sexual themes in favor of tension and violence that the whole family can enjoy.
If you haven’t seen this, you absolutely must.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer Review
Jun 24, 2020
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is a fictionalized, and harrowing vérité portrayal of real life serial Henry Lee Lucas. This is a movie that will stick with you and make you feel dirty. We’ve been sitting on this review for a while, but are excited that it is finally seeing the light. We recorded it back in September of 2019 to be a backup episode when we needed to take a week off. Turn’s out, we rarely take a week off.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/IU3P6WXzvXU
Synopsis
Henry played by Michael Rooker, is serial killer constantly on the move, but is momentarily staying with his former cell mate Otis (Tom Towles). Also living with them is Otis’ out of state sister Becky (Tracy Arnold). She flys in to escape her abusive boyfriend and to try to find work to bring her daughter down to live with her.
The drama in the film is in the interaction between these three characters. The trio is a powder keg trauma, sociopathy, and victimhood. However, as the title of the film suggests suggests, the main purpose of the plot is to paint a stark and unflinching portrait of Henry as a serial killer.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer Poster
Review of Henry
This is one of those films that feels a little too real. Even though it is definitely a narrative driven Hollywood film, it shows the realities of killing in such plain detail that it almost feels like a documentary.
When I told David about this movie I described it as “Taxi Driver, but without the touchy feely parts”.
You are thrust into a world of people that are deeply broken and are dangerous to each other and themselves.
It feels like a snuff film, mainly because within it, is a snuff film.
Henry reminds me of a couple of my favorite movies in terms of subject matter and tone. First is David Fincher’sSeven, and even more so, Darren Aronofsky’sRequiem for a Dream. It’s a film that sticks with you and makes you feel dirty just watching it. This is because unlike most narrative driven Hollywood movies, this one has no glamour or spin. It is full of dread and terror even in scenes that on the surface are innocuous.
It is undeniably a great film, just from the fact that I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it and it deeply affected me.
Score
10/10
Spoilers
Expand for Spoilers
The film opens strong with flashes of hyper-realistic crime scenes with brutally murdered corpses. This communicates one thing: buckle up.
It feels very real early on. There is no veneer on this film. Compare this to another serial killer movie made the same year: Manhunter. Manhunter is highly stylized and a romanticized, fetishized portrayal of serial killers, Henry feels like a documentary in comparison.
This feels like it’s the first movie of it’s type, and probably the greatest because of it’s commitment.
The character of Henry is loosely based upon the real-life serial killer Henry Lee Lucas. As in the film, Lucas was acquainted with a fellow convict named Ottis Toole (although in the film, the character’s name is only given as Otis). Additionally, Lucas became the lover of Toole’s eleven-year-old niece, Frieda Powell, who lived with Lucas and Toole for a while, and often went under the pseudonym of “Becky” (although in the film, Becky is Otis’ sister, rather than his niece, and is considerably older than Powell was).
Also as in the film, Lucas ultimately killed Becky. Furthermore, like the fictional Henry, the real Henry’s mother worked as a prostitute from her house, often forcing him to watch her while she had sex, and occasionally making him wear a dress. The real Henry’s father had also lost both his legs in an accident, prior to which he had been a truck driver, just like the fictional character. However, the actions of the fictional Henry are inspired not by Lucas’ real crimes, but by his fabricated ones.
In prison, Lucas confessed to over six hundred murders, claiming he committed roughly one murder a week from 1975 to 1983. Ultimately, however, the vast majority of these claims turned out to be false, while many of the rest could not be substantiated.
Lucas was simply confessing to every unsolved murder brought before him, because doing so ensured better conditions for him, as law enforcement officers would offer him incentives to “confess”. Such confessions also increased his fame with the public. In the end, Lucas was convicted of eleven murders, and sentenced to death for the murder of Frieda Powell, although his death sentence was later commuted to life in prison by the then Governor of Texas George W. Bush.
The characters in this film is a group of completely broken people. Henry and Otis are raised in abuse and become predators, and Becky turns into an ideal victim. She has a real casual attitude about getting abused and sexually assaulted.
Henry describes his MO as killing in a different way each time and moving on, which is probably how most serial killers get away with it in real life.
Henry and Otis go and murder a family and film it. This is the realest scene of murder I have ever seen on film.
Henry Ending Explained
Henry goes on the hunt, but doesn’t kill anyone, when he returns Otis is raping Becky. After killing Otis. Henry escapes with Becky. The whole time you wonder what’s going to happen with Becky, until inevitably he kills her.
Despite the close connection that Henry seems to have with Becky, he can’t help himself. The film is really great at showing how unfeeling killers are towards their victims. And that’s why it feels so real, because they don’t make Henry “crazy”, he’s just a pure predator.
Scream Review
Jun 17, 2020
Scream is maybe the best slasher ever made. It’s also the horror movie of the 90’s in every way that you can imagine. More than that, it’s a meta take on the genre of slashers.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis for Scream
Scream is the story of a bunch of 20 somethings that haven’t managed to graduate high-school yet and their quiet town of Woodsboro that has a serial killer problem and its fair share of quirky characters.
Our main girl Sydney, whose mother was murdered a year ago loses a friend to a horrific double homicide and quickly becomes the focus of the deranged and seemingly horror movie obsessed killer.
As the killer cuts a swath of … killings… through the town the very old teens begin to realize that they are dealing with someone who strictly follows the rules of slasher flicks. And they end up with more death then they bargained for.
Directed by Wes Craven and sporting an impressively sexy and notable cast, Scream defined and poked fun at horror movies for the casual movie going audience. It was one of the most easily accessible horror movies of my generation, being mainstream enough that parents all around the world wanted to watch it, which meant kids got to watch it too.
While it was accessible, it was also shocking and legitimately disturbing because it focused on uncontrollable teens as the killers – who doesn’t find that scary?
Not to mention, Scream was released in 1996, a mere three years before the Columbine school shooting, edging out reality by mere inches.
It is the most solid slasher I have ever seen – it’s disturbing when it’s supposed to be, fun when it’s supposed to be, and has a fabulous premise.
Score
8/10
Spoilers
Scream is an impressive who-dun-it, that throws an interesting and disturbing twist in at the end.
As it turns out, Billy and Stuart, the movie obsessed hot-heads, have been doing the killings in tandem for shits and giggles, but also because Sidney’s mom slept with Billy’s dad and caused his parents to break-up.
The thing that really gets me about this movie is the dedication to self-harm between Billy and Stuart to avoid having the finger pointed at them as part of their master plan.
When they start stabbing each other and willingly taking severe damage, it upsets me to my core. There is something about watching two people who are emphatically engaged in nearly killing each other but not in a fight, on purpose, that is so sick and twisted.
Couple that with the excitement they have about re-enacting their favorite horror movie killers – it’s just gross.
Final Recommendations
Scream is a solid movie and it’s probably the best slasher I have ever seen. I have to say, if you haven’t seen it, you must. It’s a 90’s nostalgia machine that will leave everyone with something to think about at night.
Portland Horror Film Festival™ Goes Virtual For 2020
Jun 15, 2020
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
Portland Horror Film Festival, the Pacific Northwest’s premiere horror genre film festival, is going virtual! Horror Fans can soak up over 60 short and feature films over the 6 night event beginning June 10th with the first shorts block and a preview of the festival’s upcoming features. The terror continues June 17-21st with more short and feature films from around the world.
Central Dental
In the midst of this pandemic, some businesses are finally starting to re-open, but there is no way to know when theaters in Portland will finally open, and how many people will be allowed inside once they do. Many events have had to postpone again and again due to this uncertain timeline.
First Night
Festival Directors Brian and Gwen Callahan believe the right thing to do is follow the lead of amazing festivals like Fantasia and CFF, and present Portland Horror Film Festival as a dynamic streaming event for horror fans all over the US. While going virtual creates challenges for the festival, independent filmmakers, and distributors, the directors believe it is important to continue to evangelize independent film and show the year’s best horror films to the community. Rather than cancel or postpone the festival until things are “safe”, which only increases the stress and uncertainty of these times, going forward with a streaming event offers important relief and a sense of stability to horror fans who are stuck at home. Beyond helping horror filmmakers and fans, ticket sales will also benefit the historic non-profit Hollywood Theatre, the seat of independent cinema in Portland, which is currently closed due to the pandemic.
Karaoke Night
All films will be integrated into carefully curated nightly shows and securely streamed during limited event hours for ticketed audience members. Because a film festival is more than just watching movies, nightly programming will feature both pre-recorded and live content, including film introductions, interviews with horror icons, and live filmmaker Q&As that the audience can take part in. “Our goal is to foster the sense of community that makes our fest so magical, with a fun and eventful stage and screen show… just on a virtual stage,” said Brian Callahan.
Little Willy
This year’s feature film lineup opens on Wednesday, June 17th with Wild Boar, starring Augie Duke and Daniel Roebuck as geocachers who quest for a legendary treasure, only to end up as fodder for mutant pig-men. Wild Boar was written and directed by Oscar winner Barney Burman, known for his makeup effects on JJ Abrams’s Star Trek, Zombieland: Double Tap, and the TV series Grimm. Thursday’s double feature kicks off with Sunset on the River Styx, a surrealist and contemplative story of two lovers who fall into a vampire death cult, from writer/director Aaron Pagniano, winner of the Funny Bone Award for last year’s horror comedy short “We Got a Monkey’s Paw.” Come for the vampires, but stay for the zombies! Witness Infection is a hilarious tale of mobsters and zombies directed by Andy Palmer, written by Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911) and Jill-Michele Meleán (MadTV, Reno 911), who star alongside Robert Belushi, Vince DonVito, Erinn Hayes (Children’s Hospital), and Tara Strong (Rick and Morty). Don’t miss fan-favorite Justin Harding’s Making Monsters, The Curse of Valburga from Slovenia, with its hilarious splatterfest of international tourist stereotypes and jaw dropping kill scenes, Uncle Peckerhead with its punk-rock demon action, written and directed by Matthew John Lawrence, winner of the 2016 Funny Bone Award for his horror comedy short “Larry Gone Demon,” and the World Premiere of The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, a crowdfunded love letter to the 1962 B-movie, filmed here in Portland.
Making Monsters
Short film offerings include a wide variety of seriously terrifying, thoughtful, funny, and Weird films from all over the world, including the Czech Republic, Russia, Poland, Italy, Portugal, Iran, The Netherlands, France, Spain, Canada, the UK, and the US. Fans of the bizarre will want to tune in Saturday night for the “Shorts Gone Wild” block of the most unhinged films on offer.
Sunset on the River Styx
Even if you’re not in Portland, you can immerse yourself in the experience with a Deluxe Patron of Horror Ticket Package that includes an exclusive t-shirt, souvenir lanyard, and a Portland Horror Face Mask, so you can forage for toilet paper in style!
Candyman 2020 was supposed to be coming out in theaters this week, but that obviously isn’t happening. To tide over your sweet tooth for Candyman, we’ll be reviewing the original this week. Also in this week’s episode of Horror Movie Talk, we discuss our new logo, play a new game, and read comments from social media from listeners like you.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him.
Synopsis
The film follows grad student Helen Lyle as she researches for her thesis on urban legends. When she stumbles across the legend of Candyman, whose story seems to be alive and thriving in the poverty stricken projects of Chicago. The legend involves an African American, Bloody Mary-eque apparition that appears when his name is called in front of a mirror. Instead of the three “Bloody Mary’s”, you must say Candyman five times, in some sort of supernatural 3/5ths compromise.
When the skeptical Helen calls Candyman five times in her mirror, she seals her fate and is led through a terrifying journey to discover the reality of the film’ boogey man.
Candyman is impactful, and multifaceted. Tony Todd is an instant icon in horror with his unique silhouette and hypnotic disembodied baritone voice.
There is an uneasy balance between Candyman being a sympathetic and seductive figure, and that of being the realization of some deep seated racist fears. While watching this, my wife pointed out that some of the racist connotations of the plot, and my knee jerk reaction was to defend the film and say she was grasping at straws.
But as time went on… there was actually a compelling argument to be made for it relying on long held racist stereotypes about the dangers of black men.
Regardless, it’s a compelling gothic horror tale told well with the backdrop of nineties urban Chicago. Candyman is an iconic monster, and is one of the best horror movies on the topic of an urban legend.
This is definitely a nineites horror movie that is worth seeing. While it’s not perfect, it does create a great mythology and monster in Candyman.
Mentioned in the Episode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmHEv7pmB-g
B. Marks’ horror themed movie room.
Evil Dead 2 Review
Jun 03, 2020
We watched Evil Dead 2 on Amazon and this movie has been a favorite of mine since I was a little kid. The combination of stop motion, practical effects, and Bruce Campbell’s amazing physical acting makes for one of the best comedy horrors ever made.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/6lM3NPeEG24
Evil Dead 2 Synopsis
Evil Dead 2 is the story of Ash and his girlfriend Annie who drive deep into the woods to have a nice time breaking and entering into a cabin that isn’t theirs. Following their felony, Ash stumbles upon the Necronomicon Ex Mortis – the book of the dead.
The book served as a passageway to the evil worlds beyond. Written long ago when the seas ran red with blood, and this blood was used to ink the book. in the year 1300 AD the book disappeared.
Ash plays a tape recorder with a translation of the pages from the book, and that’s enough to unleash more evil than they bargained for.
Evil Dead 2 (1987) is sort of a remake of the first movie that started it all The Evil Dead, by Sam Raimi. It’s not a step by step remake, and it differs in a lot of ways, but the premise is very similar – people go to a cabin in the woods, find the book of the dead, and are attacked by a long-dead evil.
Where the first movie is deadly serious and quite disturbing, Evil Dead 2 takes a more comedy-based approach while maintaining an incredible array of shocking visuals. The effects in this are so over-the-top that it’s pushed into goofy, nervous laughter territory.
Couple these super-cool effects with Bruce Campbell’s most incredible performance of all time. He carries this movie in a way that amazes me every time I watch it. For almost half of this film Campbell manages to act alone, with almost nothing to react to and his energy is unbelievable.
Finally, I really enjoy how this movie manages tension with silence and stillness juxtaposed with loudness and chaos. It’s a classic that’s based on a classic, and Ash gets a sawed off chainsaw for a missing hand coupled with a sawed off shotgun – the most bad-ass pairing of weapons since peanut butter and chainsaws for hands.
Score
10/10
Spoilers
If you haven’t seen this movie, you really must.
Evil Dead 2 takes a very simple premise and creates a playground of special effects around it.
There isn’t a tremendous amount to spoil in this one, it’s mostly the story of how a long-dead evil is summoned at an old cabin in the woods, and what Ash does to put it back in its place.
The end result is the most fun you may ever have in a horror movie, action is everywhere. The violence is so insane and prolific that you can’t help but laugh at the spectacle of it.
No one but Sam Raimi could have pulled this thing off, and to be honest, no one ever has. The 2013 remake, Evil Dead is technically a remake of the first movie. So, number two continues to stands alone.
Final Recommendations
Everyone you know should watch this movie.
As Above, So Below Review
May 27, 2020
This week we watched As Above, So Below on Netflix. This tight package of a found footage adventure horror holds up very well over the years. Maybe we’re too easily impressed, but when a horror movie sets up a compelling premise, has interesting characters with motivations that makes sense, and a plot that maintains interest, it’s hard to be displeased.
On today’s episode, we review As Above, So Below, play a new trivia game with Ben Warrington, and read the latest from Horror Movie Talk’s social media accounts.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/Fq358xHbzN4
Synopsis
Loosely based on the classic literary work Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, this film follows a ragtag team of archeologists as they follow clues to find the legendary philosopher’s stone.
Their search takes them into the labyrinthian catacombs under Paris. Paris, France. As they wind themselves deeper into the claustrophobic caverns and through the nine circles of Hogwarts, they fight against their own demons and encounter far more than they bargained for .
Review of As Above, So Below
As Above, So Below is to found footage movies as your racist uncle’s one black friend is to all black people: It’s one of the good ones. The film is a combination of Indiana Jones, The Descent, and… let’s say… a haunted house movie. It starts off very strong, and sets up a full fledged plot, which is surprisingly rare in a found footage film.
The subgenre usually leans heavily on gimmicks and “unscripted” banter, and it’s a welcome relief that this one doesn’t. Also rare in found footage movies, the characters are actually fleshed out with relationships and backstories.
It gives you enough of a reason to be hooked and interested early on, and has enough mystery and scares to keep you interested throughout. The idea of setting a horror movie in the Paris Catacombs is brilliant, and they take full advantage of all the elements that make them scary in real life. It’s huge and maze-like, it’s claustrophobic, caves be caves, and spooky bones.
It’s not without it’s flaws, but they are few and far between. The phrase “we gotta keep moving” is uttered one too many times for my taste. Like, really? We can’t rest and reflect for a minute after a lifelong friend just died? But honestly it’s hard to find things to complain about with this one.
Score for As Above, So Below
9/10
Final Recommendations
This is a must watch in my eyes. It is accessible enough for fans of Brendan Fraser’s The Mummy, and scary enough for fans of The Conjuring. Watch it today on Netflix or, buy it on Amazon.
It Follows Review & Cat Solen Interview
May 20, 2020
We watched It Follows on Amazon Prime, and to me, it remains one of the very best movies released this century. I have seen this movie mentioned in many “Best of” lists and quite a few “Worst of” lists, so it’s controversial, but it will give you something to talk about either way.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkZYbOH0ujw
Synopsis
It Follows is a story that focuses on a group of kids and one girl, in particular, Jay (Maika Monroe).
At its outset, this is something of a romantic story that soon gives way to terror. As Jay’s new relationship with Hugh blossoms, she allows herself a glimpse of happiness before being forced into hell.
It’s hard to say much about It Follows without giving away spoilers, but suffice it to say there is a monster, and it follows specific, defined mechanics.
Review for It Follows
When I first saw It Follows, it was in theaters, and I knew nothing about it other than that it was a horror movie. When I walked out of that theater, I had a distinct impression that I had seen horror history.
The care that went into making everything about this movie is immediately apparent. The musical score, the framing, and attention to detail, the use of extras – it’s flawlessly executed. Add to that a concept that is unique and taps into the core of our humanity, and I think you come away with a perfect movie.
It’s more than just a chilling concept or a well-executed film – It Follows feels like a new thing in horror. It feels like a movement toward the conceptual idea of what drives horror. Strip down the overburdened tropes and monsters that make up what horror was for decades, and leave just the essentials.
Like it or hate it, I can promise you that this movie will give you something to debate with your friends about for years to come.
Score
10/10
Spoilers for It Follows
It Follows is such a wonderfully done movie that is so simple that once you understand what’s going on, there isn’t a whole lot to spoil. Instead, let’s take a look at what works in this movie.
Endless Ambiance
The mood of this movie can be described as heavy melancholy, which is an exciting and unique choice in horror movies. The acting and the bleak settings tee up this feeling of sadness and innocence lost that works, especially with this perverse subject matter.
The acting is especially impressive when you consider that there are almost no adults at all in It Follows – just a bunch of teens. They all feel real, and they all seem like they are being left alone by uncaring or unavailable parents. These teens bond and end up sleeping wherever they end up at night.
The setting shifts between suburban Detroit and abandoned Detroit. The use of abandoned buildings and houses adds to the ambiance in such a fantastic way without being full of effort. Maybe I enjoy the setting so much because we never get to see movies that are set in these bleak and downtrodden areas. Perhaps it’s because I have a soft spot for Detroit.
Incredibly Perverse Subject Matter Done Right
It Follows is about a shapeshifting, slow-moving monster that is a sexually transmitted disease. If you have sex with someone who is infected, they pass the monster’s invisible leash to you, and suddenly you are granted the ability to see this monster.
The catch? The monster can look like anyone, even people you know and love. It can use these people to get to you and kill you; once you are dead, it moves on to the person who passed it to you.
It Follows could have been a raunchy sex-capade with a bunch of crass, boring, overused bullshit – but it’s not. Every sex scene is either tender and loving, or a deception, and many instances of sex are merely insinuated and take place off-screen entirely. The result is a very classy and thought provoking film that doesn’t take any of the easy routes.
Think about it. There are three ways to pass this disease on to the next person so you can avoid being killed by the monster:
You trick them into loving you and have sex with them
You love them and have sex with them whether they know you have it or not
You rape them
Those are the options and none of them are appealing.
Compelling Monster Mechanics
The way that this movie is laid out sets the stage for endless gameplay theorycraft. The age old question of “What would you do in a zombie apocalypse” is reimagined with the workings of this monster.
The best chance for your continued survival if you are infected would be to create a monster user manual that you can pass to your next partner and they can pass to their next partner. But sometimes you just need to take a rest from all the running, which might mean having a quicky with someone you view as disposable.
There are multiple confounding factors to add to the basic rules that make the game harder or easier. Are you good looking? Are you a male or a female? Are you a sex worker? Are you a swinger? How smart are you? All of these questions and more play a role in the likelihood of your survival. And remember, once you’ve passed it on, you can let your guard down only so far as you trust your partner’s ability to stay alive and pass it along.
There is a moment early in It Follows where Annie asks Hugh who he would want to be in a crowd of people they are amongst. Hugh says he would want to be a young boy standing with his parents and when questioned as to why, he says something like, “things were so simple as a kid”.
Once you have sex, a part of you is forever changed, and a new world of possibilities and uncertainties are forced upon you. Every person you sleep with has the chance to be very dear to you, or they could hurt you deeply.
Lovers can be wonderful and bring lots of joy to your life. They also might spread a STD to you where a previously invisible monster becomes visible only to you and endlessly follows you everywhere you go in an attempt to brutally murder you.
Artistically Intentional
It Follows is made with such care and so much attention to detail that you just have to give it it’s due. The framing is always thoughtful, keeping strangers walking toward the camera in the background, or off a character’s shoulder works so well. It keeps the eye looking for what or who might be after Annie at all times.
There are all these beautifully framed shots that are still shots, or attached to a wheelchair, or above shots – it’s fabulous artistry.
Final Recommendations
You are better off watching this movie, so just give it a go.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Review & Robert Englund Interview
May 13, 2020
The hits just keep on coming over here at Horror Movie Talk! During quarantine, we’ve been catching up on all the classic slashers. This week we rewatched the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, and reminded ourselves why this franchise has such staying power.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
A Nightmare on Elm Street wastes no time introducing you to one of horror’s greatest villains. Tina Gray, played by Amanda Wyss, is being chased in a dream by an unknown assailant with knives for fingers.
Before the fedora wearing pizza-faced man can introduce himself with a M’lady, Tina wakes up in cold sweats. Later we learn that this vivid nightmare is shared by her group of friends, including Nancy Thompson, played by Heather Langenkamp, Glen, played by Johnny Depp, and her boyfriend Rod, played by Jsu Garcia.
Soon we learn that the scary man in everyone’s dream is a formerly alive child killer and pedophile (?) named Freddy Kreuger, played by the inimitable Robert Englund.
Review of A Nightmare on Elm Street
This slasher upped the ante of 80’s slashers by unabashedly adding fantasy elements into the genre. The Freddy franchise became one of the most lucrative horror franchises of all time. And for good reason!
The premise of a killer that comes to you in your dreams and can kill you in real life is truly unescapable. No zombie fortress, or gun can save you from Freddy. Everyone sleeps.
The film not only introduced one of horror’s most iconic figures, it also the bloodiest mainstream horror movie up to that point. It’s a tightly packaged and thoroughly conceived film.
Most of the scenes and special effects hold up even today. Some effects, admittedly fall flat, and a few enter the realm of so bad their good. Regardless, it still deserves its place as one of the genre’s tentpole films and cemented the creator, Wes Craven, as one of horror’s greatest minds.
Score
10/10
Robert Englund Interview
Robert Englund himself called in to talk with Horror Movie Talk about his latest project, JJ Villard’s Fairy Tales on Adult Swim. Skip to time code 54:06 in this episode to listen to Freddy himself chat about his life in horror.
Friday the 13th (1980) Review & JJ Villard Interview
May 06, 2020
We watched the original Friday the 13th on Shudder, and while it definitely represents the film version of pulp, it’s the original upon which so many slashers have been based. It delivers in a charming way and the twist is still impressive after all these years. It’s 40th birthday will be this Saturday, May 9th, 2020.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCO4v-pFBns
Synopsis
Friday the 13th is the story of a group of teen counselors who are setting up a summer camp at Camp Crystal Lake.
It details the short story of the final days of these teen counselors. We also get a glimpse into small town americana, which is unbearably quaint. There isn’t a lot of story to this one, and that’s the point.
Friday the 13th was the first independent film of it’s time to secure distribution in the U.S. by a major studio (Paramount).
Directed by Sean S. Cunningham (who went on to write and produce many sequels) and written by Victor Miller, Friday the 13th was the second of the big franchise slashers to hit the scene, following the success of 1978’s Halloween.
This movie birthed so many tropes and trends that it’s almost comical. It is also a great place to see Kevin Bacon in one of his earliest and sexiest roles.
While it’s no crowning achievement in filmmaking, Friday the 13th does set the stage for 80’s horror very nicely with a parade of sexy but disposable characters, great practical effects by Tom Savini, and tense music by Harry Manfredini.
Friday the 13th is a classic that is only dwarfed, in my opinion, by the sequel, Friday the 13th Part 2. If you haven’t seen this movie, don’t expect to be blown away, instead expect to gain a better understanding of the foundation of the slasher genre.
Score
7/10
Friday the 13th Spoilers
I’m going to level with you, even though there is a hefty twist at the end of this movie that is made better with time, you’ve had 40 years. Get with it.
First-person killing
A huge portion of Friday the 13th is spent stalking the campers with the camera in first-person perspective. This places the audience square in the feet of the killer and while that’s not a big deal today, it was in 1980. Sure, Halloween and Black Christmas had done this to a small extent, but it’s like the calling card of this whole movie.
To make the first-person perspective even more important, we are given clues throughout the film. We get to see the big work boots worn by the killer, and the rough leather gloves they are using.
We automatically assume that these manly accouterments lead to a big burly man – you know, the myth of Jason! But that just makes you a big sexist pig!
Who is the killer?
The one who is stalking around the camp and killing young lovers and camp counselors is none other than – Mrs. Voorhees! That’s right, she’s been stalking the camp for the last 20 years, taking revenge on those who she blames for the death of her son, Jason.
Critics were furious at this movie for a variety of reasons, mostly for being a n exploitation film that was sexist and distasteful. Apparently the irony of the killer being a woman was lost on them.
Packaging horror in the neatest of boxes
Friday the 13th accomplished such a beautifully simple packaging of the slasher genre into a neat little package that it’s no wonder why it spawned so many copycats. It was so chalk full of sex, murder, and weird, cautionary morality lessons that it was bound to be duplicated.
It threw caution to the wind and it’s sails caught a big breeze that allowed it to crank out a new sequel every year for most of the 80’s. Think about that. When was the last time you saw something with so much appeal? Harry Potter and Marvel Cinematic Universe come to my mind.
Final Recommendations
This movie is so quaint and tame by today’s standards that I really would recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it, so long as they are interested in horror. This is a great entry to bring a new horror head into the genre because it gives the viewer such a strong idea of where all the tropes come from.
Don’t Miss JJ Villard’s Fairy Tales on Adult Swim!
JJ Villard is our guest on this episode and gives us a peak behind the scenes for his new show, JJ Villard’s Fairy Tales. Check out the trailer and the premier on May 10th at midnight on Adult Swim!
The one, the only (well not really), the original! Yes the time has arrived to finally unleash our review of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This episode we recorded over a year ago, back when we were zygotes.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Texas Chainsaw Massacre stars Mike Myers as a San Francisco poet who fears commitment and suspects his girlfriend may have a knack for killing off her significant others. Oh wait, that’s So I Married an Axe Murderer.
No, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the story of a massacre that happened in Texas that involves a chainsaw. Maybe the intro crawl to the movie explains it best.
https://youtu.be/KGj1ZbM_4eQ
(narrated by John Larroquette)
https://youtu.be/T3TILW0O_C0
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously regarded as one of the greatest horror movies of all time and has been highly influential in the genre. If I had to describe this movie in one word, it would be “unhinged”. A lot of elements from this film and the low budget could have made this movie a hot mess, but somehow Tobe Hooper pulls off a coherent and terrifying masterpiece.
Score
10/10
Inspiration for TCM
This movie is one of three horror classics inspired by Ed Gein. The other two being Psycho and Silence of the Lambs(Buffalo Bill).
Ed Gein “only” killed two women, so he’s not technically a serial killer, but he would dig up dead bodys and make stuff from their skin and bones.
Soon after his mother’s death, Gein began to create a “woman suit” so that, as he stated, “…could become his mother—to literally crawl into her skin”. Gein denied having sex with the bodies he exhumed, explaining: “They smelled too bad.”
Here is some of the items authorities found in his house:
Whole human bones and fragments
A wastebasket made of human skin
Human skin covering several chair seats
Bowls made from human skulls
A corset made from a female torso skinned from shoulders to waist
Leggings made from human leg skin
Masks made from the skin of female heads
A heart “in a plastic bag in front of Gein’s potbellied stove”
Nine vulvae in a shoe box
A belt made from female human nipples
A pair of lips on a window shade drawstring
A lampshade made from the skin of a human face
Final Recommendations
It’s a must see. If you are into horror movies, you just need to see it. It goes down in history with the likes of Halloweenand Friday the 13th for supremely influential slashers movies.
Quarantine Movie Review
Apr 22, 2020
We watched Quarantine for free on Crackle and it hasn’t lost it’s luster. This is still a staple of the found footage genre, and one that sticks out in my mind for a number of reasons. On this episode we go over the movie, play a rousing game of Attack of the Rotten Tomatoes, and talk about what happened to us over social media over the last week. We also discuss a bit of what it’s been like in our own quarantine.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
Quarantine is a 2008 American recreation of the 2007 Spanish film REC. It’s very similar to REC in just about every way, but because it’s out of Hollywood, it seems to have dwarfed the original, despite not being as effective.
Quarantine follows a reporter, Angela, who is doing a slice of life piece on some local firefighters in LA. As she goes on a routine call with the crew, they end up at a small tenant building that houses a variety of residents.
It soon becomes apparent that there is some kind of infection going around the building as matronly and old tenants begin to brutally attack those trying to help them. The firefighters, camera crew and the tenants are all locked inside and soon they find themselves with more quarantine than they bargained for!
I enjoy this movie because it has a great start, middle, and a decent ending, although it’s impossible to beat the ending of REC even though this tries. It has all the elements that make a great found footage movie.
The story is compelling, the situation is extremely relatable…now, and there is plenty of shaky-cam footage to keep your eyes clawing at the edges of the frame for whatever that thing was that just ran by.
I will say that Jennifer Carpenter’s acting gets in the way of the ending of this movie. She hams it up to such an incredible degree that I couldn’t stop thinking about every middle school girl nervous breakdown I ever witnessed or had myself – and there were more than a few.
A freakishly pretty Jennifer Carpenter
Even with the overacting, I think Quarantine stands out as one of the classic found footage examples. If I had to point people to a movie to watch, I would point them at REC before this. You can find REC right now on prime for a few bucks.
Score
7/10
Spoilers for Quarantine
After watching this movie, it’s a lot more simple than it seems as it’s unfolding – not that it seems terribly complicated. It has a learn-as-you-go structure and there is a mystery that slowly unravels: why are we being quarantined and what is this sickness?
It starts with some engaging banter between our reporter and her firefighter subjects. I always enjoy horror movie beginnings that are light and breezy and fun. It’s a refreshing palate cleanser to what is going to become a horrendous scenario.
Queue the horrendous scenario. They get to the apartment building and they meet some creepy old grannies who are obviously afflicted with some malady. Ms. Espinoza, one of the old ladies in question, attacks a firefighter and rips out his jugular.
Ms. Espinoza…this bitch…
What is the infection in Quarantine?
The only real spoiler in this movie is what the malady is that affects the tenant building. In the first act we learn about a little girl in the building who has a mild fever. She has a little dog, who is also sick and was taken to the vet yesterday.
Well, this little dog was infected with some sort of super rabies it attacked some other animals in the vet that they took it to, and those animals started showing signs of rabies after only one hour, which is about a month too fast.
The CDC was notified about the dog and they traced it back to this building. Turns out, there are some rats loose in this building that exhibit the signs of rabies.
Good thing too, because while normal rabies is nothing to scoff at, this is sooo much worse!
Rabies public service announcement
To avoid rabies, these are the signs that animals with the disease portray:
Aggressiveness
Agitation
Hallucinations
Muscle spasms
Seizures
Paralysis
Sensitivity to bright lights, sound, or touch
So, these rabies rats come from the attic, where a tenant who rents it keeps a bunch of experimental rodents and news clippings of his satanic death cult. Turns out, he’s been working on weaponizing the rabies virus, and either he set some rats loose in the building on purpose, or they escaped by accident. I haven’t seen Quarantine 2 but I bet they tell more about the story there.
The End
The end of Quarantine is not nearly as strong as REC even though it tries to accomplish the same thing. The problem is the camera, the monster, and the hyperventilating Jennifer Carpenter. It’s so loud and fast in this movie that when they find the emaciated rabies monster in the attic, there is no dread or tension to go along with it, just a panic attack being had by our reporter friend.
The end of REC, on the other hand, is downright chilling, and remains with me to this day.
Final Recommendations
If you’ve already seen REC or if you can’t stand subtitles, this is a great found footage movie with break-neck pacing and some really intense moments. Otherwise, start with REC then watch this to compare.
This week we watched The Wicker Man (1973) which can be found streaming on Netflix, and it lives up to the hype. On this episode, we are joined by Ben Warrington with his recommendations for movies to stream during quarantine, and we also read comments and questions from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Synopsis
The Wicker Man is about a wicker man. No, it’s actually about a scottish constable, Sargeant Neil Howie, played by Edward Woodward who is called to investigate the disappearance of a little girl off of the secretive and secluded Island SummerIsle. The main thing that you need to know about Sargeant Howie is that he is tired of your shit. The main thing you need to know about SummerIsle is that this Island Fucks.
The Wicker Man Poster
As Sergeant Howie investigates the disappearance of Rowan Morrison, it becomes quickly apparent that the islanders are not to be trusted. They have shifty eyes from the outset, and even worse, they are Pagans! The devout Christian Sergeant Howie is ill equipped to face the strange rituals and attitudes found to be taught and practiced on the island. These blasphemous rituals include singing and dancing around the maypole and … premarital sex!
Blasphemers!
As the mystery of the missing girl gets unraveled, Howie learns about the agrarian origins of the island and its reliance on the old gods to provide a plentiful harvest. Sometimes the old gods demand sacrifice. Just sayin.
https://youtu.be/a-tDnavDCwI
Review
The Wicker Man focuses on the true horror, feeling uncomfortable around weird people.
This movie is a classic for a reason, it is very discombobulating, and you experience the confusion that Sargeant Howie does. Anyone with a conservative christian upbringing might not have as extreme reaction to the Paganism as Howie, but the feeling of discomfort about sex and blasphemy is probably familiar.
The darkness at the root of this island is felt throughout, but isn’t overt. Mostly it’s a feeling of being toyed with and mocked. The island is like a bunch of Mean Girls.
The enduring legacy of the film is it’s conclusion and I don’t want to spoil it for those that haven’t seen it. All I can say is it made me feel lots of emotions, almost like a religious experience
Score
10/10
The Wicker Man (1973)
Add the Blu ray to your collection or stream it right now
I pretty much knew the plot of the Wicker Man from the Radiohead music video for Burn The Witch, and also heard that the ending of Midsommar was very similar, but I was genuinely effected by the ending of The Wicker Man.
https://youtu.be/yI2oS2hoL0k
This music video is based on The Wicker Man. There are spoilers.
The pacing of the film really lulls you into a false sense of security. You know pretty much from the get go that these islanders are acting suspicious, but the immediate conclusion is that they are covering for someone in the village that commited the murder.
However, as we see the islanders, especially the landlords daughter Willow, continue to fuck with him, it seems like there might be a larger conspiracy. Along the way, there is enough clues revealed, that it feels like the secret is that Rowan is alive and going to be sacrificed.
I’d let her fuck with me…
The conclusion arrives, and it is revealed that Sargent Howie was the target all along. They had specifically researched him and identified him as the ideal sacrifice to the gods for a plentiful harvest. He was:
An Adult Male
A Virgin
He comes with the power of a king in that he is a police officer
He is a Christian
He is a fool
When it is revealed that the method of sacrifice is to have Howie burned alive in a wicker man, it is genuinely terrifying. The camera stays with Howie as he sees the fire licking up at him in his final moments. It was deeply affecting.
Imagine this is the last thing you see before you die.
Final Recommendations
If you want to delve into the classics, I would definitely add this to the list. If you watched Midsommar and want more of that.
Videos Mentioned in This Episode
https://youtu.be/4m2WutlqBk0
Wayne, were you ever attracted to Christopher Lee in drag?
https://youtu.be/SHcsubkm0tg
New intro song be like…
The Platform Review
Apr 08, 2020
We watched The Platform on Netflix with a bunch of HMT fans over the Chrome Netflix Party extension and boy, I love this movie! While I am certain that lots of purists will debate whether this is horror or not, I assure you, it’s worth the watch and will definitely find some way to make your skin crawl. The timing of this release makes me wonder if Netflix has a bunch of totally apropos titles just waiting in the wings to be released whenever they are most relevant.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
The Platform Synopsis
The Platform is about a prison called the pit where there are three kinds of people; the ones above, the ones below, and the ones who fall. This is a twisted place where every cell contains two people and is stacked on top of a seemingly endless column of other cells.
https://youtu.be/6gVAIx7OeyI
Every day there is a massive banquet comprised of everyone in the prison’s favorite dish. This banquet contains enough calories for everyone in the pit to survive. The catch is the banquet is placed on a platform that stops at every cell for a short time, and it starts at the top and works its way down.
Some prisoners are there by choice, some are there because of a crime, but there seems to be a promise that is made to all of them upon entry into the pit – if you do your time and make it out, you will be granted increased social standing.
Our protagonist is a man called Goreng (Ivan Massagué), who spends time with several of the inmates of the pit. As he learns the ropes, he also seems to take issue with the inherent societal problems that it represents: greed and desperation.
The Platform REVIEW
The Platform is a Spanish film by Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, and it’s one of the most unique ideas that I’ve seen put to the screen since Cube.
The minimal but rigid design of the pit echos in the sci-fi dystopian walls of the film itself.
You know the sick and twisted world that lay in the basement of Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs? That terrifying and perverse reality that we like to forget exists in the real world? That feeling is magnified in The Platform and made the subject of the entire movie.
MMM, tastes like class oppression!
To make it even more hard-hitting, The Platform is clearly a commentary on humans and society today. While it’s hard to draw many direct analogies with the real world, the standout one seems to be human nature and the greed inherent therein.
The Platform is not without hope, but it is chock-full of extreme violence, imagery, and ideas that make this a real stomach turner.
This movie stays with me, and I wouldn’t mind watching it again. It doesn’t hold your hand, and there is clearly a lot of theorizing that one can do to try and determine the symbology and lessons within.
Score for The Platform
9/10
Spoilers
The Platform does a lot of things right. It maintains mystery, drama, tension, and is clearly meant to stand for something. Anything that you might be interested in, this movie probably touches on it. On top of all of that, it doesn’t hold your hand, leaving you free to interpret it’s message or take it at face value.
ECHO, ECho, echo
In favor of spoiling the movie point by point, I will instead share with you a few basic premises of this movie that I find the most relevant and exciting.
The Rules of The Pit
The prison known as “the pit” is a mostly lawless place with a few given rules. They are as follows:
Some prisoners have opted in, others are being punished, but upon serving your time in the pit, you will be granted elevated social status.
Everyone is allowed to bring one item with them to the pit.
The platform contains everyone within the prison’s favorite meal made to perfect standards.
The platform arrives on each level containing a live person once a day for some short amount of time.
Each set of prisoners spend one month on the level that they are randomly assigned. If you lose your cellmate, you will be given another upon placement next month.
At the end of a month, all prisoners are put to sleep by gas and placed, randomly on a new level.
Anything goes within the pit. There is no law or order that can be broken.
If you try to hold on to food for later, the temperature of your cell will be raised or lowered until your death.
The Meaning of The Platform
I really enjoy movies that clearly have a purpose or message, and that purpose or message is left somewhat obscured. I won’t tell you what it means because I don’t know for sure. I will tell you what it could mean.
Hell Allegory
There is an obvious allusion to the pit being hell because there are 333 cells within it, which means there are 666 prisoners. Besides, it’s just about as hellish as you can imagine, especially on the lower levels, which seems like a nod to Dante’s Inferno.
At the very least it’s some sort of purgatory, where people do their time and wait for judgement. At the worst it means torture and death. Even living can mean hellish conditions like someone keeping you alive to feast on you gradually to make sure your flesh doesn’t spoil as quickly.
Socio-Economic Allegory
Goreng decides to bring a book with him to the pit, but not just any book. He brings Don Quixote, a book whose main character is a proponent of equal rights. This is interesting because everyone’s rights within the pit are equal, but that doesn’t mean everyone will be happy about it. Equal rights and equal outcomes are different beasts, and here equal outcomes are not law.
It’s clear that The Platform is meant to be a commentary on capitalism. Capitalism is an interesting beast because it allows you to succeed or fail, but guarantees nothing. Capitalism doesn’t play favorites, so many end up losing.
Final Recommendation
If you are a fan of psychological horror or Cube, you will enjoy this movie as long as you have a strong stomach. It’s not gore-porn, but there are disturbing concepts throughout. I had a blast watching this, and the dubbing didn’t bother me one bit.
David’s Review of Bye Bye Man
Apr 01, 2020
The Bye Bye Man. What can be said about this extremely average film? Maybe you shouldn’t see it or think about it, but in all honesty, if you have some family that likes bad slashers, you should probably see this film on Netflix right now.
https://youtu.be/ZGdOnCiQRpQ
The Bye Bye Man is an average slasher that features a bad guy who is an amalgam of The Candyman and Freddy Kruger.
This isn’t one of our normal reviews as Bryce and I have been forced to record two separate podcasts due to the quarantine. Check out Bryce’s episode here.
Score for The Bye Bye Man
5/10
The Bye Bye Man
Add the Blu ray to your collection or stream it right now
Magnus, one of our longest listeners has consistently asked us to review The Bye Bye Man. So this is his fault.
Because of social distancing measures and out of an abundance of caution, Me and David recorded our thoughts on The Bye Bye Man separately. Stay safe out there.
Artwork by @dgoebel00 on instagram. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/ZGdOnCiQRpQ
The Bye Bye Man Synopsis
The Bye Bye Man is about a Bye Bye Man. A reverse three’s company of two guys and a girl move into a house together and one of them discovers a dresser with disturbing scribbling on the inside that repeats the phrase “Don’t think it, don’t say it.” When he rips out the drawer liner, underneath is written the words “The Bye Bye Man”. Turns out he thinks it and says it. WACKY HIJINKS ENSUE.
Bryce’s Review
This movie is bad. We knew it would be bad going in, but ugh, it was rough anyway. The major flaw in this movie is that the writers were so enamoured with the concept of “Don’t think it, Don’t say it” that they forgot to include an actual plot in the movie. The film is actually based on a really badass sounding urban legend. The original story had a much more complex mythology for the Bye Bye Man: He was an albino born in New Orleans in 1912 who ran away as a child and became a derelict who lived in a train yard. After going blind he began murdering people and cutting out their eyes and tongues, which he sewed together and brought to life using voodoo. The resultant creature became the Bye Bye Man’s literal seeing-eye dog, helping him hunt his prey. Several elements from the story- notably the dog and the motif of trains– were retained for the movie, though their purpose is left undefined. So much so, that if you only watch the Bye Bye Man, your only knowledge of him will be that:
He exists, and
He’s bad.
Bryce’s Score for The Bye Bye Man
2/10
Watch The Bye Bye Man
The Bye Bye Man is streaming on Netflix, but is also available to rent or buy on Amazon.
The Bye Bye Man
Add the Blu ray to your collection or stream it right now
We watched The Taking of Deborah Logan on Shudder because right now, this virus is threatening all of our old people. I have to say, while my initial first watch impressions of this movie were much better, this is still a solid horror movie about the compelling topic of old people gone crazy.
Sorry for the artwork. Dustin Goebel, our normal artist has had a lot of instability with this whole virus thing, so he had to take a break this week. This picture is courtesy of an art staffing agency, a man named Ben B. drew this….thanks Ben..
https://youtu.be/DnZNojsjlQM
Help Your Local Theater Through the Shutdown!
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A film crew shows up to Deborah Logan’s (Jill Larson) house where she and her daughter, Sarah Logan (Anne Ramsay) still live. The setting is very East Coast rural, and there is only Harris (Ryan Cutrona), the groundskeeper who hangs around to help Sarah and Deborah.
The film crew is there to document Deborah’s descent into Alzheimers. The agreement is that the crew gets to make Deborah the focus of their documentary, and they will pay handsomely for that privilege. Sarah realizes that they need the money if Deborah is going to continue living and maintaining this home, but Deborah is private and would rather the crew not be there.
As the days progress, disturbing signs of Deborah’s mental health quickly arise and give way to questions about whether this is the signs of a degenerative aging disease, or whether it’s something else.
There are lots of signs of cult activity surrounding Deborah and her life of secrets as the town’s original telephone switchboard operator, but how much of it is nonsense, and how much is real.
In the end, Sarah and the film crew end up with more Deborah than they bargained for.
The Taking of Deborah Logan Review
The Taking of Deborah Logan is a bit of an odd duckling on my second viewing. On my first viewing, I was so struck by the pacing and shocking nature of the visuals that I overlooked some of the film’s more problematic issues.
Don’t get me wrong, this film can almost stand on it’s disturbing scenes and tension built cleverly around a very real issue that many people have to face. But the wires begin to show a bit on a second viewing when you aren’t dazzled by the initial shocks in The Taking of Deborah Logan.
I feel like a lot of the camera work for the documentary is extraneous, but not in a good way. Paranormal Activity 2 is a shining example of extraneous footage that works to build tension, but Deborah had a hodgepodge of silly angles and shaky cam footage that didn’t work in favor of the movie.
That said, I really love this movie! The imagery, the cult aspect, the old person who can’t be controlled – It’s great. The execution of the whole thing is pretty darn good too. The pacing is really what makes this movie a must-see because it’s so fast that there is never a chance to get bored.
Did I mention the impressive and shocking imagery?
Score
8/10
Spoilers
This film is about Deborah’s descent into a weird kind of cult possession. It starts out looking like Deb just has some severe form of Alzheimer’s, but ends up looking like she is a snake possessed by Desjardin’s ghost. So… pretty typical.
Deborah Logan before snake cult photoDeborah Logan after snake cult photo
In seriousness, the real spoilers here are that Deborah was the town switchboard operator for a long time. This required her to keep a lot of secrets for a lot of people or risk losing their business.
One of the secrets that she was required to keep was of a dying man named Henry Desjardins, who, in an effort to gain immortality began sacrificing virgins on the date of their first menses. Again, pretty typical stuff.
Desjardins got 4 of the 5 virgins he needed to complete his pentagram shaped ode to the serpent cult before he bit the big one. But it was Deborah who made sure that Desjardins didn’t accomplish his goal. She stopped him the only way she knew how; the old fashioned killing him method.
His 4 out of 5 virgins did get him a pretty potent ghost form that allowed him to possess and severely mess up Deb in her later years.
Deborah Logan says, “Get off my lawn”
In the end, Desjardins was driven from Deborah when they burned his remains, freeing her from his serpent ghost grasp.
The imagery at the end of this movie is some of the best and most shocking I’ve ever seen. It has stuck with me for years, and I love it for this.
Final Recommendation
See this film if you enjoy found footage. See The Taking of Deborah Logan if you enjoy hard horror.
Wrong Turn (2003) Review
Mar 18, 2020
Wrong Turn is a blast from the past, but was it a blast to watch it? Eh. It is what it is. It’s a guilty pleasure horror movie that features psychotic inbred mountain men. If that sounds like your bag, give it a watch. Regardless, listen to our review, because we probably had more fun reviewing it than watching it.
Artwork by @dgoebel00 on instagram. Follow him and check out his website. Wrong Turn Poster
Wrong Turn Synopsis
The synopsis is simple. A group of random people in their early twenties are attacked by inbred homicidal mountain men. Some of them have paint by numbers backstories and archetypes, really their purpose and motivation is to be fodder for a slasher. Everyone that you think will die dies, and everyone that you think will survive survives.
Review
Wrong Turn came out in 2003 and I genuinely forgot how long ago that was. Nokia phones, bare midriffs on women, and pooka shells on men. It was a simpler time. And this is a simple movie to match it. This is a good old fashioned, dumb slasher. The only unique twist on the generic formula is that the antagonists are a family of inbred homicidal hicks. Oh wait, that’s not unique, that’s a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Whatever, who cares, the people that want to watch slashers just want to see people getting chased and cut up. In that respect, this movie excels, because that’s basically all that happens. People get chased and cut up. Rinse and repeat.
Score for Wrong Turn
5/10
Wrong Turn
Add the Blu ray to your collection or stream it right now
There really isn’t much to spoil. This is a highly predictable slasher, and everyone that you expect to die, dies.
What next?
If you are in the mood for another slasher, you can’t do better than Sleepaway Camp.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose Review
Mar 11, 2020
We rented The Exorcism of Emily Rose on Amazon, and while Bryce couldn’t seem to stay awake, I was reminded of one of my favorite possession movies ever made. This was a Patreon pick of the month, and they voted on it, so we reviewed it.
Synopsis of The Exorcism of Emily Rose
The Exorcism of Emily Rose is directed by Scott Derrickson (Sinister) and is the story of a court case where The People are prosecuting Father Moore (Tom Wilkinson) for the negligent homicide of Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter). Good news for Father Moore, Erin Bruner (Laura Linney) is on the case.
https://youtu.be/cmLfRVVRbmg
As we are walked through the trial, we get glimpses into the hellish end of days that made up Emily’s life. She was a deeply devout catholic girl in a deeply devout catholic family, and that never seems to be a good combination in possession movies.
The defender of The People is Ethan Thomas (Campbell Scott), and he makes the claims that Emily was epileptic and psychotic, which could have been treated medically.
Erin has to come to terms with her own lack of faith to depict this priest in the light of his intentions and the reality that the possession was real, and the exorcism was vital to save Emily from the devil.
Review of The Exorcism of Emily Rose
The Exorcism of Emily Rose is an interesting and well-executed movie that really floored me the first time I watched it several years after it’s 2005 release. I’ve seen it a handful of times since then, and it continues to be compelling to watch.
The visuals in this movie work best on the first go-around, so it didn’t have the same disturbing impact on me this time as it did my first viewing.
I appreciate the new twist on an old classic – being told from the perspective of the homicide case made it much less of a movie about possession and much more of a movie about faith and religion. The Defense attorney had her own brushes with the demonic during her trial, which gave the movie stakes in the present.
This movie respects the audience and shows a lot of restraint in favor of fewer terrifying moments. The result is that these very disturbing scenes have a heavier impact.
I’m a sucker for a well-made possession movie, and this is exactly that.
Score
8/10
Spoilers for The Exorcism of Emily Rose
This starts with a great ambiance shot of a dreary farm-house in a mist-covered field. A medical examiner shows up to find Emily deceased, surrounded by her family, and in horrific condition. He can’t conclusively say that the cause of death is natural, which makes a great allusion, not only to murder but to the possibility of satanic possession.
How’s eating bug for ambiance?
The Religion/Science Dichotomy
The Exorcism of Emily Rose asks the interesting question of, “What is possession, real or explained away with mental health diagnoses?” I love the way this movie tackles that question. First, from the side of the Prosecution (science), then from the side of the Defense (religion).
Many times we will see Emily acting possessed, and horrible things will happen to her that appear to be because of the supernatural. For example, she will be out in the field in the throws of possession, and stigmata will appear on her hands. When viewed from the side of the Defense telling the account, it will appear as it the mark on her hands show up without any outside influence. When viewed from the side of the Prosecution, it shows that Emily grabs tightly onto a barbwire fence, producing the wounds in the palm of each hand.
Ouch!
I enjoy the way this movie walks the line between religion and science – never tainting the audience with a “true” fact one way or the other.
The Exorcism
We only get to see bits and pieces of the actual exorcism of Emily, but what we do see is harrowing. The actual (real-life) exorcism of Emily Rose (a girl named Anneliese Michel) included 67 exorcism attempts.
One of the best parts of the movie is when we learn that Emily has not one, but six demons residing in her. I really can’t explain this and do it justice, so check out this clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvTVqWhssoM
The Verdict
As the trial draws to a close, we get to see the closing arguments made by both sides. The Prosecution makes the case that this poor girl died a horrible wasting death while in the care of Father Moore.
The Defense makes a great closing statement. If you scroll up to the top of this page and listen to our podcast episode, you will hear her whole closing statement at timestamp 1:02:54.
Final Recommendation
If you are in the mood for a possession movie, this is one of the best. It’s an interesting movie told from a unique perspective and it has aged quite well. The only other possession movie we have reviewed as of the release of this review is The Devil’s Doorway, and Emily Rose is a much better choice.
The Invisible Man (2020) Review
Mar 04, 2020
The Invisible Man is the first horror movie of the year worth… seeing. Writer/director Leigh Whannel reframes the H.G. Wells source material in a thrilling and fresh adaptation. After two months of truly mediocre horror releases, The Invisible Man is a gasp of fresh air.
Artwork by @dgoebel00 on instagram. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/Pso0Aj_cTh0
The Invisible Man can be…SEEN in theaters now.
Film Synopsis
The Invisible Man follows Cecilia, played by Elizabeth Moss, as she fearfully escapes her manipulative and violently abusive boyfriend Adrian, played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Soon after she leaves him, he commits suicide and leaves her a considerable amount of money in his will. Her deceased ex was one of the world’s foremost experts on optics and was very wealthy. Cecilia is still mentally scarred by their abusive ex, that she finds it hard to believe that he is actually dead. This seemingly unreasonable paranoia gets confirmed to her as she is haunted and by an unseen tormentor.
This Invisible Man ramps up the terror and violence to the point that everyone around Cecilia assumes that she is having a mental break. Even her closest friends and family don’t believe her, leaving her hopeless as she tries to defend herself. She struggles to prove that her ex is still alive and continuing his abuse while he actively tries to frame her for murder.
Review of The Invisible Man
I’ll tell you what. This movie is a breath of fresh air after a stagnant two months of new releases in the horror category. It’s is written and directed by Leigh Whannell who you might know as the writer/director of Upgrade, or as an actor in The Bye Bye Man. He shows himself to be very competent at writing and directing with this film.
The skill of Whannel is shown in the opening of The Invisible Man, which follows the motto of “show don’t tell”. So much is communicated about Cecilia and Adrian’s relationship just from her actions and facial expressions in the first 5 minutes of the film. The film also shows a lot of well tuned restraint by not focusing on the sci-fi elements like most other Invisible Man movies do.
It’s themes explore the topic of abuse in a really interesting and thought- provoking way. Abusive partners are often “invisible” to the world since that side of the abusers personality isn’t often shown to others. The historical abuse of Cecilia in this film feels real and tangible, even though it’s never shown in flashbacks. It’s communicated through the aftereffects and trauma that Cecilia displays.
This is a great example of a thriller that leans into the horror aspects of that label. There are genuinely surprising moments and many times that I jumped out of my seat.
This is a very very good movie, and you should definitely see it.
Score for The Invisible Man (2020)
9/10
Spoilers
Expand for spoilers section
Adrian
The Adrian character is pretty “invisible” to the audience throughout the whole movie. This isn’t just because he is physically invisible, but also because his motives are murky, and we are only given second-third hand information about him from the other characters.
We briefly get a glimpse of him when he attacks Cecilia in the car as she leaves, but we don’t get a good look at him until the very end of the movie.
It’s very effective. Once we do see him, the charmed veneer is completely undercut by what we have witnessed throughout the movie, allowing the audience to experience the distrust that Cecilia experiences first hand.
Cecilia’s disbelief
Cecilia when she is informed of Adrian’s death, it is is obvious that she is very suspicious. She is used to being ghostlit and manipulated.
Only until she sees the will and the urn with “Adrian’s ashes” does her countenance change to relief.
Once she starts experiencing unexplained sounds and occurrences, it seems like she immediately recognizes the presence, even without seeing Adrian.
Empty Shots
A lot of shots of this movie were of empty space, ala Paranormal activity. It was actually very effective. The premise of the movie tells us that something could be there at all times, and the audience is always looking for movement to betray Adrian’s presence.
James Lanier
The one stand out presence in this film was definitely Aldis Hodge playing James Lanier, the cop who is housing Cecilia.
He made us question our sexuality.
The Best Scene in The Invisible Man
The best scene by far is when Cecilia invites her sister to dinner to reconciliate, after Adrian sends a cruel email from her account. The scene feels like it is setting itself up as a turning point for Cecilia getting her only family member back on her side.
All of a sudden, a knife floats in the air, and then swiftly slits the sister’s throat. It is an instantly iconic scene that is genuinely shocking.
Adrian’s Brother
The mystery of the film is the question of how Adrian is invisible and really why he is still tormenting Cecilia. Eventually these questions are answered, and Adrian’s lawyer brother Tom is in the middle of it.
Tom is the lawyer that contacts Cecilia, and even though he is a little prickly, he confides that Adrian abused him all of his life, and that there was no love lost there.
It turns out that Tom didn’t really hate his brother, or at the very least was in cahoots with him. Adrian’s motives were to get Cecilia back and to have a child with her. Tom ends up being the messenger for Adrian.
The Invisibility was achieved with a suit equipped with thousands of cameras. Cecilia discovers that there are two of these suits and hides one.
Towards the end of the film, Tom is actually the one in the suit, and ends up getting killed.
Adrian is found tied up in his basement. This is an obvious ruse to frame Tom and get another chance at Cecilia.
The ending
Cecilia tries to get a confession out of Adrian, but he is too clever and knows what she is trying to do.
Cecilia excuses herself for a moment, and in full view of the surveillance camera, Adrian seemingly picks up a knife and slits his own throat. In reality, Cecilia has put on the extra invisibility suit and murdered him.
Cecilia then returns within view of the camera to “discover” Adrian bleeding out.
https://youtu.be/qiBt_pXbXmQ
Brahms: The Boy II Review
Feb 26, 2020
We saw Brahms: The Boy II in theaters and it was so bland and unfulfilling that I questioned whether or not I want to spend my free time reviewing movies of this caliber. As soon as I asked that question of myself, I realized that the answer is obviously – yes. I need to watch these boring hunks of junk to make sure you don’t have to.
@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/ytxEldPKnyA
Synopsis
The Boy II is a stand-alone sequel to the somewhat more interesting movie, The Boyfrom 2016, which you can currently watch on Amazon for $3.99.
This is the story of a family of three, Liza (Katie Holmes), Sean (Owain Yeoman), and their son Jude (Christopher Convery) that escape to the countryside to heal after a burglary gone wrong at their house in London.
Jude, the young son stops talking following the attack, and when the family shows up at the guest house on the Heelshire estate (where the original The Boy took place) he finds a doll buried in the woods.
The doll and Jude share a lot in common: not talking, staring blankly at whoever addresses them, generally being boring, and desiring to kill whole families. Through a notepad that Jude uses to communicate, we learn that the doll is named Brahms, and he has a bunch of rules for the family to follow.
You would be surprised how stringent these rules are, so they are broken often and the family is thrown into an uproar each time.
Eventually, we find out that Brahms is more doll than this family bargained for.
Review
Brahms: The Boy II is a sincerely boring movie that does everything technically correct on paper. Casting, acting, pacing, direction – it’s all passable. The end result is boring as sin, though. At least movies like Fantasy Island are so zany that they are fun in an ironic way.
Brahms: The Boy II bored me to tears and I don’t believe that you should ever watch it.
Score
3/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand for Brahms: The Boy II Spoilers
As I write this I am bored to tears at the prospect of having to relive the minutiae of The Boy II, but here it goes.
Jude is Mute
The burglary/attack on Liza and Jude really did a number on them, and Jude ends up going mute. Great, now we have to hear two nagging parents dote on their child throughout this already tedious script.
Jude going mute is supposed to add to the spook factor of the whole thing by making us relate to the parent’s further challenge of reaching their troubled child. Instead, Jude having to write out his every response adds padding to an already slim movie.
Jude not talking also helps to draw a closer parallel with him and Brahms, the doll. By the end of the movie, Jude is dressing, doing his hair, and wearing a mask that makes him look just like the doll
Look exciting? Right, it’s not.
The Brahms Doll
MORE:Click Here for our blog about some of the most deadly horror movie dolls
Brahms is truly one of the most uninspired and generic horror movie dolls that I’ve ever seen. He has no hook, nothing that makes him interesting at all.
What are Brahms origins? There was once a boy on the Heelshire Estate that killed his family. His soul got into his doll.
That’s it.
The End
Brahms: The Boy II ends in the least satisfying way it possibly could have – a history lesson. The groundskeeper tells the family about the backstory of the doll and gives us a bit of a montage of the destruction the boy doll caused.
The dad smacks the doll’s head and a weird creepy face is revealed beneath his smooth veneer.
Then the cliffhanger at the very end, once the danger is gone, is that Jude still enjoys wearing doll-like masks and might still kill his family.
Neat.
Final Reommendation for Brahms: The Boy II
This isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen but in terms of something that’s worthy of your time, it ain’t. Don’t support this; we want less of this.
Horror Movie News with Ben Warrington
Spiral: From The Book of Saw – Darren Lynn Bousman takes the helm of the 9th installation of the Saw franchise. Written and starring Chris Rock, this movie has an expected release date of 15th May 2020 worldwide. Also starring Samuel L Jackson, so get ready Mother Buckets!
Borderlands Movie – Hostel director Eli Roth is helming Gearbox’s long-in-the-works Borderlands movie. A film adaptation of the popular post-apocalyptic comedy shooter was first announced all the way back in 2015, with development being handled by movie studio Lionsgate.
Orphan Prequel – William Brent Bell, the helmer of such horror films as The Boy, The Devil Inside and Wer, has come on board to direct Esther, the prequel to 2009 hit Orphan.
A24’s Saint Maud– The debut film of writer/director Rose Glass, “Saint Maud” is the latest bold horror movie from A24, the studio that brought you Robert Eggers’ “The Witch,” and Ari Aster’s “Hereditary” and “Midsommar.” Opening March 27, 2020 in the U.S., the film premiered at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Watch the first trailer for the film below.
Shudder March Additions- “The Room” premieres on March 12; in this film about the dark power of wishes one couple discovers having everything they want is a dangerous proposition. March 19th brings Fangoria’s “Satanic Panic” to the service. The Chelsea Stardust directed film blends horror and comedy for a different take on the final girl fighting to survive. “Daniel Isn’t Real” finally makes it way to Shudder on March 26th. Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins star in the story of a man whose imaginary friend poses a threat to his sanity as well as his life. Make sure you use that promo code to watch some simply amazing horror!
We went and saw Blumhouse‘s Fantasy Island, and it was exactly as good as you would expect it to be. It’s a needless remake of the campy 70’s TV show of the same name. It’s entertaining, but nothing to write home about. One this episode of Horror Movie Talk we give our full review and breakdown of the film.
https://youtu.be/a6O30nJ02PU
Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island can be found in theaters now
Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island Synopsis
In this film adaptation of the campy 70’s TV show, five guests played by hotsuppleyoungactors and Jimmy O. Yang arrive at an exclusive and secretive island resort run by the mysterious Mr. Rourke, played by Michael Pena. Each guest gets to experience one and ONLY one fantasy until it plays out to “it’s natural conclusion.” And get this… [SPOILER WARNING] the natural conclusion…is spooky-scary.
Review
My assessment of this movie upon leaving the theater was “This is a 10/10 for a 5/10 movie,” and I stand by that. This is not a great movie, but it does meet the table stakes of being entertaining. The premise is interesting enough, the dialogue isn’t completely awful, and the acting is actually pretty good. The fantasies each have their own unique flavor, and end up intermingling in interesting ways. The “12 inch pianist” genie level twists are different levels of tacked-on.
The most natural dark twist comes with the revenge fantasy from Lucy Hale’s hottie character Melanie. It makes sense that actually hurting other people that hurt you might not be as pleasurable as you would imagine.
Other fantasy twists range from weird but interesting to completely eye-rolling-ly artificial in premise.
The first 3/4s of the film go down a predictable and competent path to set up the premise, develop the characters, explain the fantasies, and show the dark side of each. The last fourth is a series of “surprises” and reveals that feel like the film version of a run-on sentence. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island isn’t deep or earth shattering, but giving credit where credit is due, it is entertaining.
Score for Fantasy Island
5/10
Spoilers for Fantasy Island
Expand for spoilers
The characters and their fantasies
JD and Brax are the super bro brothers played by Ryan Hansen and Jimmy O. Yang. Their Fantasy is to “have it all,” which equates a huge party with thirsty hotties of both sexes.
Former mean girl victim and current THOT, Melanie is played by Lucy Hale. Her fantasy is to get revenge on her high school tormentor.
Gwen, played by MAggie Q, wants a second chance at life by reliving a marriage proposal.
Patrick, played by Austin Stowell, wants to play soldier and be a hero.
The “natural conclusions” of the fantasies
JD and Brax’s party gets crashed by the drug lord that wants his house, money, and coke back.
Torturing people isn’t as fun as it sounds.
Oops, she chose the wrong regret.
The dead dad ends up not having a heroic reaction to his impending death, but ends up still being a hero.
The actual ending
As the film speeds towards it’s conclusion, all the fantasies seem to be intermingling and closely related to each other.
Patrick’s soldier father is actually trying to rescue hostages that end up being JD and Brax.
After Gwen realizes the implications of her fantasy and demands that she get to relive out her actual regret. She tries to save her upstairs neighbor who was killed by a fire started in her kitchen.
It turns out that almost all of the Fantasy Island guests had some relation to the tragedy. JD and Brax were the fire victim’s room mates. Patrick was a cop on the scene that was too cowardly to go in and attempt to save anyone. Melanie was supposed to go on a date that night with the guy that got killed.
The big reveal of the movie is that all the guests are actually living out Melanie’s fantasy of getting revenge for he boyfriends murder.
There are actually a lot of twists and fakeouts in the last 10 minutes before it gets to that final reveal.
In the end, good conquers evil, and Jimmy O. Yang gets to be Tattoo forever.
Final Recommendation
This is not a great movie, but there really isn’t much wrong with it either. It would make a good date movie. High schoolers that aren’t super jaded about horror movies will likely really enjoy it as well.
Gretel & Hansel 2020 Movie Review
Feb 12, 2020
(Hansel and Gretel Movie)
We saw Gretel & Hansel in theaters and I was pleasantly surprised with something that might not be the most groundbreaking film we’ve ever watched, but it succeeds admirably at breathing new life into this classic Grimm fairy tale.
@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Gretel & Hansel Trailer
https://youtu.be/QZblQLhKcZQ
Gretel & Hansel Synopsis
Gretel & Hansel is a reimagining and retelling of; you guessed it, Hansel and Gretel – the classic tale that warns kids not to take candy from strangers. Well, the kids are back and they have a sweet tooth.
This story retains all the crucial elements of the story. There are two kids (Sophia Lillis from ITas Gretel and Samuel Leakey as Hansel) who are unceremoniously kicked out of their house in the times of yore by their mother who can’t afford to feed them.
They kick around the woods for a while, starving and scared, jostled by a world that is cruel and spooky before stumbling upon a house out in the woods.
This house is owned by Barbara Crampton’s final form, Holda the witch (Alice Krige). The witch lures the kids in with delectable food, but she seems, kind of evil.
Well, she is evil.
Gretel & Hansel Review
To me, it is surprising that Gretel and Hansel got as wide a release as it did because it has “current indy horror movie” written all over it. Also January, February, and March of 2020 is about as chalk full of horror as any year that I can recall.
Gretel and Hansel takes a slightly different approach to the classic and makes it a coming of age story for our female protagonist.
This movie drips with aesthetic and I swear to God the witches’ house is made by the same architect as the house from Ex Machina. Very sparse, norse sensibilities are present in the scenes, which, if you are a fan of our show, you know we love the Scandinavians and their sensibilities.
The brooding, doom-laden feel of this movie is a great way to take something as classic as Hansel and Gretel and make me care. Every corner of this film is foreboding and off-feeling.
The lighting is so dark that it reminded me of the Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincolnflick from 2012. Lots of candles used for lighting made me feel like I was right there with the kids in this strange and terrifying house.
I love the acting and the style that Gretel & Hansel goes with and the atmosphere is dead-on.
My only problem with this movie is that it droops throughout. As far as slow-burns go, this is as slow as they come, and while it works to an extent, I wish they would have stopped chewing the fat and cut some of the more indulgent walks in the woods and dream sequences in favor of keeping my attention.
At 87 minutes, it’s a pretty short movie, but I feel it could have easily been 70 minutes, and it would have felt very appropriate.
Score
7/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand Spoilers
Backstory on the witch
The movie starts describing the origin of the witch. There is a gifted child, and an illness befalls her. The father of the child is told to be brave against the darkness and takes the girl to be healed. The child is gifted with something called “second sight”. She is healed, but the gift of healing comes with an unseen curse.
This little girl, the witch, is evil. She kills her dad and others in the village before she is taken out into the woods and banished.
Here we are given the tagline of the movie, “Beware gifts because those that offer them might mess you up hardcore.”
The World is a Cruel, Scary Place
The kid’s mom is not a nice lady. Actually, she is legit nuts. She aggressively pushes her kids out of the house and into a world that wants nothing more than to gobble them up.
There are close calls, zombies, and a bunch of menacing figures in the background who are swallowed up by the thick, milky mist.The atmosphere is bleak and terrifying, and it works really well.
The Witches House and Possible Anti-Semitism
Eventually, the kids stumble across the witch’s house, and just like everything else in this movie, it’s dripping with aesthetic.
The door of the house is made up of a Star of David pattern, which really flipped a switch in my brain. An evil person who steals and eats children has the Star of David patterned across her door?
hmmm
The house is sparse and dark, lit only by candles – it’s also hard to tell exactly how large it is. In the secret room that is hidden below the house, there is also a candelabra or bastardized Menorah that makes an appearance.
This feels noteworthy to me because I know that the Brothers Grimm who wrote Hansel and Gretel had some very anti-semitic fairy tales, like The Jew Among The Thorns.
How is Gretel & Hansel Different than Hansel and Gretel?
Gretel & Hansel is a coming of age story for Gretel, instead of an outright warning against accepting gifts. The gift being given in this movie is the gift of womanhood or femininity.
Dirty finger witch
The witch is out to trap Gretel in her web of femininity by appealing to her with power and knowledge. She eats kids, not only to gain powers and stay super witchy but to build a tolerance to the thing that is a poison to her – children or motherhood.
She offers Gretel the knowledge and powers that she has but warns her that she too must eat her poison to gain resistance to her own poison. Gretel’s poison is the onus of taking care of her brother, so it’s time to eat Hansel.
The Ending
Gretel burns the witch and Hansel makes it out alive – SHOCKER.
Final Recommendations
If you enjoy foreboding, spooky aesthetics and great camera work this is a great choice. It’s an even better choice if you don’t mind a story that moves very slowly.
Color Out of Space Review & Tara Westwood Interview
Feb 05, 2020
We have a packed episode this week. We review the surprisingly good Color Out Of Space, interview the lovely Tara Westwood from The Grudge (2020), and play a new game called “fNICt or fCAGEtion”. Hold on to your alpacas, and listen to the latest Horror Movie Talk!
@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
We went and saw a screening of Color Out of Space, and turns out the color out of space… was purple
Ya don’t say!
https://youtu.be/RfYAXMwCpk0
Color Out of Space Trailer
Color Out of Space Synopsis
Color Out of Space is a documentary of a normal Tuesday for Nicolas Cage. Sorry, that’s wrong, it’s actually based off of an H.P. Lovecraft short story of the same name. The film tells the story of the Gardner family living on a remote homestead inherited by the patriarch Nathan, played by the old god, Nicolas Cage. The rest of the Gardeners are the mother Theresa (Joely Richardson), daughter Lavinia (Madeleine Arthur), and two sons Benny (Brendan Meyer) and Jack (Julian Hilliard).
One night a meteor from SPACE came crashing down into their front yard, and infects the space time continuum with a color that has never been seen before, but is somehow nefarious.
Color Out Of Space Poster
Review of Color Out Of Space
You might be asking yourself… how do you film a story that revolves around the concept of a color that hasn’t been seen before? That’s a good question. I don’t have an answer, but I can tell you that Richard Stanley has somehow pulled it off.
This is probably one of the best depictions of cosmic horror that I have ever seen on film. Not that I have seen many, but this one is actually a really impressive adaptation of HP Lovecraft. It falls in that genre of “Weird Tale” that most recently represented in theaters by The Lighthouse.
There are direct quotations from the source material, and the tone is very Lovecraftian, save for two aspects.
It’s set in modern times
It’s not told via a third person recounting of a third person recounting of another third person account.
The parts that are very Lovecraftian are the madness, corruption, ineffective magical rituals, and the scientist that exists only to state that something is beyond science.
The corruption of the land and people happens very gradually, but builds up to a crescendo of sensory overload that is really impressive. It’s a very visually impressive movie and definitely one that you might want to go to high as balls.
We had the special honor of interviewing the lovely and talented Tara Westwood. Horror movie fans will know her from her most recent role in The Grudge which is still in theaters around the world, as well as some other horror movies you might have stumbled across on Amazon Prime such as Hell Girl or A Haunting at Silver Falls.
Follow Tara on Instagram, Twitter to stay apprised of her new projects.
Photo by Noel Sutherland and Makeup by Bobby Spielman. Photo by Noel Sutherland and Makeup by Bobby Spielman. Photo by Noel Sutherland and Makeup by Bobby Spielman. David’s dream scenario
fNICt or fCAGEtion
In our newest game, I read a series of Nic Cage “facts” to David, and he had to guess if they were fNICt (fact) or fCAGEtion (fiction). Here is the list of insane Nic Cage facts. See if you can spot the fake ones. Answer key to follow.
He was born Nicolas Coppola and he decided to change his last name after actors resented him because his uncle is the renowned director Francis Ford Coppola.
He chose “Cage,” as his last name because he was inspired by the African-American comic book superhero Luke Cage.
When he was four, he would have this recurring dream in which “I was on the toilet and this giant blonde genie woman in a gold bikini would reach into the bathroom window like King Kong and pluck me off of the toilet seat and laugh at me.”
He once had a pet octopus
He bought a stolen T-Rex Skull
He owns an egyptian mummy
He once slept in the ruins of Dracula’s Castle
In Birdy (1984), he played a ladies man who was severely wounded in Vietnam, and during production, he decided to get his teeth pulled so that he could “connect with some kind of physical pain.”
Jim Carrey offered him a role in Dumb and Dumber, but that he turned it down for a part as an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
He named one of his sons Kal-el, after Superman’s “Kryptonian name.
He named one of his daughter’s Zod, after Superman’s Kryptonian nemesis
He sometimes wears two pairs of sunglasses
His favorite sandwich is roast lamb on white bread with “a bit of mayonnaise and arugula,”
He got a “large” back tattoo of a lizard in a top hat and cane
During shooting Ghost Rider, on scenes where he transformed into Ghost Rider, he would act with a railroad spike up his rectum.
HE has already bought a nine foot tall stone pyramid to be buried in.
He refuses to eat any living thing that has sex in a way he doesn’t find attractive.
He has a penile bisection, a body modification procedure where the glans is split down the middle.
He had a stalker that was a mime that would pantomime a number of weird actions during the shooting of Raising Arizona
He bought the most haunted mansion in the world so he could write a horror novel.
Expand for answer key
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fCAGEtion
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fCAGEtion
fNICt
fNICt
fNICt
fCAGEtion
fNICt
fNICt
fCAGEtion
fNICt
fNICt
The Turning (2020) Review
Jan 29, 2020
We saw The Turning in theaters and it’s got a ton of jumpscares and some great acting, but it is hamstrung by a script that never had a clue where it was going despite having a very clear and high-quality roadmap of the story that it was based upon – The Turn of the Screw.
@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
The Turning Trailer
https://youtu.be/rl33gU2APIs
The Turning Synopsis
While I have never read the 1898 novella, The Turn of the Screw, by Henry James, I have a feeling that it would not lend itself to the silver screen without a fair amount of changes to the original story to make it more appealing for audiences today. After having read some briefs and synopses of the novella, this movie mimics it almost point for point.
We have a young teacher, Kate (Mackenzie Davis), who is hired on a palatial estate to teach and govern a young child, Flora (Brooklynn Prince). There is one other inhabitant on the grounds, Mrs. Grose, who is the cook and maid.
After a short time, Flora’s teenage brother, Miles (Finn Wolfhard) appears following being expelled from school. He is quickly set up to be the antagonist of the story, seemingly very crude, lude, and rapey.
The story of Kate then unravels itself in shockingly slow, slow motion that is fraught with the most exhausting bevy of jumpscares and twisty-turny bologna that I can recall.
The ghost of the previous teacher is hanging around, and the ghost of her killer, Miles friend, Quint, is too.
The Turning Review
I would be lying if I told you I understood what exactly there was to be scared of in this movie. I believe The Turn of the Screw was originally a very well written spooky ghost story. This movie is not adapted well to the big screen, probably because it didn’t expand much on the original novella.
The acting was actually pretty good, especially from both child actors, and the setting was pretty effective as well. The script was the real issue here, as there is just nothing around for it to hang its hat on and make it memorable or interesting.
A better version of roughly this same story, is found in 2018’s The Little Stranger. The Little Stranger understood ambiguity and how to use it. Is the main character losing his mind or is this place haunted? I think ambiguity is what the source material is about, and it’s replaced in The Turning by confusion.
Score
4/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand for Spoilers
Kate is called to act as the new governess for the children, who are recently orphaned. More to the point, she is supposed to watch Flora and later Miles shows up because it is revealed that he is expelled from his school for shocking violence.
Wait… You know it might just be easier if you read the actual plot of The Turn of the Screw novella from this Wikipedia article. Yes, this movie occurs in almost exactly the same timeline as that section of the wiki. Seem uninspired? Yeah, it kind of is.
Kate and Mrs. Grose share a sweet embrace
The Jumpscares
There are lots of jumpscares in this movie, some good, some not so good. But there are tons! There are so many jumpscares that I started to become shellshocked, or at least exhausted by them.
Every day in the story contains light frivolity and a pang of weirdness, and every night contains a healthy dose of jumpscares and dark hallways.
The House
This house is seriously huge and suffers from a major case of spooky house syndrome (SHS). It’s got lights that turn on and off for no reason, sewing machines the pop to life, and dozens of mannequins ready to terrify as Kate backs into them, one after another.
While the house is plenty spooky, it’s not utilized in the way that it could have been. There is an eerie line delivered at the start of the movie by one of the children about the East wing. “We don’t go there.” The ‘why’ to that could have been explored and expanded upon to such a degree that the movie would be substantive.
The Lack of Ambiguity
The thing that made the original story work, from what I have read, is ambiguity. There is supposed to be a question of whether or not this house is haunted or whether Kate is losing her mind. Is young Miles actually a terror who wants to have sex with his governess or is he being controlled by the spirit of Quint?
None of this ambiguity makes it to the audience in The Turning. Instead, it’s a mishmash of confusing maybe-it-happened maybe-it-didn’t dream sequences and nightmares.
The End
Holy hell. First, we get a false ending. Kate drives the kids off of the property under extreme duress and escapes. But then she wakes up and is scolded for being crazy by the children and the maid.
Don’t ever talk to me or my daughter again!
There is a half-baked attempt to suggest that Kate is exactly as her mother is – totally insane, then the movie ends.
There is no follow-through, no explanation – it just ends.
Final Recommendations
Kids and teens might be in over their heads in terms of scares with The Turning, but I think the PG-13 rating makes it for them more than anyone else. If you have a well-refined bullshit-o-meter, stay away.
Horror Movie News
The Onania Club trailer from writer, director Tom Six gives a glimpse into one of the most fucked up ideas I can imagine.
https://youtu.be/IhuZnGPUkoQ
Crawl Review
Jan 22, 2020
Our patrons voted for this week’s movie review, and they selected Crawl. This was a movie we let slip by us when it was in theaters. However, now we know, you don’t just slip by gators, they will look for you, they will find you, and they will kill you.
@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Crawl Trailer
https://youtu.be/H6MLJG0RdDE
Crawl can is available for rent or purchase on your favorite video platform.
Synopsis
The movie follows Floridian Haley (Kaya Scodelario), a competitive swimmer that goes to check on her father before a category 5 hurricane hits. She discovers that her father Dave (Barry Pepper) is in the CRAWL space below his house with a broken leg from an alligator attack. She finds out quickly that there are not one, but two hyper-aggressive gators that will stop at nothing to kill them both. What proceeds is a game of gator and mouse where they try to escape the gators in a labyrinthian and increasingly flooded crawlspace.
Crawl Poster
My Review
This movie has a simple set up and delivers exactly what you would want out of it: ridiculous gator action.
Before coming to Dave’s crawlspace, these gators must have stopped by Tony Montana’s and consumed the mountain of coke on his desk. These gators are ridiculously aggressive.
The two main characters are constantly in danger, but are protected by the most powerful substance known to man… plot armor. So for an hour and a half, as we watch them try to outsmart the gators to accomplish the impossible task of… you know crawl a couple feet to the stairs, we are introduced to a steady stream of possible saviors who are immediately attacked and torn apart by ravenous gators.
Oil me up daddy, it’s dinner time, and I’m a little soup-boy. Chompa. Chompa.
I’ve said it before. I’m not a huge fan of monster movies. But I can appreciate the ones that are done well. This is one of those.
The situation is creative, the pacing of the plot is great. Even the tension is high throughout the movie because of the rising water. It really is a great device to move the plot forward. There is also a decent amount of character development between Haley and her father.
If all that bores you and you are only coming for alligator attacks, you will not be disappointed. Everything from just plain gator bites to being completely drawn and quartered by a congregation of gators is covered.
Getting Drawn and Quartered by Gators
Overall it’s a really well written and executed creature feature that maintains tension, has the proper amount of ridiculous action, and doesn’t overstay its welcome.
The CGI is really good in this movie. The alligators looked very real. The only thing that would tip you off that they are CGI alligators is that there are certain lunges and movements that a real gator couldn’t pull off in real life. However, these moments are used to great effect, since there is a shocking and creepy factor that comes with them.
Water Induced Tension
The water rising as a tension building device is fantastic. It almost acts as a meter for their peril. As the movie goes on, the rate of the water rising increases. By the half point of the film, the crawlspace is about halfway filled with water. As the film speeds towards it’s conclusion, the levee breaks, and all of a sudden, the water reaches the second floor in minutes.
https://youtu.be/uwiTs60VoTM
Character Development
I don’t expect much from Character development, but this movie checks enough boxes for me to say that it has a decent amount. The relationships within the film feel real, and the audience is allowed to establish empathy with the characters. Which, in turn, gets the audience to actually care whether or not they get eaten. Last weeks film, Underwater, failed in this regard.
Gator Action
Alligators bite people. What more do you want?
The Bad
There isn’t a lot to complain about with this film. The only minor complaint is that it suffers from the “bitch-get-out-tha-house” syndrome. This is where the protagonists fail to make very simple and obvious decisions that will get them to safety. This is a common trope in horror movies, and is really a foundational element in a lot of ways. So overall, there isn’t much to dislike about Crawl.
Underwater is in theaters right now and I did not expect much, which left me pleasantly surprised when I didn’t have a bad time. As far as underwater spooks and adventure go, Underwater is unique enough to hold my attention, but it doesn’t pull off anything amazing.
Dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing pic. Follow him for more great horror art. Also, check out his website.
This is an incredibly simple story that starts with Kristen Stewart describing life – underwater – in this massive – underwater – facility that is made to support a drilling operation at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, which of course, is – underwater.
After a few minutes the facility begins to implode, and our leading lady is forced to begin her – underwater – quest to escape.
Along the way she runs into a few friends who have miraculously survived the facility being torn to shred at this crushing depth. Once she meets up with the captain, they hatch a plan to escape but soon find themselves in over their heads!
Feel the intense teeth-brushing action!
Underwater Review
Underwater is a by-the-books movie that reminded me of Sphere (1998) mixed with Aliens and The Abyss.
T.J Miller does exactly what you think he is going to do, and so does Kristen Stewart. In fact, all of the characters do the things you think they are going to do. Does that make it bad? No, just predictable.
Pretty cool poster, if I do say so.
I liked the monster design in this, which is saying something because I rarely enjoy monster design.
Score for Underwater
6/10
Spoilers for Underwater
Expand for Spoilers
There isn’t a whole lot to spoil in this movie. If you read my synopsis, you kind of get it. The monster(s) are really the x-factor and the interesting part of this movie, along with the journey to the bottom of the sea.
Kids Piloting Multi-Trillion Dollar Drilling Rigs
Ok, this is going to make me sound like a wet, old fart, but goddamnit I’m going to say it anyway. Twenty somethings are not who I would expect to be the focus of this movie. There’s a freaking intern for Christ-sake!
For another totally implausible underwater scenario, check out our review of The Meg
Haggard men in their thirties and forties are the key demo here, both in real life and in movies of old based on similar situations. Call me sexist, but it’s true!
Here is a list of movies that show remote places and bad situations for what they are – stinky and men-ridden:
“But David, three of those movies have a female lead!” That’s the exception that proves the rule. Apart from Aliens, Sigourney Weaver is almost the only female in the whole damn movie, and she looks as stinky and gross as the men she hangs with.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this because to be honest, Underwater wouldn’t be nearly as attractive without Stewart at the helm. So maybe I’ll just swallow my vaguely sexist criticism and enjoy the kids piloting the world’s most expensive/dangerous drilling project.
The Monster(s)
We are introduced to the monsters early and often, but rarely do we get a solid look at them until the very end, which I appreciate.
We get to see fleeting quick glimpses of strange blurry hands and octo-faces darting around. Mostly we get to see the remains of others that the monsters leave behind.
Eventually, at the crescendo, we see a bevvy of the monsters hanging from – you guessed it – the bottom of the Roebuck drilling station that our surviving crew needs to enter. As the crew make their way through the forest of limp floating arms of the creatures, the awake.
My friend Brenners, AKA the captain from Underwater
They are hideous and effective, but obviously small compared to something else that we hear throughout the movie – the leviathan!
The leviathan is a truly massive monster, larger than most Kaiju I’ve seen. probably on par with Cthullu. The most interesting part about the leviathan is that the smaller humanoid creatures seem to live on it, and do it’s bidding.
I liked the monster(s), which is rare for me.
Final Recommendations
If you like monster movies, godzilla/kaiju, or Cthullu then Underwater is for you. It’s a action oriented monster movie that has a quippy T.J. Miller and a sexy Kristen Stewart – standard stuff.
It’s not great but I thoroughly expected to hate it and I didn’t. I would watch this again while drunk or high.
The Grudge (2020) Review
Jan 08, 2020
We went and saw The Grudge, and I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, because I liked it. That’s because it’s a dark and moody sequel/reboot of The Grudge.
Nicolas Pesce wrote and directed the film, and brings a more serious and weighty tone to the proceedings.
This is the first Grudge film to earn an R-rating, and it is warranted not only for the violence, but also for the mature subject matter.
@Dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing image. Follow him for more greatness.
https://youtu.be/O2NKzO-fxwQ
See The Grudge can in theaters now
The Grudge 2020 Synopsis
This film is a soft reboot sequel of the American Grudge from 2004. It tells the story of a single mother Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough) as she moves to a new police force and discovers a dead body in the woods.
Muldoon’s partner Detective Goodman (Demián Bichir) is disturbed when the body is connected with previous murder cases he investigated. As established in the previous Grudges and the opening credits, when someone is killed in a violent rage, a curse is formed around the place of death. Goodman mysteriously tries to dissuade Muldoon from investigating too deeply, and DEFINITELY NOT GO IN THE HOUSE. As you can guess, she goes in the house.
As Detective Muldoon investigates the current and previous murders, the film flashes back to tell the story of three families in different stages of life all being haunted, and hunted by the same curse.
Review of The Grudge (2020)
I haven’t seen any of the previous Grudge’s or the original Ju-On, so I was going in blind. However, the information I needed was provided in the opening credits:
Murder bad.
Make curse.
Curse Bad.
This technique I actually liked, but I admit it does lessen the mystery a bit. But since this is a sequel, all that information has already been established.
Dark Tone
The director Nicolas Pesce sets a measured pace and a moody tone for this movie, which for me, helped to build up the dread. There isn’t much mystery, or any real surprises in terms of the plot, but it does still feel compelling because of the inevitability of what you know is going to happen. It’s like watching a slow-mo train wreck.
The first act takes it’s time to develop characters. Each family is introduced in turn with a unique situation that inspires empathy. Therefore it does feel like there are stakes. The most interesting of the bunch is probably the elderly Matheson family that is dealing with dementia and assisted suicide.
R-Rated Horror
This is definitely a one trick pony though. Along the lines of The Conjuring movies, it’s more of a vehicle for jump scares. Some of the scares are effective, but they are generally pretty sparse until the end. With the R-rating, it is able to delve into some more graphic violence. This is a pretty “light R” since there are only a few moments that earn the rating, but they are effective and pack a punch.
When we left the theater, both David and I thought it was a good movie. Despite it’s slow pace and general predictability, it’s a well crafted movie with a distinctive tone and gravitas. We covered Nicolas Pesce’s last movie, Piercing a while ago and I think he has an really interesting style.
Negative Reactions on Twitter
Upon checking twitter, we are in the minority on this movie. People and critics apparently HATE this movie. It has worse scores on Rotten Tomatoes than CATS, which is ridiculous to me. I felt like I saw a completely different movie. I don’t know what people were expecting from it, but apparently they were VERY disappointed with the film. Most of the criticisms about it are that it is “boring” or that it didn’t feature the original girl ghost “Kayako” as much as they wanted.
I stand by my original impressions upon leaving the theater. I think it’s worth a watch.
Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2019
Jan 01, 2020
2019 treated us very well in terms of how our podcast is doing and in terms of great horror movies. I would even go so far as to say we were spoiled by 2019. So let’s take a look at what we love and hated about the horror movies that we reviewed in 2019.
This was such a boring movie that I resent it for technically being decent enough to be called mediocre. This is a movie that holds the title of “mediocrity” high above it’s head and smiles.
From Miles, the boring antagonist child, to his boring parents that boring birthed him, this movie is one that I will not watch again.
While not committing any mortal sins, Greta manages to be more forgettable than The Prodigy. This PG-13 thriller has a great trailer that leads one to believe that things will get real crazy, real fast.
All that ends up happening is kidnapping and some Boo-box play. Yawn.
Looking back on this, we only gave it a 4/10 but this movie was (in my mind) a 2/10. The real curse was having to sit through an hour and a half long movie that could have been 22 minutes of witless bullshit.
This was a clear cash grab that the studio behind The Conjuring franchise, and hopefully not a sign of things to come.
To be honest with you, SStTitD was not that bad. It was really my fault for getting my hopes up about a movie that is nodding at my childhood nostalgia and winking.
This is a fine movie to introduce young teens to the genre, but if you are looking for interesting concepts or a fun time, look elsewhere.
The Dead Don’t Die is lowkey one of the best movies of the year in terms of entertainment value, star power, script, and acting. Taking a totally fucked-out premise like zombies and making it fun and funny again is always impressive.
Think cults are spooky? What about being drugged? Bright colors? Yea, this movie mashes up some of the most unused tropes and ideas into a terrifically horrific masterpiece.
https://youtu.be/1Vnghdsjmd0
As director Ari Aster’s second hit horror movie, this is a ride and a half for the viewer. The whole movie resembles a drug trip in a very innocuous way, and the end crescendos into one of the most upsetting things I witnessed all year.
I can’t believe how much I enjoyed this adventure horror movie! I thought for sure that any movie trying to follow The Shining would fail miserably. How wrong I was!
https://youtu.be/BOzFZxB-8cw
Everything about this movie enthralled me. The story was fun, the characters were believable.
The baddies in this movie were so bad, so evil, it made me want nothing more than to see them suffer!
Thank you for listening to the podcast and supporting the show! We couldn’t do it without you!
Rare Exports Review
Dec 25, 2019
We streamed Rare Exports, and much like Finland, it was cold and dark. This horror film has more to do with Lovecraft than a run-of-the-mill slasher or monster movie. There is a lot of dread and high-concept build up. While the ending might not be satisfying, it stands out as the most entertaining part of the movie, and is worth the wait.
@Dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing pic. Follow him for more great horror art.
Rare Exports can be found streaming free on Crackle, or on Amazon Prime or Hulu if you subscribe to either of those.
https://youtu.be/PwT3wtUCv9Y
Rare Exports Synopsis
Rare Exports tells that tried and true christmas yarn of a young boy discovering that Santa Claus is real. This heartwarming tale set in Finland follows Pietarri and his widowed father as they try to make ends meet in the frosty North. But tragedy strikes when the winter livestock tragically dies, it’s up to Pietarri to discover the magic of Santa and save Christmas.
Review of Rare Exports
This movie is a lot of fun in retrospect, but to be honest you really have to be in the mood for this type of film. Like most scandinavian films it is very dry and has a real particular type of slow drip black humor.
It has a very unique mix of lovecraftian horror and schlock that you really don’t see very often. Like most Lovecraftian stories, a lot of the exposition is third hand and can feel rather clinical. However, the ideas in this movie are genuinely fun if you can endure the desert-level dryness of the humor.
The film is played SO straight that it is easy to miss how crazy and fun the concepts are within it. Erin walked in on the ending scene and upon explaining the plot to her, I realized how fun the movie must sound.
It’s at the top of a lot of Christmas Horror Movie lists, but it’s not personally my favorite. That spot is still reserved for Silent Night, Deadly Night.
The film opens with the excavation of big hill. It feels straight out of Lovecraft, specifically At the Mountain of Madness. There are allusions to a discovery of ancient origins underneath a layer of insulation sawdust.
Pietari and Jusso watch the men excavating, later Pietari discovers a bunch of ancient legends of Santa Claus being an evil entity with horns that punished naughty children.
Mysterious footprints show up around Pietari’s house, and he assumes they are from Santa.
On the yearly hunt, it’s discovered that all of the reindeer have been slaughtered close to the mountain with the drilling. The men want compensation from the drilling company for their lost livelihood.
…Rudolph?
Pietari studies more about Santa legends and discovers ancient tales of Santa being captured in ice.
Wolf trap is tripped and an old bearded man is discovered. Pietarri’s father and his friends try to communicate with the man, but are unable. The old man seems to be drawn to Pietari. This convinces Pietari that the man is Santa.
The group decides to sell santa to the drilling company. When the American running the excavation arrives he informs them that it isn’t Santa, it’s one of his “helpers”. All of a sudden they are swarmed by hundreds of naked old men “helpers”.
When they escape to a hanger and discover that there is a giant block of ice with horns sticking out of it. All the towns heaters, hairdryers, and radiators are pointing at it. Also, all of the towns children are sacked up around the ice block.
Disney’s Santa On Ice
They use all the bagged children as bait for the helpers and blow up iceblock santa.
With all the excess helpers no longer under Santa’s spell, they spend the whole year training them to be mall santas and ship them out all over the world at a price.
Santa Training
Final Recommendations
Rare Exports is worth seeing. It is a high quality, quirky christmas horror movie that deserves acclaim. Keep in mind that it is more of a high concept horror than an actual slasher or monster movie.
Black Christmas (2019) Review
Dec 18, 2019
Bury Christmas everyone! ROFLOLOLOL!!!! No, but seriously folks, we like to joke… This week we review the new 2019 Model of Black Christmas. It’s a genuine attempt to reimagine Bob Clark’s 1974 classic through the lens of today’s modern woman. Listen to our full review on our latest episode or read the summary below. Also in this episode, we play Taglines and a new game called “Black Christmas or Black Christmas or Black Christmas”. Enjoy.
@Dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing pic. Follow him for more great horror art.
Synopsis of Black Christmas 2019
Sabina, Elena, and Jane are working for the mysterious Charles Townsend, whose security and investigative agency has expanded internationally. With the world’s smartest, bravest, and most highly trained women all over the globe, there are now teams of Angels guided by multiple Bosleys…
Oh wait that’s charlies angels
Black Christmas is the second in the increasingly loosely based remakes of Bob Clark’s 1974 Black Christmas. The story follows 4 close-knit Hawthorne College sorority sisters named Riley (Imogen Poots), Kris (Aleyse Shannon), Marty (Lily Donoghue), and Jesse (Brittany O’Grady) during the very beginning of winter break. While most of the campus is abandoned by students going home for the holidays, these bold gen-z women opt to stay on campus and party with the other christmas holiday “orphans”. Soon it is apparent that they are being stalked by a mysterious man or men who are attacking and killing sorority sisters one by one. As we follow Sophie and company, it is revealed that the stalker/stalkers are part of a larger more nefarious conspiracy: THE PATRIARCHY.
Black Christmas (1974)
Add the BLuray to your collection or stream it now.
Written, directed, and led by young women, this film’s diva cup runneth over with female empowerment. It is so loosely based on the original that it barely maintains the scaffolding of women at college being stalked by a killer. What it does bring to the party is straight ahead, unsubtle social commentary for today’s generation of women.
Quick Review of Black Christmas 2019
I imagine that this film is going to get a lot of hate, and there are a lot of creative and studio decisions that hinder its success, but I must say that I admire the creative vision of this movie. This film seems like a genuine attempt to reimagine Black Christmas through the lens of today’s generation, with today’s technology. Supplanting the themes of abortion rights and women’s lib, are the modern themes of rape culture and well, still women’s lib… I guess we’re still working on that.
Like I said before, it is not subtle in its message of social commentary, but in this case, I prefer the straight ahead messaging vs lame tacked-on virtue of other “woke” horror films. In terms of plot, this film goes charging off the rails in the third act. The end is truly ridiculous, but it is good campy fun.
The biggest hindrance and distraction of the film was its pg-13 rating. It’s so distracting and jarring at some points that it resembles a television edit from the late 80’s. But since they wanted to market the film to the younger generation of women movie goers, they had to say “yippee ki yay, mr. falcon” to their R-rating.
https://youtu.be/DuQP4d_r_Gs?t=233
Score for Black Christmas (2019)
6/10
Spoilers for Black Christmas
Expand for spoilers
The film doesn’t go to great lengths to create a mystery over who the killer is. It is shown early on that the killer is obviously from the same fraternity that Riley’s rapist is from.
Riley stumbles into a secret ritual involving an old bust that is weeping black goo.
I cry because of my dying privilege
If you’re wondering if they ever explain what the black goo is. Don’t hold your breath. It’s bad, and it makes men bad. That’s pretty much the extent of it.
The bust is of the founder of the frat, and apparently he dabbled a bit in black magic and left instructions on how to use said magic (and goo?) to put women back in their place.
It is eventually revealed that the killer is actually killers. The whole frat is out to kill or force into servitude all the women on campus. It’s pretty crazy.
In the end, the women come off victorious.
Final Recommendations
With the holiday season and Star Wars coming out, it’s slim pickings for horror movies in the theater. This was a fun movie that genuinely tried to be some thing new. It’s not terrible, and is a little bit better than average. At the very least it will spark conversation. I’d recommend you see it. Star Wars will still be there in a week.
Backcountry (Movie) Review
Dec 11, 2019
We saw Backcountry on Netflix, and it is an effective enough one-trick pony. Unlike The Ruins movie we reviewed earlier, there are no super-natural elements, the threat is just a plain ol’ bear. I laughed and cried, and sometimes it wasn’t ironic!
Oh my God, @Dgoebel00 on INSTA provided this amazing pic. Check him out on his site as well.
https://youtu.be/46uwmzTf5nA
Backcountry Synopsis
Backcountry is the 2014 story of a woodsy kind of guy named Alex (Jeff Roop) and his urban girlfriend, Jenn (Missy Peregrym), who are heading into the woods for a late-season camping trip. It’s directed and written by Adam MacDonald.
Early in the movie, we meet a Park Ranger (Nicholas Campbell) who warns the couple that they should probably bring a map and look out for inclement weather, but Alex don’t need none of that shit! He’s a man’s man who knows these woods like the back of his country, and he don’t need no stinking map.
As the couple heads into the woods they quickly end up with more camping trip than they bargained for.
Backcountry Review
Backcountry is a one-trick pony that relies on a surprisingly well-grounded theme – The woods are scary, and so are wild animals.
Most of the movie left me scratching my head and rewinding to try to make sense of dialog or acting that didn’t seem to fit the situation. Why are they worried about a single snapped tree? Why didn’t the movie make a point of that tree before it was snapped to show the audience that this is certainly out of place?
Lots of little details like this made the movie a little frustrating for me.
Overall, I do appreciate the simplicity of this movie and its premise and the stakes. It was fun to watch with a friend and plays on a very reliable fear, being alone in the woods at night.
Score for Backcountry
6/10
Spoilers for Backcountry
Backcountry is a barebones kind of movie. Lots of it is composed of vaguely wandering through the woods, with little to no dialog. There are only four characters in the movie, our two protagonists, the park ranger at the beginning, and Brad in the first third of the movie. Unless you count the bear, I mean.
So beware, those are the stakes.
Check Out The Big Knife on Brad!
After they canoe across the lake and set up camp initially, we meet Brad, a dreamy outdoorsman who starts to chat up Jenn while Alex is off gathering wood. Alex is cagey upon meeting Brad, and this causes a rift in the new relationship.
Stupid sexy Brad!
Brad shares his fish with the two before doling out his machismo upon Alex. Brad reveals that he is an outdoor guide who is well-versed in the area. He also reveals a huge skinning knife and his disdain for the snap judgment that Alex made on him and his kindness.
Brad leaves our couple after dinner, a wink, and a slug of whiskey, which left me extremely uneasy. Humans in the woods are, by far, the scariest thing to me. People represent a very creepy and unreliable X-factor, in a place that’s far away from law and order.
Brad is a great addition to the story because he sets up the stakes, which feel alarmingly high for a hike in the woods.
The Path Less Traveled
As our couple gets on their way, there is a point where Alex chooses the path less traveled. He seems sure of himself, so Jenn follows, and they eventually set up camp. Every night we get to see them sleeping and hear the creepy sounds of the woods. This is effective in all the right ways. Who knows what’s out there?
The couple wakes up each day to a campsite that is a little different than they left it.
As Alex recognizes the signs that they are almost to the waterfall they set out to see, he quickens his pace. When they walk out into the open, they both realize that they are not in the right place at all – they are totally lost.
Until this point in the movie there has been a lot of filler of the couple just walking through the woods, almost like a montage set to bird and woods sounds. It is at this point where the action begins, and thank God. I couldn’t take five more minutes of boring plodding.
Panic Sets In
Jenn is confused and scared, and rightfully so. She throws a series of questions at Alex:
Where are we? I don’t know. How did we get here? I guess I don’t remember the area as I did in High School. Are you stupid? Yes.
Concern grips the actors.
The couple has a big argument, and it is revealed that Alex was going to propose to Jenn once they got to the waterfall.
The fight feels like it erupts out of the blue, which it does. It was decently setup with the campfire banter throughout the movie thus far. It’s just a bit comical how it plays out with high school relationship levels of volatility.
Backcountry Bear Attack
One morning they wake up, and their food is gone, they frame a raccoon, but we all know who the culprit really is. They are panicked, foodless, and one toke over the line, trying to make sense of where they are. They go to bed and wake up looking at a big black bear outside the tent.
Don’t be fooled, that cute bear would step over his own mother to eat you!
That bear attacks them, and I do mean it attacks the shit out of them. If I had to draw a picture with words – imagine a bear with speed lines and ultra-roaring powers. Wiggle-cam is in full effect during the attack. Jenn has a can of bear mace in-hand throughout the whole attack, and she gives it a shot once, but mostly she just watches Alex get eaten alive.
https://youtu.be/X0AHvPpGrDU
Compare this bear attack against The Revenant bear attack below
https://youtu.be/GOlVRHsVzE4
No contest, but this is a blockbuster, so not a fair comparison
I enjoy how true to life this attack is. The bear is just a bear, not some super-bear with a laser attached to its butt. It’s just a bear that does what you might expect a late-season bear to do – eat what it finds. Jenn’s actions, while super annoying, are pretty realistic too. Failing to use the bear spray in her hands is what I might expect from my wife in such a situation.
Run, Jenny, Run
At this point Jenn is running from the bear. I did mention this was a one-trick-pony, right?
At some point she finds the waterfall, climbs down it, suffers a crunchy fall that surely breaks some bones. She finds the canoe, crosses the lake and finds the search party is set to come look for her being headed by – you guessed it, Brad.
She’s definitely going to marry Brad.
Plenty of parts in the chase made me squeamish because of how real and plausible they seemed. It was a pretty obvious ending, but hey, it’s pretty real too.
Final Recommendations
This is an easy choice for a Friday night movie at home, snuggled up on the couch, poking your friend at every twig snap. Nothing showy or hard to get into, and it really does tap into a primal fear that is magnified artificially by our distance from nature now. Backcountry is fun and ironically funny, and mostly coherent.
If you want a similar but better movie, check out The Ritual, which centers on a group of friends who have to deal with something more sinister in the woods.
American Psycho Review
Dec 04, 2019
American Psycho is, without a doubt, one of my favorite movies of all time. This thriller is one of the most hilarious and disturbing tongue-in-cheek movies ever made.
Oh my God, @Dgoebel00 on INSTA provided this amazing pic. Check him out on his site as well.
American Psycho can be found on Netflix right now for free, and just about everywhere else for a nominal rental fee.
American Psycho Synopsis
This is the story of Patrick Bateman, a Wall Street investment banker who is wealthy, materialistic, and totally insane. As you get to know Bateman, you will realize that you are witnessing an interesting turning point in his life. The emptiness that he feels inside is forcing his addictive habits further into the open than is wise.
By day he frets about having the perfect business card, or the best suit, or reservations at the most trendy restaurant. By night he is a psychopathic serial killer.
But how much of this lunacy is real? With Patrick as our unreliable narrator, we get a behind the scenes look at the mind of a real nutjob – a true “happy camper”.
American Psycho Review
American Psycho is, in my opinion, a masterpiece that looks directly at the human condition as it is today. This movie is based on the 1991 Bret Easton Ellis novel by the same name and is set in the late ’80s, amid the extreme excess and consumerism that marked the time. And it holds to this day.
The restraint shown in this movie is perhaps the most impressive part of an already very impressive movie. The acting is perfect. To my mind, this is the movie that put Christian Bale on the map as one of the best actors we have ever seen, and definitely my favorite method actor.
https://youtu.be/RjKNbfA64EE
What to do if your face is a little puffy
Mary Harron, the director of the film, describes it as “feminist,” which may not be as accurate as saying it relishes all of the most despicable masculine traits. It’s an exercise in rage, lust, vanity, and boredom.
I love the message, I love the presentation, and I love the story. The character of Patrick Bateman is as strangely relatable as he is totally alien.
Score for American Psycho
10/10
Spoilers for American Psycho
Before spoilers, do consider listening to the podcast instead of reading my review. We go very deep into this movie, and it would be a shame for you not to listen to our analysis of it, at least, that’s my opinion.
Bateman is an Utterly Insane Narrator
Patrick is lots of things, and top of that heap is nuts. He is also our narrator. This is important because the whole way through the movie, we get to see him doing and saying things that are absolutely horrific, and no one seems to bat an eye. Is it because they didn’t hear him, don’t care, or did he actually do that? I think the more important point that this movie makes is, it doesn’t really matter.
GOTDAM! Lethal!
So much of what we do and say and excuse is completely unacceptable, yet totally accepted in today’s culture. We all have a little Bateman in us.
His morning routine is where we start, and boy is it a doozy. He is extremely superficial, vain, and egotistical, and it’s all apparent from the opening scene.
Did You know Joker is basically American Psycho?
It’s true, While American Psycho maybe one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, Joker is essentially the same movie with an antihero who starts from the bottom instead of the top.
Bateman is the Boss
He tells his receptionist, Jean (Chloe Sevigny), what she should wear. He refuses to marry his fiancé, Evelyn (Reese Witherspoon), because he doesn’t want to take time off work. He threatens to kill his dry cleaner because she speaks a different language and can’t get some … stains … out of his bedsheets. It’s clear that Patrick is the boss of his world, and he doesn’t care who gets hurt because of it.
https://youtu.be/TerDDWpE-iE
Are you trying to say “Bleaching?”
People Don’t Matter To Bateman
I say that people don’t matter to Bateman, but people don’t even really matter to each other in American Psycho. Every character is having an affair with every other character, and no one seems to mind. All anyone wants is, “…to fit in.” As long as everyone gets what they want or who they want, they are happy.
He’s Just a-rockin’ and a-rollin’!
As I write this out I am beginning to wonder why I revel so in the abominable messages and themes of American Psycho. It’s damn depressing that this is somewhat true of American culture today and for the past several decades. It’s also a breath of fresh air. It’s nice not to be lied to. It’s fun to see something and call it what it is – sickening!
Business Cards DO Matter To Bateman
People may not matter to Patrick, but things certainly do! The business card scene where Patrick almost has an aneurysm over his peer’s cards is perhaps one of the most iconic scenes in all of movie history. The whole movie is one big commercial for the best suit, real estate, haircut, music, and restaurant.
Ironically, Bateman’s tastes are so mainstream and safe that none of them amount to a hill of beans. Every business card that he fawns over is the same as the others; every song he enjoys is vapid and painfully pop. It’s all just consuming to consume.
Bateman Isn’t Really Bateman
Patrick is only himself for about half of the movie. The rest of the time, he charades around as Paul Allen (while banging and killing prostitutes) or Marcus Halberstram. In-fact his own lawyer mistakes him for someone called Davis at the end of the movie, suggesting that no one even knows who anyone is. At least, the idea of Bateman, as he says, isn’t real. It’s just an idea, an inkling of the murderous, disgusting, letch that haunts us all. Who is Patrick? Does it really matter?
https://youtu.be/Ruw9fsh3PNY
When you want to be someone else, you just kill them and pretend to be them – right?
American Psycho Ending Explained
There is lots of speculation to this day about what exactly happens at the end of American Psycho. It’s confusing! He has spent so much time lying to the audience, having delusions, maybe killing people, acting as others, it’s hard to know. Many people suppose that he did all of the murders that everything is the truth.
https://youtu.be/gE6AVp-2Jic
Good joke! Saying you killed all those people!
Others say that none of it happened, that we are witnessing the mind of a sick man, a psycho. Some say that it’s some amalgamation of the two.
I would pose that the point of the American Psycho ending is to say that it doesn’t matter at all. Whether it was a total farce or completely real, it’s real enough in our society. It’s a thought experiment meant to make you ask what part you play in this fucked up world. How much of Bateman lives inside you?
Final Recommendations
This is a fabulous film. Although it will leave the faint of heart and empathetic queasy, it’s still worth the watch. I whole-heartedly recommend this film to everyone who is interested in having a little peak at insanity.
Patreon Sneak Peak: American Pyscho Afterpod
Dec 01, 2019
We decided it would be a good idea for all you regular listeners to get a taste of the exclusive Patreon content, and let you know that there is a whole lot more where that came from!
This Afterpod was recorded with our guest who we had on for the American Psycho review that will be released later this week – my buddy Marc!
Every post needs a picture but we don’t prepare very well.
Listen to us wax about what makes a horror movie a horror movie, what “feminist movies” do wrong, and what we did for Thanksgiving.
As always, click the green Patreon button at the top of the page to become a Patreon member for more exclusive content!
ThanksKilling Review
Nov 27, 2019
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Since it’s so close to the holiday, we decided to review ThanksKilling this week. It’s dumb and bad, but in the best way. In this episode, we give out review, play a round of Taglines, and share what Horror Movie Talk is thankful for.
@Dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing pic. Follow him for more great horror art.
Thankskilling is about a group of “teens” that are terrorized by an ancient killer turkey. The turkey, named Turkie was summoned after the very first Thanksgiving by a disgruntled Native American. Turkie has laid dormant for over 500 years until he is awakened when a dog pees on his grave. A group of friends on their way home for Thanksgiving are then terrorized by the fowl fowl. They then band together and work to destroy the homicidal turkey.
This movie is not a great movie. It’s actually pretty terrible. But it does hit the sweet spot of being bad enough to enjoy, which is exactly what they were going for. The acting is bad, and the writing is awful, but there are some shining moments. Any scene that features the killer turkey is very entertaining, mostly because it’s so cheap and stupid. But, I’m a sucker for cheap and stupid, so the steady drip of Turkie moments kept the viewing experience from being completely miserable. It’s only 66 minutes long, but you will definitely feel every second of that 66 minutes. Considering this movie was filmed on a budget of $3500, it is actually a rousing success.
Score for ThanksKilling
3/10
Spoilers for ThanksKilling
Click to see spoilers
The Opening
This movie has what I call a strong opening. The very first image, even before the soundtrack plays is a big ‘ol boob. Just one. Taking up the whole frame.
Then it pans back to a frightened Pilgrim woman with chest exposed running away from an unseen terror. When she trips, the villain is revealed.
A demonic turkey utters the first line of the movie:
Nice Tits Bitch!
-Turkie
And then a feathered hand raises holding a bloody axe and comes down killing the chesty milkmaid.
Cultural Appropriation
The legend of Turkie is that he was summoned by a disgruntled Native American to murder the pilgrims. He is essentially eternal, but only kills every 505 years.
In the current generation, Turkie is summoned by his grave being peed on by a dog. Please note that Turkie’s grave marker is a tiny totem pole. This is, I assume, because it is a close approximation of a cross?
The Crew
You can’t get more generic than the horror archetypes in this movie:
Johnny Football – Johhny
Nerd Guy – Darren
Hick – Billy
Slut – Ali
Not Slut – Kristen
I make fun, but it’s shocking how even terrible writing and filmmaking is improved with strong and even cliche character types. You may laugh at how dumb the characters are, but at least you know the characters.
Best Scenes
The best scenes are any that involve Turkie. However, the best of these are those with Turkie and Kristen’s father, and then the resulting disguised Turkie that wears the fathers face.
Give Daddy a kiss…
Final Recommendations
If you are looking for schlocky horror this Thanksgiving, look no further than ThanksKilling. It’s bad enough to be enjoyable, and short enough to not thoroughly overstay it’s welcome. Trust us, we’ve reviewed worse. Here’s to independent horror!
Dawn of the Dead (1978) Review
Nov 20, 2019
We saw Dawn of the Dead for free on Youtube because it’s available for free on youtube. This is a Patreon request, so if you want to have a say in what we review, join our Patreon and you will get to weigh in on what we review once a month. This movie is the classic sequel to Night of the Living Dead by George A. Romero that really upped the ante on the zombie concept, and shock factor of the time.
@Dgoebel00 on INSTA provided this amazing pic. Check him out on his site as well. One of our listeners called us “Moronic Man Children”, and they are depicted here as a zombie writing in their own blood…Don’t cross us!
https://youtu.be/FlQ_DgOPrBg
Dawn of the Dead Synopsis
Dawn of the Dead starts in an emergency broadcast television station with lots of disarray and confusion before it settles on some National Guard troops who have set upon some public housing with an outbreak of zombies.
Pretty soon the movie settles in on the lives of four individuals – two National Guard members (Peter played by Ken Foree and Roger played by Scott H. Reiniger), a traffic reporter (Stephen played by David Emge), and his TV Exec girlfriend (Francine played by Gaylen Ross). This group sets their sights on a Mall in the rust belt and try their best to fortify the mall. Eventually, things calm down, and life returns to ), pace before outside forces beyond their control throw everything into disarray.
One of the most iconic movie posters ever, Dawn of the Dead
Dawn of the Dead Review
The time has passed for Dawn of the Dead to be a shocking movie, while it was crucial to the horror genre in upping the stakes of gore and satire, it’s just not that impressive anymore. What Dawn is still good at is taking a hard look at the human condition and posing the question of what would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
There was a period where I watched every single zombie movie I could get my hands on with the intent of breaking down my own obsession with building a firm tactical plan for some such zombie occasion. Goofy? Yes, but man was it satisfying building “fool-proof” plans that my friends would tear apart with zombie-like fervor.
Dawn of the Dead is an important movie, and it’s has a historical place in the vaults of horror, but it’s slow for today, and it’s not that shocking when you compare it to any modern horror. Like I mentioned, it does do a great job of exploring the human condition and posing fun and interesting questions about all kinds of societal ailments.
For anyone who wants to check it out today who hasn’t seen it or hasn’t seen it for several decades, remember to parse it through the lense of “this came out in 1978”.
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2019/06/19/the-dead-dont-die-review/
Check out or review of this OTHER zombie movie!
Score for Dawn of the Dead
8/10
Spoilers for Dawn of the Dead
Click to Expand Spoilers
Dawn of the Dead is a pretty barebones movie and as such, there isn’t much to spoil. People living in zombie hellscape, find mall, settle down, are overrun by biker gang. “But David, there is so much more to this movie than just that story structure!” I agree! Most of what Dawn of the Dead brings to the table is conversation fodder and philosophical debates. So let’s take a look at some of the more interesting talking points that are found in Dawn.
We Are Already Zombies!
This is a theme that we are presented with a few times. Why are these zombies here at the mall? Why are they picking up items and using them in a vain attempt to act human? Because this is what they know, this is what is familiar to them. When you boil that down, what these zombies knew before death was just going to the mall and buying stuff, the real terror starts to set-in. We are just slaves to commercialism!
Our very purpose is to consume what is put in front of us until we die and have to eat brains! Ok, maybe not that brains part, but still.
What’s even scarier is that our four alive protagonists do the same damn thing! They play in the mall and have a great time until the novelty wears off, and they start to fall into the rut of mall life. And then the marauding biker gang came. C’est la vie.
The Death AlleGORY
Zombies take what scares us the most, and shoves it in our face in the form of an insatiable horde who wants us to join their ranks. They force us to look at our fear of social collapse and civil unrest.
Unruly mobs scare us. Social unrest scares us. Death scares us.
Zombies are the personification of all of these things. They force us to deal with these issues face to face.
The Death Reality
Dawn of the Dead forces us to deal with the real life issue of death as it enters our life. What do I mean by this, and how is it different than the death allegory? I mean the fact that at some point in every single zombie movie you are invested in the protagonists, and at least a few of them become zombies that the group has to “deal with”. The protagonists turn, against their will, into the antagonists.
And once you realize that, you place yourself in that position, often with a group of friends or family members and you ask yourself, “Could I do it? Could I put down my friend/lover/parent?”
Hard to think of hurting a loved one? Yep.
The Strategic Mind of Zombie Preppers
Look – if you haven’t found someone to talk about strategy and tactics for the eventual zombie apocalypse, just hit me up! This is one of the best parts of zombie movies, figuring out how you would handle yourself and your family in the event of an outbreak. I’ve reached such a fevered pitch in this arena that I am actually outfitting my truck to be able to double as a zombie bug-out vehicle (if you talk to my wife, it’s a family camper) for just such an occasion.
Dawn of the Dead does a great job of taking the “what would you do” portion of the zombie problem and taking it to the extreme right away. Well, first off, you have to think about your party. You need good cohesion and morale, and it helps to have some people who know their way around firearms.
Next, you need a diverse array of skills. We are talking about people who can pilot a helicopter, who maybe have a CDL for handling those big semis with double clutches and people who know their way around communications equipment. Dawn of the Dead gives us all of that.
Finally, we need someone who understands how to fortify a structure or location for optimal living in a zombie-infested world.
Dawn has all of the above in spades.
Seriously, if you want to talk about zombie tactics, please reach out to me on this site or any of our social media.
Final Recommendations
If you are a fan of classic horror movies or zombie films, this is not only good; it’s still the standard today. Dawn of the Dead and it’s predecessor, Night of the Living Dead basically define zombie movies, check them out. Also Check out the 2004 remake of Dawn, which was written by Romero and James Gunn, and was the first feature length movie directed by Zack Snyder. All of them are iconic and interesting and really make you question what it is to be human.
Horror Movie News
If you listen to our podcast (find the player at the top of this post), you will hear some horror movie news at the end of the show. Here are the links to those stories:
This week, we are reviewing the prequel to Doctor Sleep, Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece, and Stephen King’s least favorite adaptation of his work: The Shining. Plue we have a big announcement in “It Came From Social Media” and play another round of “Horror or Porno”.
https://youtu.be/5Cb3ik6zP2I
Synopsis of The Shining
The Shining is the tale of an aspiring writer Jack Torrence (Jack Nicholson) taking his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall), and son Danny (Some kid named Danny) to The Overlook Hotel. It lies secluded, deep within the heavily forested mountains of Colorado. He is hired to be the caretaker of The Overlook in the winter off-season. While there he intends to write the next great american novel whose protagonist is worn down by the pressures of capitalism and the lack of leisure time. Meanwhile Danny Torrence is tutored by a magical negro about Danny’s ability to see the future and read minds. Also, the hotel is haunted and Jack goes crazy. Do you really not know the plot to THE SHINING?
https://youtu.be/WJfhB3Vj_G8
Reviewof The Shining
OK, here we go. I appreciate this movie. It is one of Kubrick’s masterpieces. It’s visually stunning and meticulously crafted. It’s undeniably an great and important movie.
I just don’t like it.
It’s slow. The characters are empty shells of people that lack most semblance of humanity and motivation, other than to:
be scared, or
be menacing.
To be frank, I couldn’t figure out what was going on and why most of the time. The book was better.
COME AT ME HORROR FANS, I don’t like your precious SHINING.
The start out, I wanted to talk about the differences between the book The Shining, and the movie The Shining.
Dick Halloran
In the book, Dick Halloran lives and ends up being instrumental in saving Wendy and Danny
In the film, Dick gets pretty much instantly murdered, and only helps circumstantially by bringing up the snow cat.
The Overlook
The hotel is a real entity in the book, it is very literally trying to consume the Torrence family
In the film, the hotel seems to be haunted and there are hints that it is steering Jack, but the connection between Jack’s psychosis and the hotel is unclear.
Tony
Tony in the book is Danny’s “imaginary friend” that talks to him and shows him things. But really, Tony is a spirit that is more of a guardian angel.
In the film Tony is… What is tony? He seems to be Danny’s subconscience or a spirit possessing him… or something.
Hedge Animals (The one welcome change)
In the book, there were a bunch of topiary animals that would move and eventually attack Wendy, Danny, and Dick.
In the film, the hedge animals don’t exist, but there is a hedge maze, which figures into the ending.
The Ending
In the book, Jack is distracted by trying to kill his family and forgets to release pressure from the aging boiler in the basement. As a result, the boiler explodes, ripping a hole through the Overlook, and causing it to be burned down to the ground.
In the film, Jack gets lost in the hedge maze and freezes to death.
https://youtu.be/uGOd_cM_voY
Needless to say, Stephen King wasn’t a huge fan of the film.
Differences in the Doctor Sleep Movie/Book
The differences are very interesting given that a sequel to the book and a sequel to the movie were created.
So the sequel to the book The Shining includes Dick Halloran being a personal mentor to Danny, and the Overlook no longer existing.
The sequel to the movie uses the source material from the book sequel, but doesn’t have the physical presence of Dick, and does have the Overlook still standing in it. Considering the problems that presents, Mike Flanagan does a great job.
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2019/11/06/doctor-sleep-review/
Speaking of the sequel, check out our review of Doctor Sleep from last week.
It goes without saying that Jack Nicholson is fantastic in this film. He is 100% Jack.
Shelly Duvall is also iconic in this film. She is also the weirdest proportioned human being on film imo.
The Good Bits
There are a few shining moments in this film, where people act like humans. They are:
Wendy speaking to the pediatrician, and
Dick Halloran speaking with Danny about the shining.
Music is also a huge part of what makes this film work. The score is filled with mid-20th century composers like György Ligeti , Krzysztof Penderecki, and Béla Bartók. The aleatoric music of Penderecki has in particular become the de facto style of modern horror films.
The Confusing Parts
I still have questions about this film. I’ve read the book, which filled in most of the gaps, but really it’s a completely different story. So here are a few things that I still don’t understand what Kubrick was going for:
What causes Jack to go insane?
What purpose do the ghosts serve in the hotel? To be spooky?
What’s up with Tony? Is Danny Possessed? Is it Danny’s Subconcience?
The sexual stuff… why?
Why does Dick come back?
Why is Jack in that photo at the end?
So really, my beef with this movie is that there isn’t a lot ofconnective tissue, or rather, it does a really bad job of answering “why” things happen.
Final Recommendations
Definitely see The Shining if you haven’t. It is a really important and influential film in the genre and in filmmaking as a whole. However, be prepared to be disappointed that it doesn’t live up to the hype, and like me, you find it slow and emotionally cold.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 71: The Shining Review Transcript
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Get help dot com Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny Horror Movie review Show your panel of expert hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hansen, who holds a phD in spook ology, and Professor David Day, the foremost expert on scare. No nose. New theatrical releases always get priority. But we also review older horror movies both good and horrible. I’m Bryce Hanson, and I’m Davide. And we have a special special special guest today. Our friend Aaron Hanson, our friend. Aaron. How are you doing, Aaron? Doing good. Thanks for Kevin. How dare you? Bryce knows I have a new toy, and he’s being the the child that we all know he is and denying the use of it. He’s not gonna allow me to do my my my sound effects. Yeah. So we’re gonna have a lot of clips today because David has has his computer set up now drops. Oh, we’re at risk of too much entertainment. No, no. Watch out. Is the fun patrol. Okay, so, uh, we’ve got a great episode today. I’m super excited about this one. Before we get into it. Let’s talk about our website. It’s at horror movie talk dot com. Please go there and you’ll find past episodes and posts and block post of a horror movie topics and also links to our social media. You can follow us on Facebook. Twitter, instagram, tic tac picked on YouTube you to Lincoln Din. Just search for horror movie talk or horror movie talk podcasting. He’ll find us there. We post new episodes every Wednesday. So please subscribe and leave a rating on iTunes. We’re trying to get up to 200 ASAP, and we’re at, you know, 48 right now. So, uh, you ready? If you leave a rating that it is a big impact on our visibility. So what are we gonna talk about? We’re gonna talk about the Shining. Have been So I’ve been so like, excited for and dreading this episode because Bryce Bryce is not a a cubic fan, and, uh, I don’t know. I’m just I’m just worried. I’m just worried about how this will go. Don’t worry. Okay. Ah, we’ll start out giving a brief review and our score for the movie. We score on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being a miserable dredge where it makes you angry. Five being an average film that hits all the expected marks and 10 being so good it transcends genre boundaries. After we give our score will get into spoilers and take a deeper dive in one into what we liked and hated about the film. Um, you know, it’s the shining. So if you’re if you’re worried about spoilers, yeah, I mean, you know, really shouldn’t. Why are you listening to this show? Should have watched it by now. Right? It’s been years on kind of What kind of pathetic person hasn’t seen the shining It? I mean what? I mean, no one in this room, right? Yeah. We’ve all seen the Shining. Yeah, later will be doing a couple special special bits. I’m really excited about this one we’re going to do it came from social Media, where we’ll read a couple comments from our social media feeds on people reaching out to us. And then, yes, it returns horror or porno. Theo. The last time we played this, Aaron was also a special guest on the show. That was for the already or not show. You’ve done this on purpose. There’s one or two things happening either either. I mean, either the porno is following Aaron around or she’s bringing it here with this thing is not the case. This is just basically the only thing that gets us in the mood anymore. Is that your movie or a porno on the podcast. Yeah, You gotta listen to this Really necessary for a relationship at this point, those screams and suffering, and then you just like it’s time to go. So if you’ve never listened a horror porno the game before, buckle up and we definitely earn are not safe for work. Yeah, connotation. Yeah. This is a great game. I’m very excited. Now. You just do it when I’m on so that you know, I can’t recommend it to any of my friends. Yeah, exactly. Well, I don’t know. Maybe still recommend. Yeah. See, that’s one of the problems with me sharing the podcast with my network on Facebook because it’s all just chock full of Mormons. It’s like, Well, I’m got, like, 500 friends that are Mormon and, like the story that are not you say that like it’s a problem. But Utah has the biggest porn porn usage per of any state in all of the United States. Is that true? That is 100% true, according to Pornhub statistics. Interesting. Yeah. So this week we watch the shining, and it’s pretty good. Hello. Oh, wait. What? Really? Here is the trailer. I don’t suppose they told you anything in Denver about the tragedy we had up here during the winter of 1970? Well, a man named Charles Grady is the winter caretaker. He came up here with his wife and two little girls think Muddy. From what I’ve been told me, he seemed like a completely normal individual. But at some point during the winter, he must have suffered some kind of a complete mental breakdown. Ran a muck, killed his family with an ax. You can rest assured, Mr Own. And that’s not gonna happen with me. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess so. For some people, solitude, isolation, Johnny the Shining is available to rent on most streaming platforms. But if your horror movie fan, you should probably have this on DVD line around anyways. It’s the shining, right? Yeah. Um, so let’s give it snaps. The Shining is a tale of an aspiring writer, Jack Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson, taking his wife, Wendy, played by Shelley Duvall. Hello. I’m Shelley Duvall on and, uh, thanks, Shelly. She’s a special guest today, and, ah, his son Danny played by some kid named Danny, and he takes them to the Overlook hotels. It lies secluded deep within the heavily forested mountains of Colorado. He’s hired to be the caretaker of the Overlook in the winter off season. While there, he intends to write the next Great American novel, whose protagonist is worn down by the pressures of capitalism and the lack of leisure time. Meanwhile, Danny Torrance is tutored by a magical Negro about Danny’s ability to see into the future and read minds. Also, the hotel is haunted and Jack goes crazy. Do you really not know what the plot of the shining is? It’s the shining. It is that. Is that true? I’m just a little taken aback by your usage of of, um, the word, uh, the shining. No, that’s a trope. The magical Negro. You never heard of that before? No. Yeah. You need to defend yourself immediately. Well, yeah, like the legend of Bagger Vance. Like where it’s or driving Miss Daisy where you know, white people are. You have all these problems and their life is out of order. And then some super folksy African American person enters their life and solved all their problems and teaches them how to love again, or something like that. Oh, so it’s a trope. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But also, he is magical. And he is a Negro. That is, it’s the most direct A representation of that trophy there could possibly be. I’m sad that the the joke fell flat of the of the novel. I’m gonna be honest. Whose protagonist was worn down by the pressures of capitalism in the lack of leisure time. Well, I mean, man, I love this movie so much. Uh, there’s so many different things about this movie that All right, calm down. Okay, here we go. I appreciate this movie. It is one of the It is one of Kubrick’s masterpiece is It’s visually stunning and meticulously crafted. It’s undeniably a great and important movie. I just don’t like it proves you it’s slow. The characters are empty shells of people that lack most semblance of humanity and motivation other than a to be scared or B to be menacing. And to be frank, I couldn’t figure out what was going on or why. Most of the time the book was better. Come at me, horror fans. I don’t like your pressure shiny. Wow. I mean, it’s just it’s It’s I mean the real lesson to learn in this show is it’s OK to be wrong, which is which is to say that everybody’s taste is very different and and sometimes we get people who are very angry at us. And you come at us about very strange things that are like they’re like, What? What? What was It was the guy, The guy I really liked the curse a la Llorona, but hated like terrified. And it was like terrified is objectively terrible movie. But the curse of La Llorona, though wow, really itch on my body was scratched up. OK, you fucking lunatic. He was He was really concerned for people that would listen to our show and take our advice and not see the curse of law. You’re ona that he thought, like we’re leading people away from really great or movies, which is fair. He’s got a different taste in us. Yeah, he’s like you. He’s just like you. You know, I liked watching like Siskel and Ebert back in the day, and I always disagreed with him, always disagreed with both of them. Like a lot of the time. I would usually disagree with critics when I was growing up, Um, so I mean, I don’t feel bad about it, but when it gets to vitriol when they’re like, these guys are fucking idiots. How dare they not like, first of all, your own? A. That’s just so telling of them, you know? I mean, it’s it’s just a taste thing. Yeah, it’s just a taste this anyways, the shining is terrible way. What did you give it? Oh, yeah, we gotta give the score. I give it an eight out of 10. Fight me. That wasn’t terrible. Yeah, that doesn’t sound like someone. I mean, it’s a good movie. It’s, you know, it’s a classic. It’s visually stunning. It’s amazing to watch in terms of filmmaking and craft, but storytelling leaves much to be desired. Seen my opinion? Seems so, uh, this movie. I feel like this movie’s responsible for my taste in in horror. Yeah, it’s hugely influential to and and I watched it when I was very young. Ah, it may have been one of the first. It may have been the first horror movie I ever saw, and, um, and and there was so much about it that was mysterious and vague and And that in and of itself was creepy to me. And not only creepy, but like, titillating like it made. It made me think about it, all that, you know, it may be like, Oh, what was that? What? What was that? What was that? And so you go back to the movie hoping that you you get something more from it, and but and in each time you would. But he would still be mysterious and in clinical and cold and weird. And it’s just it’s what I love Now you know, it’s almost like it. It recreates that feeling of when you’re a kid and you’re seeing something that’s inappropriate and you just cannot process it or understand it exactly. Even as an adult, it’s exactly that you watch it and you’re like, I don’t understand what’s going on. Yeah, yeah, it’s just this is just this vague wash of like terror and unease and just like Whoa! Hey, what? Wait a minute. What the fuck was that like? And then it really builds into and the music killed me as a kid, like it was like, you know, all those strings and all, and just so much intensity with the heartbeat and like, yeah, so what do you give it? Oh, this is the most solid 10 I’ve ever given, Aaron. Um, well, it is purpose that eyes this. This is the first time you’ve seen way Watched it days ago, three days ago, I had never seen it. I mean, I’ve seen clips and parodies, and but I have seen it start to finish, but yeah, it was. I mean, I can see why it’s beloved by so many people. And at the same time, I there were a couple moments. It’s story wise that I kind of shook my head and it’s like, Well, that was abrupt and there was no really leading to it Other than foreshadowing liken our previous. But I don’t know, it’s I’d say filmmaking wise brings it up a notch for me, just the mastery of it. So I’d probably say, nine out of 10 9 being the reflection of like there I feel like there should be a clear like story that, if that that you should at least understood. Even if you don’t understand what’s happening, you should understand the character’s motivations for what’s happening or you understand their motivations. But you don’t understand what’s happening. And I don’t think either one of those things occurred. Yeah, and we should. We should also mention that for those of you who aren’t who haven’t listened to Aaron, she’s been on a few episodes. I think you were on hereditary. And then also ready or not, Yeah, Hereditary was just like a special interview. She she wasn’t on the regular podcast, most of it. And Aaron is, of course, prices wife, and she is not a big horror fan. So she it’s like pulling teeth, getting her to watch a horror movie. So the context of getting her to watch the shining was that she saw a trailer starring the dreamy Ewan McGregor on She was like, Well, I got to see Dr Sleep So I want to see that which is on the face just completely shocking to me. I had to like I had to just dragger to see Interview with the vampire like that is the level of discomfort. Wait, what was in that movie released in 1994. Yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah, I was like, I was just really like she really dislike score movies you took. Wait, you took Aaron to see Vacher make her watch. Okay? He said he said, drag her too. So I was like, What? Have you guys drag her to the living room for ever? Um, what was the so anyways? The context was she wanted to see Dr Sleep, and she felt like she needed to see the Shining to understand it, which you don’t. But I definitely jumped at the opportunity to get her to watch the Shining so she could be on the episode today. Yeah, in terms of in terms of just being scared or feeling, feeling worried and that kind of thing as someone who’s not really a horror movie fan. How did the shining hit you? Um well, I think I was kind of ruined by, you know, 39 years of parody and endlich clips. But, um, I mean, the most shocking part is when Jack is like full psychopath mare, and that’s like the only thing you see it from the movie. I don’t know. The movie is so disconcerting to me. It’s It’s like I don’t know. There’s something so strange about a little kid riding around in a big, empty hotel and then he likes stops. And then the blood gets off the elevator and you’re like, What the fuck was that? No, that was It was definitely disturbing. And, um, I think there’s more instead of frightening, it was more just disturbing and uneasiness and then seeing the I won’t say a descent into madness because it was a hard left hand. But the, uh I mean, just seeing, like the setup for it and then the super weird sex scene with the dead person and are almost sexy. And I should say And then I don’t know, it just seemed like make out. We’ll talk about it later. But it wasn’t it wasn’t frightening. Yeah, I mean, she she didn’t really? Well, yeah, it’s not a movie that a non horror movie person would hate because it’s it’s pretty. Well, here’s that’s pretty tame compared to hereditary. Here’s the thing, Though. Internet Aaron has always done well. Yeah, in my experience with hereditary. No, she’s great. It’s just she just does not like the feeling of being scared. Of course. Does not like the feeling of dread. Yeah, like she does not like living there. Yeah, and that’s just my entire life. So, yeah, it’s like going It’s like wrapping myself in a warm blanket. Warm embrace. Yeah, All right. So let’s ah do mineral real quick. Um, if you want to support the show and we hope you d’oh, we go through great time of an expense toe. Try to bring a good product. We have a patriotic account. That’s where you can support us most directly. Any amount you pledge goes right back into the podcast to make it a better show for you. We have several tears that allow you access to exclusive bonus content, including early access to episodes as soon as we edited him. What? Which is, like, 22 or three days earlier, like this. Like this Last this last week for Dr Sleep, I I got it out day we recorded Saturday of ahead of time, Um, as well as in an entirely separate podcast called the After Pod. That’s only Oops, sorry. Waving around. Just stick your late ing and knocking Mike’s over. Um, the after pot is just a separate podcast where we leave the mike’s running and talk about behind the scenes info and what’s going on in our Lives at horror movie talk. Another way you can support the podcast is if you ever do you ever shop on amazon dot com. Have you heard of this website called amazon dot com? I got five things coming to me today. They’ve got everything we know you’re gonna shop in a hands on anyway. So if you go to our website horror movie talk dot com and click on the green button in the header of our website that says Shop on Amazon a portion of any of your Amazon purchase or, you know rental anything expand on Amazon will go to horror movie talk. And it’s not minute. It’s enough to make it worth your while to do it. Yes, so please, please do that. Don’t believe that it’s a small, little, half a cent sort of thing. It’s not. Yeah, um, so if you’re gonna buy or rent a horror movie after listening to the pod, click through the button in the banner shudder dot com is a streaming service for horror aficionados, and our listeners get a special deal. If you use code HMT it, check out. You’ll get a 30 day free trial instead of the standard shitty, godawful seven day free travel. You get that seven day free trial. You are a moron. Yeah. What do you think about seven day free trial? It’s Ah, it’s dumb. Yeah, that’s what we have. A little bit more higher than that. It’s bad. All right, Thanks. Thanks cc. Where we don’t have also check out our resident artist, Dustin Goebel. He is a professional artist who fucks hard. David wrote this copy. I altered it a little. Please follow him on instagram at D Goebel 00 d g o e b e l 00 to see some of his fabulous work. If you’re a horror fan, you won’t be disappointed. He also takes commissions for artwork from horror movie talk fans or from anyone. If you reach out, you can reach out to him at D Goebel 00 on instagram and make your artistic dreams come true. Tell him HMT sent you. Yeah. You can also check out his Web site, dustin global dot com. And you know what? He’s got some great taste. He was giving me some some advice. On what? On things I need to watch. Like cinematically Thea Other day I was talking to him and he said, You absolutely need toe. Here’s Here’s the things the two things he gave me He was like, You absolutely need to watch the raid to which I think is a Thai movie. Or maybe is that a horror movie? I think that’s an action. It is not a horror movie. It is an action. When he’s like we were talking about Commando and I was like, I action movies and he was like, Yeah, but the raid to this is the best action movie you’ll ever see. The camera works amazing. So I gotta watch that. And then and then also berserk. The the enemy Siri’s from the nineties, I believe, which was a mango thing anyway. So check out dust and he’s got some great stuff. Yeah, let me adjust this thing here real quick, so he does a for each of the posts for the last, like, a month and 1\/2 fish. He’s He’s created a custom artwork for it, and they’re all awesome. I especially like the lighthouse, one where he has bird characters with Siegel shit on him. And what’s the other really funny one that he did the pumpkinhead one with the Yabba Pumpkinhead one was with earbud was that that was great. It was better than that movie dessert. Yeah, it was good. So thanks again for listening and let’s get into spoilers. First of all, we just watched Doctor sleep, too. So that’s the context of this whole thing is that Dr Sleep was coming out. We wanted to shining before it. We usually do. You know the source material, like the original movie if there’s a remake coming out or the original if there’s a sequel coming out and we looked out and there was, ah, Week advanced screening for Dr Sleeps and now we’re doing the shiny Yeah, not that you care about any of this information, but that’s what it is. So let’s talk about first the I guess only I will be talking about this, but the movie versus the book okay for the Shining. Yeah, and we can even talk about the book versus the movie Doctor sleep because there’s a lot of crossover that’s interesting for people that are going to Dr Sleep this week. Aren’t yeah next week or whatever. So the main difference is in, I think the Shining is like Stephen King’s best selling work. Yeah, I think it is the one thing that got him. No, I guess the Kerry probably got him the most attention. I think that was the first, like, really big one. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. But I think the Shining is his number one book. Yeah, ever. And I’ll tell you after I watched the movie, you know, I didn’t I watch The movie is the first time as an adult, So I was in my twenties at least, and I was kind of underwhelmed or just like I. It’s one of those things where you get told something so important over and over again that when you watch it, it could never live up to it. But mostly I was confused. Yeah, and that’s like the taste it left in my mouth. And then I listened to the Audio Book of the Shining and it filled in all of the gaps. I was like, Oh, yeah, it made me see the movie in a different light and I started understanding right that Stanley Kubrick was telling his very own story. He was telling his very own story, but also telling it in like the vibe of it like that. He’s telling the story of seclusion and claustrophobia and insanity with vibe with with vibe and visuals but none of like the establishing story. It’s the same reason why you could never understand. I still don’t understand what the end of 2000 won is supposed to mean a fucking lord of 2001. It’s just he’s a visual artist, but he doesn’t necessarily tie it to a story or like conveying information other than look at how cool this looks look and listen like it’s all looking. Listen stuff, Yeah, So watching the shining and listen listening to you describe like how the book fills in gaps. Um, like, reminded me of reading 2001. A Space Odyssey think is in seventh grade and then watching the movie after we read it in our science class and you read the Shine, the Shining No. 4001. I apologize and uh huh. And still what? Well, it was okay. The teacher, like I walk in on parent orientation night and you know, the whatever orientation night, and he’s got like, various versions of the Enterprise models hanging from the ceiling and Star Trek. The next generation is playing cause it’s six o’clock and it’s on the TV. So anyway, so this is all coming in the front. So we read 2001 and then we watch the movie. And even like at that time, when we were discussing the book, he talked about how Kubrick was not necessarily making an adaptation. He was making a companion right to the book. So, um, I kind of feel like maybe that’s what he was like Maybe doing maybe he was making a companion to the Shining the book, but also, I guess he changed it a lot to make it his own. Yeah, there’s definitely so I think probably one of the best people to explain this is Stephen King himself. I have a clip of Stephen King. I don’t know if you know this or not, but Stephen King hate this movie like he absolutely hates Kubrick. Virgin of the Shine, which blows me away because this because it’s widely regarded to be maybe maybe one of the best horror films ever made ever. Right and use, You know he’s fair. But all of these points that Stephen King makes about Kubrick Shining are all completely valid to me. Like it totally valid, but explains why. Um, I prefer the book over over the movie. Anyways, here’s here. Stephen King talking about his take on the Shining The movie in the novel Shining Jack Torrance is a difficult character, but he’s fundamentally a sympathetic character, and I always visualized him is a piece of metal that’s bent 1st 1 way and the other by these malignant spirits who basically want Hiss son because his son is a psychically powerful person. So I saw these always warm characters characters that were being threatened by forces from without, from ghosts from riel supernatural creatures. And the film is extremely cold. Stanley Kubrick saw The haunting is coming from Jack Torrance from the Jack Nicholson character, whereas I always saw it from outside. So we had a fundamental a difference of opinion about, and I always thought that really difference between my take on it and Stanley Kubrick’s take on It was this. In my novel, the Hotel Burns in Kubrick’s movie, the hotel freezes. It’s a difference between more coal, but the images are striking, there’s no doubt about it. I mean, Jack Nicholson’s face in the doorway, his bearded, crazy printing face says, Here’s Johnny, which was his ad lib, and it became, you know, part of the movie. So the images is striking. But to me, that surface, it’s not substance. So I used to describe the Shining. The film is something like a beautiful car that had no engine in it. This this is so like this is so perfect to me like that. I love that I love. I love everything, Stephen King says. I hate everything he writes typically, but But I mean, the dude like I’ve said it before, did like Amazing Powerhouse of a writer. He’s a great storyteller. Yeah, here’s the thing. A great storyteller. It’s interesting to me that still, he can’t see this as art inspired by art like he’s so wrapped up in his own art that he like that he’s that he’s mad about the story being told in someone else’s. Aren’t that was inspired by Hiss? Yeah, I mean, yes, but it has. The only problem is probably has the name The Shining. It’s one of the most important books for him personally, probably because not just because it’s one of the best selling, but also it’s a pretty personal tale about alcoholism. Yeah, and being a writer and basically peeing on the edge of insanity because of, you know, disease and outside, you know, forces, supposedly And um, yeah, I mean, I would even go this far. It’s Stephen King said that the ending was the difference. Is the book the hotel Burns? I’d say, Instead of the hotel freezes and Stanley Kubrick’s It’s Jack Freeze like that, it really shows the focus of where the story is because in the book it’s It’s the hotel itself has power, and it’s trying to consume the family very literally Night and in the movie. It’s all about Jack Torrance and his inner demons. And then, in the end, it’s just it shows him him dying. And in the book, it’s the hotel dine. So it’s it’s kind of interesting that way. Yeah, I mean, it’s you can’t deny that this movie is very cold. Oh, yeah, absolutely not. Not not just literally, but emotionally. It’s very cold and detached. Yeah, absolutely. And but I mean, you know, and it’s But it’s, you know, I’m I’m an adult child of an alcoholic and and and I experienced alcoholism as a child. And I know that everybody, you know and I’ve talked to many kids or people who have also gone through that, and everyone’s experience is so similar, but also so different, you know, and it’s all. And I mean, maybe that’s just, uh, you know, maybe it’s just speaks to Maybe Q bricks. Experience with alcoholism was very different than kings. Actually, I’m sure it was because because they’re very different people. Yeah, but I knew it was even that the alcoholism is a much bigger part in the book, like it’s a main story point that it’s a source for the reason for why he is watching the Overlook Hotel because he got fired from his teaching job are like lashing out at a student. There is less alcohol in the movie then, then we’ll and it also explains it in the in the book. There’s no alcohol like he’s not consuming alcohol, but he’s acting like right. He is because the hotel is basically getting him drunk off of its off of its power. Um, so a couple things to talk about people that are interested in What’s the difference between the book and the movie The Shining and Dr Sleep? We can talk. I can talk about it briefly together cause I listen to the audio book for both, and I’ve watched both. Now the main differences are in the shining Tony, and this is one of the really confusing parts for me when I first watch it like, What exactly is Tony? Is it something possessing Danny? Or is it Danny Subconscious? Where? It was my impression, just from watching the movie that it was that it was the shine within Danny. Yet in the book, it’s much more specific. Tony is an actual spirit that communicates with Danno, so it’s It’s an imaginary friend that is, apart from Danny and Danny can see and talk with, and that’s that’s how it works, Okay, and then the in the movie, it’s like what? It’s Danny talking in a different voice mints like he’s make believing. It’s like he’s doing a puppet show. It’s like he’s fucked up to begin with. So you’re not it’s not. It’s not detached from Danny at all, right? It is so it’s somehow integrated into Danny. But really, it’s supposed to be his imaginary friend. That’s actually a ghost. Another one, this is Ah, this’d probably a good choice on Stanley Cooper. Expert Big part in the novel was these hedge animals. There is no hedge maze. But there was these hedge animals out in the front, and the hedge animals attacked like and it was all sweetie. The biggest part of menace was these hedge animals. Well, it was really creepy in the book. Like it was used to great effect in that they be like that. Did that hedge animal just move? Did it? Didn’t just start looking at me. You’re talking like topiaries or bushes, okay? And, uh, I’m sorry, Topiaries. She just She just listened to Dr Sleep, and she put me on blast for calling her out for saying u N z a U N. And, uh, her audio book e wing is what he prefers to be called. She’s It’s okay. It’s not your fault. You in your fucking buddies. It’s not your fault being Scottish in Norwegian, us, Welsh and Irish and British like we know. What’s up? Hey, I am Well, you’re Scottish English. I’m all that. And I just say, E wing, Yeah, you in that? Your your snooty and, uh and, uh, condescending. Yeah, And I’m like, Ah, that guy got nothing. The other changes that we’ve already explained. The hotel burns at the end of the book the Shining, which is difficult because in Dr Sleep the movie, you have to adapt a source where the hotel doesn’t exist. Well, so they hotel still exists in the movie, Doctor sleep on dhe, then the other main differences. Dick Hallorann survives in the book. I’m in the movie he’s murdered. So if you’re if you’re Mike Flanagan adapting Dr Sleep and Dr Sleep, the book exists in a world that Dick Hallorann is still alive and mentoring Danny and the Overlook Hotel no longer exists. It gives you some interesting, but I thought that they dealt with it really well. You would not be ableto notice that anything was out of place, the way he handled Dick Hallorann and and the hotel. And I think the hotel in Dr Sleep was very satisfying in the ending. And basically, if you if you know the books, you see that the ending of Dr Sleep. The movie is basically the same as the end of the shining. The book. Yeah, right. Yeah, it’s not being left with shining cue bricks shining on and then having to do Doctor a doctor sleep movie would not be terribly hard because they did leave the hotel intact. And so now you can just have an intact hotel to go to and be spooked out in and then and then blow up. Okay, so that’s enough about the books in the movies. Um, Jack Nicholson is 100% Jack Nickle sentence. He’s full, Full Jack. It’s creepier. I know, right? I really I really love. I was gonna share this leader, but I’ll jump the gun and just share this clip about, um, this isn’t what Ari asked Ari Astor says about the Shining, which is an interesting take Hey mentioned specifically about Jack, the character to which I agree with a SZ for his atmosphere is concerned. Like the Shining was, you know, it was a big one. I kind of I think the Shining is almost more, but it works almost for me more as a comedy than it does a horror film What’s that? You got technical cities like crazy from the beginning, before they even get up to the hotel like he’s ready to kill his family well before he even gets the job you want was being taken on. And then you have, like the title slamming into Monday and Wednesday. He’s gone totally insane. Three days then it was important to me to sort of sustain this doom laden tone where you know something awful is coming. So yeah, he is wrong. It doesn’t happen in three days, but yeah, it’s in the movie. It jumps forward a month, and it’s basically the same. And then Jacko’s and saying within like, three days. But I agree with him like if you if you watch Jack on the car ride to the Overlook, he’s basically like, I want to take this fucking car off the road. I’m gonna give everybody here. Yeah, he’s When you look at Jack Nicholson, you just always assumed that he’s insane. And a psychopath who are on this earth, or at least just supremely sarcastic right. I like he gives off this. He gives off the vibe of like, I get fucked every night. You know, like and twice on Sundays And, like, just and it’s it’s It’s it’s like, ominous, you know, he’s just he’s got that. It’s like super straight Tom Cruise, you know? What are you insinuating? I don’t know if they both have this weird striking to give anything more straight than Tom Cruise. My apologies. Have you ever seen risky business? So, um, Shelley Duvall is the weirdest proportioned human being ever. Hey, you be nice to poor Shelly. Jesus. Hello. I’m Shelley Duvall. I forgot she was here. Um, so sorry. Yeah. Shelley Duvall is She’s she’s greatness. She’s in terms of the character existing solely. Toe look terrified. I can’t think of anyone better than Shelley Duvall. And apparently Kubrick borderline tortured that he tortured her to get those react on the side of this movie to make her to basically give her ptsd. Um, not cool. There’s There’s a few shining moments in this no pun intended for me. And one of them is Shelley Duvall. When, when she’s talking with the child psychiatrist, it’s the pediatrician that comes to check on a pediatrician or whatever. So the there’s there’s just two moments that I can point to where humans act like human people. In this movie, one is Shelley Duvall. Talking to the pediatrician and two is when Dick Hallorann is talking to Danny. Yeah, when he’s sitting with him with the ice cream, those areas like, Look, kid, what’s up? Those were the two most like, resonant human moments where people act like normal people. Yeah, and then the rest of it’s just like I don’t understand, Like what they’re feeling or what’s going on internally with them. Well, Shelley Shelley is provide. I would I would argue that that she has a lot of humanity when she’s scared. Yeah, it’s specifically when she like when she finds what he’s been writing this whole time. And it’s just all all all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy at written a 1,000,000 different ways. And then, like in prose and then, like in straight lines and stuff and she’s like, Who? Shit? And then and then he starts coming at her and she’s got the bat and she’s backing up snaking her way through that room, and she’s like, I don’t know, I’m just really confused. I mean, if you if you if you want someone this acting menacing and someone that’s acting terrified, you will be completely satisfied with this movie. But, um, other than mad like Yeah, yeah, yeah, It’s a standard Q Brick. Uh, right tick. And for me, I do love some Kubrick movie is like, I’m not a huge fan where I’m just all upon Kubrick stick for everything. But what your favorite one of my favorite ones are Clockwork orange. Okay, Like, fabulous. And his coldness works in that one. Yeah. Like, absolutely works. Um and then, um, full metal jacket. Oh, Forman. Oh, yeah, Absolutely. But I mean, I consider that, like to movies like the first, the first movie of full metal jackets, like 11 out of 10. What about you, Aaron? Do you dare You fan of any any Q brick films? I’ve only seen the shining in 2001. And what do you think about 2001? I thought it was great. I really liked it. Well, I read the book too, so I understood what’s happening. And then I got this very nice visual presentations. Not already read. Was that Arthur C. Clarke? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that my reaction to 2001 was very similar to my reaction of the shining ones like it’s slow and boring and I don’t understand, Like what the story is supposed to be telling right now. You know, stuff happens. Yeah, and I see stuff happening and it looks great, but I don’t know why I should care. Like my family was big were big cubic fans, and so and they were big, Um, symphony fans like symphonic music like Old Classic And so So by virtue of the fact that, like a lot of his movies, had some amazing tracks, we just end up watching them a lot. And so 2001 was like the most like, another very formative movie for me, where I was like Oh my God, what is this? What’s interesting? Kubrick is very particular about everything, like use super particular, and I don’t know if you know this, But he commissioned a composer to write an original soundtrack for 2001 which does exist like completely new music, and what he did was, he said, the film to he like included tracks. I want the the score to sound like these pieces and So he includes a blue Danube he includes, like all the music that’s in the movie now and gives it to the composer composer it kills. It kills it like there’s a full score and Kubrick listens to it. He’s like, I think I like the blue Dan. I think I just like the songs that I picked better and so use that. But you can Sometimes you see concerts of the actual score that was wow created from the shining So cool. Yeah, if you haven’t watched room to 37 that the Yeah, the 3 to 37 is basically, like the equivalent of 9 11 truthers talking about their obsession with the Shining. Yeah, like Kubrick has a master plan where Look at these cans in the back and see the cans of Cal You meant in the background with the Indian head on it that the Native American head on Yeah, that stands for Western expansion. Literally. That’s literally like something that said in that I watched about, like, 30 minutes and then I’m like, Okay, I get like, these people are crazy. It’s like three hours worth of talk about a two and 1\/2 hour movie. Yeah. Um, the music. We were gonna talk about the music. The music in the Shining is a huge part of the impact of the movie. Great. One of the reasons why a lot of the moments work without the music and without the score, this movie would not be talked about. And I should say, I will. You have mentioned. But when this came out, it was a critical failure. People didn’t like it, really. And I don’t think a lot of people that watch it early on liked it either. Because it was different from anything that was done before. Hugely influential now. But, I mean, it’s really interesting Thio here about movies that weren’t received well when it first was released and now is considered a masterpiece. And sometimes I agree with the original audience. I’m like, Yeah, it’s not back. Great. Yeah, yeah, I mean, but then you got silent night, Deadly night that beat out nightmare on Elm Street first week and then got pulled for being too obscene. Yeah. So, um, the both me and Aaron have music, degrees, bachelors and music, and and a lot of the composer’s that air featured on the soundtrack for The Shine in a recognizable 20th century composers, Penderecki is featured in most of the music, which is, if you think about a horror movie soundtrack, it’s gonna sound like Penderecki. And then he’s, like, legit, considered a classical composer of the 20th century. Like, um, academics and music professors like make students study his music. And it sounds like a horror soundtrack, like in your music history classes, like the string stings like the right and the weird kind of timpani sounds. And I’m so Inger Ceramic Buller, the Water Bowl or whatever it is that they hit. I’m so interested in these artists who choose to live their life in this fucking jar space. Oh, man, like you actually like you should listen to. I know you’re not a huge symphony fan, but Penderecki, there’s, ah, he did that thready, right? What was it but like, but artists like HR Geiger, who, you know, inspired did all the inspiration for alien. And in these binned and apparently Penderecki, who just lives in this audio space of terror of just like Oh my God, this is so horrifying. I know. I need to introduce you to some mid century 20th century classical music because it’s like all the Alia Tor IQ and a tonal stuff. I think that you’re all right up your alley. I love I love like Have you listen any like Scott Walker’s Like It’s So Low Career Oh my God, it’s terrifying. There’s there’s there’s pieces where it sounds where it sounds like like wet meat dripping. And it’s and what it is, is it’s him. He has a holding. What? Meet a stripping. If you haven’t seen 30th Century Man, it’s It’s a documentary about about Scott Walker. He died this year, and, uh, and he for this for the set to make this sound. He got like, this slab this half of, ah, of a pig, and he just was punching it, punching it next to a nice microphone. So one the Penderecki piece that I really like is threatening t to the victims of Hiroshima Symphony number three. That’s that’s a really good one, fits Jesus. As you can imagine, some other composers that we found there’s bar talk lickety licky like and bear Leo’s, um, the producer of the dreaded lickety split. Well, okay, so the very first thing you hear in the shining is the d s here a theme, Um, that dun dun Dun Dun Dun, Dun Dun that’s that is old that is centuries old. That theme and it’s like a chant is It’s It’s a chant, and it’s literally the day of, like, judgment. Damn, yes, Oh, it’s It’s intended to frighten the masses and into submission. And, um, like Bear Leo’s uses it to like, um, kind of evoke, like, satanic kind of dark things in his dream of the witches Sabbath. Like which, if you haven’t heard it, you you probably have heard at least part of it. But that’s like the beginning of the shining when they use the synthesized kind of low brass. Low strings combination is really effective because it’s like an organ. Sound almost sounds as if the size from like an electrical or something like that, and it’s for me. It felt like just the sound of it. The way it’s like designed makes me feel like I’m going through a tunnel like you’re sweeping across this big lake with this helicopter shot. But the sound of the like the quality of sound makes you feel you’re going through a tunnel and it feels very narrow. And then, like contrast that with seeing Dr Sleep. And when they use that theme in Dr Sleep, they’re using, um, low brat like actual low brass and low strings. Um, probably low woodwinds, too. But they they also like, filter it through like digital synthesizing whatever. But it’s. But it feels way more epic, way more expansive. And so you really feel bigger punch. You feel like there’s more at stake. There’s they’re like, there’s something bigger happened. I know I don’t Yeah, I know in the trailer, like when they played d S e r A. And it’s the symphony. You’re like, Yeah, God damn your hackles rise, you know? But you brought up in an interesting point, Aaron, which is there’s a There’s a contract, a heavy contrast going on right here in this big open space. And then and then the sound you’re for you that’s being forced upon you is is confining or constricting. That’s it, then, is that this? This contrast Ah, Kubrick threw in through the whole movie like he’d wanted you to feel uneasy so he would throw in these very contrasting things or turn things around like intentional, intentional in continuity and of where? Where, you know, Maybe he’d be riding his bike one way down the hall, and then and then you cut to another shot from behind him. But he’s writing the same way down, like the opposite way down the hall so it can kind of mess with your head a little bit well, and it’s a It’s a big hotel, too, and it feels big when they first go there. And it’s full of lively people, and everyone’s having fun. And did you know it’s timber? Lilac right here? It’s right next to you, right nearby in the theater for Dr Slave Hunting people, Theo the like. Wide shot is definitely Timberline Lodge, but then, when they get closer shots of the entrance of the hotel, it’s not. No, it’s a different interior. And then and then the interior is completely different. Interior staged sports some other hotel anyway, So what I was saying was like, the hotel is feels big in the beginning, but then, as like the it feels like the walls are kind of closing in as um, you realize what’s happening in this hotel with, like, craziness happening. And then the fear just makes the feel like the walls are closing and even the ballroom scene, like when he first walks in and he goes up to Lloyd, the bartender, Um, like it’s empty. It feels big. But then all of a sudden it’s full of people and it feels like closed in and claustrophobic. And it’s I think that’s a good point. You make about like the contracts. So a couple more points to talk about before I put this movie on Blast even more is a good conversation. Like again, I I appreciate this movie. It’s just not necessarily for my taste. Um, but the one thing that a super appreciate is the torrents family sweater game is on point. Dude, I love your sweaters. They all are just hard core sweater. Yeah, I gotta tell you, I got better. Fam. I got it, I got it. I got this sweater and I will never like there is one of a collection. It will be a collection now because a wool sweater is just comfy all the time. It’s just comfy cozy. It’s a right temp. It lets enough win through That’s enough wind through that. You’re not. You’re not drowning and in heat. It’s great. Yeah. Yeah. David’s wife gave him the dudes sweater. Yeah, from the Big Lebowski. I love it. And at first it was really hard to wear it in public. It was like, I can’t be that guy, But now I don’t give a shit. Yeah, I’m fully that guy Who will do that, do she think? And, uh, Pendleton Woolen Mills is right from the area, which is the maker of the sweater. And Yeah, man, I wish I could by some of their stuff there got wool blankets that air just world renowned. And it’s like $300 for, like, a little square. Yeah. Fun with this. Grow like a throw blanket that will cover. You know, just your legs, the factories hiring right now. I mean, maybe get an employee discount. Um, another one. Just an observation. Jack Torrance is a huge asshole. Like a separate separate from being insane. So yells it, Wendy, Don’t disturb me when I’m writing. Can’t you see that I’m working? And he chooses the most central huge area in the hotel. He’s got the choice of probably like 200 hotel rooms. Least that if they don’t have a desk, you can put a desk in there. It’s a typewriter. He doesn’t need power. Yeah, he’d just sit there. But no, he’s gotta have the gigantic central meeting room that is the hub of the entire hotel. Did he? This is This is why it doesn’t Jack Torrance in The Shining. The movie does not need alcohol to be an alcoholic. It’s so it’s so reminiscent of alcoholic behavior. It’s just it’s just like, Oh yeah, that guy’s in total debt, dipshit. Yeah. Um, okay, so this this is here’s some of my main questions, Um, and my my beast with the movie has talked about a lot of them, but to me, I wrote this down as I was watching it again. This movie has no connective tissue. Or to say it another way. The movie does a really bad job of answering why. So here’s here’s a couple questions that I have that I don’t think the movie does a great job of answering, and it’s it’s stuff that’s not unimportant, not unimportant. So things like what causes Jack to go insane. It’s not super clear in the movie. It is in the book. Right? Um what purpose did the ghost served in the hotel? To be? Spooky. Yeah. Uh, What do you mean, what purpose? What purpose? To go serve outside of a hotel. So Haman What’ll what? I mean, what was specifically what’s the connection between them and Jack going insane? Yeah, like there’s it’s like two separate things were happening once they’re in a haunted hotel. That’s creepy. And they’re ghosts. That will attack Danny, apparently. But also, Jack is going insane. Yeah, there’s no, like, explicit connection. And there is one in the original story, right? Yes. So if you listen to Kubrick and that it’s, you know internal like, then why is Danny seeing him? And why are they attacking him? Like if it’s Jack, If Jack is the evil eyes because alcoholism is genetic people who’s passed down the trade to his child, he’s just a dry alcoholic. Yeah, I don’t I don’t even think Kubrick would say It’s it’s internal either. I think he’s just not. He’s not concerned about the original character and story of the of the Shining. Um, so what’s the the other one we talk about? What’s up with Tony? Is Danny possessed? Is it Danny Subconscious? Um, the sexual stuff. What even is the shining? Yeah. What? Yeah, What is? I mean? They explained that they, like some people, shine. Some people don’t like the you know how you can read people’s mind and see the future. Well, some people can do that, and some people don’t. So I thought those enough of an explanation for the Shining just for the movie because it was just like, Oh, it’s a It’s a special thing. He’s special and he’s special talking about being special and that that works. But it also has no connection to what happens in the movie. That’s just like, Here’s what the Shining is what the movie is named after, Um, and it’s just two special guys just having a talk over some ice cream you. And if you want to know what the Shining is watched doctor sleep because it actually explains it. Yeah, I got to say, Doctor, sleep is is a like if you haven’t listened to our episode about it, we just did it and it was my favorite blockbuster of the year. I think I had kind of a unique experience because I I saw the shining on Wednesday night. And then I saw Dr Sleep on Friday night way exactly. So So like having those like, I only have 48 hours to digest the shining. And honestly, like I had seen a bunch of parodies, you know? Sure. Bits. And she hasn’t seen The Simpsons one yet. Oh, wow. I think I have, like, I think I have. But I don’t have much of an encyclopedic knowledge of The Simpsons. You’ve got an ocean in, boy, that Shin ae yours. So like having having said that like, I only maybe seen like I’d say, probably 1\/4 of the movie The Shining before I watched the whole thing because there was a lot that surprised me like about the movie that was in the movie because I and I never heard of before. Um, the like, the scene with the pediatrician. Uh huh. And, um, like, that’s, like, the best back story that the movie does. It was like that’s like, all the back story that we get. And, um, and the What was the other thing? The oh, the fact that she’s that Wendy is basically doing all the work in the hotel. Like Jack his leg. I got this job because blah, blah, blah, and I have mouths to feed blah, blah. And he’s like like, there is no, like there was no establishing shot of him doing any work, what so ever? And he’s like, It’s my contract, right? I’m like, Dude, Wendy was checking the boiler room. She’s like fixing all the food for your really keeping are really keyed on in on this. Yeah. I mean, lives because of their backs, just like his computer all day long. And then he goes out these days. Shut up here and I’m working. Don’t disturb me when I’m working. I chose the most central room in the house because I need to stretch out. I need to focus on pulling porno clips. Okay. They have to sound just like horror movies. Um, So the other questions are the sexual stuff in this movie. Like why? Why is the it’s it’s sudden they add a such an element of, like, spinning you around. It’s like Whoa, whoa, e. I mean, that was That was great. When, when, uh, Aaron saw the blowjob sequence first. That’s that’s That’s the most confusing part in the whole movie. Like, Whoa, Why is that dog given that butler a blowjob? Mommy, why is the dog on that man’s lap? That was me in 1992. You were the dog. Yeah. No, I was the one saying, Oh, uh, so you and Aaron made the point while we were watching that. That was probably a lot more shocking back in early eighties, you know, just having homosexuality on film. I guess you don’t. I mean, it could have been a woman in the No, no, it was definitely man, are you? I’m telling you that. Are you designing them? A gender? I don’t presume to know what dogs you. Even if I asked him, He is a canine can. But the I mean, that’s that shot when that happens. Like the front known evidence of fairies. Probably not, but, uh, like in 20 watching it in 2019 for the first time, I’m like, Oh, so this is like a rager, like they’re having a great party, and people were breaking off into separate rooms and goes all these ghosts, like, are still keeping the party going, you know, 50 60 years later, and Blake and then I was thinking about it like men in 1980. Just the idea of showing any homosexuality on screen would be terrifying to lots of men, especially, and that would that would just be like, Oh my gosh, you just add to the scariness of everything because homosexuality is so scary. If the Shining was shot in 2019 it just be like 22 Girl goes just way too obvious. And I would be just like two girls, one cup, way to a to Z. Yeah, it’s just way too inappropriate and over the top. Instead of like the insinuation of sexuality, it be like full blown ghost. I don’t know. People are so desensitized. Everything now like I don’t know that there’s any like, sexual thing that they could do that we shocking have toe. There’s a few I know of. A few would have to be violent, just like like the torture scene in it have to have to be like the torture scene in Dr Sleep. What about that guy? What about that guy on the Internet who freezes poop and then puts it in condoms and then uses. Now I know that exist uses it to pleasure. You’re welcome. And then, um, last two questions. Why does Dick come back? That’s not really explain. Just lunch. Especially special election with Danny. Why does Howard and come back? Yeah, Yeah. Danny shots at him with his head. Danny’s like, Ah, the trends Heller. And sitting there in his bed with his two froze porn ladies a bit above his bad and above his TV. And he’s like, Oh, shit, that little boy in trouble. And he’s like, he like, he’s the best. I love Halloran and Scatman Crothers so much in this man. He’s a shining moment in The movie is great is the funnest wonder. What? Well, I mean, I guess, Jack find us one of Jack’s crazy, uh, the less He’s just crazy. The last question is, why is Jack in that photo at the end? Yeah, so I mean, I think that implies that he was always here, like they say that. I mean, they they say that, but what has been the caretaker, right? Like what? It’s thinking like hotel adding a tally mark to the you know, like like we got another one boys, you know, like, I guess, See that that is like the the final image. And it feels like just that weird twist that’s there to be a twist but doesn’t have any sense other than be like, Yeah, well, that means something. Is that Is that mentioned at all in the book like that? He’s been there previously. Or is that just something that Kubrick at it in or that he talked? It was definitely time in. The photo is like from the twenties, so it’s not actually Jack Torrance the character. So I don’t know, maybe I’m not remembering. Maybe there is a photo with a guy that kind of looks at it. So in the book, it’s really interesting that the descent into madness is very attached to Jack’s obsession with the hotel and that he discovers the history of the hotel. He finds these documents in the basement about the history of the hotel, and it’s got a bunch of shady connections with the mob and, um, like money laundering kind of stuff. And he’s like, This is what I can write my book about, and he he reaches out to the manager of the owner of the hotel is like, I want to do my book on all the dirty laundry about the Overlook Hotel. And they’re like, um no, don’t do that. Please don’t do that. And if you do that, you will suffer consequences, Basically. And so ah, lot of his rage comes from his reaction to that to his reaction to the man basically telling him what he can’t do. And it expands out from there. And the his obsession with the hotel in the history, um, really shows the power that the hotel has over him. Um, so, yeah, that’s that’s that’s kind of missing from the movie as well. Um, but the the one part where it does kind of show the hotel as being an entity and a power of itself is the is the character of Grady the butler. When he’s talking to Jack in the bathroom and he’s he’s basically pushing Jack to be like, Well, you know, you got to do, you know, and it’s definitely the personification of the hotel itself and then the other, like a great side care home. Come on and waste your family and give you a beer. That’s right, because that that butler was greedy. But when the when the hotel owner or manager, whatever was interviewing talked about the murder, The Grady murder later. Yeah, he was the He was the caretaker. Yeah. So? So. And then when he tells Jack you’ve always been the caretaker, like, does that mean that Jack was, like, 10 years previous? He murdered and was That’s just great. He he’s just doing it. He’s just fucking with your head, all right? That was too much, too many. Um, And then the other great moment is the bartender. What’s his name? Lloyd Lloyd Lloyd. Bartenders is great. He’s got the greatest dead stare. Yeah, um, and then the That’s the other part. That kind of tells you that the hotel is has a personality, cause when he specifically says, you know, it’s on the house is basically saying like, this is the hotel giving you what you want. Your money is no good. You know, um, anything else that we want to talk about? The shining man? I, uh really Well, first of all, I don’t know. I don’t I don’t know if there’s really a maze. I don’t think there is a maze up a Timberlake? No. Um, but I would really love to find one of these mazes. And that is a like a 13 foot tall maze. It’s amazing. And it’s all No, but that would be a blast to do. First of all, And then second of all, um, I don’t know, I I love I love the more I watched this movie like. Okay, so I got I gotta admit, there is a little There’s a small not totally in substantial part of me that kind of dreads every week having tow watch another horror movie. Especially when I when I’ve already seen. But when I watched the Shining, you’ve seen it The miniseries and Part one and part 20 Anyway, so, yeah, I mean, so there’s a part of me that’s like, Mmm mmm, mmm mmm. I got to get kind of amped up to do these things. And the shining was like, I’ve seen this so many times, but I went back out and I watched it, and it was It was like I got so much more out of it is this time and so I don’t know if you haven’t seen the shining in a while. And you you are a fan. Uh, then, you know, check it out. Because And it’s a great winter movie. Yeah, it’s a good time to watch it too. Since Dr sleeps out like, watch the shining and then go see Dr Sleep. Yeah, it’s very good Companion pieces And later, the very complimentary The stories in two very different styles, but very good. And cover is my favorite director, Maybe of all time. Yeah. Yeah. Godric Coop, Coop Brack. Come blur. Okay. Um so final recommendations, final recommendations. Who should see this movie? Everyone. Yeah, you go first, everyone. Yeah. I mean, it’s not only is it, you know, a good horror movie, it’s iconic. It’s like part of the, you know, lexicon of film. Like you have to see it. Yeah, yeah, I agree. It’s It’s a must see for anyone. It’s one of Kubrick’s masterpiece is It’s one of Jack Nicholson’s absolute best performances ever. Yeah, and yeah, I mean, it’s it’s ah, fantastic filmmaking. Um, you might not. I love it, but it’s worth saying, definitely if you if you listen a horror movie, talk regularly and you want to get, like a good bead on on my opinions on, like the things that I enjoy about horror horror films. This is like a master class in it. This is so similar. Like I it’s been so interesting to do this podcast because I’ve realized so much about my own taste and how it differs from other people’s. And like I enjoyed the killing of a sacred dear so much, so much more than you. It’s because it’s It’s a cube. Rick ask movie. Yeah, that’s true. It’s interesting because we have really similar tastes as well in terms of, like, family based emotional Yeah, horror like you have that to love it. But you love this. Yeah, just as much. Justus much there and this like, um, just in books, all stories. I love them to be cold and clinical and, like, detached And really, there’s something just so mysterious about that to me that I don’t know, just scratches my itches. Okay, so go see it. Go see Dr Sleep too. On. Let’s move on to it came from social media. Yes, it came from social media to fill the world with terror to bring you one forgettable suspense. What was it? Where did it come from? For the all powerful creatures that brought from social media And what did they want? So it came from social media is ah portion of the podcast that we sometimes dedicate to going over some comments that we’ve gotten from Facebook, Twitter, instagram, wherever they’re coming in at us. And this is ah, very special came from social media because I think we need Thio, maybe make some changes to the podcast going forward. Um so Stephen Stephen M. On Facebook just recently you skipped the 1st 1 What’s this friend? And I know I’ll get to that one. So Stephen M on Facebook? I guess it’s Yeah. A couple of days ago Said Just discovered your podcast on Li. Listen to two episodes so far, but really enjoying it, particularly the witch episode. It made me want to revisit a film. I was totally underwhelmed by just one thing. Please stop burping into the mic. It’s fucking disgusting. And as I was doing brother, as I was going through wth e YouTube, there was a comment that I missed from a month ago from Isaiah and I never saw that? Yeah, he said Hot hot tip in capital letters. If you didn’t belch into the mic and slurp drinks like moronic man children, you might get some extra subscribers. I couldn’t get past two episodes on stitcher, and the APP doesn’t let me express my absolute disgust. Get your shit together. You make all horror movie fans look terrible. Do that. That person. Isaiah, you’ve got some anger issues, buddy. And you in there directionless, and you need to take him out yourself. So this is the level vitriol that this is created that he heard it. He found us on stitcher. And he he wanted to tell us so bad that he had to seek us out on another platform to leave a comment that could fully describe his discussed and then way back, going way back into olden times an April 10th Dana see on Facebook. We love you, Dana. Yeah, we love Dana, and she was the original originator of this concern on Facebook. She says, keep doing what you’re doing. Maybe with less belching Ella. Well, this is from one of your female fence. You do have them so moronic, man. Children are our reaction to this request is like some people like it, But I don’t think anyone’s ever commented that they do. Like no one likes it. Let me. Uh Well, I don’t know. They tolerate any. Think you’re someone like me? Let me think. Here. What’s what’s what was the biggest terrestrial radio show ever? Yeah, but we’re no cowards. No, no, I know, but what was it? Oh, yeah, it was Howard Stern. What did they, uh, what do they do all the time? Still, they’ve done it for 30 years. So I’m not saying I’m not saying they’re wrong, That this is their taste. They don’t enjoy it. And you know what? After after Thea. The other thing is that this is the hill that David is gonna die on. No, it’s not a hill. I’m going to die. And the other thing is, I think I think there, there, there, there may be an aspect to this. That is right. It may it may drive people away, but I mean, the other part is I mean, if you listen to comments, you’re gonna have people telling you you’re a Moran on moronic man child for providing them with a free piece of something that they don’t have to listen to you. I mean, it’s it’s Ah, it’s hard not to get your feelings hurt when you called a moronic man child, when you’re tryingto provide a free service, the people they try to put it in a lot of efforts, your silly, but I think it’s a very valid thing that I think early on it was I was more concerned about. Sounds like drinking Mike mouth sounds and like coughing sure and belching into the microphone. And I think, you know, maybe it’s time that we make an effort to class up the place and not discuss our listeners. We’re gonna put it I’m gonna officially say we’re gonna put a moratorium on belching on horror movie talk way Need to be This is this is a partnership. You can’t just you can’t just make it. You can’t just make e. I need to agree to the people. So if you disagree with this moratorium, you have to reach out on on social media and tell us like we love the belching. Do not stop the belching and you need to do you need to put up like an actual demonstration to show that it’s worth keeping because I don’t think we deserve the the privilege of belching into our listeners ears directly because we’re not quite, I don’t know. We’re really close to the quality of Howard Stern Show, but not quite there. So I think if it’s ah, perfectly rational to put a moratorium on belching on horror movie talk, we need to be more considerate and mature for audience. So now let’s play horror or porno whore porn ing. All right, horror. Porno is a game or a partner is a game where we play clips from horror movies and clips from poor nose, and it’s surprisingly hard to predict where they came from cause there’s lots of squelching sounds, screaming passion, you know, it’s really hard to suss him out. So we played this once on Ready or not, it was a really, really delight again on a chapter two. Do we? Oh, yeah, that was twice, Um anyways, so since I didn’t go to the movie last night, I had an extra $10 that I was expecting to spend on a ticket, so I decided to get a to buy some music for intro music. I feel like it deserves it. That’s a good intro. I got to say, Can we just get the 1st 5 seconds of that one more time? God damn, That’s a funky beat. Slaps fucking slap literally. Uh, so it goes without saying that if you’re if you’re sensitive to uh huh. You know, sexually explicit sounds. Or if you’re don’t have this on headphones, rear work may be May be turned off this one. But how we play leave. No, you have to participate. Um, David, can you keep score? So I will play a clip. And you have to tell me if it’s from a horror movie or a porno, Right? And extra points if you can guess the title of either. Okay, extra points, If you can guess the title. So it cz one point, if you guess correctly on the genre. And then it’s another point if you actually get the Yes, right. Okay, first clip. Are you ready? And Aaron is playing too. Yes. Here we go. Clip one. Wow. Okay, So was that a horror or porno? Erin, I say horror. What makes you say that? The the screaming, the music Yeah, Something hard to me. Okay? I don’t I don’t have a guess. It I don’t want to get any given anything away. David. I’m going to say that did sound an awful lot like a horror movie. But there was There was an inordinate amount of squelching and kind of gagging time. It’s hard it could be. Could be gagging. Could be knifes going into bodies. Yeah, yeah, sure. There’s a lot of it, no matter what. There was definitely some plunging involved. Right. Um, so I’m going to say I think I’m gonna say were is Well, yeah, Okay. I get your rational, but you’re both wrong. That is a porno. That was nightmare on Dik Street. Oh, wow. Um, look, clip number two. That seems unlikely. Okay, David Horror, porno. And once you ration out, I’m really gonna have to go. I think that’s definitely a porno movie. Yeah, that’s a partner. That was that. Sounded like a woman getting hammered. No, it sounded like a woman really, really faking that. She was enjoying hers. I mean, regardless, she was getting hammered. Yeah. I mean, see this. This just shows you how hard this game and that was actually no movie. What? Yeah, that was screamed. That was just a dream. I I honestly can’t say that I remember that part. Well, it isn’t like an opera scene. And sky was I don’t remember. It was Drew Barrymore That was seen how that was. That was Drew Barrymore. Yeah. Okay. All right, celery tied for nothing. Anybody for enough? Anybody’s game we’ve got, we’ve got six, and then a tiebreaker if we need it. But you can aren’t doing that. Great. We’ll see if we can turn it around on clip number three. All right. Horror or porno? Aaron, what do you think? Can you take this seriously for, like, five seconds? That is actually, considering We just saw squirrel that it went such That is such a normal thing for me to hear because you watch a lot of horror movies. That’s a That’s a porn. That’s got to be a porn. Okay, David. Okay, now, now, the first thing that comes to mind is porn on this one for sure, Because like I said, it comes comes to my mind no AA lot, but I e think of Aaron and I keep guessing the same than the known has a chance to pull. Right? So I’m going to go against my better judgment and say, That’s a horror movie. That’s clearly a porno. You think that’s a porno? I I do. I believe I think that same thing. But so do you have a guess on the title? Either one of you on the title for the for that? Yes. So you you’re guessing porno. So do you have a guest for the title? I wouldn’t even pretend. Okay, that I could think of something. Um, I guess that could be the bride of Chucky. Okay. All right. So David gets one point. It is a horror movie. That is from the grudge. There it is. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, that’s I mean, that’s the those Japanese horrors for you. Yeah. Okay. Clip for Aaron. You gotta catch up. I’m doing that to Mrs Move. Relax. Bastard led us here. Wow. All right, horror, porno, I gotta say, is definitely a horror movie. Okay, David, She said it was tearing me apart. I mean, it shows how how hard it is to choose, because I could work even. Wait. There was a lot of male voices there as well. That’s clearly a horror movie. You think that’s a heart? Be for sure. Yeah. Um, I think it may be a horror movie as well. I’m going to say, In fact, I’m gonna hazard a guess. I’m going to say that was Silent Hill. Okay, Aaron, you gotta guess for your title. Uh, no. I don’t know. No more movies. All right, um, you guys air not close. It is a porno. That was from the bear bitch project. The bear bitch product. That just seems unlikely that they’d name a porno. That but, I mean, you know what? That’s actually not true. That poor nose gets a fucking weird names, Okay? This one is an easy one. This is a total. Gimme it. So you don’t If you don’t know what this is and the title of it Like what are you doing? Okay, Theo. I mean, come on. Yeah. Aaron, I Everyone, everyone knows this let you go first on this one because I’m I’m a I’m a co host on a horror movie podcast. So this is gonna be a hole in one for me, and I feel like, Well, this is definitely a horror movie and I’m I’m pretty sure it’s psycho, but I’ve never actually seen it go. You’ve never seen Psycho never see the next one iconic score like I mean, you can hear you can hear it in that. In that clip Ri ri ri It’s, I mean, that’s as big or bigger than Jaws. You know, like the Jaws Dun Dun, Dun Dun That’s even bigger. And I’m gonna also I’m gonna go with air and say, Yeah, this is the second. This has gotta be psycho. This is how for Titch Cox Psycho? You know, it’s kind of play a trick on you guys that that score is using different places, like appeared on Psycho. And it’s also in Re Animator. He noticed that, but yeah, but I still thought you guys were to God. This is like a classic. It’s the classic adaptation of Bram Stoker’s classic ejaculate, that z you’re living that the horror movie. This is a porno. Yeah, that’s like one of the most It’s a support. Yeah, it’s one of most famous Porn O’s and Ejaculate. Yeah, like seventies. I got to see this like Debbie does. Dallas Deep Throat and Ejaculate Dracula right next to that. Have you seen Caligula? Uh, it’s you have, Uh oh, man. Wow. When did you see that? Oh, yeah. Maybe. Maybe it’s the plan, Caligula. I didn’t think about that. But ejaculate, it’s It’s actually if you watch the movie, it’s based on calculate. Wow. Sorry, guys. Real, real close. I mean, come anywhere. Where? Yet? So you still got one? I got one point in Aaron. Every man, I really thought you would have had it on psych. I thought I had it on a psycho. Okay, so, um, I will try one last time. Maybe Aaron can tie it. Okay. Oh, please only believe Thank you. Oh, wait, please. Oh, apologies. So, horror movie or porno? I got to say that it’s This is definitely I feel like I saw this yesterday. This is definitely a porno. You okay? Yeah. I didn’t need that level of Well, okay, so for the sake of because I think I’m finally figuring out this game, huh? Um, I’m going to say it’s a horror or movie. Okay. Do you have a guess? Is the to the title frozen too? Frozen to isn’t a horror movie, but Good guess it is actually a Disney property. It is hocus pocus. Oh, damn. You know, hocus pocus has I mean, that doesn’t surprise me at all. I get a point. Yeah, Yeah. Get a point. Yeah, we’re tied up. So that means we’re tight, So go ahead, Day. But hocus pocus is commonly confused, right? I mean, when you just separate out the audit with you when you have the visual owned, by the way, did anybody else get in on the pre pre order for Disney? Plus, uh, that’s a good segue way hocus pocus gun beyond there. Yeah, and good, maybe. And it comes out, comes out in two days, 70 bucks, 70 bucks gets you your subscription and like and then your grandfather didn’t know that that plants. Oh, hocus pocus. Super hard to tell whether that’s when it’s just audio, But I don’t remember that scene from the movie. I’m gonna have to watch. You have to watch again. Like Sarah Jessica Parker had a lot of interest, and I mean, you know that meddlers. Yeah, she’s a demon in the sack. I mean, uh, okay, so we need a tiebreaker. Luckily, we have this last clip. So clip number seven. Yeah. Lots of encouragements. Yeah, take it. Get it in, Get it in? Yeah, horror movie or porno? Wouldn’t it be weird to like being I mean, assuming, Like I’m sorry. You go ahead and guess it’s a porno. You think that’s a porno? Yeah, I think this is. This is pretty clearly a behind the scenes clip of a horror movie where they’re where they’re like, they’re practicing their lines and they’re getting, you know, they’re they’re they’re getting encouragement from from the other actors and actresses and like the lighting writing that you’re saying You’re saying a horror movie. I’m gonna say a horror movie? Well, no, it’s It’s a horror movie. Wouldn’t be behind the scenes. It has to be like an actual poor or partner. So your assumption doesn’t I just want to give you the benefit, Okay? That election, it’s gonna mean the actual movie. Okay, then I’m going to say this is, um I’m gonna say this is I’m going to say the ring. Um, you are correct that it’s a horror movie. Oh, so you got you got me there, But it’s actually from Poltergeist 20 Yeah. No, I don’t remember. I think still thinking about it. Do you recall which scene it’s the scene where all the ghosts are together and And there? Yeah. Fucking that. That point start. Yeah. No, Now I remember that. Okay, so David pulls ahead. David wins horror. Porno, which I get shouldn’t surprise anyone. He’s an expert at both. And, uh, thank you for playing Aaron, but you can hang your head in shame You did not know how or and or porn I think I never wanna win this game. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, well, that’s our show for today. Thanks for listening. Please share the podcast with a friend. It’s pretty much the only way we can keep growing and bringing ah, higher quality show to you and, you know, take the time and effort that it in the real sacrifice that it tasted to do the research for this show. And remember to get on social media, tell us you love those belches. You know, if you want to stick around, we’re gonna put a moratorium on him. Unless there’s a public outrage about it, we’ll see. I mean, you know, it depends again. Support the podcast by clicking through the button on the banner to Amazon associates were gonna buy anything from their Check out our patri on and check out the different tiers and the exclusive content. You can get shudder. Use HMT at checkout to gets 30 a free trial. Thank you so much to all our listeners and for the feedback, even the negative feedback. We We love it. And it’s important to us to get here. We want to be better. We truly do. We We don’t want to be too salty, and we do want to change for the better. So continue reaching out to us. And thank you so much to our special guest, Aaron Hansen, for coming in and giving a unique perspective on the Shining and teaching us a little knowledge about music history as well. Hearing thank you on that is for movie talk, but by a place out place out with that horror porn. Oh, uh, soundtrack by horror Porn? Yeah.
Doctor Sleep Review
Nov 06, 2019
We saw an early screening of Doctor Sleep, and I was treated to what I believe to be the best horror blockbuster of the year. This is the movie that Brightburn told us it would be. A compelling superhero story with a horror twist. On top of all that high praise, I truly believe that this is a worthy spiritual successor to The Shining, which is one of my all-time favorite movies ever. Doctor Sleep is impressive, serious, and fun.
Doctor Sleep can be found in theaters tomorrow evening and this weekend, and I highly suggest you see it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2msJTFvhkU4
Doctor Sleep Synopsis
Doctor Sleep isn’t so much a sequel to The Shining as it is a continuation of the story of Danny Torrance (Ewan McGregor then Danny Lloyd), from The Shining. It loops in lots of other interesting characters who also shine and does a better job of defining what “the shining” is than Kubrick’s film did.
It follows Danny through some of his childhood immediately following the death of his deranged father, Jack, and it picks up the timeline in 2011 and again in 2019.
This movie uses a parallel plot structure to introduce us to the important players in the story, which weaves together into one cohesive tale that had me fully bought in.
Danny grows up, beats his demons, and settles down into a job where he excels, and then his life gets flipped – turned upside down by a little girl who shines. He eventually takes her under his wing the same way Hallorann took Danny under his.
Doctor Sleep Review
There is a definite “bad guy” in this movie, which I won’t go into until the spoilers section. From what I can tell, the critical response to Doctor Sleep the book was favorable with exception to the bad guy. I can see how it might not translate well on paper but, the baddie in the movie was fabulous and iconic to me.
The sound design was impressive as hell to me. It kept me in the moment and feeling tension the whole way through.
The visuals were well thought out, slow and meticulous. This movie had some very cool panning shots, which I mentioned in our last episode which covered, The Lighthouse.
Heeeere’s Danny!
The characters and storyline were top tier, and the casting was maybe the best I’ve ever seen. They re-enacted scenes from The Shining to a truly impressive degree. The set design was incredible.
Of all the things I was impressed with about Doctor Sleep I think the most telling one is that I don’t feel any resentment at all about it being the sequel to one of the most iconic horror movies of all time. The artistry behind this movie was impressive, and Mike Flanagan clearly held Kubrick’s work in a sacred place.
I love Doctor Sleep because I love great stories. It’s a fabulous story, full of wonder and terror. I love the way Flanagan chose to adapt this story for the big screen.
Doctor Sleep Score
10/10
Spoilers for Doctor Sleep
Click Here to Expand Spoilers
I don’t want to go too far into detail in the spoilers section for Doctor Sleep because I don’t want to do a disservice to the craft of film making that this movie features. Instead I’ll break it down into what I liked and didn’t like about the movie. Be forewarned, this is still spoilers!
The Callbacks to The Shining
There were so many visual callbacks to The Shining hidden in plain sight in Doctor Sleep that I couldn’t keep them all straight. The movie starts with a flying shot similar to the iconic opening shot of The Shining and it also recreates that same opening shot as they approach the Overlook Hotel at the end of Doctor Sleep.
Redrum, so popular these days…
Dr. John Dalton, the man who employed Danny when he got sober, has an office that looks exactly like Ullman’s office in The Shining.
Danny Lloyd, the kid who played the original Danny, has a cameo during the baseball scene.
The first hospital room that Danny walks into when he finds his gift of sending dying people off into death is 217. Room 217 is the room that Timberline Lodge (the location used for panoramic shots of the Overlook Hotel) changed to 237 for the original movie.
All of these and so much more. They recreated so many scenes and so many sets from The Shining, and it all plays so well. I really had a lot of nostalgia while watching Doctor Sleep, and it wasn’t the cheap, easy to create kind – it was the earned kind.
The True Knot is Seriously Messed Up
As far as bad guys go, The True Knot is unassuming and impressive. They look like normal people and act a bit like gypsies, traveling around the country in a caravan of motorhomes and trucks, looking for their next meal.
Rose the Hat
When we learn what The True Knot does to get their next meal, my stomach turned. They find little kids who have the shining, and they brutally torture them with the intent of causing as much pain and suffering as possible. Pain and suffering in those with the shining causes the release of “steam,” which is what The True Knot feeds on. Finally, they kill these children and eat up what’s left of the steam.
The True Knot
There is a scene where they kidnap a small boy and torture him, and it was almost unbearable for me to watch.
The Shining as a Super Power
It was hard to tell exactly what “the shining” was in the original movie. I could tell that there was something about Danny, but it wasn’t fully fleshed out, and it left quite a bit to the imagination. Doctor Sleep doesn’t smack you in the face with a heavy handed description of what the shining is, but it does show you that there are a lot of different flavors of it. It also has enough characters with the shining for you to begin to realize that it’s basically a superpower.
People with an affinity for flowers. People who can make others do whatever they say. People who can read the future. People who can see ghosts. You get it. Just like superheroes, each person shines at different brightnesses. Some have more power, some have less.
At no point was it ever said that this was a superpower movie. It just is. That’s confidence in the product on the part of the studio and the creators, and I like it.
The Sound
There is a deep, bassy heartbeat and some pretty great string music throughout that seems to cover 85% of this movie, and it kept me wrapped up in the cocoon of this story quite nicely.
The Casting
Goddamn! I do mean, WOW! Everyone is so well cast that this movie had no choice but to be great. Ewin McGregor has hints of Jack Nicolson in his face. All the actors they cast to re-shoot the scenes from The Shining were dead-on both in looks and in mannerisms – it was great.
Even the blood was well cast
The Story
I feel like it’s been forever since I saw a story on the big screen that was new (to me) and was also well done. Doctor Sleep kept me enthralled from beginning to end, and I love it for that. I would even go to see this a second time, which almost never happens.
Final Recommendations
If you want much more info on what the Shine is and how it works, Doctor Sleep can help you out. More than that, it’s a fabulous story for the big screen told by a man who really cares about the craft. If you are a fan of either Stephen King’s books or Kubrick’s adaptation, this movie brings you back to the place it all began and puts a fitting cap on it before it sends The Shining off to slumber land.
The Lighthouse Review
Oct 30, 2019
This week we are reviewing Robert Eggers‘ The Lighthouse. It’s a descent into madness that doesn’t hold your hand. The performances of Willem Defoe and Robert Pattinson are worth the price of admission, but everything related to the production design, sound, and script are all of the highest caliber.
Big thanks to Dustin Goebel (@dgoebel00 on instagram) for the original artwork
In his sophomore film, Robert Eggers follows up The Witch with a romcom set in Nova Scotia. Willem Defoe plays an experienced sailor, and Robert Pattinson plays his young and supple protege. In this will they won’t they romantic drama, they fight happiness every step of the way, until it finally wears them down.
Poster for The Lighthouse
Here is the trailer.
https://youtu.be/Hyag7lR8CPA
The Lighthouse Trailer
Synopsis for The Lighthouse (2019)
Actually, The Lighthouse is about two lighthouse keepers, or wickies, that are stationed in a remote lighthouse in New England. Willem Defoe plays Thomas Wake, an elderly salty seaman, and Robert Pattinson plays Ephraim Winslow a young man trying out a new career. As Wake domineers over Winslow, forcing him to do all the hard labor up-keeping the tattered lighthouse, he spends the coveted watch basking naked in the glow of the lamp. Winslow wants some of that sweet naked basking action, and he slowly descend into madness.
Review of The Lighthouse
If you are going into this film expecting another The Witch, you are going to be disappointed. This is a much more surreal and confusing film. However, what this movie does share with Eggers’ first film is a meticulously historically accurate film with a unique and striking visual style. While I might not have liked this film as much as I thought I would, I can’t help but have respect for Eggers’ ambitious artistic vision. Pattinson and Defoe are perfect casting for this film, and they both give amazing performances. There are some really great scenes and monologues in this film. General audiences will probably be turned off by a lot of the choices that were made in terms of narrative and visual style, but film students will be creaming over this movie for years to come.
Is this a horror movie? Kind of. It has enough horror elements to qualify it way more than a movie like Happy Death Day 2U. Most of the focus is on the tension between the two main characters, and the mental instability caused by seclusion and alcoholism. That being said, there are Lovecraftian and folkloric horror elements.
Visual Style
The most striking aspect of the visuals of the film is it’s aspect. RATIO, that is. It is shot in 1.19:1 aspect ratio, which is basically square. It evokes a kind of claustrophobia and intimacy that is rare in a theatrical experience.
This is not to say that we are unfamiliar with this framing in modern times. Instagram, is one of the most popular social media platforms for digesting imagery.
It was shot on 35mm black and white Double-X 5222 film using a Panavision Millennium XL2 camera with vintage Baltar lenses from the early 20th century.
The film stock required a much brighter light source to get exposure, so they had to use about 15 to 20 times more light on set to actually see anything on film. Because of this, the crew would often wear sunglasses.
Sound Design
The sound design on this film is great. Along with the anachronistic visual style, the sound on this film is mixed in mono. This doesn’t hinder the film in any noticable manner.
The music by Mark Korven stays out of the way, and mostly features wind instruments in an aleatoric style.
The one sound that will stick with you is the sound of the foghorn. According to IMDB trivia, Damian Volpe, the sound designer on the film, consulted with J.J. Jamieson, a YouTuber that does tutorials on operating and maintaining foghorns. They made recordings of a period-accurate foghorn that Volpe then manipulated to create a foghorn sound that was uniquely ominous.
https://youtu.be/iHCmzvzCmhI
This Youtuber was a consultant on The Lighthouse.
Production Design
The production design on The Lighthouse was very impressive. The look of the film was historically accurate to the 1890s. They even built a full-sized working lighthouse in Nova Scotia for the film, They consulted with a historical lighthouse lens manufacturer to build a period appropriate lens.
The full-sized, working lighthouse built for the production.
The interiors were shot on a sound stage, but looked they looked like they were right there next to the ocean.
The real star of the show was the weather. Eggers stated that a lot of the more dramatic shots of weather were real.
The Acting
The acting was superb by both leads. Willem Defoe was born to play a crusty ex-sailor lighthouse keeper. He plays with the appropriate gravitas and vulnerability that was demanded by the script.
Pattinson really shines here. This might be a career defining role for him. He has come a long way since Twilight and is hitting it out of the park in his latest roles. Pattinson plays Winslow perfectly in the beginning of the film as an empathy inducing protagonist opposite the overbearing Wake. But slowly and with much skill, he is able to show Winslows slow descent into madness and reveal many new colors within the character by the end of the film.
Our Score
8/10
Spoilers for The Lighthouse
Click to expand for spoilers…
Farts
This movie features a lot of farts. early and often. I really felt for poor Winslow, since I can empathize sitting across from a flatulator in a confined space.
There are a lot of confusing elements in this film by design. It’s hard to say whether some elements of the story are spoilers or not, given they are so open to interpretation.
Naked Lighthouse Keeping
One element of the story is that Winslow is very interested in usurping Wake in the coveted night watch in the lens room.
Winslow peeps on Wake at different times throughout the movie. Early on he sees Wake naked and drunk at the top of the tower. Wake is seemingly in love, or at the very least, enchanted with the lighthouse light.
Later Winslow is able to catch glimpses of Wake in the tower possibly having sex with a tentacled monster.
Bad Luck to Kill a Seabird
When Winslow complains about a meddling seagull, Wake informs him that “It’s bad luck to kill a seabird”.
Winslow doesn’t take Wake’s advice and is later shown violently killing the one-eyed seagull that keeps seemingly mocking him.
After the death of the bird, things do not go well for the pair. The wind changes and the boat that was supposed to relieve them couldn’t make landfall because of the poor weather. Winslow slowly goes crazy and the lighthouse itself starts coming apart at the seams.
One interpretation is that Winslow brought a curse upon himself by killing the seagull. However, it is just as likely that his hallucinations and violence are caused by his alcoholism. The change in their fates also coincided with Winslow starting to drink (immediately to excess).
It’s up for the audience to decide.
The Ending of The Lighthouse Explained
Winslow reveals to Wake that his real name is also Thomas and that he is responsible for the death of a lumberman that he used to work with. Winslow’s murderous side is revealed at the end of the movie when he violently attacks Wake and buries him alive.
He finally ascends the lighthouse tower to see what all the fuss is about. When we looks into the light, he is blinded and falls to his death on the rocks below. The final shot of the movie shows Winslow on the rocks with his entrails being eaten by seagulls.
Eggers has stated in interviews that the death was an allusion to the myth of Prometheus, the god that defied the other gods to give men light, and was condemned to live eternity tied to a rock and have an eagle eat his liver everyday.
Final Recommendations for The Lighthouse
This film is highly recommended, but if you are allergic to art-house film, you might need an Epi-pen. A lot of people are going to interpret a lot of the choices in this film as pretension, but it is undeniably a well crafted film with interesting and compelling characters. You definitely won’t find another film like this one in recent history.
Horror Movie Talk Pumpkin Carving Contest Entries
Brad B’s “Mario Mushroom” on the leftJarred B. Wins the Grand Prize! (@jbpumpkins on Insta)Garrett (left) and Kaitlin (right) D.Tina D. Ties for Second PlaceXavier D.Stephen R.Jessica C. Ties for Second PlaceMagnus K.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 69: The Lighthouse Review Transcript
Click to expand for the full transcript of the episode.
This episode Brought to you by Crazy Tom’s Beard Oil. With so many trendy hipsters with beards, it’s getting harder and harder for a hobo like yourself to show people that you’re not to be fucked with. Well, with crazy Thomas Beard Oil you can keep. Your beard is disheveled as 17th century sailors taint. When people see your beard with crazy times beard oil, they’ll cross to the other side of the street before they can even hear you talk about the voices. That’s crazy. Tom’s beard Oil available wherever. Two. Buck, Chuck Isolde Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny horror movie review Show your panel of experts. Hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hanson, who holds a phD in spookology, and Professor David Day, the foremost expert on scare No-nos. New theatrical releases get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and horrible. I’m break dancing. Hey, I’m David. Who are you going? Okay, David Day, David Day. Not to be mistaken for, um, little play or big say more David Gay Professor David D ad junk. I should say adjunct Professor David Day because you work professionally outside of the university. In scare. No nose, right? Yeah, I have. I’d like to, um I’d like to showcase a little bit of my super sexy voice. All right, this is for uncomfortable. So thank you for listening into horror movie talk. If your first time listener just want to tell you a couple things to get you integrated into the cult of Holder movie talk, go to our website at horror movie talk dot com. There’s three words in there that are very easy to remember because you like horror movies and we’re talking about him and there you’ll find links to all our social media were on pretty much everything. I mean, we’re even on tic tac, and we have no business being on tic tac. No, I mean well, as voyeurs. I mean, uh, God damn look at those hot children that would really prefer what What I’ve learned from tic tac. What I’ve learned, what that social media is mainly for is for theater kids that are underage, marching in place. That’s accurate. That’s sorry. A very attractive underage theater. Kids marching in place. That’s like 90% of tic tac, right? But I mean, you’re like, you’re like some some kind of like golden God, if you’re, like, older than 28 also very attractive. Yeah, it’s like a mim to be even in your 30. If you’re in your thirties on tic tac, they’ll call you a boomer. Yeah, it’s just anyway, so I check off the rails. Um, God damn, it’s hot, children. We post it every post every Wednesday, um, in the morning. So subscribe to the podcast if you like what you hear and also whether you like it or not, please leave us our rating on iTunes if you use an iPhone, and if you have any friends or relatives or stranger on the street, that has left their phone unattended, open up their apple podcasts and leave us a star rating because you don’t even have to write a review. Just star rating is not what we want. Price. I’ve been thinking about it. We really need to start appealing to listeners who run a back alley phone Resale racket. Yes, like like a like a pick pocketing racket. So, like, you know, like around the Eiffel Tower, there’s just people who just going to swipe your phone constantly. If we could get in touch with those people and just maybe sort of set up some sort of, uh, some sort of amicable thing that they give us reviews and we give them shekels. What are they looking for? Yeah, Frank’s little miniature Eiffel Towers T cell. All right, I know this madness. We’ve got a great show today. This is what happens when two men are left alone in a room for too long together. Yes. Today we’re gonna be talking about the lighthouse. We’ll start out by giving a brief review and our score for the film. We score on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being a miserable dredge when it makes you angry that you just watched it. Five being a perfectly average film that hits all the expected marks on 10. Being so good at transcends yonder bandage. I mean, you all know what one through 10 mean. After we give our score, we go into a deeper dive into what we liked and hated about the film and talk about spoilers. And then, later on, we will be doing a couple bits. Number one perennial favorite tag lines where we come up with alternate taglines for the film and then drum roll. We’re gonna announce the winner of our pumpkin carving contests are super super popular pumpkin carving. Actually, it turned out to be like there was a lot of last minute under the wire submission. Yeah, it was like the last day people were like, Fuck this shit I’m in, like, yeah, yeah, and actually, I’m gonna I’m leaving this leaving it on. I haven’t turned it up. So if within the next 20 minutes, as we’re recording not that everyone knows that we are, if someone submits, will will include them. And, I mean, it’s not so popular that we can’t review Every single pumpkin was on air, was it? Was it like, 10 or 11 pumpkin. Some, like there was 99 pumpkin, nine pumpkins. But some really impressive. Yeah. They range the gamut from total absolute abject shit to the most amazing pumpkins I’ve ever seen. So within nine is apparently that’s That’s the amount you need right to. That is a decent sample size to get a winner, right? So again, we went to the lighthouse and it was a descent into madness. Truly a descent into madness. Here is the trailer. Oh, take me. What’s a timber man want with being a wicky? Just looking around living. It’s like any man starting new on the way secrets, you know? Wait, How long have we been on this rock point? Weeks. Two days? Let me recollect. Man, That foghorn sounds like a kaiju. What, like a Godzilla type monster? Oh, yeah, it sure does. Yeah. You know, just before we go on, I am gonna have to apologize for my voice. I, uh I’m ill now. It sounds great. Sounds rough. And Hey, baby, humble rough and or tumble. Tell us about the lighthouse price. The lighthouse is in theaters right now. I’m pretty excited to talk about this movie. Yeah, this this one is a very interesting movie to talk about. Yeah, um it’s very specifically that Yeah, like that’s what this movie was made for. It is definitely a film student film. Yeah, and I mean film student in that film, students for a long time, we’re gonna be talking about this film. Oh, my God. There’s just me so many wet panties in that. So, in a sophomore film, Robert Eggers follows up The Witch with a romcom sent in Nova Scotia. William Dafoe plays an experienced sailor, and Robert Pattinson plays his young, simple protege in this Will they won’t they? Romantic drama. They fight happiness every step of the way until it finally wears them down. Finally wears them down. I spat out my teeth. Actually, the lighthouse is about to lighthouse keepers or weak ese that are stationed in remote Lighthouse. In New England, Willem Dafoe plays Thomas Wake, an elderly, salty seamen. And Robert Pattinson plays E from Winslow, a young man trying out a new career as Wake Domine ears over Winslow, forcing him to do all the hard labour of upkeep for the tattered lighthouse. He spends the coveted watch at night, basking naked in the warm glow of the lamp. Literal, yeah, basking naked. Yeah, that’s don’t worry about it. Winslow wants some of that sweet, naked, basking action, and he slowly descent into madness. So I’m glad you had fun with this. If you’re going into this film expecting another the witch, you’re going to be disappointed, Um, but disappointed that it’s not the same type of film and the witch it’s you know you won’t necessarily be disappointed in the film. No, but ifit’s a particular type of film, and it’s gonna turn off a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Yeah, for a lot of reasons in, You know, I said to you yesterday, and this holds true is you gotta like before we record You just gotta, like, scream and lose your voice because you sound just really radio right now. Beautiful. Yeah. Um, So I was disappointed that this movie wasn’t what I wanted it to be, which was another like, slow build tension horror movie. It’s not that it’s not, Ah, horror movie, and it just have slow build. Tension does have a lot attention, but it’s a different kind, right? And it’s about a different, totally different. The the build is into madness instead of into terror, right, which is a a terror in and of itself a little bit, but it is kind of specific, right, and it’s a great movie. It’s just not the same movie at all, right. This is a much more surreal and confusing film than the which, however, what this movie does share with Eggers, his first film is a meticulous, historically accurate film with a unique and striking visual style. Yeah, well, while I might not have loved this film as much as I thought I would I can’t help but have respect for Eggers is ambitious artistic vision. Um And then the other main thing is Pattinson and foe are amazing. I can’t I cannot I cannot believe how good patents in this. Yeah, they was. First of all, it’s perfect casting for both of them. Yeah, absolutely different. Defoe is obviously, like, so perfect for at this point, he’s like a perfectly ripe fruit. He’s just got he just got it down for acting. Yeah, but Pattinson blew me away. Like I was like, Oh, the guy from fucking twilight. Okay. Yeah, all right. But in particular I mean, William Dafoe. Willem Dafoe is a fantastic actor, and he couldn’t be great in anything but in particular this type of role. Oh, yeah, he is so good at I believe he’s that guy. Um they both give amazing performances. There are some really great scenes and monologues in here. General audiences are probably going to be turned off by a lot of the choices that are made in terms of narrated in terms of narrative and visual style. But film students will be creaming over this movie for years to come. I mean, it is just fascinating. And I mean, that’s what the takeaway from listening to our e aster and Robert Eggers in that a 24 podcast. The episode. They’re both huge film nerds like You just really like deep dives into history of filmmaking and, you know, lenses, 100 Eggers shots and stuff. So it comes out in this movie you can really tell in this movie. Well, almost to the point where it’s a little bit like yeah, okay, guy looking to shoot in 11 like, Yeah, I mean, it’s It’s a little that’s a little so that shooting in a 11 ratio makes it almost like on the surface. Do she? Yeah. I mean, it’s it would be very easy, And I’m sure there’s gonna be plenty of people in our horror or just General Egg. And general audiences are gonna look at this and be like, Well, this guy’s a huge, pretentious douche, right? Like this is just but also it is insulting to my sensibility. If he is that he’s way better at it than anybody else. Oh, yeah? Yeah, you know, kind of Shut up. Yes. I mean, it’s still a great movie. Is this a horror movie? Kind of. It has enough horror elements to qualify. Um, it’s way more of a horror movie than Happy Death Day to you. Oh, my God. Ah, But most of the focus is on the tension between the two main characters and the mental instability caused by seclusion and alcoholism. That being said, there are definitely some Lovecraft ian and folkloric or elements in here. So I kind of struggled with a score for this because I can recognize that it is a great, great film, but also, it’s not completely for me, right? I was There was some really great moments that I really enjoyed, but I don’t know if I’m going to be revisiting this film very much. And I know I laughed several parts and wince like it was very effective. Oh, yeah, and really beautiful. Um, but I can’t give it a 10 out of 10 like I did the witch e. I think the which is just a perfect movie. And this one I don’t know. I mean, it’s It’s just It’s so subjective. It’s a preference thing, but I give it a eight out of 10. Yeah, so I, too, have been thinking about this score. Excuse me for a while now, and Ah, and I seem to be hovering around a 72 and nine. And I know what you’re talking about. Like with the witch. Um, there’s nothing. There’s no fat on the bone. It all it’s all it’s all very wait well laid out. It’s all very intentional. But the problem is, the subject matter of this is losing your mind and so happy. And so there is a lot of nefarious, weird, extraneous baloney, right? That adds to that in ways that well, that could’ve been cut out. But could it right? Like Okay, well, now I get to see Willem Defoe kind of humping his bed in a in a in a in a take. This isn’t the spoiler section sleeping in a peeping tom sort of way. Is that necessary? Well, no. But also yes, because like, this is about two men going mad together, right? And ah, and so I think I think in If you ask me in eight months the same way. If you ask me in eight months about the house that Jack built, I think I’ll like this movie a lot more. Yeah, yeah, and it’s a good point in so because Because my expectations will have been tempered and I won’t I won’t expect another which I will have gone. Oh, that’s a movie about losing your mind. And it’s perfect at that. Yeah, and so I don’t know. I think I think I fall between eight and nine. Something like that. I’m not crazy ecstatic about it. Yeah, and that’s a taste thing, But it’s a It’s a great movie, so you gotta choose. Is it eight or nine? That’s I mean right now as as it as it stands, I’d say it’s a high eight. Okay, Yeah, see? I mean, I originally was going to give it a seven, and then I stood back and I was like Huh, It’s too good to be a seven iss. It really is that the quality of the of the craft is so impressive. Acting alone makes is so is so great yet that it has for me, it’s just Oh my God like it was so, so brilliant watching the chemistry between the phone patents and like, yeah, I mean, it’s enchanting. Yeah, it was. It was it. And it’ll stick with you in a weird sort of salty breeze kind of way. Yeah, so that’s our score. Before we get into spoilers, let’s talk about some business items. This is what we call our mid roll section. Please check out our patri on if your ah, long time listener or if you’re starting to get into the show and like it, support us directly by going to our patron, you’ll get access to special patron bonus content. 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Yeah, so yeah, again. Thanks for listening. Let’s get into school. Boilers, boilers, Spoilers. Okay, so this is a movie that you don’t necessarily have to talk about all the beats of it of the film because I still don’t really know what went on through a lot of it. There’s a couple things to hit in terms of plot, but really, I wanted to talk about it’s some of the It would be annoying in the extreme to hit it be by being Yeah, so just want to talk about some of the elements that stood out and that were really great and unique about this film. Um, first of all, the visual style is really striking right off the bat. It’s you really hard if they start out on a ship in the fog. And it’s just this gray screen with this haunting like you like he said, Like Kaiju esque, um moaning, foghorn in the distance. That’s just that kind of shakes the whole theater. Yeah, well, that would be sound. Um, but we’re talking about visual style. Oh, my apologies. Sorry. Put you on blast. So first thing that you notice is ah, the aspect ratio is 1.19 by one, which is basically square. Yeah, it looks like an instagram frame. And it’s one of those things that and it’s in black and white. So black and white square aspect ratio And even I knowing Eggers and that this is gonna be a super artistic film. And I think I even heard that the aspect ratio was gonna be that. But even I was expecting after the intro to be like and now it widens out in tow. Widescreen. It’s like, No, no, you The full time is that aspect ratio super confined and claustrophobic, which actually works really good for the subject matter. Yeah, and the and there are not a lot of any time you’re with a person in this movie, you’re close to them. It the framing is Cloris. It’s lots of close ups. Yeah, and I mean putting it in that aspect ratio is really interesting in terms of the balance of the conflict, the framing of it, of the shots. I don’t know, it’s it just has a really unique style is really evocative, Um, showing stuff in such unequal framing. You know that the one thing that does bother me about like Ma modern movie trends is this is and it’s inescapable at this point, it seems like because even the lighthouse is doing it, which is these cut These jump cut edits where you just cut back and forth between two people talking instead of having a full frame of them talking. And I understand the reasoning behind it in this moving. But in movies like Transformers or something like that, work just any blockbuster movie where you constantly have to be looking directly at the face of the person who is talking to the other person, who then it jumps to and it it cuts up the movie in this weird, like if you go back and watch Hitchcock or if you go back and watch movies from from the forties or fifties that you get these long panning shots that are that are granted, they’re probably much, much harder to capture in terms of acting, because you can just have a take. You have to have people act against each other very, very in a very convincing way, and it doesn’t lend itself to the cutting room floor very well. But I would like to see a movie that doesn’t that has these long panning shots. Yeah, it feels like older movies definitely used the two and three shot a lot more and put put people in the you know, what would he call that? They stage it a lot better toe, but it’s also the films of those older generations are also much more closely related to stage, and so they’re used to blocking for Stage two, where you know people are frame to sir, they’re they’re facing a certain way. It’s where it’s all very convenient to see him at the same spot, right, But it’s But for the viewer, it’s a continuity thing. It’s a little bit disorienting. It’s I didn’t notice that in this in this movie I mean, there’s a lot of jump cuts and stuff that that air a little giant on purpose. But I didn’t know specifically that, Um, I mean, it’s something that I watch for just because my uncle well will literally not watch anything past a certain year because he’s like It’s too. He noted that he said, he’s basically it’s just just too jarring for me and I don’t I don’t appreciate the craft as much as I do. And so now I have an eye out for it. And, ah, that’s interesting. And he’s right, you know it is. It is choppy. But anyway, so the look of this film is also affected by the technology used. They used some really, really old technology. Older lenses, older cameras really film, nerdy stuff, older film stock. The film stock was I’m not a nerd enough to actually say what the film they used was. But what I did find out about it is that it requires really high exposure, like you have to have said something like they had the light it like 20 times brighter than normal. Thio, get stuff visual, you know. So apparently, even though this film feels really dark, really 10 through a lot of it, apparently, like the thing the Via Crew would have to wear like sunglasses a lot of the time because it was so brightly lit. That’s crazy. Um, and this all gives the effect that this film is plucked out of time. Yeah, it’s there’s a shot early on of Dafoe and patents and basically looking in the frame as they’re approaching the lighthouse or their know they’re looking at the at the boat sail away beginning and it literally looks like an old West photo or like a World war documentary shot, just like Okay, guys, stand here. I just wanna I just want to get a shot of E. And it looks like two grizzled war veterans that are like, what? I got to stand here and do this shit money I got. I gotta feed them hogs, you know, like it’s the so I mean, there’s a lot of that element that all this visual style really evokes. Yeah, and as in right following that as the boat as they’re watching the boat slip away into the fog. It feels like a miniature Feels like they’re using a miniature boat. Then they Maybe because it slips off into like this What feels like a miniature set? Yeah, and missed. It kind of just disappears into the mist. Um, okay, let’s Now, let’s talk about the sound design of the movie, which is also fantastic. Um, like you said, What were you gonna say about the foghorn? Oh, it was just It was rattling. And it was, you know, it was, um Yeah. Okay, so if you’re going to if you’re going to live on top of the foghorn and there’s fog around, it’s going to be pervasive to the extreme. I mean, the sound is just going to be all encompassing. And it felt that way in the theater. It felt it felt like, uh, oppressive. It was this, um Oh, it was like a war siren and it Ah, it was loud and deep and long and it didn’t stop. It felt it felt a little Tetsuo the Iron Man e at the start of this movie, when he’s like in the, uh, in the coal room, you know? Yeah. And the result this machinery around him. It felt very claustrophobic and loud. Yeah, so the that sound. They used recordings of period accurate foghorns. Apparently, the sound designer on this film went to this guy on YouTube that makes YouTube videos, of course, maintaining foghorn landlord about period foghorns. I think I’ve actually seen some of the videos which are really soothing, like it just shows him, like oiling and maintaining these old foghorns, and you see it winding up and slowly, like the machinery’s like taking away, and then it slowly winds up. Ah, you know, it’s really cool anyway, So they took the, like, the period accurate foghorn sounds, and they manipulated them to be more ominous, memorable and unique to the film. It really is a unique sound and very like menacing. Yeah, and the in the sound of the ocean. And the weather is always in the background and always, always kind of washing over you and the music is there, but it’s pretty sparse. It doesn’t get in the way. Um, Eggers talked about just what he wanted with the film. He didn’t want a lot of strings. He didn’t want a lot of, um, you know, orchestrations a lot of wins, Um, mentioned like Alia torque music, which is kind of random chance music chanting No chance. What’s chance? Like roll of the dice Chance I don’t I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Probability. Oh, chance. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, So I thought you were saying C h a N t s. And like explaining that dice were an instrument. Bryce, are you insane? The production design? Same. Same with, uh, his previous movie, the which is really impressive. Yeah, just period accurate. They look fantastic. They built an actual life sized working lighthouse from scratch in Nova Scotia. Are you serious? Yeah. So they didn’t They didn’t build all the interiors and stuff, but the the exterior, it was all built up life size, but it is working because they had a period appropriate lighthouse lens created for the film. It’s like, Wow, that’s really cool. And when Robert Eggers talks about the budget is like, yeah, I mean, it was kind of a moderate budget, but I can’t even sometimes I’m I just have to stand back and realize and filmmaking. It’s really expensive. Can you imagine just going to a period lighthouse Lens creator being like, this is the specific dimensions and this is what we’re going for. And they’re like, OK, yeah, well, well, that guy goes home to his wife and he’s like, So well, Ah, film studio approached me and asked me to craft them 1\/2 $1,000,000 light house deal. So, yeah, they really built it. You know, it’s built out of, like, plywood and and apparently, like some kind of printed tarp or whatever, but it looked great. Apparently, the the town in Nova Scotia that could see the lighthouse really wanted to keep it because it looked so cool. But it was gonna fall apart anyway, so they had to tear it down. That’s crazy. Yeah, And then they’re the interiors, though, were shot on a soundstage. A lot of the weather was just practical, like, I mean, not not practical. It was like, literally, that was the weather that was there. I think some of the more extreme ones, like when the wind and rain blows through the wall, you know? Yeah, like, basically destroys the room. That’s probably done on a sound stage. But the exteriors, I don’t think they had to pump in rain. That was really happening. The ocean. I’m sure they were able to shoot the ocean. I was a harsh mistress. Eso it just looks really great. Feel there’s a lot of care and attention given to the look of this film and also speaking of period, appropriate all the dialogue, just like the which was taken from period sources taken from Melville. And it was the other author, another like sailor author and then, like a, I think a nonfiction er or someone like taking interviews from sailors back then and so there’s a lot of words that you’re not used to like Wiki. It would. It would definitely help. Um, this movie, I think, if particularly if Dafoe was subtitled, yeah, because he I mean, he goes hard on on being like, Accurate and e. I mean, he accomplishes like, you know, that old Irishman sound where you’re just like, What the fuck did you say is I like you brought from front and he’s like, is like, It’s like, God damn, I can’t understand a fucking word that you’re saying for a friend. Yeah. I mean, it’s not so bad that you won’t completely understand them and a lot of that old sailor talk like you’ve seen from, you know, parodies of sailors from from that time. Um, but definitely a lot of words that you’re not used to, and a lot of phrases that feel very, you know, real to the time period. So the acting is the standout part. I mean, that’s That’s the one thing like the look and the production and the sound are all amazing. But all of that is completely eclipsed by the performances of the phone. Pattinson. Yeah, it’s and Defoe has I mean he Okay, so obviously the foe is one of those guys who every time you see Amigo, that’s Willem Dafoe. At this point, I kind of like Steve Buscemi or his voice is really distinctive. And his voice is really he’s got. He’s able to have a lot of different colors in his voice, but definitely like the low growl is like his. His a wheelhouse. Yeah, and and so with that being said, it’s as a super recognizable actor I am that makes your job a lot harder, in my opinion, because now you gotta fade into into your character and it’s it’s all it’s made all the more difficult by the fact that everybody knows what you look and sound like. And they go, that’s who you are. But But he did it, man. He disappeared into this role. He is in this. He’s a stinky old, salty bastard who is just ah, his only love is the sea. And, um, man, just a just a fabulous performance. Yeah, I mean, he’s fantastic. And you would expect, like, Okay, this is perfect for Willem Dafoe, and he’s gonna just rocket. And then you kind of expect Lee. I mean, I haven’t seen Robert patents, and I’m a lot of movies. No, I know he’s a better actor than to The Twilight Series would give you the impression, but he was really amazing. Crushed it like, really, he is the He is leading the movie with his performance, a lot of rain. She’s starts out. The film is a really quiet spoken character and really elicits a lot of empathy from the viewer. You’re like, Oh, man, this poor guy like it’s has to deal with this old crusty sailor and it’s kind of unjust, and you’re really, like getting behind him like, yeah, I’m like I’m on board with with, um What’s his name? Uh, went Winslow Elias. Elijah? No. Uh, l l m Allen from e from Winslow, Calum. And ah. And then he just slowly kind of kind of loses you devolves into evolves into, like, to where it’s like, Well, wait a minute. He’s kind of He’s kind of being selfish here is kind of being childish about this. Maybe is not as mature. Yeah, he’s a person now and then. And then it goes into like, Oh, well, that’s Oh, this this guy is making some real bad choices. Yeah, and, ah, it goes real hard into the paint. Yeah, he devolves into a flawed person instead of, you know, basically a ah ah, beating a whipping boy Lots of moments in between. Between ah, being a really empathetic character and and protagonist to like, Oh, this guy’s the villain. Kind of Yeah, yeah, but is he like that’s that’s That’s the coolest part of this movie, is is the movie is essentially gas lighting the audience right? Um, the whole time and I love it. I love that. If it does it, it manages to to mess with you the whole way through and make you question everything that’s going on. Yeah, and it’s not. See, it’s not as obvious as a movie like Memento or right or ah, what’s the other one? That this movie is a lot like What’s that? Leo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese Island Shutter Island? Um, like they’re more obvious ways to, like right to trick the viewer and to show like, Hey, this isn’t what you thought it was right? And this is much more plane with colors like that that that was one thing that I wrote down that even those is a black and white film. This is a very it deals with colors in terms of thematic material and just the the subject matter and how it’s house approached. It’s like a lot of different. Well, it does. It does what I prefer a movie like this does instead of instead of Okay. So it was a great example that you bring up Memento or Shutter Island. So these these movies have truths at the end of them, right? They have absolute truths that they go. No, here’s the answer here. Here’s what actually is really going on, and this movie does not do that, it leaves it fairly. La Billy. It’s like I Which part of that was actually which part of that was actually riel? There are parts that you can pretty easily deduce. That’s probably was him going mad. But there’s plenty of spots where it’s like I don’t I don’t I still don’t know, like, and he leaves it to you to just be like, This is madness, man. Yeah, you’re going. You’re descending with them. It really feels. Feels like an experience. Yeah, days. So the the uncertainty brought in is okay. How much of this is alcoholism vs insanity or what’s the interplay between that? How much of the events are actually supernatural vs, like, hallucinations and madness? Yeah, like that’s names Li like, how much of it is a dream? Yeah, And how much of it is? Is Winslow going mad versus wake fucking with him, right? Like it’s all and you’re never liked all that stuff you’re never given. Never get really straight answer. And like the whole time is it seems as though Wake is a puppeteer and is and is trying to drive this this boy mad. But he’s pretty crazy. Yeah, it comes down to its an unreliable narrator is It’s very much like American Psycho is that you don’t It’s never tipped off whether it’s really eso eso the stuff that happens where Wake says something that completely contradicts what you just saw. Just out with your eyes. And he’s saying, Like So for example, there’s a great scene. Very Ah, the shining esque Uh, you know, actually, this movie, uh, I didn’t write it down, but this movie is a lot like the shining. Yeah, you’re absolutely right. The the actual like book storyline of it cause the Shining is all about alcoholism. Yeah, like the actual source material. And that’s not as clear in the Kubrick movie to me upon first viewing, but it’s really about isolation and alcoholism. And that’s this movie. Yeah, it’s absolutely and ah, so it has this great scene where we see Pattinson chasing after Defoe. No, we see Defoe chasing after Pattinson with an axe like a literal axe murderer in Chase, and they get back to the interior of the lighthouse and they’re talking about it and then wake our Defoe tells Pattinson, was like, you’re going crazy. You just chase me down with an axe. Yeah, and you’re like, Well, wait, the flat the fuck. So So you have your left a question? Did what I see is that not what actually happened was that in Winslow’s head four is wake fucking with Winslow by telling them something opposite happened. And since he’s drunk, he can’t tell the difference. There’s an added element of of the audience being fucked with Yulia. Whoa! Very disorienting. Yeah, it’s disorienting in. You’re just just messing with your head because you go Wait, What? That’s no, wait. What rank and then is such an unreliable narrator because they’re both pretty drunk. I mean, Wake is less drunker towards the 2nd 3rd of the movie like so it’s It’s like, Ah, if it’s through the eyes of Winslow, it’s not reliable. But also if through the eyes awake, it’s not reliable either. You don’t know Wake is lying. Winslow is maybe going crazy. Yeah, Or maybe it is. Maybe he’s not lying for me. He’s not lying. Maybe Winslow is just misinterpreting it, or it’s through his crazy hallucination or something. So you have lots of uncertainty in this one. Um, we went and saw this with Kevin. Um, Kevin wasn’t able to make it to their recording today. I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to make it. I hope he does. Does the audience know who Kevin is? We’ve talked about Kevin once or twice before. Kevin is Ah, long time friend of mine since first grade. Yeah. Um, and he’s we nerd out about film all the time, But he sent me a couple e mails followed up with last night, and I wanted to read some of his comments. Um, first of all, he says on a theme, Hold that one for later. Hey, says, by the way, Thomas Wake is such a fucking fantastic name for an old salty lighthouse keeper, Which is true, Kevin really nerds out of names. And if you ever want to come up with a name for a character in a movie, Kevin, like, is great at coming up with the ridiculous names. Okay, Um, just f y i and he says and again Robert Pattinson. I don’t know if you’re planning on talking about this on the podcast, but I would personally dedicate a whole segment in it. The guy was so stiff in the Twilight Films that he resembled Frankenstein’s monster trying to portray Dracula and has been reeling off one amazing performance after another. As of late, I never saw it coming. Yeah, he’s really impressive in this. Yeah, it’s hard. Okay, so, like, this is such a weird thing. Like it’s so snobby to toe Look at an actor and okay, so my my reaction is there could be good good actors in in what I call Twilight, but there are. But also I don’t like. I particularly don’t like Kristen Stewart. Uh, I think she’s bad. And so I just now there’s this thing that my mind does where it’s like, Oh, you’re associated with Kristen Stewart. Sorry and and and Twilight is hit with, like a triple dose of that right. It’s also a twilight, and there’s Kristen Stewart, and you play it super stiff and your heartthrob like it’s just too much. It’s too much for you to be good in my eyes, and then you come out and you do like an amazing job, and I’m like you’ve overcome my bar when surpassed it. So much so that now I have to stand back and go boy. I’m kind of a dick. Yeah, and also, it turns it into Okay, well, now I got to see what else he’s in, right. Um, it’s interesting the transition of teenage heartthrobs, especially the male version of it, that they It’s hard for them to overcome that I’m sure it’s harder for for women to overcome that. But really, if you think about like Zac Effron or Robert Pattinson, they’re both actually really great actors, like they’re they’re able to give really great performances, but they have to overcome a lot of that like womb. And we’ll leave. Do I get to see his and and for good reason to Zac Effron is a fucking looker. You have a person. Why would I would fuck That is stunning to look at, right? It’s and I mean, there’s no way. If if I were to cash Zac Effron in a in 1\/17 century period piece, I’d have him take a shirt off at some point. Probably his pants, too, because Jesus, front on that on that note, like even Robert Pattinson to Robert Pattinson or, um uh, McConaughey like he’s he’s so yeah, he’s so like colored by his abs. Yeah, and not wearing a shirt that you don’t realize that he’s a fantastic actor. Yeah, all all of them Stunt, like in Pattinson in this lake. Thank God they had him take off his shirt because at some point he took off his shirt like Jesus Christ, that man is chiseled. Oh, man. Well, yeah. Apparently they’re gonna show a lot more of Robert Pence and Root. I heard that there was a shot in the film that was cut. Um was demanded to be cut by the film studio. I think Robert Eggers wanted to have a shot of the lighthouse, um, emulating an erect Penis and then flash cut to an actual erect Penis. Oh, um, owned by stunt Robert Robert Pattinson’s character. So I don’t I don’t know. If it were, that will bring out the stunt cock. I mean, that’s that’s a real tragedy. If it was actually Robert Pattinson’s Kaka that we that we aren’t allowed to see here. Well, that just means you gotta wait for the blue ray. Um hey, you know, ball Ray, I would really like to talk about the smell in this movie star. One of the parts. One of the main element to this movie is the farts. This is great. Um mm. Yeah. Willem Dafoe. Basically, our introduction to him as the characters is him. Pass, pass, pass, pass theme Really big rips it. Sze pervasive and it works Every time I laughed probably every time every day because it is just a old man type. I don’t give a fuck farting and you just see patents and reaction to it. And, you know, I really felt I felt very akin to to that man because it’s basically like what I experienced every day in a podcast. You recording? Yeah. Realizing you’re stuck with a fart er is a hard thing to come to turn through. It’s like, Oh, this guy just doesn’t do my wife my poor wife, like last night and the night before, even like Like, you take a walk out of out of our bedroom in the morning, you know, for five minutes and then come back in and it’s like, Oh, my God, I’m no longer Akeelah mated. 00 it smells so bad. She’s like you were just hot boxing me all nightly. I had some beers at the movie. It made me gassy. Um, yeah, yeah, it was It was gross, but But this dude stuck with a fart er for seven months or no, maybe a month. I think the original. The original stay for their watch was four weeks, it says. And then they said that was what I they missed the boat. And then it’s or the boat doesn’t come because of a storm. We don’t know. It’s undefined on how long this actually takes place, but they go through all of their supplies and they have toe unburied the the emergent emergency store rations, which is just alcohol, apparently like we don’t need like any pickled eggs or anything. Let’s just let’s just give them vodka like a giant box of vodka. Well, I mean it it is. It’s it’s truly is the most important part because when you don’t have potable water, you you need calories and you need you need to be able to drink insult that this is a really This is why sailors were drunk all the time is because they did. They could not store enough potable water and s o and they like to drink, So it worked out very well because one has calories. Yeah. So, um yeah, there’s so much to talk about in this movie. We way e beauty like so this movie like Okay, so they get to the lighthouse and and and quickly, it’s it’s the hierarchy is established. A foe is like, Hey, you’re the bitch. Go do the bitch things. I’m going to take the cool. I’m He’s like, I’m cool, man. Hot shit over here. And I’m going to do the cool man hot shit stuff, which is I’m a sin in the lighthouse at night. And look at the the lighthouse inside the with the with the light and ah, but then almost immediately, it’s like, Whoa, this is fucking weird because his first shift, he’s he gets drunk off his ass and he goes and sits up with the lighthouse, like in the light house naked. And I mean haggard, like, just blitzed out of his mind. One eye is almost close, and he’s sitting there just like cheers ing with the lighthouse as though it is a person that he is in love with very much right. And he’s like to ye e beauty and, uh like what the fuck is going on? Because he’s like touching himself. Kind of. Yeah, Robert Pattinson’s character climbs up the lighthouse to kind of see what’s going on. And Cem come comes down like some come drops past him is like, Whoa, yeah, come Well, there’s the 1st 1 It just looks like the first time you see the fellow up there. Um, he is naked and he is really drunk. And there’s something going on between him and the light, but you don’t know. And then later I think before, yes, before, um, the madness really starts or before, like the out before. Ah, before points starts, drinking starts drinking. Yeah, he goes up there and there’s like you can spot like a tentacle in the corner, something someone’s fucking similarly, some fast moving tentacles. And there’s like, Come or tentacle juice dripping down. And it’s like what is going on? So and again, this is before he started drinking. So is it in his mind? And this is really happening? This is what I love the most. This is my favorite move that a movie can do. It’s not like you don’t ever get to know it’s just What the fuck was that? I love it. Yeah. So the main point is, is Wenzel doesn’t drink, He wants to live by the books. And he’s like, citing the lighthouse Keeper’s Manual. And and wake is trying to get him to, you know, be a little looser and be more, you know, fun and talk to him. Yeah, I’m stuck here for a long time with you. Can you please hold up your end of this social bargain? Yeah. And it’s not until they missed the boat. Is that the last day? Um, there last night, patents and finally breaks down and takes a drink. And they get roaring drunk immediately, like they are just completely blasted. And then the next morning, when they go out and wait for the boat, the boat never comes. So from then on, though, like Winslow does not go back to sober living, he is 100% into the paint with drinking. Yeah, and there’s some there. Some Ah, Woody Woody call some symbolic imagery and some symbolic shit going on in this movie as well with seagulls and burger seabirds. Yeah, that’s don’t kill a sea bird. Yeah, I guess before that point, kind of the the main turning point of the movie. It’s a bold fucking Siegel that they have the hefty Siegel’s and 11 night Siegel, in particular kind of is really annoying and mocking Pattinson’s character and Thomas Wake Dafoe’s character makes it a big point. Two. Don’t fuck with Siegel’s, he says It’s bad luck to kill Seabird because there it’s even says in the trailer there. How’s the souls of sailors passed? And then, of course, what happens? He murders the fuck out of Siegel. He kills that thing shitless. Yeah, he really just grabbed that Siegel and rams it into the side of a rock like over and over and over and over again on. And that’s when the turning point is, that’s when the wind changes. And when they missed the boat and then all of a sudden it’s like a really deep dive into madness. And that’s when a lot of the kind of supernatural or horror elements kind of start coming in. Winslow spots a mermaid. Yeah, it kind of goes full Jumanji it. After that, it’s like it’s like just the place starts coming down around them because this storm just won’t let up, right? There’s some fucking There’s some animals coming out of the sea looking to fuck like it’s weird. You get a really good. I mean, we don’t get to see it Pattinson’s dick, but you get a really good shot of some mermaid puss. Yeah, it’s like a screen flash of like, the most vaginal thing I can think of which it was just a flash. Wasn’t like a long shot of a vagina. I can see it right now, but yeah, I can too. So they talked about how they came up with that. They based it on the shark vaginas. Apparently they tried to make a real, real vaginal home. Thio add that element of Yeah, it was a talking point of a flower, you know, it was like woo. Yeah, that’s the sound booth. They apparently historically, mermaids had split tails like on the Starbucks Cup. You know, because part of the big part of the reason for the mythology around mermaids is that you got horny semen and they want to fuck something like it would be easier if there’s, you know, setting something up there. Yeah, And then, of course, in the Victorian era, they put the tail back together where there’s no vagina. So you’re like, Well, why am I attracted to this? What? Well, I mean, I guess you know it Got handing them out Dolphins d stuff. Um, you know, uh, the horn in this is a big part of this movie. Oh, yeah. A big, huge part. Yeah. And it’s it’s almost analogue Ori of, like, situational homosexuality. Yes. Yeah. There’s a huge element of, like, just all of a sudden you’re like, are things going? But is that what’s gonna isn’t about to get his butt stinky in here? Yeah. And, ah, Like I said, it’s a joke. But really, there is an element of will. They won’t think in this movie. Yeah, absolutely. There is. And it’s understandable to you, like I mean, Okay, so ah, buddy of mine. One of our one of our patron members, Adrian was telling I was he was talking to him this week and he said, um, you know what are you reviewing its in the lighthouse? And he said, Oh, you know, So he just he just hiked a a trail, um called the Westcoast Trail and It’s in a Victoria Island, um, in British Columbia there and lots of lighthouses along the way. And ah, and lighthouses are still ah, thing you know, it’s not. It’s they’re not gone. There’s there are still people who inhabit them as well, and which is kind of crazy because everything’s got GPS. Now, why would you need a light to show you where the shortest? Well, because because not everything is a giant commercial vessel. And and, um And there is a service that the government needs to provide, too, to make sure that people are safe. And part of that is Coast Guard. On the other part is light houses. And and so these people who in hat he was telling me, these people who inhabit these lighthouses, you know, they could they go out there for seven month shifts, seven month shifts. Where there alone? Yeah, for seven months, they get, they get rat, you know, they get rations brought to them and books and stuff, but they’re essentially alone in a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean for a long time. And, uh and I think I would like, do something like that. Yeah, but I mean, if I didn’t have a family. Well, maybe because but but yeah, I mean, it’s It’s one of these things where it’s like, how How much would you say you masturbate in those seven months? Seven months worth of masturbation? Straight like a I don’t know. It’s just It’s one of those things where it’s like, Yeah, I mean, it would be on if there was another person there. Well, who knows? I mean, I mean, the rations would have to be all right. So we need, you know, three squares a day. We need probably like enough books to read one a day. And then you’d also need to, like, ship in an entire industrial barrel of lube. Yeah. And lotion and lotion. Just I mean, that salty sea air is not kind to your skin. No. Yeah. You’re going to get real chapped hands, and that’s not gonna be you’re gonna come out of there looking like a 75 year old man, and your dick’s gonna look like it’s 14. Yeah, you do, man, if you had, like, a one of those Ah, Woody column, Flashlight like the Yeah, flashlight. Like a pushy sleeve. That thing would just be sleep, just like melted. By the time you’re halfway through your stint, I need another pussy slave. Be ragged. Give me one of them. But sleeves, I’ll tell you what they need to make one of those mermaid pussy sleeves and then Okay, well, that’s a drop pussy. All right. And then, um, yeah, slow to send a madness. And then, you know, at this point, there’s not really a lot to talk about in terms of what happens. But the major spoiler is Doesn’t end up well, they both die. Um, I just wanted to touch briefly on my favorite scenes. Like, I think the best things in the movie if we haven’t talked about him already. Um, there’s a great scene where Winslow criticizes wakes lobster like it’s the breaking point. He’s like, You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, old man. And you’re cooking sucks. And then and then Wake Dafoe’s character goes on this impressively long and elaborate ranting tirade. You know, just it felt like a Shakespearean lights. Feelings are hurt. He’s feeling to hurt. He’s like, don’t calling upon the powers of Poseidon and and don’t let me lob stirred her sing them and and like calling down the the supernatural elements of the sea to destroy Winslow for not liking this lobster on then at the end wins those like I like your lobster. All right. I like your laughter. It’s all right. That’s a fantastic scene. And I wish I could pull that for for this episode, but that’s that’s worth price of admission there. Um, the other main important scene is E from Oh, yeah, this important scene that David stepped out to pee. I turned to Kevin. Kevin has a notoriously small bladder moving like he is really like peeing all the time. I turn on said, I finally found someone that has a smaller bladder than you. That’s not fair, even remotely. I had a beer before I got there. 22 ounces, huh? And then I had 44 ounces before I before I went pee in the theater, huh? That’s 66 ounces. I mean, it’s not that you weren’t drinking anything. It’s not that I have a small bladder. It’s that I drink and you don’t. Yeah, but I feel like if you pee right before a movie, you could still hold it for two hours. 66 ounces. Yeah, but it’s not old leaking down there, though. I’ll tell you what, let’s have a contest. You and may well, go toe to toe water for water. All right. And, uh, we’ll see who lasts. All right. Anyways, David, step out at least three times from the theater. No, I stepped out to time. All right, Well, you think you know, actually, I didn’t I didn’t. I only stepped out the one time the first time I got up, walked over to the side and stood there and watched the movie. And then I was like, I can’t leave. And I sat back down. I never I never left the movie theater more than the one time when the only way from admitted well, he missed the most important thing in terms of the drama. So Hee from admits to murder. Um, back when he was a logger, he murdered a a coworker that annoyed him. And well, basically, the coworker felony did nothing to save him. And then he took on his name. So his name isn’t actually from wins. Oh, but is also Thomas Thomas, something I can’t remember and Ah, and that’s followed by one of the best lines that’s repeated over and over again. Why did you spill your beans? Why did you spill your beings? Why’d you tell me? And, ah, another great scene is is after Wake is well, actually, as weight has murdered, he’s being buried. So they fight and awake is basically like tattered. And, ah, he’s let out like a dog. See, this is weird where it’s like is this really happening? I was so surreal and weird. And so Defoe’s characters put in this pit and Pattinson is burying them and he’s like, Wake is talking to him and like having a monologue as he’s getting buried. It’s really striking and really cool scene. Um, that one will stick with me. Um, one of the most. This is like the scariest part of the film. For me, just from the visuals was really kind of frightening was when Winslow actually makes it up into the lighthouse and he looks into the light. I don’t know if you thought this was a school as I did, but I did It got super super overexposed. He was screaming, and it just looked like I mean it was could make really good creepypasta just the image of kind of burnt out black and the super like sound did it for me was it was it was like this again, like the sound was overexposed. And yes, it was like shrieking, super, super distorted. And it was what we call it’s not just over exposed. It’s like trying to think of what that setting would be. The contrast like Super super contrast. Yeah, it is what it is in black and white. So it looks really crazy. Yeah. And then Winslow um jumps out or falls out of the lighthouse, I guess onto the rocks. And the final like image of the film is Winslow on the rocks with his guts being eaten out by Bye Siegel’s Yeah, which is very, um, much a callback to the myth of Prometheus. So Prometheus is Ah, great God that gave fire to man gave fired a man against the gods wishes And then his punishment was He was lashed to a rock and his his innards were eaten by an eagle every day. Yes, that’s right. And he is immortal. He was supposed to push the rock up a hill every day. Know that, Cece Cece afis Now he was. He’s just chained to the side of a mountain, basically in a eagle, came and hate his guts neat every day, but he’d never die. So it’s not a good ending. Um, so, yeah, that’s the oh, there’s the other thing that Kevin said that I wanted to read thematically said another thing because we talked about generational stuff on the car ride home, you hike millennials versus boomers and all that stuff, he said, comes that. Actually, another thing I was gonna mention, but we moved away from it in the conversation. Forgot was when we got to the whole generation thing. The movie, the lighthouse, I thought kind of played on that theme with Wake and The Older Keeper with Wake is the older keeper of the Light and Winslow, the younger one, wanting to wrestle control away from Wake, that’s a good point and get the light for himself and all the stuff with Winslow finding Wakes log with all the criticisms reminding them of the generational lampooning that goes on. Yeah, and then there’s the obviously ah, lot of sea God mythology and stuff um it would be interesting. Something interesting to read into about what the characters were meant to represent. Ah, but yeah, the stuff around the Guardian and the younger seeker. So, uh, just the whole idea of the power interplay between the older and younger and and, Ah, yeah, that was kind of Ah, there might be some meta commentary in in this movie around Yeah, generations and how they view themselves. Yeah, you guys should Ah, if you’re not a patriot, remember, You guys should subscribe for the after pot, which is another podcast that we run for the Patriot members. And today I will be talking about a little bit about generation. Next in the author, Bret Easton Ellis in his book Less Than Zero and ah, kind of Generation X, The forgotten Jen. So So do that. Because it’s gonna be interesting, because it’s a It’s a fucking disturbing book. A super disturbing book. So if you guys want access to a whole nother podcast that we d’oh, check out our patri on me, I think it’s the $5 tear. Get you access to that check. So this this is a really great movie. Um, again not like on my top 10 or anything but super interesting of something that I’m going to think about for a long time. Um, who would you recommend to see this movie, or would you recommend people see this? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I would, um, Look, if you appreciate, if you appreciate the craft, um or a Well, like a clearly well honed craft towards filmmaking, this is This is just You just can’t Can’t do much better than this. It would be criminal if this did not hit the award circuit given, given the award circuits love of this kind of stuff. Um, I would be very surprised if it didn’t You win a lot of awards, but but yeah, it’s gonna be a long year after years. Yeah. I mean, I also popular show I’m pretty pretty over the academy working, but all awards air kind of silly. And this will be a weird thing that both of them are lead actors. So I wonder it’ll be weird if one of them gets, um, supporting actor and one of them gets lead actor. Yeah, because they’re both like it’s so even. Yeah, um but I guess you could say Dafoe’s character is deck technically supporting actor. Yes. Um, and Befo already had got his. He got best best actor last year. Yeah, so I mean, there they deserve awards, if you care about that. Yeah, I’d also say this isn’t a movie for everyone, but it’s if you go see a you will definitely have not have seen anything like it before. Um, just as the finished product of the the visual style, the sound, the thematic material and the script writing and the acting is just just a really unique product. Yeah, and and all the commentary behind it. It’s all very interesting. It’s It reminds me of the house that Jack Belt or Suspiria in in terms of just in terms of care and craft An intent. All right, let’s move on to tag lines. Years, tagline taglines a game where we come up with alternate taglines for the movie we reviewed, um, that we think might fit better or what Not? How many do you have? I’ve got three or four. I’ve only got two. Okay, so you go first. I could probably do without one of them. Um, doing okay. I’m pretty happy with both of mine. Okay, So the lighthouse? Yeah, it’s pretty. That’s pretty. I was really wet. Yeah, well, that was the wet fart. Here’s the long one. Okay. The lighthouse. Oh, wait. The lighthouse. Ah, come on. I mean, this just must be a guy blowing arm. That doesn’t sound like for us that 1st 1 though. It’s pretty great. It was pretty wet. I definitely should have pants. 100%. The lighthouse. Oh, just kiss. Already there was one point where they almost did, too. Yeah, and then they were like, Hey, whoa, hey! Fucking got you trying to fuck it and fuck me, guy and maybe the lighthouse. 50. Fuck the lighthouse. 50 shades of beard. That was good. That’s good. The lighthouse. We’re all just one Siegel away from a very bad day. I have been moments where I’ve been, like, kill that fucking bird. Of course they’re my birds. So the lighthouse lighthouse More like fight house Shut the fuck This’ll was the best taglines ever, I think. Ok, one last one. And it doesn’t quite fit, but I still liked it. Light has more like fight the lighthouse, sir. I’m afraid you’ve gone mad with power. Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring. No one listens to you. What’s that from? That’s from The Simpsons movie. Oh, okay. Um boo boo. You didn’t like the Simpsons movie? Oh, I thought it was pretty good. Ah, Spider pig got in mind. What? I’ve lost so much respect so much. You’re one of those guys. 01 of those guys were taste. Yeah, I am one of those guys. So let’s move on to our pumpkin carving contest. Yeah. So, uh, what’s the, uh So let’s make a sign for the BAP dap bap bap bap bap, bap bip Bip Bip pumpkin carving contest But But come on, get in on this bump on Papa Papa von Pumpkin Carving contest announcing the winners of a pumpkin car bank on. Ah, that’s the extent to which I’m marrying Thio. I You gotta commit David. All right, so if you didn’t know and some of you might not know we had a pumpkin carving contest and we’re giving away to the winner a set of hocus pocus funk Oh, pop dolls. Yeah. All three of the ladies from hocus pocus re re created for your viewing pleasure as fun co pop dolls, little bobblehead dolls. And then that’s the first prize. Second prize is we’re gifting the the track or the music of focus Hocus pocus by focus, focus pocus by focus, which, if you’ve never heard it. I mean, just go to YouTube right now and look that up. That’s delightful. Um, third prize, You get nothing. You don’t get any. So we’ve got, um we’ve been talking about it for about a month now. Probably not quite. Not quite a month, A couple, couple weeks, weeks tweeted about it. We’ve gotten a tweet. That was retweeted a lot. Yeah. How did you do that? That’s pretty good. I don’t know. I just just caught on fire. Just caught on fire. We’ve had actually more popular tweets than that one. Like a sense of how she can really take off pretty easily on Twitter. Yeah, it was our first experiment with a contest, and I don’t know what we’re doing wrong or like what the what the, uh I think that’s practices or more. Probably more time. Really? Yeah, I think we should We should have had at least one or two more weeks on there considering, you know, we we We’ve really only been talking about it for two or three weeks. Yeah, 10 10 entries is pretty good. Yeah. So we got nine entries and interest, and we can We can look at them all now and kind of comment it. We can tell you what they what they are. And then we’ll decide on air and of the wars. And, of course, if you want to check out the entries, they will be available on our Facebook and Twitter. And also, I’ll put all the pictures on the post for this episode as well. Can we put him on Instagram too? Maybe, uh, maybe cool, because our instagram it’s pretty dead. So what’s open? Take a look at some of these pumpkins, Punkin. Okay, well, so let’s leave big. And for the for the end. My body begging. Um, Okay, I got an entry from Steven R. Okay, let’s take a look at Stevens punk in here on this one. This one’s pretty good. This is as far as a straight ahead Jack o lantern. Pretty menacing grin, spiky teeth. Spooky eyes. Yeah, that was the eyes. Do a thing on this one where it’s like, kind of double its. I can’t tell if it’s the way that it’s not the way the pictures taken. It’s intentional that it’s like, super transposed thing. See how there’s like, two eye flutters at the tips of the Yeah, yeah, I mean, that’s carved. And then he’s got, like, kind of eyebrows carved into it and send it out. It’s pretty cool. Look, that is a really good entry. As far as like, a straight ahead Jacqueline. And I think that’s like a front runner. Yeah, for the Jack o lantern types, we’ve got Xavier de, which is a pretty awesome name. Or Xavier. If your friends Sure, um or X e x x avere We veer from the south, we have sufficiently destroyed your name. This one’s another Jack o’lantern Also very spooky. Yeah, I’d say on par with Stevens on forest, even like it’s ah. But he chose to light it with an l e d light. Did you just fart? What was that fart sound that you made? It was probably just from my throat. Yeah, I like. I like Xavier’s. It’s ah, it’s a meat and potatoes Jack o lantern like a pretty pretty strong on the needle teeth And another one from Magnus. We’ve talked about magnets before. He’s a good boy. Delight. See, Now, Magnus kind of went above and beyond here with the background. Yeah. Chose to say true amazing artist among the autumn leaves. So he’s got another jack o lantern. It’s kind of got a stitched mouth. Crazy kind of the nightmare before Christmas. Yeah. Eyes on it. Yeah, it kind of It’s kind of Jack, Jack O lantern or whatever is young is from this is this is really good. Um, I’m gonna the way all the way from sweetie. I’m gonna be honest. I’m kind of glad that Magnus isn’t the best one, because I didn’t really want to mail it to Sweet who? That would have been a spicy meatball. You know what I would have done as I would have just transferred funds for him to buy his own funk? Oh, pop. Like that way can’t. Magnus is great. He’s a super fan. He just threw a Halloween party and printed out a bunch of horror movie time. Yes, I’m I’m glad you brought this up. If you guys want to see pictures of Magnus is, um of Magnus is ah, Halloween party that he threw all the way over across the pond in Sweden. He threw a Halloween party at a like a bar or a club. That’s like it looks like it’s it looks like it’s underground, like in, like, you know, Europe. And, uh, it was attended by, like, 80 some odd people. Yeah, and it was a badass like themed zombie outbreak party. It was really cool. It was bad. So that’s so Pictures for that are on our last post, so that would be zombie land. Fittingly, Zombieland double taps. So check out his his party in zombie land. Double tap. Yeah, he’s a He’s a cool dude way, haven’t we? Haven’t checked. If we had a spike in Swedish listeners, we have It’s not. It’s not tremendous, but I mean I mean, I’m sure it’s Magnus driven. Yeah, thank you so much to listeners that recommend the podcast to friends, especially like this is a great time to do it. If you’re if you’re a little like shy about your fanaticism about horror movies, you don’t want to be that guy. Um, you know, people are watching horror movies around now, this is gonna be released on the 30th. So, I mean, you could share. Yeah. There’s a contact. Your friend? Yeah. There’s contact. Oh, now we’re getting into one of the one of the Oh, we’re not. Okay. Well, let’s skip over. Let’s go into the We’ll save the top three. And bottom one. Let’s check out Caitlin A’s. Caitlin, eh? Um, Caitlin and Garrett send in their jackal lanterns again. This is like a very straight ahead jackal entrance. Both of these. Yes, but they both have a little bit of attention to detail in the three d space. Like they Yeah, they think about the curvature of the pumpkin and kind of factor that into the whole thing, Which I appreciate. And I like Caitlin’s has, like, the mini pumpkin inside the maw of her Jack Atlanta tonight. I couldn’t I couldn’t see that. Hey, that’s pretty good. I like whenever they involved. Like, um extra, like little pumpkins, their stuff coming out of the mouth. So they’re a married couple. Is that other one next to her’s? Is that Garretts? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, um oh, it’s not a pumpkin. It’s a Lauren. It’s a little orange with a sad face. Okay, so and then Garrett’s is similar. Similar standard. Um, what do you call it, Jack o lantern style. Um, you know, it’s menacing. It’s I think I like Caitlin’s more. Sorry if I’m assuming that the one with the orange is Caitlin’s. Okay, so now we’re getting into our top three thes air. The actual contenders like No offense the ones that we’ve talked about there they are great. No, none of them are embarrassing. I can’t wait until we talk about Big and sunk in just F y. I, like David has assured me that Begins is his game to be, like, made light of or like, you’ll never find a more amicable kind, like just jovial person than Brad, which I’m very glad because we’re just going to rip your apartment come from that bread. Uh, but let’s get into the top of the top three. Okay? Tina D. Submitted a great pumpkin, so it’s got the word creepy on it, and it’s dripping. It’s very like our, um, our logo. Almost. Actually, no. I think I know the font that she’s using. I think That’s a Google fund. This I might be wrong. This this. Okay, so Tina’s is such an expert skill level on carving. I can’t the Yeah, this is not like, um, there’s some some pumpkin carvings that air like they do kind of the shading effect by carving progressively deeper into it. This is a straight ahead all the way through the pumpkin, but it’s super skilled in that because it’s the lining is like she’s got that slightest little slivers of lines between the the the letters. Creepy. I cannot believe how how finally, detailed this thing is caught for straight carving. And then it’s got an eye above the word creepy with a little that that plays with, like, the negative space. The pupil is like a little bad guy, and he’s got a little hand. That’s part of the the eyelash. Yeah, it’s really good. I mean, the the font on is amazing. The drip effect is really cool. I mean, this is this is ah, definitely a front runner. Um, then we have Jared. Jared, um, it’s got Ah, let’s say Jared be okay. Um okay, this one I mean, this is to me, It’s it’s on another level, this is pretty impressive. So he’s got this. It’s almost unfair. E I mean, he’s got, like, the heck are those hexagons? I’m not beyond 123456 six sided. Ah, the thing is, what would that be? I don’t know. It’s not a Those are what bees make, right? Sure, honey, come, Ho would be a so hexes five. Okay, so cept her nose except a seven. We’re really again. We talk about formal, right, well researched on this on this pocket. Anyways, it’s got this geometric pattern and then the center it’s like and this is one of those pumpkins that that uses the depth of the pumpkin toe Let the light shine through. He never There’s a few spots where it’s just accented and actually carved all the way through. But most of most of this pumpkin is just is just surfaced carving yet in the center is an eye scooper detailed the I like very, very much like the black Christmas. I yeah, the crazy I you see through people and I want to point out this is fucking ridiculous. He carved it so this looks like it’s shaded like he took out that particular shape, and it’s hovering over it. Yeah. Can you appreciate how ridiculously riel that looks like? I mean, we went to extensive like we’ve we Okay. So, to to kind of help you guys understand how impressive this thing. First of all, you got to go check it out on on the post or on our on our social media, But we were pretty sure like that. This was that. This was stolen from something. Yeah, this feels like it is not if there is a contender for, you know, highly suspicious entry. It would be. This one did a reverse image. Church didn’t didn’t come up a lot of research. Did did research around the other info on it, the email that submitted it. And the only thing I can find is the reddit user that submitted this tow our art pretty much the same day that he submitted. It s so so. First of all, beautiful pumpkin. Second of all, I mean, it’s ah, just the whole concept is a concept to execution. Pull. Think. Very impressive, Jenna. What is our What’s our last entry? Um, besides brats. So Jessica got in right under the wire. Um, another patron that we love. Early Patron. This is one of the first. Yeah, she’s a starter of the 66 60 year. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, she submitted another great entry. This is another like three D one where it’s it’s really like a sculpture. It’s a scar. Fisher. Yeah. This is I am so envious of artistic people and like being able to being able to see something and within something normal, something cool within something normal and then, like, flesh it out like this is it’s like a It’s like she turned a pumpkin into a goblin face. Yeah, and it’s kind of nose and and crazy, crazy, like facial features like wrinkles. And yeah, it’s pupils and shit. Yeah, it’s great. And got got three D teeth and stuff. I mean, it’s really impressed, So I mean, the front runners are these last three. We got Jessica. We got Jared and Tina like it’s I mean, this city close, Bryce. I’m gonna I’m gonna say I think we’re both thinking. Um okay, here’s what I’m gonna say. Can we do a split on second place? Because Yeah, because I can’t. They’re both They’re both impressive and they both deserve hocus pocus by folks. This is what I’m saying. I mean, this is what I’m saying. Let’s let’s be honest. I can’t. They’re they’re impressive in their own right. For Or maybe we can when you can split hocus pocus by focus between them so half And after half of the year half of the year, Jessica can have focus, focus, focus On the other half of the year team they can have hocus pocus by foot will be silly brakes on taxi radio contact the the recording licensure. And we’ll just work out the logistics of splitting. That’s about that silly. What you do is instead, you just take the song, put it into an audio, enter and cut it in half. One gets the front first part and the other gets the second half. Okay, Okay. That makes sense. Right? Right. Right. So I must say, a two way tie between, um, between Jessica and Tina. Tina and that ends First place goes to Jared. Jared be just ridiculously good, Like Wow, Jerry. I mean, I’m still gonna have to email this guy and be like, Can we get some You legit. Can we get some applause for all of our entries? Except for Brad’s? Let’s get a round of applause from our studio audience. Thank you, Studio. You know, you guys were really usually very, very kind and well behaved respectful that, you know, you know, this is a controlled recording. Time to let it. This is it. Let us hear your appreciation for Jared. Thank you. That’s that’s that’s good. And indeed for all of our injured. Thank you. Everyone who participated in this, we sure do appreciate it, man. You give a mouse a cookie. Okay. All right. Please way. Keep it down. Way got the rest of the way. Mute the house mikes, please. We’ll make the house, Mike. All right, so congratulations, Jared. And Tina and Jessica will hear him in the back right now. They’re just They’re animals. We’ve improved. Well, that’s what you get when you have a rabid fan base. Um, now, let’s talk about Brad’s. I spent, like, five minutes trying to figure out what the fuck this was because I gave up, elected the description. Okay, Like so there’s two pumpkins in this picture and points out he’s like guys, mine is the shitty doesn’t say shitty. Mine is the one on the left. I was like, What is that? A pig? Cyclops? So it’s like, All right, so it’s got It’s like a circle and that has got, like, Globular, my son is normal and then it has It looks like a snout. It looks like a pig snout and some like Is that like a angry birds pig? Or like a very particular type of angered birds? Pig? Because it’s got the circle on the top that looks kind of like an eye, but it’s Thea negative space, but it’s hanging down the thing. It’s clear that he had high aspirations and 060 scale to execute a and then the side. There’s like the circles, too, but they could be arms. Yeah, I don’t know. It was It’s unclear. It looks almost like a like a Tetris game or something like that. Yeah, like are like are worded Tetris game. So here’s Here’s what he said in the comments, and we’ll have to do a side by side. We’ll have to pull a picture of this just so you can see it. You know, one against this the other. He said, Ah, mine is on the left and then in parentheses. Mario Mario Mushroom. Okay. And Kates, My wife is on the right. So he’s got now. Kate, yours is fine. I it is. It is a just a normal pumpkin entry, but Brad’s is uniquely retarded. Hand. God help you, big guy. I love you to death. But this man, you should give up on pump even if even if you have kids, they should hurt or, you know, Just don’t be so ambitious. Like, just start practicing. You don’t just do some triangle eyes and, like, just a smile. We’re gonna You know, my dad grows a tremendous amount of pumpkins everywhere, like just just off the charts. So, Brad, you’re perfectly welcome to come up here to Clark County, grab some Ah, grab some pumpkins and just practice away because you need it, buddy. So Brad was the very first entry in the pumpkin carving contest, and he was the only entry for, like, a week. And then we were sitting there like, Oh, God, if it’s only Brad Hawk and it’s just this is just gonna be a massacre. Brad wins the hocus pocus by focus with Erna and and the hocus focus girls. So anyways, thank you so much for for sharing and entering into the pumpkin carving contest. IOU beers buddy for for breaking over the girl beyond black Grand pumpkin car over and over. Uh, he’s a good guy. We’ve been assured that he’s he’s a good guy. He is. Yeah. Yeah, And if he’s not God help you because he’s the biggest motherfucker you’ve ever seen in your life. Yeah, he could probably kick my ass, but, um, it can’t cover pumpkin out out of, ah, wet paper bag. Maybe that was the problem. He’s like Andre, the giant level huge. You just startinto carve and then punched a hole throat with us. Yeah, you know, it’s like he’s holding it between his his ah, his index finger nous thumb. And he’s got this teeny, tiny little life that’s basically like playing with a doll set. And he’s just trying his hardest to be intricate. But he can’t because he’s so big and his face is so far away from his hands. It’s like I can’t see. Sorry, bread. Thanks for rendering. Thanks, everyone. And congratulations. Jessica, Tina and our first place winner, Jeer and Jared. You’ll be getting your brother. Oh, man, we really capitals in the me. Oh, yeah, we really appreciate everybody’s entry. So with that, with that, so we have That’s the end of our episode. Please. Again, check out our website at horror movie talk dot com. Please, please, please, please share the podcast with a friend. It’s the only way that we grow We don’t advertise And we’ve depended on listeners to steadily grow us, which is the worst so far. The good news is it’s worked so far, and we’re kind of reaching in the inflection point where we’re seeing like, yes, we’re getting a better trajectory on increased downloads. Um, check out our calls to action on a Web site. We’ve got the Amazon Associates button. If you’re planning on buying anything from Amazon the coming week, just click through the button and we’ll get a little taste of whatever you spend. And then, of course, our patron that we’ve patri on that. We’ve mentioned special thanks to all our pumpkin carving contest entries and special thanks, especially a special special specially to Dustin are ah, our ah post artist. Our resident artist who provides us with beautiful artwork and who does commissions if you if you have. Ah, you know, if you have art desires, he can He can fucking get you some art. Yeah, to be to be honest, we do not deserve Dustin. No, Um, so please support him and ah, use him on your projects and at D global d ah g o e b e l 00 on instagram. Yeah, um, and special thanks to all our patrons and yeah, do check out our do check out our latest blogged by Keith on the his top 10 favorite zombie types. It is a as as you’ve come to expect from Keith. It is a compendium, so check it out. It’s on. Ah, it’s on our website under the blog’s section. And with that, that is another episode of horror movie talk ended and we love you. What should we check out next week? Oh, yes. Oh, the coming weeks trying. We are doing the shining and I think that we can get my wife on the pod for that one. She has expressed interest in watching the Shining because she is interested in seeing Dr sleep, which will be not next week, but the week after. So check out the Shining. I don’t know where that’s available right now. Yeah, I mean, I might have problems dollars for it Now, I think I think it might actually be available on Netflix. Yeah, I would be. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s free somewhere because Dr Sleep is coming out. I think it is on Netflix, so yeah, that’ll be exciting to talk about because I actually read, um, while the listen to the audio book, my wife would take issue with me saying I read it, but I listen to the audio book of both The Shining and Dr Sleep. I’m the last couple months and, uh, i’ll be able to talk about, you know, maybe a little bit more informed than I normally do, But not with good grammar. That’s all thinking about by Yeah, Roar
Zombieland: Double Tap Review
Oct 23, 2019
We went and saw Zombieland: Double Tap, and I was treated to a fabulous time! This franchise understands it’s audience and really ends up feeling like an excuse for famous actors to get together and have a blast making a movie – which, as it turns out, means a good time for everyone.
Big thanks to Dustin Goebel (@dgoebel00 on instagram) for the original artwork
Zombieland: Double Tap is in theaters right now.
https://youtu.be/ZlW9yhUKlkQ
Zombieland: Double Tap Synopsis
Zombieland: Double Tap isn’t a very deep movie that requires much in the way of explanation or critical analysis. It’s a fun time. Our lovable characters from the first movie are all back, living their lives in Zombieland and kicking ass. The controversy in this story starts with Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) proposing to Wichita (Emma Stone), which creates a rift in their relationship due to Wichita’s inability to be close. She and Little rock leave the family with only a note to explain their departure. Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and Columbus are floored.
While on the run with Wichita, Little Rock (Abigail Breslen), the youngest of this adoptive family, decides that post-pubescence is pointless without a cute boy to bang, so she leaves the safety of her family and ventures into Zombieland with a cute boy from Berkley, called…Berkley. The gang decides that they have to go after her, and this is the basis for most of the movie.
There are some great cameos and new characters who add quite a bit in the way of entertainment, like the stunning and hilarious Madison (Zoey Deutch) and the strangely Woody Harrelson-esque Albuquerque (Luke Wilson).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-qfyzWBYH4
I love you Zoey.
Zombieland: Double Tap Review
Zombieland: Double Tap is easy to watch and is great at what it tries to be – fun, funny, over-the-top action, with a little bit of sex thrown in. It’s got great writing, the dialog in-particular is spot on, and the jokes are top tier. If you like guns, the use of guns, explosions, laughing, sex, and witty banter, you will have a blast, especially in the theater. The world that they build is also convincingly zombie-like, so there is that.
I had a fun time with all the theoretical stuff that you dream about if you constantly dream about a zombie hellscape. Want to live in the White House? Cool! Want to propose with the Hope Diamond? Alright! Want to shoot first and ask questions later? Neat!
Double Tap may not be the most artistic or scary movie this year; in fact, it’s barely got any scares at all. But it is tons of fun.
Weirdly, this is the second zombie movie in 2019 that Bill Murray has been in, the other being The Dead Don’t Die.
Score
8/10
Zombieland Double Tap Spoilers
Click to Expand Spoilers
This movie does not try to be anything it’s not. It wouldn’t be fair to say that it’s not a smart movie, because the dialog and the banter all are at least clever, and at best they are quite funny. It doesn’t have much in the way of a noteworthy story, though, which didn’t really bother me. A heavy story would have been in the way of the things that make this movie work.
Nasty T-800 zombie
With that being said, there isn’t much to spoil about this movie, and to do a rundown of the plot would end up looking like me trying to explain the plot to a monster truck show, or a wrestling match. Instead, here is a list of fun things that work and don’t work within Zombieland: Double Tap.
Fun Stuff That Works
Zombieland Rules
The rules that Columbus comes up with make sense and always come with an example so that you can apply it to your zombie experience. These function as running gags and are perhaps the reason why the first movie did so well. The most comprehensive list of rules from the first movie that I can find is:
Cardio
The Double Tap
Beware of Bathrooms
Wear Seat Belts
No Attachments
The “Skillet”
Travel Light
Get a Kick-Ass Partner
With your Bare Hands
Don’t Swing Low
Use Your Foot
Bounty Paper Towels
Shake it Off
Always carry a change of underwear
Bowling Ball
Opportunity Knocks
Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
Limber Up
Break it Up
It’s a marathon, not a sprint unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
Avoid Strip Clubs
When in doubt Know your way out
Ziplock
Use your thumbs
Shoot First
A little sunscreen never hurt anybody
Incoming!
Double-Knot your Shoes
The Buddy System
Pack your stain stick
Check the back seat
Enjoy the little things
Swiss Army Knife
Rules that Double Tap added that I found in this movie are:
Enjoy the little things
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Wet naps
Oh Madison, you so pretty
The Jokes
Man, I belly laughed more than I care to admit during this movie. Double Tap has that intoxicating effect of sweeping you up in the action, excitement, and fun that lends itself to easy laughs.
Madison is more than just a breathtaking beauty, her comedic timing along with the way she plays a vapid valley girl who has managed to survive Zombieland for so long makes her one of the best parts of this movie for me.
The Guns and the Action
Look, I’m not an action movie guy. I don’t own guns, but I do have a blast shooting them, and I was raised a red-blooded American male. The amount of badassery that takes place in this movie is off the charts. Cool slow-mo montages, Metallica, Gatling guns, heads being ripped apart – it’s awesome.
Stuff That Doesn’t Work
Bryce didn’t like the slow start of the movie. It worked quite well for me, and it reminded me of a book that was trying to catch you up on the previous installment.
There isn’t much in the way of a story here, and what is present is a shitshow as far as continuity or, you know, making logical sense. But zombies are roaming the earth, and beautiful actors are the only ones that lived so, it’s not like it needs to make tons of sense.
Final Recommendations for Zombieland: Double Tap
If you don’t care too much about being scared, or dislike being scared, this is for you. If you love action and jokes and guns, welcome home.
Albuquerque and Tallahassee
Fan Love From Sweden!
Magnus is a long-time fan of the show and he is from Sweden – the land that America can’t stop dreaming about. He wanted some Horror Movie Talk stickers, but we figured that the shipping would cost a lot so we sent him the graphic to print out his own stickers.
Well, he kind of did that and sent us some pics of our logo way across the pond! This is him and his siblings at their annual Halloween party. This year it was zombie themed. Thanks Magnus, we love you, buddy!
That’s Magnus in the hazmat suit!
The Witch Review
Oct 16, 2019
There is a reason why The Witch is considered to be the first movie in the “elevated horror” sub-genre. It raised the stakes for what a great horror movie could be. Think that’s hyperbole? Well listen to our review of The VVITCH, and we’ll state our case.
The Witch can be found streaming on Netflix and available to rent
https://youtu.be/iQXmlf3Sefg
The VVitch Trailer
Plot Synopsis for The VVitch
This film is about a family that is trying to live off the land in seventeenth century New-England after being banished from a Puritan plantation due to ideological differences. The film never tells specifically what these religious differences are, but the father William (Ralph Ineson) is a devout man of god that, while prideful and stubborn, is trying to raise his family as zealous christians.
William’s family is made up of his wife Katherine (Kate Dickie) and his five children Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy) the eldest teenage girl, Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw) the next oldest boy that is on the cusp of puberty, the young twins Mercy and Jonas, and finally the baby Sam. While the harsh realities of homesteading in 1630 present their own danger, the family is also beset by a witch that lives in the nearby woods.
Poster for The Witch
Thoughts on The Witch
This film’s original title was The VVitch: A New-England Folktale, and it really is that. Great lengths are taken to make this period piece authentic. From the costume design to the dialogue which is sometimes directly taken from sources from the time. I went in with a certain set of expectations with this film. I thought that the major dramatic tension in a super realistic period film would come from the mystery or doubt surrounding false witchcraft accusations ala The Crucible. Well this is not the Crucible, while realistic, this is still very much a FOLKTALE, and as such, the Witches are VERY real, and the power of the devil is frighteningly apparent.
It should be noted that this film is important in the genre as the first of the modern wave of horror films dubbed “elevated horror” that have come out of A24 films. The seriousness and craft that the director Robert Eggers is undeniable, and showed how successful serious, cerebral horror movies could be.
I really can’t say enough good things about this film. It creates a believable world filled with relatable characters, which brings a really unprecedented gravity to some fantastical supernatural elements. There is no doubt in this movie for the audience. They go FULL WITCH, very early on, and the audience gets to witness in horror, the dramatic irony of this poor family being ripped apart by the powers of Satan.
Score
10/10
Check out Robert Eggers Other Masterpiece
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2019/10/30/the-lighthouse-review/
The Lighthouse
Spoilers for The Witch
Expand for Spoilers
The film opens with the father of the family, William, standing before a panel of Puritan judges being defiant. We’re never told exactly what William is on trial for, but my guess is it’s for being kind of a dick.
The family is banished from the Puritan plantation and sets out to create a homestead on the edge of the forest. The dissonant music tells us that this is not going to bode well for them.
Hail Paimon!
Within the first 10 minutes of the film, the families baby is stolen literally right from under Thomasin.
Not to waste any time, Eggers establishes that, yes, the witches in this movie are real, and yes, they are scary af. We are shown the witch murder the baby and literally grind it down to bits with a mortar and pestel to rub the remnants over her wrinkled bent body.
This movie does not fuck around.
While you might think that the entertainment of this movie might come from the over the top violence that that scene might convey, the real good stuff comes from great characters and subtle interpersonal drama.
This movie is brilliantly written. It really explores the fragility of human life, and their will resist their weaknesses.
As the family works hard to mitigate their disastrous corn harvest, it is made clear that the cards are stacked against them. In the wood is not only the witch, but her master the devil is also exceedingly close. We see hints that outside forces are conspiring against them. We are given hints that some of the animals we see are either the witches familiar, or are inhabited by dark forces. You can tell that they are evil because they have real shifty eyes.
https://youtu.be/T55ArHjeR1c
Everyone in the family is dealing with their own struggles and doesn’t really notice the obvious signs of satanic interference. Caleb is dealing with his burgeoning puberty. Katherine is dealing with the grief of losing her child. Thomasin is dealing with the guilt of losing Sam on her watch. William is trying to hold everything together. The twins… well the twins are mainly praying to a goat. We hear them sing this song to their black goat:
Black Phillip, Black Phillip, A crown grows out his head, Black Phillip, Black Phillip, To nanny queen is wed. Jump to the fence post, Running in the stall. Black Phillip, Black Phillip, King of all. Black Phillip, Black Phillip, King of sky and land, Black Phillip, Black Phillip, King of sea and sand. We are ye servants, We are ye men. Black Phillip eats the lions From the lions’ den.
The Twins’ song
Wut M8?
The events quickly turn south when Caleb goes missing in the woods. We see him captured by a seductive witch in the woods.
Now the family is exceedingly suspicious of Thomasin since both disappearances happened with her around. Things are only made worse, when Thomasin finds Caleb naked and bewitched.
In a family prayer circle, Caleb comes to, but rants about the witch tormenting him, then the sighs in religious ecstasy as he is accepted into the bosom of Christ and dies.
The whole time, the twins are accusing Thomasin of being a witch, and eventually William is convinced.
When he confronts Thomasin, she denies the charges, but also spits some hard truths back at William. Mainly that he is a terrible father and farmer, and he is only good at chopping wood. She also points out how close the children have gotten with Black Phillip and that they are actually much more likely witches.
William puts Thomasin and the twins into the shed and boards them in.
Then all hell breaks loose.
The witch appears in the shed and goes full cackle.
William is attacked by Black Phillip and in his last moment, succumbs to evil.
Katherine is tempted by the vision of her dead children.
Finally, Katherine attacks Thomasin, and Thomasin kills her mother in her defense.
The film concludes with Thomasin making a pact with the devil and becoming a witch herself.
Thomasin arriving at the black mass
Final Recommendations
It might seem pretentious to say that this is an important film, but it is. I think it’s important for everyone to see this film to be reminded of the possibilities in the horror genre.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 67: The Witch Review Transcript
Expand for the full transcript of the episode.
this episode of horror movie talk brought to you by Sleepy time Disposable ether wipes. If you’re like me, you hear about all these studies on the benefits of afternoon naps. But who has time and they’re busy schedule to carve out time for a nap. Well, the good people, it’s sleepy time. Have you covered with one swipe of a sleepy time brand disposable, either Wipe you’ll be off to Does land on this News Express. Don’t waste precious minutes of your power nap falling asleep. Let’s Sleepytime disposable. Either Wipes. Release you from consciousness faster than you can say sleepy time disposable ether wipes. Go to sleepy time dot onion and use the code HMT A check out to receive a free pack of sleepy time disposable ether. Wipes for kids Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny Horror Movie review Show your panel of expert hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hansen, who holds a phD in Spook ology, and Professor David Day, the foremost expert on scare No nose. New theatrical releases always get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and horrible. I’m Bryce Hanson and I’m David Day. I’m the foremost expert in scare. No nose. Yes. I don’t know if you knew that, and I appreciate if you’d call me Dr Hansen from now on. Yes, Doctor. I mean handsome. I went to 12 years of college to get my doctorate in spook ology. Well, I mean, you got to respect the position. Respect the the position, not the person, I think, uh, to new listeners. Check out our website at horror movie talk dot com All one word you can put a www in front of that. You know how websites work there? You’ll find links to our social media and past episodes. We post new episodes every Wednesday. So please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. And please, please, please, if you’re on IOS and use apple podcasts, leave us a rating. And we’re really trying to get up to 200 ratings. That’s our goal. You guys want us on rotten tomato? We wanna be on rotten tomato. So guess who’s gonna be on rotten tomato with or without your help, motherfucker? Say you better get on with your help. You with your note? I meant to say we’ve got a great show I am this so excited for today. This is like I’m I can feel the energy in the room today because this has been a long time coming. Yeah, we’ve talked about this movie quite a bit because it’s one of our favorite movies. It may be my very favorite movie. Yeah, it may be. It may be right behind there will be blood. Yeah, this is Ah, an important film in the horror genre and something that I think fans of ours will like us talking about. Today we’re gonna be talking about the Witch Hall. They will start out by giving a brief review and our score for the movie. We score on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being miserable dredge That makes you angry fiving in perfectly average film. It’s all the expected marks in 10 being so good it transcends genre boundaries. This is all stuff we say in every episode. So let’s get through so we can talk about the witch after we give our score, will get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into what we liked and hated about. The film later will be doing a couple of games we’re gonna be doing taglines perennial favorite as well as a new game, especially for the witch, which is a witch, which is a which which which is which, So we’ll get there. But first, let’s talk about the witch. Let’s indeed we both rewatched the witch. It’s ah, the Times. Have you watched this, I think, is probably my fourth or fifth time. Yeah, this is probably my third. I think it’s available for streaming on Netflix right now, right? And it is as great as I remember it the first time. It is just such a solid perfect. It’s It’s really a great movie, but what’s e I mean? Just wait for our scores, though, because you never know. You never know. I mean, I’m I’m feeling a pretty low score today. Here’s the trailer. What? When we out into this wilderness to find I believe in our country. Kindred our fathers houses For what? For the kingdom of God. Let’s just wait. Family. Wait. Can I leave my senator? We have a show. Okay. Again, Like David mentioned, this film is available for streaming on Netflix. If your Netflix subscriber, you can just watch it for I mean, I guess not technically free. But you can watch it there as well as any you know, rentable streaming platform that’ll be found there. This film is about a family that’s trying to live off the land in 17th century New England after being banished from a Puritan plantation due to ideological differences, the film never tell specifically what these religious differences are. But the father William, played by Ralph Innocent, is a devout man of God that, while prideful and stubborn, is trying to raise his family as zealous Christians. Williams family is made up of his wife, Katherine, played by Kate Dickie, and his five children. Thomason, the eldest teenage girl. Caleb, the next oldest boy who was on the cusp of puberty. And the young twins, Mercy and Jonas. And finally, the Baby Sam, while the while the harsh realities of homesteading in 16 30 present their own danger. What this film is really about is this family being beset by a witch that lives in the nearby woods. There’s well, it’s just general satanic forces. There’s a lot of undercurrents and themes within this movie that go, in my opinion, go much deeper than just the what you see at the surface level, so and, well, I’m going to get into that for sure. So, yeah, um, the film’s original title was the bitch. So ah, lot of times you’ll see this this film with the title of To Capitol these in front of it originally was called The Vite. The vich, a New England folk tale. And it really is that great lengths are taken to make this period piece authentic, from the costume design to the dialogue, which is sometimes taken directly from sources from the time I went in with a certain set of expectations with the film, I thought the major dramatic tension in a super realistic period film would come from the mystery or doubt surrounding false with Kraft accusations. Allah the Crucible. Well, this is not the Crucible know. While realistic, this is still very much a folk tale. And as such, the witches are very riel, and the power of the devil is frighteningly apparent. Yeah, that’s like the major. I mean, it’s it’s so weird seeing it. It’s so accurately portrayed. Yeah, I am. And the characters even more so than a normal period drama Almost and because it felt as dirty as it would be bad. And it’s not like, Yeah, I mean I mean, if you’re trying, if basically, if you’re trying to move out into the middle of the woods in Ontario and ah, which is where this was filmed isn’t in northern Ontario. I’ve been there and it looks just like this, Um and, ah, if you’re trying to do that and really make a make a shot at it, this is what it’s kind of look like. If you don’t have a truck, if you just got ah, horse and some seeds in your pocket Yeah, and so the it’s not. It looks realistic, but it is not based in reality. This is based in a the folk magic and the folk beliefs of the time, which is also just a really interesting thing, like taking like a folk tale like what if you took Paul Bunyan and made a realistic, gritty movie about him? Yeah, it’s no, it’s a turn that I think I wish we had more of these kind of examples of, you know, the the the cautionary tale that was told to keep people in line being riel right that you know. But also they really believe this stuff back then, yes, that’s very much had impact on their lives, as opposed to just being like a children’s story, right? So it should be noted. And several people have noted that this film is important in the genre as being the first in this modern wave of horror films dubbed Elevated Horror. Um, which most of them coming out of the 8 24 film studio. The seriousness and craft that director Robert Eggers brings to this film is undeniable. It showed how successful a serious and cerebral horror movie could be. Yeah, I went into this with high hopes because the trailer was very impressive and I was not disappointed at all. I remember coming out of this going Holy shit. I didn’t know that this kind of thing could happen, right? You know, I didn’t know that you that you could make this kind of like it just was a totally new thing to me, and I was so excited because I like it, gave me hope for more like this, and hereditary really followed it up nicely, right? And it’s it’s kind of a also out of a 24. Yeah, this this moniker of the elevated horror movies I know in the genre. There’s lots of people that take issue with that because it’s saying that the other horror movies aren’t as good. Yeah, but even look around the time I mean production value and the seriousness of the draw of the genre was kind of starting to get more traction even before 2015. So I mean, like, even the conjuring films were a little higher effort. Yeah, they were taking more seriously than a final destination movie, and it was starting to come out of that found footage. Um, period in horror films to where they’re like All right, we’ve we’ve, ah extracted a ton of value out of this idea of found footage where supposedly we’re spending a lot less money to make a lot more money. Yeah, because it feels realistic. And then they started going back more towards high production and higher like artistic. And you’re coming, Merritt, you’re coming out of a decade, you know, 2000 2010 where it was kind of it was kind of a desolate spot for horror movies. I mean, there are obvious, you know, standouts. This is where this is kind of where, you know, found footage was birthed and but a lot of people toe found footage in very high regard. It all, um I I think there’s definitely a time and place for it, but in terms of, ah, big blockbuster horror, there was not a lot going on for a long time. Yeah, this is this one of one of the kick starters? Yeah. I mean, the blockbuster horrors were the found footage movies, right? I mean, Blair witch and paranoia paranormal activities did really well, Yeah, they did really well, the other ones that were really popular, you know, maybe not right around this time, But pretty soon before, it was like more on the torture porn variety, Yes. Hostile and saw and stuff like that that was had it today in the sun. And so this is really kind of a turning point, and some point to it as the first, but, I mean, there’s other films around there. I mean, the Baba do came out before I could say that that was kind of it felt like in the realm of the elevated horror, Um, stuff. I felt like it felt like there. Now. There was being horror made for me, right? Is what this film felt like to me. Um, but I really can’t say enough good things about the which It creates a believable world filled with relatable characters, which brings a really unprecedented gravity to some of the fantastical supernatural elements. There is no doubt in this movie for the audience I want to make a point of that is going in. Like I thought that would be a big part of it. They go full, which they like, full cackle. If it is, we have kids. If you have kids, this is going to be, Ah, hard watch for your wife potential. If your wife is like my wife, they go full, which very early on. And the audience gets to witness in horror the dramatic irony of this poor family being ripped apart by the powers of Satan. Yeah, in a real real way, it’s really ah, disturbing and graphic. It goes hard in the paint, um, you know, But at the same time, it’s not. It’s not very, it’s It’s graphic in the in the graphic parts And then there’s just this. And then it’s mostly a kind of inter family drama. I mean, I can’t even say that there’s a lot of graphic parts. Honestly, it’s one of those films where you you first. So it first so much and you assume that there’s a lot that’s absolutely right. Just the ideas that it’s conveying are so shocking. Oh, well, the end the imagery is shocking to it is shocking. Yes. They don’t show that what? What we may be alluding to right now. And if you’ve seen the which you can probably know what we’re talking about, but they show enough for you to be like Oh, shit. Oh, shit. This is hyper alarming, right? And ah, so I give it a two out of 10. Sorry. Hot right now? Yeah. No, uh, what do you Would you really give it? I give it a 10 out of 10. This is as close to a perfect horror movie for me as as it can get. And I mean, I you can call me your pretentious douchebag. But if you think that this movie sucks, you can just get the fuck out of here, okay? Yeah, just like this is really our lane. Yeah, 100%. And ah, I I definitely 100% agree with you. I like I said, I’ve watched this four or five times. I may enjoy it more than I enjoy hereditary. This is such a good, such a well made, well thought out. Just impressive story from beginning to finish. Like just in terms of Eve. We’re looking at good stories. If all you’re looking for is a good story, this is a fabulous story. There’s no fat on the bone at all. Everything is intentional, everything’s important. Every scene is there for a reason. And it’s so good. It tickles my Dickel the whole way through. Yeah, I think I mean, some people I’ve heard some people say that it feels really slow, but it doesn’t. For me, it’s only an hour and 1\/2. It moves a pretty quick clip, and stuff happens like one after the other. It, if you’re there, is enough time to breathe, and and And there might be an element of hearing the accent and the language of the time. That might be a little off putting. People might not quite understand it would be like, Oh, this is boring because they’re talking boring Talk has listen to their voices. Not only is that but so much of it requires your you to make up to infer right. This is not a horror movie that shows its its hand. You know, this is not a Halloween movie where he’s he’s hacking people up. You know where he’s on the hunt. This is This is a movie that is a It is a slow burn drama, you know it is. It is a drama dramatic story about a family that’s being torn apart. Yeah, and tearing themselves apart like it’s Yeah, there’s lots of stuff that happens between interpersonal relationships. And I think, you know, I gave hereditary of 10 out of 10 also, but I think I might be inclined, agree with you that this kind of edges it out because it’ll that of the sole reason that it is so consistent in tone like there’s not a shift. Hereditary has a definite shift at the end, which I still love. Like it’s not. It’s a totally different thing, someone people complain about, how it like, you know, it’s kind of goes full retard at the end with the with you said the hour with the cult stuff. But this one, You know what’s happening the whole time. And, you know, basically where it’s gonna end up, it’s either gonna end up, they’re saved or it’s gonna very badly. Yeah, Another aspect of this is and this is not This is this is not Thio. This is not to be, um, belittling towards towards people or anything like that. This is just one of these things where if if if you don’t have kids, it may like for me like there are plenty of people who don’t have kids and who will fully realize and and feel all the full spectrum of emotions that I felt through this whole thing Plenty because I remember watching this kind of movie before I had kids still affected me greatly, but there is a There is a sub, a subsection of people who just can’t relate to this. This very primordial like Oh my God, my kid feeling and and if that’s you, nothing, nothing against you at all. But this movie will work better if you have a lot of empathy for little kids. Yeah, I think I’m pretty inclined to write a block post. I got an idea for a plot post about the parental divide in horror movies, because when I go on our horror, said it, This is what I’m talking like there. There is a definite divide and people that love hereditary and, um, like movies based around family relationships and stuff happening to kids. And it may work a lot better for women as well. And for people with a high amount of empathy or who can relate very easily like this is the kind of thing that you will get to them. Maur. Yeah, but there’s there’s a certain element about parenthood that unlocks a just a huge Pandora’s box of fears of fear. Inside, you know, you did not have access until not have access to until you become a parent should preface that we didn’t have it. I didn’t have this necessarily so much of this terror for kids as I do now. Yeah, I mean, maybe if you’re an older sibling and you’ve had responsibility with kids and you realize how fragile and sickle and ah, you know, vulnerable kids are maybe a little bit really like. It feels like there’s this divide where people that had that her parents rescue. They get really scared by, um, kind of more cerebral relationship stuff around kids, right? And people that haven’t had kids. It just doesn’t affect him. Like you see a kid, you’re like, Oh, that’s another character that died, right? You know? Oh, no, that’s the the monster Got that? A little child. I’m really interested to see what they say about this because you have an interesting take on it. And because it is, it is a bit of a you know, it’s it’s a little bit of ah, I did delicate area, don’t get place to tread. And then, like the the other stuff that I know, it feels like the the people that aren’t scared by the parental stuff skew more towards slashers or like home invasion stuff, where it’s like they they’re just wanna see someone murder or they they are more fearful about being attacked right themselves, and I never Yeah, it’s hard for me to relate. I don’t really care, and also I’m a little bit nihilistic, so I just welcome it. I hope on first let’s let’s end this charade of life. Just take me now anyways. Yeah. 10 out of 10. It’s a fantastic movie. I’m sorry if I offended you if I told you to fuck off, but honestly, uh, this is like undebatable to me. This is just a great film. Yeah, it’s it’s it’s a great film that it sze not even it’s a standout the hum of the genre. You compare this to any other movie and I for the most part, unless you’re unless you’re putting it up against there will be blood. That would also be a good alternate title for this movie, by the way, Yeah, there will be blood. Yeah, that’d be a great title. But, um or, you know, this is this is a just a solid film. So let’s get into our mid roll. I just want to take some time before we get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into some of the plot elements of the witch to plug ourselves. Because if you like the podcast and you’re not a first time listener, I don’t expect first time listeners to come and go and join our patriotic count. But we do have a patriotic count, and we’ve just released several new tears ranging from kind of itty bitty donations up to, you know, rather sizable sizable donation for us and each Each tear gets more and more perks as you go up and every little bit helps and counts. And we really appreciate it if if you just take the time to consider supporting us because you know, this is a labor of love for us. So by all means if you can help help out the show, we are small and we want to grow. And every little bit does help. One of the the avenues that weaken, grow and get better is just production value in terms of, you know, we are third mike shit the bed on. So we need to replace that. There’s other stuff we could buy around, like freeing up some time with editing, paying someone to edit for us or to buy some more interstitial music That’s not just stolen. So stuff like that and, um, you know, we try to do bring content to the listeners that they care about, and, ah, you unlock some added bonus content when you become a patron also. Oh So if you want to become a patron or just check out what the tears are. If you’re curious, Goto our website horror movie talk dot com and there is a button and the banner to become a patron, and it’ll send you to our patri on page. The other button you’ll see in that banner is by on Amazon. You can support the podcast by buying or renting any movie or product on Amazon if you click through on that green button in the header. So if you’re gonna buy him something on Amazon, click through from our site and we’ll get a little taste of that eyes I have. I’m so excited because we have a pumpkin carving contest going on right now and is very important, and we have were announced it last week and we have zero entries. Well, I mean, you got to get the punk. It’s a little It was a little bit early last last week, so I understand they’re getting their pumpkins. They’re carving them up there, trying to think about you know what’s what’s gonna really wow us and win this contest? Because the winner, uh, you got to get your entries in by October 25th and the grand prize winner gets three funk Oh, pop bobblehead dolls of the witches from hocus pocus. So that fits quite nicely with this episode because I’m just like the witch is really disturbing. Hocus pocus has a few disturbing parts as well. You know what I mean? All you horror or porno fans? Yeah. Um, so you get in entries by the 25th of October said all you got to do is fill out your contact information and your address so we can send you the prize and upload an image of your pumpkin carving. Could be a jack o lantern and can be some super super elaborate, you know, movie poster carbon into a pumpkin. We’re really excited about how creative our fans are. And please share the entry retweet the tweets that we sent out about it or re share on Facebook. So you get all your friends that are doing pumpkin carvings to enter. Um I will say, Don’t cheat. We will do a reverse Google image search and whoever we pick and toe and picture that you’re not a dirty liar to enter into it. You just head to our website. There’s a There’s a Jack o’lantern from the Season of the Witch, the Halloween three movie that appears on almost all the pages Somewhere on the page. Yeah, it should be on all the pages on the home page is down at the bottom and pretty a pretty much every other page. It’s at the top of the sidebar. Um, it’s pretty unmissable if you scroll around. It’s a giant Jack o’lantern, and I’ll give you a link to the entry. You do have to have a Google account you have to sign into your Google account. To enter since is a Google form. But that’s not a big big You improvise the 25th of October and will announce the winner on the 30th of October podcast episode. So thanks again for listening. Oh, yeah, we haven’t mentioned the positive A cast Well, so the positive a cast went dark on Thursday or end and Friday I am gonna record a few new episodes, but I think the five day schedule is it is a little too much for this podcaster to keep up. So I need Thio. I need to rework exactly how the dreaded pod. Fayed. Well, yeah. I mean, the interestingly like my listens are up. Really? Yeah. It’s just like I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now, and I’m pretty busy, so I just let it slip for two days and you just ran out of things in the room to talk about. I went through every coin between John. Let’s see the torn up. No anytime. $2. Any talk about Darnell’s Inge? The crown molding didn’t crown molding. Okay, All right, dog will get down anyway. Thanks again for listening. Let’s get into spoilers. Oiler Foot section is This is the spoiler show. I like this first point you have What’s your first point? Oh, yes. So the first point It opens on the trial of William and his family. So it opens in this Puritan courtroom, you know, full on pilgrims like they’ve got hats with buckles on them. It’s not clear what William is on trial for, but he might be on trial for just being a dick. He’s kind of really. It seems almost like a trial that he called the way. The way it plays out, it seems like Williams like called them there, and he’s like, You guys are fucking up. Yeah, and they’re like, Well, what do you want from us? Would you like to be banished? And Lee? And he’s like, I fucking love it, Thank you very much. Let’s bring it like like it’s so confrontational On his part, it almost seems like he called the meeting and was like, You suck, you suck, You suck, you suck. I’m out. Yeah, I mean, it almost feels like it could be he’s too zealous or calling the church itself to repentance or write something that’s it doesn’t ever talk about specifically what it is. It feels prideful, but it feels prideful. It feels like, um and I think the only thing that really mentions later on is William talks about, like with disdain the church. So, like, I think organizationally like probably the inner hypocrisy, ease of the church or the leadership or something, whatever. It is like one of those common things that people leave churches for, like it’s but the lake, without a doubt William is a true believer is it’s not a trial for heresy, not a trial, for it’s doing something wrong. It’s a trial for either. William is being very difficult continuing to be very difficult or this is just William being like like, officially, I’m out like, yeah, I mean, it’s they basically say like, yeah, like you said, What, do you want to be banished or something? He was like, Yes, go for it. Fuck. Fuck you. Yeah, and they’re like, All right, you’re banished. It almost feels to me like it’s like William called it so that God could see him, renounce them and be like, I look, I’m done with you officially, Thank you. And so that so that he can maintain his, You know, his standing in the eyes of the Lord. Yeah, that’s an interesting take on it that he would call the trial. But I mean, I mean, that’s just what it feels like to be. Obviously, that doesn’t make the point. Is he’s very defiant and very confident in his ability to make it on his own, um, in the wilderness. So they go off and set up their homestead next to the edge of this impassible forest. Yeah, and you know, very early on as they’re going, a main character in this movie is the music and the soundtrack. The music does not. It communicates a lot. It does not bode well for this. Hold well for this family as they approach this forest. Birds air, not chirping bees. They’re not buzzing. But what you do here is creepy choral music and, like strings, it’s it’s ah, pretty intense in the soundtrack. We talked about this before. The soundtrack is just fantastic. The soundtrack. The soundtrack is perfect, like the choral music, the A bunch of voices all rising and falling and go together works really well. But not only the soundtrack, the sound design. What’s going on with the base, Um, what’s going on with the the way they pick up the vocals of everyone talking, It’s just so good. This is one of those things that’s very nerdy of me to point out. But what’s great about this movie is the dynamic range of the sound. How so? It reserves the very loud, loud for very loud moments, right, and normally it’s like a pretty relatively quiet film, and then some moments are very quiet, like there’s a big element, especially at the end around whispering, and it’s really effective because you’re leaning into it. And not only not only the sound is is but also the lighting that there are. So whereas some movies air just dark and you can’t see this movie is very dark for a lot of it. It’s, I mean, the lightest. It gets his gray. And I think I think the okay, There’s another podcast that you guys should listen to. I think I mentioned it before, but a 24 the studio that put out this movie, they have a podcast. And one of the episode was Ari Astor, the director of Hereditary, and Robert Eggers, the director of this film, just talking to each other. They’re interviewing each other, and it’s a really interesting up, so they don’t necessarily talk a lot about their own films. They actually talk a lot about their inspirations. One director and in particular, Ingmar Bergman, German director that was highly influential for both of them. They’re just kind of nerd ing out about this, Um, thing is a German Expressionist director, um, but in that in that interview, there are some stuff that that was revealing about Robert Eggers. In particular. His background is kind of in costume design I think his father or someone in his family was involved in fashion or costume design and sew. He has a really good grasp on it, and it comes out in this movie because the costumes were fantastic in the in. The setting of the movie is very realistic and, to your point of it, being dark talks. It’s got a beautiful Grady int of dark like It’s not just dark, and then it’s just black. It’s this amazing Grady int of light to dark right? But it’s realistically dark because at the time, if you think about it, if you’re in a scandal in the family at night, it’s literally lit by just candles. And so it’s super. Um, you know, the source. Lighting in the scenes is very dim and flickering, and I think I noticed, as I was watching those scenes with the family at night, just huddled around some candles. There he does light it a little bit more than would normally be from the source lighting, but very subtle right, because you can go to dark with this kind of thing as his evidence by that fucking Abe Lincoln movie with Daniel Day Lewis. Like that movie was so dark, I couldn’t see shit. The whole time I was in the movie theater. I couldn’t see anything. But we need to establish early that everyone in this found every everyone in the family is devout Christian. Oh, yeah, like they are true believers. There’s not really need out the only two that maybe kind of twins. That’s when the twins seem a little little ostentation. Yeah, they have, you know, they’re mostly Christians, but they also kind of like this black goat. Yeah, in particular. Um, but that’s really important that there’s not really any doubt in any of their minds like that’s not a part of it, Right? Religious doubt is not part of the equation, and that’s really interesting to me, the choice that they make. And I’ll talk a little bit more about that later. Um, within the 1st 10 minutes of this movie, we see the witch. Yeah, which is this most impressive part of this film, and it’s the part that sticks with me most probably because it’s the most shocking is it is. It’s like your ultimate nightmare come true. Yeah, so so opens up. They bear very quickly they’re expelled from the Puritan community. They set up their homestead and it kind of flashes forward and probably a couple seasons. It’s like they left in the spring, and now it’s here we are in the fall. So Thomas and the eldest girl is taking care of the baby Sam, and this is in the trailer. She’s playing peekaboo with him, and she covers her eyes and goes and does that three times. And the third time shams gone, she opens her eyes, and she’ll as she looks up there’s like a stick in the in the middle distance and a tree in the far distance. And they’re both wiggling, as though somebody just darted away right like it’s like Holy shit had How’d she moves? How? How did whatever grabbed him move so fast and he couldn’t feel it go by you or even just that moment in the trailer was so alarming, was on board was like Good God. That is frightening. Just having a baby vanish in front of you, and it’s within, like, closer than arm’s reach your hovering over it. It’s realistic to because I’m at that stage right now with Emma, where you know about nine months and she she she started calling a couple weeks ago. And now she’s so fast that you little you put her down and then you turn around to get a fork and then you turn back around. You’re like, Who? Where’s the baby? And, you know, she’s trying to pull the refrigerator down on top of it, right? So Baby Sam disappears and you think like, Oh, well, that’s gonna be the mystery of the movie. What happens to Sam? I know you don’t have to wait like it cuts to the witch running through the woods with the baby crying. Yeah, she’s like It’s like, Oh God, she’s she’s got him. There he is, He’s he’s in her arms. And then you go in this witches hovel and she’s kind of petting this naked baby. And you’re like, What’s she gonna do with this baby? What kind of ritual she’s gonna perform? And then she just picks up a knife. And you’re like, Oh, intimate cuts, too. Ah shot her a shot of her naked back. She’s naked port dimly lit and working away wars really, really working. And, uh, I don’t know howto howto break this to you. But she is mashing up this baby and like a mortar and pestle. Yeah, like just really grinding down baby and that she’s mirror on her. She rubs it all over herself, so alarming. It’s I can’t Stress is enough. This is within the 1st 10 minutes of the film, my wife was like She’s like, I remember this movie. This movie was great and then 10 minutes and she’s like, This movie is terrible. She’s like, I’m like, Yeah, but is it terrible? Is it just make you feel terrible on? She’s like it. It makes me feel terrible. It’s a great movie. I cannot get my wife to watch this movie. I tried so hard the angle of its a period movie. It’s It’s It’s a really it has artistic merit. It’s mostly accurate. All act all accurate. Yeah, that’s those. None of none of that is a lie. Yeah, and Ah, so, yeah, we’re We’re told very early on that this is a real thing, This which is actually mashing up babies and rubbing it on her body. And that’s like those air the table stakes for this movie. And so that’s where we are going on, and then it cuts back to the family. And a lot of it is just the family dealing with the disappearance of their baby. Yeah, and the fallout from that and all of the characters in their different stages of life and different priorities trying to live in this really, really marsh great environment. And, you know, you know, the baby going missing really sets the movie up for you know, your fall guy, you know? So now you have. I’m sorry, what’s the oldest girl’s name? I should Thomas and Thomas and Thomason is now like, fucked. Basically in the family’s eyes, she was. She was in charge of watching the baby, and the baby goes missing on her watch. And now she’s the fall guy, right? And, uh, and as if she wasn’t having a hard enough time coming of age, you know, she’s a young girl alone in the woods with Onley, her family coming of age. It’s just it’s this is everything’s coming to a head. Yeah, and things don’t go well for her after that as well. No, nothing goes well for anyone. The harshness of the wilderness is really a character in this movie. A very large element of this is in the backdrop. Not only are they suffering from this horrible loss, but also their farm is not doing well. Yeah, it has, like, like a little bunch of diseased corn. Yeah, and they are, Actually, we’re worrying about starving. Right? And William, the father is trying to do his best. Um, but in the end, you could you get the impression that he’s he doesn’t really know what you’re doing, either. Um, he he’s not terribly good at hunting. He’s not terribly good at farming, but he said he’s a dead ringer for chopping wood. Yeah, Dude’s got that wood chopping down and he does it throughout. That’s a that is a, ah, pretty constant. It’s a constant throughout the movie, where you get a scene of him chopping wood and basically it’s babe. It’s It’s just him getting his frustrations out, you know, it’s it’s him being with whatever that this next thing is that he’s dealing with. He’s just like fuck yeah. One of the main point is William doesn’t tell his wife Catherine, but he takes her silver copper prized silver Cup that she got from her grandfather or something, and he sells it so he can buy a trap for the woods because you know they’re going to starve. And so he’s trying to plan forward. He takes Caleb, their oldest son, but into the woods in the early morning, and William shares this secret with Caleb and tells him not to tell anyone. And, ah, they check this trap in its empty. It’s empty, it’s it’s gone off, but nothing. And they’re trying to go out and hunt and they have their gun with them and they spot a bunny. Yeah, William, like, kind of a hare, a hare. But it is a bunny, and you could tell that the hair is evil. Yeah, you could have got a real shifty eyes. You eat em and he’s not wrong. What? He says, the way sounding it sounds almost like a Norma Donald job. But no, that’s that’s an evil looking bunny. Yeah, it’s and like the music cues and stuff, it’s it’s great. So I mean, I always make for a reference to this, but that’s like a Simpsons references Bunny looked at you when ah, Homer is pitching a movie idea to Mel Gibson. He does laundry if the laundry list of all these ideas. And this is like the The dog is evil and Mel Gibson’s like, Well, how do you know that the dogs evil always got real shifty? I think at the end, while they’re running the credits in that episode, they got a dog with shifty eye looking around and you’re like, Oh, yeah, that dog is evil But this rabbit is he’s, um yeah, he’s a bad rabbit. And then the gun I said, I should say she’s a bad rabbit. Yes, it’s This is the which is familiar. Is it, though? Is one of them? Yeah, absolutely. And, ah, so they tried to shoot it, this rabbit, but the gun back fire. So it’s very obvious that this rabbit or this which have influence and they’re kind of fucking with yeah, the family and their livelihood And because and I mean there’s more to just the trap being set off, and there’s nothing there than just that because you look at the bare trap. If it gets set off, whatever sets that thing off is in there like like it’s not a hair trigger. Take some weight to Dio and and if if whatever put some weight on there, did it, it’s It’s still in the trap. Yeah, so they go back. And and so there’s this added element of Katherine wondering where your Silver Cup is. And this resent this growing resentment between Catherine and Thomas and her oldest daughter, oldest daughter, and the secret that Williams keeping so lots of, like, interpersonal stuff. The other thing that’s happening, like each character has a really interesting ark. Yeah, like every single one. So Thomason has this whole drama surrounding her of losing the baby and becoming more people becoming more and more so. Something about sheep of the family and Caleb, the oldest brother. He’s just on the cusp of of puberty. Yeah, you can tell he’s really dealing with what that means, because he’s like dealing with these hormones. And he’s trying to start sneaking a peek at Thomason’s breast, yeah, through her clothes. And then I could spend a whole episode just talking about that Really, like that is so there’s another movie that does that to which is babble. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen battle. No, I haven’t. But there’s this part. It tells the story of, like these different, disparate families across the world and how they impact each other. But one of the families is this Afghani. I think it’s an Afghani family, okay? And yeah, one of the boys is like tracked it to a sister because there’s no other women around. And you’re like going through puberty and living in a super super conservative religious environment that tells you your evil if you have any kind of lustful thoughts or whatever. And so, like when you have a lustful thought, it goes to the worst place, right? But this movie deals with it in such a realistic way. It’s not it. It’s not perverse or anything like that. I mean, it is in in in, in the very most bare bones of nature’s. But it’s not because of because of his reaction. He no, he’s feel shame about it. He’s trying to, you know, he’ll spend a little too long looking looking at her, and then he’ll and then he is very clearly feeling shame over it and and will avert his eyes from her for a whole minute, you know, and won’t even talk to her had just been like, you don’t leave me alone. I’m just trying to get by and be a non center here. So, like, and he doesn’t Can you take those sweater puppies and just maybe put him over there for a while? And he does love his sister to, like, just, you know, as a brother. Yeah. I mean, it’s just it’s just when there’s boobs out, you gotta look. Yeah. What are you going to do? Is one of those things when you’re growing up like you worry about. Like, what does this mean? Like, does this make me a bad person? Or does this make me evil? Um, or even like parents, when they see their kids doing stuff they have to be told or remind like this is just normal kid stuff. Well, yeah, this is stuff that they they’re figuring out. Like if you leave like little kids alone at a certain age, like they’re gonna end up naked around each other and they’re just gonna be curious and play doctor, whatever. And especially now, nowadays, you just like you immediately go to Okay. There’s some sexual predation going on. And even though even though they’re like five like, Oh, someone is preying on another. It’s like, No, this is This is just part of, like, curiosity and growing up and trying to figure out feelings and what not, anyway, So that’s going on with Caleb. It’s a mother, of course, is going through this grief spiral with losing Sam dealing with leaving her her country. Yeah, she left England. She misses, presumably, her whole family. Mrs Society, this is society realization. Now she’s cast out of their community, and everything is going wrong for so it’s very tempting. But I’m sure people look at the character of Catherine and say, Oh, she’s just a shrew or she’s like Man, she’s a real bitch Like she’s not being helpful. It’ll like the second viewing. Especially. I’m like, No, this is perfectly understandable lamp stuff that happens to Katherine. It is absolutely understandable that she would go insane like no doubt. Yeah, only abs. Absolutely. If you consider the whole of her of her, you know her life, and then where’d it’s amounting to? Right now, everything is Everything is coming to a head for this family very quickly. It for every person in this family and she’s really the only one that’s reacting in a relatively normal way to how crazy things are. Isn’t it weird? Isn’t it weird how, like she loses her son, her baby? Uh huh. And then, like, really almost the last, like one of the last straws for her is losing her Silver cup. Like then she’s like, Where’s my fucking silver cut? Like I moved away from my country. I got banished from the from our small little civilization. I lost a kid. I’m our farm is we’re not gonna have enough food for winter. And where’s my fucking cop? And then? Well, yeah, And then later, um, spoiler. We’re in the spoiler section, so doesn’t matter. But later, Caleb dice, right? And so she is. She’s her family is dying in front of her. It’s the only thing she has left, and even then, they’re worried about starving and all dying. So anyways, like her reaction to what’s happening makes a lot of sense. Even Williams reaction to it makes less sense because his pride and his like his stoic nous about the situation is probably not natural that he should be more panicked. And he’s he’s not I mean, but we all know Well, I mean, I know of at least a few people, uh, you know, in my in my family, who are very similar to him and and the reason I believe he is, he is. His faith is so strong, and he is so sure that God is with him that it justifies and and explains away, You know, I’ve met this guy who is just like this. I know him. He’s you know, I’m related to him. You s Oh, yeah. Um, so that’s his character. And then finally, the last characters of the twins. And they’re just little kids. They’re annoying little kids. They’re going a little shits, but a little boy and girl, they’re still innocent. But there’s something going on there. Yeah, there’s definitely something going on there. They’re singing this song. They’re a little too attached to this black goat black Philip who shows up out of nowhere. This if I if I caught the the um if I caught the way the way it went down is these kids are dancing around that that first scene with them dancing around and singing to black Phillip black. But they have the song for him. That’s the first time this family has seen Black Phillip Black. Philip appeared out of nowhere, and the dad wrestles him into into the cage. Know that it was their goat. And no, because because then later, Thomason says, says to her dad, Oh, and then and then this goat shows up out of nowhere and the twins, or just are able to speak to it. And you think when he’s basically accusing her of being a witch, she’s like, Well, what about the twins? This goat shows up out of nowhere. They can talk to it. It talks to them like I don’t I didn’t hear That comes out of nowhere thing because it’s hard. It’s hard for me because because her speech is so stilted in this old 16 hundreds kind of vibe. That’s what I thought I got out of it. I might be wrong. Correct me if I’m wrong. The first thing listening to this, the first thing is they’re like, dance around black Philip and out of his pen out of his pen, and they’re like the father is pissed off that they let him out, so, like it didn’t it didn’t appear then. So at least they had it at least before that scene. Okay? He was supposed to be in the pan and wasn’t. I’ll try and look it up as we’re as we’re talking. You know, uh, I can’t just pull it out on Netflix, so Yeah, Black Philip was in the family after some research. After some research, we we went back to the film way did reveal the tape. Um, so, yeah, these these twins are really enamored with this goat, and their family has had the whole time. I was wrong in my assumption that they found the go. Yeah. So they they’re singing songs to this goat, right? They have a song for black Phillip. They have a couple little things that they do and say with Black Philip. And this is one of those things that I I almost suggest that you watch this movie with subtitles. You can’t understand it. Um, it is kind of old English, so there might be some phrasing. It might be a little confusing. Um, but a lot of the stuff happens like a lot of the lyrics and stuff kind of betrays what’s going to happen. So this is the song that they sing Two black Philip, you gotta imagine Two twins singing this like that are maybe like, should we try a blackfella black Philip? A crown goes out, it’s and blackfella black Philip to Nanny Queen is wed Jumped the fence post running in the stall Blackfella black Philip, King of all King of all Yeah, on the other one’s air Black Philip, King of sky and land, King of sea and sand We are ye servants. We are ye men. Yeah, and black Phillip eats the lions from the lion’s den s Good lord like this is like they’re hard core They’re pledging allegiance to this black goat and saying that he is the Lord of land and sea and air and and their parents or just like, Hey, can you can you guys keep it down a little bit while you’re singing your Pledge of Allegiance to this Go? Yeah, so it feels very like, in a sense, while they’re doing it. But there’s this edge to it. Yeah, the direction is great. You’re like, something’s not right about that. Yeah, the whole time you’re like, these twins are fucked up but you can’t necessarily hear what they’re saying because a lot of it’s like in the background and other stuff is happening. But if you have the subtitles on you could read it. You’re like, Good Lord, that is actually Satan in this goat. Um, there. So they there’s a lot of resentment around Thomasina. The mom wants to ship off Thomasina cause she’s coming of age and she’d be better serving another family and maybe making them some money. I think that was kind of part of it. Or that we’re gonna sell her off or to be a servant or something, The mainly salary or something. It was mainly to have her not be there for another mouth to feed since they’re going to start. Yeah, but Caleb overhears this and he doesn’t want that to happen. So he takes it upon himself to go out into the woods and try Thio, get trying to rustle up some grub, rustle up some grub and hunt and Thomasina demands that he takes her with him. They go out into the woods and probably Caleb just goes out. Uh, kind of a lot. He, like, two sets off apart from Thomas And on a chase? Yeah, he sees Was it the rabbit? So that they catch a rabbit in the trap and then they seize the shifty eyed rabbit and he starts chasing after it. And Thomas seems like, whoa! And she’s on a horse and the horse is freaked out by the devil rabbit and ex her off. So Caleb is chasing this rabbit and ends up at the at the witches hut, which we’ll wait before before we get to. There is probably one of my favorite parts in the movie, especially with the subtitles on, because they’re trying to find each other in the woods after they’re separated. And Caleb is trying to whistle for Thomason. Yeah, and ah, the subtitle for it is attempted whistling. And here’s a clip from the booth. She puts his fingers in his mouth, you know, do the finger whistle. And that’s exactly what I would sound like thio on. So, yeah, he goes into the woods and he discovers this hut, and you’re like, Oh, that’s the witches hut. Now, once we get to the end of this whole thing, I’m going to discuss a couple themes that I see in this movie, and I think it’s important to mention just for for the sake of my explanation of these themes this the way this hut looks, it’s almost it’s almost the land. Yeah, it’s like a hobbit hole. It’s bit, yeah, it’s basically ah hill with with a den cut into it and Ah, and it’s it’s very has. It’s very obvious that they’re trees growing out of the top of it like this is part of the landscape. Yeah, And so you’re like, Oh, this is the witches, then. And you’ve seen the witch before that she’s this evil hag young woman like 75 year old naked. And then what comes out of the the hut is this, like, hot, witchy woman bosomy lady? Yeah, and Caleb, which is already trying to like feeling guilty about sneaking a peek at Thomason’s like pretty, you know, underdeveloped chest there through like layers and layers and layers of fabric of linen like this. Stiff, stiff, stiff linen. Yeah, this woman is like she is propped up like presenting, and Caleb is just not equipped to deal with it. He is. He is in the throes of passion. He’s he’s like, Whoa. Like, frozen in his tracks like he can’t move because he’s like, I want to fuck. That’s so bad. But I don’t know what to do. I need to run. This isn’t right. I need to find my sister. And then the which slowly walks up to him and and like, start kissing him on the mouth inappropriately. Yeah, bad trash. Like he does not consent. And then she grabbed his neck, and then it cuts. And so then the next thing Thomas and goes back to her family and like, this is the worst possible fucking thing that they lose. So I the horse I’ve got, like, a huge thing. Rice. They got some bad news. Remember how we lost that? First? I lost that first baby. Um, yes, Sam. I remember him. Did you find him out in the woods? So it’s pretty? No, not exactly that. Like I said, it’s bad news, but it’s not. It’s not the worst news because I’m here. Right. So, um, I went out in the woods with Caleb. Um, I lost him too. Yeah. Yeah. So Caleb’s gone. The horse is gone, which is just like a hugely significant loss that they never really touch on. After that, they do a little bit. He’s like, he’s like she’s like, What? Could you just go back to the Village? And he’s like, It’s a day’s ride with, ah horse and I don’t have that anymore. And I think the dog never comes back, either. Yeah, the dog gets injured in the woods, and, uh and that’s that. Yeah, so she comes back and then all of a sudden it’s really suspicious. What is up with Thomasina or Thomason? And and so it just goes down from there. Um, the the this is really kind of when the mom goes crazy descending into madness, the movie really starts ramping into, ah, fever pitch. And it’s and it’s only made worse when Caleb comes back. Yeah, because Thomason is really trying to get in the good graces of her mom. And she’s like, I’ll let me go like, take care of the goats for you or something like that. It’s dinner time, and her mom’s like, No, it can wait till morning and she goes out. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go do it anyway. Yeah, she’s trying to really ingratiate herself to the family to try to make up for this horrible tragedies that’s happened. And then Caleb comes back naked. It’s like in the rain. This is almost worse because she names and all of a sudden, Caleb’s back and naked, and he is definitely like Bewitched. So you lost him and you found him? Yeah, and so they bring him in. He is. Fever’s got a fever. He can’t talk. Yeah, And what When he does talk, he’s whispering in tongues or something like that. Yeah, And he’s like they try to bleed him to cure him because, you know, that’s the cure for everything is bleeding someone and ah So that’s kind of where it’s at, its like slowly descending into madness. And then what happens is Caleb comes out of it briefly. He comes out of it to do the most disturbing thing he possibly could write because he’s like starting to yell out that the witches attacking them and and then it just descend. This is like the most madness that happens in the movie, because to set the scene, he contorts. Caleb is in in this bed, in the in the attic, like there’s a window over him, shining light on him and he starts the family spasming. The family is around him viewing this. Yes. Oh, mother and father on each side of Thomasina nose kind of at the foot. And then the twins are off to the side. They’re all there, Caleb. Start spasming and spouting off like craziness about this witch, and they’re panicking. And so Mother, father and Thomason and start the twins start mimicking him. They they start basically doing what he’s doing as he’s doing it. Kind of so they all start praying, like, try to do kind of a group. Let’s pray the devil out situation. And they’re all saying the Lord’s prayer. Accept the twins. Their tongue has stopped. Yeah, and they can’t speak and their life. So they claim I can’t remember how it goes. I can. And then it’s like she’s now. This whole time, the twins have been accusing Thomason of being a witch because at one point, the movie Thomas and got sick of their ship and was like, Hey, you bitches, Shut up. I am a witch, And if you tell anybody I’m going to get you. Yeah, and it was like a bigger sister. Well, yeah. Lighthearted, you know? Well, not lighthearted. A serious, bigger sister moment. But a bigger sister moment. Nonetheless. Yes. So they picked the worst time to act like this is like the crucible part. This is like the party crucible where the little girl’s air acting bewitched. And it’s at this moment that they decided to do that. But also, they might actually be affected. Well, they’re not effective. Very hard to tell. They’re basically probably being told by Satan to do this. It’s definitely a good trick to trick the family, Which is where Satan works is grayer. And and so the gray area, Bryce, And then Caleb is it doesn’t help. Like they’re praying, Caleb. Eventually, like, from when he talks about, he sees Jesus Christ and welcome you into his bosom and kind of like in ecstasy. Yeah. Like in in, like, religious ecstasy and dies. Yeah, he he basically says, Oh, Lord, here you are. You’re here. You’re here to take me. Take me, lord, and then and then just fucking dice. Yeah, And like in the most dramatic fashion you possibly can and you know what an act, man, This all the kids in this. All the actors, all the actresses. Brilliant, Fantastic. I can’t believe they got this out of what appears to be a 10 to 12 year old boy. So? So that happens. And then what? Just in very quick succession, William accuses Thomason of being a witch. And this is the greatest thing. We just watched it again. Thomason, you know, he says, like you’re a witch and she’s like, No, I’m not like, Why don’t why won’t you believe me? And he’s like, Tell me the truth. If you tell me the truth, we can get rid of it. Yeah, she’s like, she’s like, You want me to tell you the truth? And then she goes, is the best moment of nails him to a cross because she just points out like you did all these things, these horrible things to me. Like you let Mom believe that I stole this silver cup and you let her and you are terrible at farming. You took Caleb out in the morning and on. I took the blame for that too. Yeah, and ah, they she, like, points out these terrible at farming. He’s terrible at hunting the only thing he’s good at is chopping wood. And, like just all this, like laying out the dirty laundry and Lee unsaid bag. You want to talk truth, Let’s talk truth. And so he, of course, hits her and eventually Oh, and then she reveals. She points out like, Hey, your two twins are communicating on the regular with this goat and singing songs to him. So I think we all know who the witches are there these these fucking kids air evil and they’re lying to you. And so it’s kind of like a moment of realization for William. But in the end he puts Thomason and the twins into the barn. The remaining children nails him in there. Hey, nails like them in with wood planks and says, like we’re gonna figure this out. You guys sit out here because my wife and I need some time to think. And then the ending is just the most. It’s like the best delivery of this story because black Philip gets a man I could talk so long about this anti black bill gets out. Um, William confronts Black Philip the scene. Okay, the scene after he puts the kids in the barn. He’s like praying to God in, like despair. And he’s like, Just forgive me of my pride like I’m This is all my fault. Like I tried my best. Like, what is going on? Please save us. Meanwhile, in the shed, the kids are sitting out in the shed in the dark at night, and they hear something jump onto the roof. And then and then they watch it work its way, and you don’t get to see it. But they watch it, work its way into the shed with the And then Then there’s a scene of this old witch basically slurping, slurping milk out of the goats. Ted. Yeah, and this isn’t the other every time they show the which is great, because stroll which and they go on full on which cackle. Here’s here’s a clip, Theo. I love it. Okay, look, I just got goose bumps so bad. Yeah, it’s like, Oh, that is scary. That is frightening. Seeing a like evil. Dag, that’s like eating readily children. Definitely, definitely bad person. Yeah, so? So that’s all happening, Williams, like praying to the Lord and really, sincerely, like in despair. And then when this thing is such an interesting choice. Such an interesting choices as all the is like the family gets picked off one by one, basically black Philip gets out. It’s already been established like something ain’t right with Black Phillip and the horns on this go. Yeah, black Philip attacks Williams like stabs Um, like horribly in the abdomen. William is immediately bleeding from the mouth from this. He’s going to die now and he lifts up. This this act. It’s like the moment in sightings. Exciting. No signs. Signs where? Swear way, mayor. Like swing away, Merrill. Except instead of chopping down on black Phillip, this is such an interesting choice. And I love it so much he throws the axe down and then he says, I think this line is chills corruption. Thou art my father, and then he falls down. And then that the goat attacks Oh, yeah, pushes them into the wood pile and this giant like ton of wood falls on Williams. So in the last moment of his life and this is so significant in there in their theology he dies chopping wood. That dude he dies doing the one like in the one thing he was good at. So he black feel kills him. And in that moment, he basically submitted to write Satan. He said, Corruption, our my father. So he gave up. Yeah, and it’s like in their theology and in their belief system. That’s just it’s the worst thing, the worst thing you can do, like he evil one in that moment. And then it shows the mother she comes upon this scene and she sees she sees the shed that’s torn apart. And Thomason is basically passed out hanging out of the ship well before that, actually. So in the night that the which appears to the children, there’s lots of stuff that happens. And Kathlyn Katherine Katherine the mother, um, goes downstairs, and she’s greeted by her two missing children. Yeah, Caleb and Sam. And like a love dream, almost. Caleb’s holding Sam in the candlelight, and she’s like, Oh, my God, my children have come back to me and Caleb starts talking to Catherine in a whisper. Yeah, and it’s like, This is what you want. Yeah, it’s like we can we can come back to any time like kind of this thing and and Catherine, take Sam, and he’s crying. So he goes to breast feed her, and then it cuts to reality. And it shows this raven pecking mattered tit and, like, just really been. She’s in the throes of of motherly ecstasy. Like she’s like, Yea, I have my children back. This looks like Poland on her flash. Really alarming stuff. And then so yeah, then cut to, um, Williams dead. And Catherine comes out and she sees this shed. Or this barn is, like, completely tort apart. Like it looks like an explosion happened and all the dead goats around it. Yeah, and then it’s It’s just Thomas. And the twins aren’t They’re twins are gone. Twins like disappeared or something. It’s never talked about where the twins go now. Wow. I mean, the twins made a pact. You sing. I assume the twins are just gone. Yeah, well, I assume they’ve not not dead and gone, but, like they like, the devil got them. Yeah, And then Mother attacks Thomason. And this is another moment that just really is just this great payoff between the characters because it just ends in tragedy. And the mother is like attacking her and Thomas. Um grabs a knife like grabbed like some farm implement slashes her and then because her mother’s really attacking her, like really trying to do her harm killer And she she cuts her mother in the face in the face. Beats her, and she’s like It’s the most heartbreaking moment because Thomason, even in this moment, says, I love you. Love she so helpless in this moment, it’s basically everything in this movie is happening to Thomason. Yeah, she’s this innocent girl, true believer. She’s really trying to do her best, and it all points to her as being the reason for it. And it’s not right. So her mom is trying to kill her, and then she has to. She has to kill her mom to save herself, and when she does, you can tell a switch flips. You know, Rick Intel, because by then, everything gone have ordered her entire family is gone or dead right at that at that point and then So the the final ending is so Thomason in a daze, goes into the house and how to sleep and falls asleep. And when she wakes up, she goes back out into the barn and black Phillip is sitting by the barn just waiting for, and they both go in to the barn. They have a discussion, and she she goes to him and and says, like, you know, talk to me like you talk to Thio twins. The twins like, speak to me. Can you understand my English? And then this is the iconic moment in the film. I pulled the clip. I conjure thee to speak to me. Speakers had to speak to Jonas and mercy. Just I understand my English time and someday, Well, this won’t what can soak it. What’s it like with taste? But but British press? What’s that like? Yes, I cannot underline how great the scene is. It’s It’s so it’s so artistically done to the choices that they make for Satan. But I’m always really interested in depictions of Satan. Yeah, and film in an art. And this is one of the more interesting ones because it’s she’s talking to a goat. You don’t actually see the goat in this scene. And when black Philip quote unquote starts talking to her, it shows like the very tips of an actual man. Yeah, they’re so you see, like walking the other TSC like that’s the boots to great way to say it. You see the boots and then you see him like walk around behind her and he’s like in the darkness, and you can barely barely make out an outline of, like, a face or person. And he’s like just offering her the pleasures of life, you know? And just that the phrase wouldst thou like the taste of butter, and it’s so simple and back in those times that must have been like that is so you got some butter. Wait a minute. What? Well, I mean, you say butter. I don’t think it’s probably rare. I think that butter was like a thing. But to just eat it to talk about the richness of right. What he can offer is like, Do you like the taste of butter? It’s you like nice clothes you wanna live deliciously. It’s just such an interesting way to phrase that it’s beautiful and and then she submits. She’s like, Yeah, yeah, I don’t know how to sign. And he’s like he’s like, all guide your hand and then you see, like another outline of him, like kind of collect, clutching her like you don’t really see. You don’t really see him, but you get the impression that he’s touching her. It’s I honestly believe, that the only brace one of them or underutilized characters in in art is Lucifer or Satan like an actual, just a depiction of Satan himself. Like every time that they do it. There’s so much interesting stuff you can do, like, you know, if you go back in history to like Paradise Lost by Milton like the most interesting character. And that is Satan like That’s the only interesting one because like you got God, which is perfect. So boring, boring. You got Adam and Eve, which are perfect and innocent, which is boring. And then you got Satan That’s got beef. Yeah, and in perfect and and And Has intelligence. Yeah, you know, like he has, like, that’s what he gives to Adam and Eve. He gives them the gift of intelligence. You have the ultimate evil, ultimate intelligence. He knows everything. He’s basically like God any. And he has. He is also powerful, yet he’s he’s the bad guy to God’s good guy. Yeah, yeah, No. So anyway, before we get into the themes on this. I do want to give a shout out to Dust. And Goebel, who does who has given us some great artwork for Pumpkin Head and also now for the witch. It’s ah, you can check out his his artwork for the witch. He he drew, um, black black Philip for us and and it’s ah, I think it’s, I think, his It says the witch lived deliciously. Yeah, and it’s beautiful and you check it out. You should check him out. His instagram is at D Goebel. That’s G o E B E l 00 on instagram. You check out his ah, his art. And you know, if you have, if you have professional artwork needs or if you have, like, fan fan stuff that you want, want done, I’m sure he can. You can help you out to get a hold of him. Yeah, big thanks to you. Really, really awesome. That is very, very generous toe. Help us out with the artwork. And so, yeah, this let’s let’s talk about the films where I knew that this was gonna be a long episode, because there’s so much to talk about it. It’s so interesting to meet like each each one of these points, like I could talk about Caleb and his dealing with hormones. And, like attraction. I could talk about William and his like struggles with faith and trying to support this family. And, like every single character, is interested. It’s E. I mean, even the titles Interesting. The two V’s. I looked up, I looked up. Why it was why was spelled the vich V v i. T. C h instead of the which apparently, in this time in, you know, the early 16 hundreds. W. Was not in common use. Yeah, they didn’t have it, so they made it with two V’s. Yeah, and it’s like a German thing, too. I mean, like, I think it’s also just a German pronunciation of the letter W so that just six to the bank then, like spelling, was not standardized. That’s something that we don’t have. Like even even in like the 18 hundreds. Spelling was not standardized at all, especially in American English. So that just speaks to the effort’s gone forth to make this, you know, a true period piece. So there’s a bunch of themes in this that I’d like to at least touch on one of which is this is a strongly feminine or or feminist film. To me, I This the shame that that that women are made to feel about their body and have been, is so is so prevail int prevalent, relevant, relevant in this in this movie and and being and the the Thomas and being blamed for everything taking on all of the yet and also like the value or superstition of the value of a woman. Two men to where it’s revealed at the very end. When the mother is attacking Thomason, that this whole time she’s like You’re a slut and you’re you’re trying to seduce my son and my husband away from me. It’s like this undercurrent of like sexuality our hour of the three of being of being a female and and, you know, this is almost the Adam and Eve Eden story told in reverse. You know, it’s like at the end instead of at the beginning. She accepts the knowledge she does the deal with the devil. You know, she and and she’s what she’s given in return is freedom. Like now she’s truly free. She goes out into the woods. She’s naked. She no longer has to has to worry about being ashamed of her body. She rises into the air. That’s the ultimate freedom. Being able to fly like she’s. She’s done with this life of being everybody’s bitch of of being, you know, blamed for everything. And now she has the power. She’s the one who and by the way, the witches in this movie have all the power throughout the whole movie, most true, like they are in control the whole way through there. And they’re the female force. The other one I wanted to talk about so that I find the most interesting about this. This this film which is which is which is, um, you know, in a time where women, you know, historically were were burned at the stake for being what they weren’t in this movie, that which is actually do exist and they have the power. Yeah, the other one is nature versus versus order, you know, chaos and order. Right? Which is which is, um Yeah, that’s also kind of a part of the the lore of the devil on dhe witches. Right, is that it’s very based in nature to right that is the true at a concept of Satan is that he’s the Lord of Earth. Yes, like God is the god of the heavens and everything in the universe. But Satan is put on Earth to rule, like the worst impulses of man and of nature, right? Like And that’s that’s kind of It’s so interesting because because nature is cast as evil and nature as well as we know, nature is not evil. Nature just is. It is there. It may appear evil and very harsh because that’s that’s the world, and I can see how someone would construe it that way. But ah, but this trying to eke out into the wilderness and carve your order into it does in this situation does not work out there trying to trying to force the land, to give them what what they need. But the witches, they’re doing just fine. Living basically in the land like they’re like their hovel is just a hill that they carved into the land. And they’re just stealing babies and rub them all over themselves, doing doing fine, like they got everything they need. Yeah, obviously the land will provide babies for them to mash right rub on their body. Yeah. When you need to mortar and pestle yourself a baby, just go on, Get one. Satan’s there for you. He’s got you covered. Uh, yeah. Did you? Oh, and the other one was Everyone in this movie purports to be everyone being the family Everyone in this family purports to and hopes to be so pious. But the whole way along there, they’re lying. There’s all these little lies and all these little imperfections that make each one of them. D’oh! The mom, the dad, the the brother, The cyst, like they’re all like the sister messes with the twins. She shouldn’t have done that. Like every one of them is deserving of some sort of retribution. Yeah, I mean, this is like, Okay, so I’m locking my Christian brain or unlocking kind of a theological part of it. This is a theme that I found really interesting Is the closeness of sin. Yes, that it’s right. There were always trying and everyone’s in perfect, but they’re trying so hard to be perfect. Pretty much everyone succumbs except Caleb Caleb. Yes, he does. It does like he doesn’t run away from the witch, but also, you know, he’s kind of bewitched and like he’s lustful. He’s also preyed upon by the witch. But when he comes back and he he has the kind of a deathbed moment of redemption, like he accepts the Lord and his Lord and Savior. And when he dies, he saved like that is, that is the day that the heavy implication and everyone else succumbs. And the most heartbreaking one is William, that he is the pillar of strength and the family. And in the final moment, like the moment on his, he’s going to die. He could kill Black Philip. He almost made us with this acts that he’s like, you know, swing away Merrill moment and he decides like he has. He decides to let a happy decides to let it happen, and he’s not even really worked upon by the devil. It’s just literally his despair. It would just be easier to give up. And in that moment he decides, and it’s so so be it a close. So in that theology, and in that that those rules of like what? What you say on your deathbed or like any given moment, your decision can lead you to damnation. They all decide to go down that road even though all of them are pious love, Homer. They’re good people, too. It’s not even I can’t even say that They’re necessarily hypocrites. Even Williams actions therefore the best interest of this family. He’s not like lying for the sake of lying, his lying to try toe to try and save. Whoever is in the is in the crosshairs of the mom at that moment. Yeah, he wants to like a very good reason. His his wife is despairing. Yeah, about this lost baby. Trying to smooth things is a bad time to come to her and say, like, Hey, you know this treasured cup like we really got to sell it right now. So he’s trying to, like, go through these actions to try to protect yes, the family, both his wife’s emotions and his family’s well being. So even like the hypocrisy unquote unquote that occurs in the family like it’s all well meaning it is all and and it’s just, you know, I think it’s a great example of it is in our nature to sin. You know, we way we are, there’s no way to escape it, right. It’s very hard. Even Caleb, who is basically sinless, lust after his sister a little bit and feels remorse for it. And it’s to do the people of that time the prospect of witches and black magic and Satan’s influence. And even like when you put it in that context. For modern viewers, it’s still terrifying. Yeah, and it must have been terrifying to them back then. Oh, my God. Specter of evil magic and which is working against you. You’re in a new land with new diseases, new shit. Noo noo animals like you got you left your family behind and across a huge ocean like it’s just amazing that you’re even here And now nature is trying to get you, and the only way you can rationalize it is there’s got to be fucking watches after me like this point. I’m just insane. So the ending, ending, ending is Thomas in, You know, signing Satan’s book and walking into the woods, and it ends in this black mass, and it’s really a beautiful ending It is, And it it’s probably the only depiction that I know of of what is historically described as a black mass and the pictures that you see of a group of naked women and witches floating in the air in a circle and Justine ecstasy because the kind of the lower behind witches is you signed Satan’s book and you become his concubine more or less like you are a witch. If you’ve had sex with Satan like that’s what historically that means. Is that okay? Yeah. Hey, that that woman’s a which I know because I think she fucks Satan who, like that’s quite an accusation. Yeah, and ah, that’s really interesting. Yeah, And you know, by you’ve been through this, like, following up on this feminine, feminist sort of agenda of the whole thing, you know, she doesn’t have to be scared anymore. Now she gets to be the terror, you know? Now she accept ce it and revels in it, and it never, never like it never shows the bad side of being a witch other than, you know, mashing up babies and rubbing against yourself like the whole part of the lore of Satan is that he is a deceiver. And whatever deal you make with him is a very bad deal on your for you. Are you saying it’s sweet? Are you saying Bryce that it’s sweet to be a witch because you get to kiss little kids? Is that what you’re saying? No, I’m saying, like it doesn’t show the bad part of being a witch. I’m disgusted by you. That is disgusting. I guess I’m not being clear on what I’m trying to say. But you I think of the undercurrent is like she she submits, she becomes a witch, and the audience is left not only with the with the, um, aftershock of what happened with family, but also there’s an understanding that this is not gonna work out good for Thomason like this is still the bad choice. I mean, you know, who’s to say it seems like a sweet deal? Let’s go with it. You know, uh, corruption. Thou art my father. Yeah. All right. So that’s the witch fantastic movie. I mean, so final recommendations for this. I think everyone should see this movie. There’s some people that aren’t gonna like it. This is This is too heavy of a ride for many people for sure. Like there are people who will just not be able to handle the 1st 10 minutes of this. Yeah, and then it is just is not gonna end up good. See, that’s the thing. I I feel like it’s such a great choice. Two put throw down the stakes right away, down the stakes right away And it like All right, yes. This is a super accurate historical drama, but there is, ah, supernatural, supernatural Hagee, which that’s gonna eat, baby. So for those people, that kind of like the more gory or, you know slash cherie horror, there’s, you know, there’s an undercurrent of that Got you covered. That’s so interesting. So it’s a great degree. I’ve had such a good time. Just dissecting it and going back over it, like this movie is. So is such a dead ringer for just a very satisfying, well made movie. Um, I’ll go back to a year after year. I really Well, is it true truth transcendent 10. And this week, as of So this is released on Wednesday and Thursday Friday, Robert Eggers is coming out with his sophomore film, which is the lighthouse, which was super excited about seeing. So so go see the lighthouse this weekend. Go see it. We’re going to be reviewing. And I think as Willem Dafoe in it, Yeah. Willem Dafoe and, um, the vampire from from Twilight Series. What’s his name? Robert Pattinson. Okay. Robert Patton. Oh, wow. It’s been a while. Hot minutes since I seen him. He’s been in stuff, Just not stuff you’ve watched. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes, um so, yeah, check it out. It’s streaming on Netflix. Watch this and then watch the lighthouse this week. Yeah. Okay. Moving on to tag lines. Years, tagline. How many you got? Four memory you got? I think I have three year four. Okay. Taglines is a game when we come up with alternate taglines for the movie that we’re reviewing, and I think I got some good ones. Okay, you go first. The witch. What’s now, like the taste of deez nuts. It was great because I did not expect it all like, oh, you corn ball. And then you said these nuts was on board. Ah, the witch eating babies and taking names. Uh, okay. The witch, loosely based on the actual life of Stevie Nicks. All right? The witch, the Oregon Trail. But instead of dysentery. You die from Satan. That’s good. The witch, which is all float down here. Look. All right, That one. Maybe not somewhere, right? I was trying. I probably could have worked that out better. It’s an it referenced people. Yeah, I get it, You know? Okay. The witch, the rave in the writing desk and the titty Well, cause she’s sitting at the writing desk and the ravens picking out her at her boob. I’ll get the reference. Is that a reference to something raving in the raven and the writing desk? Oh, yeah, it’s a It’s a It’s just a piece of cannon literature, that’s all. Um oh, yeah. All right. This will be a performance based one. The witch. You chopped 16 tons. What do you get? Another day older and your family is taken apart by satanic influences. Who would have thought that the which would have made for good tagline me? I mean, that’s Ah, it’s a great Do you have one last one? No, I don’t. I apologize, though I was thinking about it was like the raven and the writing desk. I think was actually the poem that the Mad Hatter gave in Alice in Wonderland. Uh, what is the raven and the right? Like, what’s the difference between what is the similarity between the raven and a writing desk? It’s like, what? I don’t know. Well, as it turns out, it’s the titty. Okay. There. You, um Okay. Next game. I mean, playing. I don’t game. I don’t know anything about this. What? Just called. What did they call, which is a witch, which is a witch? No music for this one. We’ll come up with something. Hold on. Hold on. Let’s play. Which is a way. Okay, so which is a Which is I’m going to give you two actresses, five sets of two actresses, and you have to pick which one has played a witch. Oh, that’s a cool game. Good for you. Look at you. Okay. Which is a witch? Okay. Sandra Bullock or Christina Hendricks. Oh, I know this for sure. Although Christina Hendricks would make a valuable is witch. Uh, no, Sandra Bullock was I believe in practical magic. Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I got one. Okay. Number to Michelle Pfeiffer or Kristen Stewart. Oh, that’s that’s Ah, away. I’m thinking of Dunst’s. But Stuart was the girl from the we just mentioned that Twilight Twilight. Okay. And eso Kristen Stewart and Michelle Pfeiffer. Miss Michelle Pfeiffer. I think Michelle Pfeiffer was in something about Salem. I’m gonna I’m gonna go with massage Michelle Pfeiffer, even though I’m sure Stuart has been in more witchy movie. Pfeiffer, you’re correct. Okay. And when l. Pfeiffer was in Witches of Eastwick? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Okay. All right. These air easier than I thought I was. When you were over, I was overestimating your ability to not remember actresses or move Well. Well, there you go. That’s what you get for. Underestimate. All right. Next is why known a writer or Neve Campbell? Oh, that’s yeah. I mean, so the I’ll tell. I’ll give you this. You’ve done an excellent job of pairing up women who seem like they should have been witches because well known writer obviously seems like she should have been a witch at some point. But no, it’s Nev Campbell. All right. Fuck. All right, well, we’ve already won, but here’s the next to ah, Alyson Hannigan. Or are very plaza. See, now I don’t know who Alyson Hannigan is. Can you help me out. American pie issues The one that says one time at band camp. Oh, hello And Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza again is a very Wynonna Ryder. Ask choice. But, ah, um I think given her the Alyson Hannigan. Honey, I think she was probably probably hit something in one of the It was she in any of the, ah, scary movies? I’m going to say her. Well, I’m terrible. Okay, You’re right. Alyson Hannigan played a witch in Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series. OK, Buffy, the vampire layer is what we prefer to last one. I hope this one’s the hardest one. All right, We’ll see. I’ll see. I’ll take it as the proof of concept if you don’t get this one right. All right. Milla Jovovich and Famke Janssen. Who’s Famke Janssen? Oh, you know. No, she was a model. And also she was Jean Grain. The original run of X Men movies. You would probably recognize her if you saw her. See now Milla Jovovich. Ah, star of all the resident evil movies and a few other movies I could see. And the fifth element? Uh, I could see her, like accidentally being like, ah, which you know, like by name. Like she plays a character who is technically, technically a witch the same way Yoda’s. I don’t know that for sure. We had what? A wizard? A wizard. But, um mmm. This is tough. I’m gonna go with the girl. Who? I don’t know, because I don’t think Milla Jovovich has played away. Damn it. Okay, all right. You got all you got, Every single fucking one of letting go. So Famke Janssen was a witch in Hansel and Gretel. Witch hunters? Yeah. Oh, I watched that. You did. I did see that. Yeah, well, she was The witch was not good. Shocking. Okay, So that waas which is what I should have waited. We have to attack that button, which is a So that’s our show for today. What A failed game. Will never play that one fucking again. I love that game. What are you talking about? I had a great time. Yeah, that one was kind of cobbled together at last second. It’s Some of those were so obvious. Like I was really hoping you weren’t gonna get Sandra Bullock. I thought that was gonna be the one practical Magic is okay. so a practical magic, fun, funny story. Uh, I think the first fight Carrie and I ever had was over that. So I’m dating my now wife like, 11 years ago, and, ah, and I’m over at her house. So I have an apartment. She’s living with her parents at the time it were in early twenties, and Ah, and I’m at her parent’s house because they have food. And I’m a bachelor who has peanut butter, and I’m getting tired of peanut butter. So I’m over at her house and, ah, practical magic comes on and cares like I loved his movie. And I’m like, This movie sucks. I’ve never seen such a visual response before or since. She’s like It does not suck. Get out House. Wait, what it does suck number one. So I dug in. Obviously, I was like, How can you say this movie doesn’t suck? Look at this movie, Boo And she’s And then she’s like, How can you say it turned into a big thing, you know? And then, ah, I think I probably charmed my way into getting to eat because I, you know, I could do that with older women. So I was like, Okay, she’s trying to make me leave because I think practical magic sucks. And then we ate a tense dinner or something like that, but yeah. Practical magic. Yeah. I still haven’t seen us fight. It’s a Sandra Bullock, and, uh, some other big notable no Tom Cruise is ex wife. Oh, Nicole Kidman in big notable wasn’t that Nicole Kidman was which twice she was in practical magic and Bewitched. Oh, dude. Oh, you know that’s something else. All right. So thank you for listening to the show special thanks to Dust and Goble again our artist for the show which graciously made our cover art for the post episode check out, um, the cover art for this, but also for pumpkin head. He did a great cover for Pumpkinhead. Parfitt has pumpkinhead. And what his name Hendrik Lance Lance Hendrickson like it behind the scenes picture of them of them, like together viewing a smartphone and like the put in a sharing some headphones, some ear pods watching. So great. Anyways, thank you so much dust in for doing that for us. That’s D Goebel 00 on Instagram. Yes, it’s at D g o e b E l 00 on instagram. Check him out. Also special things to all our patrons for supporting the show. Um, please, if you want to support the show, you could do it financially. But also you could do it just by sharing with a friend. Right now is the Halloween season. People are watching horror movies, pleased to share the podcast with other people. Also leave a rating on Apple podcast so you can get up to our goal of 200 ratings. Definitely do that. And then also, you know, check out our Facebook page or any of our social media. But mostly Facebook page, because Bryce has been doing 31 days of horror throughout October and 31 days of horror movie talk specifically, yeah, horror movie talk. So he’s been sharing past episodes that, you know, we’ll get you in the in the mood for the season. The last one that I shared well, not as of this of this post, but, um, the last one that I shared yesterday as of this recording was our review of Sleep Away Camp and I I revisited the first part of that. That is a great episode. A tragic boating accident. And it has, you know, one of my very, very favorite clips from that episode. Damn. Look at those hot children. I’ve been, like, I’ve been told by people that I should be very mad at you. Oh, for for this for free for constantly dragging that clip out. See, that’s the thing is the reason why I get to do that is that I just pulled the clip. Yeah, in that same episode, like, immediately after that clip, I say something that’s very, very bad taken out of context. But I wouldn’t do that to you. And I haven’t. Yeah, but that’s also Well, it’s hilarious because you’re my friend, or so I thought so. I mean, what what’s your opinion on children, though? God damn. Look at those hot children. That’s not my opinion on children. That’s taken completely out of context. I, uh Yeah, um, yeah, that clip like that. Knowing that in that episode I think you could have pulled a clip where I said, um, I said something about their hot little ass is Yeah, And then there is something else of that. Oh, yeah, They they call them Baldies. Where I come from, he’s where I come from. Yeah, Steven minute made mention of that on that post. Yeah, that was That was a really fun episode. You guys should go back and check out some of our some of our old stuff and check out our Facebook page because we will just give it to you. Last plugs. If you go to our website horror movie talk dot com, you’ll also see a button in the banner for our M Thio links to Amazon. If you click through there and buy anything on, Amazon will get a little cut of that. One more thing. Shutter. It is how you stream shudder. Ah, using HMT at. Check out the code HMT it. Check out to stream tons and tons of classic horror classics and new originals and original siris on Shutter so shutter dot com and HMT A checkout gets you 30 days of free viewing. That’s the whole month. Yeah, I’ve got my own personal 31 days of horror movie films going on right now and off of Shutter. I’ve watched Halloween four and five and we’ll probably be watching more some Jell O that I need to catch up on. I think they have. I think they have, like, most of the Hillary’s or serious on. They’re still, don’t they? I e don’t recall. I think they have the blob on there. And I would like to watch the s. So check that out. Thank you so much for listening. I know that there’s just a couple of you left. Um, you’re our favorite. You you right there. You’re the That’s listening. Uh, we will do unspeakable things for you because you’re listening to the very end. So we love you and we’ll see you next week Way. Love you.
Pumpkinhead Review
Oct 09, 2019
Pumpkinhead is one of the most straightforward and simple movies I think I have ever seen. You know that motif of, “made for TV movie” that movies like Tremors have? Pumpkinhead has that same feeling. While it does hold a place as a cult classic, that doesn’t mean it’s good.
Pumpkinhead can be found on Amazon and free on Hulu if you have Hulu right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqJ8Teiv6YY
Pumpkinhead Synopsis
Pumpkinhead is the story of a group of young twenty-somethings who are headed out to a cabin in the woods. As far as I can tell this is supposed to be set in the south, which is difficult for me because what isn’t shot on a soundstage is very obviously locations in the hills of LA.
This poster is a lie, he never touches a pumpkin!
As our group of kids stops at a small local store for some supplies, the rowdiest of the group inexplicably hops on dirtbikes and starts riding around doing sweet tricks. The son of the store owner is fatally injured by one of these sweet tricks, and all but one of the kids head into the hills to avoid having murder pinned on them.
The owner of the shop returns and finds his child mortally wounded, so he seeks revenge the only way he knows how – he goes to see a witch to put a death curse on the kids who killed his son.
Long story short, Pumpkinhead is summoned by the witch – he is a big ugly creepy looking …pumpkinhead. He cuts a swath of revenge through the kids and anyone who gets in the way of his revenge.
Pumpkinhead Review
Pumpkinhead (directed by Stan Winston) is a better than terrible slasher that has a great monster and a cult following of adults who were scarred in their childhood by this gruesome beast. As far as movie structure goes, it’s pretty clear what is going on at all times and why.
Unfortunately, it’s never interesting enough for me to care about anyone or anything. The lighting is intentionally on the pitch-black side of dark (to hide the costume), and the writing is barebones and interchangeable with any other crappy 80’s slasher.
Here at Horror Movie Talk, we try to see things as they are, putting down the nostalgia glasses and looking at horror movies to compare them honestly. We won’t pander to you, or your childhood, and only minimally to our own (we hope). Pumpkinhead is a bad movie. What it brings to the table is an easy to understand storyline and a pretty great monster, along with a memorable name.
While you may remember this movie fondly, I think only the most die-hard horror snobs will go down with this ship to be seen as a “true horror fan”.
My Score for Pumpkinhead
3/10
Pumpkinhead Spoilers
This movie is about as barebones as you can get. I won’t go into astonishing detail because it doesn’t exist.
A good looking couple
At the start of the movie we get to see a flashback of Ed Harley as a little kid. His family is enjoying a nice evening in, and their neighbor comes to their door screaming about something hunting him. They decline to let in this neighbor and avoid being killed.
Dirtbiking Gone Wrong!
Cut to present day, and Ed (Lance Henriksen) has a kid of his own. Ed runs a local shop. Some rowdy twenty-somethings show up at Ed’s shop for some supplies, and the rowdiest of the bunch just can’t contain themselves – they MUST dirtbike NOW!
While these ruffians are performing sweet tricks, Ed’s son is fatally wounded by dirtbike antics. All except one of the kids escape, Steve stays behind to look after Ed’s kid.
Revenge Via Witch Inspired Pumpkinhead
Ed heads over to the local witch, as you do when you are seeking ultimate revenge on a pack of ruffians. She warns Ed that revenge comes at a terrible price, but he is willing to accept the charges. She sends him out to retrieve a dead body at the most insane graveyard ever.
The witch is so gross, she might as well be pumpkinhead
When He returns, she uses the blood oh his kid and him to resurrect this dead body into, you guessed it, Pumpkinhead.
Pumpkinhead Does The Thing
At this point the kids are feeling remorseful for, you know, murder – buts it’s too late. Pumpkinhead kills them. Yeah, it takes a while, and yeah, it’s boring. Every time Pumpkinhead kills, Ed has visions of the kill from within his own head, as though he also has a pumpkinhead…
The Twist
https://youtu.be/b2hhdMiOTOE
Ed decides he can’t stand watching Pumpkinhead’s rampage and starts trying to stop him. He injures himself, and we see that Pumpkinhead is injured at the same time inexplicably. Now we know Ed and Pumpkinhead are linked. Ed tries to kill himself to end the spree, but ultimately Tracey kills both Ed and Pumpkinhead.
Ed is half man, half pumpkin
Final Recommendations
You may like this movie – that’s fine! Cult classics are cult for a reason; they posses something that keeps people coming back. If you haven’t seen this, don’t bother unless slashers are your bigtime jam, and even then, probably don’t bother. If you dig crazy monsters, ok maybe. The real reason to watch this is to say you have.
Halloween II (1981) Review
Oct 02, 2019
Halloween 2018 would have you believe that Halloween 2 never happened. But it did happen! We watched it. And we’re going to talk about it god damn it!
Halloween II Poster
Halloween 2 can be found on HBO Now/Go right now, but is also available to rent on Amazon or anywhere else that you do that type of thing. Here is the trailer:
https://youtu.be/RCiuZ9MvdJs
Halloween 2 (1981) Synopsis
Halloween 2 picks up right where Halloween left off. Michael Myers disappears from the lawn after being shot by Dr. Loomis 6 times. Why do I remember it was six times you ask? Because Dr. Loomis reminds us every time he is on screen. Michael Myers continues killing the youth of Haddonfield in a deadly game of peekaboo with the audience. Now you see him, now you don’t. Wee!
Review of Halloween II
This film tries to recapture the moody and dread filled allure of the first Halloween, but doesn’t ever really deliver. Most of the interesting parts of the original were leading up to the killing spree at night when the shape is stalking Laurie and her friends. In this movie, it’s just the third act of the first film the whole time. Efforts are made to tack on a story and motivation to fill out the slasher. Dr. Loomis babbles about the philosophical and historical nature of Michael’s evil, and there’s also a shocking revelation akin to Empire Strikes Back! Other than that, character development and plot is pretty thin in this movie. The only character we really care about is Laurie in this film, and she does nothing for most of it. However, if you enjoy kills, this film delivers them at the slow and steady pace of Michael Myers.
Score of Halloween 2 (1981)
5/10
While not a resounding endorsement, it’s more of a confirmation that this is an archetypal slasher.
As previously mentioned, Dr. Loomis is really here just to spout off about how many times he shot Michael Myers and wax philisophical about the nature of Michael’s evil.
Did I mention the time I shot Michael Myers six times?
A lot of his dialogue expanding the lore of the Halloween franchise. When the word Samhain is scrawled on the blackboard in blood, Dr. Loomis explains the significance.
https://youtu.be/0PUCi1hJLlc
Later on in the car with his colleague, he explains the festival of Samhain as a druid ritual involving human sacrifice. Mentions of witches and ghouls might be there to set up the expanded halloween universe we would only get to see in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.
The opening titles
One of the coolest parts in the movie is the opening credits, the jack-o-lantern opening up into a skull will probably haunt my nightmares.
Boo!
The first part of the movie subverts expectations quite a bit. The first opportunity that Michael Myers has to kill someone is an elderly couple, but he ends up walking away with their knife and murders a teenage girl instead.
Also early on, there is a fake out death of “Michael Myers” that later is found out to be just some random kid.
Of course we killed the killer in the first 20 mins…
The Hospital
The bulk of Halloween 2 (1981) takes place in a hospital. From the looks of it, an abandoned hospital. However, this doesn’t keep the skeleton crew of seven of so doctors and nurses from being there.
I mispoke. Doctor. There was one doctor in the entire hospital. A drunk doctor.
How many reasons do you need to move away from Haddonfield?
Deaths in Halloween II (1981)
As with any slasher, there are several interesting deaths:
Death by claw hammer
Death by boiling someones head
Death by scalpel
Death by needle in the eye
Good old fashioned knife-stabbing
Being Blowed up
Pacing
The pacing of the Halloween movies feel really slow compared to modern horror movies, but it does a good job of keeping your attention. This is done mostly from the novelty of the kills, and certainly not from character development.
Laurie Strode is Michael’s Sister
Laurie is in this movie, but only is in scenes for about 20 minutes of the run time.
Her main purpose, other than continuity, is to lend her character to the films most shocking spoiler: Laurie Strode is Michael Myers’ sister.
Yeah. Meh.
This came a year after Empire Strikes Back, so the cynical part of me says that they were just ripping off the idea. But the idea was easily retconned in later films. In fact the 2018 Halloween completely disregards this film.
The Ending of Halloween II
There is a final standoff between Michael, Laurie, and Dr. Loomis. Laurie ends up blinding Michael by shooting him in the eyes. This results in the iconic image of blood tears coming down Michael’s mask.
In the end, Michael gets blown up by a kamikaze attack by Dr. Loomis.
We see Michael burning to a crisp laying motionless on the floor for several minutes. The film goes to great lengths to communicate finality. However, nothing resurrects villains better than earning potential. Michael Myers and even Dr. Loomis star in many of the later Halloween films.
Final Recommendations
As previously stated, if you are a fan of slashers, this is a must see. It is an archetype of a classic slasher. Thin on story, but thick on kills. It’s an excellent follow up to the original Halloween.
Transcript for Horror Movie Talk Episode 65: Halloween 2 (1981) Review
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Goto multi mental mortgage dot com slash hmt Equal housing lender Licensed in all 50 states. A. M M. L s Consumer access orig number 69 69 Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny Horror Movie review. Show your panel of expert hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hansen, who holds a phD in spook ology, and Professor David Day, the foremost expert in Scare No nose. New theatrical releases always get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and whole. Horrible. Uh, whoa ho is like a do cadi or something. What were you just now? And I’m David Day Welcome. Welcome to our little show. Check us out at our website horror movie talk dot com. There you’ll find links dollar, social Media and past episodes and our blog’s on or movie topics. We’ll talk about our latest blog’s coming up, You should know, and we want you to know that we post every Wednesday So please subscribe And, more importantly, leave a rating if you like us. If you don’t like us, leave a rating like you like us. Anyways. We’re trying to get to 200 ratings by the two year point of the podcast, and we’re coming up on month 15 something, something like that. So we got a ways to go. Um, also, if your ah wanting to add a little more positivity into your life, check out the positive a cast by David Day, a daily short podcast. 3 to 5 minutes of little nuggets of positivity that you condemn posit in your brain. Right now, I’ve been focusing on my Siri’s, continuing the series where I just look around the room and try and find things within the room to spin positively. I was talking to an old friend and he said It’s like listening to use describing it to his wife. And he said, It’s like listening to what? Adam? What can’t Adam complain about? But in reverse? What? What can’t David talk nicely about, huh? All right, so anyway, let’s get onto the show. We got a great show today. We’re gonna thio today to kick fuck out in. Trust me. We’ve got a great show. Great. Fucking fuck. It was really It’s a really good show. Once we edit it today to kick off, October will be talking about Halloween. Two more like Halloween. Boo. Thesis is the 1982 Halloween to not to be confused with the Rob Zombie 2009 Halloween, too. Yeah, I believe so. So every episode we start out by giving a brief review and our score for the movie. We score on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being a miserable dredge where it makes you angry. Five being a completely average film that hits all the expected marks and 10 being so good that it transcends genre boundaries after we give our score will get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into what we liked and hated about the film. And then later we’re gonna play a game called Attack of the Rotten Tomatoes game. Oh, Lila. And this is a themed one. It’s going to be Halloween versus Nightmare on Elm Street. Oh, we’re gonna pit the two franchises franchises together and you have to pick which one scored higher on run tomatoes. Yeah, Okay, that’s cool. I I actually that’s that’s it. Use that nightmare on Elm Street. I I just got done a now hour ago. I just got done watching. Ah, nightmare on Elm Street. Three Dream Warrior An hour ago Way started watching it last night, and then we fell asleep. So Okay, picked it back up in the morning. You say you got up like five in the morning. That’s right watching We’re committed to horror movies here. Horror movie talk. That’s right. Just 24 7 were watching horror movies. Even though we only review one a week, It’s It is October. We? It’s time to start watching horror movies 24 hours a day. I don’t know. A few people know this, but that’s what we do in October. All right, well, let’s get into the movie. Halloween 2008 would have you believe that Halloween to never happen. But it did happen. We watched it and we’re gonna talk about it. God damn it. Yeah, Here is the trailer. I shot him six times. I am not Universal Pictures. Presents Halloween. Two more of the night he came home way. There was nothing within him, neither conscious. No reason that wasn’t even remotely human. Some kind of a joke. I’ve been figured treated a depth tonight way. Tell Mr Garrett we’re having trouble with. There is no place to hide. He will always find you. It’s a Celtic word Remains the Lord of the Dead Weight. We’re still here. We’ll be with you. Wait. Two more of the night e came home. What? Halloween. To Maura of that type of thing. Okay. A trailer was rid Ebru. Ridiculous. It was absolutely absurd. And the audio, I mean, yeah, it’s probably a lot more effective actually. Watching it, I would assume there’s just a lot of shots going off. Well, Pau, Pau, Pau, Pau Pau will provide the the link to the YouTube. Speaking of the of the trailer on the post in the episode notes. Speaking of shots going off, I gotta warn you, Bryce, I’m awfully gassy this morning, and it is it is a totally different brand. Last night, my wife was remarked is saying, I’ve never smelled that out of you before. I hate it. So we’re just gonna play a game? Yeah. I mean, we were We were talking about this yesterday on steam. Check on in Really steamed check. Real steaming hot steam chat. Uh, yeah, both me and David are experiencing a weird digestive moment. I won’t go too far into it, but just to let you know, it’s it’s no wonder we don’t wantto time offend the delicate sensibilities of of our audience. But we have some very beautiful female listeners. Yeah, that I just don’t want to upset, but we’ve been taking some hot shits. I like really hot. Like like shitting stomach acid burn. Okay, let’s just let’s just dial it back. And so telling David how it felt like my anise was being digested. All right, thank you very much. This disturbed David. It’s not That disturbs me. It’s just that I don’t I’m just not interested. Just does not want a picture. My acid swollen. Yeah, well, there it is for everyone. We you know, I don’t complimenting our listeners and how beautiful some of the some of the ladies are. I’m sure we got beautiful Mente love this shit. I’m sure we got a really beautiful men to, uh, wait, Magnus, That’s that’s for damn sure. Where was he from? Sweden. Yeah, Swedish god of a man. And for some reason, he likes the show. I don’t know what we did. I think we should We should do everything in our power to make Magnus a, uh, an Internet celebrity. Uh, I don’t think it’ll be that hard. It’s not that much of a stretch, you know, it’s just some guy in Sweden. Pretty much anyone in Sweden could probably become an Internet celebrity if they hosted some videos and deal with this place. Why is everyone so beautiful? I don’t know. Howling too. I mean, I got a bunch of Norwegian blood and I look like this, So Yeah, something about I am cold, I guess. All right. Halloween to ah, hello into Could be found on HBO now slash Go. Right now. HBO Now. Now, um, which is unfortunate because I just canceled my subscription last week. I did notice that. And, uh, so we had to rent it. And it’s on never Where else? Where you do that type of thing? Yeah, it’s just not on Amazon, but it is on YouTube. No, it’s on Amazon to rent. I don’t I don’t think it is because Amazon We watched it. Really? It refers me it z It basically tells me, Hey, you got a go ahead and subscribe to HBO. Go. If you want to watch this movie is what it says. There’s a couple options you could subscribe to HBO go or rent it or buy it. That’s weird that it doesn’t even offer me the option. Amazon is weird because it’ll have duplicate listing right of the same movie, weirdly inconsistent, and sometimes it’s free. And then you can find another version that’s not free is really annoying. So, uh, going to picks up right? Where? Halloween. The 1st 1 left off. Um, like, literally minutes after the first of the three movies called Halloween, Right. This is the sequel of Alan. Um, Michael Myers disappears from the lawn after being shot by Dr Loomis six times. Why do I remember it with six times? You ask? Because Dr Loomis remind you every time he’s on screen that he shot him six times in the chest. Michael Myers continues killing the youth of Haddonfield in a deadly game of peek a boo with the audience. Now you see him now you, don’t. We? This film tries to recapture the moody and dread filled a Lear of the first Halloween, but doesn’t really deliver Doesn’t ever really deliver. I don’t think All right. So gassy. Jesus. Get me a real rough. Don’t wave it toward. You’re gonna don’t wait. If you’re me like loud descriptions of your butt, I’m gonna wave Wow! God! Oh, bad Describe it, isn’t it? Isn’t it unique? I’m stopping breathing, man immediately. Isn’t it unique? It’s gonna sweet describe it for the pod and taste it for the pod. Do it. Well, it smells like shit. So there’s that. Okay, um, but most of the interesting parts of the original were leading up to the killing spree at night when the shape is stalking Lori and her friends in this movie, it’s just the third act of the first film. The whole time efforts were made to tack on a story and motivation to fill out the slasher. Dr. Loomis babbles about philosophical and has about the philosophical and historical nature of Michael’s evil. And there’s also a shocking revelation akin to Empire Strikes Back that will get into in the spoilers. I’m sure other than that character development and plot is pretty thin in this movie. The only character we really care about is Laurie, and she does nothing for most of it. She’s only in, like, 25 minutes of it. Really? Yeah, yeah, I guess. I guess that seems about right. We could do get a lot of those ah e m t guys and their girlfriends, their nurses, a nurse, lots of disposable hospital staff, and, uh, Anyways, however, if you enjoy kills, this film delivers them at the slow and steady pace of Michael Myers. Yeah, this movie, man, Um, really know what to think about it? I I have remarked several times at this point. Now, just just remember, everybody’s different. Everybody likes different things, So just hold on to your butts. I just don’t I just don’t get Halloween. I just don’t get it. Like I get Friday the 13th. I get a nightmare on Elm Street. I really get child’s play, but I just I just don’t get Halloween. I don’t get what the allure of Michael Myers is. I get. I get Halloween one. I don’t get the rest of Yeah, sure, right? Yeah, that’s yes. Michael Myers is like a blank slate of Ah, villain. I mean, I guess so is Jason. I mean, I don’t even get Friday the 13th that much So So with So with Jason, he was made fun of, and then he was killed at camp, you know, and so he’s got a revenge thing going, So he’s dead. He’s huge. He’s got OK. He’s got the awesome looking hockey mess, which is kind of just bad at you know, it reaches for the bad ass. Sorry. You know, I got a big machete. You got a hockey mask. There’s just a bad ass component to that Mike Myers. He got a little steak knife and he’s got, ah, Captain Kirk mask on. And yeah, he’s very stoic, but he has. No, he has, as far as I can tell, his only motivation. And this is what a lot of people love about him is that he’s just a murderous psychopath like That’s it. There’s nothing more. But that’s so boring to me. And Freddy is so cool. I mean, you just can’t be Freddie for cool, you know, in terms of in terms of shit that happens in in the movie, like so many things are possible when when your medium is dreams. Yeah, I mean, Michael Myers is It’s a different thing. It’s more of like a concept. It’s kind of like it where it’s Penny wise is the the personification of beer. Yeah, Michael Myers is kind of the personification of just pure evil and red. Yeah, just inevitable death. But by simplifying it to that extent, it loses it for me. But so that’s just my opinion. I mean, that’s like, I think that’s the allure of Mike Michael Myers is that and it does it better in the first film of showing that it’s like this faceless being in. Yeah, it does not betray any motivation at all. It’s just he’s there, you know he’s gonna do something. What’s doing there? What was he doing there? What’s he doing behind those sheets is standing. My, he’s There was a lot of shrubbery play in the 1st 1 is a lot of him standing behind next to behind around trouble. Yeah, Like I said, it’s It’s a deadly game of peekaboo, deadly deadly game anyways. Ah, my score for this film. I thought it was perfectly average. I did not particularly like it. I didn’t particularly hate it. I watched it. I get it. It’s Ah, five out of 55 out of 10 for me. Sorry. Yeah. Um, yeah, I’m gonna I Yeah, I mean, I think I give it maybe a six because it was somewhat more entertaining than ah, lot of the films I’ve raided a five. Um, there was some nice boob ege. Very nice, and not that that puts it over one whole point. I’m just saying I’m just saying it does kind. I’m just going down the list here. But I mean it in that it was literally the third act of the first movie the whole way through. It did a admirable job of doing exactly that, right? It was the third act for an hour and 1\/2 right? It’s interesting. What? How? They tried. Thio tried to expand it. Yeah, Yeah, it it felt a little stretched, but yeah, but so, yeah, if I have finally attend for me, uh, if you could just bring your energy down. Looks like one Scotia way. We’re talking about a nightmare on film Street and and how successful they are, which is another podcast. Let me Don’t listen to them. No, don’t. I know you can listen to both. There’s room enough for us in them. Yeah, I think I think anyone listen to this has probably come across Nightmare on Film Street. But again, as I’ve talked about before, the one thing that we don’t have that other really successful horror movie review podcasts have is that while number one they have a woman, they have the female perspective. But, um, the two most successful ones to me are dead meat and nightmare on Film Street, which both feature very young, very, very good looking like core scene looking couples that are very high energy and and work well on YouTube. And ah, we’re not that. And I’m not I wouldn’t describe Mia’s high energy. Well, I mean, but here’s the thing, though, is, um I mean, you’re right, especially especially when it’s something like this, where I just like, yeah, I don’t care that much. Like I think other you know, entertainers, people trying to entertain people with the podcast or probably injecting a lot of energy and excitement about the film throughout. Yeah, just finding the sunny side of watching this film. Yeah, but I feel like I don’t know. Ah, a lot of my energy. And this is why I had to start the positive. A cask Segway. Ah, lot of my energy I get from being angry, you know, right and and I’m good at it. I’m like there’s no one better at being angry or spiteful than May. And so when a movie wastes my time, I feel like you do make up that energy. The worst thing that you can be if you’re looking for a lot of energy out of me is average right, Which this film is. It’s just super average. And you’re not gonna get much. They’re just not fucking anything. Really? Okay, Cool. Yeah, like whatever. I mean, you if you just say it’s a slasher, like you understand the whole the entirety of this movie. Yeah, This movie is ah, high quality, early version of the very trimmed up, well put together slasher. This is you know, this is this is a blockbuster slasher movie, and it’s one of very first ones. Yeah. Um okay, well, let’s Ah, talk briefly about how you guys can help out horror movie talk and probably help out yourself. First of all, let’s talk about her. Patri on. I’m just going to say that we have new tears coming soon because I think that it might be changed by this episode. Release problem like on the cusp of releasing some new tears. So we might be talking about that next episode, but check it out on patri on, you’ll get access to exclusive content and ah, little perks for our patrons and we love you. And thank you for becoming a patron to those that are are a horror movie top founding members, members member, all nine of them. Plus 1 10 Yeah, uh, one of them’s not. Yeah, now founding member. He’s just being generous and dropping. Dropping a little. What was that? That at your phone was that unfriended Dark Web? All right, this is going to want also. If you want to support the podcast, go to our website horror movie talk dot com. There’s a button in the banner for Amazon. If you’re gonna buy anything an Amazon, click through on that button and then we’ll get a little slice of whatever you pay for on Amazon. Talking about horror movie talk dot com We have some recent blobs that you can check out. We’ve got a new writer that’s churning out Cem Cem good content. We gotta block on Scary Doll and Puppet Horror movies and also a blogger on funny horror movies. So check that out and share that on your social media. So you get the word out of that horror movie talk. Yeah, thank you to Kimmy, who wrote those and check her out at at the Horror Lounge. Also, if you’d like to support the show. We got shudder you had. So it is the Halloween season. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but October’s Halloween month it’s not just the last day. Oh, yeah, that’s right. It’s Halloween month. And so what we do on Halloween month, we just stream horror movies. And what’s the best way to do that? Head on over to shutter, that’s S H U D g e r dot com And check out all of the amazing streaming, the huge list of streaming shit that they have all about surrounding horror. And, ah, and to give you some of that list. Here we go. Bryce is holding his nose because he doesn’t like the smell of my farts. So we got creep Show, which is a show, a new original show based on the George Romero movie creep show. It’s a shutter original Siri’s. We also have Korean horror movie The Wailing We Got VHS to the Changeling, which I believe you viewed and said it was me. We got terrified, which is one of my very favorite recent terror fists, and we have an episode on that. If you check out our past episodes, yes, we? D’oh! Also, we got the original Halloween is available on Shuter Hollowing for the return of Mike Myers have going five The Revenge of Mike Myers Re animator Hell Raiser We got a ton of queer horror titles If that’s your jam we got Texas Chainsaw Massacre Demons by our addario are Gento demons to black Christmas Shutter Exclusive Phantasm remastered That’s the original Phantasm remastered. And then we got Henry Portrait of a Serial killer which we didn’t episode on and have not released yet Knighted Living dead Couso which is amazing fart movie traders The new binge puppetmaster little list, right, Mandy Summer of 84 It’s all on shutter, so enter HMT it check out and you can get the whole month free. Do it. Um, who was the other thing? Also, they’ve got, like, a really cool original content. I mean, creep shows original, but also, I’ve watched several things that they’ve put out. They’ve got, like, the Joe Bob Briggs. So yeah, the drive in Joe Bob Briggs at the drive in. And they also have a really cool doc on Ah, black horror movies. Yeah, you are. Orin. Worry should check that out he was. Yeah. Shudder. So patri on Amazon and shudder. If you wantto support the show or if you just wanna mail me a check, I’ll receive that. Yeah, well, that would do. We do cash checks, money orders. All right, let’s get into spoilers. Spoiler section. All right, you That was David, but it was not. That is a lie. All right, so, um, Halloween, too. He just He just looks at me, blinks once and then says Halloween too. And then, like, he kind of goes off into another place where he doesn’t have to think about how Going to too much So, yeah, Halloween too. Likely said, it’s It’s just an extension of the first movie. Um, but the hospital. Bryce. How could it be an extension in the first movie if it’s in the hospital lately? Different. Um, what this movie features is lots of Michael Myers slow walking towards people and people not figuring out how to get away from him and also him surprising people by stabbing number, you know, murdering them. The There was a few moments in this movie where I where I was frustrated with Michael. Well, there’s sped up a little bit you could have. You could have had her. Anjali, you’re capable of moving a little faster. Well, now that he was shot six times the least in the heart, so s so it’s got that happening. And then the rest of the movie is Shoot is a showing, Dr Loomis, just spitting knowledge. And, like, philosophical on esoteric stuff about the nature of evil on Michael Myers in its It feels so tacked on. But that that was true in the first movie as well. Yeah. So if you like that in the first movie that he’s got plenty of it here. So it’s It’s funny. See them like Jax Jax Epazote juxtaposed. Jessica disposed until, like, just normal people so relevant. The first element prevail in the first guy that comes out toxins like What’s going on? Uh, trick or treated to death tonight? You know what death is? I’ve been trick or treated to death tonight. You don’t know what death is. All right, guys like load. And if you were that neighbor who’s like Are you serious? I’ve been trick or treated to death tonight. And then the guy responded. You don’t know what death is be like, Okay. Thank fuck you, buddy. Get off my lawn. All right, asshole. Get out of here. I’ll go find someone else to talk to is obviously a trick or treat. This is obviously a treat. This is This is like the version of Lake, um C s I Miami. Uh, David Carradine. When he’s like, I guess he was trick or treated to death. Except now and then I guess he was trick or treated to death. Yeah, he made the motion to put his glasses down. So instead of the who going Oh, you got you got a good old John Carpenter. Been trick or treated to death tonight. You don’t know what death is. Just picture Dr Loomis putting down some shades after he says that. Um, probably the coolest part of this movie is the intro. Yeah, the credits. The jack o lantern with the skull inside is really cool looking. Um, yeah. I’ll tell you what the Halloween movies air really good for is inspiring other better. Uh uh, No, but yes. Also know is inspiring Cool, vintage jackal and turn carvings. Because I last Halloween, I had a blast mimicking the the Halloween from the movie poster Jack o lantern. That’s on the movie poster. You know what? The big sharp knives for teeth? That was a fun want to do, and this one has. And then they have, like, one in the credits. They have, like jack lanterns, that air just kind of there. There’s something like very child like a child. Cut this, but also like a little off and sinister, which is great for Pump it. Um, there’s a couple of times in this film that it subverts your expectations. I mean, that’s just part of the slasher genre. The 1st 1 comes when Michael Myers goes into these old people’s house and you’re thinking, Oh, there’s gonna be the first kill old people, old people gonna die. Nope, he just takes This is what his notes say. They say there’s a way I read. Um uh oh. Old people gonne die. Nope. Eyes literally. What? I have written down People gonne die. Nope. So he doesn’t kill the old people. But then he finds another house with a young team. This is gonna be the goofiest episode ever. Uh, yeah, I’m a little punch drunk. Maybe. How late did you stay up? Was upto like 1 20 What’s the matter with you? What do you do? These things was you know, I gotta do it for the pod, man. You can you get all week I’ve got of things. E have lots of things at night. Um, Okay, so, yeah, there’s there’s some killings and then the bulk of this movie takes place in the hospital and Laurie strode. Jamie Lee Curtis’s character has taken to the hospital or were introduced to the handful of staff in this giant hospital. Like seven people work at this hospital tonight, and I don’t know. It’s like a 200 room hospital. It feels like it feels huge. I can’t imagine how big a hospital in rural in Illinois in the seventies or eighties Waas. You know, Illinois. I thought it was New Jersey. Haddonfield, Illinois field. I know you’re thinking a camp Crystal Lake is in New Jersey. All right. Um, so, yeah, it takes place in this hospital and, like, there’s a lot of just observations you can make about this hospital. Maybe I’ll save some of it for later. But, um, one of the important things is that There’s only one doctor. Yeah, and he’s a drunk, apparently. Well, just came from a party and his like Mm hm. Let me, um, give you a shot. He’s got a steady hand. I mean, right for a drunk doctor is a pretty steady hand, but Laurie is begging them not to put her to sleep. And of course they dio. But it doesn’t amount to anything. Yeah, I don’t know why they would need to put her to sleep. She doesn’t go into surgery or anything. Just has, like, establish. Yeah, they knock her out with, like, general anesthesia. And then what? Like they give her some stitches? It’s like, Wow, that’s a little a little intense. So lots of lots of stuff happens in this movie that happens in slasher genre movies, which is just nonsensical plot points, just like now she’s asleep. Oh, but now she’s running away because the killer’s after an it makes it adds tension or something like that I’m stuck in, is stuck in this door that’s closing and better take off my shirt. Bring out the sweater puppies. Um, so they’re the first part of the movie. They’re kind of hunting down Michael Myers. And there is a fake out, which is one of the most obvious fake outs because it’s within the 1st 10 minutes of the film. Those cop cars is great, like pins. Some soap in it. Well, it pins Michael Myers between her house car in the van and explodes into a ball of fire. And you’re like, Well, there we go, We got him. We have a first, uh, Loomis’s like he’s he’s getting ready to shoot this kid that he sees wearing a wearing the same mask Michael has. And there’s a big struggle over over trying him trying to shoot this kid. And I thought that was pretty funny. And then, yeah, And then instead, he’s saved from having to shoot the kid by a police officer who turns this child into a fireball. It’s great, basically probably chopped the kid in half between the cop car and Savannah that he hit. Yeah, like going like 40 miles per hour down like a residential street. It was an insane explosion that would not have happened, and then just immediately the bodies like burning up to a crisp. And so it’s like, I mean, is there anyone that’s going to think that that’s actually Michael Myers. They all did, because movie, who would end up being just some teenager with the same mask? Also featured in this movie is lots of first person camera work showing Michael creeping about mostly in the first part of the movie. They don’t do it as much later on, but they try toe to bring in the elements that worked in the first movie. Most of the first act of this film fills in the audience with the main plot points of the first film. Mainly that Michael Myers killed his sister when he was a young child and has been in a mental institution for his whole life. And then yeah, like, 10 or 12 years, something like that. Yeah. And ah, he recently escaped and had a murder spree, and Laurie Strode was at the center of it at the center of it. But why do we know why my he’s so fix it in on Laurie? Well, I’ll tell you, this is the spoiler section, right? Well, get ready for the biggest spoiler of Halloween too. Glory strewn his Michael Myers sister. Wait. Is she Are you seriously didn’t catch that. No. Oh, my God. Are you serious? Yeah, I remember them at toward the end. Being like sister, sister, sister. It’s to a twister, but I don’t. Ah. I don’t remember exactly how this it was really quick. Well, there, first of all, that wasn’t actually quick, because are you just trying to make me feel better or is this theirs too quick parts? And there is one where, um, it shows Laurie. And she’s remembering a moment from the past where she’s visiting some kid in the hospital. Yeah, and I mean, it’s pretty obvious at that point that, like, she at least have some sort of relationship with Michael Myers when she was younger. Okay, whatever. The kid isn’t a you know? Yeah. Hospitalized, Sure. And then later, briefly in the car when the doctor or nurse came back to get Dr Loomis toe because the governor apparently told him that he needs to go back to the mental institution for for I don’t know why I like we don’t want anyone from the hospital there in Haddonfield, because reasons so they come and come and get him. And in the car, she’s like there’s there’s something that you need to know. There’s a file that was hidden away because his parents didn’t want. I want people to know we should have told you. You know, this this doctor that’s been on Michael Myers this case for 15 years or whatever and ah, then she said, Laurie Strode is Michael Myers is sister okay? And then he’s like, Well, that’s why he’s here. He wants to finish her off because he killed his other sister and now he needs to kill. This is so in a way, it actually makes sense. Like I get it. I like it. It works, but also in the interest in the barest possible sense. It gives Michael Myers at least a reason to be going after this particular girl so hard. Um, but also it feels super tacked on. And this is a year after Empire strikes back. So it’s not too subtle of a rip off of, like, shocking reveal his family, a member of family relationship. Okay between the villain and the protagonist, I get where, where that that connection is now. Yeah, I didn’t even fucking catch that. You didn’t. That’s like the whole I didn’t even catching about this movie. I mean, it’s it’s weird what we latch on to write, because I could get so much meaning out of movies where there is apparently no meaning it off. This is true, and, ah, and yet there’s very important. It really speaks to the fact that is not an interesting movie. Like, I felt like I could go on autopilot for most of it, and I did so Basically, this movie was supposed to be the end of the story, so it was supposed to be like a self contained, too movie set to and done, and they’re going to do more Halloween movies. That was different topics so harrowing. Three was actually you know, Season of the Witch had nothing to do with Michael Myers. Michael Myers was dead, right? Right. And that’s kind of a trope In the spring, we said, no matter how much you kill Michael Myers at the end of these movies like, yeah, he’s still gonna come back. And that’s common among slashers. Yeah, but so John Carpenter was going to do like a which based one, and then after that one, he was gonna do a ghost based one. And there’s all gonna happen on the day of Halloween, Right? That was gonna be the through line. It was gonna be more of an anthology kind of thing, right? Right, Right. Halloween three did not work out, even though apparently is a better movie from this one? Yes. So I’ve heard we have a blogged. Keith wrote a blogged about it about how season of the witch was basically not given its due. Yeah, and just Ah, financially, it was a failure. And so they decided, make the Supreme Creator decision to be like, Well, let’s just bring back Michael Myers because that’s what people actually and they have ever since. I mean, it’s they should have done whatever, but But this was supposed to be like the last film. And then they have you know, nine other films just enter this. No, I guess there’s eight other films after this, But even in this Siri’s in this timeline before to rebooted, I think there’s feel more so Wow, this idea that Laurie is his sister, I think, is common among most of them. They play really loose with, like Theo timeline for Halloween because the the reboot. All the soft reboot in 2018 completely disregards this film, right? Like because it’s very problematic toe. Have Lori be his sister. They just have to read con that out or just ignore it and just say, Never mind. None of those movies happen, right? Let’s start again. So anyways, but that’s that’s an important point in this movie. Glad you’re paying attention, David. Like you don’t miss that. Yeah, I missed nothing. Um, okay. So lots of horror movie tropes in this movie, first of which, I mean, other than just Carol killer, Um, that unstoppable. What? What are some of the troops you see in this movie? So there’s the phone lines that get cut immediately. So, uh, the killer knows this place like the back of his hand. Uh, he’s he’s ah, he’s so familiar with the hospital that he’s able to find and disconnect the phone line, Uh, before anything else happens in this room. And then, um, the incompetent security guard. That’s got to be a trope, right? The, um yeah, I was gonna say the in terms of horror movies, sex at work. Slashers would be a lot less scary if people were actually competent at their jobs. Yeah, yeah. If this guy wasn’t a gigantic bumbling, you know, 50 year old, because the security guards like here, take this. I’m gonna talking on the radio on the girl that he hands it to, like, you know, some 18 year old several. She’s like, I don’t know how to use. And then he’s gone. It’s like I got to check this thing out. You got my back with this radio. She’s like, how does it just leaves walks out? Um, this is like that. That cop and, uh, in health test or he’s like, Yeah, you’re the guy attacked you. But But what am I supposed to do about it? What am I supposed to do that? Yeah. There’s lots of people in masks here. Check out our view of health test about this time last year. Fabulous slasher. Um, so the the one notable thing is that the pacing is ah lot slower in this film. So seventies early eighties slashers are noticeably slower with even even Michael Myers just walking like we’ve already said, Who’s he’s the slowest villain. He’s by far the slowest, and, ah, and you know eyes. But interestingly, you know, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I believe the original Halloween. Uh, yeah, for sure. And faster paced. A CZ far is, Ah, lot of different things. It’s a It’s just a much more disturbing overall premise to May. Yeah, there’s like a combination of liking the ah cinema verite, a kind of stuff from the seventies where it’s trying to be a little more realistic, a little more normal paste. And so it’s. It’s noticeable in this movie that a lot of time, it’s just really quiet. There’s literally just nothing going on. It’s a person standing there for a couple seconds before making a motion or doing something and yeah, its silence. And then, like a little alarm bell goes off or something. What did you call it? Cinema verite? A. What’s that? It’s like very today is like truth or something. So it’s like truth on film. It’s like a way to it. It is a style I a style. It’s just, like, kind of a feel, like a lot of movies in the seventies, like it got, uh, very just it got out of the way in terms of like, lots of cuts. There were longer takes more silence in the dialogue, just more time to let everything breathe. And so that’s definitely something that’s very obvious in at, particularly in the first Halloween. Yeah, so that’s that’s kind of noticeable. If you’re a fan of recent horror movies like you’re gonna be like, yeah, even even the sound is a lot more subtle, like the jump scares. Like it’s not like, really, really loud. So I just kind of like, Well, yeah, the cat one cat one The cat jumps scaring this worked on me by the really Oh, my God. Oh my gosh, I was like Because Because normally, like, ah, Halloween movie is not going to throw a big jump scare at you like, especially in early one. Yeah, I see. I wrote down slow us jump scare ever because it just felt so I’m used to be. I’m used to being hit over the head with it now, especially with, like the conjuring movies and modern jump scare like factories of movies like they have a formula where it’s, you know, quiet, precise and effective, like dread filled music. And then, yeah, yeah, a big, loud sound So you is that this was literally just a guy looking in the dumpster and then account going. I was like, No kitty, Bad kitty. Oh, Speaking of which, bad kitty, my cat brought a live mouse into our house and dropped it on the floor and watched it run away like you fucking bitch. Like I tried to smash it. But it it Ah, it escaped my smash. And, uh, and then I like I It’s just a baby mouse. And look, I know how you’re feeling, Pita. I know you’re out there. I know you’re coming for me, but there’s a mouse in my house and this mouse is turning my house upside down. I see it under the couch like I get up in the morning. It doesn’t know where it is. It’s an outside mouse. It’s like, What the fuck is going on? It’s a baby kind of. And it’s s o. I chasing around and open the door and try to shoot it out. If I can, I’ll smash it. But really, I just hope it runs away so I don’t have to take its life. Did I ever tell you my great white hunter story? know what? Thistles. What? I turned my great white hunters story. Okay, like your Moby Dick move. I’ve gotta I’ve gotta paint a picture here. Um, so, yeah, we had a mouse in the house every once a while, our house would get a mouse that would come in through kind of either. Like, there’s this of this event or something, but it would get through close to where my parents, garbage disposal or the trash compactor was and get into the trash compactor and scurry around in there, and we’d always have cats, and so they usually take care of him. But this one mouse was in our living room, and I noticed it, and I could see it was kind of trapped. It couldn’t, Uh, all I could do is, like, go behind the couch is like it was a sunk down like a step down. Yeah, it was like a tiny, tiny mouse like you’re talking about. So it probably could have jumped out, but it was It was kind of going around the same path. And then I realized that recently I had purchased something. A blowgun up. Logan. Oh, yeah. I never told you this story. I think I think this is starting to become more familiar. So it’s like Bruce Willis and Pulp Fiction when he spots The samurai sword was like the blowgun and, like, blow guns air. Not very useful. It’s kind of fun for like, 10 minutes. You’ve got, like, you put a needle into a tree. Yeah, and you got, like, a little target or whatever, but then it’s got all these acute trauma where you can you can buy the needles that’ll take down like a squirrel. You by a needle that could take down, like something a little bigger, maybe like a bunny or something, the different tips and stuff. So I had, you know, just the normal Neil tips. And then there was one that was, like, just kind of had a flare on it at the tip, like like a like a metal flare. It was like someone hammered it. Okay, Yeah. Yeah. And so it does a little more damage if it goes in. And then the ones that actually use most were like the little yellow pucks that you just shoot it. So wait. It’s a needle with a flare in the needle tip. Uh oh. Okay, so it’s yet just does a little more damage, like not gonna not gonna come out. It’s not just gonna go straight through. It’s like a barbed hook. Yeah, um, but I liked when they sold sold it to me the little yellow pucks that it shoots out. They sold it as like, Well, this is you can just stun him. Like if you find a squirrel that you don’t want your bird feeder, you just shoot it with one of these. It’s not gonna kill him just on him, and it’s gonna go off. I called those. I called those garrett fodder. Yeah, this’d what I used to shoot my brother with. And then you just say, And then I remember he made a note to not let the squirrel see you, cause you want it to not associate your presence with it. Just wanted to associate their commercial that you’re talking about know about it affair or something like that. Oh, so this is a guy pitching this thio Sam ways I had this blow again. So I went and unwrapped the blowgun which was on my sword racked by the by the way, Bryce’s secret. Shame is he used to collect mall ninja swords like a fucking geek. There’s no shame. So they weren’t from the mall. They’re from various country locations around the world locations. Anyways, it took out the blowgun and I went down. And the paint the picture. This is like 14 year old me So still like riel Real chubby fat will just a fence. And I’m in, like, just my tighty whiteys. Yeah, No shirt. Now we’re talking, so I’m like, full Rambo, like, made of native native mode. And I take out my blowgun and I look back the back crack of the couch between the couch and the wall. Nash’s see my foe, huh? And then he spots may start for running away, and I blow and he jumps into the darkness. Just is the needle goes out. I did. Did you get him? You got him? Yeah. Who needle went right through him and pinned him to the ground. Holy shit. That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t like killing stuff, but I will. And I appreciate the ah, the tam. The marksmanship. Yeah, that’s incredible. So get yourself a blowgun. Did Ah. Did you feel like? Did you feel like a lot of guilt, or were you just like fucking badass right now? Were you like that, Chubby? A 14 year old in his tighty whitey? She’s, like, on top of the world. I was so amazed that I hit him like the chances that I Yeah, I hit him were so astounding. I don’t practice this. It’s not like this is my Yeah, Yeah, And blow guns air. So surprisingly like intuitive. Like it’s pretty easy to Yes, it market takes the concept of Look where you want to throw, right when and it and it makes it even easier because it attach. Is it basically to your nose, right underneath your nose. Where is your sights? But yeah. Yeah, so, um okay, I have probably felt a little bit of guilt, but I was so elated that I that I got him and I showed everyone like, Can you believe that I got this fucking mouse with his blowgun? I’m not gonna lie. I’m proud of you right now. Like is probably It’s probably the best moment in my life. Did he die? And I have three children. Did he die right away was he was dead. Okay. Wow. Yeah, That’s a That’s a clean shot. It was a humane death. I mean, it went right through. Face the chest, chest. All area. Chester area. Yeah, that’s Ah, that’s a common Adam and Emma Tom Mickle term. Anyway, let’s get back to this boring movie. Um, so lots of deaths. So, I mean, that’s what people come to these movies for is like the interesting death. So there’s a claw hammer death. Yeah, which is cool. That’s the security guard that gets killed. There’s some needle in the eye deaths. Yeah, I don’t like those specifically don’t like the needle in the eye deaths. There’s lots of ah, scalpel deaths. So most of this film is Michael Myers with a little tiny scalpel, which is a little less intimidating than a giant butcher knife. Yeah, he Although he does perform some of his most common party tricks like, you know, stabbing you in the back with a scalpel instead of a big, gigantic buoy number and then lifting you off the ground with that scalpel. Yeah, I don’t think it’s Koppel would do that. Wouldn’t you Shut up? Um, also a scalding death. Yeah, So this one is Ah, this is this Death was meant for boob jiggles. Uh, that’s Ah, that’s what it was meant for. A girl is telling herself off and ah, her Michael Myers. It’s like in a therapeutic tub, and Michael Myers turns up the heat to 11. And so it’s like it even has, like, a dial that says scalding as it’s going past it. And somehow just it’s so hot that it just burns off, hurt the first layer of skin, and it’s like sloughing off. Well, hang on, Uncle Myers. His hand is honest. I want to set this up a little bit here. So So she’s telling off. She’s, like, just gotten done fooling around with her boyfriend in the tub. She’s like she caught, puts an end to it. She puts the kibosh on that. She’s like, You’re not getting this tonight. I got to goto work, and so he goes to towel off in the other room. And where my ah, Michael Myers kills him and then, ah, And then, as she’s telling off next to the tub, Michael Myers enters the room, approaches her from behind, lovingly caresses her shoulder, and she’s like, Oh, you know, Sorry. Sorry, boy. And she’s like sucking on his hand. Yeah. You know what we’re like, like, just kind of on. Let me just touch you. Wouldn’t you, like, taste the blood? Or like, I just I don’t know, grossness like Michael Myers his hand. I don’t Guy that was with her just came out of the tub like, yeah, his hand would have been my at least clammy. I feel like if I was gonna suck on someone’s hand, I would be able to tell whether it was my boyfriends or not. Yeah, maybe just saying. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, she she Maybe she’s just maybe she just, you know, like, um so used to sucking on so many different hands that it’s just one of those things where it’s, like the back of her mind. But yeah, she really gave this hand a weird suck. And and then, you know, she turns around and it’s Mike Michael Myers, and she’s like, Oh, God! And then he takes and dunk, sir. Ah, bunch. You know, and, uh, and then get in Slough off her face and that. But Mike’s hand is strangely unscathed. But, you know, maybe, I mean, we don’t get a close up of the hand afterward, and and maybe it was maybe maybe, like the pre dunk suck wet his hand, put a protective layer of Survivor that would protect the fact that he’s holding company having her hair. Maybe it’s like like a glove, right? Like a hair glove hairs or what’s not overthinking other deaths of strangling death, just lots of lots of different. The way is toe kill people that Michael Myers coaster. Except, you know, the one defence is walking a little quicker than normal. Just just okay, just a little faster. So throughout the movie, they tryto had kind of like supernatural elements of they try and tack on a bunch of weird shit. Yeah, 11 of the elements, you know that they try to expand it is Laurie and Michael’s relationship. But then, also, Loomis’s here throughout just trying to kind of expand it into like a supernatural realm that he’s, you know, questionably undead kind of thing. It and then he sees the Michael Myers left like this, writing on a chalkboard and blood that said, Samhain and Loomis had this to say about that. What says it’s gibberish? No, that’s a Celtic word. Samhain. That means the Lord of the Dead. The end of summer. The festival off some aid. That’s Halloween, isn’t it? Oh, play that clip. Had a lot of background sound going on. Yeah, And then there’s this is him actually kind of explaining, Maura, about what? That festival is about to say. The black bag in the elementary school. In order to appease the gods, the Druid priests held fire rituals. Prisoners of war criminals, insane animals, learned alive in basket. By observing the way they died, the Druids believed they could see omens of the future. 2000 years later, we’ve come no further. Sam Main isn’t evil spirits. Goblins goes the witches, the unconscious mind. We’re all afraid of the dog inside ourselves. Please. Yeah, so I mean, it’s trying to expand it into into this trilogy into them. The next generations of this That won’t feature Michael Myers. Yeah. I mean, it’s very obviously like the hypothesis of this movie is like, this is Dr. Loomis is here to say this is kind of what we’re going for. Yeah, and to me. It’s kind of disappointing because if you can’t show that with the rest of the film, if you need someone to spell out, this is what we’re going for. This is like the Lord of the Death, and this is it’s the in country, unconscious mind and it’s blah, blah, blah. All right, I get what you’re I get what you’re trying to do. But it just leaves me saying to myself, Actually, Miss, please, you know when when you were playing, I got two things when you’re playing that clip and the high pitched squealing came in over my head phones. I thought I was hearing something from out outside and I had a panic moment. So that was that was fairly effective. If you watch this movie, listen to it on headphones and get a different experience. But then also Price, I have a question that I think you might be able to help me with, which is a lot of times. So you know, these big these big slashers get, um, you know, get big on the merit of the Creator. Right? John Carpenter, First Halloween. John Carpenter dirt, but writes and directs. Why? But West West Craven nightmare on Elm Street. Same thing. Why is it that they take it out of that person’s hands for the second movie all the time? The second, the third? They’re like, Yeah, John Carpenter can write it, but he was not going to direct. And what is that? John Carpenter didn’t want to direct it like I don’t know. I don’t think him and the other writer actually wanted to do Halloween, too. They were. They said no. Initially, I just read this on imdb. They’re like, No, the first film stands alone on its own. It’s a great movie. We don’t want to extend it because that would. And then you’re like, How about we give you more money? And John Carpenter goes okay, all right. And so they offered him more money and, ah, supposedly this was in the trivia. I don’t know if they actually saw into John Carpenter’s mind, but basically said that he made no money off of the first film. And so the second paycheck. And I think this is true of a lot of creators that have a really, really successful first film, that they don’t have a great deal because they’re unknown or unproven s o. They don’t make a lot of money off of the one thing that I just made a shit ton of money and they do the following ones to make that up. So John Carpenter was like, Well, I didn’t make any money off the 1st 1 and it made a ton of money. So I can kind of get my due by writing the script of this one. And, um and I don’t have to have my name attached to a terrible movie as a director. Yeah, just the writer. Just the one with all the concepts, right? So And it’s it’s kind of interesting when you say you’re not terrible. I don’t mean to say that this is movie. This movie is terrible, but like, if you were look at Nightmare on Elm Street to Yeah, it’s terrible. So So it’s Ah, he wrote it and tried to incorporate elements of some of the more successful, um, horror movies around that time. So apparently the director wanted to make it very much like the 1st 1 and John Carper to win in after that director’s final cut and added some scenes that were more gory because that’s what the kids wanted right in the early eighties. And so it’s kind of like a muddled kind of a muddled movie. I’m really glad I asked that question because this answers a lot. You know, I really isn’t always been confusing to me that why don’t you bring back the guy who did the work like, Yeah, this is the reason It’s good. Yeah, my, um, eso lots of things in this movie here and this is more, more horror trips, a lot of convenient just stuff that doesn’t make sense. And to a certain extent, it’s trying to be dreamlike, like there’s a lot of dream logic in this, where one minute Lori is catatonic. She’s like, See, she’s literally like, not breathing because she’s having a reaction medication and Michael Myers is coming for and you’re like, Oh, no, oh, no, She’s catatonic. He’s gonna get her. And then once Michael Myers opens the door and stabs, it’s just pillows. And then Laurie is now running away because because she woke up and you look just run away. Yeah, just in time, Yeah, Then the other one is like, glorious running away. This is the one. This is the one, like chasing that was the most ridiculous because it’s literally like he’s as far away from her as you are from me right now, which is like five feet. And she decides then to climb up some boxes and open a window and climb out the window after after watching him approach for a good 14 feet. Yeah, for very clumsily and slowly and Michael Myers, like, slowly walks up. And then he kind of waves at her in a way that Ricky Bobby does in Talladega Nights was just like, Don’t know what to do. A hand. I don’t know what to do with my hands, just like Michael might just close your hand. You’ll have her. I mean, I get what they were going for right? Which is which is all the girls in the theatre immediately go. Oh, he’s grabbing at her legs. Is she got but really What? It Yeah, What it really achieves is it makes Michael looks stupid, and and then my this is my favorite part of the whole movie. Once she gets out of that window, then she she’s in another part of like a storage room or something like that in the basement. And she runs around a chain link fence like an L pattern around a chain link fence toe where she sees an elevator and Mike Myers is hot on her tail, moving at the speed of smell. And he he is walking so slowly that she is able to get get in the elevator, goes down three Flory floors. She gets in, it opens the door, you know, agonizingly slowly, like an elevator does. And then it closes. You know, she’s like, Oh, God, impressing the door closed, his hand goes in the elevator issued, or she’s watching him approach over 10 feet while she’s in the elevator going, Please, please close, Please. Please. Clothes. And he can’t speed up one little iota. And then he puts his hand in the door. So you’re thinking it’s gonna open the elevator, but then he just pulls it out on the door. Close the only elevator in the world that does that just like out my hand. Yeah, so there’s lots of that kind of stuff. It’s strangely endearing, though. Yeah, again. In this in this hospital is the most I I think They’re working in an abandoned hospital, and no one told them. Well, hey, wait a minute. This isn’t the hospital with the patients things the old abandoned hospital down on the, you know, old hospital road for 1 to 5. Hospital road? No, for 1 to 6. No, it’s that hospital right there. It’s not this one. They followed the drunk doctor over there, just trusting you. News? Yeah. I mean, and it’s great. There’s actually a scene with one of the e m t s. And he’s all Listen, I can’t find anybody that’s gone. Mrs. Alice is gone. We gotta find Laurie. Listen, I can’t find anyone. Can you imagine being in the hospital that was literally just empty? See? And this is a question that I have to maybe some viewers who are listeners who are older than me. So I’m an eighties kid nineties kid, born in the eighties and, ah, same with Bryce. So we don’t really have Ah, good. We don’t have a good idea about what? You know, maybe middle America. You know, we’re talking Illinois. We’re talking Kansas, Oklahoma. Just good old corn fed motherfuckers out there. What was it like in like the seventies and eighties. Was this an accurate portrayal of the hospital in those toe? I I’m so curious. I just didn’t have accidents back then. They didn’t. Maybe maybe it’s not that they didn’t have accidents, but there just wasn’t very many of them. Or maybe they just let people die a lot of debt. There were a lot more deaths. Yeah, you know, Yeah, I’m very leery is likely. Completely empty. I think the only other patient that we saw was there was a couple babies in the nursery. The loneliest babies with no mother. See, never like they’re just sitting there like, Yeah, so yeah, it’s It’s just it feels dream like it does. Um, but if you’re going for, like, a realistic I didn’t Whatever. So, um, and then the end Michael walks through some doors to go after them. Well said, and the and then Lori shoots him in the eyes. But before she does that, he has to walk through some doors to get yeah, walk through some doors to get torn. Laurie has a gun that Dr Loomis gave and he shoots. She shoots him in the eyes, and then the blood comes out like tears. And I said, Oh, you made him cry for the little guy or Michael Myers And and then he’s blind. And Dr Loomis and Laurie on are on separate sides of the room and they figure out turning on the air is like I wanted them to say he’s attracted to the sound of air because they kept turning on the’s like air container tanks. Yeah, these big the other room, these big tanks containing oxygen and, ah, ether. But wouldn’t Wouldn’t they just fucking pass out if there’s a either just floating around. Instead, Dr Loomis lights a match in. They get blowed up, sacrificing himself. They have blowed up real good, like literally, just a giant fireball explosion ends really? Well, that’s that for sure. And it shows Michael Myers laying on his stomach like literally just burning for probably like a good minute. Yeah, showing them like seemed like it was 30 seconds or so. He is dead. Legally dead D E. D. Dead no more Michael Meyers movies. No, he’s gone. 100%. See is flesh burning office skull. We’ve cashed in this chip. It’s over. There’s just no more go home. There’s no way that they could make four more movies starring Michael Myers and then to re re imaginings. Yeah, yeah, you know, he was still like and also like, movies. Donald Pleasants is in the other movies, too. So apparently Dr Loomis survives as well. Well, there’s a There was a little trip to a burn ward, you know, had some second degree burns anyways, so that kind of ruins. I mean, that’s the thing with these movies, like you have to see him in the time because the fact that you know that they’re seven other sequels is like, Well, he’s still there like that means nothing. That ending means nothing. Yeah, gives it gives a little bit away trying to think. Have we seen any new movies that are going to turn into something big? I guess I guess I When I saw the conjuring, I felt, Ah, I saw that in theaters and I felt like, Wow, this there’s something here And then certainly there has been obviously, I mean, the one that I would point to that I bet would get a sequel is ready or not, but I don’t know how they would do that for how that would be a franchise. Well, I’m sure there are some mildly creative people who will make that happen. Yeah. Ready or not? Probably the best movie. Yeah, that we’ve seen recently. Yeah, for sure. I don’t think they’re going to make a franchise off of midsummer. No. Or hereditary. Now, what if they did make a franchise off of hereditary? Wouldn’t that be great? They feel they feel like I mean, you could he could do a sequel of Hereditary. Yeah, but, I mean, I would I would want it to be Ari Astor. Yeah. Um, yeah. I don’t know. Flashes. I think slashers do super well anymore right now. I mean, I guess Halloween 2018 made a ton of money. Yeah, and I thought there was gonna be I thought there was gonna be a sequel to that this year. Actually, is that next year? Okay. 2020. Yeah. Okay. Um, so, yeah, that was that was the movie lots of, Ah, stabbing. Lots of slow walking. Yeah, lots of ah, lots of scalp. ALS. I mean, it’s it’s interesting, because, like, if you were gonna watch the first movie might as well, just tack on this one, too. It just to see where that self encapsulated story where the original vision would have stopped. I don’t have a problem with this movie. To be clear, this movie does not suck. It is not a bad movie. No, In fact, I thought it was like I really do think it is interesting that it’s not like there’s no laughable parts or like, parts that I’m rolling my eyes out. It’s just very trophy. It’s like, Yep, that’s that thing. Yeah, and part of that is this is the like. This is the standard centre for tropes. Like this is where a lot of those started, right? So, yeah, we look at him. Now we go. That’s so hacky. Like a look at that hacky bullshit. But yeah, it’s hacky because it started it like that. This was this started a whole movement. And I do think it’s interesting that it that it literally picks up seconds after the 1st 1 and just carries out the rest of the night. Yeah, so yeah. So final recommendations, man. Uh, you know, if you’re doing if you’re doing a watching of of all the Halloween’s or something like that. This one is not one to skip. In my opinion, Yeah. So do that. This this Halloween click through our link on Amazon. Watch this movie on Amazon. Rent it. All right, please. Yeah. I mean, if you like slasher movies like this is I mean, obviously the Halloween franchise or something that you should definitely touch on. Yeah. One and two. Probably some of the most important ones on. So I think like out of them that people talk about theirs. Having one into There’s three. I think three is is Yeah, three. Notable in how different it is. But it’s not. I mean, it’s weird even include that in this franchise. It’s like its own thing, too. Yeah, but I think that’s why I mean, why, um h 20 this. It’s a lot of attention. Had some rapper in it in there. No, that was another one. Know it for sure. H 20 Definitely. I got it. Now. I gotta look this up. No, there’s one. Because that was 1998 99. There was Halloween. Resurrection had Busta Rhymes. Okay, Okay. I was thinking about Lep in the hood. Leper con in the Oh, yeah. Um, I think h 20 um I mean, the 2018 Halloween one got really good scores we’ll see about. Okay, so h 20 in the return of Michael Myers Got some good stuff. So I think, like, I think number three No. Yeah. So yeah, 12 and four and then skip to H 20 is probably where you should go. Well, in terms of like, the original, lots of people, lots of people. There’s a lot of controversy around the Rob Zombie remakes, Um, personally, it way too gross and, um, horrific for me. But, um, but they are notable in that some people definitely prefer the backstory of Mike Myers and why he is the way he is. And, ah, and Rob Zombie does kind of delve into it in his two movies. I’m looking at the cast for H 20 right now, Obviously, Jamie Lee Curtis. But other notables. Our Josh Barnett and Joseph Gordon Levitt. There you go, Joseph Gordon Levitt in 1998. Like coming right off 1\/3 Rock from the Sun. Joseph Gordon Levitt. So let’s play Attack of the Rotten tomatoes, Right, mate? Hey, that’s one of my favorite. That’s one of my favorites, too, because we have thio say rotten, right, because we’re too lazy to record it. Uh, okay. So, like I said, this version of Attack of the Rotten Tomatoes, we’re going to be pitting Halloween against Nightmare on Elm Street. I’m going to give you two one from each franchise. And I tried to param up a cz close to the years as I could. So you try to go like, like, one like like householders. And there’s a couple of them that are the same year, so yeah, you’ll see. Okay, So let’s let’s start with the first films, though. So Halloween 1978. Okay, the original versus the original a nightmare on Elm Street, which was in 1984. So that’s the biggest separation that we have. And we’re going off of the Taito Meter score. That’s the critics scores the critics aggregate score. Let me think here. Okay, so Halloween, which is so iconic that it’s, you know, arguably birth the slasher genre in and of itself. And then we have the original nightmare on Elm Street, which is, um, extraordinaire also extremely notable in that, you know, Freddie is probably the most iconic slasher villain ever. So, um, I gotta say, I think I think John Carpenter gets a little bit more traction with the critics than West Craven. So I’m going to say the original Halloween. You are correct. Oh, by Halloween. Got 96 down Nightmare on Elm Street at 94. So you in close? Yeah. You close? I don’t even think my logic for that stands up. I think that’s just anomalous thing. Yeah. Next we have Halloween four. The Return of Michael Myers, made in 1988 available on Shuter and a chipped A Nightmare on Elm Street. Four. Both four’s the Dream Master. Okay, so how in four? Directed by Dwight H. Little and Mark Cunningham And starring Donald Pleasants, Ellie Cornell and George P. Wilbur. You know those stars? Big names, Dream Master. It was directed by Reni Harland starring Robert Englund, of course, Lisa Wilcox and Danny Hassle. This is tough. Um, I have I’ve seen neither. I was thinking about watching Halloween four on Shuter. Um, but I haven’t yet, so I think for this one I’m going to go Halloween again because I have heard good things about that one, and I have not heard almost anything about ah, name and Elm Street for So that’s what I’m saying. You hear a lot about dream warriors Dream Warriors? Yeah, is three, but this is the next one dream Master. Um, you are wrong. Oh, wow. Nightmare on Elm Street. Four got 55. Okay, so just under fresh, I think freshest 60. Yeah, something like them. So it’s really split right down the middle for critics. Halloween four got 30% hoof. Um, yeah, which is actually more than to. I think two is, like, 30. So, um, a little, maybe a little better than the one we watched. Uh, might be interested in whatever. Okay. How in five. Revenge of Michael Myers Directed by Dominique Oh Thelen Gerard Starring Daniel Harris, Donald Pleasants and Wendy Kaplan vs A Nightmare on Elm Street five. The Dream Child in 1989 both in 1989 that when it’s directed by Stephen Hopkins Starring Robert Englund, Lisa Wilcox and Danny Hassle. The same cast His last movie, Dream Child fucked me up. It it is It is the reason I slept with the lights on from ages five or six until, like, nine. Not joking. Yeah, because I’ve mentioned this before in podcast. My family had pay per view because we had one of the gigantic satellite dishes in the eighties. And Ah, and this was on and, like, 90 or something like that. And I was just a little boy. And I caught, um, Freddie become birthing himself out of a woman’s like stomach, like with his claws on da. And that fucked me up, buddy. Like so just based on that, I’m gonna have to say, um, Dream child you are Could react. No, baby. Yeah. Helling, five. Revenge of Michael Myers got 13. Wow. And that is not, uh, nightmare on Elm Street. Five Got 32. Dang. Okay. Still not great. Not great. Not good. A 22 scarring for May, for sure. All right. Next in 1995 Halloween Curse of Michael Myers. This is Howling six Directed by Joe Chappell Starring Donald Pleasants, Paul Rudd’s and Mitchell Ryan. I’m really interested to see what a Halloween produced in the dead mid nineties looks like. Yeah, you know. And then West Craven’s new nightmare and was in 1994 so a year earlier. Directed by Wes Craven starring David Newson, Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp. Which is the girl from the first movie. Never heard One thing Heather Langenkamp is in dream Warriors. Well, never heard one thing about Halloween six, but I’ve heard lots of good stuff about a new nightmare. So I’m gonna say, Newman, New Nightmare. You’re correct. Yeah, this is probably the biggest spread of points. Wes Craven’s new nightmare Kind of a soft reboot. Yeah. Franchise got a 78 damn 2nd 2nd highest score for that franchise. And pretty sure, um, hello in six. Got a 606% power and red Poor Paul Red, Do you think Do you think when, like the howling franchises brought up in front of Paul Red, Do you think he’s like, you know, I was in a Halloween? Or do you think it was like, What? Oh, yeah, that seems like it’s ah, interesting franchise sixths. And that’s I mean, it’s strangely fitting that Halloween six got to six. Um, okay, so you’ve already got three. So you’ve won the game, but I got two more. Okay. Ah, Halloween Resurrection 2002 Directed by. Dick Rosenthal Starring Buster Rhymes, Tyra Banks and Jamie Lee Curtis. Damn Tyra Banks in her hottest nous. Uh, and who else? And Jamie Lee Curtis? Probably in her Hodess n’est staying And that was that was right after true lies. So what is it, really? I never I never saw true lies. But what is it about? What What is it about? Never seen true life. Okay, I just never have understood people like my dad would be like watching Halloween like he doesn’t watch horror movies. And he’s like Jamie Lee Curtis is the one more Ryan. What the fuck are you talking about? Why does everybody think Jamie Lee Curtis is so hot? Well, there’s a couple movies. There’s trading spaces. She prayed, plays a hooker in that one, and she’s got a nice bod. Um, true lies definitely shows off pretty nice bod like I mean, I get it, Okay, I totally get it. And you see, I guess I need to see true lies you gotta see truly. It’s like one of the best action movies ever made. That’s that’s why I’m just not interested in it. I guess. Yeah, it’s It’s like, Well, it’s James Cameron. Okay. Oh, I did not know that. We’ll watch that. Um okay. Versus our back to the game. Freddy versus Jason, which is 2003. A year later, directed by Ronnie You, starring Robert Englund, Can cursing her and Monica Keena. I went to see that in theaters with a bunch of my friends, and it was hilarious. I’m gonna say a resurrection. Was that the other option? Uh, yeah, I’m gonna say resurrection because Freddy versus Jason was terrible. And I’m sure critics didn’t even jokingly like it. Buster Rhymes did not pull through. It was actually Ah, Freddy versus Jason. That got a higher score. So Halloween Resurrection got an 11 hoof and Freddy versus Jason Got a 41. Wow, that’s a lot more than I would have expected. I would have expected 11 vs, like 14. Still not fresh, but yeah. Dang right. Direction must be fucking awful. Can you even imagine how bad it would have to be to have like to be up against Freddy versus Jason and be like, yeah, definitely friendly first, like, not even comparable universes apart. Also, I think it’s like lower expectations. If I mean Freddy versus Jason, it’s such an exploitative concept. That’s not like anyone’s gonna expect lots of introspective dialogue there. Anything in that movie? Um, okay. Last one h two Halloween, too. The 2009 version. Not the one that we reviewed. This one’s directed by it. Robert Zombie murdering Malcolm McDowell, Brad Dourif, which I think is the voice of Chucky If I’m remembering, Right and e, I think Brad am something. Something Anyway, I’m not sure. Well, now we gotta check now. We have to You have to check because Bryce has to be right all the time. Mark Hamill is the voice of new Chuckie. Yeah, Brander. Oh, yes. Yeah, I was right. Oh, so it is. So you know so, yeah. Brad Dourif was an H 20 k and Tyler Mane versus a Nightmare. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010. The Reboot, Directed by a Samuel Bear starring Rooney, Mara, Kyle Galle, Honor and Thomas Dekker. This is the 22,010 reboot Eso Keith wrote a blogged about this. And how the reboot not not necessary. Um, and I trust Keith’s opinion very much, eh? so I’m gonna go ahead and say, Robert zombies flick H two. You’re correct. Maybe. So. You got four out of six. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Ellen has a much worse track record than nightmare on Elm Street. Yeah, apparently not. That nightmare on Elm Street got better than average scores, but slightly better. Hey, I got a quick question for you. Of the what I would consider the original slasher. Ah, like the big the big hitters, I’d say there’s five, right? I’d say there’s Friday, 13th Halloween nightmare on Elm Street. Um, and I don’t know where the fifth, where I had the idea that there was 1\/5 but it’s child’s play be a child’s plays, is the other one Which of those of what you have seen thus far, Which of those Siri’s do you enjoy the most, Um and why? No, I think it’s kind of a tie between ah, nightmare on Elm Street and child’s play. It’s just more creative, like there’s lots of more ways and go with it. I think I think the villains are both, like about on par with each other in terms of interesting and and menace. Yeah, like I’m really appreciate child’s play And how how fucking disturbing that movie actually is like, and And I feel like I can get behind the comedy of all the rest of the child’s plays and the cultish kind of feel of it. You know, the runner up for me is definitely Friday the 13th though while I’ve only seen a handful of them, like specifically, the 1st 2 are so good. I really enjoyed him. Ah, lot. So, yeah, I think most slashers just blend in together and like, it just has to have an added element for me If it’s just a guy killing people. Yeah, I don’t know. Gonna fart on rice here. All right, let’s wrap up so we can have a hellhole with fart infested. We got to record the after pie. Uh, thanks for listening. I don’t know what it is about, and I just always assumed that this one will be a quick one, and then we hit, like, an hour 30 anyways. Yeah, it’s just the way it is. Well, we had to tell the great White Hunter story, so thanks for listening. I know there’s not a lot of people listening to this point. Hey, if you guys, if you guys want some access to some good content, I’m gonna tell a story on the after pod about how my wife fucked up our children. Really good. Um, not not. She didn’t mean is just a three year old that she gave a scary book, too, and thinking it would help. But it’s a good. So check out our patriotic yes, if you want that goto patri on and sign up for one of the tears that gets access to the after pods. Um, please. If you enjoyed the show, share this podcast with the friend. It’s really hard to discover podcasts. So if you like a podcast, it’s really important for listeners to share it with people and mention it. Also, we would love if you would leave rating on apple podcasts. You don’t even have to leave a review just a rating and would be great. Smash those stars smash that like button ring that bail. 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The Invitation Review
Sep 25, 2019
We streamed The Invitation on Netflix, where it has lived for quite some time. This is a movie that I enjoyed watching the second time around almost as much as I enjoyed watching it the first time. It’s tense, and feels strangely real – making it quite effective.
The Invitation Poster
Logan Marshall-Green looking the way I look at social functions
The Invitation Synopsis
The Invitation is a 2015 movie directed by Karen Kusama that follows protagonist, Will (Logan Marshall-Green) and his girlfriend Kira (Emayatz Corinealdi) who are on their way to a party that they have been invited to. The party is being hosted by Will’s Ex wife, Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her new husband David (Michiel Huisman).
The Invitation Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9kJV7c9eKA
A bevvy of Will’s old friends are also in attendance at the party, which, everyone agrees, seems weird. This air of weirdness follows the party through conversations and asides in bedrooms, kitchens, and lounge areas until we learn the reason for the party – to introduce everyone to this sweet new cult, known as The Invitation. Eden and David are joined by two personal friends, a flirty woman named Sadie (Lindsay Burdge) and a big, strong, man named Pruitt (John Carroll Lynch).
As the party progresses Will becomes increasingly skeptical and worried about the intentions of his hosts but no one else seems to share his feelings of paranoia and dread. Even when his hosts are caught locking the doors with a key from the inside, the party continues. How will this party end?
Short Review of The Invitation
The Invitation is an incredibly well crafted movie from beginning to end. It’s use of camera work, acting, casting, direction, soundtrack; it’s all intentional and skillful. This movie plays perfectly to me, the feelings of dread and seemingly unfounded, but strangely well-founded paranoia is right in my wheelhouse.
I think my favorite part of The Invitation is the discomfort that you feel in a party is so well intoned, and all of the acting matches so well with the characters and their desires/intentions. It feels real, and it feels upsetting, and I love it.
The only real criticism that I have of The Invitation is that the pacing slumps a teeny tiny bit in the middle, but I feel like it makes up for it with an incredible crescendo of an ending.
Score for The Invitation
10/10
What I Love About The Invitation
This movie takes a hard look at the human psyche, and at how we experience suffering and loss. It puts a magnifying glass on what we are willing to do to avoid the feelings of pain and suffering that haunt us throughout our lives.
It also does everything right.
Check Out Our Review of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
This movie is mostly quiet, which goes a long way to accentuate the feeling of doom and foreboding that they are going for. What soundtrack there is is mostly played on solitary stringed instruments, and boy does it work. The minimalist approach works perfectly here and this movie really can drive a knife through you with only a violin.
Lighting for The Invitation
See this warm lighting? Gorgeous.
The color palate and lighting on this movie are intentionally dim and warm. It feels like a cozy dinner party in a mid-century modern house, and it also feels quite extravagant. I love the lighting in this movie because it simultaneously suggests that you should feel comfortable and is able to pull off the “you can’t see well, and that’s mildly unsettling” vibe.
Casting for The Invitation
The casting in this movie is superb because everyone so naturally fills the role of their character that I feel like the events of this movie actually took place.
Two of the most important characters to cast correctly are Pruitt (John Carroll Lynch) Sadie (Lindsay Burdge). These are the cult members who no one but Eden and David know, and they are there for the express purpose of getting or making people fall in-line with accepting the cult.
Sadie plays an unhinged sex kitten so well that I have a hard time believing that Lindsay isn’t exactly that. And Pruitt is such an impressive force of a man to contend with that I now view John Carroll Lynch in a totally different light. He is well-known for his roles as the suburban dad character, or boss, but now I just see him as a terrifying man.
Spoilers for The Invitation
Killing the Coyote
The Invitation starts out with Will and Kira driving through the Hollywood Hills on their way to this party, and as they are driving the hit a coyote, injuring it. Never is there a dog, or coyote in frame, so for the squeamish, don’t worry too much.
I will say that, while I normally detest movies that kill dogs for an emotional rise in the audience, I think this works well to set the stage for the rest of the movie. It speaks to the theme of suffering present throughout the movie, and it tees up the a sense of unease when Will does the right thing and clubs the poor pup to put it out of it’s misery.
Arriving at the Most Awkward Party Ever
Will makes it clear to Kira and the audience in the car that this party is being held by his ex-wife and her new husband at her lavish family home that he and his ex once shared. Just knowing that tidbit, how could it not be an awkward party?
Somehow, the party seems even more forced and awkward than one being thrown by your ex-wife has right to be. Everyone present at the party is a friend of the ex-couple and seems to acknowledge the feeling that this party is a bit weird.
The Reason for the Party
Will meets Eden in the kitchen and she makes a declaritive statement that she is doing “much better” and is, in fact, more happy than she has ever been in her life – which seems to boggle Will. Apparently they share a deep-dark past. She says, “Pain and suffering are optional.”
As the group coalesces in the living room they are formally let in on the reason for the party – The Invitation. This is the name of a cult that everyone in the room recognizes as a cult. David (who we now know is a cult member) disputes the idea that The Invitation is a cult with a video from the cult (great way to dispute that you are a cult, right?).
David, Eden’s new husband, and Eden
The video details some vague explanation of how the human brain can heal and can be rewired to avoid trauma. It invites the watches to an enlightened existence – you know, cult shit. Then it shows footage of a young woman in bed who dies on camera! This visibly and predictably upsets the party goers.
The Two Friends of Eden and David are…Weird
Sadie and Pruitt are probably the best inclusion of characters into this film. They are the “x-factors” that make everyone wonder what is going on. Sadie is clearly there to be a sex kitten, meant to draw in wayward men and help with the inhibitions of worried women.
Pruitt is the muscle. But for what? Why would the party need these things? We don’t know until the end, but it can’t be good to have to have these characters.
Where is Choi!?
As the movie progresses Will receives a voicemail through the otherwise spotty cell service at the house. The message is from Choi, a character that didn’t show up to the party when everyone else did. Everyone has been offhandedly mentioning him and how flaky he is, so until this point it seems like the absence of Choi has been easily explained away.
Will sees David lighting a red lantern in the backyard, which is weird.
The message that Will receives is from Choi stating that he made it to the party early, and he will see Will there soon, whenever Will gets there.
Now Will is on high alert, and after he watches a video from the cult leader saying, “I know this will be hard but I can’t wait to see you…” Will knew everything was wrong.
Will Blows Up
While dinner is being served Will blows up and asks where Choi is. He explains that he received a voicemail from Choi and he should be here, but he isn’t, and “Why not!?”
At that exact moment, Choi walks in the door, making Will look like he’s nuts.
The REAL Blow Up
When the desert wine is being served, Will starts to put all the pieces together and blows up again, smashing everyone’s wine glasses and insisting that they not drink it. Everyone looks at Will in disgust, but this time Sadie attacks him saying, “You ruined everything!” It’s at this point that the movie flips the switch.
Look at that Tom Hardy looking guy (Logan Marshall-Green)
Sadie gets hurled into a desk by Will, bumping her head and being knocked unconscious. As one of the guests begins administering medical attention to her, everyone notices that Gina is passed out on the table foaming at the mouth having been the only person who tasted the wine. David executes the guest who is trying to help Sadie with a pistol, and suddenly the party is over.
As Pruitt kicks into high gear killing everyone in sight, Will and Kira do their best to stay alive.
The Bone Chilling Ending
When the dust settles only Will, Kira, and another guest are left. As they walk out of the house into the backyard and view the Hollywood Hills beyond, they see hundreds of red lanterns, signifying “the deed has been done” amoungst the Invitation cult. They hear gunshots, screams, and sirens echoing through the valley.
Final Recommendations for The Invitation
This is a unique thriller that’s similar enough to the home invasion sub genre of horror that it will scratch that itch if you have it. Otherwise, If you like thrillers or movies in general, you should watch this.
Tusk Review
Sep 18, 2019
After multiple patrons and listeners requested, we sat down and watched Tusk on Netflix. We regretted our decision.
This film is all blubber and no craft. Kevin Smith proves his limitations with this failure of a body horror film. In this Tusk Review episode we break down what went wrong and what went right with the execution.
Tusk Poster
Also, the face I would make if I was forced to watch this movie again.
Tusk Trailer
https://youtu.be/BCQJnOn0ru0
Tusk Official HD Trailer
Tusk Movie Synopsis
This horror movie is brought to you by the same guy that brought you Yoga Hosers and Cop Out. He now brings you a body horror movie based on a joke craigslist personal ad. In Tusk,Justin Long, plays Walrus, I mean Wallace Bryton, who runs a podcast with friend Teddy Craft (Haley Joel Osmond). Their podcast is mostly based off of making fun of internet cringe videos, and as such, Wallace flies to Canada to interview this movie universes equivalent of the Star Wars kid.
When Wallace arrives, he finds out that unfortunately, his interviewee has killed himself. Desperate to find material for their upcoming episode, Wallace then discovers a bizarre personal ad in the bathroom stall of a bar. He goes to meet an enigmatic retired seaman named Howard Howe played by Michael Parks. Mr Howard tells tale of his adventures at sea and of a particular shipwreck where he was miraculously saved by a passing walrus. Before long, Wallace finds himself drugged and captive to Howard’s twisted plot to recreate his walrus savior at Wallace’s expense.
Short Review of Tusk
Sound interesting? It’s not.
Tusk is what you get when you make a movie based on a joke. The premise is entertaining enough for a fake trailer, but not a feature length film, and definitely not with Smith at the helm. I expected a lot more, but the commitment and budget did not pull off the intense and twisted body horror tale necessary to hold my attention. It was shot in 15 days with $3 million and it somehow feels more rushed and cheaper than that.
Instead of focusing on the dread of slowly being turned into a Walrus, Smith focused on creating a panoply of redundant characters delivering redundant dialogue at length. For a body horror film, there is very little care given to the design and shooting of the actual body horror. Smith blows his load halfway through the film and really has nowhere to go after that.
Score for Tusk Movie
2/10
Origin of the Idea of Tusk
The movie is based on a fake ad from Chris Parkinson from Brighton, England. He offered free rent to anyone willing to dress in a walrus suit and pretend to be the animal for two hours a day.
The advert was a hoax, but after Smith discussed it on his Smodcast podcast with co-host Scott Mosier, he began to think about mull the idea of turning it into a feature film.
“Something snapped in my brain, and it’s only happened one other time in my life.” That other time was 20 years ago, when “I wondered why people didn’t make movies about me and my friends talking about movies and pussy and ‘Star Wars.’ So I did, and it was ‘Clerks,’” Smith said.
The Good Elements of Tusk
Michael Parks is undeniably, a great actor, and he gets to display his talents well in this movie. Kevin Smith states that he wrote the film specifically for Parks, and wouldn’t make it without him.
My favorite moments in the film were him doing a little delighted dance watching his victim, and him yelling ferociously as a whining Justin Long.
Spoilers for Tusk
Expand for Tusk Spoilers
The first thing you need to know about this film is that director Kevin Smith is a bullshitter, and he writes like a bullshitter. All of his characters sound like bullshitters, and it’s bullshit.
Much of this film is taken up with repetitive dialogue and unnecessary exposition.
Kevin Smith’s Failures
The direction on this film is truly terrible. Arbitrary flashbacks, forecasted super obvious plot twists, and terrible pacing marred the movie. But the real tragedy is the fundamental misunderstanding about what makes a body horror film work: dread, and disgust.
In terms of storytelling. the movie blows its load way too early. No care is given to extending out the dread or body transformation.
The main spoiler of the film is that Howard Howe surgically transforms Wallace into a Walrus.
The Walrus-Man Reveal
The reveal is terrible. It looks so much worse than I expected. If you were to imagine in your mind a human surgically turned into a walrus, take that idea, but then think of what a cosplayer of that idea at a Topeka, Kansas comi-con would look like. That’s along the lines of what the walrus-man looks like.
Parks and Long sharing a moment of regret for appearing in Tusk.
Smith made the worst possible decision, and decided to show the Walrus in flat medium to wide shots for the rest of the film.
There it is, in all it’s… glory.
A note to future budget filmmakers: if you have a terrible cheap looking monster design, go the Jaws route and don’t show it.
Mocking Canadians. Lamely
Instead, what Smith focused his story on is lame humor mocking Canadians. Remember that Canadians say “aboot” and “eh”? Well, too bad, Kevin Smith is going to remind you how hilarious that is for an hour and 45 minutes.
Johnny Depp is in this film, and exercises a ridiculous, yet still unfunny French Canadian accent.
The beret is a subtle touch.
The only real reason that Johnny is in this movie is because his daughter along with Smith’s daughter play clerks in a Canadian mini mart.
One of the most interesting scenes is probably the one where Depp and Parks play opposite each other and compete to see how much of the scenery each of them can eat.
https://youtu.be/NPJPphUnM58
Again… subtle.
The ending features a fight to the death between Howard Howe in a Walrus suit and Wallace as the transformed Walrus monstrosity. Long wins. Who cares?
In the epilogue, Wallace is shown being visited by his former girlfriend and former podcast co-host who then toss him a fish to eat.
Final Recommendations
I can’t in good conscience recommend this movie. It is streaming on Netflix right now, so if you already have a subscription, you could watch it for free. However, you could save a lot of time by just fast forwarding to the scene where Wallace meets Howard, and the scene with the transformation reveal. Everything else is unfunny blubber.
Horror Movie News
Netflix released a trailer for “Netflix and Chills”, a special Halloween season release schedule of four original horror movies
the release will feature the company’s exclusive 4K restoration of the “uncut, uncensored Italian 35mm camera negative, with color correction supervised and approved by cinematographer Luciano Tovoli and presented in true 2160p.” The must-own release will also feature “an all-new Dolby Atmos audio remix.”
Special Features will include:
Two audio commentaries by authors and Argento scholars Derek Botelho, David Del Valle and Troy Howarth
“Do You Know Anything About Witches?”: 30-minute SUSPIRIA visual essay written, edited and narrated by Michael Mackenzie
“Suzy in Nazi Germany”: Featurette on the German locations from SUSPIRIA
“A Sigh from the Depths: 40 Years of SUSPIRIA”: All-new anniversary retrospective on the making of the film and its influence on cinema
“Olga’s Story”: Interview with star Barbara Magnolfi
Original theatrical trailers, TV spots and radio spots
International Classics’ English “Breathing Letters” opening credit sequence from the U.S. release
Expand for Full Transcript of HMT Episode 63: Tusk Review
this episode of horror movie talk brought to you by your wife’s moisturizer. You’re a man, so you don’t care about soft skin. But you also want to do unspeakable things with those sandpaper textured hands. Well, look no further than your wife’s moisturizer to quick splits is all that you need to send yourself to Pleasure Town, followed by a quick jaunt through Shame County, ending with your arrival at disgusted Resolve City. Yes, your hands and unspeakable regions will never be softer or smell more like lavender than after you use your wife’s moisturizer. And now from the same people that brought you your wife’s moisturizer, try your wife’s near sock for when you got a Put Something somewhere. Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny Horror Movie review Show your panel of expert hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hanson, who holds a PH-Boo in spookology. Oh, and adjunct professor David Day, the foremost expert on scare No nose. New theatrical releases always get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and horrible, and I’m Davide man. I always need to put something somewhere. It seems, ah Welcome to horror movie talk. Before we get started, I want to tell you about this great website called Horror movie talk dot com. Do tell me more. It features past episodes of your favorite podcast horror movie talk, as well as links to social media and blog’s on horror movie topics. Yeah, it’s true. It’s true. Also has some links up with the top where you can help us out a whole bunch. But we’ll get into that later. You which is? We should do a whole. We should do this episode high energy like other podcasts. Okay, let’s do it. Let’s do it So we got everybody. If you’re new to horror movie talk, we post every Wednesday. So subscribing Smash that rating button. Bring that mouth smash the slap. That five star rating. We’re really, really. So if you love the podcast, check out positive. A cast from Davide, another podcast about positivity. Today we got a great show, David, What do you think? We’ve got a great show today. We got the best show, and one will be talking about us seemingly made for TV movie. We’ll be given a brief review and our score for the movie we scored on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being a miserable dread that make you angry. Five. Be an average film that hits all the expected marks and 10 being so good at transcends genre boundaries. What are those? I don’t know. Those are big words. After we give our score, we’ll get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into what we liked and hated about the food fil film move movie. My takeaway on this Is that your impression of professional radios? Are they are they? They talk so quickly that there nearly in conference about you’re just like Oh my God, there’s words coming at me quickly. Most most radio personalities probably enunciate. That’s that’s where they’ve got me. So, um, take a deeper dive in the light. What we like to hate about every move leader will be doing taglines choked on my coffee. Uh, would you be doing taglines and horror movie news? Oh God, those other podcasts that like our super high energy and it’s just one person talking after the other over. I just started listening toe last podcast on the left. They have, like the series on the Mormon religion, and it’s just like back. I don’t know if it’s the editing or they’re just like each just waiting to spring on each other after someone finishes a sentence. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it’s a strange thing. It’s like what you grew up listening to write, which is, like, for me. It’s Stern and Opie and Anthony and neither of those format and then Adam Corolla, you know, And none of those formats were ever, like, jump on you. Yeah, it somehow like there was there was like, there’s, like, a couple different echelons of radio, you know? And the echelon right below the the one that I like, Uh, which is, you know, just a talk variety. Our kind of thing is, you know, a professional deejay, right? Or just like a morning zoo. Yeah. Lower morning zoo. Exactly where it’s just like, Good Lord. Are you insane? And the answer is kind of Yeah, yeah. Anyways, we’ll have to do I That’s we’ll have to build up endurance. I think that’s a far as I can go today. I Yeah, I mean my sphincters a little wobbly after it’s it’s alarming having you and you haven’t even talked having you know it’s alarming because your energy is palpable and it’s not normal. Normally there’s a little bit of, ah, black hole on that, Andi. So I’m Ah, so right now I’m I’m a little overwhelmed. Okay, Um, so let’s let’s get into the movie. Um, I just want Yeah, my levels were right. So after multiple patrons and listeners requested, we sat down and watched Tusk. Yes, we did. Yes, we did. It’s available for free streaming on Netflix, and we regret our decision. What the fuck is the matter with you? People like you think we aren’t gonna go hard in the paint on you? We will wage war. All right, here’s the trailer. Always do sober. What you do drunk. I’m gonna teach you to keep your mouth shut up. Hemingway said that? Yes, he did. He said it to me. I don’t want you to go to Canada. Its form for the podcast. It’s what I do. I travel around and I interview weird or interesting people. So look out, you crazy. Canucks 100. Wallace takes a raunchy road trip up to the great White North. Hello. I have an old man who has enjoyed a long and storied life at sea and after e owns oceanic adventure. I know. I do not wish to spend my remaining years alone. Why have stories to share? How far is by frost from here? It’s about two hours from here to a dude two hours away. Hate American guys. Good evening. Nice to meet you. Could I interest you in some tea? So what happened after the boat sank? I was alone. I’m dead or something. Very swift and frightening. Moved by me. A walrus saved your life. The walrus is far more evolved in any man present company included. Thank you. You’re welcome. There, there. And we all ride Mr Tough. He hasn’t called me in three days. I’m worried. What? You really morning your humanity. I don’t understand the hell I want to be human back. Wait, So I think Yeah, watching that trailer reminded me why I wanted to see the movie. Because the trailer is actually pretty great. It looks like a very promising movie because it doesn’t show you. Oh, man. So this is this is a hit piece. This podcast right now, if you’re a huge fan of task Well, first of all, I don’t know if we can be friends. Yeah, second of all, we’re going to tell you why you’re wrong. Tusk is a horror movie brought to you by the same day that brought you yoga, hosers and cop out. He now brings you a body horror movie based on a joke. Craigslist personal ad. Justin Long plays walrus. I mean Wallace Brighton, who runs a podcast with friend Teddy Craft, played by Haley Joel Osmond. You remember him right there. Podcast is mostly based off of making fun of Internet cringe videos, and as such, Wallace flies to Canada to interview this movies. This movie universe is equivalent of the Star Wars kid. When Wallace arrives, he finds out, hilariously that his interview he has killed himself. Desperate to find material for their upcoming episode, Wallace discovers a bizarre personal ad in the bathroom stall of a bar, which is normally like a really good idea to respond to personal ads inside shady bars. Yeah, no, but this didn’t work out too great for him. He goes to meet an enigmatic, retired seamen named Howard. How semen way. We’re no better than the movie now played by Michael Parks. Mr Howard tells tale of his adventures at sea and of a particular shipwreck where he was miraculously saved by a passing walrus before long wallet walrus. Before long, Wallace finds himself drug and captive to Howard’s twisted plot to recreate his walrus savior at Wallace’s expense. Sound interesting? It’s not. I’m so irritated. I’m so fucking irritated right now. The fact that he named him Wallace like that just it Zez everything you need to know right there. What you just name be. Well, we’re going to turn him into a walrus, so it should probably name Wallace. At the very least, it should have been the last name Ready Should been like Robert Wallace. Test is what you get when you make a movie based on a joke. The premises entertaining enough for a fake trailer but not a feature length film. And definitely not when Kevin Smith is at the helm. I was expecting a lot more, but the commitment and budget wasn’t there. To pull off an intense and twisted body horror tale. The film was shot in 15 days with $3 million it somehow feels more rushed and cheaper than that. I’ll give him credit. 50 days is pretty quick. 15 days is very, very quick. Ah, the It’s impressive the talent that he was able to pull in, I assume, just with his name. Yeah, but, man, I I’d be surprised if he was able to do it again. This is a one and done kind of thing because anybody who catches wind of this well, he had already here and he pulled in Michael Parks for Red State. And he basically said that you wouldn’t make this film unless Michael Parkes played Howard. Um, and then Johnny Depp somehow got in this. The thing I found out is that those clerks in the minute mark the Canadian minute mark were Kevin Smith’s daughter and Johnny Depp’s daughter. So I wonder how much it’s like just a Johnny have time wanting to do something with his daughter. Yeah, you know, I don’t know if you’re going to get to the fact that this is part of, ah, like a light trilogy. Not really. I mean, yeah, so it’s kind of like a Canadian trilogy, and I can’t imagine how unspeakably unfunny the other ones are. But there’s yoga Hosers. There’s Tusk. And then there’s, um, most tooth or something like that. Something to be released? Yeah, there’s like Moose jars. Something with Moose. Yeah, okay, because Canada. So instead of focusing on the dread of slowly spoilers being turned into a walrus, Smith focuses on creating a panoply of redundant characters. They’re delivering redundant dialogue at length for a body horror film. There’s very little care given to the design and the shooting of the actual body horror. Shockingly, shockingly, A Smith blows his load halfway through the film and really has nowhere to go after that. It’s truly it’s like it’s shocking. It’s astounding that he’s, I mean, he’s not a bad story teller. No, he’s specifically a good storyteller. But I mean, does follow That guy does is the reveal is so bad. It’s just so bad. And then you’re just like, Oh, that’s That’s it, like that’s where that’s what we’ve got for this film. And then it’s just like all right now on to the interesting part. And let’s be clear, hilarious detective work, clean chewing Johnny Depp And let’s be clear, I was excited about this movie like I was like, Yeah, Tusk Let’s go. Yeah, I wanted to see this one for a while. It’s one of those that you’re like. I’ve heard about it like everybody has been, like, really seared that. Yeah, I’m really curious about it. See, that’s the thing. I haven’t heard people talk about it, and that’s usually what keeps me from seeing it. Like I’ll look at the trailer and say, This looks very interesting. I’m putting that on my cue. Who? But the thing that tips me over the edge to actually watching it is if someone mentions it in a good light. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone rave about the film or say that it was actually work worth watching. But now that we have a horror movie podcast, everyone wants this. Submit our time and brains, too. Yeah, the stuff that well, there’s a few things going on there, right? Like Okay, first of all, first of all, that there’s a few reasons why I think people referred the US to this movie and and I would like to point out that no one has has referred to me going. You’ll love it. There just been like they wanted to hear what we say. You please watch this. And then they slap it down on the table and slide it across to us and their eyes have some sort of weird, fucked up fire behind him. And we’re like, Okay, but so and then also, this is a movie about podcasters. All right, so now we’re getting a little meta with the people suggesting right? Hey, you should watch this horror movie about podcasters you horror movie podcast hosts. And so now we’re in too deep and and oh, man, I just had such high expectations because partially because of, like, the aftereffect, the afterglow that I had I still have for movies like Dogma and Clerks and you know, all my middle school chuckle fest bust, a nut and sort of sophomoric humor from Kevin Smith. I love a lot of Kevin Smith movies, but this is just unbelievably poorly done. Yeah, he is is not in his wheelhouse. Let’s just say that Yeah, he should be ashamed. Even even more recent ones that have been better. Not great, but actually interesting, at the very least, So red state was pretty good. That one with, um, Mallrats. No, not Mallrats. What’s the other one? There is Red State and the one that just the guy. I was pissed off it. Rude people. Yeah, I don’t know. I can’t write that one’s called anyways. Like Kevin Smith is hit or miss in my mind. Sometimes he tries to overstep his boundaries and try to be a little more ambitious than he has the capacity for. This is definitely one of those. Yes, this is pretty clear. Like I kept kept coming back to the saying, Oh, he’s trying to be a Quentin Tarantino in this, right? Like he’s trying to write dialogue like pithy dialogue, but he has no idea what that looks like. He just has no idea. He just can’t. Yeah, that’s my first point when we get into the spoilers. Um ah, but let’s talk about our score for the movie. Um, so with all that being said, all that being said, this was see, I was rested for this, like normally if I give like a really low scores because like, I just wasn’t paying attention because I was so tired. But this one, I I put down a three, and then I changed it to a two because I’m like, What? What was? I didn’t laugh at all in this movie. I might have laughed once unintentionally for an unintentional like funny thing. Just like, What are you doing? Like what the fuck not like, Wow, that’s shocking. Or that’s over the top. It’s just like, Wow, that’s really inept. But for the most part, I just got angry that the dialogue was so redundant and so repetitive and it was just It was really bad. It was bad. Now, now there’s a little bit of a letdown factor to this, right? This is not true. This is not a terrible, terrible, terrible movie. I understood in that I understood what was happening at any given point, right? So it makes sense in so far as what is trying to make sense at. It’s just a It’s just a ah slapdash movie put together by a notable filmmaker. Yeah, and a notable film maker who has a lot of feels from my childhood attached to him and a lot of expectation from me. So in that regard, it’s not a normal too. But I wouldn’t say you’re wrong because with great responsibility, with great power comes great responsibility. Kevin Smith. You should know this comic book enthusiast, slash writer, and I know D. C is more your thing, but, you know, you can you can take a little card out a spider man’s book. Thank you. So, yeah, I don’t have a strong opinion on this, which is probably more damning than anything. That’s like, I don’t give a shit what what we rate. This is definitely a a three. Definitely a three. Yeah, it’s just a let down. Yeah, I think I think the thing that pushed me over the edge from a 3 to 2 is, um, the dialogue is truly, like boring. It’s so good. It’s so the pacing is so bad, it’s very bad. And then an utterly fails at the genre of body horror up like it just does a very, very bad job falls flat on its face. It didn’t the The idea that this is Bodie whore is absurd. It it’s it’s body horror in husk like that’s the husk that this comes out in. But then it doesn’t do anything with the body horror genre. There is no man. I mean, I think about it. It’s not like you didn’t try and that there’s not, like the elements that are You would expect to be there, but they’re just pulled off so bad. Yeah, like the transition just happened way too quick. Quick. There’s no meat on those bones on that transition from, like, All right, now it’s happening. Your metamorphosis. The supposed to be the culmination of the whole movie. All the interesting stuff. All right. Okay. Throw that sock away. Yeah. Uh, yeah. He’s focuses so much time and energy on dialogue on unlike jokey, like tired, stereotypical jokes. And Jason Muse isn’t even in it. Like like, if you’re going to do that, at least have somebody who’s strange and interesting to watch. Do it? Yeah. You don’t think Johnny Depp is strange and interesting? It’s not that I don’t think Johnny Depp is strange and interesting. No, I don’t think Charlie to have a situation interesting, actually, now that you mention it. Okay. So, uh, let’s move on to spoilers. All right, so we’ve already talked about it, But there was one observation that I made about Kevin Smith’s dialogue style. And if you’ve listened to Kevin Smith tell stories for his podcast you mean you sh mod cast. You should know Kevin Smith is a bullshitter. He’s one of those guys that can tell a story that captivates your attention. But if you step back, you realize that it’s a lot of unnecessary information. It’s just a lot of color and not a lot of substance, necessarily right. And if you step back here like, oh, so you’re just you’re just kind of being awkward. Yeah, that’s that’s the takeaway. If you if you sift it, sift through all the bullshit is that it’s a very normal occurrence that happened. Well, you have. You have in, like, one paragraph. You’ve stripped him totally nude. Did it? Can you imagine how awkward something I don’t know. Maybe he’s so good at Deflection and that kind of thing that that this you know, if he heard your words, if he heard you say those things and they rang totally true, he would he would say, Oh, yeah, that’s absolutely 100% correct. Are you kidding me? That’s me. Yes, of course it’s me. Everybody knows that’s me. Good job, professor. And it’s like, um so as such. He he’s a screenwriter that writes like a bullshitter. Yeah, so all of his character sound like bullshit? Er’s. And in this circumstance, it’s bullshit. Well said, Um, he’s not. So here’s the difference between Quentin Tarantino and can’t believe Kevin Smith. They’re both very, very good talkers. That’s Tran. They’re both homely, homely, issue gentlemen, or have spent a good part of their life being not good, looking enough for the women that they would like to have right. Much like a lot of people. I don’t know if Kevin Smith likes to fuck feet, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Um, but Quintero, both of them when they’re writing the dialogue and the characters speaking the dialogue, are prone to sound like them. Like Quentin Tarantino, script sounds like Quentin Tarantino, right? And Kevin Smith sounds like Kevin Smith. But the difference between um, the dialogue is like I said, Kevin Smith is a bullshitter. And so the bullshitting comes through. But with with Tarantino, there’s like a vast amount of pop culture knowledge and nuance and like opinions and strong, intelligent and taste that comes through yeah, intelligence, Which is this laundry list of good things that that Quentin Tarantino has that Kevin Smith doesn’t. And yes, I I am constantly on Tarantino’s nuts. I don’t think he’s ever made a bad movie. Look, the the on Lee. I mean, even the most recent ones, which are not even necessarily my favorite, are better than 90% of any movies that have ever been made. Yeah, the problem is, and the thing that Kevin Smith would say in rebuttal to this is you’re comparing me to the best filmmaker of all time and thank you very much. And it’s like, Yeah, but shut the fuck up because it’s clear you were trunk like you were comparing yourself to Quentin Tarantino when you made this movie, and if you weren’t I mean, boy, it sure does look like it right. And then the other thing is outside of screenwriting. Quentin Tarantino is a master director, like if he was not a screenwriter, he could tell the story of any any script on film because he is excellent at directing and portraying the story in whatever genre he chooses. Yes, so it’s distinctly his, but also distinctly of the genre. And, ah, Kevin Smith obviously does not have that in his favor. He’s he’s kind of a one trick pony. If it’s like, you know, younger twenties and probably now, like middle age guy friends that are bullshitting and talking about relationships and, um, comic books, their inability to handle interpersonal conflict, then, yes, probably gonna be okay for Kevin Smith. But if he’s gonna do like a nuanced genre film, he’s just not going anyway. Moving on. So the origin of this film, the idea, actually came, um, about after a man in Brighton, England, put out an ad in this. It’s like a Craigslist type site called Gum Tree. Ah, he offered free rent to anyone willing to dress in a walrus suit and pretend to be said Animal for two hours a day. The advert turned out to be a hoax by a writer poet, Chris Parkinson. But after Kevin Smith discussed it on a smart cast with his co host, Scott Moy Mosier, he began a mole. The idea of turning in the turning it into a feature length film. Hey said something snapped in my brain, and it’s only happened one other time in my life. That other time was 20 years ago, when I wondered why people didn’t make movies about me and my friends talking about movies and pushy and star wars. So I did. And it was Clerks. Smith said. So, uh, that’s also probably something you’d say if he knew you made a piece of shit. Oh, is this Remind me the reason why I made this movie is it’s exactly the same reason as I made that movie that you actually like. Um, so I mean, I thought it was interesting. That is not even an original idea. It’s not like they they, uh, like improv it on the show. Right? It’s literally someone else’s funny idea. Inspired by yes, taking us, like, altered to there purpose of Reverend. Um, yeah, it’s, um and I can, you know, And in that format on, you know, as an interesting topic t bring up and talk about on on kind of an all purpose the topics podcast. This story is fun and works, you know, thing is exactly the kind of stuff you want to talk about. Bring up not the kind of thing you also want. I mean, you know what? Actually all even reverse that this could this movie. It could have been with this concept awesome. It could have you in your fucking awesome. Yeah, if you had given this movie to GM Road Del Toro? Yes. And he had the same budget. Three million? Probably even the same. Well, not the same script they have. Yeah. No makes no. Yeah, but if they gave this to, like, a really good body whore, direct or like Cronenberg or something, I wonder what Cronenberg could do with this on $3 million? I don’t know, but it be a lot better. This is the concept the bones of this thing could have been. The bones of this thing could have been Ah, could have been great. You could have had a really crazy cool story, but in effect, there was ah lot of blubber. There’s a lot of fat on the bone a minute. Okay, um so before going very much further, it should be said Michael Parks is the best part of this film. Oh, hell, yeah. He’s great in anything he’s in. Um, Michael Parks is kind of chameleon. You don’t really recognize him that much. That the part that I was like I was astounded at and I was a huge fan of them ever since kill Bill because and kill Bill. He played two characters on one in each film. The 1st 1 he was the sheriff that discovers the bride. Fantastic character outer. And then in the 2nd 1 he’s the, like cigar during Hunter. And, like, drug Lord pimp. Yeah, um, and they’re so different. And he was able to portray that. So each character so well that I had no idea that it was the same actor until the commentary. Yeah, he, um and that Honduran pimp, the the cigar sucking, kind of lazy eyed, lazy blinking it took place in. He was that same character in this movie. Basically, he was not far from it. Ah, yeah, yeah, we got a lot of the same affect. I got a lot of the same feel. It’s interesting that you I say that I didn’t I didn’t see that. This one is, like very much like it. Well, yes, he’s a distinguished gentleman. And both of them, Yeah, it kind of sits there and smokes and ponders and tells a story and right? Yeah, that’s yeah, it’s Ah, I see it now. Yeah, so that he’s the best part. The worst part is the direction is truly terrible. And and and the script s so there’s arbitrary flashbacks that tell super obvious twists And just fuck with the pacing so bad. Look, that you’re just like what? Why, though, like you, you know you have to leave the action. You need to leave like the tension of the the one storyline of him being held captive. You have to leave it for something else. And what he chooses to leave it for is just like who cares like it should. There’s sometimes, like, just kind of a template that you that you can use for the genre’s you know, you said, you have someone told captive, Um, something bad is happening and then the B story line is the people that love them notice that they’re gone and are trying to find out where they are. Yeah, like, that’s a very tried and true template, and sometimes you should just do that. Would you? Would you mind if so, So far we’ve just been ripping this thing apart, but we haven’t really given the basics of what happened in the in the movie. Would you mind if I ran it down real quick. Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty. It’s pretty basic. You go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. So this podcast, they, you know, they’re Why would they send one of the two guys? Who is the guy that they sent? What’s his Wallace Wallace. But what? Who? What is his actual name as a Justin Long? Justin Long. Thank you. You would recognize Justin Long. He’s the Mac guy. Yeah. And, um And so they sent him to the Great White North to interview a ah, viral video sensation who once he got there is revealed this kid killed himself. So now Justin Long has to has to find some other interesting story to talk about. So when he’s in the bar up in realize that if said all this in the synopsis, right? Oh, you did? I’m sorry. I was thinking about how horrible this movie. So the part that I haven’t covered is is when he gets there. Michael Parks. His character tells this story, and it’s kind of like, super interesting guy and Justin Long’s character, the podcasters like I could totally use. This is an air view. He gives him some tea, just tea, and then, as he’s telling him the story about being saved by this walrus and how important it was in his life. Justin Long faints clearly the whole time. It’s just very obvious that the tea is drug. It’s like here is some tea and just long is like I love taste. This tastes really weird. What’s in this Drugs? So and then he wakes up and very quickly you realized that well, I mean at right, as Justin Long’s character faints and it’s even in the trailer. Howard House. Howard How the character that that Michael Parkes Place says, you know, go to sleep, Mr Tusk. And so that’s the name of the Walrus that saved. And so it’s pretty obvious that he’s got out there very quickly. He’s got a thing for walruses and expends no time and just saying he’s gonna turn Justin long into a walrus, Right? That’s the premise of this film, and I think pretty much everyone that knows about this film knows that’s what it’s about. Yes, there’s a very thin veil of, Of like, Why am I here? How why why did you amputate my leg? And he’s like, Ah, spider bitch! It was a brown recluse, also known as the whole Both Spider and that bitch and I had to amputate. Will had to have your own a leg amputated. Hey, you know, you’re under some heavy sedation and then he wakes up again and he’s a Wallace. It’s like, Okay, like And that’s literally that’s literally the movie like we could stop with like we could. And then this friends find him and he’s made a full metamorphosis into this is I mean, there’s not even a slow. I mean, there’s like maybe two seems, but really so then there is a tremendous There’s like a 40 minute long dialogue with Johnny Depp, who’s who’s a detective who’s who’s hot on the trail. Canadian detective who’s hot on the trail of the serial killer who mutilates his but never sexually touches, which I don’t know why. That’s interesting. That’s anti interesting. He never, ever sexually gets. And so I mean, it’s not even like it doesn’t play at all with the body whore. It’s not, you know, which is also kind of a missed opportunity, in my opinion. Yes, they make a big deal. Okay, this is this is like a sidestep, but they make this big deal about showing the walruses Penis bone, yeah, on the mantel and talking about like a Penis bone penises in right. And they make this big deal out of of Howard of Mr Howard’s character getting just horribly abused when he was younger. And so you’d think there’d be, like, some kind of weird, deviant sexual thing like, No, that’s just just so stupid walrus suit. And then they fight. What’s the the So the main points of like about a body horror are he faints? He wakes up, his legs amputated. He’s like, What the fuck? And Mr Howard’s like, Ah, it’s just a spider And he faints, gets drug again and takes his other leg and kind of so’s his arms together. And then I don’t even think we see his reaction to that. Like we don’t see Justin Long waking up after that particular operation the operation could have been, could have been 10 minutes long and horrific, horrifically gory. Look, I’m not a body horn, and there’s like, two operations, but one of them doesn’t even matter because you don’t see his reaction to it. All right? And then there’s another operation where it’s like the full transformation and then the reveal immediate. I mean, it’s within a span of it happens at the middle of it. It’s like there is exactly three minutes of this body horror movie devoted to body whore like, and it’s an hour and 40 minutes long, and there is, I mean, that I don’t know if that’s the exact time, but that’s what it feels like. No, it is it. Like an hour 42. No, I mean the amount of time they spent on the body or yeah, yeah, it feels so insignificant to the amount of time. Yeah, and it’s e. I mean, look, I’m not a body horror guy. I don’t like it. I’m just saying, if you’re trying for that, just go for it. You do that? So, uh, so at some point, um, after he gets and his leg is amputated, this first leg is amputated. Wallace calls his girlfriend but doesn’t give an address or any useful information you are, which is great, which is a pretty lengthy call. It was like a you know, two or three minute voicemail, but he doesn’t like, say, this is the town. I’m in. Look, I’m pretty sure I can’t remember in my whole Social Security number, but the last four is definitely 44 to 1, and there’s no use it. She just gives her everything in the kitchen sink except right, all of the useful stuff. Um, we’ve already talked about how this movie blows. It slowed way too early. No care is given to extending out the dread or the body transformation. It’s it feels so insignificant. So let’s talk about the actual reveal and how terrible it is. It looks so much worse than I expected. I like. I’m still they spent. They spent so much camera time looking directly at this horrible walrus costume. I can’t believe it. It’s like $3 million. You imagine your head if you haven’t seen this movie and you? I have watched the trailer, doesn’t show anything. And if you were to imagine in your head, what would it look like if someone surgically turned someone into a walrus? Go ahead. I have that picture in your mind. Imagine a good movie was made out of that. Okay, Now imagine someone at the San Diego comic con did like pretty good cosplay of it. Okay, so put that picture in your mind. Okay? Now picture someone in like a Portland, Oregon comic con Ah! Ah, That’s the sauce play of it. A significantly smaller, less well attended comic con. Okay, now, now think of someone in like like Henderson, Texas, comic Con Forks, Washington comic con attended by six people. Okay, okay, that is the cosplay. The person that goes as cosplay for that That movie. That’s what the actual design looked like in this film. This is not an exaggeration. It’s It’s like a big latex. And the real damning part of it is how how he moves in the costume. They don’t go to any length at all to try and hide the fact that this is just basically a big plastic bag around around him. He’s like when he retracts his head into the costume it like and it’s and it’s just very clearly a big latex bag. Weird. Why would you show this literally looks like just latex foam? So it’s not even like he’s in a bag full of blubber? No, it just feels like Yes. Oh, it’s so bad. I can’t underline how bad it is. So in a circumstance circumstance like this, if you have a terrible, cheap looking monster design that’s not scary and looks ridiculous, you have to go the job’s route. You do not show it. You show it in flashes, right? You show like the aftereffects of its presence. Yeah, you show all these things fleeting but disturbing imagery. He tries to do that leading up to it. But even that isn’t super effective because it’s the design is so bad that it looks fake. Yeah, just it’s this is the other one. Okay, is the better analogy. Get rid of all the comic con cosplay stuff. All right, The costume looks like it’s from a Conan O’Brien sketch air We go. That’s that’s what guys made a walrus costume. Yes, unlike Late Night, Conan O’Brien’s like early Conan O’Brien with, you know, back when, uh, what was that pimp bought? 3000? Yeah, Or like the masturbating bear. So this is like minty, the candy cane that fell on the ground level. That scotch tape is involved. Yeah, anyways, and they just he just does not know how to shoot it or make it interesting at all. It’s looks like there is isn’t that scary? Now let’s just keep looking at it in a wide shot. I keep us. That’s the most interesting thing we can do. I keep wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt and say It’s it’s intentionally ironic, but it’s just intentionally shitty or even just the lighting If they let it different or this made of more like like slimy M or something, It was just so bad, and it happens at the midpoint of the film. It’s over at that point that there’s nothing left in your film and, like the Onley thing left and I’ll skip forward to the very ending. The Onley thing left is there’s a fight to the death of Justin Long’s character and Michael Parkes character, and Michael Park is dressed in a walrus suit, and it it is like as much as it would. It can redeem itself. It it kind of is interesting at that point, and then it dwells on that for like, half a minute, and then it’s over. OK, so where did the $3 million go? Bryce. So the maternity Where did it go? Did it go to the soundtrack to get that Tusks? Yes, exactly. Or but why the fuck did they go for the the like? That’s the layup like That’s the layup song go for I am the Walrus. If you got $3 million like, why are you? Why are you going with who’s saying that? Fleetwood Mac What? Where you going with Fleetwood Mac when you could have the Beatles? All right, I think it was a good choice. That’s that’s a great choice. It’s well for this movie because it’s a B side, but yeah, Kevin Smith even said himself that, like most of the budget, was spent on licensing that I mean, probably not a lot of the budget was spent unlicensed. Sing that song. That’s a pretty big song. We’ll see if we’ll see what get pulled off a YouTube for two and 1\/2 seconds of that. But ah yeah, it’s just so bad. All right, So let’s move on to some other things that the other bad things terrible jokes based off of tired Canadian stereotypes. Just not even interesting joke. Not even not. There’s no hey, did you know that Canadians say A and A boot and a boot did you know that it’s time that we know that they’re polite. This movie came out in 2014 in there, making jokes about that isn’t that funny? Let’s base an entire Let’s just really dwell on Canadian stereotypes and aren’t French Canadian hilarious. Let’s let’s put Johnny Depp in this. Do you care that Johnny Depp is in this Johnny Depp? Okay, No, First of all, no. You know what? You know what putting Johnny Depp in this movie does. It makes you go, Oh, shit. About 20 minutes into this to seeing that character you go. Oh, that’s That’s Johnny Depp. Yeah, he really was in a bunch of weird makeup and maybe a prosthetic, and I was like, Why are they making him up so much? Second, I didn’t recognize him, but then I looked. I’m like, Oh, it’s cause it’s Johnny Depp. By the time Johnny Depp shows up, the movie should be fucking over. But instead there’s 40 minutes left of Johnny Depp just kind of expounding on this serial killer who turns his victims into something we don’t know. What spoilers. It’s a walrus, Uh, and and then and then it’s just and then it’s just Johnny Depp. Just kind of just going to in the scenery. You sure in the senior is just just Johnny the ideas like, wouldn’t it be funny if Johnny Depp was did a ridiculous French Canadian accent? So So what? It turns out no, it’s not funny. Yeah, and what it accomplishes is like when the movie’s already over and you’re and you’re still supposedly telling a story, the audience halfway through goes, Oh, shit, that’s Johnny Depp and then gets on their phones to get on imdb to make sure that that’s actually Johnny Depp. So now you have half the audience just gone right? Oh, man, this movie, another be plot is Wallace is coupled it a cuckolded, edited by his friends and podcast partner, played by Haley Joel Osman. Do you care about that story line? I don’t except to say that Haley. I said this during while we were watching, but Haley Joel Osmond is just unfortunate looking because he looks like a child actor who grew up. Yeah, he’s He’s probably the most child actor that grew up pissed. Yeah, looking. I mean, Macaulay Culkin’s pretty close, I think the thing with Haley Joel Iseman. He’s still got I don’t want to, like, rag on somehow because mostly, like everyone looks like a weird version of the child themselves. Except you don’t actually get to know the weird version of Child. Exactly. Don’t see like you don’t miss the transition you see in the whole time. But with Haley, Joel Osmond has a particular thing where his face is very small. Yes, comparison to his head When he’s Yeah, it’s It’s strange because yeah, I don’t want a rag. He did a fine job. He’s Everything he’s been in has been great. He gave us six cents. Jesus Christ, like he was great. And, ah, most recently the boys on Amazon. You were telling me about that. You should watch that. But But all suffice does. Suffice it to say you don’t care about his story line or his character that gets way too much time, right? Um, talk about this. Briefly. Howard Howe was abused as a child by a community of pedophiles. Um, it feels like it’s what Smith is using as a reason for why he’s insane. Here’s Here’s the clip from From the Movie on. So for the next five years. I was beaten. I was tortured. I was raped. I had things in my mouth and no human being should have a taste. I never thought of you as a person. He just thought to use me. And usually they didn’t. Priests, politicians, interests, even the nurses. No night watchman alone. Which is all to satisfy the most peace, physical and financial desires through the rectum and lips of a child. Like I get it. You grew up Catholic, and you had a hard time because because And I mean, I like my heart goes out to anyone who was who was abused as a child. Like 100% right don’t like. And? And the whole point of this movie, like the through line on this movie, is like, Why would you want to be a person? It would better. It would be better to be just something as a name as a walrus, Right. But ah, boy, man, you could do a lot. You could do a lot more footwork. Yeah, it feels it feels a lot. It feels pretty cheap. Using that is like a plot point, but not actually like attaching it to anything other than just People are bad. Yeah, And again, like my heart goes out to eat to Kevin Smith. Like, I’m sorry for what happened here legitimately, but this was this was a bad way to do it. Yeah. Um, the scene with Johnny Depp and Michael Parkes is probably one of the most interesting parts of the movie. But I’m not going to say it’s good. It’s It’s meta interesting because they’re two actors just absolutely chewing the scenery. It’s Johnny Depp doing a ridiculous French Canadian accent and Michael Parkes doing like a almost touched. Yeah, he was a bit Southern American type accent. Yeah. Um, here’s Here’s a clip of that. Just to give you a taste. I have it. Here it is. Good afternoon. Tea, sir? I am Philip went So do kid Dick. Oh, Did you come here by a biter? You come here about the spider? Yeah, Yeah, Yes. Ah! All right. So this movie is basically a much worse version of the human centipede. But you brought this up while we were watching it. I just wanted to briefly touch on what human centipede did better. Ok, One of my favorite films. Yeah, human centipede is Bryce’s baby. Yeah, so Human Centipede drew out the explanation of what the doc was going to do. The people so part of, like the’s body horror movies, especially with a insane scientist, the draft is the insane scientist, explaining exactly what he’s going to do to you and why that’s like we’re half the horror comes from where you realize this guy is fucking insane. Yeah, and you have to sit and watch and see his delight at his idea. Yeah, it’s It’s the Clockwork Orange thing where they’re prying your eyes open and making you watch something you don’t want to watch. And it completely doesn’t do that in this film, um, human centipede. There’s a much slower passage of time and showing of the recovery process of the surgery, which is also like, just horrifying but also very interesting. And it just shows, like a lot of like, what would this actually be like? I just don’t want to watch him and send a beat so badly, and then the the tone. This is where, like just why it’s such a glorious fill. The tone I was trying to write down what the tone of human centipede is, and it’s so difficult to say exactly what it is. I imagine it’s It’s like hell on earth. It’s played so straight and committed. It’s so committed and but somehow still over the top. But it’s not like hacky. Uh, it’s it’s over the top and how much it’s playing it straight, right? It’s like it’s like saw if saw took itself even more seriously. So it just underlines the ridiculousness of the premise. And it feels like it grounds this horrible idea in this ridiculous premise in reality, which makes it horrifying, Um, and a really focused on the horror of the protagonist situation and Tusk like it just says like this happened. But it doesn’t really dwell on what the protagonist thinks about or they’re actually experience. It just it just shows them any screaming. That’s it. It’s silly that I mean, that’s all the years shown about, like, his experiences that it’s done in the East any any. He doesn’t like it. Yeah, um, the ending with the walrus duel to the death, it really could have been great. It was an interesting idea. Having Howard in like, another walrus suit and try to battle to the death with their tusks, but again felt firmly right on his face. From the directing standpoint, the choreography is terrible, like it’s literally just like if you’re lying next to each other and just kind of like rolling into each other. Yeah, that’s that’s it like and if that’s if you’re limited by the costumes, okay, that’s fine. But try to shoot it in a way that it looks like there’s something happening other than that. And it just didn’t. I just looked like I felt long, like a medium shot or a wide shot of them kind of nudging each other. And then it ends with Justin Long, like tackling the guy and stabbing him with his tasks is and it’s just that’s that’s and then another ending is tacked on with the girlfriend feeding a fish to him. And this is actually we missed it if we had listened or if we had watched all the all the credits. So we’ve been treated to this clip from the smog cast when they’re discussing the third, okay, we skip we skipped all the way to the very end of the of the credits because it looked like there was a like, there was a scene at the end. And they’re waas. Yeah. Welcome this podcast. I’m Kevin Smith. Scott Mosier. Oh, shit. All right, So here’s the third act. He then goes and puts on his suit, you know, made of human skins. And so you realize he’s done this before? Like, I’m not the first lodger and shit like that. So he’s in it. You’re in yours, and you guys have to have one. Morris fights on the beach. Always love each other on you. Start like we start saying is man indeed a walrus it hard. You ultimately get him and fuck, I think what has happened at the end is that once he makes that switch, yeah, he can’t go back like the clinic for the criminally insane or somewhere. And you see, you know, like his buddy, he’s got something wrapped in a newspaper. You know what’s going on? Yes, eyes awesome. And it is like it’s like another walrus enclave. A better version of where he waas because he realized they can’t reverse the process. Yeah, he’s funny. He’s got even in his head. He’s gone full walrus and he throws in the fish and then fucking the walrus man scurries over to it all gross and starts biting at it. The ground they play like some sad piano music roll credits as we pull back in this overhead watching fucking this facial, there’s a song that’s just like big sender in your way. Need a hashtag for this conversation. Needs to grow to hash tags. I am Field that inside. So this actually parlays nicely into something I was. I was mentioning about this movie. It’s written as a comic book. This this movie would work as a comic book very well. And by the way, if you’re not familiar, Kevin Smith does author comic books, and he’s good at it. Ah, really good at it, because because of that dialogue, you just heard that all plays very well on the page because it needs to be obvious. It needs to be exposition, all dialogue. It needs to be all of these things. So if you’re looking for good Kevin Smith comic books, go check out, I think, uh, he has a green arrow. One called my quiver or something like that. Check out that grate shit, not tusk. Yeah, um, to me the best possible ending would have been if they had just put him back together if they just like, yeah, put that, too, and just had him horribly like mangled and stuff. But that would be like the only thing they deem it like have a modicum of redemption for this film is if they just did something as ridiculous is like Oh, yeah, and then they just put him back together. And now he’s like, just a human again. But he’s got legs again, but instead they the most ridiculous. Like I get it like I like. I get the ironic, sad irony of putting him in a in a basically 1\/3 rate zoo in the middle of Manitoba somewhere. But it’s not. See that’s the thing like it goes from again that works in a comic book. Really well, it’s is like, Oh, he’s a walrus. He’s full walrus now, but like you never felt like he was still a human after the reveal anyways. And it’s yeah, and it’s not like it’s not like it’s wasted on me that this was just a goofy goof that was meant to be fun and funding for you to make. But, you know, I mean, presumably people paid to see this. It’s just a giant. Well, not a giant piece of shit. Not a lot, because it is the final bullet points. So $3 million was the budget, and the cumulative worldwide gross was $1.8 million. I’m sure they’re making that up on the back end because it’s been on Netflix for years. I don’t think they make millions of dollars from Netflix, though. I don’t know how. I don’t know. I mean, this is the kind of movie that the buzz around it before it was so large about like, how ridiculous would this movie be a movie about someone turning into a walrus? But you would assume that it would be able to make $3 million But it didnt mostly because anyone that saw it probably told other people, Don’t go see It is bad if I recall human center peed. That was actually so that was released in still in the era of I think that was, like 2007 or eight or nine. Yeah, maybe maybe even six, because I remember walking through the, you know, the Hollywood video and seeing, you know, a wall of human centipede, DVDs and being like, No, thank you. But but But then, you know, I mean, it really kept go like the the hype train for human centipede kept going because it was available was one of the first titles available when Netflix went streaming, I believe. And ah, and so I don’t know, I I don’t know what what? My point is on that other than to say, Ah, I think there’s a definite lane for this kind of movie and it be interesting if it was done right if there were more like human centipede. Not that I’m interested in watching them, because you but But this is very easy to stomach. In my opinion, this tusk is just Ah, yes. So we had two people request this, and I think they’re both patrons. I think a couple other people that were just reached out to some social media said, Check it out. So, um, we need more people asking for human centipede so I could make David watch it because he does not want to watch a video if you want us to review human centipede send us Ah, Senate Seema Info horror movie talk dot com or reach out on Facebook. Okay, so let’s move on to final recommendations. Who do you think should watch this Brown? Just just don’t pull a father like this is one that you should just search for clips on YouTube. Just get get the idea. Probably believe the only scene. I mean, it’s on Netflix, so you can skip through it. The only scenes that are interesting are the scene where Wallace and Howard are talking. When the introduction and an hour talking about his past and then him fainting skip forward to the reveal. Yeah, and that will give you a taste of, like, how much quality this movie is. Everything. Everything else is totally dispensed. Maybe maybe the very end, maybe, like the walrus fight and then the end scene with them feeding the fish Like it? Yeah, really? It’s only two things that it is on Netflix. So if you are watching looking for something horrific Ah, thio be on in the background. It is getting towards October. So I guess you could Yeah, this is but also the witches on Netflix. So watch for real I would rather watch the witch, like, five more times than watch this. Yes, but first time. Yes, but you don’t want you like you want to soak in every second of the witch. This you could just put on in the background. That’s right. Yeah. Maybe you could watch it while you’re working. Um, okay, So final recommendations is just, like, just don’t this problem, really? Don’t. Who would like it, though? Like whose? It would be a big fan of this. Oh, Kevin Smith. Fanboys mostly, uh, or, you know, people. I mean, this is one of those ones that’s a really low bar of entry into body horror. So if you if you like full moon production stuff, if you like, Just like absolute shitty horror movies to make fun of, This is Ah ah. Maybe close to that. Yeah, but but the So here’s here’s an interesting thought. So in order to get this made or gauge responsiveness of like who would like to see this story? Kevin Smith started a hashtag campaign of walrus. Yes. And hashtag walrus. Yes. And hashtag walrus. No. And and so you know, we could Dio is we could start that that campaign right back up and just ah, tweeted Kevin Smith hashtag walrus. No, just just light him up and and, you know, tag us horror movie talk in there and let’s see if let’s see if we can get Kevin Smith angrily rant and give us exactly what we want. Some some time on from his valuable is super valuable podcast This month, the podcast mum cast So, uh, so hashtag walrus. No. Yeah. Um, okay, let’s move on Thio Games and bits. New Way never did the mid roll. I don’t think so. We didn’t do the middle. So Hey, guys, if you would like to support the show if you if you find this funny or interesting or even annoying, you can go ahead and head on over to our website at horror movie talk dot com, check on out at the top of the page there. If you want to become a patron, that helps us out a whole lot. Still, only one tear on that five bucks a month gets you grandfathered into all the eventual tears that we will offer, and it gets you access to all after pods, which there’s quite a few of now, And that’s like kind of the therapy time after the show, where Bryce and I talk about are weak and, you know, and then we have a cry and then we laugh, and then we cry more so you can do that. Another way you can support us is there’s another button that just send you the Amazon. I think it’s linked to just all of the horror films that are available for DVD, but pretty much if you click on that link and buy anything on Amazon. Even if you’re like buying kitty litter, your monthly kitty litter or something, just click on that banner will get a little taste of what you spend on Amazon. Um, big, big news. I have big news. So there was some question about the shutter code. Not working. Our HMT code was not working with Shutter to get you. When at checkout, When you check out for shutter, you enter HMT it check out and it should get you 30 free day, 30 day free trial to shutter, which is, ah, horror movie streaming platform, and it’s really great, and I got it fixed. So get back on their if you’ve already signed up for Shutter, just use that HMT code on a different email address. Yeah, and Ah. And now we’re really trying Thio knock it out of the park with them because they’re actually gonna track They’re actually gonna track how we do instead of, I don’t know, potentially forgetting about us like they did before. Yeah, So I know there’s at least two people that said that they tried and it didn’t work. So we just want to let you know that that’s available again. We haven’t mentioned in the last couple episodes, but yeah, 30 day free trial on Shuter. If you use code hmt a chicken, please rush to shudder and use it. There’s all I think, the 1st 6 nightmare on Elm Street’s on Shuter streaming right now. If you like streaming horror, it’s the best way to go for sure. Um, finally, we’ve put a call out to ah to call for writers for our block if you’re interested in writing about horror movies, um, and horror movie topics not necessarily reviews, because that’s what we do in the episodes. But horror movie topics um, we’re accepting submissions reach out to us on Facebook or Twitter, and we’ll be happy to see what you got in. We could give you suggestions if you can’t come up with an idea. Yeah, and we’ve had some people reach out to us, and I’m super excited because it sounds like they are, you know, horror connoisseurs. And and so they have some interesting content coming your way soon. All right, let’s move on Years, tagline. Taglines is a game where we come up with alternate taglines for the movie we’re reviewing. So I’ll go first. You go first, actually. Yeah. Okay. Tusk. It takes a bite out of your time. Ah, Tusk. You’ve heard the saying that this cat has claws? Well, this walrus has heart tusk touching tale of a man who loves a walrus and a man who is a walrus. Dusk, Thea Oscar goes to Justin Long. He was He was shafted that year, man. I mean, he really should have got it. Yeah. I mean, how are you supposed to act with your tongue? Cut out Tusk Human scent ap Sorry, Tusk Human Centipede without all the fixings. Tusk. At least we know that Kevin Smith has less money to make movies like this Now Tusk picture a 10 minute long story stretched out in the one hour and 40 minutes and Oh, yeah, Johnny Depp That’s all I got. I got some more. OK, go for Tusk. It could have used Jay and silent Bob Tusk. I think a tusk the same way I think of people with blue hair. It’s just like, Oh, it exists. Yeah, look atyou. Let’s not interact with it. Let’s I know everything I need to know about you now. Oh, I was thinking like elderly people. Blue hairs like blue hair. No, I’m talking about, like, dyed blue hair. Okay? Yeah, It’s just like, Oh, yeah. And you all have the same picture. We’re all thinking of the same person. Um, I think I have one more. Ah Ah, yeah, I don’t actually, if they this would have been a very interesting film if it was a Jay and Silent Bob sequel, right? If it was silent Bob, that was turned into the walrus. Whoa, Dude, look at this crazy crap is going on over here. And that’s this. Worst J was just like observing. Yeah, Yeah, I really could have called him Fat boy. Okay, last bit. Gonna talk some horror movie news s so we don’t have to cover all of this. I’ve put a bunch of quotes in here If there’s anything interesting that we actually want to go deeper into. Netflix is S O Netflix just released a trailer for their Netflix and Chills event kind of event things. So it’s a special Halloween season release schedule of four original horror movies who so first on September 27th they’re gonna put out in the shadow of the moon. Um, but but but but s. So it’s like a serial killer movie. That’ll be I’m excited for a serial killer movie. Yeah, they’ve got a lot of serial killer content on Netflix should. And if you, if you start watching like mine, Henderson will forget about it. You’re like the algorithm will be like, Oh, you like serial killers. Here’s Here’s all the fucking serial killers. It’s just like every TV anyway. Um, on October 4th, they release in The Tall Grass, which is based on a novella by Stephen King and Joe Hill. So if any of these jump out at you that you want more information, anything, people being sure we could read the synopsis, but I don’t really care that much. No running Over Fractured will be released on October 11th. I don’t know what fractions about on. Then Eli, released on October 18th is about something, and then rattlesnake. We’ll be released on October 25th. It’s also about something also about presumably a rattlesnake. I think I think fractured has someone recognizable in it. Okay, you go, you’ll figure it out. Um, so So this is notable because Netflix does know how to do horror movies. Like if If you remember about this time last year, maybe November last year we reviewed the ritual, which is, Ah, horror movie done by Netflix. Great. Just Ah, really? Yeah, there’s there’s there’s been some good content put out on Netflix. The ritual The Apostle is probably worth watching, Even Bird Box and the profound bird bird box was fabulous. We’ve reviewed all of those, um, so yeah, they’re kind of going a little deeper into horror. They actually released a special you Earl that will land you on all of Netflix’s horror offerings. If you go to dub dub dub dot netflix dot com slash netflix and chills. It’ll just put you on the landing page for the horror genre. That’s just a quick if you want to simulate shudder. Yeah, through Netflix. You could do that. But why would you want to do that? You know 30. 40 trial by using HMT. Um so well, in the in the poster, this episode will put ah link to the YouTube trailer for that Netflix and Chills event. Next item synapse Films Bringing is Bringing Dario are Gento, Suspiria to four K ultra HD in November on November 19th 2019. That’ll be cool and be a full restoration fork. A restoration of the uncut, uncensored Italian 35 millimeter negative with color correction supervised by cinematographer Luciano Tivoli, Jonno and ah, but but but But it’s a great I don’t think I’ve actually watched the original yet, but we reviewed the remake, which is apparently nothing like the original. I’ve seen bits and pieces of the original, and it is effective. There’s a reason it’s good. Yeah, special features. We’ll include two audio commentaries by authors and our gentle scholars, Derek Botello and David Dill, Vala Troy Howarth. Whatever. Um, bunch of other special features. 123456 Like six notable special features. You can check it out. We’ll put ah the list on the post for this episode. John Carpenter’s Halloween is returning to select theaters beginning September 27th. Yeah, this will be This will be huge. Yeah, it’s ah restored and remastered digital prints, and it was created under the supervision of world renowned cinematographer Dean Cundy. Um, so that will be interesting. Actually, I check the schedule and it’s gonna be a Kiggens theater. Oh, shit. Which is interesting, because last year we went to kick ins theater to watch the original Halloween, but was put up put on by just a local podcast here. Yeah, a small cast, if you will. A, uh, it’s the podcast called the horror killer. I’ll, um, you check them out. Um, if you’re interested in that, get tickets at www dot cinna life entertainment dot com slash events Last Halloween. Another news item. Brendan Fraser is all in for a new mummy movie. Should the opportunity present itself. Shocking Hollywood collectively replies. Yeah, we know guys, just if anything was going on over there like anything at all, I’m really I’m just really excited about whatever it is you’re excited about. Yeah, and it seems like the most likely thing of that is the moment. So it’s like if Christopher Lloyd said, Hey, guys, I’m all for doing another back to the future sequel if you if you need me like yeah, we know, like obviously way, we know that you’re not doing anything. You would make a great that right. We’re not doing that right now or it’s like the Bill, the Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure sequel that’s coming up the not Chiana Reeves guy. It’s probably like, Oh, thank God that it is. I thought that was an interesting but I I don’t understand what brought in and Frasier did to fall out of. I think he was. Well, uh, he got he got fatter and uglier, lost his hair, But George of the Jungle, though Yeah, well, I was never a huge Brendan Fraser friend. To be honest, I didn’t mind him. He hit me. He hit all the expected marks. For what about Monkeybone? Bryce monkey pants. Just always like I could always expect. Kind of kind of not that funny, but goofy but passable. I gotta fuck that’s that’s That’s where he’s at. I got a fun recollection of high school where I was like trying to be a human being for a moment. You know, where I was, like, I don’t know how to be like you people. So let me. So I got one of those three ring binders that had, like, a clear sleeve for the, you know, to put whatever it was. And I was like, Oh, kids are like displaying artistic things on their binders, saws. They just printed out a giant picture of Brendan Fraser. It’s alarming how close you are. So I had a subscription to PlayStation magazine, and in it was a an ad for a wacky looking movie that I had never seen or really heard of. But it was called Monkeybone, and it had, like, a weird little suggestive themes and and kind of fun little. So I took an Exacto knife and cut out all the little little portions of this, including Brendan Fraser and and the wording Monkeybone at the top and displayed them at is like a shadow box at the front of my three ring binder. And then kids just called this was like sophomore year. And then I was Monkeybone. Wow. How much did you regret that after watching the film? I was I was bought and I was like, This is how I do it right? And they’re like, Yeah, look at you. Stupid. No book. I was like, Okay, I’m doing it. I think I’m fitting. So you go Really was like, I got my niche. Now I’m monkey find monkey book like that. I didn’t even like I knew it wasn’t quite, like matching up with how later art being artistic work, right? But it was It was the best. I had, like a right. Nice. And now you have a fair to middling podcast. Showed all of them fuckers. Who’s Monkeybone now? Idiot. Um, speaking of shudder, we weren’t speaking to shutter, but we’ve mentioned them. So should have released a trailer for an original film called Blood Machines. The trailer looks is actually really interesting. It’s kind of like it’s a cosmic horror movie that looks a lot along the style of, um, Mandy. Lots of color, but kind of cosmic or elements will link the trailer on the post to crowdfunded English language French production that follows to space hunters who witness a mystical phenomenon when they see the ghost of young one crawl out of a machine they destroyed. That sounds like right up my alley in the Like that I love the cosmic. Or that’s my favorite. No, no release date as of yet, but go check out the trailer is pretty interesting. We’ll have it on the post for this. This episode at horror movie talk dot com Andy Machete details to deleted scenes that would be part of a potential supercut of both it movies. So I think we mentioned this on the last episode that that Andy Machete has said that he’s interested in doing a supercut where he combines both it films into one gigantic, like six and 1\/2 hour long movie. He talked about two scenes. There’s a scene in the 16 hundreds. These decided not to put in to the film because it was a little confusing would touch more on the origin story of Pennywise. He also talked about a deleted scene where the celestial turtle ner known as mature in an ancient figure who appears in King’s It novel as well as the dark tower. So Okay, good cuts. You know, it’s interesting. Actually, the Pennywise origin stuff might might have been interesting, but ah, yeah, that Z is interesting when you have, like, a two hour and 45 minutes. What? What is cut like At what? At some point, your leg Was there anything that hit the cutting room floor other than his feet on DA And, you know, it’s interesting to it. Chapter two is getting a lot of flack right now for not being LGBT friendly. The Pennywise air Pennywise was very homophone is not, As it turns out, he’s a bad guy. Yeah, he’s not. He’s not accepted. He’s fired. I can get on board with the eating children part, but I draw the line at homophobia. Why would you want him to be inclusive of any part of you? Why would you want him to be on your side anyways? Um, cut more things. Amanda Seyfried is in talks to star Netflix’s horror thriller Things Heard and Seen, uh, which is a movie that could be directed by Sherry Springer. Berman and Robert Pulcini, who were directed her, were nominated for an Oscar for American Splendor. Did you ever see that movie never did. Paul Giamatti as the famous comic book writer. I can’t remember his name. Do you have a good? Do you have a good impression of him of Paul Giamatti? Yeah. No. Okay, I just can’t stop thinking of I can’t remember who it is that does all the Paul Giamatti impressions. I think it’s on the Adam Corolla show, but where it’s just, he’s just on injury. Think I from private parts basically a pig pig vomit. Big moment. Anyone’s that’s That was a really good movie, so this might be like a pretty good movie. The story, a story of things Heard and Seen, centers on a young couple who moved to farm near a small town in upstate New York. Their new home is cursed by the murder of its former owners, and as haunted secrets revealed themselves, the husband and wife’s own marriage reveals itself to have it darkness of its own. Stop it, Um, okay, a couple. Just two more things and we’re gonna go. Toni Colette, our favorite from hereditary, joins the cast of Guillermo del Toro. Is it guilt? Gilera? Guillermo, this is saying it right. This is the most difficult region ever done. Toni Collette are fair from her secretary, Gilma de Toro’s. It’s only hard because because Bryce Hansen is reading it. He’s a mealy mouth piece, a shit Guillermo del Toro’s Nightmare Alley, the next movie being directed by Guillermo del Toro. And it’s an adaptation of the novel by William Lindsay Gresham, which was published in 1946. The novel spawned its first feature film just one year later, starring Tyrone Powers and blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Who cares? Uhm, Tyrone is like the strongest name you could give a child. Well, other than Murdoch, Murdoch is fucking strong to my. My youngest middle name is Murdock on Lee because I couldn’t convince Errand to give it as his first name. But if there was any kid that was named Murdoch, would it not be calling totally would be column is such a fucking Murdock? Yeah, we’re over at your home, Murdoch. We were over at David’s daughter’s birthday, her third birthday last week last week, and your sister in law Look at Colin. It was like, How old is he? Was like, Oh, yeah, This month, he’s gonna turn to She’s like God, he he’s not too yet because he was standing next to Charlotte’s bigger than my three year old. Yeah, he’s just and my three year old is not small like she dwarfs a lot of these way fi kids like there like she’s, she’s I mean, she’s not thick or anything like that. But she’s she’s not a small girl. Yeah, if you were to, like, take a normal sized three year old and like having put their arms down to their side. If you were to, like, draw a rectangle around their shoulders and the arms of their side, widen it by about like an inch, that would be just Collins chest. Absolute unit. Um, he’s wide so that that Nightmare Alley notable also in the cast is Bradley Cooper, Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, and sounds like a really good cast. That’s gonna be huge. That could be good, of course. Like I don’t know, Bird box and And the perfection had a really good cast, too. But they’re like, Dude, what do you talk about Bird Box? And is he was huge. Do you remember that? Like this head of steam on that? Yeah. No, I mean, I guess I like both of those films. I like Bird box. A lot is a phenomenon. Uh, okay, So, sadly, Final final. No, The nail in the coffin finally dropping a movie pass shuts down with its parent company citing failure to raise funds on Friday movie past notified remaining subscribers All you bless your heart for still subscribing a movie past. I’m sure they’re very, very shocked at this, but they’re going to shut down. Service is effective September 14th. So it already happened. As of this podcast release, um, its efforts to recapitalize movie pass have not been successful to date. Um, and even even with movie passes of evident demise, I read the press release. It’s actually, like, kind of bittersweet. I kind of felt bad for him because they mentioned that they really did change the movie industry. The yeah, yeah. They in effect accomplished their purpose one year ago. This time one year ago, we were we were subscribed to it. Yeah, it was great for like, a week. And then, like they the shit hit the fan in terms of capitalization and they just could not provide. Service is I think It was just kind of off and on for like, actually providing the service that they promised. But even with movie passes evident demise, the service’s spurred theater chains, including AMC Regal and Cinemark Tow, launch their own rival subscription plans. And last month, Emcee said it. Stubbs A List program, which lets subscribers see three movies weekly for 20 bucks a month, had hit 900,000 subscribers. See, here’s my here’s Here’s My Angle. I’m going to try and get a M C on board. Tiu sponsor us to sponsor them. T sponsor that their service? Because Because, let me tell you, Bryce AMC already sponsors the show. There, they own shutter. That’s true. So let’s let’s got to have some sort of hashtag walrus. Yes, or horror movie talk? Yes, for AMC HMT sponsorship. Yes, yeah, we It would be so sweet Thio to get some sort of deal going. Let’s do Let’s start the hash tag. AMC hashtag AMC sponsorship for HMT now. Yes, don’t do that. We’ll think about it and we’ll get back to you with something that might actually work. Or if you work for AMC Corporate, you just drop him a line and tell us to contact us. That whatever. Um, whatever. That’s our show for today. Oh, it is not. I would like to say thank you to a few people. Jeannie Borland, who gave us a stellar review on Facebook, Who’s like these guys. Brightened my bright my drive Every time I’m going to work, I’m like, Hey, Janey, Thank you. Yeah, it’s really nice. We really appreciate you and listening to us and the nice words that you said about us And also her birthday was Friday the 13. Wow. Dude, I wonder if she’s still with us. Do you wish we had planned? Still with us? Yeah. I mean, your birthday on Friday the 13th. They’re gonna make it out of that. I really wish we had planned for Friday the 13th and released like a nightmare on Elm Street episode. You mean a Friday? The 13th episode? No, I would do. Why would we do that? Yeah, I don’t know. Um, that’s a good point. Also, I’d like to say thank you to ah, Steven, Michael, for for basically just just interacting with us basically constantly on Facebook. I love it. And, uh, e really latched onto the Scorpion King. Uh, add that we ran last week on the chapter two. So thank you, guys if and if I’m missing your name. You know what? I would like to give a shout out to somebody I think about frequently whenever I burp on the show. Dana. Dana, Thank that if you’re still listening. Thank you. I love you. And I think of you every time I burp literally. Um, yeah, thanks. Especially to all our patrons on patri on. We hope you enjoy our exclusive content. If you want to become a patron and unlock exclusive patron content, you can get access to our after pods as well as our one off episodes such as our review of the IT miniseries from 1990. Again be like Janie, review the show, especially on apple podcast. If you have an iPhone, um, give us our AA rating. You don’t even have to leave a review. Just a rating. Be nice. I mean, if you want to be nice about it, you know, five started. I mean, I’m not gonna ask for it, but if you if you’re a nice person, yeah, he’d give a spy, sir. Um, as Well, don’t forget to share the podcast with a friend. It’s the only way we grow and go to our website At horror movie talk dot com, you’ll find links to all our social media and and share links and subscribe buttons and all the doodads and dude as, um, don’t forget to click through that Amazon Associates button and the banner if you’re gonna buy anything on Amazon. Ah, a big shout out to all our international fans. You know who you are. The standout is obviously Magnus there in Sweden. Magnus the man. We got a lot of people listening in the UK Got a lot of people listening in. Ah, Australia. You in South America, we’ve gotten a couple people reach out. Yeah. Good day, mate. Put another shrimp on the Barbie. The country of South America, the whole country of so Okay. All right, guys, have a great week. We love you, bye!
It Chapter Two Review
Sep 11, 2019
We saw It Chapter Two, and I have to say, I can make plenty of criticisms about this movie, but on the whole, this is a well done ending to a high budget franchise that has delivered the scares.
It Chapter Two Trailer
https://youtu.be/xhJ5P7Up3jA
It Chapter Two full movie is available to pre-purchase and rental on Amazon, and probably other places
If you would like to be reminded of the first chapter of this series which is also directed by Andy Muschietti, check out our review from last week, where we go over the whole first chapter. It Chapter Two picks up 27 years later and details the lives of the kids turned adults from the first movie. As a quick recap, our character list is:
Ben – The fat boy/new kid turned CEO hunk played by Jay Ryan
Bill – Stutterer turned author played by James McAvoy
Rich – Biting wit who wears glasses turned Comedian played by Bill Hader
Mike – Token black kid who stayed in Derry played by Isaiah Mustafa
Eddie – Munchausen by proxy kid turned Munchausen by proxy adult played by James Ransone
Stan – Feeble Jewish kid turned feeble Jewish adult played by Andy Bean
Mike, Rich, Bill, Bev, and Ben, but no Eddie…
Mike, has begun to notice nefarious happenings in Derry and as you might guess, it’s been 27 years since the Loser’s Club made their pact to fight It if it ever came back. Mike sends the call out to all of his long-lost friends, and they respond with dread, but come home anyway.
The Loser’s Club has a cloud of forgetfulness that has descended upon them in the time since their Derry days, and Mike, being the only member to stay in Derry has to help them recall what happened and how they can beat it.
As the Loser’s Club sets out on Derry, they are reminded of the reason they left, the clown, the fear, and the life they left behind.
It Chapter Two Movie Review
It Chapter Two is similar enough to the first movie that you can rely on many of the same things that worked. The intense subject matter, your mom jokes, and the camaraderie are all there. We even get the kids cast back for a bounty of flashbacks and memories. It also has a hefty bag of very effective scares, that are less frequent, but more potent.
“How about a hand?!” No thanks PW…
Where It Chapter Two differs is the length and interesting subject matter. At 2h 49min, It Chapter Two is more than a half-hour longer than the first entry. I’ve never been a fan of long movies because at the 2h 30min mark I just feel like any reasonable story can fit everything and the kitchen sink in there. My mind wandered multiple times through the emotion-driven dialog, and it was a bit boring.
I wasn’t a big fan of the action-laden ending either. That being said, this is a solid horror movie that may be one of the most successful franchises ever, and it’s not without good reason. The cast, acting, direction, and story are great. There is fun to be had, and the scares are for real. I wish they kept it tighter.
Score for It Chapter Two Movie
8/10
Spoilers for It Chapter Two
Introduction to Our Adult Characters
It Chapter Two opens with a few recollections from the first movie, including a shot of Bev in the trappings of the Dead Lights, but the most notable first scene is the savage beating on some gay men in Derry. These men are having a fun time at the local carnival and are then picked on by the local hate group. The group beat one of the gay men to the point that everyone in the audience was audibly uncomfortable. Then they tossed him into the river, where, you guessed it, Pennywise was waiting for him.
Time to see the dentist!
This scene was somewhat out of place but extremely notable. I get it, it’s meant to set up that fear is back in town. It shows that this movie is about brutality. It just didn’t involve any of the main characters at all, and it felt strange.
The movie then brings us up to speed with every character in the Loser’s Club – that’s right, all seven of them. This is a theme in the movie, “let’s check in with Bill for five to ten minutes.” which would be fine if there weren’t six to seven people to catch up with the whole way through the movie.
Thankfully, Stan takes pity upon the audience early in the movie and kills himself in the bathtub when Mike calls him to tell him about the return of Pennywise.
The Loser’s Club has become an adult version of themselves. Bev is in an abusive relationship; Eddie basically married his mom and does risk assessment; Rich is a comedian.
The old Bowers boy was arrested as a youth after killing his father and has been placed in a prison for the mentally ill. His inclusion in this movie is another point that could have easily been left out, and the movie wouldn’t have suffered.
The Chinese Restaurant Scene
The Loser’s Club meets for the first time in years at the Chinese Restaurant in Derry where they quickly fall into their childhood roles of your mom jokes and noogies. Then the fortune cookies come out, and things get crazy. Fortune cookies start running amok, and Mike is left smashing the place up, it’s funny.
“Heya Bill!”
Finding the Artifacts
Each of the Loser’s need to find their artifact or the thing that ties them to It. Mike basically leads them down the path toward defeating It, and it begins with his knowledge of how It got here. He talked to a Native American tribe, the Shakopee, that had passed down how to beat Pennywise down through their tribe ever since he showed up like a ball of light from outer space in the previous century. They beat it with the ritual of Chud making the light, dark.
Hey Gram, tell me about Derry.
So, the friends split up to find their respective totems and artifacts. Beverly heads to her old apartment where she meets with the new resident, a kindly grandma who has some strange hostess habits.
Rich heads to the town square park and has a run in with a Paul Bunyun statue that knocked my socks off. I mean, it scared the shit out of me.
Bill finds his old bike for sale in an antiques shop run by Stephen King himself and then runs into Pennywise a few times in the sewer, and a carnival.
Eddie visits the town pharmacist to find the most unsanitary conditions I can imagine in the backroom. There is a vomit comet – it’s super effective.
Eventually the characters find their artifacts and totems, and they are:
Bill – Paper boat
Eddie – Inhaler
Bev – Note from Ben (She thinks it’s from Bill)
Ben – Yearbook page Bev signed
Rich – Token from arcade
Stan – Head wraps from hideout
Mike – ? – Mike’s artifact might have been a newspaper clipping detailing his parent’s death
The Action-Laden Ending
I won’t go into terrible detail about the end of this movie, so if that’s something you are dying to hear about, listen to the podcast. What I will say is this movie takes a hard turn when our group goes to confront Pennywise in his lair below the sewer system that they defeated him in in the first chapter. It turns into a spooky action movie.
Look, I get it – it’s what happened in the book. Fine. They even set up the weak ending for the whole damn movie by constantly saying that Bill writes weak endings for his books. Bill is the Stephen King stand-in that he includes in every book. It wasn’t super effective for me and it lasted at least ten minutes longer than I felt it needed to.
That being said, it worked to an extent and stayed true to the source material. It’s not like you can just rewrite the ending to perhaps the most iconic horror novel ever written and not get any flack. Plus, what would you do if you went off the source material? It’s already so deep into a weird place that IT may as well be a giant spider!
The group defeats it by shouting it down, minimizing their fears, and taking the bite out of the things they are most scared of.
Final Recommendations for It Chapter Two
If you are a horror fan, this is one of the biggest titles there is, period. It’s not only big, it’s good. The scares are real, the story is compelling, and there are plenty of laughs. Catch this in theaters, and if the thought of a (near) three hour long movie make you tired, bring a pillow because you will still have fun.
IT (2017) Review
Sep 04, 2019
In preparation for IT Chapter 2 coming out this week, we watched IT (2017) as well as the 1990 Miniseries starring Tim Curry. If you haven’t seen IT and are a horror fan, you are probably in the minority, since it (IT?) is the highest grossing horror movie of all time.
IT 2017 Poster
We watched It. We already have seen it, but we watched it again. It was good. We liked it. THE MOVIE IT!
https://youtu.be/hAUTdjf9rko
IT is available to rent on Amazon Prime, Youtube and other places probably.
IT (2017) is a total rip off of Stranger Things. It features a group of boys in the 80s who discover a young girl with the special power to give them boners.
Actually, IT (2017) is based on the Stephen King novel “IT”. The film follows “the losers club” which is a motley crew of six young boys and a girl who find themselves haunted by Pennywise the Dancing Clown played by Bill Skarsgård. Pennywise is very literally dread incarnate, and torments the group of kids with their worst fears. Upon research, the group finds out that Pennywise has been tormenting and killing children for millenia.
IT Movie Review
The film tackles the source material admirably. It’s hard to capture on screen the concept of the monster being fear itself. You get a real feeling of dread throughout, and it remains one of the best group coming of age stories, second only to King’s other adaptation: Stand By Me.
I’m glad I got to watch this again, because my first viewing was so colored by my nostalgia for the 1990 TV miniseries starring Tim Curry. And while I still do like the direction of the Pennywise character a little better in the miniseries, I think that overall IT 2017 is a far superior film. We watched the miniseries to be able to compare it to this film and the upcoming Chapter 2, and I don’t know what to tell you, it does not hold up.
IT 2017 is one of the best mainstream, general audience horror movies to come out in the last decade. Director Andy Muschietti keeps most of the dread from the source material and includes some modern production and jump scares to appeal to fans of the Conjuring universe. Overall, I really liked it even more the second time.
This film has probably the best child cast of all time. Comparisons are readily made to Stranger Things (especially since Finn Wolfhard is in both) but the acting from these kids in IT (2017) is far superior in my opinion.
The opening scene with Georgie losing the paper boat that Bill made for him. This is the scene that really sells every version of this story, whether it’s the novel, the miniseries, or the modern iteration. The main difference here is that Muschietti leans into the “hard-R” when Georgie’s arm is graphically ripped off by Pennywise.
Georgie, giving Pennywise a hand.
Pennywise isn’t the only danger in IT. Henry Bowers and his gang torment the group of friends on the regular throughout the film. And torment is putting it lightly. Henry doesn’t just bully them, he tortures them. In another scene that shows the commitment of making the film a heavy into the paint of an R-rating, Henry deeply carves his initials into poor Ben’s stomach.
All of a sudden, the gimmicky side kicks obsessed with fire or belching seems strangely out of place. But, come on, who doesn’t like a character named Belch?
BRRRRAAAAAUUUUUUPP
The Losers Club Fears
Throughout IT, there are scenes that show the different fears of the Losers Club.
Bill’s fear of actually accepting that his brother Georgie is dead.
Mike’s fear of burning alive like his parents
Stanley’s fear of a creepy painting
Stanley’s creepy painting coming to life.
Ben’s fear of the headless kid he discovered during researching the town’s history.
Bev’s fear of the sink
Eddie’s fear of germs / Lepers
Richie’s fear of clowns
Some of these work better than others. Stanley’s creepy painting feels like it is straight out of The Conjuring. Wait… It is taken straight out of the Conjuring.
Look Familiar?
Richie’s fear of clowns also felt very tacked on. It seemed like an excuse to include a room full of clowns.
Ben’s fear also felt kind of tacked on, but at least it made sense in the moment. As he was researching about the town’s past tragedies, he notices a decapitated head in a tree.
Can we also just take a moment to point out how shitty the librarian is for encouraging Ben to stop studying and go play with friends?
Why you reading tho?
The Ending of IT 2017 Explained
The ending of the film is very satisfying. The children realize that Pennywise has no power over them as long as they aren’t scared of him and realize that everything he throws at them is an illusion.
As Pennywise’s power is sapped from him, they proceed to kick his ass and free all the children that are floating in his lair. Unfortunately, they all seem to be already dead.
Hey… I guess they do all float down here.
Final Recommendations for IT
I definitely recommend watching and even rewatching IT (2017) , especially as the sequel is coming out this week. It is a horror movie of the highest caliber, that doesn’t shy away from shocking you with violence against children.
Transcription of the Episode
Expand for the full transcription of this week’s episode
This episode of horror movie talk brought to you by seat creep, the best app for buying tickets to sporting events and concerts that you never had a chance to buy. What’s that? You say you were on the ticket master site and ordered the second they went on sale and nothing good was left. That’s because we bought them within nanoseconds of them going on sale so no one else could go ahead and cry to Ticketmaster. They’re in on it, too. Sure, you could buy the tickets that are left at the back row behind a pillar, but you know you’re going to buy from a scalper. Might as well be from us because fuck you. Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny horror movie review Show your panel of experts. Hosts each week are Dr Bryce Hansen, who holds a phD in Spook ology, and Professor David Day, the foremost expert in Scare No nose. New theatrical releases always get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and horrible. I am Bryce Hanson and I’m Davide, and we’ve been having technical difficulties. Yeah, man, it’s been an hour of trying to get things set up, right. And now I have to get up again and adjust my I’m so irritated, and it’s gonna be a great episode. Okay, Yeah. We have two identical mike’s that I’ve had since, you know, for, like, a decade. But I haven’t really used until now. And one of them just shit the bed for some reason. So we could really use some more patriotic of you. Anyways, uh, we got a great show for you today. We’re gonna be talking about it. 2017 2017 0 I thought we were talking about sex. Oh, no, no. This little episode have been prayer Parent for the wrong thing on. Do that, though, before we get into it. I just want to plug our website horror movie talk dot com. There you can find links to our social media and various links to podcast subscription platforms. We post every Wednesday, so subscribe. And if you use iTunes Sorry. Use apple podcast. Leave us a rating. Also, our good friend David Day has a podcast on the side called the Positive A cast. This is a short daily podcast where I just tried to inject your day with some you know, some good feelings and rights groups, retreats, talking about making people feel good, talking about making yourself feel good. And just generally, you know, getting your day started off for ended off, right? So and it’s actually it’s been doing pretty good since the Rice Krispie treat debacle. Things have been picking up quite a bit so again today we’re gonna be talking about it. The movie from 2017. We’re going to start out by giving a brief review and our score for the film. We scored on a scale of 1 to 10 1 being miserable and ah, 10 being so good at transcends genre boundaries. And five just being a completely average film that hits all the expected marks. Yeah, you guys know how one through 10 works after we give the score will get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into what we like and hated about the film. And then later we’ll be doing perennial favorite bit tagline haggling. Hey, um you know, uh, we kind of I wanted to do another round of horror or porno, which is probably my favorite bit that we’ve ever done from our last episode, but it might be like to. Well, first of all, I didn’t have enough time to prepare for it. Because we’ve spent It’s a very, very, very useful time watching the miniseries from 1990. So it was worth it. And ah, but also having it back to back, You know, we don’t want to fatigue. Well, I mean, that’s like a special. That’s a special game, you know, though, I do it next time, you know, But that ready That last episode that we released, ready or not is I mean, so we’re recording this, you know, obviously, before you’re listening to this, we don’t do this list. Isn’t life? I thought this was radio. It’s just how time works. You do things before they happen, as and sometimes as they’re happening anyway, so that the past is more past In the past, we had this debate earlier, but ah, no, the ready or not episode it is on track to be one of our very best downloaded episodes ever. Um, and, uh, even that one had a debacle around it. We’ve had a Yeah, my wife. Rough technical issues Week. My wife is Ah, potentially thinking about stopping by because she’s so angry about Hori horror or porno. Uh, she I I started playing it for her, and she was like, This is fun. And then ah, and then it got to a point where she was like, I do not I no longer support you doing this show anymore because she was so upset so she might stop by on this episode. And ah, and let us have a piece of her mind. We’ll see. Ah, so moving into the review, he watched it. We already have seen it, but we watched it again. It was way liked it. If the movie it was it was good, it was good. Yeah, it was pretty good. No, it we have to emphasize it s episode. It was good, right? Just like on the miniseries in the nineties miniseries. They really hit that it hard. Yeah, by the way. It’s like I said earlier. Defeat it. Like Bryce said earlier, we we just got done last night watching the longest fucking movie of I’ve ever seen ever. Well, it’s supposed to be watched in two parts, which we actually kind of did. But the miniseries from from 90 and we’re gonna be releasing an episode where we go over that dredge, um, for our patri on members and man, that that thing is just packed full of nostalgia. And I mean, that thing is, that thing is the thing that movie studios tap into when they’re like, we gotta make stranger thing, pull out the footage. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, here’s the trailer for it. 2017 near kid universes rolls around. You think that you’ll always be protected and cared for, Then one day, you realize that’s not sure. Because we near alone as a kid monster. See you is weaker. You don’t even know they’re getting closer until it’s too late. Yeah. Did you get my grandfather thinks this town is cursed. That all the bad things that happened in this town because of one thing and evil thing. So is he looking with me two? I saw something. Clown. Yeah, I saw him too. What happens when another torch goes missing one of us? We’re just gonna pretend it isn’t happening Like everyone else in this town. If we stick together Wait. Yeah, but yeah, flow. So it is available to rent on Amazon prime. That’s where we watched it. It’s also in YouTube and probably other places. Probably, you know where you get movies. It 2017 is a total rip off of stranger things. It features a group of boys in the eighties who discover a young girl with the special power to give them boners. Actually, 2017 is based on the Stephen King novel It. The film follows the Losers Club, which is a motley crew of six young boys and a girl who find themselves haunted. Bye Pennywise, the dancing clown played by a Bill scars guard, Pennywise is very literally dread incarnate and torments the group of kids with their worst fears. Upon research, the group finds out that Pennywise has been tormenting and killing children for millennia. The film tackles the source material admirably. It’s hard to capture on screen the concept of the monster being fear itself. That’s kind of the idea that Stephen King was going for just that feeling of. I think the opening sequence is the best illustration of that of Georgie going down a dark stairway into the basement to get something. Yeah, because I think that’s like a universal fear. Yes, that everyone experiences in childhood where you don’t know what you’re scared of. But it’s there. But whatever it’s going to get you, it’s like whenever you whenever you think it’s gonna get me What what is that? And that’s what Stephen King is trying to use as the monster in it. Yeah, Irrational fear. All right, Um, so the film, that’s pretty good of capturing that idea. You get a feeling of dread throughout. It remains one of the best coming of age stories, second only to King’s other adaption. Stand by me. I mean, I think it’s you know, I mean, there’s several that have done done it. Now it’s it’s hard to think of one. I mean, they think one better than stand by me is like the pinnacle obvious like I can. But that was that was the whole purpose of that, right? Where is that? This is not necessary so much. This is That is a nice sidebar in it. I’m glad to watch its watch this film again, because my first viewing was so colored by my nostalgia for the 1990 miniseries starring Tim Curry. And while I do like the direction of the Pennywise character a little better in the miniseries. I think that the overall IT 2017 is a superior film. We watched the miniseries to be able to compare it, and, ah, to to this film and the upcoming sequel that’s coming out next week. Yeah, for us. And ah, I don’t know what to tell you. It does not hold up the miniseries. No, there’s there’s some great ideas and there is some still impactful scenes and and visuals. But it doesn’t hold up in terms of like a film for a lot of reasons, though, right? I mean, it’s not easy. It’s not fair to compare either the production value and it’s a TV show. It’s got every excuse in the world to be just awful, just very, very bad. And it’s not. It just doesn’t hold up very well. It was a miniseries made for TV in 1987 that released in 1990 and so and we’re watching it. I understood why it it impacted me, impacted me so much when I was, I guess I was eight. Yeah, and ah, that’s just that’s just prime time for being impressionable and like, wowed by anything. Yeah, but anyways, it is definitely, Ah, better film, mostly because it’s, you know, great production value, but also because it’s a hard R. Yeah, yeah, a really hard arm. Yeah. Ah, 2017 is one of the best mainstream general audience horror films that’s come out in the last decade. Oh, easily, and the the box office numbers show that it’s it’s still the highest grossing horror film of all time. That doesn’t surprise me one bit. Ah, director Andy Mu Shu knew she Eddie keeps most of the dread from the source material and includes some modern production and jump scares to appeal to fans of the conjuring universe, which I’m not always a huge fan of. But it was. It was upon second viewing. It wasn’t as agree, just as I remember it. It was kind of sprinkled throughout its not, ah, 100% jump scares. Overall, I really liked it. I liked it even more the second time. Watching it, I give it a score of eight at a 10. I think that’s the score that I expected from you, if not a little lower, even like just Ah, knowing, uh you and how you work. Um, but for me, this this was such a it was like it was like a signal that horror was back, like, not just back, but like big, you know, like this. Like they’re so there was so much about the release of this film that just ended up like delighting me because it was like, everybody was excited for this. It was like, remember it Because because And we’ve been discussing this coming up t this to this moment and you know it the book waas I mean, probably still is the biggest horror novel ever. Yeah, it was a huge phenomenon. Yes, and I think the only one that rivals it is this the shining right? Yeah, but but doesn’t even like it is. One of those is one of those titles. And one of those you have the image of the the book seared into your into your memory because it was everywhere. It was in everyone’s house. Everybody was interested in whatever this weird thing was, and ah, and so it was a phenomenon back then, And this movie tapped right back into that and got all those people re excited about all this stuff. And so it was. And then the movie itself was so much fun for me and went so hard in the paint on the rial, disturbing, um, content that that you would hope it would write It didn’t it? Didn’t shy away from anything. Well, it shied away from something, right that no. One. It’s my understanding, though, that that that that stuff that really blew stuff may be present in the second installment. Yeah, I guess we won’t go into spoilers of the novel, but we’ll talk about in a spoiler section. But there’s if you read Stephen King. You know, he is kind of a weird sex pervert. There’s always a weird sexual element. There are, like, some subtle, I mean, maybe not to settle. There’s there’s some sexual kind of content, and and, uh, in this film, but not what’s in the novel. You know, a lot of illusion, allusion, illusions off, you know? Yeah, touching kids and weird shit and ring. Ah, but But it adds that really unstable feeling terror element to to the movie. And I think for me, I think this is ah nine. And when it was released, it was probably 10. Well, how do you go down? Because it is not a fun movie to necessarily to rewatch for May I know this was a really great movie on first viewing, like it’s just doesn’t have very much replay value for me. Um, and I realized that even in the theater as I was watching, it was like, There’s not gonna be a second time for this because it is a jump scare factory and all the things that worked really well for me were those were those big, horrifying jump scares. Yeah. No, I mean, I think I think nine is fair, but I don’t know. I understand that, like most people would read rate this like a nine out of 10. But for some reason, it just It just doesn’t make it there for me. Yeah, I know. I don’t want to over think it, but all right, So before we get into spoilers, let’s talk about a few things. Number one. As we mentioned, we have a patriotic on page where you can support the show, and now we need you more than ever. We need to buy a new mike are. Mike just started buzzing for some reason, and it’s definitely just the mike, which is, you know, one of the more expensive components and important and important. You know, we don’t want to share a mike, because that’s just awkward. Yeah, and and we we have We may have to dip into our fart Mike fund. So we I mean, we have three mikes. Ones like, kind of a really low and mike that I’m talking into. Probably you can’t tell, but we usually use, um, this is born. Who cares about this? Check out our patri on. You get access to exclusive patron content. We do after pods after every episode we do. We keep the Mike’s running and kind of talk about what’s going on with our lives or any other drama that’s happening. Um, and lots of drama recently, lots of drama. Recently, now’s a good time to get in on that. And then we also will put out just random bonus episode kind of stuff. So we’ll be doing a kind of a mini pod on the It miniseries from 1990. We’ll be talking a little bit about it today, and in it chapter two episode, but we’ll do like a full dedicated episode to that release that to our patrons. Also, we’ve done an episode on Noble on, like, the first episode, and then we kind of petered out. Well, I don’t think the other episodes were as as notable. Um, I think two was still great. And, like the last one was pretty good. They definitely were. If you’re talking horror, though, that first episode is bar none. Um, what was in the second episode where the guy has to go on top of the tower and look into first? Yeah, I know. That was the 1st 1 Yeah, the 2nd 1 was when they’re hello. Yeah, the second was the helicopter. So check out our patron patron and pray tree on page. 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And we sure do appreciate that. And Ah, I think it’s I mean, we’ve been writing about horror for a year now. It’s a blast, so give it a shot. Yeah, Usually, by the time we get done editing the episode and writing the post for the episode, we’re pretty pretty. Tapped out for time for writing. Yeah, for the website. So, um, we have five kids between us. Yeah, we know that. We know that We have some passionate people out there that that have strong opinions and and knowledge about horror movies. So why not right for our blood? And you don’t have to be the best speller. I’m I’m an editor, like by profession. So I can I can go see your shit up and make you sound smart, bro. Yeah, All right. Anyway, sorry This took a little too long for the mid roll, but let’s, uh let’s just say thank you for listening and sticking it out. Yeah, Let’s get into spoilers, Boiler Dude, before before we actually do spoilers. I’m going to do a little bit more middle right now because thank you guys. So much for listening to the show. The amount of growth that we’re seeing the mount of downloads we’re seeing now We’re really like I’m in a place where I’m so excited. I am constantly getting Maur amped up for horror movie talk as time progresses and there’s they’re seemingly no downside there seemingly I’m just waiting for the for the spot where I’m going to be hugely let down and it never comes So thank you so much, guys, I really do appreciate right every time it kind of levels off in our stats for download numbers. It shoots back up again, like, pretty consistently up into the right for downloads. And just this last week, we kind of had a frustrating time because a post UNEP isso didn’t post, right. The file, um, was posted weird. So you couldn’t listen to it on all the platforms, and it took a while for for everything to refresh. But even with that and with this being a shorter month and last month in terms of how many episodes we released, we’re still almost common amount of downloads that we had last month, which is huge. So thank you. So thank you again. So, yeah, let’s talk about it. What about it? Let’s talk about it, baby. Okay, Talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the bad clams. S o. The opening scene of it is probably the strongest of the movie, and it’s really what sells the whole story. And it’s surprisingly consistent between the book, the miniseries and this movie. But as it works its work so well, he actually does. Here’s ah, here’s a clip of Pennywise and his introduction here is it. Here we go. Hi, Georgie. What a nice you want it? Please look like a nice boy. But you have a lot of friends. Three of my brothers. My best. Where’s sick? Could you come up? I don’t give a about You want to join? I’m not supposed to take stuff from strangers. Oh, well, I’m penny wise and allow. Ready wife George. Georgie, meet penalize way on strangers. And then here’s since I pulled it. Here’s the Ah, 1990 version for comparison. Hi, Georgie. You’re going to say hello. Oh, come on. Don’t you want a very wise of your dad, Georgie? Every wyszynski I joined Pennywise dancing around you are, Georgie. So now we know each other. Yes. Yeah. So I guess the set up. If you don’t, you’ve never seen it or read it. So have you been hiding in a drain somewhere? Eso this scene? It has Georgie going to his brother. Bill. Right. Star start. Bill us a bill and it’s raining outside and he asks them to make a paper boat for him to play with. And so Bill’s kind of sick. And then Georgie goes down to get some wax to paint the boat or whatever. So it’ll float, and that’s that’s the great scene to where it kind of sets up the concept of it’s going to get you. And so he’s scared of the dark, and then it goes out and starts floating the boat, and it flows down a a dark storm drain. And then inside the drain is this clown just like, Hey, whoa, what’s that clown doing in that drain? And so Pennywise introduces himself and see. This is why it’s so great, because, I mean, it’s it’s hard to like explain why it works so good. But it were having a clown inside a storm drain. If you’re a little kid, yes, like the logic of it, like somehow makes sense. But you also know that it’s wrong. Yes, there’s there’s a little standoffishness because, well, wait a minute. There’s a man in the drain, but it’s a clown like that s so that’s like something that’s weird but also something that’s good. And so you put those together, and that’s how little kid logic works right? It’s like it’s like how your kid walks up to you and is like my name’s pinky purple and you’re like, Yeah, okay. And then they’re happy with that. They’re just like they’re like, they take you going. All right, whatever on there like, ah, validation you like That’s the least satisfying validation ever. But they’re just looking for the surface level. And so that’s how the clown in the drain work sucks, cause it It’s like it is off putting. But also, it’s a cliff. Yeah, that it explores several things about the relationship between children and adults in terms of their fears. Yeah, and the danger that they face first is adults just generally don’t care. Like That’s a theme that’s really exploring this film, that part of the the supernatural occurrences that the adults in this town turned a blind eye to all these children missing and getting murdered. Just they are abnormally ambivalent about it. And there’s something about that toe where you could relate to if you remember back as a kid, where real shit is happening in your life and no adult cares or understands what’s going on because it can’t be that bad. Their kids, yes, and then the other aspect is that adults are actually dangerous, right that an adult in a clown costume could actually be wanting to kill you. Yeah, Or, you know, someone could want to rape you or, you know, not have your best interests at heart even though they’re an adult and you’re kind of beholden to them. Yeah, So there’s lots of, like, really cool areas that the story explores in terms of these severe and childhood and the relationships between children and adults. And, um, it’s really great. All of those are things that Stephen King is seemingly just very obsessed with. Yeah, or at least he was in his early career. Yeah, So Pennywise introduced. And it’s just such a great like men. The scars, scars guard is so perfect for this. Hey, he just he just plays it just dead on the voice of the dead stare, the drool that’s dripping out of its huge lip. Yeah, see, here’s Here’s where we might diverge because I actually do like Tim Curry’s Pennywise. I love Curries. Um, I and it’s it’s not very different, especially watching them back to back. I realized that that Curry’s Pennywise is actually still super menacing. Yeah, when he’s talking to the kids because I remember it being kind of like just a clown, you know, just like he’s a goofy ass clown. Yeah, but something’s off because he’s in a storm train. But in reality, Curries voice is still really menacing. He has Pennywise talking to the kids, and so it’s I was kind of latched onto the voice with Bill Sparks Bill Scars guard like I thought it was too scary how you played the clown, but it’s actually pretty similar, and I think he he did do a really good job when I watched the second time. But the thing that’s missing from it 2017 is there’s no real moments where Pennywise is being just a clown, right in the miniseries there is it’s a couple moment, that intro, the setup, the intro that you played. He is being kind of just a clown, right, But But after that, almost almost never, right. Like in the in the miniseries usually sets up some of the more menacing Pennywise scenes with him just being a clown, like just being kind of a goofy like plane with noisemakers and oh, damn, I forgot to pull that cliff wait, get, um, plane with like noisemakers and like Talyn really shitty Chuck’s. But also, you know, making balloons filled with blood pop in your face. Yeah, and, you know, monsters, hands grabbing at you kind of thing, Which, to me makes it more terrifying because it’s this. There’s something scary about a really goofy clown coming after you versus a scary clown that it’s made to be scary, you know, going back to ah, Thio scars Guard versus Curry. I think I think I prefer scars. Guard, Um, they’re both great. They’re both. I mean, it’s it’s hard to compare them, really, and it’s just a matter of taste, I think. What? Ah, what bothers me a little bit about the Curry clown is first of all, he’s perfect to play the clown, right? Because he’s he’s he’s got that face that’s just kind of carny ask, you know, like two big Yeah, it’s too big, It’s tired looking. It’s it’s just it’s ah, 55 year old smoker who’s been smoking since he seven, right? And, um, but simultaneously, it’s not a good pick because it’s Tim fucking Curry, and it’s It’s like, you know, it’s just one of those guys who is so universally known for his for who he is that that it kind of brings me out of it a little bit. I just go. That’s Tim Curry. That’s Tim Curry. Every time ago, though. Look, there’s Tim Curry right there. Yeah, I mean, I think the for me it’s the voice his voice is Penny wise is can go from just goofy to Superman. Insane? Very easily. Yeah, And but in Scar’s guard, I was so shocked at how well he was able to portray just the most evil and menacing clown ever. Just like if you want a scary goddamn clown. He is it. Yeah, no pun intended. Yeah, Bill scars. Guard is is great in a in the that trivia talks about how he researched different cycle. So you looked at Norman Bates and, um, the shining What’s his name from the Shining? Yeah. Yeah, and, ah, Clockwork orange. Just all these. I mean, sounds like mostly Stanley Kubrick psycho films. So really like, you know, looking up through your eyebrows kind of thing. Yeah. So that’s like the major Stanley Kubrick signal of evil. Um, but it’s great. So the major way that this film divulge is from the miniseries ever is the divulge. It diverges, And here it is that it’s a hard R. And it is genuinely shocking when Georgie Arms gets ripped fucking clean off. Yeah, it sets the tone for the whole movie. It just It just goes, Oh, we’re going for it. We’re doing this. Yeah, we’re mutilating little kids, right? And it’s adorable little kid. Oh, man, he’s He’s even cuter than the Georgie from the original right, Which is also very cute. I mean, they’re both really cute little child actors. So Georgie’s arms get ripped off, and then the cat on the porch gives the same reaction that I have. Just like, Whoa, What the fuck? Hey. Well, what happened? Um, my question to you. So is this the best child cast ever? Yeah. Yeah, it is. I mean, aside from from, maybe, ah, what’s that? Stephen King stand by me. I mean, that might be that might be a little better. River Phoenix, and yeah, I don’t even know. I bet if we watched that, then we could realize some of the stout nostalgia. Yeah, Maybe he might be affecting that, like a horse without memories with me. Yeah, I mean, it’s it might be the best child cast like it’s surprising how, how good, it’s really strong. In fact, it’s It’s why stranger things work so well, right? You know, it’s just a perfectly cast kid lineup. And there’s there’s one that’s in both right. The master warn Richie. Yeah, I don’t know if he’s the best one from From stranger Things. He definitely is. And in this movie, in my opinion, I don’t know. I think I think I liked Eddie and ah and Bill a little better in this film. Yeah. I mean, they’re all so good. Yeah, they’re all they’re all good, but yeah, I mean, even even like, what? I just finished the third season of stranger things, and it’s already like there. I haven’t even bothered. They’ve They’ve met their limit. It’s like they’re getting annoying. And there, there, their bag of tricks is pretty limited. Yes, that age. Yet for some reason, with this film, they really found, like, a really good mix of kids that they could pull it off. Yeah, and the bullies in this are perfect. Yeah. I mean, they’re definitely bullies being bullies. Yeah, um, they’re the meanest fucking bullies in the entire world. Yeah, I mean, that’s that is the difference between, you know, generic bullies and the gang of Henry with his last name. Winkler. Henry Winkler. So Henry is like the main bully, and he’s got a gang of friends that have their own gimmicks. Apparently. So there’s the guy that belches l just names belch, and there’s the guy that likes fire. Uh, but Henry is a prodigy, genuinely terrifying in this film in particular because he is really a psychopath. Yeah, he’s convincingly a psychopath. He’s clearly a kid that who has been, I mean, what a great actor like they went to him and they were like, Your dad beats the shit out of out of you every night. Okay, go. And that’s the kid who he portrays, a kid who is just savagely beaten by his by his cop father and who’s told he’s worthless. And just that shit rolls right downhill to all the other kids in school. Yeah, and there’s also some mean girls that urn like the opening of the film, but that never appear again. Yeah, that’s right. That felt kinda tacked on pelican mean girls. But It was just like people are mean to Bev to Yeah. I don’t know if you have to, Like, put that in the film because I think it’s bad enough that she’s kind of rape fire Father. Yeah, all the time. I mean, that’s enough. But also, slut shaming. Yeah, but also slut Shaming. That’s right. I guess that’s the purpose of those mean girls, too. Accuser being a slip. Yeah, but I mean, it works it all. It all set it up perfectly to be thio. Have you feel real empathy for these for these kids to really feel like. Okay, now you’re part of the losers club, you know? Yeah, the the Henry Gang. Think the torments the losers club is really great. And And how they set up him displaying his psychopathy. Yeah, it is great that he attacks Ben the fat kid and let me say great casting for the fat kid sometimes. I mean, I was a fat kid growing up, So when they cast fat kids and they’re just kind of chubby, you like Chunk from it just made me feel miserable, like, Oh, everyone’s ridiculing the kid. That’s like, kind of a little overweight. Just I’m like, actually fat price. You’re not fat, You’re husky. I hated that Maur I that made me feel worse than if my mom was just like, Look at you, fat fucking slob. If she said look at you, fat fucking slob, I’d have felt better than if she was like, No, you’re just husky. Oh, that was my kryptonite. Yeah, Yeah, I really identified with Ben in this in this film is like, you know, when he takes off his shirt, it’s like, Yeah, he’s a fat kid. Yeah, and Ah, and this is another. But this is like, the second portion of the movie that where the the gang is quote unquote picking on on Ben when in reality, they’re fucking carving their name into his stomach. And this is another signal where it’s like, Jesus Christ, this movie is not fucking around at all. What is happening and sorry about that. And the it is just so shocking and also kind of believable. You’re like, Yeah, this could happen. I remember being a kid. There were fucking really tense moments. Where if there is, if there is an actual psychopath. When I was growing up, Yeah, I could I could envision being having initials carved into my stomach. I remember. I remember moments and I can’t even, like, pull them out if singularly. But I definitely remember moments where I was like, Things are super serious right now and my life might be in danger, like, you know, and this is that feeling of things are very bad. And and then the car rolls by as thieves. Kids, We’re cutting him up. Yeah, and, uh, cutting it. Carving his name Henry into India and seeking full H. And it’s like, not not like scrapes. It’s really gonna need stitches. Got cutting into him hard, and ah, then it kicks him and and falls down the hill, which is probably the more frightening thing. And then he screams, I’m gonna cut your fucking tits off. Good God! And this So basically all that to say This movie fucks life, it fucks Yeah, it’s it’s really great. And ah oh, I forgot to pick Play my my clips of belch Oh yeah Play Belge So here’s I love the idea that there’s a character named Belch. His whole purpose is just to belt Yeah, he’s He’s the Belcher. And I almost wish they did it. Maur if it was just more ridiculous if it was literally that’s all he did was belching people. I think you’re on to something I want. I want this character to exist. Uh, wow. Yeah, that was Bravo. Yugo. Here’s belt from it. 2017. Almost like just in the room. Got better than that. Come on. And then here is just for comparison sake Since I pulled it. Here’s Ah, 1990 belch 90 belches 90 wages Way better wait. And also use my boy more goofy in that miniseries. Um, so, yeah, in this film that the Henry Gang is it’s basically, like Biff Tannins Gang and get back to the future, but way more menacing. Yeah, Yeah, it is like if tenants can. You ever thought about that? Um okay, so then we go to Bill, who’s the brother of Georgie that got his arm ripped off and Bill goes back to his house and his dad’s in the garage. And, like, Bill, what is the ship? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And he’s got all his habit trail set up. And Bill is showing his theory of where Georgie is or where he could have gone. Bill misses his little brother terribly. And as and as a way of coping with it, he’s trying to strategize to find his little brother in the sewer system. Yeah, and, ah, his dad is really sick of his shit spent this? God damn it. George is dead. But if the storm swept St George Ian, we should have a car. He’s dead. Jesus. Which isn’t, You know, it’s not too ah sympathetic for your son that that lost. Well, he just lost his son. He’s going through a hard time too. He doesn’t know how to react. This is But more importantly, where am I supposed to put my habit trail? You guys want to see a hilariously fun movie? Check out the evil within its free on Amazon prime. Yeah, we have an episode of very, very early. I think that’s like 1\/3 or wait. Is that the one that we held off forever? Yeah, it’s like that. No, no, no, that was Ah, we held off. It’s like seven or eight. The evil will never within Yeah, the evil within is very early episode. So I just pulling that clip. Watching some of it’s a great dialogue is just so it’s literally feels like the room. Yeah, it’s very strong. It’s a horror movie. It’s very odd. It’s free. It needs more attention. It does need more attention. You all need to go to Amazon and watch the evil within. It’s a It’s a is a strange gem of a bad, very good bad horror movie that you all should check out. Ah, you know. So, yeah, Bill’s dad is sick of a shit. Is another adult That’s just like there’s There’s nothing going on. Just let let things lie as they are very one dimensional, you know? But I think that brings up a good point because that that clip featured bills stutter, huh? Ah, pretty, pretty heavily. And ah, I thinkit’s think were woke enough to the point where I think we need to start asking, Should that role have gone to someone with a real stutter? Um, those people do exist and they need rolls, too. So why did you get an actor to do it, right? Well, why not get I mean, why did you get somebody who doesn’t have a stutter to do a stutter. Those people need work, too, right? And why didn’t you give the role of Pennywise to someone with Parkinson’s or a real clown? Because every time he attacks, the camera is really shaky. Yeah, a real clown with Parkinson’s, right? Someone who has been a clown and identifies as a girl I I identify as a clown. I just knew bouffant it. There’s an excellent job of showing the different fears, um, of the different kids. So each kid basically gets their own little vignette of their fears. I think the miniseries and the book does a little better job of doing this. Some of the ones in this film are definitely tacked on to be just a generic jump scare yelling or a device that they they want to the scene in the film. So they made a fear around it right, and it lands like as a as a as a tool to scare. It does land. It’s just it’s just a throwaway. Yeah, or it’s just a little obvious what they’re trying to do. Great. So, Georgie is his fears great. Just the fear of the dark fear of just being a little kid and not understanding What’s going on, Bill? His fear of just losing Georgie and really wanting Georgy back and that being played on, Um, it’s great, Mike, the black kid in this one is haunted by the memory of his parents burning in a horrible fire which you wrote next to this. No, you said Matt. Yeah, it didn’t. You fucking monster. And kind of like, I don’t know, It just didn’t Didn’t work for me as much I think they wanted to do. Yeah, I mean, well, he wasn’t very flushed out as a character. Yeah, and so it was hard. I mean, but they took away a big part of his character from the original character. He’s He’s the guy that knows all about the town history. Like for some reason, he’s really into history and they injured in the miniseries in this one that’s been right. Yeah, And in the book, it’s It’s Mike as well that that knows all the town history and some, but they attribute all that toe Ben, and it’s the fat kid who knows history, not the which is fine. Um, and then let’s see. Ah, Stanley, he’s I got the fear that is the least good one, which is a creepy painting, and that and that they lean on the most. I feel like they’re like the creepy painting Lady is really working for us, and it’s like you think this is This is where they take it right out of the conjuring. I mean, this is literally like the nun from the conjuring. Yes, and they’re like, Well, this will work. Let’s let’s shove that in And it feels shoved in. Yeah, in the original one, is it Stanley? What was his fear? Stanley Waas. The He’s the funny Know Richie’s the funny kid, right? Well, no, not in the miniseries in 2017. Yeah, Ritchie’s fast talking and funny, but in the miniseries, he’s very diminutive and kept clean by his mother. No, that’s That’s Eddie, that Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Richie. Richie is Seth Green and the miniseries. Yeah, I’m sorry. So, Stanley, it’s kind of weird in this movie. He’s Jewish. They, like, lean onto the fact that he’s Jewish, and in the miniseries he’s a Boy Scout and leaned heavily on the fact that he’s a Boy Scout and I can’t remember which it is in the book. Are you talking about Seth Green? No, Stanley, we’re switching to We’re switching kids too fast here. Okay. In the miniseries. Do you remember the kid? That’s the boys. Yes, he is. Stanley. Yeah. In this film. Do you remember the kid that’s Jewish and has the scary painting coming after him? Yes, that Stanley. OK, OK, so I can’t remember what Stanley’s fear in the miniseries waas. Yeah, I don’t think it actually shows it. I think that’s the thing that they dio thing that comes after Oh, no, no, no, no. It was the skeleton. No, it was the mummy. Yeah, in the miniseries. Yeah. And this one. It was just a scary painting. Yeah, it just doesn’t land as well. Yeah. I mean, the mummy doesn’t blend really well either. Yeah. I mean, you see, that’s the thing with, like, having it around kids. It’s all it’s more convincing that they’re scared by lame things. Because if you remember what you were scared of as a kid, it was It was lame. Shit. It was like the mummy. It was like the wolf man. That’s why it’s why this movie works so well is because kids are scared of actual scary shit. Yeah, kids are scared of shit that lives in a closet. And now you’re like add nothing lives in the closet. But if something does live in the closet Holy shit, that’s scary. Like you’re scared of, like, financial like issues. And that’s not that’s not really scary. What if they made it? What if the sequel for for it If it Chapter two was just based on adult fears and it was just the personification of bills or the personification of not having enough money for retirement? I think that I think the way you Yeah, exactly. It’s or like a laying on your fears of your body. Just kind of slowly breaking down. Yeah, yeah, Like, out like I got And I woke up today I got a new wake My shoulder won’t ever stop hurting for the rest of my life. Well, this is it. This is how I go. That’s pretty much everything. Every time something happens in my body, that hurts. I’m just like Well, this is it. This is what my experiences from now on. Yeah, on the added to that Just Dad. Another thing onto my back um, so Ben’s thing is the headless kid coming after him from the He’s like researching the past of the of the town, and a big part of it is this explosion that happens on Easter Room, and there’s a headless kid that starts attacking him. And that’s another one. That’s just kind of tacked on because it also feels like something from a jump scare movie of Does a headless kid running after you with jiggly motion something Something to note in all this, the 2017. It was released in three D, and they leaned heavily on things running at the audience. There’s a lot of shit running and reaching and jumping toward the screen, and and so that is a theme here. And it’s why it’s why it worked really well on first viewing for me and then second time around, it was like, Oh, yeah, I forgot. There’s a movie is just a bunch of shit running at me. Yeah, but while you were watching that shit in the theater is like, Oh, God, Oh, golly, I gotta run away like it was panic inducing. Um, the last one that feels kinda tacked on is Richie He just says in this film that he’s afraid of clowns. And Richie is kind of the the wisecracker of the group, and he says he’s afraid of clowns, and the whole purpose of that is so that he can get trapped in a room full of clowns. It’s like, all right. They wanted a room full of clowns, and so they gave him a fear of clowns is very obvious in the in the original. He’s the one that’s scared of the wolf man, which I get. It doesn’t work that great, but it’s the same thing. Clowns, wolf, man. That’s the same thing. The ones that do work is Ah, Eddie. He’s afraid of germs. He’s the one that’s, like, really doted on by his mom. That’s kind of Ah, Munchausen by proxy Mom and his penny wise. Or it attacks him with a leper. Yeah, like a like a dude with the big club foot and missing the nose is missing a nose, and he’s just hacking up goop all the time. And he’s got a pill for ready to swallow. And he’s constantly like swallow Bill, just like Jesus Christ, Please, no. And then Bev, the the girl. Hers isn’t necessarily rich off a fear. What? I don’t know, Addy. I’m sorry. That was Eddie. Yeah, the terms. And then Bev the girl has probably the best sequence, but it isn’t necessarily attached to a fear. It’s more of like this is a pretty awesome sequence to do. Which is the blood coming out of the sink? Yeah, she hears the voices in the sink, and then all of a sudden, the blood comes out and, um, I don’t know. You could say that this is a little over the top because it’s literally. Every crevice of the bathroom is covered with blood. It’s crazy, like everywhere. Like underneath. It’s like someone took a power washer and with blood and just sprayed everything and got every nook and cranny. There’s no if you’re like a blood splatter analyst like you would not be able to identify where the source of the blood came from. Yeah, remember evil dead too. Or where he shoots the wall and then that little drip of blood comes out. And then it’s a fire hydrant of blood or or similar scene nightmare on Elm Street. In the original. With them, right the bed that sucks him down. But even then, like, it doesn’t cover the entire room. And like underneath the bed? Yeah, yeah, it’s a It’s a full blown Rob Zombie scene, which is kind of weird. Like the set decorator probably went a little overboard on it. Great does. In the in the scene she’s talking about her dad is like, What’s wrong? It’s like the sink. And it’s like, Well, I mean, even pointing at the sink is kind of like, No, it’s everywhere. Just say the everything look anywhere in the bathroom is covered in blood. You see how the bath you remember? What the Do you remember? What color the walls in the bathroom. Where? How? Things were different colors in the bathroom. They I mean, maybe you don’t remember the exact color, but it wasn’t blood, right? It wasn’t like blood red. Yeah, and it’s also the most effective demonstration of parents. Just not seeing anything that the kids see. And then also her her fears just, you know, getting raped by your dad. Reasonable fear. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if if that’s what your dad does. Very reasonable. Yeah. Ah, super creepy. Okay. What else should we talk about? Let’s talk about this little bit librarian, librarian, librarian. So Ben is really into reading books after and researching, and the librarian comes up to him handsome a book, and she’s Her whole attitude is like Why you reading so many books is she is the worst librarian ever. Like she first of all, she’s cast very well. She just written poorly because she’s this old doting lady who you would expect to be in the library in is she is your classic, uh, you know that she is a library in looking lady. She comes up to him, she gives him a book and she’s like, in school over. He’s like, Yeah, she’s like, Why reading somebody books? Shouldn’t you be outside? Kids were supposed to, And then she goes on to lecture him. About what? About not going to the library. Don’t you have any friends like you? Like the summer is for being outside like not reading books about the history of the city were in idiot. Okay, And then she walks away. She’s like, Fuck you, Here’s a clip. I found it. Isn’t it summer vacation? I would think you’d be ready to take a break from the books. I like it in here. The boy should be spending a summer outside with friends. Don’t you have any friends? I have the book now, bitch. Fuck you. Yeah, that was that was a great, like just I think in the book, the Librarian just is really concerned for for Ben, which makes a lot more sense. Yeah, like he’s in there every day kind of thing. So she knows him and she wishes that he had more friends, but she keeps it to herself. She doesn’t like Hey, go outside, fatty man. It would have been great if if she had gone into, like, a lecture about how fat Iwas she’s like, you know, You think e mean? Yes, this is This is definitely a better film. There are some things that I want to point out that are better in the miniseries in terms of, like structure. Maybe we should save that for the miniseries. No, we’ll talk about it too, but okay. But basically how they get introduced in the miniseries is more convincing and closer to the book, which is it happens much more organically like and the reason why they meet feels very much more like a kid activity that other kids would be into, which is mainly building a dam. Yeah, yeah, which is activity that I think every kid has done down in the Baron’s going down in the water run off area and being, like, get lots of sticks and mud and stones here. It’s building. Damn, damn! And so they kind of start doing that. And there’s new ones that kind of get introduced because that water runoff areas kind of a natural area to run away from police. Yeah. Ah, And in this movie, they just kind of all know each other. Yeah, already. The only ones that get introduced our our Ben, Bev and Mike. Yeah, but they get introduced in decent ways, like Ben gets introduced cause they hear him getting beaten up right now. And then they run. They’re like, Well, we can’t just let somebody just beat on some kid. So they go down there to help him, and then right when they dio Yeah, I mean, I guess the purpose for all I know, That wasn’t Ben. That was the black kid. Yeah. Mike Mike. Yeah, It just felt it felt less organic. It was fine. It just felt not as as relatable. Right? Maybe I’m jacking prices. Ah, has way too much nostalgia for the 1st 1 and it shows right now. Okay. One of the great things about this group of kids is the joking banter throughout. Very convincing. More so than the miniseries. Much more because they because the miniseries had their hands died, I’m sure like you can’t put a lot of this stuff on TV. Whereas you could definitely fit it into an R movie. Yeah. Here’s, um, Eddie going off about gray water. Our teacher is coming in square water. What the hell’s going on? One. It’s basically piss and shit. So I’m just telling you, guys are splashed around and millions of gallons of dairy. So what? Are you serious? My cock up Policing. You okay? I can smell that from here. Forward Is your breath walking back into your face? Yeah, it’s great. Probably just your breath wafting back into your thing. Lots of your mom jokes. And, like talking about each other’s mom’s pussies and stuff like it feels much more real. What the shit that kids would talk about isn’t that weird. That that’s like that is that’s what feels Really? Yeah, I’m talking about your mom’s busy. That’s why that’s why South Park works, because kids are foul mouth. Oh, man, are they ever? But it’s just so strange that, like that is the truth, probably throughout all of history is like, No, it doesn’t make sense for it to be like cute banter. It makes sense for it to be your mom’s pussy. Like throughout human history kid banter is that, um, I think we’ve s o. I mean, they’re they’re all grouped together, and they’ll figure out that they’re all tormented by the same clown Pennywise, and they bond over that. And then they all decide to get to the bottom of it and get rid of this clown. However they can. And they kind of latch on pretty early that the Pennywise only has power. If they’re afraid of him, right, he’s He’s less powerful if you I know that it’s just a figment of your imagination. Very much of John F. Kennedy, the only on to fear is fear itself kind of thing, right? So ah, penny wise. Throughout this movie, the other thing that I kind of have a beef with an ever talk about is the shaky clown syndrome, and I wish they were more creative with how Pennywise attacked the kids. There are some creative ways that the attacks, but for the most part it’s show fangs run towards the camera very shakily. Yeah, um, there’s, you know, there’s a lot of pensive staring as well. Yeah, but that’s not an attack. That’s just like, I mean, in the in the I think in the book and in the miniseries that it plays more on each kid’s individual fear. Or like there’s something doing unexpected things. There’s some aggressive balloon Ah, chases. Yeah, some balloon advancements. So, like a great scene from the miniseries of the shower scene, where the Pennywise like comes out of the drink, blame ations his hands into the into the drain and widens it. Yeah, yeah, that I don’t know why, but that that seems very specifically sticks with me. As as like being very disturbing. Like I remember as a kid being like Jesus Christ, you just pull the drain open like that. Um, Bev, the girl in this movie is super effective and she is a creep magnet and Ah, yeah. I don’t know how much I can say without incriminating myself. Yeah, Bryce is being very careful with his words. He’s She’s a creep magnet. All right. We’ll just, uh we’ll just say that on Bryce concert here being all creepy. I mean, what what do you What do you think of bed, David? Well, damn. Look at those hot children, David. It’s gonna haunt me until they’ve until I die. Yeah, I mean, she’s She’s very striking her pain. I totally understand why she’d be a creep magnet. Yeah, George, She’s like, I mean, not only attacked by your dad, but there’s, like, a creepy pharmacist That’s super super schlubby. Yeah, this is she, like, takes advantage. There’s a thing that this movie plays on, and, Ah, and they’re not. They don’t shy away from which is there’s something very attractive about a young girl knowing she’s very attractive and using it to her advantage. I mean, not not even that I think she’s just very friendly and very like she is. She’s aware of herself, and I mean, she’s what you call it. She’s flirt, flirtatious, right? She understands the power of flirting. I mean, yeah, so but she’s not like a temptress or something. Oh, yeah? Well, that’s a That’s a pretty thin line. Uh, I mean I mean, you know, So I don’t know. What would you say about a girl? A girl who approaches a pharmacist and is like, Hey, you look with those glasses, You look kind of like Clark Kent. And then when he plays back into her thing in a very creepy way, she’s like, uh, you know, it’s like, Yeah, yes, there’s that. You know, it’s It’s just I mean, if you’re told, like by everyone that you’re a slut and you’ve probably never actually had sex. Well, other than you know what, your dad, rather than the rape, then, yeah, I think you you like, use it to your advantage. Yeah. No, I’m not. I’m not arguing with that. It’s just something that this movie uses very effectively. They don’t show. And then, like, this is probably the most effective portrayal of pre teen sexuality. Sexuality? Yeah, of the girl appearing in the group of boys and the boys are all just like that one scene where she’s sunning herself. You after they go swimming and all the boys were just sitting there, like, just just in awe of this. You know, it’s so this is the ultimate nostalgia because I can, really I mean, this was all of high school for me just being like, Look at those beautiful creatures, Look at them. But don’t go near. Don’t do not approach them because you will scare them away. Your terrible, ugly, ugly face will terrify them, and ill is it’s a completely mysterious force. The the power that an attractive woman can have over a young boy. And they do not have the facility to handle it. There’s like, I’m so glad I have girls because just just looking at they’re so far advanced compared compared to. And I think back on myself and I’m like Jesus Christ, I was ill equipped like I was just just so dopey, you know, And, uh and I mean, I guess everybody’s dopey, and I I’m probably giving too much credit to anybody just because I you know, it says too much about me. But man, that feeling of being ah, young lad with lots of hormones going through me and then just not knowing what to do with my hands. You know, just being like I I got nothing. I just wish I had something, man. Wouldn’t it be great if I had something? And this this movie captures that pretty great in a couple different scenes with the boys Admiring Bev? Yeah. Yeah. And always with respect, you know, you always the way that I remember it. And it’s the other people, the people outside of this group that are perverted and weird, the people who are calling her a slut or a whore or whatever it is, they’re the creepy ones because they view her that way. These kids don’t they respect her. Yeah. I mean, it’s the thing with the With the Losers club is that they’re in awe that she’s around them right, and they don’t want to ruin a good thing. Don’t scare away. But they can’t. They can’t treat her like just one of them because she has this power over them, which I don’t think even women understand what that’s like. They just don’t understand the power or the the energy that’s created from like a young boy. It’s attracted any boy man now, like Yeah, even even now, but especially at that age, just like just barely breaking through puberty, it’s like it is weird. It’s the amount of just confused, conflicted and impressively strong feelings are. Yeah, if you if you think about all the stories that are told are all the myths that Air told over history are mostly to help explain or manage the feelings of that of going through puberty. You have all the superhero stories of of getting new powers like it’s basically explaining that, like all of a sudden, it’s apparent trying really hard not to be too obvious that they’re given the sex talk, right? Like all of a sudden, it’s this extreme source of energy and anxiety and, like impetus, yeah, towards something that you have no no exposure to. All of a sudden, you know exactly what you want as it’s it’s It’s weird, but it’s very, very effective. This is Yeah, this is a movie. Where if you No, never mind. Okay, um, you got you guys could make up your minds about what he was going to say. Uh huh. Okay, I’ll say it. So you know how there’s nothing more creepy about people on Reddit explaining the difference between a feeble file and a pedophile. No, I don’t know. Can you really don’t know if I’ve come across this a couple times? And there’s something very pathetic about it. I don’t understand. Sophie B file is like drawing a difference between a pedophile, which is a kid, someone that’s sexually attracted to young children. And Phoebe File is someone that’s attracted to, like a just barely post pube Essen. Oh, so so kids under age. But like, yeah, like a 14 to 16 year old okay, thing would be in a feeble five. Yeah, contracted to young girls that air. So is people trying to justify their their legal pedophilia. Well, that’s not It’s not even legal. It’s just saying like, this is a different thing and like I mean, right, they’re calling. They’re basically saying like, Yeah, it’s not technically legal, but it makes sense evolutionarily right, which is Yeah, it’s true. But also don’t touch kids. Whatever. I see someone talking about like it’s not pedophilia. It’s a Phoebe Ophelia. I’m like you’re you’re a creep. Yeah, like if if If that’s the if that’s the hill, you’re going to die on the drawing that line, like no one wants to be around you. Sorry. It has nothing to Yeah. So this this movie would be would definitely be a movie where their people be Those people explaining the difference between pedophilia and a fever affiliate. Justo, make them sort of self field. Yeah, and the answer to that is Yes, sure. Evolutionarily. Yeah. There you there. They’re very there. It makes sense evolutionarily, but you know what? It doesn’t make sense. They’re not. They don’t have the capacity to make good decisions because they’re still in their mind. They’re still a kid, right? They got a lot of maturing to do. Like I I’m just barely an adult right now. And I’m 35 I think, in terms of like, brain maturity, it your brain isn’t doesn’t stop growing and developing until, like, you’re 25 like that’s when you reach a point where you can actually make good decisions. Yeah, basically, it’s just everything else is is you actually do not have the ability to make long term decisions, right? And it’s not fair for it’s It’s so creepy and terrible for an adult two, even even to go, You know, essentially prey on, you know, 18 to 23 45 year olds. Yes. It’s just it feels like preying on something because it’s because it is kind of iss. Right? Yeah. Um, not to say that I wouldn’t want to, but it’s wrong, right? I can recognize that. If hemophilia? I don’t know. If so, I’m 37. Like, where is the line for 37 isn’t it? Isn’t there like a like a jokey rule? It’s, like, half your age plus something. Oh, I’m gonna say I’m gonna say the best the best. Like if if you’re measuring the word Best buy youngest that a 37 year old could go for eyes 27 just 10 years off. Yeah, but if you were 40 I would say 29. Okay. You know, Yeah. Uh, there’s there’s such arbitrary lines in the sand, though. I mean, yeah, yeah. Asking the hard questions are movie talked in the research, so you don’t have to. The production design of it 2017 again is really using modern horror tropes of having just super dark and dank apartments and settings like everywhere. Looks like kind of a crack house, but mo the dank the day s O that the dank apartments for Bev and Eddie, um are something that just feels out of Ah, Harmony, Corinne. Film like gum. Oh, okay. Yeah. Um is harmony Corinne? Is that a man? Uh huh. Okay, he’s a weird dude. Yeah, it’s It’s a weird name. It is a very hard named a place where many, Corinne, it might be harmony or Herman. I’m actually not quite sure about that. Um, you know, we do a lot of research for these episodes. Eddie’s mom in particular is like this weird gross hell man character. She’s a cross between, like a Tim and Eric character and a character from gum. Oh, yeah, we’re just gross. Like weird. Strange. She just wearing this dirty windbreaker. And she’s Yeah, she’s kind of like in a fat suit. Almost. Yeah, she’s just strangely overweight. Like greasy. Yeah. Sweaty, sweaty. Yeah, she’s very Tim and Eric that’s dead on. And very Gummo. And, uh, yeah, she’s She’s one of the best parts of this movie. Yeah, and so she’s kind of Munchausen by proxy. She’s, you know, telling Eddie that he’s got all these sicknesses and stuff and got him on all these pills. And then he eventually finds out that they’re all placebos, that there’s actually nothing wrong with What is he column e got a clip when he finds out that the sickness Okay, what what sickness, Mom. These are their bows. That’s probably one of the best wines. Best funny moments of the greater good. He was such a huge, such a well done character. Yeah, so this film really explorers all these, you know, concepts and doesn’t pretty well. There’s lots of jump scares pretty much you could take out from any other modern film. But that doesn’t really well in this film. Two. It’s not super important to talk about the plot other than they’re they’re being attacked by clown and that it’s based on their fear. Eventually, they kind of go on the attack. They go into a haunted house and the well house. Yeah, the well house. And then they’re attacked by Pennywise. And then they don’t succeed. They go into his underground sewage layers, do it. They do it once they attack in just the house, and that’s when Eddie gets his arm broken. And then there’s kind of a montage, the kind of nothing really happens. And then they just go back, Yeah, and then go underground into the sewer system. And that’s where they kind of have their final battle, which is pretty effective. It’s confronting fear. They confront fear and they kind of use, um, them some kid logic. They It’s not as explained as it is in the book about the concept of It’s like using child logic to attack. It’s a damn sight better than the miniseries, let me tell you. But yeah, the danger is, if you want to do it more, Um, if you wanted to do it more like the book, you have to take a lot of exposition, all dialogue to explain it. Yeah, and it just comes off. Not great, right? And and I think I think it doesn’t effective job of basically, you know, portraying that these kids are standing up to what they’re afraid off. You know, the one. The one issue I have with this is is it’s It’s shocking how weak Pennywise is for something that is that he is self described as eternal, you know? Well, yeah, I mean, it’s it’s that’s The thing is that he’s weak because they don’t fear him right anymore. And so they’re on the attack, and that’s like the power and he still menacing while they’re attacking. But it’s just he’s not effective. And fear comes back every 30 years, right? So and what is that? That’s about a cycle of a generation. So every time you have a new generation born, you have fear reborn. So I think, yeah, I think it I mean, it probably makes a lot more sense in the book. It’s and it makes a decent amount of sense in 2017. But the minister is pretty lacking. Um, there could see posts. There is a rose. Let me see it. And then they attacked him. And then Pennywise kind of start disintegrating. It’s cool. It’s really cool. Every time he gets hurt, his blood floats. Yeah, it floats up, which is super neat. And then also yeah, his layer where it shows all the kids floating because they make a big deal of like we all float down here. And that is probably the one of the coolest visuals. Is this giant stack of dead bodies and live bodies that are floating around in the air like they’re zero gravity float, float, float, float, float, float. That’s what we should do when we go to see Chapter two. We should get in the theater and right before you know right is the starting credits are rolling. Would be like starting champion, float, float, float, float and everybody behind. We let flow flow or probably just be us sand flow. We could try to do it like the Mighty Ducks, where someone that just goes float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float. Yeah, and then we will get the whole get the whole theater to do. It’ll be great. It’ll work out exactly as we imagined in our heads. We’ll put it on Instagram if we can figure out how to use it. Yeah, you should video Bryce. We can’t be those people. We can’t be the old people who don’t know how to use the new stuff you have aware. So they they finally kind of defeat Pennywise and it it feels like this could be just a self contained movie. If it didn’t work out, this would have been like a fine, self contained movie. They don’t necessarily need the sequel. And, to be honest, like the kid’s stuff is way more interesting than the adult side of it. So I’m kind of curious what they’re going to do with Chapter two. It’s got a great cast, so it’s got all the pieces that they need. So but we’ll see. Um, attack him. Pennywise kind of disintegrates. And then he says, Kind of an on the nose final Goodbye. Which is there? All right, we get it. Ah, so yeah, that’s that’s it. There’s probably some more so we could talk about, but that’s the main points that I wanted it cover. So what’s the What’s the final recommendation for it, man? Definitely. See it. You should see it if you haven’t seen it yet to prepare for chapter two. Yeah. Um, it sze cheap, like four bucks on to rent. It’s a high quality. Well done. Really disturbing. Um, more movie like solid, solid horror movie that I mean, I If that sounds terrible to you, it is for you. If it sounds great to you, it’s gonna be pretty great. And if you haven’t seen it, what the heck you doing? Spin out for two years? So shall we do? Let’s just let’s do tagline years. Tagline. Um, lines is a game where we come up with alternate taglines for the movie. We are reviewing that. I think you’re better student VfL. You want to go first? You want me to go? Sure. I’ll go first. Minor. Bad way. Always say that, but it always pulls through it. 2017 Making horror. Pito again? I used to be kind of paedo it. 2017 God damn! Look at those hot children. No raping This is my treat. Okay, go ahead. My 2nd 1 is a clip that we have queued up. This is from the Simpsons. When Homer can’t stop thinking about that billboard he saw four clown college thesis action you’re supposed to be monitoring is on fire. Funny clowns are scary. Ah, it Stephen King’s classic without the weird sex stuff. But a little bit of Okay, My third is a follow up clip from The Simpsons where Homer is crafting a circus tent out of mashed potatoes at the family dinner. That’s the match. But ma’am, don’t have someone. Theo. Theo, You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clone college. I don’t think any of us expected him to say that. That was my exact reaction in this movie. I’m going to clown College 2017 like, stand by me, But with more arms being ripped off. Yeah. Yeah. At least one more. Next, we’re gonna be talking with David’s wife. But her reaction to horror porn? Oh, yeah. She she wasn’t It wasn’t a big fan. We’ll have to let her tell the story. Yeah, we’ll let her tell the story. So here we go. And Ah, Okay. So set the scene for me. You’re listening. Does David come to you with the episode and say you have to listen to the horror porn, or you like natural listening to it. So, um, he told me about the idea and the very beginning, and I got very excited about it because I’m a huge Howard Stern fan, a huge Howard Stern fan, And they do this type of stuff all the time on the show, and I always play along with it. And so, uh, he let me listen to it, uh, before you guys put it out. I got a sneak preview, right. It’s one of the perks of being married to someone in harmony is very exciting. And so, uh, first of all, I couldn’t hear. I mean, it was on his computer, the it was going through his headphones, so I didn’t hear, like, full on everything. You didn’t have the hip bones on. No, I didn’t have him on. Oh, okay. He just turned up the volume really large. Very David. Um, and I got into it in the beginning, and then it was when he got to the hocus pocus form. And then I realized you’re bullshitting me. Thing isn’t really And I got very angry. Whoa. Bullshitting you. In what sense? Because I thought it was really I get really? So on the stern Show that it Israel that was Don’t you remember hocus pocus? Stop it. What? See, I just don’t understand your reaction on the Stern show. The last time they did one of these, it was like, um, they would play a clip of somebody giving a speech at an award show, and then you had to guess whether or not it was the at the Emmys. That the person was giving the speech for or if it was at the adult video awards, Okay. And it was awesome because you’d have people up there being like, I just want to make all the ladies in this category for all their hard work and be like, Oh, that. And then Robin on the show would guess what? Itwas it all gas. And then to be like, it was the adult video for them. So anyways, I just That was not authentic. Once I realized it was old joke. I mean, it was funny. No, no, it was I mean, it was really funny photos, mostly because it was unexpected because I didn’t remember those parts. I mean, after the episode, I mean, he showed me all the clips. It was totally legit. Like those air definitely debt. You men go back to hocus pocus. I mean, out of context. It seems like no way that couldn’t be from hocus pocus, but I mean it is No, it’s not. David didn’t show you the clips. You’re messing with me. So you’re angry at David was very angry and I told him that he shouldn’t play that e j headed it out because other people were playing along and would get mad. Ah, you don’t know how delighted. You probably do know how delighted David was at that reaction. Yeah, because it’s better than he could have ever expected it to go. What? You made me even angry. All right, well, it’s not for everyone. Well, we’re going to do it again. This this episode. But we didn’t have time. We’ll probably do it on chapter two. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe maybe you’ll win this time. Okay. Thanks for stopping by care. Thank you. That was hilarious. Okay, what a delightful anecdote. You crazy, crazy lady. So that’s horror movie talk for this week. Thanks for listening. And again, go check out horror movie talk dot com. You confined past episodes and useful links, blogger posts and whatnot. Um, check it out on social media. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, instagram pretty much anywhere that you would follow. Someone You tis oub you to zoom. And don’t forget to check out our Patreon. Consider becoming a patron helped us out. Help us, but by a new microphone. And ah, you get access to bonus content that’s not available to anyone else. Yeah, it’s actually it’s boy. It’s got to be getting getting close, like 15 episodes of of After Pod and you know, yeah, that’s pretty good. Pretty good stuff. Get a peek behind the scenes of horror movie talk. You just can’t get enough of us talking. It’s just a lot of gossip, really. Please share the podcast with a friend. It’s the only way that we grow. We’re not advertising anywhere. We barely do anything other than just post stuff on social media and hope that people like it. So if you do help us share the word by sharing the podcast with a friend to help us out again, there’s a patron. But also, if you’re gonna buy something on Amazon, Um, click through the banner on our website horror movie talk dot com, and then you’ll be able to support the showed from that special things to all our fans. We love our patrons. Um, I really like I can’t express enough how how much we appreciate people reaching out to us and just being able to talk about horror movies and about the podcast. It’s a labor of love and We’re just amazed that anyone likes it. Yeah, it’s It’s It’s been It’s been a lot of fun doing this. So and looking looking at a special thanks to anyone that’s listening right now. Because looking at our stats on SPOTIFY, I can understand that about 25% sticking it out till the end. The very special You you are special person listening Right now. You are the 1\/4 that are the supporting members of four movie talk and you’ll listen to it. It’s the whole way through, even though I’m not really saying anything right now except for your great And We love you. Yeah. So again. Thanks. Look forward, The next show which will be it Chapter two. Yeah. Who saw that coming? We love you. Bye!
https://youtu.be/ZP03p0Mm9gY
Ready or Not Review
Aug 28, 2019
We saw Ready or Not in theaters, and while my expectations were extremely low, I can honestly say that this is one of the best new movies I’ve seen all year. It’s a dark comedy that has plenty of high stakes and tension which made for a fabulous experience.
https://youtu.be/ZtYTwUxhAoI
Ready or Not can be found in movie theaters now! The full movie!
Ready or Not is the story of a beautiful, young couple, Grace (Samara Weaving of The Babysitter) and Alex Le Domas (Mark O’Brien of Arrival) on their wedding day at Alex’s family estate. The Le Domas family are the heirs and proprietors of a Milton-Bradley esque board game company and are the kind of wealthy that begets butlers, maids, and like 20 dumbwaiter’s in their palatial mansion.
The Le Domas family are made up of Alex’s brother, Daniel Le Domas (Adam Brody of Jennifer’s Body), father Tony (Henry Czerny), mother Becky (Andie MacDowell of Groundhog Day), and the rest. The Le Domas family are as proud as they are superstitious and cruelly witty.
Right before they consummate their marriage, Alex tells his new wife that in order to be accepted into the family she has to play a game with them at midnight. She agrees, and through a ritualistic choosing method she learns that she will be playing Hide and Seek. She soon learns that Hide and Seek is the only game you don’t want to play with the Le Domas family, as they are now going to attempt to kill her to hold up their end of a bargain with the devil that their great, great grandfather made.
Ready or Not Review
Ready or Not is directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, who are most notable for the underground horror favoriteV/H/S. Lots of the people who worked on this film have some horror chops already, which may have some role in how well it turned out. I think most of the credit for this coming together can’t be attributed to any single source. Everyone did a great job on this movie. Truly witty banter mixed with horrendous scenes of shocking brutality punctuates, the “just another day” feel of this black comedy.
The Le Domas Family out for blood!
I was so impressed with this movie from the 15 minute mark and on, that I have no choice other than to score it highly. I will be watching it again the same way I watch Cabin in the Woods and Tucker and Dale vs Evil – to have fun while laughing at incredible dark comedy.
Score for Ready or Not
9/10
Spoilers for Ready or Not
The movie starts with Daniel (the brother) helping to kill a guy in the family house. To be precise, a guy is clearly trying to run away from other adults, and the child Daniel outs him to everyone. They then drag the man to his doom in the “family only” room.
The Family
The family is made up of a bunch of rich people stereotypes, all of whom have a biting dry wit, and plenty of personal foibles. There is the:
Overweight brother-in-law
Menacing aunt
Coked up sister
Unbearable rich kids
Man-in-charge father
Woman-in-charge-of-man-in-charge mother
Unenthusiastic but well-meaning brother
Come-from-the-streets sister-in-law
Alex explains to Grace that they play a game at midnight, and it could be chess or checkers, or any game, but you don’t have to win, you just have to play.
Recent Classic Horror Movies? Check out Our Review of Evil Dead (2013)
I would like to take a minute to point out that the family name that she is marrying into is Le Domas – which you may know is French for, “The Dumbass”.
Hide and Seek Begins
They funnel the family into a private, family, only game room and proceed to tell a story about the beginning of the Le Domas family fortune. They explain that a small box will shuffle some cards and spit out a card with the name of the game to be played. The box says Hide and Seek, and everyone bites their lip except Grace.
Grace is a little buzzed and gets sent off into the house to hide while the Le Domas family plays a goofy record that lasts for 100 seconds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLm6Z3If5OU
Yay, let’s play a game!
The soundtrack to this movie is fabulous, consisting of goofy and off-putting older songs mixed with classical and orchestral pieces that really make Ready or Not feel grand.
The family arms themselves with some old-timey weapons and turns off the camera system to pay homage to the way the game was meant to be played, and they set out to find and sacrifice her.
Check them kicks
One thing that stood out to me while enjoying this movie – hide and seek works really well for a horror premise. Besides the fact that many horror movies are made as a big game of hide and seek, you have the inherent excitement that comes with empathizing with the hidey…hider? You also have the tension involved with being the seeker. The game itself works for me.
Fabulous Acting
Every bit of acting in this movie was hammy and fun. It was a well-acted movie, and holy hell, Samara Weaving can scream! If she isn’t the new scream queen, I will be damned. She has that true terror in her screams that really makes the audience shudder.
https://youtu.be/XcATvu5f9vE
The maids looked just like the backup dancers in the Addicted to Love Music Video
The first death comes early, when the nanny goes looking for one of the kids who she was charged with keeping in their beds while the rest of the family tries to murder Grace. The nanny is filtering through the rooms looking for the kid, and she stumbles into the room where Alex has just met Grace to tell her what’s going on. Alex and Grace hide and before they know it, the coked-up sister runs in the room and shoots the nanny in the face. Lots of gurgling ensues. Lots. Like a lot. It’s quite funny.
Oh lawd she comin
Once Grace realizes the stakes, she panics, but also becomes a badass – ripping off parts of her wedding dress and eventually finding an elephant gun and bandolier.
Cocaine’s a Hell of a Drug
There are plenty of tense moments and close calls, the coked-up sister keeping accidentally killing people who tend to gurgle a lot. It’s a super dark running gag, and they play it up a lot.
We learn that the Le Domas family believes that if they don’t perform the sacrifice on Grace by dawn, they will be killed by satan for their breaking of the family contract with him. None of the family is actually sure about it, but they all err on the side of playing it safe…wouldn’t you?
Throughout the Ready or Not, we see Daniel show remorse about being tied to a family who performs ritual sacrifices to Satan. Something about and as the movie draws to a close we are left on the edge of our seat as to whether he will defeat these personal demons.
At one point Grace falls into a pit of dead goats…and more…
The evil eye aunt eventually tells the story of how Ale should be the leader of the family, and he needs to embrace his new role as the head of the dumbasses.
What an Ending!
Toward the end of the movie, the family has Grace on the alter and just as the pass the sacrificial cup around and take a swig; they learn that they were poisoned by Daniel who wants to help Grace escape.
Alex realizes that Grace won’t stay with him after this and even he turns on her to save his own skin.
The Dead Don’t Die is as fun as Ready or Not! Check Out Our Review!
As the family converges on her, the drapes are pulled back to reveal the sun! The family shrinks back in terror, expecting to die…but they do not. They stand and realize that they have been wrong about the deal with the devil this whole time. How silly of them!
Then, one at a time, after the relief has set in, they burst like overfilled water balloons full of blood! It’s horrendous. The aunt, boom! The dad, boom! Even the two little kids, boom! Fabulous!
Unwinding after a long night!
A first responder comes to the now burning down house and finds Grace smoking a cigarette on the back law and asks her, “Jesus Christ, what happened to you?!” She slowly responds, “….., in-laws.”
Final Recommendations for Ready or Not
If you love dark humor, gore, and just really well-done movies, you should see Ready or Not. I would be surprised if this title didn’t find its place among titles like Tucker and Dale vs Evil.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged Review
Aug 21, 2019
This week we are reviewing 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. This film took a great premise and solid jump scares, but still bored me for half of the film. It definitely delivers on crunchy shark action, but if you want more than on-the-nose expositional dialogue and tissue paper thin character, maybe just rewatch Jaws.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged can be found in theaters now. The full movie!
47 Meters Down: Uncaged Synopsis
47 Meters Down: Uncaged is the sequel to the 2017 film, 47 Meters Down. It is by the same director, Johannes Roberts, but an all new cast of disposable teens.
The film is about four American teen girls in Mexico that go scuba diving into a secret submerged Mayan City inside underwater caves. The Mayan caves hold more than just the Mayan version of the terracotta warriors, it also contains deadly albino Great White Sharks! The sharks are blind, but that presents no problem for them, since their other senses are heightened, and these basic bitches keep screaming and clamoring about. With their air supply dwindling in the claustrophobic space, the girls and others get picked off one by one by the insatiable eating machines as they try to make their way out.
This movie has a lot going for it. It has a great premise, plenty of quality jump scares, and delivers on the promise of brutal shark attacks. For me though, all of this is undercut by a boring, paint-by-numbers, super on-the-nose script. Much like The Meg, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged has a script that is obviously simplified so that it is easier to translate for international audiences.
What the script doesn’t contain is a character that I care about, or any interesting dialogue.
The strength of the film is the design of the sharks and the shark attack sequences. The action sequences are visceral and come fast and sudden.
Also, Quenton Tarantino would probably be a big fan of this movie since about 1/5 of it is devoted to close ups of women’s feet kicking towards the camera.
In the end, I was cheering for the sharks to kill everyone, because at least that ending would make it interesting. This isn’t a movie that I would recommend running to the theater for, but if you want to see a movie about sharks eating people, then you will definitely enjoy this. While I did enjoy some moments in this film, I was checking my watch any time that someone wasn’t getting eaten by a shark. It’s not terrible, but it’s also not very good.
Score for 47 Meters Down: Uncaged
4/10
If you like horror movies based in Mexico, check out our review of The Ruins:
One of the features of this film is the weird soundtrack. It’s an amalgamation of 80’s pop music juxtaposed with an atmospheric electronic score. Which would be fine, but when you see a young black man absolutely rocking to an INXS song, it tends to distract.
The Opening
The opening of the film features the main character, Mia, played by Sophie Nélisse, being pushed into a pool by some stereotypical mean girls.
The setting is in Mexico on the Yucatan peninsula, but there is nary a Mexican to be seen, nor Spanish to be uttered. This is one of the many things in the movie that never get explained.
We find out that Mia’s Sister Sasha, played by Corrine Foxx, isn’t a big fan of Mia, because reasons.
Their dad is an underwater archaeologist(?) that just made a new discovery. He can’t spend time with Mia because he needs to set up the new site, so he gets them tickets to a glass bottom boat ride to see sharks feed.
A Fateful Decision
Mia and Corrine ditch the boat ride with the mean girls and instead go with two of Sasha’s friends, Alexa (Brianne Tju) and Nicole (Sistine Rose Stallone) to a secret lake.
Come oooooooon!
They discover scuba equipment meant for the archaelogist and decide to dive to see the sunken Mayan City.
Why is the Mayan City under 47 Meters of water, you ask? Don’t!
Albino Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo…
The Mayan City is barely explored by the girls or the script before they start getting eaten by giant blind albino great white sharks.
Mostly the people that get eaten are the ones that the girls meet at regular intervals. Finally when they find Mia’s father, he takes them to the surface and shows them a rope to climb up.
The sharks show up soon after and start attacking before the first girl can climb up. When Corrine tries to clambor up,the rope breaks.
Pause.
The rope breaks from the weight of two skinny teen girls.
This is the caliber of script we are dealing with.
The Ending of 47 Meters Down: Uncaged Explained
The film ends with Mia and Sasha, the last survivors, finding their way to the glass bottom boat and getting saved. But not before getting bitten by regular, non-albino great white sharks. Mia, in a constructed badass moment, stabs the shark biting her with a sharks tooth she was carrying.
In an attempt to communicate a non-existent character arch, Mia shares a look with the lead mean girl. But the moment carries the same amount of gravity as a feather on the moon.
Final Recommendations for 47 Meters Down: Uncaged
If you want to see sharks eat people and you really don’t care about anything else, this is the movie for you.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Review
Aug 14, 2019
We went and saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and it was average with a smile.
Those ingrown hairs make for the best pops!
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Trailer
https://youtu.be/A11tX8iu0zQ
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Synopsis
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is a movie about four stereotypical kids (Stella (Zoe Margaret Colletti), Ramon (Michael Garza), Auggie (Gabriel Rush), and Chuck (Austin Zajur))who enter a haunted house on Halloween and find a book that has more scary stories than they bargained for! As the teens fight bullies and work their way through early November, they begin to realize that the book they took from the house is haunted, and the spirit that haunts it has a penchant for writing scary stories about the teens and their acquaintances that always come true.
As the teens wrestle with teen hood and their own demons, they are forced to come to terms with the reality that this book and the woman who wrote it are trying to kill them in scary story ways. There are lots of chases, jumpscares, racist cops, and nostalgic feels to be had in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. It even culminates in exactly the way you might think it would, which we will mention in the spoilers section.
The movie takes some of the stories and ideas from the books and throws them together into a mashup of jumpscares and dark sets. The screenplay was adapted from a screen story written by Guillermo del Toro and rewritten by Dan Hageman and Kevin Hageman, who, I feel may have done it less service than del Toro might have.
While Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark wasn’t terrible, it was only a little bit more interesting than average. The plot made sense, the acting was on point, the production was pretty good. It’s nothing to write home about, and the payoffs are completely underwhelming. The nostalgia was nice, but isn’t it always? Maybe that’s what makes these nostalgia grabs so offensive, it works every time, and it’s so low effort – but I guess you could say the same thing about jumpscares, and I love those.
Score for Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
6/10
Wanna See a Fun Summer Blockbuster? Check Out Our Review of The Meg!
The movie starts with a bully who says, “Let’s go scare some kiddies tonight, guys!” This is, perhaps, the goofiest line I can think of and teed off the movie well.
The main bully, Tommy (Austin Abrams), is the least assuming bully on the planet, small in stature, slight of build, fair of complexion, and is constantly drunk and rattling off goofy lines like this. It’s a joy to behold, and one of those touches that makes it goofy and real at the same time.
Dean Norris is the only cast member you might recognize in this movie, and he is a great actor, who plays the main character’s (Stella) dad. The only problem with this is anytime I see Dean Norris I just think, “They’re not rocks, they’re minerals, Marie!” If you play the main detective in Breaking Bad, you ARE the main detective from Breaking Bad. Which makes me feel sorry for Dean, but at the same time, “Jizzus Christ, Marie!”
https://youtu.be/yDVIrp8XaWI
I’ve got some geodes coming!I just love this.
There are a few different spooks going on in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, so I will try to lay them out for you in a way that doesn’t ramble as much as the movie does. Keep in mind; this is the spoilers section:
Harold the Scarecrow
Harold is the fattest, ugliest, most desiccated corpse of a scarecrow I have ever seen in my life. I’m not sure, but Harold may be the dead body of Tommy’s (the bully) stepdad, whom Tommy hated very much. There is no backstory here; there is only Tommy beating Harold constantly with a bat and beer bottles to impress his friends? Harold has his revenge on Tommy by turning the cornfield into an endless maze and stabbing Tommy with a pitchfork that gives Tommy straw man syndrome. The effects of straw man syndrome include coughing up hay, having hay come out of your fingers, and hay fever. If not cured, the patient will become a scarecrow.
Just hanging out with Harold
Sarah Bellows, author of the Scary Stories Book
Sarah was part of the Bellows family, the founding family of Mill Valley, PA. She was also a little different, and therefore the shame of her family, tortured and experimented on by her brothers, left in a dark room and generally mistreated. She wrote and haunted the book that our protagonists found and causes all of the mischief and murders in the movie.
The Toe Lady
The Toe Lady is basically a corpse who had some of her body parts inserted into Auggies chili/stew by Sarah Bellows writing. As Auggie takes a bite, he notices what he is chewing on is the big toe of the Toe Lady. Auggies is pulled under his bed by the Toe Lady and never seen again.
Miss placing a toe is so common
The Red Spot
Chuck’s sister finds what looks like a pimple on her cheek before a date with Tommy, the jerk. A few days later, right before she is going on at a school play, she attempts to fiddle with it, and spiders come gushing out of her face. The others react quickly enough that she manages only to be placed in a mental hospital instead of winding up dead.
The Red Room
When the teens decide to find out more about Sarah bellows to hopefully save their skin, it’s Chuck’s turn to go. Chuck finds himself in a lockdown situation in the insane asylum. A strange-looking girl who looks and acts like something straight out of a Studio Ghibli movie walks at him down long corridors. Everywhere he turns, she is there. Four of her converge on him until one of the girls envelops him in her crazy folds.
Who needs a hug?!
The Jangly Man
The heavy hitter of this movie is the body horror fiend known as The Jangly Man. Senior Jangles, as he likes to be called is a contorting, crunching, body morphing, horror that possesses the ability to fall apart limb from limb and reconfigure himself at will. This guy is after Ramon, and boy is he spoopy.
Mr. Bo Jangles
In the end, the two remaining teens, Stella and Ramon manage to make it out thanks to Stella’s quick thinking. She manages to convince Sarah’s ghost that she will write her story for her. Oh yeah, Stella’s a writer… So there’s that.
Final recommendations
While Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great. It was pretty by the books. Its the movie you would write if you were tasked with writing a movie based on the book, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. If that sounds like fun to you, give it a whirl, otherwise meh.
Taglines
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQA8JOErk5Q
Paranormal Activity 2 Review
Aug 07, 2019
We re-watched Paranormal Activity 2, and it still holds up. It takes everything that works from the first film and ever so slightly expands on it. It’s not perfect, but it is highly effective. It also happens to be one of the most profitable horror movies of all time. Listen to our review in this episode of Horror Movie Talk.
Paranormal Activity 2 is directed by Tod Williams and can be found can be wherever you rent or buy your movies.
Synopsis for Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 2 takes place before and briefly after the occurrences of Paranormal Activity. However, this time, the movie focuses on Kristy Rey’s (Sprague Grayden) family of 4. Kristy is the sister of Katie from the first film. A year after Kristy gives birth to their son Hunter, strange occurrences, Activities even, start happening, and the Rey family eventually figures out that they are being tormented by a demon. Paranormal Activity 2 uses the same found footage techniques found in the first film, but expands the scope of the story beyond the recent hauntings and delves a little more into Kristy and Katies past.
Katie and Kristi
Review of Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 2 expands the scope of the original film and uses aome very effective devices that take full advantage of the found footage genre. Whenever your marketing focuses almost exclusively on genuine audience reactions, you know you’re doing something right.The movie expands the “lore” of the Rey sisters in this movie, but never over extends like in the later films. The mystery, dread, and dramatic irony are all there in the movie, and it somehow is just as memorable as the first. You’ll walk away wondering how the filmmakers created more tension with a static shot of a pool vacuum than most of the tension contained in most horror movies. The subtle audio and visual cues are enough to carry you through to the end when they go full jumpscare and finally have some payoff.
Chronology of Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2
If you’ve seen Paranormal Activity, you should know what to expect from the sequel. There aren’t many surprises in the overarching plot. The family sets up a bunch of cameras and they are increasingly haunted by a demon presence.
The differences are small between the two films, but this film does introduce some great gimmicks.
To start out, we should establish the timeline of the two films. The events of the film start out a year before the events in Paranormal Activity 1. The opening sequence is a series of family videos right before and after their son Hunter is born.
The film then jumps forward to two months before PA1, and it shows a video of them documenting damage to their house for an insurance claim. This gives them a great excuse to set up security cameras around the house.
The security cameras document the family tormented by a demon for several days and in the end, Kristi through a ritual, transfers the demon over to her sister Katie (from the first film.
The events of the first movie happen off screen and then Paranormal Activity 2 ends with Katie appearing in Kristi’s house, now possessed by the demon, and kills everyone except Hunter.
Elements that work in Paranormal Activity 2
“The sound” is one of the best things about the Paranormal Activity franchise. The low rumble that communicates the presence of a demon makes even plain shots of an empty room dreadful.
https://youtu.be/GkwepzU7moE
“The Sound”
They up the stakes in this film in a couple of ways. They include:
Abbie the dog
A weirdly compelling pool
More cameras
More skepticism
More background story
More people
Should you watch Paranormal Activity 2?
yes
Check Out Our Episode on the Worst Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension
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One Year Anniversary EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
Jul 31, 2019
Did I just do something I’ve never done before and use three exclamation marks to punctuate the title for a post?! I did. Why? Because this week is special, it’s our one year anniversary!
David, Bryce, Brennan
We go over what we liked and hated in the movies we reviewed over the past year and take a deeper dive into our insecurities and triumphs that we have had throughout our first year podcasting.
We would like to thank you, yeah, you. Thanks for listening to us once, thanks for listening to us a few times, or every episode. Thanks for talking to us, thanks for laughing with us, thanks for cringing at/with us. Without you guys, we are just talking to each other, which would be enough, but not nearly as fun!
Dead Night (2017) Review
Jul 29, 2019
Oof. Seriously though, while watching this movie, I was quoted as saying to Bryce and my poor wife, “I didn’t realize they still made this kind of movie.” Dead Night is a movie that gets lost on it’s way to the end – where that is, I’m still not sure.
https://youtu.be/tyKyboTBsU4
I was decently excited to watch this. The poster and summary had a “cabin in the woods” quality to it, and I love horror set in the deep woods. I think my brain did some subliminal math with the title and the poster as well. I saw the two-word title starting with “dead” and the snowy woods in the poster and remembered Dead Snow (a Nazi zombie flick that’s great fun). Don’t let your brain make the mistake my brain made.
Want To Watch It?
Click the Picture to watch on Amazon
Dead Night is for people who love bad horror. If you like to laugh at continuity errors, zany and confusing plots, large portions of unexplained but seemingly important elements – this is your swan song.
I would liken the feel of this movie to something that would be shown in the middle of the day on the Sci-Fi network in the 90’s. It starts off with fun dialog, a decent setup, and mildly interesting characters, then at some point a switch is flipped, and everything goes so far off the rails that you are left confused as to how things ended up this way.
My Rating
2/10
Spoilers
The movie starts out showing a couple making out in a convertible in the woods in 1961. The young lady hears something, and of course, the young man goes to check it out. A horrifying figure makes swift work of them both. An alien looking monolith is in the shot for a moment, and we are left wondering.
Cut to 2015. The Pollack family is on a trip for rest and relaxation, but more importantly because James Pollack (AJ Bowen) has something incurable and his wife, Casey Pollack (Brea Grant) has it on good authority that their vacation rental was built on restorative minerals. Their son Jason (Joshua Hoffman) and daughter Jessica (Sophie Dalah) are less than enthusiastic to be going on this vacation. Jessica has her friend Becky (Elise Luthman) along for the ride. Jason and Becky clearly have a little bit of a crush on each other.
The family gets to the cabin and begins to get ready for their stay. At this point in the movie, the framing, dialog, and lighting are done well – so well in fact, that it tricked me into believing this was going to be great. It has plenty of artsy shots on the cabin and surrounding woods that last a little bit too long but are sometimes indicative of hints at later plot points.
As the movie progresses, I began to realize that all those artsy shots were for naught. The husband heads out of the cabin to find some firewood and eventually stumbles upon Leslie Bison (Barbara Crampton) who is pretending to be passed out in the snow and ends up being the main antagonist.
A switch flips. Enter mid 90’s made-for-tv Sci-Fi channel vibe. For brevity’s sake here is the quick and dirty rundown of the second and final act:
It turns out that a coven of witches don’t like the way things are going in this part of Oregon, so they decided to give Leslie Bison, who is running for some office, some powers in hopes that she would take the election and sway the future in their favor. Powers Leslie has bestowed upon her are:
Control over alien monolith that produces rocks that zombify people when applied to their body
The ability to teleport
The ability to induce hallucinations
Other things?
Casey, the mother, doesn’t like that Leslie is zombifying her family, so she tries to fight back but ends up killing most of her zombie family with an ax at the behest of the witches. Oh, yea, she met with the witches, and they told her that the only way to make this stop was to kill her family.
Some minor explanations are made using a crime investigations show that pops up throughout the movie.
How Dead Night Stacks Up
If you want that 90’s Sci-Fi channel nostalgia or love seeing super cheesy made-for-streaming horror movies – this is for you. Barabara Crampton really hams it up in this, and she is a seasoned vet in the horror movie industry, so if you dig her maybe check it out.
Everyone else, remember, some of the biggest stars in all of Hollywood got their start in garbage horror movies that you wouldn’t like to watch. I look forward to being able to say, “I saw so and so in Dead Night, and it was terrible!”
Gremlins 2: The New Batch Review
Jul 24, 2019
The Gremlins are back, and this… new batch…is crazier than ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s barely horror, but it’s horror adjacent and stupid fun. Can you just give us this?
Gremlins 2: The New Batch movie poster
Gremlins 2 can be found streaming on Shudder as of the recording of this podcast, but I don’t know if it’s still on for you. You’re a big boy, you can Google it.
https://youtu.be/AdCp0qLqnCY
Gremlins 2: The New Batch Trailer
Gremlins 2 Synopsis
Years after the events of Gremlins, Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) and KAte Beringer (Phoebe Cates) have moved to New York and are working in a new high tech, highly automated, highly satirical skyscraper. Guess who else is in the skyscraper? That’s right, Gizmo the Mogwai. Rules get broken, hijinks ensue.
If you liked the Gremlins part of Gremlins, then you will love this movie. We got all kinds of Gremlins. Bat Gremlins, googly eyed gremlins, Gremlins with 8 legs. We got brainy gremlins, dumb gremlins, electrical gremlins, hell, we even have a vegetable gremlin. More Gremlins than you can shake a stick at.
Where the original films tone was inconsistent, Gremlins 2 comes out very early on and establishes itself as a goofy as fuck comedy/horror. While it’s tempting to say that this movie was a hot mess, I honestly can’t. It is ridiculous, yes. But it’s not supposed to be taken seriously. There are a lot of fun moments in this movie that break the fourth wall. The film acknowledges and pokes fun at the logical inconsistencies of the original, including Kate’s weird asides about personal tragedies on holidays. There is also some top quality satire of 80’s business tropes that ranks up there with Robocop.
Score for Gremlins 2: Muppets Take Manhatten
6/10
Spoilers for Gremlins 2
Pretty much everything can be covered in this Key and Peele sketch:
https://youtu.be/wHtH_SHhc6E
Key and Peele Gremlins 2 Sequel Script Doctor Sketch
Should You Watch Gremlins 2?
This is a great example of a movie that you should watch if you flip by it on cable (do people still have that?). I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it, but if it is in front of you, you will enjoy it. It’s goofy fun, and is entertaining in intentional and unintentional ways.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer Review
Jul 17, 2019
The Killing of a Sacred Deer is artsy, cold, clinical, and touched on a disturbing theme that many will find difficult to deal with. This is subject matter that we have discussed on a few other movies we have reviewed as being deeply disturbing.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer Trailer
https://youtu.be/CQFdGfwChtw
I dare you to watch this trailer and not want to watch the movie after.
If you want to watch The Killing of a Sacred Deer, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Currently, you can find this on Amazon Prime for free with a Prime subscription.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer is, as far as I can tell, a modern-day retelling or rendition of the Greek tragedy of Agamemnon and Iphigenia, where Agamemnon accidentally kills a sacred deer and ends up offending the gods because of it. The goddess Artemis demands that he pay for the killing with blood from his own family as payment in what is called blood for blood.
The interesting thing about this movie is that it takes a Greek tragedy, which I think we can all agree, seems distant and hard to relate to at best, and makes it relevant to today’s audience in a very real way. What’s even more interesting is that while they are making this hard to relate to Greek tragedy more relevant and easier to relate to, they simultaneously make the whole movie very cold and clinical. So it’s a bit of a mixture, making it more relatable and also harder to comprehend. Because it isn’t a literal retelling of the story of Agamemnon, it becomes a unique story of its own.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer is, at its core, a psychological thriller. The acting is delivered in a way that makes you feel mildly alarmed because it’s so deadpan and void of real human expression. There is a bleakness that pervades the whole script, even the sets, camera angles, and framing are set up to invoke minimalism and clinical feelings.
Alicia Silverstone is still sexy as hell
There are plenty of topics that The Killing of a Sacred Deer touches on that are meant to make the viewer at the very least intrigued, and usually, a little bit disturbed. Lot’s of strange sexual undertones pervade this movie but never make it to the surface. The overall effect is an oily residue that coats your brain with the thought of, “that was awful and strange… I want to know more.”
The actors did a great job of doing what they were told to do by the director – act detached. The Killing of a Sacred Deer centers around Dr. Steven Murphey (Colin Farrell) who is a surgeon, and his wife Anna (Nicole Kidman) who is a clinic owner, and their two children, Kim (Raffey Cassidy) and Bob (Sunny Suljic). A key role is that of Martin (Barry Keoghan), a teenage boy whose father died in the hands of Steven on the operating table. Young Martin has taken an interest in Dr. Murphey’s profession, and Dr. Murphey obliges Martin by allowing him to do a kind of job shadow thing when it’s convenient.
Like These Cold and Clinical Movies? Check Out The House That Jack Built Review!
Interestingly, Martin’s mother is played by Alicia Silverstone, who has made a fabulous transition from being my teenage heartthrob to being my middle-aged heartthrob. Bravo, Alicia! Although it’s a small part, her character is effective and deeply sexual.
This scene is like most of the aesthetic, cold and clinical
The Killing of a Sacred Deer was directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, who did The Lobster, which was also an A24 distribution, and starred Colin Farrell. Lanthimos and a Greek man named Efthymis Filippou wrote The Killing of a Sacred Deer.
My Rating
8/10
If you love psychological thrillers, this is a must-see movie.
Spoilers
The whole movie feels “off” from the start. There are tons of sexual undertones that are brought up to hang in front of the viewer like tawdry details of private moments that shouldn’t be discussed in public. The Killing of a Sacred Deer sets out to make its audience feel odd, and it does a great job of it.
Nicole and son, Bob
The basic premise of The Killing of a Sacred Deer is Dr. Murphy accidentally killed Martins father during surgery that he was performing on the man’s heart. Martin has become close to Dr. Murphey under the guise of being interested in becoming a surgeon himself. As it turns out, Martin is only interested in setting a cursed upon Dr. Murphey’s family that goes a little something like this:
“You killed a member of my family; now you gotta kill a member of your family to balance things out, I can’t tell you who to kill, that’s for you to decide. But, if you don’t they will all get sick and die.”
Paralysis of the limbs
Refusal of food until starvation
Bleeding from the eyes (once this starts death is not far away)
Death
Soon, Dr. Murphey’s kids begin to show signs of the curse, and eventually, he is forced to choose which member of his family is sacrificed to save the rest.
Super Interesting video with Yorgos Lanthimos and Colin Farrell
https://youtu.be/C29iACkyfYY
There is a lot of art, intent, and symbolism going on in The Killing of a Sacred Deer, and it worked well on me. The weird sexual tones, the sterility of the acting and the characters themselves, it all worked toward making this a film that seeped into my mind and gave me a long-lasting memory. This movie forces it’s viewers to come face-to-face with some very disturbing concepts, and I appreciate it even though it may strike many as lacking heart.
Poor Bob
The Story of Iphigenia
For anyone who is interested in learning the story of Iphigenia, the Greek myth that this movie is based upon, check out GreekMythology.com. They do a good job of providing the story in a wiki format that is clear and concise.
Is The Killing of a Sacred Deer Worth Watching?
If you don’t mind facing some disturbing material and themes, I would recommend anyone who is looking for a seriously solid psychological horror movie to see The Killing of a Sacred Deer. It’s a great movie that will stick with you. Also, mom’s spaghetti.
If you want to watch The Killing of a Sacred Deer, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Midsommar Review
Jul 10, 2019
Midsommar is the antidote for “spooky house syndrome“. If there is a more idyllic horror movie, I don’t know of it. This slow burn pagan horror film will stick with you and give you plenty to talk about afterwards. It certainly gave us a lot to talk about. This episode of Horror Movie Talk comes in at just over two hours.
https://youtu.be/1Vnghdsjmd0
Midsommar can be found in theaters now.
Midsommar Synopsis
Writer/Director Ari Aster has followed up his dark drama-filled cult-based horror movie with this bright drama-filler cult-based horror movie. Midsommar stars Florence Pugh who plays Dani, an anxious young woman who experiences a horrible family tragedy, and then accompanies her boyfriend and anthropology doctoral student Christian (Jack Reynor) on a trip to Sweden to experience a traditional summer festival of a certain rural commune.
Christian and his friends Josh and Mark were invited on the trip by their friend and classmate, Pelle who grew up in the small Swedish commune. Unbeknownst to Dani, Christian has been planning to break up with her for a while, and unbeknownst to everyone but Pelle, the once in a lifetime midsommar festival is actually a vicious pagan cult ritual.
My Review of Midsommar
Midsommar was everything I wanted it to be, and I had high expectations. It’s a breath of fresh air in the horror genre, and like Hereditary, takes a lot of concepts from older horror movies and melds them to create a new and compelling story for today. Ari Aster’s strength is his focus on character and relationship drama, and the characters and relationships in this movie are very familiar and believable. They serve to ground the horror elements so that they also seem very real.
The bright and idyllic setting of the movie does a lot to mask and inoculate the viewer to the horrific rituals that occur in the festival. Also, the framing of the events as a rare and sacred cultural event, along with the generous drug usage creates a logical reason for why the American characters are slow to react to the more extreme elements of the festival.
Check Out Our Review of The Ritual
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2018/11/28/the-ritual-review/
If you like pagan or ancient rituals in your horror, check out our episode on The Ritual.
It’s a slow burn, and while there are horrific and surprising scenes, they are intentionally dampened with the over saturated visuals and muted sound design. The tension and anxiety that I felt ramped up very slowly throughout the movie, to where I didn’t realize how much I was being affected. Towards the end I was on the edge of my seat with a lot of nervous energy watching the inevitable and dreadful fate of the American party.
Score for Midsommar
Score 9/10
Midsommar Spoilers
Expand for Spoilers and Deeper Discussion…
The opening act of Midsommar
The film’s opening act is really about setting up the relationship between Dani and Christian. Dani is very needy and has a lot of family drama so she leans on Christian very heavily. Christian isn’t as self sacrificing and long-suffering as he portrays to Dani, and is actually working up the courage to finally break up. Ari Aster has described this movie as a “break up movie”. So it’s very important to frame this relationship early on.
The latest scare for Dani is that her sister isn’t returning her emails, and after she calls and and expresses her worry to Christian, he (after the call) commiserates with his buddies, and they encourage him to finally break it off.
Well, Dani’s fears become very real when it is revealed that her sister poisoned herself and her parents with carbon monoxide in an apparent murder suicide. Cut to shot of Dani screaming in utter dispair, ala Hereditary. Obviously not the best time to break up.
Dani is Invited
Christian finds himself in a tough spot when Dani finds out about a long trip to Sweden that he is taking with his college friends in the coming week. Dani and Christian get into a super believable argument, and Dani ends up being invited on the trip.
Christian’s friends all seem to be studying anthropology and specifically rural pagan festivals. One of the friends, Pelle, came from a rural village in Sweden and he invited them all to a once in a lifetime midsommar festival. He describes it as a “nine day festival with lots of pageantry“.
Traveling to the Midsommar Festival
The trip to the midsommar festival features a lot of great shots by Aster. These include a great transition between an apartment bathroom and an airplane bathroom, and an homage to The Shining‘s opening sequence driving through the woods.
Once they arrive at a field outside the entrance to the festival, they are given psychedelic mushrooms, and there are some trippy visual effects. As foreshadowing, Dani doesn’t want to take the drugs yet, but gives in to peer pressure. Both Dani and Mark have really bad trips.
When they enter the village (festival grounds?), they are greeted with the warmest, friendliest Swedes in existence.
Skål!
They are introduced to the villagers that describe the festival as happening every 90 years. We are given small hints that there is more to the festival than just singing, dancing, and drinking. There are many tapestries and drawings throughout the buildings that show depictions of ancient blood rituals.
This means something… this is important.
There is one particular yellow house that is described as a sacred temple that no one is allowed to enter.
Here is said temple.
The First Big Ritual: Ättestupa
The first time we really see confirmation that this festival involves human sacrifice, is at the Ättestupa.
Everyone waits at a rune shaped table for an older couple to arrive so that they can eat. The older couple is then transported on carried chairs to a large cliff. Down below the villagers and tourists look up.
I believe I can fly…
After the old people’s hands are cut, their blood are smeared on some runes on a rock.
Runes smeared with blood.
Then the couple both freely throw themselves off the cliff to kill themselves with varying levels of success. Luckily, there is an alternate plan for the old man that doesn’t die on impact.
The alternate plan
The over-exposed filmwork and the muted sound design are an attempt to numb the impact of these deaths for the audience, but it’s impossible not to be affected by the imagery nonetheless.
The reactions to the ritual are mixed. The anthropology students are intrigued, Dani is horrified and wants to leave, and the English couple is angry and wants to leave as well.
Using Cultural Differences as a Source of Dread
The real source of dread for this movie is from the feeling of being a foreigner in a foreign land. It puts you in a weird relativistic mindset where you aren’t sure what to think about what you are witnessing. Both the characters in the film and the audience watching it are experiencing the same thing.
The real danger is getting lulled into the idea that the things you are seeing aren’t actually horrific, they are just related to an alternate worldview and moral framework that is just as valid as yours.
The Symbolism in Midsommar
Throughout the film, Josh and others are learning a lot about the symbolism and meaning behind the rites of the festival.
Josh learns from an Elder that in their sacred books, they write a type of “emotional sheet music” from nine symbols that represent the nine different emotional states. These symbols are decided by the oracle that dictates them.
In this case, the oracle is named Ruben. Ruben is severely retarded from intentional inbreeding. You read that right. They intentionally inbreed an oracle, because then, they will be “untainted by normal cognition”.
Meet Ruben
The Ending of Midsommar
Person by person, all the foreigners in the group mysteriously disappear and Dani and Christian are the last outsiders left.
Christian is tempted into having sex with a sexy sexy redheaded swede.
You know what to do…
Dani is pulled into the dance competition and eventually is crowned the May Queen. After which, she discovers Christian’s infidelity by peering through Sweden’s largest keyhole.
What’s the point of a keyhole so large you can reach through it?
The film ends with all of the horrific murders being revealed and the explanation that the village needs 9 people to sacrifice in the culmination of the festival. All but three are accounted for.
Two Swedes volunteer for the honor, and the last soul is decided by what can be described as a sacrificial powerball, and then finally by the May Queen herself, Dani.
Dani is given the choice between sacrificing Christian or sacrificing another villager.
She chooses Christian.
Christian is then sewed up into a bear suit, and propped up inside the temple along with (in varying levels of decomposition) Mark, Josh, the English couple, the two elderly villagers, and the two volunteers.
Just making some room.
The temple is then burned, and the last shot is Dani cracking a smile.
Who Would Like Midsommar?
There are definitely people that won’t like this movie. It won’t satisfy horror purists with it’s toned down gore.
However, if you like realistic interpersonal drama set in a compelling and fascinatingly dreadful situation, you should enjoy this film quite a bit.
It is a singularly unique film despite it’s quotations from and homages to other horror films in the pagan horror subgenre. Much like Hereditary in 2018, you’ll be hard pressed to find a horror film of similar quality and vision this year.
Ari Aster is the film auteur to keep an eye on.
It Came From Social Media
We were lucky enough to watch Midsommar with the cult! Ok, it may have been more of a group of friends who bake and prepare delicious food who happen to enjoy top tier horror, but who the heck can tell? Check out some of the pics that we got from them! Follow them on the Instagram @awkwardasshole and @kret2! Thanks cultists!
They forced us to thumbs up with threatsIdilic look on fleekThey worship cookin’The full spread
Videos mentioned on the podcast
https://youtu.be/SxI7B758XBQ
How to Cook For Forty Humans
https://youtu.be/lm1N5_XeVIk
Are y’all with the cult?
https://youtu.be/EVCrmXW6-Pk
Not the bees!!!
Annabelle Comes Home Review
Jul 03, 2019
Who would have guessed that after that train wreck of a sequel, Annabelle: Creation, we would get this awesome ray of horror themed sunshine? Not me! Annabelle Comes Home is a spooky, funny, and jump-scare-riffic addition to the conjuring universe that holds it’s own on almost every front.
Annabell Comes Home Trailer
https://youtu.be/bCxm7cTpBAs
Synopsis of Annabelle Comes Home
This entry into The Conjuring franchise takes place almost exclusively within Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren’s house. While the Warren’s leave to fight demons and ghosts, they hire the hottest babysitter in the universe, Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman) to watch their daughter, Judy (Mckenna Grace), and watch their house for them.
While The Warrens are away the children do play and Mary Ellen’s friend Daniela Rios (Katie Sarife) invites herself over to hang out at the Warrens. Daniela breaks into the Warren’s ‘no touchy’ room storing all their super-haunted shit, and ends up letting Annabelle out of her cage. Pretty quickly these girls find themselves with more doll than they bargained for!
Mary Ellen’s crush, Bob (Michael Cimino) also shows up to provide a great amount of comic relief. I included Bob in this synopsis because his role is critical to this being a good movie and Micahel Cimino did a great job in the role.
While the Annabelle series had a strong start with the original Annabelle, the sequel (Annabelle Creation)was nothing short of bad. Annabelle Comes Home was enjoyable in almost every way. It had a strong script with believable and lovable characters who were acted well by a very capable cast of young adults and children, which is a tall order. While the pacing was a bit too fast for my taste, the movie didn’t suffer from it too much, and it did an admirable job of hearkening back to the long-drawn-out dread tension build’s of The Conjuring 1 & 2.
These actresses were great. The premise was solid. The execution was skillful. The experience was very enjoyable. If you are looking to have a fun time with some jump scares and fake-outs, this is an even better option than Child’s Play 2019, although not as goofy.
The movie starts out with the Warrens acquiring Annabelle from some dirty hippies, or at least that’s what I wanted them to be. They were probably more like young adults out of college? The Warrens have a long drive to get home and Annabelle is sitting in the back seat, enjoying the ride with that nice smile on her face.
The Warrens are diverted from the normal highway route by some late night construction, which seems questionable, but go with it! As they pass the creepiest graveyard in the creepiest part of the creepiest state (Connecticut), the car breaks down.
Creepy car breakdown in front of creepy graveyard means its creepy
As Ed happily hops out of the car to check the timing belts, Lorraine notices a bunch of creepy happenings transpiring, and before you know it, the whole graveyard student body is present! A zombie/ghost kicks unknowing Ed in front of a suddenly there semi-truck which manages to swerve just in time!
Remember the Buzz About Bird Box? Check Out Our Review!
Lorraine then summarizes Annabelle by saying, “This doll is a beacon for other spirits.”
Now we know, Annabelle is a tuning fork for bad stuff. Or maybe an amplifier for evil? Something like that.
The Warrens go to great lengths to contain Annabelle in their artifacts room because she is causing all the other artifacts to act up. As the priest is sanctifying the room and Annabelle they contain her in a glass case (you know the one) made out of glass that they obtained from some church before it was remodeled. Now, as long as no one messes with her, we will be fine…
Look at all those haunted objects! You just know the samurai is gonna do something cool!
They Mess With Annabelle!
Of course they mess with her! It wouldn’t be much of a movie if they just left her in her glass house – something, something, throwing rocks? Daniela, Mary Ellen’s friend, is obsessed with the Warrens and what they do, she can’t help it. She lost her dad tragically when she was young and has blamed herself for the incident ever since.
Daniela decides that there must be something in the Warren’s artifact gallery that can give her closure with her deceased dad, so she break into it! Smart, Daniela…
She fiddles with every crazy and mundane object in the room before coming to Annabelle, who she goes to great lengths to pull from the case marked with everything but a radioactivity sign.
At this point, shit hits the fan pretty quickly. let me discuss a minor pacing problem with this movie before I continue with the plot.
Pacing Problems
Annabelle Comes Home hits the scares and spooks early and often and doesn’t really let up. This is the format that The Conjuring is most notable for, and it’s a standard that horror movies aspire to right now – it’s a trend. Is it a trend that will end? I hope so.
Annabelle’s shadow getting frisky
It’s nice when horror movies do their due diligence and give you a light beginning to introduce you to the characters. They give you some time to settle in and then they pull the rug out from under you. This new Conjuring-esque thing where they just try to scare the pants off of you out the gate doesn’t work for me because at the start of the movie I haven’t bought the premise yet.
It’s a minor issue with this movie and they make up for the abrupt pacing with characters and acting that are charming and fun.
What Annabelle Comes Home Does Well
I’ve already gushed about the acting and the characters, so what else does this movie do well? It handles tension in a great way. Instead of lots of quick, cheap jump-scares, it intermingles long held tension over a couple minutes at a time before releasing it with a scare, or even letting it breath and not doing anything with it.
Knife wielding bride? Check!
This movie also has some nice camera work. There are lots of up-close shots on characters that do a good job of keeping the audience trying to look for what’s going on in the background without letting them see too much. There are a few Alfred Hitchcock homage shots, but I would never venture to say that Annabelle Comes Home aspires to such heights. Instead, it uses the camera to build tension in an effective way that I appreciated and noticed.
Annabelle Unleashed!
Once Annabelle is released from her cage, the house comes alive, or maybe dead? Maybe the house comes dead alive? Whatever, suddenly all of the artifacts in the house feel pretty good, and all of the humans feel pretty bad. a veritable smorgasbord of convincing and menacing baddies and objects lurk about.
Annabelle’s undertaker friend is quite effective, but a bit of a stingy bitch
Everything from a knife wielding bride to a haunted board game hits the scene and the scares really ramp into a fevered pitch.
When Daniela opens Annabelle’s cage the artifacts be like…
https://youtu.be/pSANTRnEBgg?t=76
One of my favorite scare tools in this movie was a television that foretold the future directly in front of the television by about 4 seconds. It sounds hokey, but man, it works!
There is an undertaker who drops coins around the house, a toy monkey that makes horrible music and even a werewolf/hellhound that chases my boy Bod around the outside of the house. Of course, Annabelle shows up a few times too.
Final Recommendation
This is an easy movie to recommend because it is entertaining, fun, and manages to avoid committing many sins. If you want a scary date night, Annabelle Comes Home is the movie for you, and if you are big into The Conjuring you really can’t miss this entry.
Child’s Play 2019 Review
Jun 26, 2019
Child’s Play 2019 is probably the first movie that we’ve reviewed that I can whole heartedly say is so bad that it’s good. This movie has almost nothing to do with the original movie, and makes a bunch of bizarre choices, but in the end it is very entertaining.
Child’s Play 2019 Poster
https://youtu.be/ZFy8ZgLd574
Child’s Play can be found in theaters now, and you can also watch the original for a limited time for free on amazon prime.
Synopsis
Child’s Play 2019 is a hard reboot of the 1988 film of the same name. However, it bares little resemblance to the original. Basically the only elements that hold over are… kind of the design of the doll, and that there is a doll, and that it’s name is Chucky. Child’s Play 2019 tells the story of a child’s doll for teenagers that looks like an anime version of a little person, and has the voice of a middle aged man talking in a child’s voice. This doll isn’t like any ordinary doll, though, it connects to your home automation system! Because that makes sense. Also, the doll has an advanced AI that it uses to learn how fun it is to kill people.
This movie is kind of a hot mess, but it still kind of works. It’s the first movie that we are reviewing that I can give a heavy stamp of “So bad it’s good”. This movie goes beyond head scratching horror movie logic, and into the realm of the absurd. Watching the trailer and hearing about many of the elements of this film before hand, made me think several times “that’s a weird choice”. I assumed that upon watching the film that it would all come together and make sense as a whole. Nope. All those things still seem like weird choices still.
Why would you give a child’s doll home automation integration?
Why would a teenager have/want a doll?
Why Aubrey Plaza?
Why that face?
Why Mark Hammil as the voice?
These and other questions are answered with “because”. The movie suffers from the “and then this scene happens” syndrome, with very little happens in term or story arc after the initial set up of the plot. But who are we joking, it’s a movie about a murderous doll. This is not a thinking man’s movie, and really, in terms of entertainment value, this movie was enjoyable to watch. I laughed and winced several times throughout the movie, and I consider that a win in any horror movie. There are a lot of effective death scenes, and the schlock value is high enough to let me laugh off the bad jokes and ridiculous elements of the story.
Remember The Original Child’s Play? Check Out Or Review!
First of all, lets talk about the company that makes Chucky: Kasdan. This company has the worst business model that I can think of in recent movie history. What is the target market for a child’s toy that integrates with your home automation and Uber equivalent?
I try not to be a snob about movie logic, but in this case it actually pulled me out of the movie.
But like I stated previously, this is not the thinking man’s movie, and really, neither was the original.
Instead of having a doll literally possessed with the soul of a serial killer, in this version, Chucky is a poor innocent AI that has had his safety protocols removed by a disgruntled Chinese factory worker.
Want a Well Done Scary Movie? Our Review of Evil Dead 2013!
Throughout the film, we are shown Chucky in earnest trying to learn how to best “play” with Andy. Since Andy and his group of friends are teenagers, they are kind of dicks. Through observation, Chucky learns that they enjoy swearing and more importantly, watching death. After Chucky is exposed to Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and sees the gleeful expressions of Andy and his friends, he starts to imitate the psychotic behavior he sees on TV.
Since he has “imprinted” on Andy, Chucky also gets insanely jealous of Andy’s time and attention. This results in many deaths because side characters (including a cat) are bothering Andy or just keeping him from playing with Chucky.
The original film didn’t have a lot of humor, but when this one tries, it really falls flat. After the black detective finds Andy’s Mom’s Boyfriend’s body mangled in a watermelon patch, he states, “White guy dead in a watermelon patch, poetic”. I still don’t understand why that is supposed to be funny.
Also, there is a scenario taken straight out of a sitcom where Chucky returns the boyfriend’s face to Andy, and Andy accidently(?) wraps it in wrapping paper and gives it to a neighbor. Then wacky hijinks ensue when he has to get it back.
Who wrote this?
There are a couple of gratuitous deaths, include the demise of the poor man’s Jack Black.
The end is where the carnage ramps up. At the release of the Buddy 2, everyone is crowding around like it’s Black Friday, and of course, since Chucky is connected to the cloud, his evil is infectious to the other buddies (and buddy bears). A doll army is released among the hapless shoppers, and blood and gore is splashed across the screen in a manner that could satisfy most zombie genre fans.
Chucky’s death feels tacked on at the end, and feels pretty contrived. Andy’s mom acts as the damsel in distress, and Andy saves the day. Big whoop.
Final Recommendations, “who would like this”
If you like schlock, and laughing at ridiculous scenarios and premises, then you will enjoy this movie.
Tom Holland‘s original Child’s Play (1988) holds up well even by today’s standards. I think people tend to forget what the original Child’s Play is, which is harsh and disturbing. It’s easy to see why it has become a cult classic that has spawned so many sequels, because it’s a niche horror movie that really doubles down on terror. Read below or listen to our review.
Child’s Play 1988 movie poster
Child’s Play (1988) Trailer
https://youtu.be/sjiyV8mtXiU
Child’s Play 1988 trailer #1
Child’s Play (1988) Plot Synopsis
Andy and Chucky in bed…yeesh!
Child’s Play is a movie about a serial killer named Charles Lee Ray (Chucky) who, in his dying breath manages to transfer his consciousness into a Good Guy brand doll, which ends up in the home of Andy Barclay – A sweet young boy who just wants a friend. As the story progresses Chucky cuts a swathe of terror through the Chicago neighborhood where the Barclays live and Andy finds himself with more doll than he bargained for!
Own The Chucky Anthology
Add all the old school Chucky Movies to your collection.
Yep. This is a classic that set the stage for one of the most memorable slasher series ever made. While the sequels can be hit or miss, the original is strange and interesting from start to finish.
Charles Lee Ray before he transfers his consciousness into the Good Guy doll.
The original Child’s Play is not for the faint of heart because it goes heavy in the paint when it comes to disturbing and suggestive themes. Mostly, I was shocked because of how sweet and innocent young Andy was, and how much he loved this doll who has a psychopathic serial killer living within him. While young Andy (Alex Vincent) is not the best actor, he is charming and believable to the point that I felt tons of empathy for him. The empathy that I felt for Andy and his mother , Karen (Catherine Hicks) really went a long way in making this a disturbing movie, because it felt like they were in true danger and didn’t even know it.
While the original Child’s Play is not the most gruesome or splatter driven slasher from the late 80’s it is a superb exercise in audience manipulation. While the premise is a bit goofy, the execution is taken deadly serious by writer/director Tom Holland, and it ends up paying off.
Catherine Hicks thinking about making things HOT HOT HOT!
The one thing that Child’s Play lacks is levity of almost any kind. There are a few brief moments of minor lightheartedness, but mostly this is a deadly serious movie that could have a lot more fun than it does.
Our Score for Child’s Play (1988)
7/10
Child’s Play (1988) Spoilers
The film starts with the police chasing a wanted criminal through the mean streets of Chicago. Charles Lee Ray is the criminal and he is wanted for being the worst kind of criminal – a serial killer, namely a strangler. The chase ends up in a toy store and Charles takes a few bullets in the chest before he falls to the ground cursing the detective and promising vengeance.
With his dying breaths, Charles grabs a Good Guy doll and begins whispering some incantations. Immediately the sky begins to roil and turn black with storm clouds. These were some serious clouds, even for the Windy City. Lightening hits the building and the whole toy store explodes in a complete fireball… which seems extreme, but we are talking about a movie where a killer sends his soul into a doll, so…
Child’s Play 1988 toy store explosion.
Next We Meet The Unsuspecting Family
From here we head on over to Andy, the lovable little boy who brings his mom a balanced breakfast in bed. JK, he brings her pure sugar mixed with milk that splashes everywhere. Despite the fact that this milky sugar mixture has been splashed around her house, Andy’s mom hugs him and they head out into their living room to open up Andy’s birthday presents.
It is revealed that Karen couldn’t afford the one thing that Andy really wanted, you guessed it, a Good Guy doll. But, she does find a street peddler who is selling a slightly off-brand Good Guy doll with some added features behind her work. Let this be a lesson to all you working moms out there, pay the big bucks for the real thing, it’s always worth it not to have a possessed doll in your house.
https://youtu.be/lAxGx9qfFOk
This is a re-imagined trailer mashup for the first two Child’s Play movies that I really enjoy.
Once Chucky is in the House Things Get Alarming
Once Chucky comes home, the tension really begins to ramp up very quickly. The way the camera follows this doll around the house, being touted by this sweet little boy is extremely effective in building dread. The audience knows the terrible evil within this unassuming little doll, which really turns this movie into a bit of a peepshow.
It’s alarming to see this little boy bring his doll to be and tell it, “I love you Chucky” in an earnest way.
That same night, Andy’s “aunt” Maggie, who works with his mom, Karen, is watching Andy while his mom covers the late shift because her boss is an 80’s era dickhead. Maggie put’s Andy to bed at the exact moment when a news report on the recently deceased Charles Lee Ray comes on the nightly news. Obviously, Chucky is interested in this report, so he sneaks out of Andy’s room to see what’s on TV. Maggie becomes cross with Andy, who is as bewildered as her about Chucky, and ends up taking a claw-hammer to the forehead, forcing her out the 6th-ish story window and into the streets below.
Poor Andy Had Nothing To Do With it!
At this point, the police and Karen begin to suspect that Andy had at least something to do with Maggie’s death, and soon they notice that Andy’s pajamas have the same footprints as those found at the scene of the crime. It’s at this point where I really got a heavy whiff of how dark this movie is. There is a point that makes up the middle of this movie where one of the cutest child actors and sweet characters I’ve ever seen on the screen is being held and questioned by hardened cops about the murder of his beloved aunt Maggie. As if the idea of losing his aunt wasn’t enough, now a six year old has to be grilled by a bunch of mean men? It feels real, and dark, and sad.
At this point Chucky starts forcing Andy to take him to the bad part of town, and do things he wouldn’t otherwise do. If you’ve ever seen any of the Robocop movies, the setting of Chicago and the tone of Child’s Play feels remarkably similar. Kind of tongue in cheek depressing with a wink, if that makes any sense (it will if you are a fan of Robocop).
Chucky after a tan
Chucky’s Reign of Terror
At this point Chucky goes off the rails. He seeks out the man who taught him the voodoo required to transfer his soul into the Good Guy doll and finds out that he will become the doll if he doesn’t make another transfer soon – and the only transfer that the voodoo magic will allow is for Chucky to inhabit the body of the first person he revealed himself to. Poor Andy.
Child’s Play culminates in a standoff between Chucky, Karen, Andy and Detective Norris. This is a fantastic ending to a horror movie for a few different reasons, the first being the tried and true trope of, “He just won’t die!” Chucky is thrown in the fire, torn limb from limb, shot, and even shot in the heart, but he keeps getting up and giving it the old college try. Well, until the heart shot, that ends him…right?
Can’t Get enough of Tiny Troublemakers? Our Gremlins Review!
The reason the end works so well is it’s convincing. Surely a doll can’t make it through burning in the fireplace! Wrong. Even when there is only an arm left, little Chuck is still trying to get to Andy. The practical effects are extremely well done and leave the audience with a bevvy of haunting visions.
Who Would Like Child’s Play (1988)?
Well, considering that this is the movie that started one of the five most iconic slasher series of all time, I think it’s safe to say that if you enjoy slashers this is for you. More than that, Child’s Play is a thoughtful slasher (which is weird to say about a movie whose antagonist is a doll) because of the artful way that it plays with tension and empathy. The first half of this movie is mostly about trying and succeeding to get the audience to buy in, which is more than most slashers can say.
This movie is a lot of things. It’s hard to label it with genres without going into a run on sentence. You could call it a meta socially conscious zombie dark comedy horror film. Read below or listen to our review.
Theatrical Poster for The Dead Don’t Die
Trailer
https://youtu.be/bs5ZOcU6Bnw
The Dead Don’t Die Trailer #1
The Dead Don’t Die can be found in theaters now.
Plot Synopsis for The Dead Don’t Die
The film is set in Centerville USA, “A Real Nice Place” and follows two police officers, Chief Cliff Robertson (Bill Murray) and Ronnie Peterson (Adam Driver). Their sleepy routine of handling minor misdemeanors is disturbed when a grizzly double homicide at the towns one and only cafe. Since Centerville is such a nice place, the first assumption is that it was some animal…or several animals that did it, but Ronnie Peterson correctly guesses that it’s “zombies, you know, the undead…ghouls”. Apparently the “polar fracking” that they have been hearing on the news has inadvertently caused the earth to go off axis and…the dead to rise from their graves.
What follows is a great mix of fourth wall breaking, social commentary, and sardonic comedy horror. This movie has a definite indy feel, which isn’t too surprising, since writer/director Jim Jarmusch has made a whole career staying on the edges of mainstream. This is actually his first film that opened in more than 300 theaters. Regardless, you have likely seen or heard of some of his other films, such as Broken Flowers, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, Dead Man, and Only Lovers Left Alive. This film actually features 8 actors that have worked in previous Jarmusch films, which has resulted in an embarrassment of riches, including Tilda Swinton, Steve Buscemi, Tom Waits, Chloë Sevigny, Rosie Perez, and RZA. The dialogue is as dry as a Mormon wedding, but the world and characters that Jim Jarmusch has created are as charming as the prototypical little american town that Centerville represents. It is a precisely written, directed, and acted. There is very little fat in this movie, but the story and dialogue is given plenty of room to breath.
RZA!
The Predator! What a Fun Movie! Check Out Our Review!
I’d hesitate to say that general audiences will enjoy this movie as much as Avengers Endgame, but I think there is truly something for everyone. There were many moments throughout that delighted me, and I found myself laughing out loud as well as feeling intense existential dread. While watching it, my score kept going up and up. I highly recommend it.
Our Score for The Dead Don’t Die
9/10
The Dead Don’t Die Spoilers
Expand for Spoilers
The film opens on a graveyard with Officers Robertson and Peterson responding to a call that Hermit Bob stole one of Farmer Miller’s chickens. Already I’m on board. Any movie with a character name Hermit Bob is a movie that I’m on board with.
As they drive back and have small talk about how much of an asshole Farmer Miller is, they begin noticing that “something’s weird”. They notice that it’s still daylight when it’s well into the evening hours, and that their watches and some of the electronics have stopped working.
Officer Peterson comments: “This isn’t going to end well”.
It should be noted that this film starts off very meta, very early on. After the opening scene, the credits role to Sturgil Simpson’s “The Dead Don’t Die”.
https://youtu.be/xiukuoSjDj0
The Dead Don’t Die Theme Song.
After the credits play and the song finishes, we return to the cab of the police car. Officer Peterson turns on “civilian radio” and once again Simpson’s song starts playing. Officer Robertson mentions how familiar the song is that is playing on the radio. to which Roberson points out that “it’s the theme song”.
Polar Fracking
News reports are caught in glimpses in the opening scenes that describe that there is a environmental disaster happening because of “polar fracking”. The “industry experts” are quoted as saying there is nothing to be alarmed about, but shots of tsunamis and burning forests tell a differnt story. Apparently, the polar fracking has caused the earth to go off it’s axis.
This leads to the underlying thesis of the movie that ignoring global warming is essentially as dumb as zombie movie logic.
Want To Know How The New Child’s Play 2019 Was? Check Out Our Review!
Eventually the dead rise from their graves, starting with a couple of dead roadies played by Iggy Pop and Sara Driver. They invade the sleepy coffee shop and brutally kill and eat the two women working there.
When the police come to investigate, Officer Peterson has the theory that it’s zombies.
They then go about warning the townspeople and start preparing for the zombie apocalypse. The zombie trope of “kill the head” is underlined in the dialogue throughout the rest of the movie.
Buscemi’s Farmer Miller is the only one not warned, because…he’s an asshole.
Zombies as Consumers
One of the unique aspects of the zombies in The Dead Don’t Die is that they all moan about what they craved in their former lives. The first couple zombies groaned “coffee!” Others seek after “toooools”, “candy”, or in Carol Kane‘s case, “Chardonnay”.
By the end of the movie, Hermit Bob opines that “all them ghost people lost their souls, just hungry for more stuff,” and that they are “the remnants of the materialistic people, Guess they’ve been zombies all along.”
Tilda Swinton as Zelda Winston
This was the role that Tilda Swinton was born to play. She stars as a weird, new to town mortician that ends up being an alien. She is the most adept at handling the situation and is basically this film’s version of Michonne from The Walking Dead. However, the rest of the town is left in a lurch when her people come and take her away in a UFO ala Poochie.
https://youtu.be/4tvAjX5ACPo
Zelda’s planet also needed her.
The Ending of The Dead Don’t Die
Officer Peterson alludes throughout the movie that, “this isn’t going to end well,” and it doesn’t. One of the best moments of fourth wall breaking was when Officer Robertson asks “Why do you keep saying it’s not going to end well, how do you know?” To which Adam Driver responds “I’ve read the script.”
In the end everyone dies except Hermit Bob, who we see walking off to continue living in the woods.
Who Would Like The Dead Don’t Die?
If you like dry dark comedies like those done by the Coen Brothers, you would likely appreciate this movie. I think it has something for everyone, but if you don’t like slower paced films, then you should probably move on.
“I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time.” – texted to Ari Aster
“This hasn’t existed yet, and anything after Midsommar is going to have to contend with it. I mean, this usurps The Wicker Man as the most iconic pagan movie to be referenced.”
https://youtu.be/cv2OoejPPvY
The Dead Don’t Die Trailer #2
https://youtu.be/TMwgNnoUijY
Selena Gomez talks about how they did the decapitated head effect on The Dead Don’t Die.
https://youtu.be/jipubtK81-g
https://youtu.be/p9YvHkXJX04
Chloe Sevigny talks about working with Murray, Driver, and Swinton
The Perfection Review
Jun 12, 2019
For this week’s episode of Horror Movie Talk, we watched The Perfection on Netflix, and it is what I would consider goodbad. It had some nice visual flares, and definitely some unexpected twists. However, it’s major failing is not committing to the underlying schlock of the plot.
Synopsis for The Perfection
Netflix wants their own Get Out, so they hired Allison Williams from Get Out to star in The Perfection. Williams plays a former cello prodigy named Charlotte that was sidelined because she had to take care of her dying mother. When her mother dies, Charlotte calls up her former Dean at the prestigious Bachoff Academy of Music to try to re-enter the world of world class cellists.
https://youtu.be/q57D6kF5B1k
The Trailer for The Perfection, available for streaming on Netflix now.Lizzie (left) and Charlotte (right) playing together.
She meets the latest prodigy, Lizzie played by Logan Browning and the become close very quickly…suspiciously quickly. When Charlotte and Lizzie take a trip to China, Lizzie becomes extremely sick, and Charlotte might have something to do with it!
The rest of the movie swings back and forth in time and perspective to eventually reveal Charlotte’s true motives and the audience may or may not experience whiplash.
The Nun was a pretty big 2018 hit – Here is our Review
The perfection is not a great movie, but to me it is on the precipice of greatness. I wish they had committed more to some of the more ridiculous and/or tasteless elements. Parts of this even reminded of my wistful favorite, The Human Centipede. Mainly the ridiculous reveals and the mustache twirling level villain. Stephen Weber does a great job of playing the pretentious dean of the Bachoff School of Music.
In an age where no one is surprised by Shyamalan-esque twists, instead of upping the ante on the world building or character development, writer/director Richard Shepard ups the ante on the number of twists!
Score for The Perfection
I’m giving it a 6/10
The Perfection is not without it’s charm, and it gets a B+ for effort, but overall it’s a pretty average flick.
The Perfection Movie Spoilers
Expand for Spoilers
First of all, lets talk about the elephant in the room. The Trailer gives way too much information about the plot away. It basically undercuts the first half of the film, since you know Charlotte has nefarious motives for Lizzie from the beginning.
Not to worry though, there are plenty of twists throughout!
Twist #1: Charlotte Poisoned Lizzie
This is the least surprising since they pretty much give it away in the trailer. The whole bugs in vomit, and bugs under the skin was a red herring. Charlotte used some of her dead mothers’ medication to make Lizzie suggestible, purposely drove her to temporary insanity, and getting her to cut off her own hand.
Charlotte accomplishes her purpose, because once Lizzie returns to Bachoff, she is unceremoniously kicked out of the school. Because… who has need of a one handed cellist?
I guess since, the wound was self inflicted, Lizzie couldn’t prosecute Charlotte, but that doesn’t keep her from kicking her ass!
Lizzie brings Charlotte to Anton, and soon after, the next twist is revealed.
Twist #2: Bachoff is a Sex Dungeon Conservatory
The namesake of the film is a certain room where Anton (Weber) touts as being accoustically perfect. As such, he demands that only perfection of anyone that plays in that room. If you make a mistake, the punishment is rape.
This is the moment that the movie really goes off the rails and makes you wonder what type of movie that they were really trying to make. I posit that the reveal of the rape aspect of the school, would have been an opportune time to dive headfirst into schlock. This could have been the modern Human Centipede. However, they went the safe route and blurred out Weber’s junk. What a shame.
The Most Disgusting Movie Ever Made? Check Out Kuso!
Anton again demands that Charlotte play “The Perfection” and instead of threatening her with rape, he says he will rape the blissfully ignorant new young student.
Charlotte apparently makes a mistake, but Anton reveals that raping the young girl was just a bluff, and that they were actually going to rape Charlotte after all.
Two men and Lizzie approach, and Lizzie begins the motions to rape Charlotte with her stump arm.
I know!
This is when another twist occurs…
Twist #3: Lizzie and Charlotte are in Cahoots!
Apparently Lizzie had been working with Charlotte ever since she attacked her in her home. Apparently Charlotte explained that getting Lizzie to cut off her own arm was the only way to get Lizzie to escape Anton’s grasp.
I dunno… maybe just start with a pinky?
Anyway, after that reveal we return to the scene of the stump rape (which I guess is actually consensual?), there is a cringe inducing hip hop song in the soundtrack that signals they are about to kick ass.
Also signaling they are about to kick ass…
Twist #4: Charlotte actually has short hair!!!!!!
I honestly don’t know why they made a big deal out of this reveal. It is up there with Anton’s wife Paloma as being completely unnecessary, but strangely featured throughout.
The Ending of The Perfection
They attack Anton, who uses a knife to completely destroy one of Charlotte’s arms. However, the girls come out on top and the final scene is of Anton sitting in a chair without arms and legs while Lizzie and Charlotte play the cello together, each using their one good arm.
It was obvious that all the twists and turns were leading us to this visual, but it still seemed unearned.
Who would like The Perfection?
If you want a dumb campy horror movie with a much larger budget than it deserves, watch The Perfection.
Special Thanks
Thanks to our newest Patron, Garrett D. You can find him along with all the other Horror Movie Talk Founding Members on our supporters page
We went and saw Meh, er, I mean Ma, in theaters and it it was nothing new or exciting. If you take the stalker subgenre of horror or thrillers, add an academy award winner and a cast of pretty teens, you have Ma. It’s very by-the-books. Ma is an interesting enough movie that features darn good acting and solid direction. My problem with Ma is that it’s not notable enough to spend your money on it. It feels like many of the straight to streaming entries that Netflix provides us with, solid but forgettable.
She cares for you deeply…
Ma Synopsis
Ma follows Maggie (Diana Silvers), who is new in town, just having moved from the West coast to this town in the midwest where her mother, Erica (Juliette Lewis) is from. Maggie quickly befriends a group of gorgeous teens, and they begin their quest to party. The most important part of any party quest is finding an adult to buy you booze, and Ma (Octavia Spencer) fills that niche nicely.
As the group continues in their quest, they realize that they need a safe place to party, another niche that Ma is happy to fill. Finally, their quest to party leads them back to Ma’s house over and over, but now it’s the teens who must fill a niche – Ma’s need for acceptance and control. As the group becomes less enthusiastic about Ma’s parties, Ma becomes more and more overbearing until she has a full break with reality and becomes unhinged.
Ma Movie Trailer
https://youtu.be/eIvbEC8N3cA
Ma Movie Review
I don’t know what I thought movie reviewing was going to be about when I started doing it. However, it’s not a terribly glamorous thing because of movies like Ma. This movie didn’t commit any mortal sins, and frankly, it was pretty well done. It’s just forgettable and uninteresting, which adds to the tedium of much of life.
Ma hates beer…JK She just parties super hard
Score for Ma
6/10
Ma Spoilers
Here’s the lowdown on Ma, you’ve seen it. RememberGreta? Yea, same movie essentially. Have you seenThe Gift? If not, you should watch that instead of Ma, because it’s actually scary and keeps the audience on their toes. Here is a list of movies that do a much better job of accomplishing essentially the same story as Ma, but did give you a more interesting product:
That being said, I think Ma is a well put together movie that has a lot of good things going for it. Here is the good about Ma.
The direction is solid. At no point in Ma did I feel like I was watching a poorly put together movie. All of the actors were on point; all the camera work made sense and accomplished what it set out to do. There wasn’t much artistry to the direction in Ma, except for staying out of the way of the story, which helped to make this watchable.
Wanna Watch a Similar Stalker Horror Movie? Check Out Greta!
The acting was very good. All of the characters were acted well, of course, it helps to have probably one of the most notable Academy Award winners in recent memory, Octavia Spencer, as your star role. Octavia stole the show in terms of believability, and in this kind of stalker genre movie, that’s probably the most important part – having a believable stalker with a solid motivation. All of the other actors and actresses did a great job as well.
Ma also has a fabulously solid soundtrack of disco and club hits from the ’70s and early ’80s. The party vibes feel simultaneously fun and foreboding, which is a plus.
There was no way to make the stakes very high. The vast majority of this movie was Ma trying to get the kids to party with her. When the kids started pulling away, she resorted to lame high school level attempts to raise the stakes. Things like stealing your boyfriend, your jewelry, and show up at your house to talk to your mom – these aren’t scary. They don’t raise the stakes in Ma until the very end, at which point it’s almost like they realized that nothing had happened the whole movie and decided to throw the kitchen sink at it.
This movie didn’t rely on jump scares; I think it had one or two. Mostly it relied on building tension, which it didn’t do well.
Mostly the premise is pretty flimsy.
You guys like IV drug use?
How Ma Ends
It is revealed midway through the movie that Ma has pent up shame and anger about how she was treated by her peers back when she was in high school. She begins to hatch the plan to get back at all of her old classmates by ruining the lives of their kids.
There is a particularly disturbing flashback that Ma has about her high school crush asking her for a blowjob in the school janitorial closet. She obliges him, which I can only assume a girl would regret a bit, especially considering the janitor closet. To add insult to injury, he has the whole student body waiting outside of the closet to find out, “how she was.”
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As it turns out, Ma has a daughter whom she keeps locked up upstairs and convinced that she is sick, very similar to the real-life tale of Dee Dee Blanchard and Gypsy, which has recently been made into a miniseries calledThe Act.
At the very end, she comes completely unhinged and traps the kids in her basement and subjects them to weird punishments before the house catches fire. She decides to burn to death with the father of one of the kids who subsequently was the guy who shamed her in high school for giving him a blowjob.
Final Recommendations for Ma
If you are looking for the movie equivalent of Mild Taco Bell sauce, this is it. Not offensive, not much to say, not very memorable, but good on anything.
Brightburn Review
May 29, 2019
We went and saw Brightburn, and it was as advertised, but even more gory than I expected. It’s not a perfect film, there isn’t a lot of character development past the perfunctory set up, and there are some plot threads are fully dropped without explanation, but overall it delivers a very good horror film riffing on the superhero genre.
Brightburn Plot Synopsis
The synopsis for Brightburn is very simple. It’s the superman origin story, but instead of him being good, he’s bad. The Breyers are a young couple in Sma… Brightburn, Kansas, that desperately want a baby, but can’t have one of their own. One night, a meteor crashes into the woods near their house. Inside is a little baby that they name Brandon and raise as their own.
When Brandon reaches puberty he is awoken and summoned by voices in his head that lead him to the spacecraft he arrived in hidden in the Breyers’ barn. Brandon soon discovers he is completely impervious to harm, has super strength, and can, get this… fly. Brandon does what every good middle american farm boy would do with these new found super powers… He kills and maims anyone that gets in his way towards world domination, including those closest to him.
He’s just a good ol’ mid-western boy
Brightburn Critique
David is going to complain that this story has been done dozens of times with Superman in the comics. But if you like me aren’t a FUCKING NERD, then this is probably the first depiction of a truly evil superman origin story, at least on film. I think this film accomplished exactly what it set out to do, and was very enjoyable to me. While it is exactly what I expected in terms of plot, it exceeded my expectations with how dark, and especially how gory they went with it.
Brightburn is directed by a relative newcomer David Yarovesky, but produced by James Gunn, who is the director of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies as well as Super, another anti-superhero movie. It is well cast with Elizabeth Banks as Tori, the mother in denial, and David Denman as Kyle, the father that immediately is suspicious. Brandon Breyers, the anti-superman, is played by Jackson A. Dunn which does a great job of maintaining a steely enigmatic gaze. The script doesn’t delve too deeply into character development, but the characters are three dimensional, and react to the events of the film in natural ways.
Super
Buy or Rent James Gunn’s first Anti-Superhero film.
They keep the intentions and internal motivations of Brandon intentionally mysterious up until the time that he starts wreaking havok. Although it didn’t explore as many facets of the anti-superman story as they could have, it delivered on the promise of a really dark story in an effective and efficient manner. I really enjoyed it.
Score for Brightburn
7/10
Brightburn Spoilers
Expand for spoilers
The most important thing to get out of the way is that Roy from The Office is in this movie. David reminded me about 50 times throughout.
The first shot we see in the movie is the camera panning over a bookshelf full of books about infertility. In the background, the Bryers are having sexy time and talking about their inability to have a baby.
We get it.
The find Brandon ala Kall-El in the woods. and then there is a montage of baby Brandon looking neutral.
The thesis of the movie is basically stated when Brandon in class describes wasps that have lost their ability to create nests, so they use their strength to get other wasp species to raise their young.
That pretty much sets up how Brandon’s purpose on earth is going to be for the remainder of the film.
Brandon is summoned to the Barn in the middle of the night by glowing red light and voices in his head. He seems possessed.
He later finds out that he has superpowers by flinging a lawnmower 200 yards and then shoving his hand into it’s spinning blade.
At Brandon’s birthday him and his dad have a spat, and it seems as though Brandon’s anger affects the electronics in the restaurant.
The parents are determined to “give a shit” about what is going on with Brandon, but chalk it up to puberty. When they go through his room they discover some innocuous bra ad porn quickly followed by pictures of open body cavities.
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Brandon’s father (Roy from the office) take Brandon on a camping trip to have “the talk”. Brandon mistakes his father’s explanation of bodily functions and hormones as a tacit endorsement to be a huge creep to a girl he likes in class.
He proceeds to use his superpowers to creep on said girl. When she catches a brief flash of him before he disappears and her mother responds to her screaming.
Later at gym, when the girl refuses to save Brandon in a trust fall exercise, Brandon completely crushes and mangles her hand. Her mother flips out at Brandon and his parents. Brandon visits the girl again and she tells him that her mom doesn’t want her talking to him. He tells her that he will “take care of it”
He takes care of it by attacking her mother at her work. He uses his powers to explode some florescent lights, sending a shard into her eye. He then kills her in the freezer.
Brandon’s father is suspicious that all of his chickens have been mutilated after he catches Brandon creepily staring at them. The mother doesn’t think Brandon is capable of doing it though.
During this conversation, it is mentioned that Brandon has never been cut or bruised.
One last time, Brandon is summoned to the barn, and he finally breaks into the cellar where he discovers the spaceship that brought him to earth. He accidentally cuts himself on a piece of the spaceship when his mother startles him.
He finally understand what the voices from the spaceship are telling him: “Take the world”.
Brandon makes a visit to the school counselor which also happens to be his aunt. He shows no remorse for hurting the girl in his class. When his aunt tells him that she will have to report to the sheriff that he is making no progress, he becomes threatening.
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He visits his aunt later at her home and threatens her if she doesn’t keep quiet. She refuses to be intimidated.
His uncle discovers him in the closet of his bedroom and is furious that Brandon is acting so weird. He tells Brandon to get in his truck so he take him back to his parents. Brandon refuses.
Probably the best scene in the film is Brandon’s uncle encountering Brandon on the road and being creeped out and then attacked by Brandon. It is also probably the most gory. The uncle’s jaw is basically ripped from his face by the steering wheel. Brandon revels in his murder and paints his symbol on the ground.
When Brandon comes home that night, his parents have been worrying about where he is. When Brandon acts suspicious, his father investigates why Brandon was trying to hide his shirt. When he sees that it has blood on it, he connects the dots and determines that Brandon killed his brother in law.
The father take Brandon out on a hunting trip and tries to kill Brandon unsuccessfully. Brandon promptly uses his laser eyes to blow a hole through his father’s head.
His mother finally realizes how dangerous her son is and calls the cops. Brandon toys with his mom by flying through the house and destroying it while she is in it. When the cops arrive, they are immediately dispatched by Brandon.
Brandon’s mother then trys to trick Brandon and kill him with a piece of the ship he came in, but Brandon stops her and the kills her by flying into the stratosphere and dropping her to the earth.
The moral to the story is that wasps are assholes.
Who Would Like Brightburn?
Anyone that is a fan/tired of the superhero genre might get a kick out of this film. Horror fans will like the surprising amount of gore.
We watched Tetsuo, The Iron Man (鉄男 ＴＥＴＳＵＯ) on Shudder and jesus christ; I don’t have any words.
Tetsuo is a David Lynchian / Cronenberg-esque film that aims to disturb with intensity and extreme imagery. Everything about this movie is turned up to the max. It’s full of intense mutilation, body horror, and sexually provocative fetishization and imagery. I wouldn’t go so far as to call Tetsuo, The Iron Man a good movie, as I would call it an important movie.
With that being said, I found this unpleasant to watch in just about every way. There isn’t much dialog, the story is paper thin, and the intent is unclear. It is clear that there is a decent amount of symbolism here, or at least that people will reason that this movie is symbolistic. For me, it’s hard to tell whether writer/director Shin’ya Tsukamoto intended for the obvious symbolism, or whether he was banking on you wanting to read too far into it. It seems equally plausible to me that Mr. Tsukamoto has some crazy kinks, and needed to work them out on screen.
Tetsuo, The Iron Man Trailer
https://youtu.be/uROMTzJsfOI
If you watch the trailer, you kinda watched the whole movie but you’ll miss all the dicks.
Tetsuo, The Iron Man Synopsis
Tetsuo is not an easily understood or interpreted movie, and it’s not supposed to be. The synopsis of Tetsuo seems to be that a man known as the “metal fetishist” (Shin’ya Tsukamoto) is obsessed with pushing pieces of metal into his body, which gives him some sort of high. At the start of the movie, he is getting off while pushing scrap metal into his legs and ends up running into the road in some metal obsessed stupor. At this point, a man credited as “salaryman” (Tomorô Taguchi) hits the fetishist while driving in his car with his wife or girlfriend (Kei Fujiwara).
The story transitions to following the salaryman, who begins to notice metal objects quickly taking over his body, which is alarming to him – shocking, I know. From here it spins out of control, and the salaryman begins his rage and sex-fueled journey into metal oblivion.
Tetsuo, The Iron Man Score
4/10
I feel that it is important to say that this is an important film.
For More Boundary Pushing, Check Out Our Review of The House That Jack Built!
Tetsuo felt heavily inspired by Eraserhead and also, meth. That is to say, I vividly remember the feeling I got when I saw David Lynch’s Eraserhead, and Tetsuo gave me many of the same feelings. It was also frantic from beginning to end, feeling almost like an hour long music video, constantly moving and changing frame – always moving to the next strange medium.
This was shot in black and white on 16mm film with tremendous amount of intense lighting and with lots of stop motion animation and special effects.
Troubles Shooting
Interestingly, this film was just as hard to shoot as it was to watch – most of it was shot in Kei Fukiwara’s (cast as “woman”) apartment. By the end of the production most of the crew had quit or been replaced because the conditions were so atrocious.
Taguchi, who played salaryman, was one of the only crew members who didn’t live on set and he was quoted as saying:
“It was very tough so I quickly sensed that if you would stay with them all the time, you would inevitably get the urge to escape. So I figured that if I could keep some distance, I would be able to last much longer and keep a good relationship with them. It’s true that almost every day I went there another crew member would have left. One day I arrived at the house and the lighting crew had gone, so I had to do the lighting for Tsukamoto’s scenes myself. Toward the end, only the actors were still around. Nearly the entire crew had given up and left by then.”
-Tomorô Taguchi
Director Tsukamoto said years after shooting that he had contemplated burning the negatives of the film because it has been such a bad experience.
Like Disturbing? We Got You Covered With Our Review of Susperia(2018)!
This movie feels a lot like a music video partially because of the extremely grating soundtrack of industrial and metallic clanging that is constantly being piped into your ears. Strangely, near the start and end of Tetsuo, The Iron Man, there is a chill sort of jazzy number that is laid over some strange imagery. The jazzy number, ironically, is the one that’s totally out of place, and the industrial seems to fit right in with the theme.
Themes in Tetsuo The Iron Man
Rage and sexual frustration seem to be the mainstays and the feeling behind Tetsuo. Rage as a transformative force in the human body, and the desire to self destruct while watching the world burn with you is something that, I think, many can relate to.
One of the core components of Tetsuo, The Iron Man is the symbolism with technology taking us over. As we give ourselves to to technology we begin to lose control and morph with it into something wholly disgusting and non-human. Technology takes away the human aspects of us, like love and compassion and leaves only rage and sexual desire mixed with frustration. Pretty spot on for 1989.
Ultimately, Tetsuo, The Iron Man is a part of film history and a cult classic. While it didn’t do anything that hadn’t been done before, the energy behind it is undeniable and intense. Everyone will have an opinion about this movie, and they will want to talk about it. For that reason, I enjoy the idea of Tetsuo and not so much the experience.
This is not a movie that anyone I know will enjoy because it’s enjoyable. It’s good because it’s important, it’s good because of what it allowed to come after it. If that sounds like a checkbox that you are looking to fill, give this movie a go, if not, maybe watch something more breezy.
For Something More Breezy, Check Out Our Review of Happy Death Day 2 U!
Since there aren’t any new releases out this week, this week we are covering another listener suggestion. This one comes from Anthony F. in San Antonio, TX.
“I have listened to almost every episode. I dig what you guys are doing. keep up the good work.I would love to hear your take on Kuso, it’s available on shudder.
It is one of the most fucked up films I have ever seen.”
Anthony K.
We watched Kuso, and as advertised, it is the most fucked up movie I have ever seen. And I’ve seen The Peanut Butter Solution!
It is a Shudder exclusive. So if you are interested in seeing it after hearing our review, feel free to subscribe to shudder using the code HMT at checkout to get a 30 day free trial.
I found it surprisingly hard to give a summary of this film. Even on IMDB, it only has the following plot summary:
Events unfold after a devastating earthquake in Los Angeles.
IMDB
Kuso is a film directed by Flying Lotus, which is the stage name for Steven Ellison. It consists of 4 of what I hesitate to call, “Storylines” that are written by Steven, Zack Fox, and creator of salad fingers, David Firth. The plots of these vignettes are secondary to the surreal and disturbing imagery and production design of the whole affair. There is only one piece of trivia listed in IMDB for this movie:
Received a large number of walkouts at Sundance and was deemed in an article written for Verge as “The grossest movie ever made.
IMDB
The Four Story Lines in Kuso
Royal: a young couple with some interesting Kinks
Mr. Quiggle: an Up-and-coming female rapper “B” goes to an alternative medicine doctor
Smear: a young man has digestive issues
Sock: a woman in search of her lost child
But really replace all those story lines with poop and that’s probably a better description. I provide a more in-depth description of these story lines in the spoiler section further below.
The First Movie We Ever Reviewed – The Devils’ Doorway
This is a type of movie that is almost impossible to review. If you say it’s terrible, you aren’t hip enough, if you say it’s great, you’re a pretentious douche bag. It’s the type of film that you would find playing on a loop in a modern art museum. alternatively, it’s like a David Lynch student film project, but weaponized.
I’ll just say that I didn’t enjoy it, but I think that is kind of the point. This film is truly one of the most consistently, visceral disgusting films I have ever seen. Most of the film just wallows in its own filth, but there are some moments that stand out. First being the Mr. Quiggle story line featuring Zack Fox playing Manuel who is treated by Doctor Clinton, played by George Clinton. The second being the finale, which somehow ups the ante of grossness after an hour and a half of pure grossness.
Score for Kuso
2/10
Watch Kuso on Shudder
Use the code “HMT” at checkout to get a 30-day free trial
The opening scene is frenetic and features a spoken word jazz, and throws you off kilter immediately.
https://youtu.be/yodbDPX0DO0
Buckle up, because this is nothing compared to what is to come (literally, sometimes). I’ll break down the four main story lines below.
Royal
Royal starts out with Kenneth listening through his paper thin walls to his neighbors having sex. His girlfriend Missy comes in and she chokes him with a rope as he masturbates. She says her hands are growing and soon “She won’t need a rope”.
The most striking thing about this is the disgusting makeup and production design.
All of the production design looks like it was done by the show Hoarders. The pillow that Ken is laying on looks like it was a replacement for the notorious cumbox of reddit fame.
In terms of makeup, both of them have the most vile boils and sores all over their mouths and faces. This is a recurring thing, but the boils are heavily featured in Royal.
Also, post ejaculation, Kenneth turns and smears his jizz all over Missy’s face. So there’s that.
Later in the film, when we return to the couple, it’s revealed that one of Missy’s boils is sentient and talks. After reasoning with Kenneth, the boil fellates Kenny boy and Ken bequeaths it with the name “Royal”.
Smear
Smear features a young man named Charlie that lives with his single mother. His mother serves him the weirdest rotten looking soup I’ve ever seen. It reminded me a lot about the Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared series on YouTube.
https://youtu.be/9C_HReR_McQ
Charlie and his mother reminisce and worship (?) his dead father.
As Charlie is leaving, a line of black men show up to run a train on his mother.
At school, Charlie has some bowel problems (I would too) and proceeds to shit his pants.
Humiliated, he runs to the woods where he encounters a giant prolapsed anus coming out of the ground with a tongue coming out of it.
He does the only logical thing and picks up some shit and rubs it on the tongue. The tongue slowly, over repeated visits of shit rubbing, turns into the likeness of Charlies father. Then the last time that Charlie smears the anus face, he is electrocuted with a green lightning bolt.
Mr Quiggle
Mr. Quiggle features a two story lines of its own.
B
An up and coming female rapper “B” is a slave to two interdimensional creatures named Kazo and Mazu. She is visited via her toilet by an ex-boyfriend Phil (played by Tim Heidecker). Phil describes raping her while she was passed out, and B finds out that she is pregnant. After going to the doctor to get an abortion and only given a hanger, her fetus is aborted with Mortal Kombat sound effects by her captors. They all laugh.
Manuel and Mr. Quiggle
While in the waiting room at the doctors office, B meets Manuel who is there to get over his fear of breasts. The film then follows Manuel as he visits with Dr. Clinton (played by George Clinton).
Manuel has to then serenade Dr. Clinton’s anus to entice out a parasite named Mr. Quiggle. Mr. Quiggle looks like a giant crawfish.
He then rips off a tentacle and drinks the pussy liquid that comes out of Mr. Quiggle.
When he awakes, Manuel is cured of his fear of breasts.
Sock
Sock is the most Avant-garde of all the shorts and features an Asian woman searching for her lost baby who is “trapped behind the concrete”. She states that she must eat her (the baby girl) to survive.
A disembodied voice coaxes her to go down a hallway where she falls down a hole into hell. She eventually crawls through some intestinal tunnels and her head pokes out of a prolapsed anus in the woods.
Miscellaneous notes I made while watching Kuso
This is going to be a long movie
Sound effects heavily featured:
Farts
Cartoon SFX
Mortal Kombat
This is a movie where you can skip to any point and trip across a disturbing image
What amazes me about movies like this is that… all this stuff takes as much or more preparation. Someone has to prep that fake poop.
The Ruins is the ultimate 2000’s horror movie – way more budget than it’s worth, and interesting enough premise, and tons of schlock. It also stars the most notable nobody of any film ever, Jena Malone, whom you have definitely seen in something but probably can’t remember what. This is the most notable movie by director Carter Smith. I went into The Ruins movie remembering people calling it ‘distasteful,’ and I came out of it rather delighted.
The Ruins Movie Synopsis
The Ruins focuses on a group of five spring breakers in Mexico who wander off the beaten path and find more than they bargained for. The group gets wind of a hidden and archeological site where some Mayan ruins have recently been uncovered. They hitch a ride to a remote section of the forest and do everything in their power to find what was supposed to be kept hidden.
A group of locals has gone to considerable effort to keep the path to the ruins hidden, but our bumbling crew of 20 somethings managed to stumble their way onto a giant Mayan ruin, WAY out in the open, which is covered intermittently with vines. Upon finding the ruins, the group is confronted by a band of locals with guns who chase the group onto the pyramid after one of them touches some of the plants that are growing on it.
The group tries to find the previous party whom they came to unite with, and are met with a mystery along with a few human remains. As time goes on, they start to realize that their GROWING desire to LEAF may not be as FRUITFUL as the new ROOTS that they have laid down on their pyramid DIGS.
If that series of puns seemed stupid to you, good, that should prepare you for this hokey thrillfest.
The premise behind The Ruins is as 2000’s era as you can get. Good looking party kids meet up with a foreigner from Munich, Mathias, (Joe Anderson) and decide to head way off the resort they are partying at to see if they can find Mathias’ brother. His brother is doing archaeology work and has found previously undiscovered Mayan ruins in the jungle.
I don’t understand how this site has remained undiscovered because it’s not covered up by the jungle at all. Given the fact that Google had maps in full swing by 2008, and government agencies had satellites capable of seeing such ruins from space for many years before this movie, it’s unlikely that this site would remain hidden from anyone. I guess that’s beside the point.
The locals understand and respect the site and how dangerous it is, because they guard it at all times, trying to keep the dangers of the site from infecting the rest of the world.
Duh, what’s this pyramid? Let’s touch it!
When our party of kids, lead by the most prolific actress you’ve never heard of Jena Malone (who plays Amy) runs into the ruins, they also have a run-in with the locals.
The locals are extremely agitated and armed with bows, and guns, which they use to imprison the group of kids on the temple. They shoot the throwaway sixth member of the party Dimitri (Dimitri Baveas) after he touches the plants that surround the temple.
A key feature of the temple is at the top there is what amounts to a hole to the center of the structure. On this hole, there is a makeshift pulley system to drop people and gear down into the structure. Presumably, this pulley system was set up and left by Mathias’ brother.
The Hole at the top of the ruins.
From within the temple the party, now trapped atop the structure can hear a cell phone of the previous party ringing. This is intriguing to the party because, of course, their cell phones don’t have service out here.
One by one, the party succumbs to injuries and accidents while trying to either escape the temple outright or retrieve the phone within.
Mathias Is injured while heading down into the temple, and he ends up breaking his back.
Stacy (Laura Ramsey) is sent down into the temple to try and help Mathias and ends up getting a pretty severe cut on her leg from a sharp object. Amy follows her to help try to get Mathias onto the makeshift gurney and hears the cell phone ring while she is down there.
At some point, the group tries to reason with the locals who are guarding them on the temple, and our main hunk, Jonathan Tucker (mah name Jeff) throws a chunk of vine at a local child. The vine hits the child in the chest and the locals quickly execute the boy. This does a great job at ramping up the stakes.
Won’t be needing these anymore. Mathias had his legs amputated because of plant infection.
After dilly-dallying forever, they head back down into the temple to find the cell phone, and Amy ends up in a small room covered in vines. She is looking at the flowers all over the place, and suddenly, the flowers scream at her in a way that, if flowers could scream, they would scream like this. Turns out, the vines can mimic sounds they hear to lure people into them.
The Ruins culminates with the party being encroached upon by these carnivorous mindfuck vines, and Laura (Laura Ramsey) has some interesting interactions with the vines growing inside her.
Laura with that, “Come hither…” stare.
Ultimately, Amy ends up being the only one to survive and get away.
While it’s not the best movie, The Ruins is fun enough, and it’s not bad, making it a totally average horror movie in my book.
Final Recommendations, “Who Would Like This Movie?”
If you are in the mood for some interesting body horror and some laughs at a movie that takes itself way too seriously, this is it. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible, and boy, it’s ironically funny.
Evil Dead (2013) Review
May 01, 2019
In our Evil Dead (2013) Review we talk about how it is a great example of a horror remake done right. The bones of the original are still there, but Fede Alvarez creates something unique with this new film. While the original The Evil Deadis essentially a student film with a subversive streak, the 2013Evil Dead is a high budget mainstream Hollywood horror movie with the gore turned up to 11.
Evil Dead 2013 Synopsis
The film is about a group of five friends that unwittingly summon ancient demons to a remote cabin in the woods that possess them one by one. Mia, a heroin addict played by Jane Levy, is the reason for the five of them being at her parents’ cabin in the woods. With the help of her brother David ( Shiloh Fernandez), his hotty girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore), the brainy Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci), and Nurse Olivia (Jessica Lucas), Mia is attempting to quit drugs cold turkey. This comes after a series of failed attempts and a particularly bad overdose where she actually died and had to be revived.
What none of them realized is that while the cabin was abandoned by David and Mia’s parents, it was broken into and used for a demonic exorcism. Left behind was an ancient Book of the Dead that has been wrapped in a garbage bag and barbed wire. Despite the safeguards and very obvious warnings written in blood, Eric, opens the book and proceeds to read an incantation that releases a powerful force of evil.
This evil first attacks and possesses Mia in the woods, and then one by one infects the other cabin dwellers, until only one remains…
https://youtu.be/lWG_w5w8ZLs
Evil Dead Remake Review
Evil Dead is a remake of Sam Raimi’s 1981 The Evil Dead. It keeps some of the building blocks from the original, like the Necronomicon, the cabin in the woods, and the five friends, but this is definitely its own movie. The tone is dramatically different. While The Evil Dead is essentially a student film with a subversive streak, the 2013 Evil Dead is a high budget mainstream Hollywood horror movie with torture porn influences.
This movie, to me is an example of a remake done right. This isn’t just an attempt to rehash a script with a higher budget. This remake really does create something different from the same ingredients of the original. The story and visual elements that are taken from the original are respectfully handled and well integrated into the new version. I found the storyline of Mia attempting to quit heroin to add another dimension to the plot. It helps to define the characters through their relationship to Mia, and give the whole party a motive for being there.
The violence and blood is turned up to 11 in this movie and veers more towards the torture porn of the early 2000s. While there were some moments that were very disturbing, I thought it was artfully done and didn’t ever cross the line into tasteless or exploitative.
Overall, I really liked this movie, and I think it stands alone as a great horror movie
The film opens strong with what we assume is a “final girl” being chased through the woods by hillbillies. They capture her and take her to a basement full of hanging dead cats.
Countless felines take their own lives each year…
We find out that among her captors is her father that reveals that she has killed her own mother. An old woman reads out of a ancient tome that the only way to save the young girls’ soul is to burn her alive right there. So they do.
It’s dark early in this film.
We are then introduced to the main characters, which are as follows:
David (Dudebro)
Eric (Nerd)
Natalie (Hottie)
Olivia (Nurse)
Mia (Junkie/David’s sister)
The reason that they all go to the cabin is to help Mia quit opiates cold turkey. Mia’s drug addiction serves several purposes in this movie:
It allows for quick character development by showing each of their relationships and attitudes towards Mia and each other
It gives a good reason for them to all be in a super secluded cabin all together.
It gives Mia’s friends an excuse to themselves why Mia would be acting crazy.
When they arrive at the cabin, Mia notices a rank smell in the cabin, but the others don’t seem to notice or care. Soon they do investigate and find the scene of the burning at the beginning of the movie. Dead cats and all.
There among the swinging dead cats, they find a book wrapped in a garbage bag and barbed wire. Erik, curious about the obviously dangerous item, unwraps the barbed wire and bag to reveal a book bound with human skin. The Necronomicon.
The book of the dead
Despite many obvious and ominous warnings from the text and notes in the book (writen in blood), Erik proceeds to read from the text and unwittingly releases an evil power into the world.
Obvious red flag
The evil presence attacks Mia in the woods by binding her limbs with vines and tree branches and raping her, it’s easier to show than describe:
https://youtu.be/s6lrBldtwVk
Mia comes back to the cabin and proceeds to vomit an obscene amount of blood onto Olivia.
Red flag number 2
This in effect infects Olivia who goes on to attack Eric after mutilating herself.
Natalie is attacked by Mia who has been shoved down into the cellar to protect the others. During the attack, Mia shows how crazy she is with this scene:
https://youtu.be/FHXzsBsOVjY
Evil Dead 2013 box cutter scene.
Each Cabin occupant is brutally attacked and infected in turn until only David is left. He saves his sister by burying her alive and then reviving her.
The reunion is short-lived because they are both attacked by Erik and Natalie.
The final scenes end in a blood bath. A literal rain shower of blood.
In the end, Mia gets away by wielding a chainsaw and cutting Natalie down the middle.
Listen to the podcast for more commentary.
Who would like Evil Dead
This film isn’t necesarily for all the fans of the original. This one is notably less goofy fun than the original trilogy. But if you are a fan of Modern Gore that has an actual story line with characters, you should enjoy this movie.
If you like horror movies set in the woods, check out our review on The Ritual available on Netflix.
This week we saw The Curse of La Llorona and wow, what a disappointment. This is the only ghost who is 100% kept out by shutting the door or window. This movie could have been so much more than it ended up being, which is just another low effort, jumpscare factory. Even the jumpscares were boring and predictable. The Curse of La Llorona just wants to take your money and give you next to nothing for entertainment value. I don’t know a lot about Mexican folklore, but I don’t think that this does the actual story any justice at all.
The Curse of La Llorona Synopsis
The Curse of La Llorona is directed by Michael Chaves and follows a family of three who recently lost their father, who was a cop. Anna (Linda Cardellini) is the mom of Chris (Roman Christou) and Samantha (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen). Anna is also a social worker who works for CPS in LA, and at some point, early in the movie, she receives a tip that one of her cases is being handed over to her co-worker because she is too overburdened by single-motherhood. She fights her boss for the right to check on Patricia Alvarez (Patricia Velasquez) and ends up with more than she bargained for.
The Curse of La Llorona Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojuqj8_wWo8
Through a series of boring events, Anna releases Patricia’s kids from a closet that was protecting them and the kids are gobbled up by a deadish bride called La Llorona.
Patricia seeks vengeance on her caseworker, Anna, and prays to La Llorona that she take Anna’s kids and return her own.
What follows is a predictable and slow jumpscare movie that failed to make me care about anyone at all. I would have been just as happy had La Llorona eaten the whole family.
After doing some reading and checking out the Wikipedia article, I have compiled the basics of the La Llorona Legend.
The Curse of La Llorona starts in 1673. The folklore for the real story begins with a beautiful but poor woman named Maria. Maria catches the eye of a wealthy man who decides to marry her, much to her chagrin, and they build a life together, complete with two kids. As the man works in many faraway lands, he frequently leaves for work, and each time that he does, he becomes less interested in Maria.
Finally, one day he returns with a new wife and Maria is so distraught that she takes her kids down to the river and drowns them to spite her husband. She realizes what she did, and drowns herself. Upon trying to get into heaven, she is told that she can’t get in until she finds her children and brings them with her.
La Llorona is the ghost or spirit of this sad, crying woman, who hangs out near rivers looking for her kids. She frequently mistakes other kids for her own and drowns them upon realizing that they aren’t the right ones, which seems extreme.
This is a pretty compelling folk tale that has been passed down through many generations of Mexicans, to the point that I have found lots of interesting comments about how people’s grandmothers would warn them about going near the water for fear of being caught by La Llorona.
The Second Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGUiHfX1qpk
This is a great way to get your kids to respect the power of rivers and bodies of water, by scaring the shit out of them.
Among her wails, she is noted as crying “¡Ay, mi hijos!” which translates to “Oh, my children!” or “Oh, my sons!” If you hear her crying, you are probably marked for death.
The Curse of La Llorona Spoilers
The movie starts in earnest in the 1970s in LA.
Anna is a caseworker and takes it upon herself to visit Patricia Alvarez, who has her kid’s locked in a closet with a bunch of eyes drawn on the door. She has Patricia’s kids taken into protective custody, and Patricia is fit-to-be-tied.
While the kids are in some sort of CPS prison for kids, they are haunted by La Llorona and are low-speed-chased down a series of corridors by the ghost. This was a fairly effective spook within the movie.
Once Patricia’s kids are killed, Anna is called to the “scene of the crime,” which is where the bodies were found, under an overpass in the middle of the night. Because she is a single mother, Anna brings her kids and does the most 70’s thing in this movie – leaves them in the car alone with the doors locked.
Chris, Anna’s son, doesn’t follow instructions well, and ventures out into the night to view the dead bodies. Of course, he meets La Llorona, and she puts hands on him. The car scene, where the kids are holed up in the car with the ghost trying to get in really works well.
The rest of the movie is a big mash-up of slow pacing and predictable jumpscares that culminates in a showdown between a local shaman and La Llorona in the families house.
Part of The Conjuring Universe
The Curse of La Llorona is part of the conjuring universe to the extent that:
Let’s say we are watching a movie about the world’s greatest detective who solves street level crime cases and whose parents were brutally murdered in front of him when he was a child in a back alley after a show. The whole movie is about this detective who likes to fight crime. We see him build a case; we watch him fight with thugs.
For More Conjuring Check Out Our Review of The Nun
Then, about 66% of the way through the movie his butler comes into the room where he is reading a newspaper and tells him he needs to remember to eat while handing him a sandwich. As the detective puts down the newspaper to accept the sandwich, the audience gets to see a headline in the newspaper, which reads, “Superman saves Metropolis once again!”
Then our detective goes on to save the day, and we never see or hear about Superman again. That’s the extent that The Curse of La Llorona is in the Conjuring universe. They mention an evil doll who haunts people one time.
Final Recommendations, “who would like this”
If you want to make out with someone in a darkened theater and not care about what’s happening, The Curse of La Llorona is a great movie for you. If you love the Conjuring universe so much that one, single mention of Annabelle is enough to get you to sploosh in your pants, this is 100% your movie.
The Work of Anthony Fountain – HMT Fan
In the podcast we talked a bit about Anthony Fountain and his insane talent with horror makeup. I’m always impressed anytime someone is able to make a living doing what they love – and how could you not love turning people into zombies at a theme park and working on movies/music videos?
Check out some of Anthony’s work with my assumed captions below!
A sexy gunshot victim A sexy curious zombie
https://youtu.be/-RGQqOLlHcQ
Here’s a video where Anthony did all the makeup, it’s a pretty sweet song too.
The Wind Review
Apr 17, 2019
The Wind is a Western Horror movie that is a spiritual successor to The Witch. The harsh landscape and interpersonal paranoia are in the forefront of this tense thriller. We review the film and attempt to unravel the non-linear narrative to make sense of what actually happened to the four main characters.
The Wind Synopsis
The Wind is the first feature film for both the writer Teresa Sutherland, and the director Emma Tammi. It is a Western Horror film that tells the story of two young families living on harsh untamed Western frontier of the US in the 1800’s. Caitlin Gerard plays Lizzy Macklin, who with her husband Isaac (Ashley Zukerman) own a homestead on the windy, dusty plains. They are soon joined by a newlywed couple, Emma and Gideon Harper played by Julia Goldani Telles and Dylan McTee. The Harpers are out of their depth trying to survive in the unforgiving environment. Emma soon starts to show cracks in her psyche, and is driven mad by the pressure. When Lizzy starts to also experience some of the visions and unexplained phenomena described by Emma, she starts to question whether she is also going mad, or is it an actual evil presence seeking to destroy them?
https://youtu.be/WVZBNT0Ap-A
The Wind – Official Trailer
Review of The Wind
Comparisons to the Witch are inevitable and apt with this movie. The harsh environment and the pressures of surviving off the land are basically a main character in both films. The trailer also makes comparisons to The Babadook. Being two of my favorite horror movies of the last decade, those comparisons made me set my expectations fairly high. The good news is that this film, for the most part, met my expectations.
It is a simple story injected with convincing human drama and told artfully through a non-linear narrative that keeps you engaged and on the edge. Coming from a first time feature film screenwriter and director, it’s actually really impressive how all the moving parts worked so well. You’re fed bits of information piece by piece, which lets you assemble the puzzle of the story’s timeline. Just enough information is withheld throughout to make you question whether the cause of all the trouble is simply paranoia and madness, or if it is an actual demon. The tone is set early with the first scene featuring a dead baby, and the menace is maintained throughout the whole movie.
The score and sound design are excellent, and scared me as much as the visuals did.
The film relies on inter-relationship drama, and psychological horror more than jump scares, but those are represented as well. It never quite reaches the greatness of The Witch, but the same thematic elements are represented very similarly here.
Score for The Wind Movie
Score 8/10
The Wind Horror Movie Spoilers
Click to Expand for Spoilers
Chronology of The Wind
Unraveling the timeline of the film is one of the engaging aspects of the film. Below I have to the best of my abilities tried to lay out the chronology of events in The Wind.
The first scene chronologically would actually be Lizzy being “haunted” alone in her own cabin. The wind knocks at door, blows out the candles, and generally terrifies Lizzy. All the while she is pregnant.
Next, Lizzy is comforted by Isaac and she gives the creepy eye to the camera.
Lizzy gives the creepy eye.
Isaac sees that Lizzy has been reading the demons of the prairie book and burns it.
Demons of the Prairie Pamphlet
Isaac gives a shotgun to Lizzy to shoot demons
Macklins lose baby Samuel and bury him with the Bible.
The Harpers move in and the four of them all have dinner together. It is readily apparent that Emma and Gideon Harper do not get along well as newlyweds.
Isaac and Gideon leave, Lizzy forgets that she shot Emma. Isaac off to get supplies and Gideon is going to sell and mve back home
As Lizzy is doing laundry alone, there is a wolf attack. When she comes out from the house, she finds a dead goat.
The next morning, Lizzy finds the goat alive and promptly shoots the goat. This kills the goat.
Lizzy goes over to Harpers, and a bunch of paranormal stuff happens. She reads Emma’s diary that says that Emma’s baby is Isaac’s. Lizzy immediately burns the pages and drugs herself to sleep with ether.
The Reverend arrives, and stays at the Harper’s empty house at Lizzy’s behest. The Reverend returns that night distraught, but is revealed to be a demon reverend. Lizzy is thrown around and haunted by the reverend and Emma.
The next morning, she finds the dead reverend and her bible that she buried with Isaac is waiting for her at her door.
Lizzy goes outside, puts the shotgun in her mouth, but then Isaac returns before she commits suicide.
That night, Lizzy is tormented again as she is tied to the bed by Isaac. She unties herself and is thrown around the room and accidentally stabs herself with some scissors.
Lizzy stabs Isaac.
Is Lizzy Insane or Is She Actually Tormented by Demons?
From the interviews with the writer, it is obvious that the reason that she wrote the script was because of the stories that she was told about women going crazy from seclusion out on the plains in the old west.
https://youtu.be/udLaE35CyDA
Interviews with the director, writer, and actors of The Wind
The actress that plays Lizzy also mentions that she plays a woman that goes insane.
So it is relatively safe to say that the hauntings and demons that we see are merely hallucinations.
Final Recommendations for The Wind (2019)
I highly recommend this film. It’s a very well constructed film with a unique setting and plot. The acting is really good, and the sound design is exceptional. If you like psychological horror and crave more films like The Witch, this is worth a watch.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 39: The Wind Review
https://youtu.be/i69vBPBXvVY
Extras
https://youtu.be/PUzaT87etHQ
The Adam Carolla David Allen Grier Feud
https://youtu.be/WP5jQRxLpy4
Adam Carolla hanging up on Ann Coulter
Pet Sematary (2019) Review
Apr 10, 2019
With Pet Sematary 2019 I was bracing for a bad movie because I enjoy the original so much, although much of that is nostalgia. Even though I was guarded, Pet Sematary proved itself to be a stellar remake that I would venture to say was better than the original.
This remake used the first movie as a foundation to build a familiar but different enough movie that had lots of call backs, and was, in many ways, a response to the original.
Pet Sematary (2019) Synopsis
Pet Sematary tells the story of the young Creed family. Louis Creed (Jason Clarke) is a doctor moving to the small town of Ludlow, Maine with his wife Rachel (Amy Seimetz) and his two children Ellie and Gage. After following a procession of spooky children through the forest, Ellie meets the kindly old man Jud Crandall (John Lithgow) who is their neighbor. Jud warns Ellie and her mother against the Pet Sematary
The crux of the plot, however, relies on what lay beyond yonder Pet Sematary. A Mic Mac Indian burial ground holds the secret to resurrection.
https://youtu.be/zK0LNzU2TQI
The 2nd Pet Sematary 2019 Trailer
After the loss of a family cat “Church” Jud takes Louis to the Indian burial ground which has the unique feature where whatever is buried there will come back to life while the feline resurrection saves Elle the grief of losing her favorite cat. The knowledge of a power to restore life is a Pandora’s box that only results in misery for the Creed family.
Pet Sematary (2019) Review
This movie surprised me in a lot of welcome ways. It was similar enough to the original that it felt like you knew what was coming, which would be boring. The great part of this remake, it twisted and moved around your expectations to surprise and titillate. There were moments where you were sure you knew what was going to happen, the setup was there, and then nothing – a deep breath. Other places where You expected A and got Q – who expects Q?
If you want the bare bones of how Pet Sematary spoilers play out, I would suggest listening to the episode of HMT right before this one, where we talk about the original Pet Sematary from 1989. The spoilers section on the remake is mostly going to be talking about how the remake differs from the original, things that it did well, and where it could have been better.
Pet Sematary begins with Ellie finding the pet sematary because she saw a procession of children walking on her property down the path. In the original movie, Jud brings the family to the cemetery, which kicks off the whole downward spiral. This is relevant because it shifts a bit of the blame from kind, old Jud, to no one in particular.
This is kind of like, “Han shot first” in Star Wars. In the original cut, Han shoots Greedo in Mos Eisley, implying that he is a bad man, a murderer. In the late 90’s re-release, they changed it, so Greedo shot and missed Han, implying Han was a good guy all along. This is a fundamental character shift, and while it’s not as weighty in the Pet Sematary remake, I think it’s at least relevant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKxOEUhRMt0
A great side-by-side comparison of the Han shot first debacle.
Jud takes to Ellie and begins to form a relationship with her, the kind, old man has a soft heart for the little girl next door – it’s sweet. John Lithgow does the role of Jud proud, which means that I have to eat my words from our review of the original Pet Sematary.
We Learn Much More About Zelda
The Zelda sub-plot in this is much better in every way. Zelda was the older sister of Rachel, and she had some kind of horrible degenerative disease, and Rachel has lots of flashbacks to being a little kid who had to take care of her terrifying older sister. To make matters worse, in this movie, Zelda resents Rachel for not having a degenerative disease and seems to wish her harm. The scares surrounding Zelda are probably the most intense scares in this movie, and while many of them are jump-scare oriented, the tension is built quite well.
https://youtu.be/JxWMMul5-i4
Zelda in the original Pet Sematary wasn’t as fleshed out
Zelda’s death in this Pet Sematary is truly upsetting, and something that would haunt a kid forever. The flashback that Rachel experiences is her being left home alone with Zelda again, and being responsible for feeding her dinner. Because she doesn’t want to see Zelda, she places the food in the dumbwaiter and sends it up to Zelda automatically. You can hear Zelda approach the broken down dumbwaiter, and soon you hear her fall into the shaft. This is a shocking moment, and it’s well executed.
Victor Pascow is Greatly Diminished
The Victor Pascow sub-plot was vastly different as well in that there was much less of Victor. This worked well because frankly, Victor was a distraction. In this movie, Victor basically introduces Louis to the Indian burial grounds.
https://youtu.be/NV_Tape29pY
The most noteworthy Victor Pascow scene in the original
The Big Differences Made a Big Difference
This remake made a lot of big changes to the storyline, and it worked for the most part. Jud has a much more compelling reason to bring Church back to life in this Pet Sematary, which is his relationship with Ellie. He has a soft spot for the little girl and doesn’t want her to miss her beloved cat. In the original, he basically gets drunk and says, “Check out this shit!”
The most compelling difference between the two – this one has good acting. Everyone was a person who acted as they should and weren’t irritating or distracting.
Check Out Our Blog Discussing the Pet Sematary Original Vs. Remake
One big twist in this Pet Sematary is that Gage isn’t the child they lose – it’s Ellie. I thought that this worked well given the friendship between Jud and Ellie, and it provided a super fresh take for the audience who patently expected Gage to die during that memorable scene.
Ellie comes back to life, and Louis decides to bathe her because of how gross she is, having been buried twice. As he is bathing her the staples from her stint being prepped for burial the first time are present at the back of her head. Ellie behaves erratically, dancing to the Nutcracker Sweet. Eventually she goes too far an does what the undead tend to do in horror movies.
Pet Sematary (2019) is a response to the original Pet Sematary, and it’s made better by watching the original first.
Pet Sematary (1989) Review
Apr 03, 2019
With the Pet Sematary remake right around the corner, we decided it best to give the original 1989 Pet Sematary the full Horror Movie Talk treatment. Pet Sematary is not really about a pet cemetery, but is really about what lies beyond…the pet cemetery. The only horror trope more predictable than a Stephen King story set in Maine, that’s right, an Indian burial ground. And as with every movie with an Indian burial ground, the moral to the story is: don’t mess with an Indian burial ground. The movie, directed by Mary Lambert and written by Stephen King is based on his novel of the same title.
Pet Sematary 1989 Synopsis
Pet Sematary tells the story of the young Creed family. Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) is a doctor moving to the small town of Ludlow, Maine with his wife Rachel (Denise Crosby) and his two children Elle and Gage. Immediately they meet the kindly old man Jud Crandall (Fred Gwynne) who introduces them to the features of the property. Mainly a busy road filled exclusively with speeding 18 wheelers, and a spooky forest where people bury their dead pets that were killed by those same 18 wheelers.
The crux of the plot however relies on what lay beyond yonder Pet Sematary. A Mic Mac Indian burial ground holds the secret to resurrection.
After the loss of a family cat “Church”, Jud takes Louis to the Indian burial ground which has the unique feature where whatever is buried there will come back to life. While the feline resurrection saves Elle the grief of losing her favorite cat. The knowledge of a power to restore life is a Pandora’s box that only results in misery for the Creed family.
Original Pet Sematary Trailer
https://youtu.be/JMao8sg4DPA
Pet Sematary (1989) Trailer #1
Review of Pet Sematary (1989)
Pet Sematary deals really well with the concepts of loss and the folly of trying to cheat death. It’s surprising how much is packed into this movie and how well it still delivers. It deals with the loss of a pet and teaching about the afterlife to your children. It deals with protecting your children from physical and psychological trauma. It deals with resentment of caring for people on their deathbed. Ideals with the grief of losing a loved one, and the desire to get them back at any cost. And it does these all really well.
The acting is not particularly good, but the writing makes up for it. The dialogue can have weird asides like those found in Stephen King’s novels, but they are done tastefully and they add to the tone of the film. The script does a really good job of laying out the plot very logically and creating moments of escalation in ways that aren’t always predictable.
The film has equal parts dread, jump scares, and gore. All of which are very effective. The special effects are good, save for the fight with the Gage doll at the end of the film.
You can pretty much surmise from the trailer that at least the cat will get resurrected, But the real turning point for the movie is when Gage Creed is run over by a truck.
Lewis in his distress is fate driven to use the powers of the Mic Mac burial ground to bring his son back to life. He does this regardless of the warnings of Jud.
Gage, like Church the cat, does not come back the same. In the place of this innocent adorable toddler, Gage comes back as an evil killing machine.
His first target is Jud, whom he carves up like butter with his father’s scalpel.
Zombie Gage then kills his own mother before being tracked down by Lewis and put down like a rabid dog.
The imagery and emotional pull of seeing Lewis reunited with Gage is truly the best part of the film. The conflict and grief that Lewis feels when he puts down Gage feels intense.
Deadly Serious Slasher Fan? Check Out Our Child’s Play 1988 Review!
The movie ends with Lewis learning nothing and proceeding to take Rachael, his wife, towards the indian burial ground.
Final Recommendation
Pet Sematary is a must see for any fan of family-based horror. The impact of the film is hightened if you have children of your own, but the themes in the film touch on all levels of death and grief.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 37: Pet Sematary (1989) Review
https://youtu.be/jbPKcNysjg0
Full Transcript of Episode 37 of Horror Movie Talk
This episode of horror movie talk brought to you by Uncle Wally’s Child Coffin warehouse. No one likes to lose a child. Funerals are expensive, and mortuary services often take advantage of people’s pocketbooks at their most vulnerable moment. So skip these expensive funeral homes and come on down to Uncle Wally’s Discount Child Coffin warehouse. We have certified pre owned infant toddler and pre PBS inside coffins priced at less than half of what the other guys charge. You couldn’t save your child, but you can save your money. Come see us at Uncle Wally’s Discount Child Coffins in the funeral district on third mentioned this ad when you buy a coffin and get a ten percent off coupon for your next child coffin purchase. Hello and welcome to horror movie talk and opinionated and accidentally funny horror movie review Show Your schlubby host each week are Bryce Hanson, the cool collected nihilist, and David Day, a cool guy who was always cool. New theatrical releases always get priority, but we also review older horror movies both good and whole Roar Bowl. Um, Samson, I, uh, they So Uncle Wally’s child Coffon warehouse. Man, they are just what a screaming deal I know. Like and and I mean, the one question I have is like they’re certified pre used. Yeah, where? I mean, are they just dumping the kids out? It’s best not to. Aunts ask these questions, and it’s definitely best not hands. I mean, it’s worth the price, though. I mean, you know, you gotta take what you can get. Absolutely coffee, Yeah. All right, everyone, We’ve got a great show today in preparation for the upcoming remake, will be talking about the original nineteen eighty nine pet cemetery. It’s spelled wrong. Oh, boy, I’m excited. This is This is one of my long time like this is one of my formative movies. So pretty excited about this? Yeah, So if you don’t know how horror movie talk episodes work will give a brief review and our score for the movie, we score on a scale of one to ten one being miserable enough to make you angry at the film. Five being completely average that hits all the expectant marks and ten being so good that it transcends genre boundaries after we give our score will get into spoilers and take a deeper dive into what we liked and hated about the movie. And then, later on, we’LL have game time. Full boy gives replaying. Bryce will be doing our around our latest round of rotten tomatoes. Game hall. Nothing. Favourite game. Hey, you know what I was thinking as you were reading the intro and and you’re calling me a cool guy who’s always cool, I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if the fifth year, actually. Cool. Well, that first of all, obviously, it would be nice to be the thing that I am, but ah, I think the fans should think up something for me to be, Ah, thing that is always thing. So all of the all of all of the suggestions should go ahead and shoot those in their to us. I mean, your brother listens to this, so yeah, it could. It could really go south on us. In fact, I’m counting on it. Alright. So before we get into the review, let’s cover some in house business. You can go to our website at horror movie talk dot com, and there you’LL find links to all our social media Facebook, twitter, insta. We even have a subreddit. You can go look at past episodes on and comment. We post new episodes every Wednesday, and we love if you would subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. ITunes, especially you, Khun. Support the podcast by buying a renting any movie or product on Amazon. If you click through the green button in the header of our website, that website again is poor or movie talk dot com. Also sponsor, I guess. Technically, sponsor, right? Yeah, A Shudder has a special offer for listeners of court movie talk. If you use the code H m T. At Checkout, you get a thirty day free trial to Shutter, which is basically the Netflix of horror. It’s a streaming service for horror movies and TV shows. They’ve got lots of exclusives, even some really nice original content, and check that out. You can get it for free for thirty days if you use H empty. Thanks again for last name, Last name. I always say, last name. What is my I don’t know. Like whenever I hear my own voice, I’ve been a I’ve been keen. Intellect, policy. Yeah, I’ve been cannon on weird speech patterns, patterns that I believed to be weird, that are, in reality, normal. So, like when people say I want a prize, that bothers me to no end. They say I won the championship, but it’s one I want it. But they say, want it, It bothers me. Yeah, those kinds of things when they’re like mayonnaise. Okay, I see how fancy you are. Pronouncing the wides called Manny’s. There’s no wire. Oh, in the in the word, say, Manny’s, I’ve been listening to, like some podcasts or just stories featuring, um, Mormon families in true crime stories. Oh, dear God. And there’s like I’m pretty keyed in on the Utah accent. It’s very I can’t imitate it. You can’t take it. I can key in on it. Do you fall into it? No, you’re never I can’t. I can’t really do it. My wife could probably do it. I fallen, but it’s very earnest, very like over pronounced. So for me, that’s a real detriment to me. Because I look like a fraud all the time because I’ll fall in tow Whatever is being said to me. So if you have a heavy Southern accent like, I could go there real quick and its sound and it sounds disingenuous and like, I’m a head, But it’s just me, I guess trying to relate or something like that. And I don’t do it on purpose with that being said. So when you’re around black people, you’re like, Hey, what’s up? Money? No, no, no, no. Well, yeah, I guess I guess that does happen along. All right. So we rewatched thie nineteen eighty nine pet cemetery this week and it still holds up really well. Especially if you’re a parent. Yeah. Holy cow. Yeah, and I say we watch here, he watch it. I thought I had seen this movie and I realized as I was watching it that I had not seen this movie. That’s fair. And, you know, we’LL go into that in a minute. Anyways, here’s the trailer for Pet Cemetery, the original one. Eyes. This place I brought you here, Barry Allen. You’re right. Why, Judge? By car. You and Mr Crandall buried him. What did we do tonight? Judge? What? We did a secret. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Anyone ever buried a person up there? May the Lord make his face to shine upon you. You think? Can I get you something? Really? You think about that, don’t you? Back to me, Gage, come backto us. Pictures presents Stephen King’s time I’m a Bestselling Taylor. Pet cemetery. A cz of we. We watch it on Amazon Prime. It was free to stream. But as of the release of this episode, I don’t think it will be anymore. Yeah, it’s being pulled from free on prime, but Google it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s free or really, really cheap. The week of release for the remake. Oh yeah, well, yeah, no, actually, that’s that’s probably accurate. Especially like Google play. And I think I can really capitalize on that a lot because they they have the most to gain right, right, because they’re trying to compete with Amazon. Pet Cemetery is not really about a pet cemetery, but is really about what lies beyond with a pet cemetery. The movie, directed by Mary Lambert and written by Stephen King, is based on his novel of the same name. It tells the story of the young Creed family who’s head of household. Louis Creed is a doctor moving to a small town of Ludlow Mane with his wife, Rachel, played by Denise Crosby and his two children, Ellie, and gauge immediately, they they meet the kindly old man Judd Crandall, played by Fred Gwynne, who introduces them to the features of the property mainly a busy road filled exclusively with speeding eighteen wheelers and a spooky forest where people bury their dead pets that were killed by those same eighteen wheelers. Really, really picked quite a spot there, Louis. Yeah, good, good house. The crux of the plot, however, relies on what lay beyond yonder Pet Cemetery, the on ly horror troll more predictable than a Stephen King story set in Maine. That’s right, an Indian burial ground. And as with every movie about an Indian burial ground, the moral to the story is Don’t mess with an Indian burial ground. Haven’t you done enough, you white supremacist? Um, great name for the Indians. To,, Mack, Mack Indian Burial Ground. Yeah, that’s just rolls right off the lips. . It’s like shilly shally way we’re going. After the loss of a family cat church, Judd takes Louis to the Indian burial ground, which has the unique feature where whatever is buried there will come back to life. What spoilers? I think you pretty much get that idea. While the feline resurrection saves Ellie the grief of losing her favorite cat, the knowledge of a power to restore life is a Pandora’s box that only results in misery for the creed. Family Pet Cemetery deals really well with the concepts of loss and the folly of trying to cheat death. And it’s surprising how much is packed into this movie and how well it still delivers. It deals with the loss of a pet from teaching about the after life to your children, deals with protecting your children from physical and psychological trauma. Um, deals with resentment of carrying for people on their deathbed, also with the grief of losing a loved one and the desire to get them back at any cost, and it does all of these really well, Yeah, yeah, it does. And it’s also kind of a stand out because it’s the start as far as Faras. I remember unless Kujoe was before Kujoe is before, I think. But this is the first of the Stephen King movies that feels like, kind of like it could be a made for TV movie a little bit if you like, especially at the start, The way it starts doesn’t feel like a normal blockbuster movie. It feels kind of like toned down. It has it. The tone of this movie, especially at the beginning, feels like Tommy Knockers, I guess. Well, it’s it’s really interesting that this the screen screenplay was written by Stephen King himself. So it feels very much like a novel and that there’s like a sides. There’s little vignettes and and, ah, different areas that are explored, and you can really tell that King was including as much as he could from the novel to like touch on all the different areas that he wanted to touch thematically. Yes and ah yeah, it works works really well. I mean, a lot of the themes air pretty, pretty deep and like core to dread and and horror, Um, feeling, feeling it like you don’t have control, really feeling right like Jesus has the wheel and it does. It does it with the premise that that feels like it could be really, really corny and bad. Yeah, and it actually like explorers. It really well, that’s one of the with that premise. That’s one of the interesting things about this movie to me is because I think I think Stephen King and I think I think Tommy Knockers, I think dream catcher I think all these movies that don’t make it, like all these movies that are like, they’re kind of staples there definitely staples but they’re also, like, weird and just don’t make sense. And they’re like from a coke addled brain. And this movie is not that it is a well put together solid Yeah. Movie. Yeah. Um I will say the acting is not particularly good. No, especially from the lead. Louis, The guy that plays Louis House name. How dare you? My wife will have your head. Dale Midkiff Oh, yeah, Dale Midriff, midriff bit Dale Midkiff which I wrote in my notes. It sounds like he graduated from the Chiana Reeve school of acting. Just he’s He plays Elvis in Elvis and me, and he’s in. And according to my my wife, he’s in lots of lifetime movies and and Hallmark movies. So close your eyes and tell me whether this sounds like Chiana Reeves. Yeah, that’s church r e. I mean, yeah, it’s just like the delivery, if yet Thanks, Deano Reeves. Alright, anyways, But acting isn’t particularly good, but the writing makes up for it. The dialogue can have weird asides like those found and Stephen King’s novels, but they’re done tastefully, and they add to the tone of the film. There’s a lot of kind of poetic, you know, just weird quotations that they use that you would normally Houston normal conversation. But it works because it’s establishing the tone. The script also does a really good job of laying out the plot very logically and creating moments of escalation in ways that are always predictable. You know, it’s kind of a stepwise motion for lifting up the consequences in the decisions, you know throughout the film is has equal parts of dread, jump scares and gore all which all of which are very effective. I thought the special effects were really good. Save for one was the fight with the gauge doll. In the end, I like it when he jumps at him. Wait. So overall, I really like this. This movie, it holds up really well. I gave it a seven out of ten. Yeah, I am. This one’s our hard won for me, Tio pinned down because it is a you know, it’s like a formative. Yeah, it’s a formative kind of movie, and I do recognize that it is not just there. There are certain stumbling blocks in this movie like the acting. I like the delivery. Some of the delivery some of the delivery is like is so good that it really shouldn’t be replicated. John Lithgow should not be touching that role, even though he is legendary, you know. Yeah, Fred Gwynne is great in the movie. I mean, it’s a little sometimes is a little much on the main accent, but overall, I mean, he’s probably the best part of the main accent. By the way, the woman, the the laundry lady home and the main action I like I didn’t like it last night, I was watching this. I was like, The main is this is that I know it’s an accent. Does main have an accent and and yeah, that kind of that was jarring. But I mean, everything about Fred Gwynne be you really can’t you can’t replicate and shouldn’t go near it because he’s he’s just kind of the greatest all time for this role, so But I tip in it down, I’d say, Yeah, I give it a high seven probably, even though I do love it very much. Yeah, I think the only thing keeping it from being an eight was like the acting. There is a moments of really good emotion and it where you really you’re like Oh, jeez, yeah, yeah, I really believe that the terror that they’re feeling, Um, but it doesn’t necessarily earn it other than in that moment. Yeah, you know, it’s kind of this movie. This movie is interesting. That’s that’s what this movie is. It is an interesting movie because for a lot of different reasons, not just thematically and not just like entertainment wise. It’s interesting because it’s a Stephen King movie that isn’t Iraq. It’s a movie written by Stephen King. That isn’t Iraq, I should say. And it’s from the late eighties, early nineties, and it still holds up in the scares and in a lot and in Peking, my interests throughout, like I’m I’m there with it. And normally I in that time frame my attention can wander, So Ah, yeah, In that regard Pet Cemetery is is Ah, interesting and noteworthy movie that should be watched. Yeah. Uh, All right, let’s get into spoilers. Spoilers. Okay, so the beginning of the film does a really great job of foreshadowing. I mean, it’s very succinct, iconic. You’ve got a scary road. You’ve got a cat kid situation and a pet cemetery and no offense, you know, So the other moral to the story is put up one of those slow children playing signs. You know, it doesn’t have to be the county or something that puts it up. You can just put up one yourself. There’s slow kids playing here or, you know, yeah, put up, put up a fence. Just put up a little fence. Doesn’t mean it’s just got to be a road. Doesn’t have to be It doesn’t have to, like, keep everything And it’s just got to be a road blocked, kid. Yeah, anyways, so it starts out, basically sets up the premise of the movie in the setting with Judd and, you know, tell them about the pet cemetery and stuff. And then suddenly brains boom Big o just right from the home, too. Brain trauma and ah, doctor. As a compound fracture on that brain trauma So Dr Creed is ah, at the university. And they bring him in this trauma victim named Pascal. And the actual actual weird. He sure does. He, like, grabs Louis by the shirt and starts telling him Well, he should be dead. Yeah, he should be dead. Yeah, he and then he’s. But he’s not. Yeah, how that happened. I’m off men wear soil of a man’s heart is toe near stonier Estonia. Yes, I watch it with the subtitles on So I know whether he actually said that that, like, really, like, jumps into okay, Supernatural now? Yeah, because before then, it’s all just based on the reality of like, yep, new home. I have scary road pets die, and then all of a sudden, it’s like, creepy demon voice from man with brain falling out. Yeah, and ah, and then it just it just goes from there. And so pass cow P. Hans. Hey, Hans Lewis From then on, and pretty soon after that, he leads Lewis. You think it might be a dream, but it’s actually reality. He leads him to the pet cemetery and tells them very specifically. Don’t go beyond that. Point the ground bad. See all those sticks over there? You see all that, All that crap. Whatever you do, don’t climb over that. Don’t try and climb over all that crap that you would never think of climbing over. And now I’ve planted in your brain this crazy idea of climbing over all those crappy sticks the whole time like you still his ghost has, you know, brain falling out and stuff. Yeah. Which I’d hope if there is an afterlife, We do, like, get repaired. It’s not a scary if we do get repaired. Yeah, but yeah. Poor guy had his brain fallout for all of eternity. You know, I’d like to say that this that just that. So all the look, all the shooting, all the filming, all everything in this movie takes place in Maine. And what a beautiful place. Yeah, just gorgeous. It actually reminds me a lot of the Pacific Northwest. That’s why I went and looked up Where that where it was shock causes. Like there’s got to be Washington. It just has to be. Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. Stephen King insisted. I don’t know if he’s a producer on this, but he apparently had a lot of power on this film because he basically insisted that it had to be shot in Maine on location, and there couldn’t be, like, any changes to the script. Wow. And since it was in Maine, he lives in Bangor, Maine, and just really close. So he was on set all the time, you know, for the movie and ah, yeah, yeah, I mean, he I think he’s all about keeping it, you know, keep boosting the economy and trying to help out. Yeah, but also, I mean, it’s true to the setting of the story, and it’s based on, like, his life. I mean, his his Ah, he based it on the experience of one losing the family cat and by getting hit in the road. And he also had a child that he like, prevented from getting hit in a road. Well, so did I on the all the time when she goes dark for the road and I’m like a and then I tripper right and I think it’s like a lot like the scene with Gage, except, you know, he saves his daughter instead of that’s going to say,, are we going for some Eric Clapton stuff? And and also like basically, the property that he lived on was that, like this property had the busy road. And then there’s a pathway to literally a pet cemetery with the wrong spelling, like that’s what he based it off. So and Stephen King is on record saying that pet cemetery is to him that his scariest book. Really, Which makes sense, because it deals with such a personal thing. And I can’t think of anything more stare scary in terms of subject material than losing a child. Yeah, it’s It’s scary because it’s so blocked you because you have kids and, you know, they’re basically trying to die all the time, right? Can I drink? There’s no please toe. I have that written down as a talking point. Kids have a death wish in jobs. Like this. I mean, for me, particularly, this movie resonated with me because I’ve got a daughter around. The same age is Ellie, and I’ve got a son around the same age as gauge. Yeah, and Gaugin and Colin look pretty similar. I mean, yeah, a little blonde kids. I mean, the only difference is is Colin is like an absolute unit. Yeah, perhaps. I think I think if a semi truck hit Colin, he probably be okay. Semi truck with alright. Yeah, kid is he’s a tank. Uh, every time I see him, I’m like, God, that is a sturdy man. Like, I don’t even think of them as a baby. But in terms of like, as a little toddler like this, the way he’s running around and acting in the movie is like, man, that’s totally like my son, man. Just barely. Hey, starting toe like, understand words at all, you know? Yeah, a man. So yet when the scene spoilers, where its players Well, I mean this scene When when the audience had thirty years to get there. When gage gets hit by that truck and the reaction is just horror and just screaming in agony I’m like, Yeah, that I really felt it. Yeah, it was like there’s a few movies that do the child losing a child thing. Really? Well, hereditary is one of them, and this is another one. I’m sure there are others, but I mean, the reason it works is because you condemn you immediately. Khun, go there. Yeah, if you have kids and even if you don’t I mean, it’s very easy to put yourself into that. Yeah, because like like we said, like, kids have a death wish. You run through this scenario all the time in your head, just like you can’t look at them all the time. And when you don’t look at him and only takes him seconds to harm themselves, it’s astonishing. It’s it, really. I mean, there’s nothing more to say about it other than yeah, kids just want they want to get hurt. Yeah, badly. So pass Cow really is acting as a good angel. He’s showing Louis like, Don’t do this. It’s bad. Yeah, it’s not good. And as a contrast Judd is, you know, the friendly neighbor guy. You know, his brain’s aren’t falling out. He’s not scary to look at but he’s kind of acting is the bad angel. Yeah, and he’s He’s pushing Louis to use the burial ground when the when the cat dies. So how do you really think about it that way that way, Which is interesting because it’s so obvious, you know, But But all I think about when I see what’s his What’s his name? Judd. Yeah, I know, man. I wish I had a neighbor who just invited me over and offered me a beer. You want to sit down on the front porch and smoke and drink beer? Yeah, Judges, judges, like a great neighbor was not good. And he’s not. He’s not really like trying. He doesn’t have, ah, malicious. There’s no really he’s really trying to helping. But in terms of like getting Lewis in a bad spot, he is the direct cause of it. Absolutely, basically took his hand and said, Come here, Let’s do this. I will lead you on an incredible journey of land. Dead horrible, horrible thing. Um, And then, of course, judge, you know, tries to convince him not to, you know, resurrect his son. Yeah, which is tells them as bad idea because sometimes that is better. I can’t e and I’ve heard ever. John Lithgow’s, you know, read, redo of that. We had John Lithgow. I don’t think he’s trying to do a main accent at all. Not only is he not trying to do a main accent, he’s not ultra baritone. He is not bad. I mean, I think it’s good casting. Sometimes, Sometimes dead is better. But in terms of like casting against Fred Gwynne mean Fred Gwynne is a presence like his. His head is like probably the size of my like chest cavity. Yeah, he’s, he’s, he’s you know he was. He played Frankenstein for years. Is Herman Munster, you know. So he’s a large man. Giant mouth. Yeah, just and his teeth are appropriately messed up. You know, there’s no effort was gone into making his mouth pretty. Yeah, and so it’s everything about him. His country, you know, there there’s a strong element in this movie of that, like good old boy, kind of this is this is country. This is This is a rural place, and we’re hospitable folk, but we’re also hard. Yeah, there’s several things that tie this movie to the expanded Stephen King universe. Yeah, emcee you So for three cases in the U. S. K you Stephen King Universe? Yeah, sure skill. Anyways, they so there’s a couple like Little Easter eggs. There’s a poster that and I think in the novel they talk about a dog that goes crazy referring to Kujoe. I think in the movie they pass a sign for Salem’s lot. Um, and all of the family seems to have the shining like the entire family of the creed family, because Judd Khun see the dead being like Ellie like Cape keeps having premonitions and also sees Kosc out. Yeah, and I think that’s like just part of the thing is that, yeah, that their whole family Khun basically shine. Dude, this’s really interesting and never knew any of that stuff. I just like I just note notable things for me. Or like Boy, Luke Lewis is the worst rake forever. He’s bad at raking up leaves. I didn’t even notice that. He’s like he’s standing in the middle of his yard with a rake and their believes all around him, and he’s just like, I mean, it’s it’s like watching an actor who’s never had to do a thing, do a thing. It was just like like flopping it on the ground kind and then, like, he doesn’t rake anything. And then he’s like, done with Reagan and they’re still leaves everywhere. And it really bothered me a lot. You’re like, Oh, yeah, ties, ties really well in the Stephen King universe because I think the whole family can shine. Also, there’s the Salem’s lot thing going on over here, and I’m like, I can’t write. Um Okay, So, yeah, the the mother played by Denise Crosby, which I recognized from Star Trek. The next generation. Oh, yeah, I think she she left Star Trek the next generation. Um, like the year before this movie? Um, she didn’t She wasn’t a main character. Anything like she wass. I mean, she was basically she was war fs position before war. Oh, yeah, Yeah, I know. Will Wheatley said on record, He’s like, Yeah, the first season with war if they didn’t really ever do anything with him. But eventually, you know, he got flesh. Now you got flushed out, and he said, Basically, Denise Crosby just kind of got fed up with having nothing to do. So she quit and the worst mistake ever, And they killed her off in one of the episodes with the black oil monster. It was very sudden, but she came back. She she came back and like flashbacks and came back a czar as her daughter. So she she still worked on the show, but not as a main cast member. She’s no. Worf will tell you that in this movie, she plays Rachel and Rachel. Kind of. Ah, yeah, kind of kind of a. Don’t mince your words here. Okay? All right. Yeah, I wrote down a different word, but yeah, Boy, man, she she’s not grading. Yeah, grating. So this is when judges taking them and showing them the pet cemetery. And this is her reaction to a nice neighbor that was showing them an interesting thing about their property. Basically a feature of their property. There’s something going on. This place couldn’t plant nothing but corpses here. Anyway, I goes. How can you call it a good thing? A graveyard for pets killed in the road built by brokenhearted children. Well, that Lynn about death somehow not know them is great. Why? Why? Why is ah, I did I do something to offend you Are? Yeah, to make you mad. I’m just welcoming me, welcoming you to the neighborhood. Why? Why did they have to learn about death? Because it’s perhaps the most important thing that a shot a child should learn about because they’re constantly trying to die. And then later they’re talking as a family at the breakfast table. And, ah, they’re talking about neutering church. The cat and Ellie is like, worried that something’s going to go wrong in the surgery. And this is Ah, her reaction to Louis. You know, being a doctor and saying most likely everything will go fine anyways, so it should be all right, honey, You promised Daddy. Don’t shilly shally. Louis, Give the little girl a promise. Church will be fine. I promise. Uh, don’t shilly shally. Louis. Shut up, woman. Don’t shilly shally. Louis, give the little girl a promise. It’s like, Yeah, but how about you just stay out of it? Yeah, but there there’s a chance that something could go wrong. Sure. Like he’s a doctor. A him of all people is going to be like, Yeah. I mean, there might be something going happen. But it’s not so definitely be gone either way. S o. The premise behind having him neutered is Judd is like you should get that cat neutered. You should tutor up that cat because new neutered don’t wander it so much, they don’t wander, but yeah, they d’oh. I mean, but also, Yeah, just a road a couple feet away from your house. Yeah, and that’s not It’s not like they’re tied to your house once. They don’t have nuts. Yeah. Was the implication on that toe, like nude or his child? Should should he have neutered his child and then his kid wouldn’t have walked into the OK, so I don’t have boys, so I don’t know e I just deal with girls all day. No. Yeah, yeah. It’s kind of Ah, bad idea that. You know, if you have a cat that’s an outdoor cat, it’s just now Door cat? Yeah, it’s gonna wander around, and it and it better know its way around the street. Yeah, or else it I’ve had it be. I have had several cast that have died by getting hit by cars. It sucks. No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t, um Okay, so cat dies and Judd takes them to Indian burial ground. Of course, the cat comes back and the cat is scary like that Best holdup in terms of like, the jump scares with the cat. I thought so. Do you think so? Yes, Absolutely. This is church hissing with his eyes glinting in the dark is forever burned into my brain. That is one of the most iconic horror shots of maybe of all time. And in the nineties, it was used in a commercial. I can’t remember exactly what the commercial wass, but they played it over and over again. And I was little, you know, I was like, seven or eight and and very much like to this day. That’s one that’s one of these shots that is just going to live on for forever. Really? So, like, yeah, the jump scare when church appears again, is great. And then also the part where church scratches Um, it was, like, really effective to To me. Yeah, because for a number of reasons, because that’s exactly what a cat would tio. Apparently the cat. I thought it looked really weird to me like it was weirdly like compact. I don’t know. I guess it’s not that weird because they had, like, eight different cats. Plane? Church? Yeah, those those cats there, a blue something, and and all of them look exactly the same. So it making it the ideal cat for extras because you got one of them. This one over here looks just like it. Yeah, um, I guess, Yeah. When you film with cats, you can’t teach a cat to do more than one thing. And so they had to use, like, eight or nine different cats. And really, you’re not really training the cat. You’re just using the cats that have that natural profitability proclivity, like, All right, we need to train a cat to scratch you. Let’s just find a cat that scratches people is getting angry, one or, you know, mess with his tail. We need We need to catch the hiss of the camera touches tummy. Let’s let’s find a really pissy cat. Are you going touches? Tell me them always makes a man. Um, so, yeah, the bringing the cat back toe life is you know, something? It right about that cat is definitely undead. The daughter’s complaining about how states she’s like well and also like we passed one of my favorite scenes in this movie, which is Judd calls Louis over to his front lawn. He’s like a Louis. You got something going on? I want to see. That’s all right. I got a, uh, I think is that your cat? And it’s dead and is sitting there on his grasp on right next to the road. And it was like, Sure is you played the clip. Yeah, that’s true. Char very, very emotional church. All right. And and then after that, he peels church off the grass like the grass has The cat has been sitting there for a week because the grasses like intertwined. Well, they mentioned how was Frost have, like it frosted over ongoing Jed Judd specifically said, like, No, the cat wasn’t alive when you buried it. There’s no there’s nothing alive that would peel off the ground like that, right? Like it was frosted over. Yeah, yeah, that’s what I love that scene because of the effort he has to go through to pick that cat up off the grass is like a Velcro. Yeah, and so that that whole part of setting up the cat returning. It’s pretty low stakes. Yeah, you got You got a nun dead cat, which really acts like a cat. Anyway, a crazy zombie cat is, you know, pretty close to an actual cat. It right? What happens when you bury like fish in the pets? What then? It is a goldfish like because it doesn’t need air or water anymore. Yes, a little confusing the rules with with the world because, um, they come backto life. But you can still kill him pretty easily. Yeah, and further. So things were dying all the time and getting buried in this pet cemetery. Well, it’s not the pet cemetery. It’s the Indian burial ground beyond it. Right. But but But things are being buried in the pet cemetery. Yes. Oh, wait, I’m Yeah. So what if so, what if, like, a cougar dies in the Indian burial ground? I think you have to be buried, is the thing. Oh, okay. Mm. Yeah, that’s rough. But anyway, yeah, I mean, it’s kind of like they’re not that hard to kill after they’re dead. Like he kills them with, Like, a sedative. Yeah. You look like a drug. Go away, kitty. Um, so then the like, The most harrowing scene happens after all. This a set up of the rules of this Indian burial ground. Then, of course, gauge the little toddler, the que dis little boy in the world. And what a cute he runs into the road and gets annihilated by a semi truck. Yeah, pulling man just and just a reaction of of the family is feels really genuine. Well, yeah, I really believe that. They just lost a little child, and then they have a funeral for Gage. And the father in law is the biggest in the entire universe. He sure is. Like I told my daughter that he would on Lee bring pain and look what you’ve done. Look at you now, like, wow, does. I can’t think of a better way to get murdered in plain sight. Yeah. Then to confront someone who had lost their child, lost their child at the child’s funeral, telling them that it’s their fault. Yeah, that if my father in law did that to me, I would strangle him right there. Wow. What? He No. Okay, well, at least there’s no no risk of that. And then, of course, Judd, you know, knows what Louis is thinking. Hey says no, don’t do it. Don’t don’t don’t bury gauging the don’t do that thing. And of course he does, because yeah, I mean, so that asks a good question, right? That’s a That’s a worthwhile question. If you lost your kid and you were in the depths of despair because, you know, assuming you didn’t kill yourself, Yeah. Ah, how appealing would that be? How appealing would it be to be able to bring him back to life in any way, at any level of, like, even knowing, even watching? Okay, so you okay, so you have a pet cemetery situation going on at your house. You have a trail that leads to an Indian burial ground not far away. You watch the movie and then you lose your child and then you go. I know I just watched the movie about this thing that shows how bad this will end, but you might still do it. Here’s here’s yes, you would. And here’s why. Um Number one. You look at how people react to family members on their deathbed and, like, end of life care like people are vegetables. They’re not, they’re they’re never coming back. And they’ll still put him on life’s support for Aeon. Indefinitely. Yeah, because letting go is harder. Letting go is harder and they still have some talk. That person there, you know, whether it’s just the body and it’s And that is compounded infinitely when it’s a young, vibrant child, right? And then the other side of it is a child that’s a mindless zombie That on Lee wants to kill is really not that different than a toddler in general. That is to shape. But he’LL never darling, could you, could you tell? I don’t think I could tell sometimes if if my child was trying to kill me because they’re izombie or if they’re just trying to kill me because I didn’t let them finished playing with the iPad. Yeah, the lack of restraint is it’s really it’s just like, Hey, I know I owe man. Well, man, the other day, So we had we had a pair of scissors in the dishwasher and, ah, you know, the dishwasher in the kitchen shears or just Yeah, I guess I can’t recall. No, I think they were just like scissors, like sharp scissors and because whatever would cut something open and had to be washed. And so the dishwasher was sitting open. And, of course, she grabs the scissors and she comes walking into the hallway down that, you know, from the kitchen were looking down the hallway at her with this Paris is and she’s like, Look, this’s I’m like, Oh,. Both of us were, like a little And so I’m I’m, like, carries almost screaming. But I’m like, just stay calm. Just stay calm. I was she wearing a red jumpsuit by any chance? And now a brown glove on one hand. Now her name was not Lupita Young. Go. So I will just walk. Very column Lee, you know, stay in rial. Hey, how about you give me those okay? You know, because it was like she’s going Click, click, click, click, click. You know, she’s got this is his work and actual work in that action, out like, Oh, God, please don’t kill yourself. Yeah, I don’t know where the scissors are in my office, because I’m I guarantee that Might my eighteen month or old just grabbed him and walked away with him. Kids. Kids air of get fun. They’re fun. So the best part of this movie is dead. Gage. Yeah, he’s He’s super effective. Gabe Gage Gage wrote down gay percent gauge. Seen a little kid like literally with a scalpel. Carving up Fred Gwynne is, like, pretty horrifying. Yeah, it’s really effective because the child’s play come out before this or right after I think. Before I think Child’s play was eighty eight. I mean, I think it was like for some reason, that was the heyday of really selling that image. Oh, yeah, a little tiny baby or little tiny something like something killing you. Yeah, because yeah, gremlins really kicked that all off gremlins and then, uh, kicked off the whole small thing coming in. But it’s also now it’s really hokey. It’s like you would only see that in the movies. I guess they’re remaking child’s play. But when kids well, yes, like Gremlin, ask stuff stuff that’s not a person. So like gremlins and egg. What? What’s that other one that scared you? The cut of the box are girlies, girlies yeah, and hob goblins and all those critters. All those, By the way, new critters just just has been made and released on Shuter. Enter HMT it. Check out and check out the wacky. We gotta review this one because it’s crazy. But but so back to it like little kids, though, are always going to be a staple of horror, right, because it just makes sense. There’s so like if you if you have a two year old and she walks into your room at night unannounced quietly, it’s alarming because there’s this tiny little silhouette of a thing moving around in your house. You know, it clicks a lot of terrifying, you know, just checks all those boxes. Um, the scene with with Louis Fighting gauge our zombie gage is probably the worst in terms of special effects because it literally looks like not even a really good doll. That looks just like throwing around I shaking him like you ever trying to trying to breathe life into this doll by shaking it. Yeah, and it’s kind of interesting the director, so But they really went to great lengths to not traumatize this kid that any scene with blood or cutting or anything that he wasn’t on set. They just, like, would intercut him into it. Think the only thing that was remotely, um, scary would be He was He was there when he get gets injected in the neck. And that little kid did a really great job. You got to say he really especially considering how old he was. So he’s tiny. He was, like, just barely over two years old. And he’s a tiny, tiny kid. Yeah, just looks. He looks like an eighteen month old. Just a little taught and And yeah, no, he the way they did it. Yeah, the whole way through your kind of going Jesus Christ. I hope they didn’t traumatize this kid like very badly. But also, you can see the spots where they don’t You know where the effort is being made? Not too, because there’s a decent amount of kind of jump cutting what you know, or like showing a hand like a little tiny little tiny and with a scalpel instead of gauge with a scalpel exact, like enacting the violence. You know, you’LL see Gage with the scalpel, but the violence is done by has done with a shot of a hand with this tiny hand with a scalpel. So that kind of stuff kind of makes me feel a little bit better about the fact that this kid is not heavily traumatized. I got to say like that. Those scalpel seems pretty effective. Like Gore like him cutting up Judd Judd was like, Poof! Carbon and carbon is like Achilles ten. Big got really gets in there till and like his faith. Yeah, yeah, well, and that’s the thing that’s scary about child’s play and on all these these things, right? Because if you’re if you’re if your legs dead, If they get your and they always dio like in Child’s playing Pet Cemetery and all these movies, it’s like, Let’s go for the Achilles And you’d be up for out for the count, you know, maybe for life. So, yeah, the the other. The other part of it is Louis killing his kid a second time off, like and being, you know, doing it by his own hand. Even though it’s a zombie kid, you could still see that. That was, like painful. Yeah, I can’t imagine how how bad that would be. Just be like I got to say goodbye again, you know? Yeah, it’s like a mercy thing, which is not easy, but you just have to kind of, you know, like I don’t know when I when I mean that is a really interesting like parallel to this movie of just life support, having a having a family member on life support and, you know, they’re never coming back. Like like how people deal with death. And the answer is not well, right. It takes it. I’m always I’m all. I am impressed by people who are able to hunt because it’s that’s an impressive ability to be able to separate yourself even from killing an animal. You know, like like I remember as a kid, you know, we had acreage and I would mow the field, you know, and Ah, and I’d run, you know, you just run over a little field mice and then they’d be kind of like, you know, in the throes of death. And as a kid, you know, walking up to him, being like I have to I have to kill this thing, Teo, because that’s that’s the right thing to do. Like, yeah, I heard it and, you know, step anonymous or whatever, and but that’s very difficult to dio. Its not, it’s takes stills, takes a little p C. A. You know, and so being able to divorce yourself from that is impressive to me. Yeah, kinda interesting. Like how other cultures that air closer to nature, right, are better with death or more respectful about it. Much more so, for example, the Indians like Indian burial grounds. There’s a lot of, you know, symbolism around that of just showing there’s more respect for life in the circle of life right now where they’re not trying to. You know, a lot of lot of Native American rituals are just leaving the body out and letting nature consume it. Yet there’s and or just kind of returning it to the earth as opposed to, you know, Western cultures there. Let’s preserve this to make it look like it’s a life for a CZ long as possible, because we don’t want to admit that this person’s gone right, and ah, and then just in general of just yeah, consuming meat, like having being a hunter and being having an intimate relationship with the thing that you’re killing and eating yeah, is a lot more meaningful than just picking up a pound of beef from the supermarket. Yeah, and it’s much different than trophy hunting, right? It’s not. It’s not joyous. Two. It’s not joyous in a hurry. I killed this thing. It’s not the The joy doesn’t is not surrounding, you know, getting, you know, acquiring its its surrounding, You know, Thank you for giving your life to sustain my life, you know, and and paying respect. Yeah. Yes. Ah, life and death is fertile ground, too. Explore. So, final recommendations. Who would you suggest would like Pet cemetery? If you’re a horror fan, you really just need this in your You really need this in your repertoire. You know, you need to have I’ve seen this to be able to discuss it. It’s important. Yeah, and especially if you’re a parent. Like, if you’re a parent with a young family, this movie is horrifying. Yeah, it will be. It’ll it’ll it’Ll hit those buttons for you. Yeah. All right, go see it. See it before the remake. The remakes coming out tomorrow If you’re listening to this podcast on the day of release and we’ll be reviewing the remake next week, so tune in next Wednesday. Also check out we have a blogger on horror movie talk dot com. It’s our latest blog’s so just and it’s and it’s Keith comparing Well, you know whether or not the pet cemetery needed to be remade, basically, is the question he asks and and tries to answer in this log. And it is a big, long blawg that really delves deep into that and the idea of remakes itself when, when it’s necessary and when it’s not. In fact, don’t go to our website directly. If you search Pet Cemetery Original versus Reverses remake, it should come up on the first page and number one click, click through the horror movie Talk and read that article. It is really good, and it’s he wrote it mostly just based on the trailer. He’s goingto update it after he sees the new movie by help. So yeah, most of it, you know, reading over it like it’s more like you said. Just an argument about whether this needs to be remade or not. We’re the changes that you could see in the trailer worth it. Yeah, and he’s really fair about it. And and this is This is an interesting like that, in my opinion, really doesn’t need to be remade. I get why they would, you know, this’s going to be one of the biggest horror releases of twenty nineteen is my guess. You know, just because Pet Cemetery, I mean its legend. It’s a legendary horror movie, but I can’t. I just can’t see what they’re what spin they’re going to put on it that’s going to make it. That’s going to add anything. All right, so let’s move on to our game, the Rotten Tomatoes game. Right. Rotten. We’ve got a record that in earnest, Rotten tomatoes. Game is where I list off a couple movies. And David has to guess which one has the higher tomato score. Taito meter score on the Taito Mitos made me No, don’t call. I’m right. This is a themed addition of all the Stephen King animal related movies. Wow. You were able to compile with other animal related non horror animal related movies. Okay. All right, but yeah, there’s just barely enough like actual Stephen King adaptations that it works. Okay, Okay, first. Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers. There’s a TV movie versus Homeward bound. The Incredible Journey Eyes that homeward bound. The Incredible Journey is the one that we saw his kid, the one that was released, like ninety in the nineteen ninety ninety two Michael J. Fox Pups. Yeah, boy, that was a great move. Well, but it’s so hard to say, all of these movies that I picked are like my childhood movies, and I also I thought, their whole grade. Wow, you’re casting aspersions on homeward bound Now I feel like I saw that movie so many times like that was just got worn out VHS player. I really can’t see. I really can’t see a made for TV. Stephen King. What? Beating Homeward bound. Like one of my childhood favorites. So I’m going home or bound on this one? Yeah, that’s one of the easiest one. Sleeping sleepwalkers was twenty percent and homeward bound. The incredible journey was eighty seven percent bank. So really good. What was sleep? Sleep waters. Sleepwalkers was the one that I thought was pet cemetery like, That’s the one I remember scene and it’s got like and involved cats. I can like a weird alien zombie virus that turns people into cat. Now, is there somewhere we got? That’s the Stephen King. I know that this pet cemetery totally makes sense pretty good. But I remember, like, when seen stuff about Pet Cemetery to only show that cat, I’d be like, I remember seeing a really Stephen King cat movie on. Like I can understand what people are talking so fondly about this pet cemetery because I remember it being a real piece of. Yeah. You know, a pet cemetery really falls into that nostalgia zone with twin peaks and just Oh, and misery, You know, like just good kind of interesting spot in history. Okay, next up, Kujoe versus Benji the Hunted Wow! Benji The hunted That’s also in the like a tease, huh? So and Qiu Ju I’ve never seen Never seen Joe Benji The hunted was probably my favorite movie when I was like a toddler Ah, Benji happen. She was great Just watching a little scraggly dog run around and do your stuff. Look, the dog’s doing stuff. Oh, he’s walking down the street. I liketo walk down the street. Yeah, um who This is tough because I’m sure Benji the Hunted does not get thie the reviewers coming back and looking at it Nobody Nobody has reviewed Benji the hunted since since it came out. Oh, I don’t know. I mean, come on, Netflix, He really OK from Netflix? Okay, All right. So here we go. Benji the hunted. I’m still going to go. I’m still just because of the I will say that there close. I’m just going to say just cause of the cult aspect of Kudo. Don’t go with Kujoe, Alright? You’re correct. Mean Kudo is sixty percent and Benji the hunted is fifty six percent. Ah, Poor Benjy. Be nice. A little pup. All right. Another really close one pet cemetery way just reviewed versus Turner and. Starring Tom Hanks and Big Ugly Dog. Um, Man, that’s rough. I’m guessing that pet cemetery is sitting somewhere in the seventy to eighty percent zone. Probably like low eighties, and I’m going to guess that Turner and is sitting. That’s tough because the audience score on Turner and is going to be high because people really like early Tom Hanks. Well, it’s not the audience know, I know, but and that’s what I’m trying to, because because I’m thinking public sentiment. But it’s that’s not what this is about. I’m going to say I must say pet cemetery because I think it’s just gotten more love over time saying it, You are wrong Oh, pet Cemetery was fifty percent. Why It’s not even fresh shocking. To me, this is a good movie. Fifty five zero five zero Wow! And Turner and was fifty two percent. All right. Next The Adventures of Milo and Otis. Yeah, How man I love that one versus Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye Cats. I. This isn’t about animals. It is called cats. I like cats on it. What’s his thing with cats? Cats? I Cat’s eyes like a casino is a three. It’s like it’s kind of like creep show. It’s got three short stories that I don’t know anything about it, but I thought I had a cat on the cover and it’s called Cat’s Eye. So included it. I think we really need to get deeper into watching more Stephen King. You know, movies, because I have I as almost a za rule I’ve there so many, though there’s no way we could do it all. I mean, that would be a podcast itself. Thinner. There’s like there’s, like, forty movies, like If you look on Wikipedia, it’s it goes on forever. Lawnmower Man was one. Well, like Lan Mar meant Well, the lawnmower man that we know there’s only based on the title are like they only borrowed the title. It has nothing to do with his story, but they still counted on Wikipedia. Yeah, there’s a lot Okay, So this is Milo. Notice versus Cats. I, uh Bye, Milo. Notice has to take it just based on the fact that it’s awesome and I’ve never heard of Cat’s eye. All right, you’re right. Yea, Adventures of Milo Notice is eighty Stephen King’s Cat’s Eyes sixty seven. That’s three out of four. So far, you have one last one. Ah, yeah, Yeah. Okay, babe versus Pet Cemetery, too. Wow. I mean, uh, I’m rack your brain. I mean, I don’t know. Wait. There’s a pet cemetery to Yes, there is directed by the same director. Wow. Mary Lambert. Wow. I wonder what she did. Is it good? Lets find out. I’m going to say this is not big in the city. No, if there is no they What a great movie that wass Bahram you, Bryce. I’ve still never saying that You’ve never seen Babe. Oh, my God would do to life, bro. Do you know you got kids? You need to show him, babe. Okay, It’s the best. It’s such a cute little baby. I bet somebody ate him after that. I’m going to go, babe. It’s a pretty safe bet. Think Bay was nominated for laying Academy Award. Yeah, baby came in at ninety seven percent. Wow. And pet cemetery to came in at. Why don’t you just guess what? The score for pet cemetery go twenty to twenty five percent. Twenty finally closed. All right, So you dominated that game. Yeah, that was good. I did good meat. Good, good. Jolly. I mean, I was tryingto find enough Stephen King movies that the ones that I found a really bad So it wasn’t that hard. I should have just found really bad animal movies. No. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Babe won an Academy Award for cute pig if just for they just create that category that year, right? And, you know, it was wasn’t hard because there’s a lot of yeah, ugly pigs. I was really surprised at how low Benji the Hunted in Turner and. God, Is that really surprising, though, Like, it just must be like I probably didn’t have really good taste. Is a kid no Say that ain’t so your movie reviewer Horror movie. Look atyou. You’ve come so far. Bad taste like And Benji. Benji The hunted was great. It was Benji the cute dog. Except he was hunted. Yeah, scary their stakes. Now they should remake that movie. Who has a horror movie? The real question. Does that issued the origin? Make a sequel? Benji the Hunter. Oh, Benji’s or Van shifts. All right. Thanks for listening to the show that the road Benj Rabb, Adams or a Benji, the Hunter Ra Benji. Hey, Benji gets his revenge. Ah, all right, that’s all we got for today. Thanks for listening. Please share the podcast with a friend. We’ve got convenient links on our website at horror movie talk dot com Again, If you want to get a thirty day free trial to shutter, there’s lots of exclusive content on there. That’s your horror movie fan or even a TV fan. Yue’s hmt it. Check out again. If you are just clamoring for ways to support the show, you can go on our website horror movie talk dot com and click on the Amazon. Ah, bunter Henderson Amazon Button in the banner and pretty much do any of your Amazon shopping and we’ll get a little taste of that. So thanks again and join us next week when we review Pet Cemetery might. Sorry that Cemetery two thousand nineteen. Yeah, the remake, The remake The Remix Baby Bye Yeah.
Quick Take on Pet Sematary 2019
Forgive the shitty audio, but we got to see an advance screening of Pet Sematary 2019 and we wanted to share our impressions immediately upon returning from the theater. Check it out, and stay tuned for our next episode where we’ll do a full review.
https://youtu.be/A4qB59BdZY0
Read more on our blog
Keith has written a stellar blog on Pet Sematary that you should check out:
We went and saw Us, and while it was an incredibly solid horror movie, it did not live up to the hype. Yes, it had good social commentary and implications. Yes, it is by one of the most respected (if only because of his single debut horror movie, Get Out) writers, directors out there, Jordan Peele. Yes, it starred an all-black cast. It’s hard to follow something like Get Out with something even more impressive, and that’s the only sin that Us committed.
Us Overview
At its core, Us is a home invasion horror movie. Us is also a smart critique on America today, both politically, and socioeconomically. Even more, it’s a fun, and at times, funny movie that everyone can probably appreciate.
https://youtu.be/1tzFRIQfwXg
One of the many things that Us has going for it? It’s a conversation starter.
My Score
7/10
While it’s all the things I described above, it’s not particularly impressive in any stand-out way. It’s a solid movie that people will talk about, but it’s just not THAT thrilling. I was fairly bored during about ⅓ of this movie, and a lot of that was while the cat and mouse game between these two mirror families was playing out. It is an intricate, well-crafted film, with an eye on symbolism and obvious deep meaning. It just didn’t entertain me like I hoped it would.
Us begins in 1986 on the Santa Cruz boardwalk, with young Adelaide having a fun time with her parents. At some point, she wanders off and discovers a House of Mysteries below the boardwalk, which is where she first comes into contact with her tethered-self.
https://youtu.be/Adlemia_V7o
The international trailer
This intro is nearly perfect in the way it builds tension and sets the atmosphere. I was enthralled immediately. The beach at night is a very scary place, and I think he captured that feeling quite well.
Adelaide is deeply traumatized and stops talking following this event for some time.
Fast forward to the present day, and Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o) is driving with her family to their vacation house near Santa Cruz. Adelaide is nervous about returning to the scene of the crime that caused her so much agony as a child.
The family has a few strange run-ins at the beach and a small scare. From here they meet up with their friends, the Tylers (Tim Heidecker and Elizabeth Moss). I can’t take Tim Heidecker seriously, for me, this is a miss-cast role, but to be fair, for most it’s probably a high point in the movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyn6g6JFkIY
Say No, no to the purple scare no no’s. One of the many reasons I can’t take Tim Heidecker seriously. Yes, these are real commercials for real mattresses.
Her husband (Winston Duke) believes that she is overreacting when she starts having panics about the safety of her family, and the area in general. When they are getting ready to go to bed that night, the action ramps up when they see a family standing in their driveway.
Check Out Our Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich Review
There is a lot of chasing and being chased in Us, which is the least fun part for me. There weren’t very many genuinely disturbing moments, there were few scares, and overall the middle of the movie felt very soft compared to what it could have been.
Thinking back on Get Out, it wasn’t a movie that went over-the-top with scares, it did what Us did, created ambiance, and mood quite well.
Us is well cast and acted, every single character was compelling and made the movie better except Tim Heidecker, whom, as I said, I just can’t take seriously.
https://youtu.be/fa7f-Q-Bq9Q
Jordan Peele’s Rotten Tomatoes interview on Us
So, when we meet the tethered people or the doppelgängers, the Adelaide tethered tells the story of who they are and how they came to be.
The happy middle-class family that is the Wilson’s has an inverse family of tethered people who are forced to live underground and have lives that are the inverse of their above-ground counterparts.
The doppelgänger family lives in a place where suffering and cruelty is normal. This family has the last name Red. They hate their above-ground counterparts for obvious reasons and have decided to take their lives.
Us had a wonderful, original score, that reminds the audience that choral music and analog sounds do produce the creepiest vibe.
https://youtu.be/WFGmO1e_sAU
Creep on it…
At the end, it is revealed that the underground copy of Adelaide kidnapped and swapped places with the above-ground girl in 1986. This insinuates that “We are them and they are us.” It’s the environment that makes the person.
One thing I noticed was that none of the Red family could talk except for Adelaide. No one underground ever talked, so the ability to talk was mostly lost in Adelaide who was forced underground. This also explains the supposed PTSD issue following the events of the 1986 boardwalk.
Us Pays Homage to Peele’s Inspiration
Lot’s of tributes are being paid in Us. Some of the things I noticed were:
Well, there are a lot of different ways people can an will interpret this movie, it was made to be interpreted a number of different ways. Here was my immediate takeaway impressions of Us.
The Bible verse that continuously appears in the film (Jeremiah 11:11) reads:
Therefore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them.
Keep this in mind while interpreting the movie.
There is an obvious socioeconomic suggestion going on in Us – an analogy of class.
Young Adelaide – or is it?
I couldn’t shake that this was an obvious criticism of an America who voted for Trump:
The “evil” people were called Red.
There is a fear of invaders, of people foreign to us whom we may believe are below us.
There is a point in the movie where they reference hands across America, which seems like a direct Mexico wall reference — joining together to unite in building a wall.
The suggestion that we don’t know who we are, we are a nation divided, half of us would like very much to ignore the other half, and that goes both ways.
Also, following the twist ending the very real, “we are whom we hate” suggesting that those who think they are innocent are just as guilty.
All of this spoke very loudly to me about the state of America under Trump, today. Almost like a “Shame on you, America.”
Anyone who enjoys a movie with a deeply well thought out meaning, or symbolism will be able to latch onto something within this movie that will spawn lots of interesting conversations. If you enjoy home invasion horror, this is a must see, although it’s not the best, it’s quite good. The trailer ruined this movie quite a bit for me. Most of the action in this movie just felt like the trailer+.
Terrified (Aterrados) Movie Review
Mar 20, 2019
We saw Terrified AKA Aterrados on Shudder (it’s a Shudder exclusive) and goddammit, it was a scary ride. This is an Argentinian horror film that knows how to terrify you – and holy jesus is it a blast! This movie is worth the price of entry and then some, if you are a horror fan you must check it out!
Terrified is an 87 minute powerhouse of scares that skips all the story and exposition, instead choosing to head straight for the meat on the bone – scares. It utilizes a super-interesting format that allows it to focus on a few different story lines at once. As the movie progresses the story lines intertwine into a cohesive web of terror.
https://youtu.be/Svhmi1wTs-A
Terrified introduces us to a neighborhood that is plagued by an infection of sorts. The symptoms of this infection include the dead brought to life, strange creatures that resemble corpses, and invisible/visible spooks that seem to live in the dark corners of houses and apartments. A team of researchers and cops spend a night in the three houses affected by this plague and end up finding more than they bargained for.
Terrified is remarkably effective at what it sets out to do – scare. It utilizes some great camera work, sound design, acting, and visual effects to produce a real terror of a film. It doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not, and as a result the viewer doesn’t get much of a chance to breathe. It’s tight, and it gave me real scares, which seem to be hard to find anymore.
Our Score
9/10
Join Shudder to Watch Terrified
Use code “HMT” at checkout for a 30 day free trial
Terrified starts out in a couple’s apartment. Juan (Agustín Rittano) and Clara (Natalia Señorales) are plagued by what they believe to be their neighbor hammering on some DIY project every morning at 5 AM. After a couple mornings, Juan wakes up to his bed empty of Clara, but the hammering is still in full swing. Juan walks outside and buzzes the intercom in his neighbor, Walter’s (Demián Salomón) front yard. No one answers, just heavy breathing. As he walks back into his house and into the bathroom he witnesses his partner levitating, lifeless, and vertical in the bath, being slammed back and forth between the two, tiled walls.
The focus then changes, and we get to see a bit of their neighbor, Walter’s week. Walter lives alone in this duplex he shares with Clara and Juan – or so he hopes. Walter seemingly lives in constant fear and mental anguish of something else inhabiting his house. Something is constantly unplugging his nightstand lamp and alarm clock, things move throughout the house, and Walter appears to be on high alert. As the viewers, we are granted a look at the thing that lives in Walter’s duplex with him.
Finally, a small child is killed when coming too close to Walter’s apartment. The child rises from the grave and makes his way back home to take his place at the dining table, a decomposing little boy. His mother, Alicia, is understandably beside herself and contacts the authorities, who show up to investigate.
At this point the three storylines morph into one when two detectives and a paranormal investigator who had been called by Walter when he was of semi-sane mind. The three decide to spend a night in the three houses in question and find quite a bit more than they bargained for.
Deadly Serious Slasher Fan? Check Out our Child’s Play Review!
The sound and sound design in Terrified is fabulous, and really understand how to work around tension and scares.
Terrified (Aterrados) Camera Work
The camera work is adept and is great at building tension with slow, back and forth panning shots that work to block the viewers at key points in the tension builds.
Terrified (Aterrados) Final Recommendations and Summation
This movie does not need lots of exposition, story, or plot. This is a vehicle to scare the shit out of you and it works. The subtitles don’t get in the way one bit. If you are a jaded horror fan that just want’s something unnerving and spooky to scare you, Terrified is your jam.
Movie Review Grab Bag & 2018 Academy Awards Talk
Mar 13, 2019
Muuuuuuhhhhh the Frensh Champangg
This week we chose to give a quick summary of every movie that we haven’t reviewed, but have watched over the past few months. Within, you will find a quick summary of each movie, and our opinion on whether or not it’s worth your time.
Not a lot to say on this episode, guys and gals. Next week we will be back up with our normal format. Thanks for the support, remember to share the pod with a friend!
Like Episodes Like This? Check Out The Beginnings of HMT!
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2018/11/01/the-horrific-beginnings-of-horror-movie-talk/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs5YwFONswQ
Make sure to check out our favorite drop…Orson Welles killing it in this commercial shoot.
Greta Review
Mar 06, 2019
Greta is an anagram for great, which this film is not. In this episode of Horror Movie Talk, we discuss this new thriller out in theaters starring Isabelle Huppert and Chloë Grace Moretz. Later on we do a round of Taglines and cover the most recent horror movie news.
Greta Movie Synopsis
Greta is one of those films that gives you pretty much everything in the trailer. You can pretty much figure out everything that happens in the movie by rearranging the sequence of the shots in the trailer to the most logical sequence of events.
https://youtu.be/WAEoJkL_8zU
Greta is directed by Neil Jordan and tell the story of Frances McCullen (Chloë Grace Moretz), a young woman that comes across a lost purse on the subway and being a good Samaritan, she returns it to its owner Greta Hildeg (Isabelle Huppert). The two strike a quick surrogate mother/daughter friendship and start spending time with one another. Frances soon discovers that the purse was really a ploy that Greta has used many times before to lure in young women into her orbit. She gets progressively creeped out and discovers Greta’s evil secrets too late to save herself.
Greta is an ok film with good acting, but heavily contrived danger. If you can get scared by middle aged, slight, 5’3” women, this movie will terrify you. If you, like me, realize pretty much anyone short of a child could immediately overpower her, it loses some of it’s edge. The real power of this movie is when it focuses on the creep factor of having a stalker that progressively gets more threatening as she is pushed away. This isn’t a horror movie, but it does have some ok gore and some genuine darkness in the third act. It was entertaining enough, but never really grabbed me.
As stated before, there aren’t a lot of spoilers to be had with this movie. The only mystery left is “what does Greta do with the girls?” and “why does Greta do this?” Both questions have unsatisfying answers.
She imprisons them in a hidden room (or a box for punishment) until a replacement comes along and she kills them
Because she’s crazy
The official tagline for this movie is “Who is Greta?” So I guess that is supposed to be an interesting spoiler as well. The answer is she is a Hungarian woman posing as a sophisticated French woman. Because reasons.
Of note, this is the second Hungarian villain in the last month of episodes. The Prodigy also featured a Hungarian serial killer.
The main draw back of this movie is that the character of Frances is smart enough to immediately recognize danger when she discover’s Greta’s multiple purses, but to dumb to know when to break a window to escape.
Final Recommendations for Greta
This would be a decent date movie, but you might want to wait till it’s on Netflix.
Videos and Trailers Mentioned in Episode 33 of Horror Movie Talk
https://youtu.be/VFevH5vP32s
Muhuuuh the Frensh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCx-M8dcDhk
Boo Box scene in Hook featuring Glen Close
https://youtu.be/cfaDM0Os_Qc
Pet Sematary Trailer Mentioned in Horror Movie News Segment
https://youtu.be/ZsBO4b3tyZg
New Hellboy Red Band Trailer mentioned in Horror Movie News Segment
https://youtu.be/gukMGtZoaKk
IT: Chapter Two Spoilers from Jessica Chastain
https://youtu.be/27RtJp-rhHk
Hail Satan? documentary trailer mentioned in Horror Movie Talk segment
https://youtu.be/I0UWIya-O0s
Midsommar Trailer mentioned in Horror Movie Talk segment
Summer of 84 Review
Feb 27, 2019
We watched Summer of 84 on Shudder, and it was nostalgia-rific. Teenager Davey Armstrong is mired in conspiracy theories and the Weekly World News stories. Davey begins to suspect that a neighboring police officer is a serial killer who targets kids in the Cape May Oregon area (which is made up) called, “The Cape May Slayer. With some help from his friends, Davey begins investigating the perp, which eventually turns into a dangerous game of cat and mouse.
Summer of 84 Overview
Summer of 84 was a pretty fun nostalgia trip. This isn’t as crazy or pandering as movies like Turbo Kid, or Ready Player One, which seeks to pile on all the nostalgia they can. Instead, this movie takes a close look at a boring old summer turned exciting, aka dangerous. It’s very similar in feel to Stranger Things. It’s basically a Stranger Things remake of Rear Window.
https://youtu.be/vkalLfx229o
While it slumps a bit in the middle, it holds up well and is able to pull off a high-quality production. In fact all of the Shudder exclusives I’ve watched so far have been worth my time.
To me, it’s always impressive when a movie seeks to create a new town that doesn’t exist in real life, and Ipswich, Oregon is no different. I’m a Washingtonian, but I live right next to Oregon and have most of my life, and I was tricked by Summer of 84 into believing that not only Ipswich existed, but it’s geographical location of Cape May existed when it does not. This speaks to the authentic feeling that this movie portrays. It’s authentic in its location, and in the believable characters.
The sets were done well, which is always impressive to me in these period piece movies, even if the period is only the 80’s.
The soundtrack is pretty much what you would expect it to be with lots of edgy, synth wave and Kavinsky-esque tracks in the original score.
Let’s take a look at the main character, Davey (played by Graham Verchere of The Good Doctor). Davey is the quintessential 80’s movie star character – think Elliot in E.T. The Extraterrestrial. He’s slight of build, he’s relatable to the every-man, dorks but not jocks, and basically the human equivalent of vanilla ice cream.
Davey’s three friends fill the appropriate roles: you have the nerd, Curtis (played by Cory Gruter-Andrew), the bad boy Tommy (played by Judah Lewis of The Babysitter), and fatty, fatty two by four Dale (played by Caleb Emery). These friends provide all the humor in the movie via boys-will-be-boys styles masturbation and your mom jokes. The humor is juvenile, but it feels like it’s in the right place.
The next door neighbor/heart-throb is Nikki (played by the beautiful Tiera Skovbye).
Mackey (played admirably by Rich Sommer who has done a bunch of shows you’ve seen) is the ultimate foil. He is a cop. They guess it’s him early on in the movie, leading you to believe that it’s probably not him – but it is – but is it?
Ultimately the boys do their best to prove that it’s Mackey until Mackey takes matters into his own hands as a police officer. He decides to find a patsy to pin the murders on and is celebrated as the man who found the Cape May Slayer.
The capture of the fake Cape May Slayer kicks the boys into high gear, and they decide to break into Mackey’s house where they find a room full of a few of his victims, both alive and dead.
At this point, the movie flips a switch. Mackey goes on the lamb and eventually grabs Davey and Caleb, the large lad, and plays a big game of manhunt with them.
This is where the movie turns into a hard horror. Mackey leaves Davey with a truly disturbing monologue that would leave any kid shaking in their boots.
The two problems that I had with Summer of 84:
The pacing wasn’t terrible, but it certainly could have been faster. They could have kept it at this pace if they had done thrown a little bit more to the audience in terms of fun visuals or intriguing dialog.
The suspense falls flat until the last act of the movie, which means it’s mostly a love story and a fun whodunit until then. The jump scares are excessively loud and completely dangling in the wind. Most of the jump scares have no build up and therefore aren’t releasing any audience tension. The effect is minor confusion.
Final Recommendations
Summer of 84 was a fun movie that any casual fan of horror would enjoy. If you get done with Stranger Things and feel like you need more 80’s nostalgia, this is a great movie to scratch that itch.
The Hole in the Ground Trailer
https://youtu.be/BxY2vnJiByw
Happy Death Day 2U Review
Feb 20, 2019
Happy Death Day 2U is the direct sequel to Groundhog Day plot stealing slasher Happy Death Day. Even though the slasher elements take a backseat in this entry, the fun and fresh tone of the original is maintained. This film has more of a sci-fi comedy than a horror movie and tries to extend the scope of the first film while maintaining the premise of living the same day over and over again.
Happy Death Day 2U Synopsis
The film starts out following Ryan Phan (played by Phi Vu) on the morning after the events of the first film. Ryan was only a bit part in the original Happy Death Day, but plays a much more important role in the plot this time around. In a welcome bait and switch, after rerunning Ryan’s day a couple times, the plot switches focus back to the original protagonist of Happy Death Day, Tree Gelbman (played by Jessica Rothe).
Check Out Our Review Of Silent Night Deadly Night!
If you’re not familiar with the premise of the original, it is simply a horror version of Groundhog Day. Tree is forced to relive day of her murder over and over again until she solves the mystery of who her killer is. This sequel throws in a wrinkle this time because despite being the same day, Tree is in a different dimension, so not everything is the same.
https://youtu.be/THq6KlWgiqw
HDD2U Lowdown
Happy Death Day 2U maintains the fun and playful atmosphere of the original but basically switches genres. It’s much less of a horror movie, and more of a sci-fi comedy, ala Back to the Future. In trying to keep the premise fresh, they end up over-extending and there are multiple loose ends and skimmed over plot points that make this movie much less cohesive and tight as the first movie. Happy Death Day 2U is more enjoyable than the average movie nonetheless, and that is thanks to the performance of Jessica Rothe.
If you liked the first one, you will still like this one. Very light horror, so if you are going for a slasher, you might be disappointed.
Bonus Trailer: Ma
https://youtu.be/dvpKRSHIkzM
The Prodigy Review
Feb 13, 2019
Today we review The Prodigy, which, if you recall from horror movie news a few weeks ago was pulled back into the edit bay because they claimed it was too scary. Well, mission accomplished, The Prodigy is no longer too scary. In fact, it isn’t too much of anything; it’s more of a forgettable horror movie that had decent promise and delivered on very little.
The Prodigy starts with two stories happening simultaneously: One is a mother giving birth. Another is a woman escaping from the clutches of a deranged serial killer’s house minus a hand. The escaping woman notifies the authorities, and a swat team begins closing in on the serial killer’s house. As the baby is born the serial killer is gunned down, the insinuation being that the soul of the serial killer is reincarnated into this newborn baby. And, just like that, I was bored into oblivion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC4cyYRxjFk
The Prodigy was a highly hyped movie that ends up falling flat. It was made up of a lot of hand-holding and exposition that was WAY too convenient for the story. It felt like lazy writing with a decent concept. The most notable stars of The Prodigy are Taylor Schilling from Orange is the New Black, and Jackson Robert Scott, who was the little Georgie in the It remake from 2017.
The men to blame for The Prodigy is the writer, Jeff Buhler (Midnight Meat Train), and director Nicholas McCarthy (The Pact). The Prodigy’s writing is so predictable that it sometimes feels like a paint by numbers for horror movies. The direction is just boring, leaving you wishing the movie ended an hour before it does.
There are a few decent jump-scares but good god man, it’s just not worth it. That being said, it’s not a “bad” movie, it’s just bland as bland can be.
Score For The Prodigy
4/10
It’s not fun, and it’s barely entertaining. Does that make it bad? I don’t think so, just pretty sub-par.
The bones of The Prodigy are pretty good. The idea that a killer could be reincarnated is not a new one (Child’s Play,The Omen, and plenty of others), but it is compelling and could be made very scary. I think the way I would like to see a story like this play out is with a Rob Zombie flair.
Miles is the formulaic evil child who has been placed in the formulaic evil child script to act out formulaic evil child things.
Here is a brief rundown on the structure of The Prodigy:
Mom has evil child
Evil child is gifted but evil
Doctors note gift, also note “some evil”
Mom takes child to a brain quack who diagnoses evil within child with far greater accuracy than many doctors can diagnose the common cold
Child confirmed: evil
Evil deeds by evil child
Evil child splits up family
Evil wins, probably
So, with the boring script stripped away, this becomes a movie that you have probably seen before, which would normally be fine. There are no original stories left to tell. The sin that The Prodigy commits is that it doesn’t add anything new or interesting to the story to make you care.
Check Out Our Review Of The House That Jack Built!
It wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t fun or original or interesting. It made sense, and it wasn’t like the acting was poor. It was just boring and long.
So, what’s so boring about The Prodigy? Well, let’s talk about a game that was played two, maybe three times in this movie – staring match. Can you think of a more bland activity for a movie than a staring match? I can’t, and I’ve seen some real piles of shit. Sarah and Miles play a game called, “staring” with each other, and it’s every bit as pointless as it sounds. The idea behind the direction is, “Let’s show off his different colored eyes that are the big tip-off that he is the killer reincarnated.” It flops hard because staring matches are inherently boring.
There were some interesting bits and some decent scares. There was even an extremely unnerving scene where Miles, a ten-year-old boy, climbs into bed with and creepily caresses his mother. It didn’t go anywhere interesting or terrible from there; it just kept going in monotone until it ended.
Final Recommendations
Teenagers or equivalent who have no barometer or taste. The movie has decent production but falls flat otherwise.
Upcoming Horror Movie Trailers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwSr1KnGPTo
The Trailer for Greta
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNp1LPm3Krs
The Curse of La Llorona Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKXvex7b1Ew
The Intruder Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK0LNzU2TQI
Pet Sematary Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THq6KlWgiqw
Happy Death Day 2U Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFy8ZgLd574
Child’s Play Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWbMckU3AOQ
Dark Phoenix Trailer
Piercing Review
Feb 06, 2019
Piercing is the story of man named Reed (played by Christopher Abbott) who is encouraged by his newborn baby to drug, kill, and dismember a prostitute in a hotel room. Murder isn’t as easy as it sounds, and after a Sitcom-esque introduction of Jackie the prostitute (played by Mia Wasikowska), his plans are inadvertently foiled. What follows is a weird sitcom trope of “will they, won’t they”, only referring to murder and not fucking.
Piercing is a stylistic short film plot that was convincingly stretched to a feature length film. The director Nicolas Pesce borrows skillfully from many of my favorite directors. There is a bit of Tarantino, some Wes Anderson, and a healthy dose of David Lynch are included throughout. There aren’t many scares, but lots of tension and surprising moments. The performances of both lead actors were captivating to watch and provided foundation for the unhinged plot.
https://youtu.be/7pj5u4r_eSE
The plot of Reed trying to kill a hooker only really serves as a framework to explore a murky dreamscape of Reed’s psyche and the mysterious intentions of Jackie. If you want a movie with a beginning, middle, and an end, you might have to settle for 2 out of 3. However, I can definitely say that Piercing was an enjoyable movie, and I can definitely recommend seeing it if you like art-house horror.
Piercing balances psychological horror and dark comedy adeptly while maintaining a fresh yet familiar style.
Piercing Movie Spoilers
Stylistically, this film reminded me of several other directors’ work:
Quentin Tarantino – The 70’s cool, yet time period ambiguous setting
Wes Anderson – The use of miniatures and the matter-of-fact absurd comedy
David Lynch – The surrealistic drug trips and dream logic
Paul Thomas Anderson – Specifically Punch Drunk Love with the slightly twisted yet still somehow wholesome interaction between the leads.
Reed is an unreliable narrator and several times throughout the film, he is encouraged to go through with killing a prostitute. Those encouraging him in order are:
His newborn baby
The hotel clerk
His wife
It is obvious that something is not right with Reed, and that he is at the very least a paranoid schizophrenic, and could also just as likely be dreaming.
Check Out Our Review of Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension!
Dream logic abounds with strange actions and conversational non-sequiturs. Towards the end of the film when Reed is tying up Jackie, he does so in a impotent and lazy wrap of the rope only around her wrists.
Piercing starts out with small doses of hallucinations and slowly descends to full a full on bad trip with a little girl stabbing bunny. It’s a wild ride, but enjoyable if you like stylistic psychological horror.
Final Recommendations
This is a great movie for people that like foreign films but don’t want to read subtitles. That sounds sarcastic, but if you watch it (which I suggest you do) it will make sense.
Check Out Our Guest Spot on We Shouldn’t Be Here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exvW7TbHEF8
Creepshow (1982) Review
Jan 30, 2019
I had a lot of fun watching Creepshow (1982). It’s presented in an entertaining way, has a ton of big names, and if you aren’t into the story, you can wait 20 minutes and see a new one because it’s a compilation of five horror stories. This was the only George A. Romero film to open at number one in the weekend box-office. It was a sleeper hit in theaters, and its charm is mostly to blame.
Creepshow Trailer
https://youtu.be/owdnnaNs2RI
Creepshow is a cult classic that has remained low on horror fan’s collective radar since it was released. It was directed by the great and powerful George Romero and written by Stephen King, so it already has a huge amount going for it. Add to it a cast that includes Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Ed Harris, Adrienne Barbeau, and Stephen King himself, and you have a horror gem.
Creepshow is comprised of five short horror stories that are each compelling and envelope-pushing and memorable. The acting is hammy, the actors are having fun, the stories are spooky but not hard to handle for the easily spooked horror fan. This movie is like a trip down to nostalgia town. Creepshow is a fun, funny, and scary movie that I had not seen before this, and will now revisit year after year.
While Creepshow is an excellent example of a cult classic, it’s too light and breezy to be much higher than an 8/10.
Spoilers
Creepshow is presented in a comic book format. They do some interesting paneling shots where the video is shown in the same way that a comic book panel would be presented. The motif is made to look eerily similar to the classic comic titles, Eerie and Creepy did, almost down to the T. It’s clear that these comics made a big difference in Stephen King’s childhood, and probably Romero’s as well.
This was Stephen King’s screenwriting debut, and it’s pulled off without all the confusing bullshit that is known to accompany much of his writing.
Father’s Day
The first of the stories that Creepshow has to offer is titled, “Father’s Day” and is the story of a well-to-do family who is reprehensible human beings whom each get their comeuppance.
The dead father was killed by his daughter, Bedelia, on Father’s day while being a real jerk to her. The rest of the family is rich and living off of daddy’s fortune. On this Father’s day, dad comes back from the grave to exact revenge on his ungrateful and equally terrible kids.
Father’s Day presents a bit of a lesson to the audience, which I took to be, you get what you give. Alternatively, don’t be a dick, especially when family is involved.
The second story is titled, “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”, which is based on the short story “Weeds.” This is a one-man-play starring the King himself as a goofy hillbilly who finds a meteorite that crashes to earth on his property. He touches it, which is enough to spell his doom. King, bumbles and stumbles around as his luck grows worse and worse until he finally is overcome by the plants that the meteorite brought to earth.
The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill was reminiscent of pulp mags and stories from the ’50s and ’60s. I enjoyed the special effects on this story quite a bit – tons of plants!
Something to Tide You Over
“Something to Tide You Over” is the third story in Creepshow, and it’s one of my favorites. This one stars Ted Danson as Harry, who is the victim to Leslie Nielsen’s wealthy psychopathic killer. Leslie’s wife has been cheating on him with Ted, and he exacts his revenge in an extremely creative, ocean-themed way. What he doesn’t bargain on is his revenge coming back to bite him.
“The Crate” is probably the longest and most notable story in Creepshow, and features a college janitor who drops a quarter underneath an old, forgotten stairwell. Upon closer inspection, he finds an old, forgotten crate under the stairs that dated back to the 19th century. He notifies Dexter Stanley, a college professor. They open the box to find one of the craziest movie monsters I can recall.
Of all the great practical effects, this monster, coined Fluffy, is the best. Fluffy has an incredible appetite and seems happy to live solely within the box that it’s been locked in for over a hundred years. I can’t believe how much room Fluffy has in his belly, because he ate, three, maybe four people.
The Crate had a great story about Northrup, whose old lady was a real bitch. The amount of revenge and comeuppance in The Crate works well.
This short left me with the same feeling that Raiders of the Lost Ark left me with – some treasures are sitting in some vault somewhere, waiting to be rediscovered.
“They’re Creeping Up on You” is the final installment in the short story horror powerhouse, Creepshow. They’re Creeping Up on You is short, effective and fun. It stars, E.G. Marshall as Upson Pratt who is a cruel and ruthless businessman who lives like Howard Hughes did, in a hermetically sealed apartment. He is a major dick and comes under attack from cockroaches.
Final Recommendations
Creepshow is such an interesting and fun crowd pleaser; I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for something “spooky” and fun. It’s a great palate cleanser and made me so interested in the series that I watched the sequel, Creepshow 2 (1987) which is somewhat less impressive.
Mandy Review
Jan 23, 2019
Have you ever lit your worst enemy on fire, decapitate them, and use their still burning severed head to light your cigarette? Better yet, have you seen Nicolas Cage do it? Mandy is an exercise in world bending drug trips, fantasy novels, 70’s & 80’s horror movie tropes, and insane revenge. It starts in the woods in 1983 and ends up in some crazy fantasy land that I don’t understand, but I love it nonetheless.
There is this trend in shows and movies right now that seeks to capitalize on the nostalgia of the 80’s. Some things do it quite well; others just make me feel like I’m being taken advantage of – Mandy is the former. Mandy is like a strange amalgamation of Turbo Kid, The Amityville Horror, Raising Arizona, and Stranger Things. The whole production is slow, methodical, and feels quite unhinged.
Mandy Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI054ow6KJk
Synopsis of Mandy
The story starts with Nicolas Cage and Andrea Riseborough (Mandy) living their best life in a nice little cabin in the forest. There is something slightly supernatural about Mandy, and she infatuates Cage. A van full of “Jesus Freaks” see Mandy walking down the road one day and the cult leader decides he can’t live without her. After that, this movie descends into some of the strangest territory that I can recall.
Written and directed by Panos Cosmatos with additional writing credits Aaron Stewart-Ahn, Mandy makes sure to pay homage to its roots. There are tons of callbacks and references to old-school horror, fantasy novels, music, and tropes. It’s mostly a mood piece, and the mood is drug-fueled.
Check Our Our Review of The Killing of a Sacred Deer
The music drones loudly and angrily, the setting morphs into a dark fantasy land, Cage turns into a bad ass narco messiah, it’s nuts.
My Rating
8/10
Mandy is insane. It features Cage in quite possibly the best way you can feature Cage, the same way Raising Arizona features him, as a normal, everyday lunatic.
Mandy Spoilers
Once the aforementioned Jesus freaks catch sight of Mandy and decide they need her in their cult, they make use of an artifact whistle that summons the four quad-men of the apocalypse. They are a motorcycle gang who has been turned into something eternal and perverse by some sort of trucker crank. This drug has altered the biker gang into super mutants who can be controlled by anyone who gives them more insane drugs.
The Jesus freaks give the quad-men some drugs and demand that they help kidnap Mandy, which they do while Cage and his girlfriend are asleep in their bed.
The Jesus freaks give Mandy some heinous psychedelics from a giant wasp, and the cult leader, Jeremiah (Linus Roache), tries to convince Mandy to sleep with him in front of his followers. Mandy openly laughs at an mocks Jeremiah, so he decides to sacrifice her in front of a bound and gagged Cage by lighting her on fire.
As it turns out, that was a mistake on Jeremiah’s part. Enter the rage Cage.
Cage becomes a man with a purpose – to kill anyone who was involved with the kidnapping and murder of Mandy. The movie morphs into a dark fantasy-horror landscape that was inspired by 70’s and 80’s fantasy novel covers.
Is Mandy Worth Watching?
To answer the question of, “Is Mandy worth watching?” please refer to the following list. Do you enjoy:
Revenge
Cults
Destroying cults
The 70’s
The 80’s
Fantasy novels
Psychedelic vibes
Bad ass weapons
Insane drug trips
Revenge
Apocalyptic themes and tropes
Burning religious imagery
Dark and sinister characters
Lude sexual acts
Horror movies
Tigers
Nicolas Cage in his element
Revenge
If you answered yes to some of these things, it’s probably worth a watch. Mandy is clearly on it’s way to becoming a cult classic of sorts, so watch it now on Amazon or in a limited release theater so that you can say you saw it on release.
Sleepaway Camp Review
Jan 16, 2019
This episode we review the cult classic Sleepaway Camp. This campy slasher combines the most horrifying elements of the eighties: over-the-top teen bullies, and casual pedophilia. Listen to Horror Movie Talk’s take on this fun thriller.
Sleepaway Camp is a 1983 teenage slasher that has become a bit of a cult classic. The film follows Angela Baker (played by Felissa Rose), a painfully shy girl recovering from the psychological trauma of a tragic boating accident as she attends a Summer Camp filled with 80’s teen movie villains. She is accompanied to camp with her cousin Ricky (played by Jonathan Tiersten) who at times is very protective towards her.
Pretty soon after camp starts, there are a series of murders. The camp owner Mel (played by Mike Kellin) does his best to keep the murders under wraps and becomes increasingly suspicious of Ricky as the victims seem to be people that have bullied Angela.
Sleepaway Camp Trailer
https://youtu.be/T9K2ARikYzE
This movie is a lot of fun and maintains a great balance of passable quality, campiness, and tastelessness that is essential for being granted cult status. The film gets most of its cred from its surprising conclusion, but it isn’t defined by it. This is a great time capsule of eighties teen movies that have that “Should I be watching this” vibe. Too mature for young viewers, and too much teenage sexuality for adults to feel comfortable watching. It’s that elusive 80’s vibe that Stranger Things, IT, and other shows that attempt to exploit.
The special effects sequences range from 50’s workplace safety videos to straight up graphic, gooey 80’s horror. The real charm of the movie comes from it’s non sequitur writing and acting. I found myself saying “What?!” or laughing out loud at unintentionally ridiculous moments.
This is a very campy movie, and as such, is tonally all over the place in a good way. Angela’s mother seems picked straight out of a 1930’s talkie. The teen villains are the kind only found in 80’s teen movies. Finally, Artie, the openly casual pedophile could only exist on film in the 80’s.
I particularly enjoyed the score of the film. It was repetative, but featured a full orchestral sound, with real orchestra stings to emphasize the horror. I wish more modern horror movies wouldn’t rely so much on ambient spooky soundscapes, and go back to full orchestras.
What really steals the show is the abundance of cock outlines. If you can remember that one scene in Juno where she is ogling the cross country team in their runner shorts, imagine that stretching for about 80 minutes. It’s distracting, and dare I say… Immodest.
Sleepaway Camp features dick outlines pretty heavily.
Most of all, what makes this movie great is it’s charm.
What doesn’t work
This mustache:
Fakest mustache in horror
Spoilers for Sleepaway Camp
This is the rare occurrence where naming the killer is the least relevant spoiler in the movie. If you don’t know the “twist” at the end, I won’t spoil it here. But just look at Angela’s face. You know she’s hiding something.
That being said, Angela was definitely the killer even though they heavily alluded to her brother being guilty. The filmmakers went as far as to have the actor playing her brother appear as a silhouette wearing a wig during one killing.
Final Recommendation
I highly recommend Sleepaway Camp. It proves that in many very important ways, you can’t recreate 80’s horror. This movie might not be for everyone, but if you are a fan of campy horror, or even just cult classics in general, you should enjoy this one as much as I did.
Sleepaway Camp as of the publish date of this episode is available on Shudder. Use “HMT” at checkout to get a 30 day free trial.
Escape Room Review
Jan 09, 2019
Escape Room is a movie best described as tense, fun, and bad in a good way. It has a solid premise and uses it in creative ways to up the tension and suspense for the audience. At times is goes over the top, but mostly in fun ways.
Escape Room is a thriller about a group of strangers who are brought together by an unknown presence that sends out a puzzle to each of them. When they complete the puzzle, it gives them an invitation to compete in a new, premier escape room in their area. The invitation claims that if they beat the escape room they can win $10,000! What they don’t know is that they are playing for their lives!
It’s is fun, funny, and terribly written. The dialog is laughable and made up of constant exposition about what is happening at any given moment is what makes this movie laughable. The bones of this movie are decent, and it’s pretty much exactly what I expected. Mostly I had such a fun time watching it with Bryce and being exasperated at the silly dialog that Escape Room ended being more fun than I expected it would be.
Watch the trailer here:
https://youtu.be/8W6yYBAUxv4
My Rating
5/10
Spoilers for Escape Room
Escape Room starts out by introducing us to the six narrators of the movie. I say narrators because every single action taken by every character in Escape Room is narrated with gusto by at least one of these six main characters.
Of the actors in Escape Room the two that you will probably notice the most from other projects are Amanda (Deborah Ann Woll) who you might remember as the redhead from True Blood, and Mike (Tyler Labine) who is Dale from Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. Tyler is also a producer on Dale and Tucker. One of the main character’s is Zoey (Taylor Russell) who I recognized from the recent Netflix show Lost in Space. Everyone else is an up-and-comer.
So, everyone gets the invitation and shows up to what they believe to be the lobby of the escape room. Turns out the lobby is the first room they have to escape, and quickly turns into an oven.
They make their way through six successive escape rooms as their numbers are thinned.
The one constant throughout all of the movie is that they are being watched by cameras that are set up throughout every escape room. The creators of the escape room use these cameras to monitor the subjects and broadcast the feed of human misery to nameless viewers on the web.
The different escape rooms include (in order):
Oven (hot)
Ice cabin (cold)
Upside down bar
Medical treatment facility
Trippy drug room
Squish you flat study
Several final levels/false endings
The Good and The Bad
The biggest problem I have with Escape Room is actually a bit of a strength for the movie – the laughably bad dialog and exposition. Everything in this movie is narrated by the characters; every action, every thought, every single part of this movie is narrated. It was bothersome at first, but then became so ridiculous and so dependable, it became a companion of sorts for me throughout the movie. I was able to look over at Bryce and see him roll his eyes and laugh every 10-15 seconds, and that was terrible and great at the same time.
This movie is not disjointed and hard to follow like Slenderman, it’s the opposite. It’s so easy to follow and so heavily narrated that it becomes a joke in and of itself.
Actual problems that stood out to me in this movie were some of the puzzles that the participants had to solve to beat the rooms. These puzzles were (sometimes) so specific to a single character’s personal trauma that only that character could solve the puzzle. So, it was movie kismet that happened to allow the participant who won the escape room to actually get through the whole thing.
The plot premise on Escape Room reminded me quite a bit of the plot premise of Unfriended: Dark Web. A shady dark web group is paying to see fucked up things happen to unwilling participants on the internet. Many have said that it’s similar to Saw – sure, that works too.
Overall, Escape Room was a tense, goofy thriller that had a few uncomfortable moments, but never anything bordering on “scary”. Going into this movie I was expecting the worst but ended up having a good time because of the way it was written and some fun acting.
Final Recommendation
Escape Room is a fun enough movie, but it’s nothing special. Watch it with friends and you will have a good time. Watch it alone at your peril.
Horror Movie News
The Prodigy Trailer
https://youtu.be/BC4cyYRxjFk
The director of The Prodigy is reworking some scenes because they were supposedly too scary. I just hope they leave enough scares in!
What Qualifies as “Horror”?
Check out this article written by Emily Von Seele for Bloody Disgusting about how everyone keeps trying to call horror movies anything other than “horror”. Listen to the podcast to hear our take.
Also, check out what Bryce thinks about the question.
This episode we review Bird Box, which is available to stream only on Netflix. It’s probably one of the best horror movies of 2018. Even though it was released the Friday before Christmas, it has already been watched over 45 million times according to Netflix.
Bird Box tells the story of Mallorie (played by Sandra Bullock) as she experiences the fallout of a worldwide invasion of monsters that cause people to commit suicide if you look at them. The survivors of the invasion figure out that they must block their view with blindfolds or window coverings to resist the influence of the unseen creatures.
The non-linear narrative jumps between the onset of the global disaster where Mallorie finds herself holed up with a motley crew of survivors, and five years after the fact when Mallorie is floating down a river with two small children trying to get to safety. Will they make it? Is it a happy ending? …You’ll just have to …SEE it.
Watch the trailer here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INJ2bPFy108
There is a star studded cast that give great performances. Notably Sarah Paulson in her small role as Mallorie’s Sister, and Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight), the love interest. John Malkovich is also in it. It’s directed by Susanne Bier which has mostly just directed dramas and romances, but she has shown her skill with this movie.
This is a really high quality movie that I’m kind of shocked wasn’t released in theaters. It would have done great, as evidenced by it’s record breaking first week on Netflix. It’s very tonally similar to A Quiet Place, and that’s only helps it. There is a lot of creative problem solving on display in this movie, but most notably, this movie is a great example of how to not show the monster. Another great compliment I can pay to this movie is that all of the characters’ actions made sense. Any time that I was yelling at the screen, it was from dramatic irony, not because of a stupid character decision. The writing was very good at building the world and communicating the situation in a very short period of time. Lots or really tense moments and great payoffs throughout.
My Rating
9/10
Spoilers for Bird Box
First, let me say, that this movie has some of the best scared faces of the year. If there was an Oscar for best scared face, I think Sarah Paulson and Lil Rey Howery would get nominated.
Second, every time I see John Malcovich, I think of this interview of Matt Damon talking about working with him the first time on Rounders:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMaAT_KPSs4
Alright, lets get to the rest of the movie. There are some great moments of tension in this movie that don’t rely on characters making stupid decisions. This is difficult for some horror movies for some reason. Two moments in particular are very effective and had me clutching the air.
First, the scene where it is revealed that Gary, played by Tom Hollander, is an acolyte for the monster. Some people may think it’s cheap that this reveal happens as the births were happening, but to me, it just made it more effective. It served as a prime moment of distraction for Gary to make his move.
The next part that I was clawing at the armrests was towards the end of the movie when Mallorie is separated from the children, and the monster is trying to trick the children to take off their masks in the voice of Mallorie. It was the penultimate scene of the movie and was so effective because at this point, you understand that the detachment that Bullock’s character is displaying towards the children throughout the movie is just a facade.
She cares deeply and has masked her attachment to protect the children in case something happens to her. During the scene where they are separated, it is nerve-wracking because all of her effort could be for naught.
Well, if you’re reading this spoiler section, you might want to know what happens in the end. Like my wife, who is a horror lightweight asked me: “is it a happy, or a sad ending?”. Well, it’s a happy ending. It might seem like an obvious choice, but throughout the movie, it truly felt like it could go either way. They killed Sarah Paulson’s character within the first 15 minutes, so they weren’t going to shy away from a super depressing ending if they wanted to.
To say that it is a happy ending, isn’t to say that it is cheap. The ending most of all just feels satisfying. It has a slight reveal that makes sense, but mostly it is satisfyingly because it ties up the thematic material so well. Mainly surviving vs living, and human connection.
Final Recommendation
If you liked A Quiet Place, then you should like this movie. It’s not as derivative of it as you might think, it is just very tonally similar. The acting is excellent throughout, as well as the direction. The story and thematic material are handled adeptly while maintaining a steady pace of tension and release. You should definitely see it.
Gremlins Review
Dec 26, 2018
If you don’t know what Gremlins is about, what the fuck are you doing? This is a movie about a Mogwai, and the sleepy little town of Kingston Falls, that wakes up to a very unusual Christmas day!
It’s single-handedly responsible for a HUGE section of horror, now basically known as Gremlins knock-offs. The list of Gremlin knock-offs is long and includes:
Gremlins is an iconic movie in many ways. It’s got Steven Spielberg’s stink all over it despite being directed by Joe Dante. An interesting thing about Bryce, he loves Steven Spielberg, and because he was the Executive producer on this, I bet Bryce has a worthwhile take on Gremlins. Listen to the podcast to find out more on Bryce’s takes on Steven Spielberg.
Gremlins starts in my favorite way, in a bustling set of Chinatown, where a young boy leads Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) down into his grandfather’s shop of Asian artifacts. Randall Peltzer has an interesting through line in this movie, in that he is a shitty inventor unless you count creating inventions that kill Gremlins well.
Anyway, the old Chinese grandfather/curator of the shop, Mr. Wing (Keye Luke), warns Mr. Peltzer that the cute Mogwai isn’t for sale but the grandkid can’t turn down the money, and Mr. Peltzer walks away with Gizmo. But not before being given very specific rules for dealing with the Mogwai.
The rules for keeping Mogwai are simple:
Keep them out of the light.
No water.
Don’t feed after midnight.
So Gizmo goes home and eventually all the rules are broken, and we are given Gremlins. Gremlins are sadistic and mean, and they mean nothing but trouble for the town of Kingston Falls.
How Gremlins Die
Gremlins is a movie that holds nothing sacred, except maybe movie tropes. Watch Gremlins to see all the interesting ways that you can kill the Gremlins in your life.
We get to see Gremlins killed with:
A knife
Food processor
Microwave
Sword
Sword/fireplace combo
Light
Car
And more!
Tropes in Gremlins
Gremlins is a movie about tropes. Here are some of the most impressive tropes that Gremlins sticks to:
Black man is first to die.
Rules are made to be broken.
School as a place of horror.
Alien blood, I.E. blood that is colored differently to make it appear strange.
Damsel in distress.
Mythical creatures.
Action mom.
Asshole victim.
Bad people abuse animals
Bungling inventor.
Crazy cat lady.
Police are useless.
The Dad in The Chimney Subplot
The dad in the chimney subplot is one of my very favorite parts of this movie for a few different reasons. Kate Beringer (Pheobe Cates) is finally convinced to share the story of why Christmas is her least favorite holiday. She tells the tale of Christmas Eve, the night her father went missing. Days went by, and there was no sign of her father.
Finally, it became cold in the house, so she went to light the fire, where she noticed a foul smell. Turns out, Her dad tripped and fell while trying to surprise her for Christmas and wedged himself in the chimney, where he died. So many things are wrong with this:
What are you doing on the roof when trying to surprise your child?
Why go down the chimney, have you seen a chimney?
Why did it take so long to find him? Didn’t he yell and scream?
How long does the house go cold for before you light a fire?
How much do you hate your father for being a blithering idiot?
I love this story. I love this movie. If you haven’t seen it, or haven’t seen it in a while, it’s a fabulous time.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension Review
Dec 24, 2018
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is available to stream on Amazon and is probably the weakest movie in the Paranormal Activity franchise. This is a Christmas horror movie as the whole thing involves a house with a Christmas tree in it. Let’s face it, that’s as close to Christmas horror as you should want to get. It does do that satisfying thing that all the Paranormal Activities do which is tie back into the others nicely.
If you want to watch Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
https://youtu.be/zR2cc1BwdmI
Remember Toby? The demon from the Paranormals is back in this movie, where he focuses on an entirely new family who bought a house that was built on the same site as the house from the third movie. The house from the third movie burned down, and this is what’s there now. This family has a child who becomes the focus of the demon Toby.
Watch Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension Full Movie
Ghost Dimension was released in 2015, and it was the scariest thing of all…a 3D movie. They took a good premise and fucked it out, pretty hard.
My Rating
5/10
Quick Summary of Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension
Ghost Dimension stars a family of three: the dad Ryan (Chris J. Murray), mom Emily (Brit Shaw), five-year-old daughter Leila (Ivy George).
It starts light and ends heavy, like most Paranormal Activities. The family who lives in this palatial house is being visited by a super sexy family friend, Skylar, who parades her jubblies around like everyone’s business. Skylar is played by the stunning Olivia Taylor Dudley.
Check Out Our Review Of A Truly Scary Movie, Terrified!
Mike, Ryan’s brother who is fresh out of a long-term relationship, is also visiting the family during Christmas. Dan Gill plays Mike.
Ryan and his brother, Mike find a box outside while putting up Christmas lights. The box contains a bunch of VHS tapes and a souped-up video recorder that would make Doc from Back to the Future jealous. The camera allows the user to view the Ghost Dimension.
These tapes reveal a good portion of footage from the ’80s where the original sisters Katie and Kristi were used by the cult present in the third and fourth movie to foretell the future and communicate with Toby.
The Problems With Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
One of the many problems with this movie is that it focuses too much on boring 3D visual effects. There is a soupy 3D fog that the viewing audience is constantly forced into by whoever is piloting the ultra-camcorder. It’s supposed to be spooky but ends up being boring.
There are quite a few visual effects in this movie that are cool to look at, but not as effective as a real person standing over their significant other for three hours or more while they sleep at night. There is some goop that shoots from floor to ceiling, and some demon figures that zoom around so fast you can’t make out more than a blur of movement. Overall these effects don’t do a lot for Ghost Dimension.
Another issue that Ghost Dimension suffers from is showing the spook. The reason the Paranormal Activity series work is partially because you don’t get to see the spook, you just get the aching feeling that it’s there. The Ghost Dimension replaces the effective nothing, with a shitty something, and ruins the whole thing that made the series work in the first place.
As far as found footage goes, this is a pretty weak entry to the genre. They don’t use the stationary cams that made Paranormal Activity stand out as a series. Instead, they decided to go with, not a shaky cam, but a handheld camcorder. The dreadful feeling of being forced to look at a still frame for 15 seconds at a time is done away with and replaced with a format that tells you where to look instead of forcing your eye to find the action.
What Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension Does Right
Ghost Dimension does a good job of capitalizing on the story of the Paranormal movies. It’s eerie to see how the VHS tapes refer to the family in real time. Having a little girl in a pre-recorded VHS do live commentary on me watching TV would be enough for me to shit my pants, so I give Ghost Dimension credit for that.
It’s also part of one of my very favorite movie franchises of all time, so while I am able to really focus on the bad, overall it’s a solid “C” of a movie. It had a good budget and some decent acting.
If you are a sucker for found footage movies, The Ghost Dimension will be right up your alley. If you have friends who are very satisfying jumpers during jump scares, it will be fun.
If you want to watch Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Review
Dec 19, 2018
This week, we rented Silent Night, Deadly Night and to be honest, it might be one of my new favorite horror movies.
https://youtu.be/hNBJfv5pIdY
Silent Night, Deadly Night can be found for rent on Google Play, iTunes, YouTube, and VUDU. If you want to own the recently release Blu-ray edition, click through to Amazon.
Silent Night, Deadly Night is about a young man named Billy who witnessed the murder of his parents at the hands of a criminal in a santa suit. Since then, Billy grew up in a catholic orphanage where his traumatic childhood has been stringently repressed by the Mother Superior and has been imbued with a strict and black and white morality. Billy is still terrified by Santa even as an adult, but one fateful Christmas Eve, he is asked to be Santa Claus for the store he works at. That experience along with a series of events brings Billy to the point of a psychotic break, and he begins a killing spree dressed as Santa.
It’s awesome.
Silent Night, Deadly Night is the best version of this movie that I can imagine. The script is way tighter than it needs to be in terms of setting up and executing the major moving pieces of the plot. This is a exploitative slasher, that doesn’t have any delusions of grandeur, but is more enjoyable than most slasher movies I have ever seen.
Billy’s character is terrifying as well as pitiable. Some of the killings have real weight to them, though most are as cheap as any slasher death. There is a lot of creativity is the methods of killing, and since you actually kind of care about the main character, there is a constant tension on how it will play out for him in the end. I highly recommend you watch it this Christmas Season.
A lot of things work about this movie. As I stated before, the writing in this was way better than it needed to be. I expected a movie about a killer Santa to much lower effort and production value than this movie delivered. The motivations of Billy as he turns into a killer are logical and presented in a compelling way.
After getting scared by his grandpa about Santa and then having his fears confirmed by witnessing his parents’ death at the hands of Kris Kringle, he undertandable has some baggage about Santa. Not satisfied with that set up alone, the screenwriters augment Billy’s mental issues with Santa with a strict Catholic upbringing, including sexual shame. So needless to say, Billy is a ticking time bomb by the time he is an adult.
Another indication that the writing in this movie is of higher quality is that I actually cared about the characters. I cared about Billy and his fate because he was a three dimensional character. I also cared about some of his victims, especially Pamela, whose death seemed tragic in the moment.
The other thing I love about this movie is the original music. This is another example of demonstrated artistic care given to a movie that no one on the surface would take seriously. The original Christmas carols in particular are fantastic, and really add to the slightly off feeling throughout the movie. These Christmas carols sound deceptively cheery, but have weirdly ominous lyrics. Here is one that I’ve had stuck in my head ever since watching the movie:
https://youtu.be/yp3vpOZ23uk
I’m not a big fan of slashers, but I must say that I enjoyed the creativity of some of the deaths. I don’t think that Billy killed anyone the same way twice. We had:
Christmas light strangulation
Box cutter disemboweling
Claw hammer to the head
Arrow to the spine
Stabbed with antlers
Defenestration
Axe beheading
Axe to the Chest
Sometimes these deaths came from out of the blue, and were super effective.
What Didn’t Work
To be honest, there wasn’t really anything I didn’t like about this movie. I’m sure that others will point out bad acting, and exploitative nudity, but we’re talking about a slasher here. There are always some flaws that come with the territory with slashers. This isn’t high art, but it is entertaining, and Silent Night, Deadly Night is a higher quality slasher compared to most.
Black Christmas Review
Dec 12, 2018
If you loved the story of Ralphie and his red ryder b-b gun in A Christmas Story, then you’ll love this other Christmas classic by Bob Clark. In Black Christmas, the Pi Kappa Sigma Sorority receives a strange and obscene phone calls during their Christmas party right before Christmas break. The reactions to the phone call range from disgust and offence to amusement. Barb played by Margo Kidder fires back her own obscenities in return, to which the phone call ends with a sobering “I’m going to kill you”.
The faceless killer, which can be described most accurately as a maniac, then stalks and kills several inhabitants of Pi Kappa Sigma. The sorority tries to get the police to take them seriously when they can’t find a missing sister, but the police don’t take any action until a dead body shows up in the park.
There’s also a relationship storyline that you won’t care about.
Black Christmas Review
Black Christmas was an interesting movie, but not the most entertaining. There were a lot of firsts in this movie, and much better horror movies have stolen from it to greater effect:
I believe it’s the first movie with the “The call’s coming from inside the house”, but is outdone by When A Stranger Calls
It’s not technically the first first-person perspective for the killer, but definitely influenced the much better Halloween
It was definitely the first “holiday” horror movie though.
With all these interesting first’s you would think that this would be great movie, but the sum is lesser than it’s parts and it ends up being rather dull. It’s not gory enough to satisfy the slasher connoisseur, and it’s not dreadful enough to be a great psychological horror; it’s just…ok at both. It’s dark and has a cinema verite feel to it, but it undercuts itself with clumsy attempts at humor. There are some things that work, mainly the phone calls and the cinematic treatment of the killer, but the main plot and the characters are just meh.
Check Out Our Review of Silent Night, Deadly Night!
Black Christmas can be found streaming on Shudder right now. If you don’t have a shudder account, use promo code HMT at checkout to get a 30 day free trial. You can also find it on DVD or Blu-ray at Amazon. Be sure to click through the link on our website to support the show.
My Rating
4/10
Spoilers
You would expect a spoiler to be who the killer was, but in this movie, that is never revealed. The killer is presented as pretty much a crazy person that wandered into their attic off the street. In fact the killer’s face is never shown. It is easy to see how Halloween was originally written as a sequel to Black Christmas.
I guess one spoiler is that the killer is calling from inside the house, but given that you are shown that the killer is lying in wait in the attic the whole time, this doesn’t come as much of a surprise.
Overall this was a pretty straightforward film. A killer kills off sorority girls, and more!
Is Black Christmas Worth Seeing?
Your mileage may vary, full disclosure, I was pretty tired when watching this one, so the 70’s pacing probably wore on me more than normal. The best part of the movie is the killer’s phone calls, but those may be best experienced in clip form so you don’t have to sit through the melodrama of the story line. However, if you are a horror academic and want to see an influential movie, this is a good choice for the holiday season.
The House That Jack Built Review
Dec 05, 2018
The House that Jack Built isn’t getting a wide release until December 14th, but we went to a one night only showing of the director’s cut a month early at the Cinema 21 in Portland. So this is a rare instance where we can provide a review well in advance of a wide release.
https://youtu.be/c6DuLPGZIoQ
The film tells the story of an unassuming, yet prolific serial killer named Jack. It’s told through a series of 5 short vignettes of some of his notable kills. It’s told over the course of 12 years from the mid-late 70’s to the mid-late 80s and takes place in the rural Pacific NorthWest of the United States. Jack’s nom de guerre is Mr. Sophistication, which he writes on the grisly photos he takes of his victims.
Throughout the film Jack’s descriptions of his personal condition, problems and thoughts are told through a recurring conversation with the unknown “Verge”. Jack views himself as a sophisticated man and the story is told through his own mixture of arrogant and narcissistic sophistry.
The House That Jack Built Review
If that sounds like a pretty pretentious serial killer movie, well, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. The film is directed by Lars Von Trier, who also directed all of those art house movies you meant to see but never got around to. Jack is played by Matt Dillon, which is probably the best part of the movie. I thought he did a fantastic job portraying a psychopath pantomiming normal human facial expressions and when required had great comedic timing.
Jack acts as the films unreliable narrator, and tells the story of his failings and mental illness from his elevated perspective of himself and his “art”. Jack’s victims include the likes of Uma Thurman, Siobhan Fallon Hogan (that lady from MIB), and Riley Keough among others. The death scenes where genuinely disturbing, and acted as punctuation for Jack’s ruminations.
I appreciated that they didn’t dwell on the fetishization of the killings themselves, they were handled more or less matter-of-factly which to me, makes them more impactful. It definitely delves into the distasteful and absurd with his storage and… use of the bodies.
I could see how this film could be viewed as too pretentious for it’s own good, but somehow it worked for me. We saw the director’s cut, so there was definitely some fat that could be cut to improve pacing and make it slightly less art-housey, but I found myself laughing and cringing at the right moments.
My Rating
7/10
Spoilers
This is a serial killer movie that definitely pushes the envelope. Many of the killing scenes seem a little too real, and feel a little like watching a sudden snuff film. Uma Thurman’s character all but dares Jack to murder her and he obliges. It’s almost expected. The other murders are expected, but what is surprising is their brutality and grotesqueness.
The point at which the film really changes tone is when Jack murders a small family on a supposed hunting picnic. Little does the woman and her children know that they are the ones hunted. The set up sounds like a generic 90’s thriller, but in this movie, it is a cold and brutal sequence where you get to experience the murder of children in the first person.
Then to double down on the tastelessness, Jack taxidermy’s one of the young boys to greet him for when he enters his body storage fridge.
If you’re like me and can compartmentalize this type of violence and can appreciate the absurdity and gallows humor of the likes of The Human Centipede, then this movie might be of interest to you. The eponymous house of this film is proof enough that Lars Von Trier isn’t as interested in high art as Jack “Mr. Sophistication” is.
Check Out Our Review of The Killing of a Sacred Deer!
The real spoiler to share is that the voice that we hear throughout the movie that accompanies Jack’s voiceover is none other than Virgil, the author of the Aeneid who reprises his role from Dante’s Inferno by leading Jack through the depths of hell. This is portrayed very literally in the epilogue, and is one of the most striking sequences in the film.
At times indulgent, the epilogue is a uniquely cinematic portrayal of a very mythic style of storytelling. It concludes with Jack faced with the choice of accepting his fate and living eternity in a slightly better hell, or tempting fate and falling into the deepest depths of hell. Given what we are told about Jack and his innate desire for self destruction and wanting to be caught, the choice is obvious, but also an effective moral bow to tie up the movie.
Is The House That Jack Built Worth Seeing?
I would say yes with the caveat that it isn’t for everyone. If you like your horror movies quickly paced, then move on. This one takes its time, but to sometimes excellent effect. If you have an art-house taste, this is right up your alley. In general it’s not great, but definitely better than average. Dillon’s performance is worth the price of admission, and the storytelling is unique and interesting given that the serial killer sub-genre can often be so stale and bland in its execution.
The Ritual Review
Nov 28, 2018
ALL HAIL NETFLIX! Now that we have that out of the way let’s talk about The Ritual, a Netflix original movie that was released on the streaming platform in February of 2018. I can’t believe that movies of this caliber, that is to say, theatrical release worthy movies, are created in the quiet depths of a streaming platform. I didn’t hear much about the production of this movie. Instead, it just showed up on my Netflix suggestion bar, and I watched it. There must be a better way to hype these things, right? Anyway, The Ritual is a well-done horror movie that capitalizes on the natural spookiness of camping and the woods.
The Ritual Trailer
https://youtu.be/Vfugwq2uoa0
I don’t know if you are a camper, but I am. For years I worked a job that had me camping for a good portion of the year as I maintained trails in a National Forest. I got quite used to camping in the backcountry, but the thought never left some primordial part of my brain, “What if something was out there?”
The Ritual is very good at capitalizing on this fear of the dark, quiet, forest primeval. It’s the best thing that this movie has going for it – it’s also what makes me a little angry at The Ritual. I enjoy camping – I don’t want potential campers to be too scared to miss the greatness of the outdoors.
Before I launch into the review, I want to use The Ritual as an example of a trend I’ve come to expect in horror movies – predictable titling. Horror movie titles have devolved a bit from something interesting like Friday The 13th, or A Nightmare on Elm Street to something extremely cookie-cutter-ish:
Do you see a through-line here? Just something that has been niggling at me. Bring back the interesting titles. The one-word titles and the “The” titles are effective but played out.
Back to The Ritual review!
Quick Summary of The Ritual
The Ritual starts off with some old college friends who are having a night out on the town in England (their home). As they leave the bar, two of the five head into a liquor store to grab something to make night-caps with and find themselves in the midst of a robbery. Our protagonist, Luke (Rafe Spall) hides while his friend is beaten brutally and killed for not producing his wedding ring.
Fast forward a year. The four remaining friends, Luke, Phil (Arsher Ali), Hutch (Robert James-Collier), and Dom (Sam Troughton) decide to go on the hike that their dead pal would have wanted to go on with them – the Kings Trail in Sweden. As they head down the trail, Dom sprains his leg in a frighteningly realistic portrayal of the kind of dumb movement it takes to sprain your leg.
The group argues and squabbles until they decide that going off-trail and cutting through the forest would be faster than, you know, being smart and staying on the trail.
Once they enter the forest, things break down. It’s a scary forest. It’s got plenty of shots over overly-dense trees with something moving ever so slightly in the distance. It’s got abandoned cabins and all sorts of effective tropes.
Throughout The Ritual, Luke is plagued by vivid waking dreams where he is forced to relive the fearful night where his friend was killed, and he stood by doing nothing.
My Rating for The Ritual
7/10
This is on the low side of the seven spectra. It is a serviceable horror movie and has a lot going for it regarding production and acting. The script and character development are a bit clunky at times. The four friends argue so much that it prevents any real introspection or interesting character developments from taking place. However, I give The Ritual some leeway in this script and character development department because the panic that would be present in the circumstances that it places these four guys in could easily produce these, somewhat bothersome yelling matches.
Spoilers for The Ritual
This movie will totally cut it for a fun night of terror. If you are looking to sit down and have something suck you in, tumble you around and spit you out, this is it. In the long-run, this isn’t a game changer. I do expect it to age well and be added to the list of perfectly acceptable and effective horror movies.
If you prefer the monster to stay hidden, as I do, you will be disappointed by The Ritual. It has a big, scary, moose monster with a roast turkey for a head. When the remaining two guys stumble upon a village within the forest, they learn that the village is held captive by the moose monster, which is described to them as being a god. Everyone who lives in the village bears the mark of this beast and is expected to worship this moose monster.
The vibe I got was that this was a metaphor for fear. The monster chose people who had very intense fear and regret to worship him. The metaphor being, fear can rule your life. Eventually Luke faces his fears, stands up to the monster and finds his way out of the woods.
Is The Ritual Worth Seeing?
Yep, you should watch it. Solid horror movie that leaves you with a little bit of something extra to think about at the end. How does fear affect your day-to-day life? Does fear control you, make you worship it? It’s part of what I like about horror movies, I get to stand up to something scary and see how I fare against it.
You might not want to camp after this.
What Do You Think? Leave A Comment Below
How do you think The Ritual Stacks up? Leave a comment below and let us know!
Hereditary Review
Nov 21, 2018
If you want to watch Hereditary, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
If you haven’t seen Hereditary, and you are reading this, STOP! Watch the movie. It’s available to stream on Amazon.
I don’t want to argue about this, go now, watch it. Here is the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/V6wWKNij_1M
You should go into this movie knowing nothing about it. I say this with certainty because I went in to see Hereditary without knowing a darn thing about it, and it was a transcendent experience. I didn’t know it was a horror movie; I didn’t know it was about interpersonal relationships, I didn’t know anything. That’s a slight lie; I knew that the movie had a very disturbing scene that polarized viewers and made many walk out of movie theaters.
Ari Aster, the director, has made a masterpiece.
I go into most movies knowing almost nothing about them. I don’t seek out trailers. I don’t look for release dates, which has had to change a little bit given the launch of this site and the podcast. I went into this movie knowing nothing, and it made for the wildest ride I could have possibly imagined. The build in tension, the crumbling family relationships, the fact that you can see and understand every major character’s point of view even though they are wildly conflicting – this movie is a high water mark in horror and for cinema in general.
My Rating
10/10
Hereditary will be so uncomfortable for some that they will generally find it distasteful. This is not a jump scare horror movie. This is an Exorcist, a Rosemary’s Baby, a Psycho.
Spoilers
There is so much to this movie that one watching isn’t enough. Everything about Hereditary is intentional and of the highest quality. The writing, the characters, the acting, the sets, the tension – it’s all great. The more I watch it, the more I realize how rich the world that they have crafted is and how it turns Hereditary into an experience instead of just another movie.
I’m not going to go in-depth with the spoilers here because it just wouldn’t do the movie justice. There is a version of this story that I think would make a powerful novel, but so much of the integral parts of this movie are based on visual keys and clues that I think that film is where this story was meant to be. If you want spoilers on this movie, listen to our podcast, we will be diving deep on this one.
The story is centered around Annie (Toni Collette), her husband Steve (Gabriel Byrne), son Peter (Alex Wolff), and daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro). It starts following the death of Annie’s mother, who as it turns out was controlling and terrible to her family.
Toni Collette is a tour de force in this movie. Her acting is so impressive, her emotions so raw that you really can’t help but empathize with her even when she is clearly circling the drain and moving toward a mental break.
There are two reasons Hereditary is so effective the first of which is it primarily focuses on a normal family unit, who thanks to circumstances beyond there control, is thrown into extreme strife. Everyone has faced familial issues, but the ones in this movie are your worst nightmare – the things you hope never to have to experience.
The second reason Hereditary is so effective is that despite that fact that each family member is essentially pitted against the others, you can see all of their points of view very clearly. As a viewer, you understand and empathize with every family member in this movie. You have experienced every niggling bit of anger, guilt, love, and miscommunication that Hereditary throws at you.
You’ve been the guilty son or daughter, you’ve worried about your kids or family members, you’ve hated them at times and felt the guilt that hatred brings.
As a horror movie, Hereditary starts out as a single note of dread in an echo chamber – slowly, the note builds in volume and is joined by more notes until you are overwhelmed. If the title weren’t “Hereditary,” it could have easily been “Dread.” There are no real jump scares. Instead, it relies on tension, time, and toying with your emotions to achieve something far more effective – something that sticks with you for weeks after watching.
Most modern cinematography has ditched the long, well-crafted panning shots in favor of cuts and close-ups. In this movie, you see a bit of a return to the well-crafted scenes and long panning shots that made movies like Psycho great.
Is Hereditary Worth Seeing?
Let’s put it this way. A large part of the reason this podcast exists is that of the energy that Hereditary gave to Bryce and me. We saw it with Bryce’s friend Kevin whom I had met minutes before the movie started. After the movie, which was the late showing, we saw fit to sit down at a bar and have drink so we could discuss this movie. Every time I saw Bryce after that, we couldn’t help but gush over how it was still in our heads.
At this point, I’ve hyped it too much, which is what I tend to do. I’ve shown this movie to a few people, and not everyone agrees with me on it. As always, let us know what you think about Hereditary in the comments section, or on social media!
If you want to watch Hereditary, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Special Thanks
Special thanks to Simon Morkvenas for editing this episode out of the kindness of his heart.
Overlord Review
Nov 14, 2018
If you want to watch Overlord, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon linkto help us support the podcast.
Overlord was fun, very loud, and not to be taken too seriously.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/USPd0vX2sdc
Overlord is a fun action-horror movie with intense emphasis on disturbing body horror and super stereotypical Nazi bad guys.
It’s got everything you need for an action movie – incredible sound, crazy intense physical fights, gun battles, chase scenes, you name it. It also has plenty of disturbing imagery that works well and makes you say, “Boy, those Germans sure were mean dudes!”
All the elements to make this a “fun horror movie,” are present. Overlord provided me with all my favorite things – WWII, Nazi killing, fun horror, drugs, and a decently tight script.
Overlord is a movie about a few American paratroopers in WWII dropped behind enemy lines in France. Their mission is to destroy a radio tower in a church that has been occupied by the Germans and converted into a radio tower, and much more.
The main character is named Boyce, played by Jovan Adepo, who is English. His superior is named Ford; I’m sorry I don’t remember the rank. Ford is played by the dreamy Wyatt Russell. They are joined by the most stereotypical set of WWII companions that you can imagine, including Tibbet – the most NY Italian American I’ve ever seen. Tibbet is played by John Magaro.
Eventually, they bump into the sexiest French girl I’ve ever seen, Chloe (Mathilde Ollivier) who helps them in their journeys to kill Nazi’s and do drugs.
Overlord is Produced by J.J. Abrams, and it feels like it. It was directed by Julius Avery, who is relatively unknown.
Rating
7/10
Spoilers
This movie starts with one of the most intense action sequences I’ve ever seen. The plane trip to the drop zone the night before D-Day, which quickly turns into a fight for life. I can honestly say that I haven’t seen such an intense action sequence in movie theaters since Saving Private Ryan.
Overlord is a great movie to see in theaters because of how incredibly loud and violent it is. Everything about this film screams, “great theater experience.” Head to a theater with a confirmed great sound system to get the full experience.
The good portion of the movie is spent inside Chloe’s house where her suspiciously sick aunt and cute little brother live. In this house, we learn of Chloe’s rape relationship with a Nazi SS leader, Wafner (Pilou Asbaek). We also learn about how deep the evil of Nazis run when the little boy rolls his baseball to a Nazi soldier. The soldier picks up the ball, sneers, and hocks a big loogy on it before throwing it back to the kid. What an inhuman monster!
This brings up an interesting observation – we all hate Nazis. They are bad. Overlord gives us a look, although maybe a slightly exaggerated one, at the thing we should hate. Intolerance and hatred incarnate. Maybe Overlord gives us something to unite under, a vision of what we should strive not to be. Plus, Overlord slaughter’s Nazis and zombie Nazis in massive quantities, so there’s that.
As our American protagonists fight their way to the church, they learn about fiendish experiments that the Nazis have been conducting on the dead, bringing them back to life with some sort of drug they have been extracting from underneath the hallowed ground of the church.
Eventually, they get their hands on the drug, run some experiments of their own, and find out that it brings the dead back to life and makes a living into superhumans.
Is Overlord Worth Seeing?
If you enjoyed Wolfenstein in any capacity, you would like this movie. If you love action, this is a great movie. If you are looking for lots of body horror, this is your thing. If you are looking for a deep, think piece, this isn’t your deal. If you want historical accuracy, this probably should be avoided.
If you have a killer sound setup at home, you must test it out with Overlord.
Horror Movie News
Check out the silliest Vogue article ever, where Taylor Antrim suggests that 2018 was tame on horror. More importantly check out Brad Miska’s Bloody Disgusting article that slams Taylor for such ignorance.
Finally, get excited for the most fucked up holiday movie trailer I’ve ever seen, Hanukkah.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/4dNdUGbhjY8
If you want to watch Overlord, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Suspiria (2018) Review
Nov 07, 2018
If you want to watch Suspiria (2018), please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
We went and saw Suspiria, and there is a lot to unpack with this one…
https://www.youtube.com/embed/3uGIEY7tdg8
Suspiria takes place in the politically tumultuous 1977’s Berlin and follows a young woman, Susie Bannion, played by Dakota Johnson, seeking out her dream to dance in the famed Tanz Dance Academy under her idol Madame Blanc, played by Tilda Swinton.
Not everything is right in the dance academy. The movie opens with a frantic and distressed dancer Patricia, played by Chloe Grace Moretz, visiting her psychiatrist, Dr. Josef Klemperer, played by…Lutz Ebersdorf (We’ll get to him later).
Patricia’s frantic and panicked statements about the academy come off as schizophrenic and delusional to Dr. Klemperer, but are an omen of things to come. We find out that the dance studio is undergoing a crisis of leadership as the company is split between having the unseen founder, Helena Markos, continue as the president (?) or Madame Blanc, the artistic director.
As Susie gets integrated into the dance studio and quickly ascends to the principal dancer, Dr. Klemperer and another dancer named Sara, played by Mia Goth investigate what is going on at Tanz Dance Academy.
This is undeniably a good movie, but depending on your tastes and comfort level, it might not be worth seeing. David was HIGHLY disturbed by this movie.
The film deals with many different concepts at once, and features many concurrent protagonists, so there is a lot going on at the same time. At 2 hours and 32 minutes, there is plenty of time to explore the characters and themes, but I still came away with questions about what exactly I just witnessed.
While trying to navigate the labyrinthian plot, the viewer is exposed to some of the most disturbing body horror in recent memory. The film is very dark, paranoid, and nihilistic.
The acting is superb, and fills in the gaps of the script, that really doesn’t do you a lot of favors in spelling out what is going on. It is a very effective film and should stick with you and give you plenty to talk about with your friends.
The production design and music are very strong in this movie, even though they may disappoint fans of the original 1977 Suspiria. The production design reminded me of the “Cheer up Charlie” part of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
The music is sparse but matches wonderfully with the movie. The score is the first by Thom Yorke of Radiohead, who now joins bandmates Johnny Greenwood and Phil Selway as film composers. I may be biased because Radiohead is my favorite band, but I think the music is a great match for the visuals.
One of the first things to call out, and this isn’t really a spoiler about the movie, but more a spoiler about the production: Tilda Swinton Plays 3 roles in this movie.
Dr. Klemperer is credited as being played by Lutz Ebersdorf. Ebersdorf roughly translates into “swine town” which is a play on Swinton. Swinton in interviews has stated that she did not play Dr Klemperer, but when questioned about whether she played Lutz Ebersdorf, she confirmed that she in fact did.
The allusion to witchcraft in the first scene of the movie doesn’t take very long to be confirmed in the movie. We see that there are supernatural forces at play in the Tanz Dance Academy, and from appearances, Susie Bannion is all on board.
Like I said before, the body horror in this film is intense. Early on in the film, as Susie is volunteering to dance the lead in the company, the dancer that she is replacing is meanwhile trapped in a mirrored dance room and tossed about by an unseen force.
Tossed about is putting it lightly. I’ve seen McDonalds wrappers treated with more respect than this poor girl. I don’t want to completely spoil it, but here is a reaction video to give you an idea of how you might react.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/lLaYDqhp4Ek
The finale of the film comes right after the performance of the dance that has been rehearsed throughout that we find is more of a grooming ritual for Susie. After the performance, everyone is led down to an underground lair to perform a Black Sabbath ritual to revive/reincarnate Mother Suspiriorum.
It is assumed that Helena Markos will be revived from her degraded state (read zombie Frankenstein state) and be the Mother of sighs herself. What we see instead is a virtual bloodbath. Susie takes her place as Mother Suspiriorum and the movie ends with the only witness’ memory wiped.
If you want to watch Suspiria (2018), please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
The Horrific Beginnings of Horror Movie Talk
Nov 01, 2018
You wanted to know a bit more about your Horror Movie Talk hosts, David Day and Bryce Hanson, so here it is. First of all, we love horror movies – but why we love them is important. In this episode, we delve into what drove us to our horror movie addictions, share some of our horror tastes, and our top five favorite horror movies. Happy Halloween 2018, be safe and have fun!
What Got David Into Horror Movies?
As a kid, I lead a fairly sheltered life, especially when it came to what I got to watch. I remember begging my mother to let me see Jurassic Park in the 2nd grade because I always loved dinosaurs. I saw it in theaters, on opening night with a friend and it blew my mind. I was instantly hooked. The terror in that movie for a sheltered 2nd grader was high, and I loved it.
I remember waking up early quite a bit when I was very young and catching some messed up movies at 4 am on some subscription channel. One of those movies was Frankenhooker, which did a number on me. Frankenhooker had sex, violence, nudity, profanity, drug use, lewd and lascivious acts, you name it. I still carry the scars that Frankenhooker gave me. Watching it now, it’s mostly a shocking comedy, but the damage has been done.
I found myself bored quite often and things like horror movies, sci-fi, and fantasy made life a little less common.
Jim Henson’s Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, along with The Muppets were always in high demand in my house as a kid, and gave me a strong love for practical effects, as well as puppetry.
David’s Horror Movie Taste
I love tension and suspense. I like movies that build tension and dread steadily throughout the movie. The more dread, the better. Psychological horror and supernatural horror work well for me.
I don’t usually love slashers. Something about knowing the cadence of the movie before I start makes it markedly less enjoyable for me.
David’s Top 5 Horror Movies
In no particular order, my top five favorite horror movies are:
The Witch: A family in 1630’s America is cast out of their community and left to fend for themselves on the outskirts of the forest primeval with only their belief in God to protect them. As it happens, God does not have the power to save them, and it’s dreadfully horrifying. This is a perfect horror movie in every way. The suspense, the acting, casting, concept, execution – flawless.
Hereditary: It just doesn’t get much more intense than this. I’ve never been nailed to my seat like I was during this movie. Prepare to care deeply about a family that is put to the ultimate test. Don’t learn anything about this movie, just watch it. This has replaced There Will Be Blood as my favorite movie of all time. Greif, terror, disbelief, tension, perversion – it’s all here. *click*
Alien: This movie could have been made yesterday, that’s how well it works and how good it looks. Alien is a quintessential horror classic that deserves every bit of praise that it gets. It’s isolating, quiet, loud, completely alien in every way. This movie never gets old and will always be effective. If you ever find yourself in an argument where someone suggests that CGI is better than practical effects, show them, Alien.
John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) plays on human psychology in a way that few movies do. Pair that with the most impressive practical effects ever, and you have a long-standing classic movie. Kurt Russell, playing a man’s man in Antarctica pouring whiskey on a chess computer? Hell yeah!
Paranormal Activity (the whole franchise): This works so well for me that I had to include it. I dare you to watch that trailer and not get chills! This franchise is great because it does so much with so little. There is nothing scarier than having a demon attach itself to you and follow you wherever you go. Don’t believe me? Watch Paranormal Activity!
What Got Bryce Into Horror Movies?
I also grew up in a relatively sheltered situation. I grew up Mormon, and for the most part Mormon kids and even adults made it a point to avoid Rated R movies. However, my parents were rebels and allowed us to watch Rated R movies after we got to a reasonable age. I’m pretty sure my first Rated R movie in the theater was Red Heat, which would have made me six years old at the time. That actually sounds kind of crazy to me now.
Anyway, my parents were pretty lenient up to a point. As long as it was Rated R for violence and not sex, it was usually fine.
My entry into horror movies came through the IT tv movie in the early 90’s. I think I caught bits of it when it aired, but it always greeted me at the video rental store and made me think of scary clowns. I didn’t watch a lot of horror movies, but I would always be curious about the scary VHS covers that I walked by at the store. The cover of Ghoulies in particular scarred me mentally and was the cause of many a hurried flushings.
The biggest influence on my taste in horror movies early on, came from television. I was a big fan of the show Sightings, which aired on Fox on Friday nights. It was a show about the paranormal, UFOs, ghosts, and other spoops that went creak in the night. I ate that stuff up. Me and my group of friends would have sleepovers and kick it off with an episode of Sightings. I remember when they canceled it, I was mad that they were going to replace it with some procedural FBI show. But boy was I wrong, because the replacement was The X-Files, became one of my favorite shows ever. Also, honorable mention goes to Unsolved Mysteries, as another show that delved into the paranormal and mysterious.
When I got into my pre-teen to teen years, that same group of friends would make it a ritual to rent one blockbuster movie, and one shitty movie to make fun of. Most of those shitty movies ended up being Full Moon productions. We ended up having a lot more fun making fun of the crappy horror movies than watching the latest Hollywood action movie, so that quickly transitioned into renting two shitty horror movies.
Around that same time, we watched a lot of zombie movies and some of the classics.
Bryce’s Horror Movie Taste
My preferences in horror movies are more towards relatable and story/character driven films. I like movies that revolve around family based hauntings, like Paranormal Activity, or Poltergeist. I like movies that deal with religious or devil stuff like The Exorcist and The Witch. I prefer a slow pace that builds up suspense like Get Out or Rosemary’s Baby. On the other side of the spectrum, I also like horror movies that feature over the top tastelessness like Hostel or The Human Centipede. I think that’s a hold over from my Full Moon days. Finally, I like horror comedies that are genre commentaries like Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil and The Cabin in the Woods.
Bryce’s Top 5 Horror Movies
So with that being stated, lets delve into my top five horror movies. I don’t have a particular order, but I can say which one is my favorite. That would be…
A family mourns the loss of their grandmother, and then all hell breaks loose.
This is the one that both me and David agree on, and is the reason why I knew we could talk about horror movies for hours on end in a podcast. Again, family, devil shit, slow burning, it hits all the boxes. This one is definitely a modern masterpiece. I have confidence that this isn’t just recency bias. It has an amazing script, superb acting, and great directing. This one blew me away, and I’m glad I dragged David to it. You can Watch the trailer above in David’s top five section.
Three young independent documentary filmmakers go into the woods, and never return…
This movie is the most influential found footage horror movie, and truly group breaking at the time. The real genius of this film was the marketing around it which really blurred the lines about whether it was a true story or not. Nothing can match the experience of seeing it in the theater with a group of people, and repeated viewings are all but a waste of time, but this one definitely sticks with me.
An evil scientist traps unwitting victims for his insane science experiment…
This movie, to me, is the pinnacle of glorious tastelessness. I can’t get enough of the evil scientist in this movie. It is like a 1950’s B-movie that you would find being roasted on MST3K was sewed onto a modern torture porn against it’s will. The best thing about it, is it is played completely straight.
A family and grandparents move into a duplex together and slowly find out they aren’t the only ones living there…
Ok, this is my hipster pick, but I genuinely love this movie and think about it as a touchstone for all other family hauntings I have seen since. It really is great despite the budget and 90’s feel. I stumbled upon this on the Sci-Fi channel back in the day, and loved how relatable the family was. I also loved how the unexplained phenomena began as innocuous and confusing, then quickly ramped up to nefarious and frightening. Yes, there are other more famous family haunting movies, but this one was the first that I came across that really felt really believable. The special effects are not great, but they do force your imagination to fill in the gaps, and sometimes it ends up being more effective than big budget movies like Poltergeist.
As my gift to you, here is the whole movie in potato quality on YouTube:
Halloween (1978) Review
Oct 31, 2018
If you want to watch Halloween (1978), please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
John Carpenter’s original Halloween released in 1978 is a pillar of the horror movie genre. Halloween helped to pave the way for slashers and created tropes and techniques that are still used to this day to great effect. When it comes to fun, seasonal horror movies, you can’t do much better than this. Today Halloween still stands up on its own but benefits greatly from a form of nostalgia that I have a great deal of respect for.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/xHuOtLTQ_1I
Halloween focuses on three main characters – Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) who is the virgin teen in distress, Loomis (Donald Pleasence) who is The Shape’s head doctor, and of course, Mike Meyers AKA The Shape (played by seven different actors). By today’s standards this movie is quite slow-paced, but if you feel like you can trade in the pacing for nostalgia and sleepy Midwest towns with old-fashioned values, you probably won’t regret it.
I had not seen this movie in ages, so when I learned that The Kiggins Theater in Vancouver, WA was having a showing of it the Friday before halloween, I knew we had to go. Seeing this on the big screen with a bunch of horror movie fans was the best part of this movie for me so that I may be a little drunk on the ambiance, but I will try not to let it taint my review.
My Rating
8/10
If you haven’t seen Halloween (1978), you really should. It’s just good, old-fashioned, stabbing the way your mom use to serve it up.
This is the movie that created the stamp that we commonly refer to today as slashers. If you have seen a slasher, it was influenced by this, and the spoilers section probably won’t be too much of a spoiler after all.
I like to think about the audience in 1978 who paid to see this at the theater and consider what kind of experience they probably had. Were there movies like this previously? Yes, kind of – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and The Hills Have Eyes (1977) were similar in style but not nearly so successful as Halloween.
The musical score is iconic and created a style unique to horror movies where the audio track truly became part of the scares.
The movie starts with the camera in the perspective of a young (six years old?) Mike Meyers stalking around the outside of his own house, peeping on his sister and her boyfriend as they make out on the couch. As things get hot an heavy, the couple decides to take things upstairs, and Mike heads into the house, grabbing a gigantic kitchen knife on his way.
A laughably short amount of time passes before the boyfriend, now done with his romantic endeavors, decides to head home, walking by a hiding Michael on his way out the front door. Michael heads upstairs, dons a mask, and proceeds to stab his sister to death brutally. The intro ends with Michael in the front yard holding the knife as his parents come home to find him with a cold look of bewilderment.
The Movie skips forward in time 15 years to October 30th, 1978 when Dr. Loomis is driving to the mental hospital to visit his pet project, Michael. It’s a dark and stormy night, and upon arriving at the hospital gates, Loomis and his passenger realize that the mental patients have flown the coop. Mental patients are wandering through the stormy night, and as Loomis gets out of the car to check the gate, Michael attacks his female companion, steals the car and drives off into the night.
At this point, we join Laurie in her hometown or Haddonfield, which just-so-happens to be the town where Michael grew up. Laurie is a high school aged girl who doesn’t do very well with the boys but babysit quite a bit. She does all the things teenagers tend to do with her girlfriends, smoke pot, drink and carve pumpkins on Halloween.
Michael enters sleepy little Haddonfield with Loomis hot on his trail and proceeds with his killing spree. Most of the victims are nude, near nude, and female. He is unstoppable, slow, and very hard to get a read on as he never speaks.
Is Halloween Worth Seeing?
Halloween has enough fun and funny moments to make this movie charming in a lot of great ways. The feel of Haddonfield is perfect, the characters are fun and believable, and if you enjoy peeping at the house across the street, this is simply a hole in one. The acting in this is very good, and the characters are enduring.
Halloween does a great job of setting the stage for the genre and giving everyone who follows it something to shoot for. Panic, jump-scares, the lone virgin, it all starts here. Watching Halloween during the fall is a must. Watching Halloween any other time of the year is similar to Christmas addicts listening to jingle bells out of season – it brings you back to where you want to be.
If you want to watch Halloween (1978), please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Halloween (2018) Review
Oct 24, 2018
Halloween is the direct sequel to the original Halloween released in 1978 that ignores the story lines and continuity of the 9 other sequels and/or reboots. There have been so many Halloweens, that this is the third one called, just, Halloween. This round is helmed by David Gordon Green who wrote it with Danny McBride. Yes, that Danny McBride.
If you want to watch Halloween (2018) please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Halloween (2018) maintains its place as the archetypal slasher movie. Here is the trailer:
https://youtu.be/ek1ePFp-nBI
Review of Halloween 2018
This film does the franchise proud and plays to all the strengths of the original. If you haven’t seen any of the Halloween movies, like me, you don’t have to worry about catching up.
This is the simplest form of the slasher: A dude in a mask that just wants to kill people. The dude is Michael Myers who is treated with the utmost morbid reverence by two journalists (podcasters ala Serial) in the opening sequence seeking out answers to the killing spree that Myers went on 40 years ago. Several times i throughout the movie it is underlined that we have no clue as to what Michael Myers motivation for killing is, and that is what makes him truly terrifying. Jamie Lee Curtis of course reprises her role as Laurie Strode, this time 40 years older and ready to brandish a stockpile of guns to kill Michael before he kills her. Along for the ride are her daughter Karen played by Judy Greer and her Granddaughter Allyson played by the newcomer Andy Matichak.
https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2021/10/20/halloween-kills-review
Read our review of the sequel Halloween Kills
This was a high quality slasher that lives up to the spirit of the original. There is no gimmickry, nothing is too over the top. It’s just the slow pursuit of a psychopath with a knife. You truly feel that no one is safe. As with most other slashers, it is pretty easy to predict killings before they happen if you are inoculated to slashers. However, there are some great sequences that toy with your expectations, and some genuinely great gore. It’s not all surface level, there is tasteful and believable character development of Laurie Strode in regards to the fallout from her trauma and PTSD. In short, the writers and director, understand what works about the Halloween franchise, and use it to the maximum effect.
Rating
9/10
This is a great movie. Probably one of the best slashers that I have seen. I highly recommend seeing it this Halloween season.
David and I agree that it was a relief that this film didn’t go “full torture porn”. There was death and gore, but it didn’t go for the cheep shock value. There was a scene early on after Myers has escaped jail, that there is a baby crying in the house. The movie plays with your dread as Michael goes towards the sound, but ultimately ignores and passes the crib, leaving the house.
This is not to say that there is no gore in the movie. There is a head stomping scene, which is tantamount to a head explosion. Also, Michael creates, what I can only describe as Cop-O-Lanterns. For the most part it’s just straight up stabbing/impalement/and beating deaths throughout the movie.
One of the tensest moments is when Laurie’s granddaughter is stuck in the backseat of a police truck with a knocked out Michael Myers. It is a very effective moment, since we all know that Michael Myers isn’t going to be asleep for long.
The film ends with Michael trapped in a burning house with no escape. But looking at the box office numbers, makes me think that Michael Myers might have survived…
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich Review
Oct 17, 2018
If you want to watch Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Synopsis of Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is a reboot of one of the most popular cult classic horror franchises in the past 30 years, and it’s fun for all the right reasons. It is irreverent, funny, fun, completely gratuitous and extremely violent. If you are new to the series, it doesn’t do a fabulous job of introducing you to the puppets, but it does a great job of explaining the premise of the puppet master, Andre Toulon, played by Udo Kier.
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich has enough familiar faces to make you feel at home, and the cast you (probably) don’t recognize do a wonderful job of giving admirable performances.
Thomas Lennon (Lt. Dangle from Reno 911) plays Edgar, the main antagonist who is a recent divorcee and comic book creator who has fallen on tough times and is living with his parents until he can sort his life out. Nelson Franklin plays Markowitz, Edgar’s buddy and employer at a local comic shop, provides most of the comedic relief throughout the movie. Jenny Pellicer plays Ashley, Edgar’s new girlfriend.
Edgar finds a puppet in his parent’s house and quickly realizes that it was created by the infamous Andre Toulon, a Nazi who also happened to be a skilled puppet maker. He finds out that there is going to be an auction of Andre’s puppets and decides he could use the money, so he takes a trip to the hotel where the auction is taking place. Coincidentally this hotel is near to the puppet master’s residence, and the gathering of puppet collectors in this hotel is the perfect place for the second Holocaust.
Horror movie veteran Barbara Crampton, who also starred in Dead Night, is a retired cop who introduces us to the history behind the puppet master, you will also probably recognize Charlyne Yi, who plays Nerissa, a hotel restaurant employee who has a decent role.
My Rating
7/10
Spoilers
I saw seven boobs in Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich.
That sentence tells you more than you need to know to evaluate whether or not this movie is for you. It is completely inappropriate, and that’s what makes it fun. Nazi puppets who are bent on killing Jews, blacks and homosexuals are the antagonists who provide extremely creative and gory deaths to anyone who gets in their way.
Here is a list of completely insane deaths that took place in Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich:
A Jewish couple was burned to death while mocking their puppet, calling it a Nazi souvenir that was meant to remind them of Hitler’s failed Reich.
A pregnant woman suffered, what I will call, an abortion with extreme prejudice.
A dude was decapitated while taking a leak and ended up urinating on his head in the toilet bowl.
One young man was completely disemboweled while chatting with his mom on the phone.
One guy had his back torn open, a tiny “Junior Fuhrer” climbed into him and controlled him as one would control a puppet. This puppet looks like a baby Adolf Hitler.
This movie reminded me of something Mel Brooks said during an interview.
“I said: Listen, get on a soapbox with Hitler, you’re gonna lose — he was a great orator. However, if you can make fun of him, if you can have people laugh at him, you win.”
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich takes everything sacred and rips it to shreds. If you are offended by anything, this will do a damn good job of finding what it is and trying to bother you, if not make you quite upset. If you can sit back and stop taking everything so seriously, suddenly all those things have no power over you anymore. I don’t want to get too far into a life lesson while writing a review about the 13th Puppet Master installment, but it’s as good a time as any to say, chill out and have fun.
To be fair, this movie knew me way too well and might have scored a few extra points by having comic books featured prominently, as well as a nod to black metal, grindcore, death metal, and a few other extreme subgenres of metal that I like quite a bit.
If you would like to learn more about the series, the Puppet Master Wikipedia page is amazing and offers an in-depth look at every movie, every puppet, and every cast member. It’s actually very interesting.
Is Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich Worth Seeing?
There is a part of me that loves a horror series that has more than a dozen installments, the fifth of which is titled, “The Final Chapter” or something close to it. There is also a part of me that wishes, “the final last one” was indeed what it claimed to be. In this case, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich does a good job of making me happy that it exists.
To be completely honest with you, this is the first of the series that I’ve seen, and now I want to watch them all. I know from experience that I will probably deeply regret watching 12 killer puppet slasher flicks, but this is a labor of love, and love means being there through the bad times and the good.
If you want to laugh and have your jaw hit the floor a few times with friends, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich will scratch your itch.
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Special Thanks to G.Thomas Craig, who edited this episode for us. Check him out at gthomascraig.com/
Spiral Review and Interview with Robin Block from In Search of Darkness
Oct 10, 2018
Spiral is an independent horror film that we got an advance screener for. The filmmaker for Spiral reached out to us on Facebook and invited us to review the movie. This made us feel like hotshots, so of course we’re going to do it. It was… interesting.
If you want to watch Spiral, you should be able to watch it on Amazon Prome Video. If you want to watch a better movie, please consider renting or purchasing through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Here’s the Trailer.
https://youtu.be/ssYfhz4M8WQ
Spiral is being released through iTunes and Amazon on October 16th. They are also holding a premiere at Arclight Hollywood on that same day.
Synopsis of Spiral
A group of college friends reunite in small town Iowa for a wild bachelor party that goes off the rails and results in a missing Groom. This film is made completely outside of the studio system by writer/director Joe Clarke. The film stars a bunch of young unknown actors, some of which are much much prettier than I would expect in an independent movie. I’m talking about the men mostly. Ellis, played by Anthony Stratton arrives at a bachelor party, still reeling from the loss of a girlfriend. His comedian friend Corey, played by Tyler Thirnbeck, is getting married and all the old college buddies are invited. This includes Will, played by Hays McEachern, who was the bro that stole Ellis’ girl.
They have a rager of a bachelor party, and Ellis quickly realizes that these friends are nothing like they were in college. As always one morning at the strip club turns into chasing a legless man through a cornfield in Iowa…and before you know it night has fallen along with that impending sense of existential dread…THEN you know what happens next…right….you see Abraham Lincoln lit by an oil lamp in the woods…and you know its just downhill from there.
Spiral is a very ambitious movie, that while beautifully shot, is a hot hot mess. First half of the movie is great and sets up the characters and the situation very well. The last half drags on and made me ask “can we get to the point?” It’s an avant garde film that really doesn’t give you enough to go off of to understand what the point/statement actually is. It ends up being too ambitious for the writer and, unfortunately, it isn’t very enjoyable. It’s like The Hangover 3 mixed with Donnie Darko 2, and not in a good way.
My Rating of Spiral
2/10
Spoilers: The Rundown
Spiral begins with some trippy scene with some people talking backwards in gas masks, and then quickly turns into a conventional Bachelor party movie, before finally turning back into a trippy multi-dimensional time-warp that just devolves into anarchy. It’s hard to give any spoilers for this movie, because, honestly, I’m not sure what really happened in the movie after the night of the party.
What I could tell was that the villain (one of the villains?) turns out to be an older version of Will, and that there was some kind of multi-dimensional time-warp in a corn field.
Is Spiral Worth Watching?
I would suggest you be heavily intoxicated on any viewing of this film. Outside a some very curious film students or film professors, I can’t imagine enjoying this sober.
For a more enjoyable and interesting independent film, check out The Evil Within.
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
Interview with Robin Block, Executive Producer of In Search of Darkness
Robin Block has been working in media and content creation for his entire career. Before founding CreatorVC, He ran an award-winning production company and a thriving thought-leadership business. He’s also produced long-form documentaries for major broadcasters including BBC, Channel 4 and Discovery, as well as having his own DVD label. Robin started CreatorVC because he saw an opportunity to serve special interest audiences and bring together the right people to make great ideas happen.”
We chatted with Robin over Skype about his latest project: In Search of Darkness. This documentary will bring together 80’s horror icons, modern horror greats, and popular horror influencers to create the most complete retrospective documentary of the genre ever made.
https://youtu.be/bJzt4FV69r4
Together, they will bring their unique perspectives as we take a nostalgic journey back to revisit the unforgettable heroes, monsters, and movies that thrilled and chilled us.
Go to 80shorrordoc.com to see more details on their Kickstarter.
Hellfest is a traveling horror night that rolls into town and a group of friends get VIP passes to go and enjoy the spooks. Think of it as a haunted house that covers an entire theme park. Little do they know that hidden among the park employees is a masked killer that picks off visitors that aren’t scared.
Hellfest is Directed by Gregory Plotkin, and I feel he took a huge Plotkin on the slasher genre. Plotkin has spent most of his career as an editor, most notably Second assistant editor on Weekend at Bernies 2, as well as Get Out, and Paranormal Activities 2-5. His only other feature length film directing credit is Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension. It stars Amy Forsyth as Natalie, the protagonist returning home from school to visit her grade school BFF Brooke played by the distractingly beautiful Reign Edwards. Along for the ride and generally being an annoying presence is Taylor played by Bex Taylor-Klaus. Each one has an arbitrary boyfriend to accompany them to the park that might as well be nameless for all the character development that they get.
The film suffers from terrible dialogue and annoyingly vapid characters. The cast overacts like they are in a Disney channel show, to the point where I actually welcomed their deaths. The setups for the murders are unbelievable even for horror standards, and waste opportunities to take advantage of the unique premise.
There are a few good death scenes, but on the whole it falls flat.
My Rating
4/10
I originally gave it a 3, but because it had a head explosion, it gets an extra point.
Spoilers: The Rundown
My main gripe with Hellfest is that there is an inherent flaw in some of the death scenes. The park is stuffed to the gills with visitors and employees. The characters even need a VIP pass to skip the massive lines. Even with the VIP pass, there are lines. EXCEPT when the killer is chasing them!
At one point they are running away from the killer, but get distracted by the spoopy scares from the maze. They take a leisurely 10 seconds to pause and look at the room. There is no animatronic that can compete with the actual possibility of murder. Even when they get to a room with a bunch of reaching out hands, they freak out instead of, you know…asking for help from the people attached to those reaching hands.
There could have been several ways that the writers or director could have addressed these chase scenes creatively. Just a few off of the top of my head:
The park is in cahoots, and is an accomplice to the murderer
The park employees hear the screams, but decide among themselves that it is just a normal patron being scared
The killer could have killed any employee trying to help them
One of the park employees reaches out to help the girls, but it ends up being the killer without the mask.
The capper to the movie is a lame and predictable epilogue that for some reason tries for one last scare the second after it undercuts the premise. The killer goes home to a generic suburban home and hangs up his mask before going inside and hugging his daughter. For some reason the director was trying to make it seem like the girl was in danger, but… we are already shown that he lives there.
Is Hellfest Worth Watching?
I can’t recommend seeing Hell Fest in theaters, but it might be worth watching at home when it gets to Netflix. Even then, you will probably enjoy making fun of it with friends more than actually watching it for scares.
Tell us what you think about Hellfest
Did you see Hell Fest? What did you think? Have you ever seen a movie that had a distractingly implausible premise for getting trapped by a killer? Leave your comments below. Also, don’t forget to subscribe and review us on Apple Podcasts.
Horror Movie Talk Episode 9: Hellfest Review Outline
Intro/Trailer
Synopsis 6:06
Score 9:06
Thoughts on the film 11:32
First “Bryce Called It” 15:30
Spoilers 26:26
Taglines 40:49
Second “Bryce Called It” 43:15
Horror Movie News 45:01
Game: Lifetime Movie or Horror Movie 52:30
Outro 59:02
The Evil Within Review
Sep 26, 2018
The Evil Within is the first and only film from writer, director Andrew Getty. The film follows a mentally handicapped thirty year-old man named Dennis (Frederick Koehler), and tangentially, his older brother John (Sean Patrick Flanery). Dennis is haunted by his dreams, where a nefarious presence played by Michael Berryman, seeks to torture and ultimately possess him. The nightmares quickly become reality as the evil presence communicates to Dennis in his waking hours through his reflection in a creepy antique mirror that his brother John has thrust upon him. His manipulative reflection quickly instructs the befuddled protagonist to commit heinous acts to escape from his nightmares and show the world he is smarter than they think.
If you want to watch The Evil Within, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
David found this movie by browsing the horror section of Amazon Prime Video. Watching the trailer convinced me that this movie was going to be an entertaining train wreck; my favorite kind of train wreck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ_sduGRt_w
I wasn’t that far off. The film suffers quite a bit from the terrible and, at times, pretentious script. However, there are some really great and disturbing moments, and commendable acting throughout.
The highlights of the film are the many scenes with an impressive mixture of practical and visual effects. For example, the opening nightmare sequence features the evil presence unzipping Dennis’ back and climbing into his body. This is done with a mixture of stop-motion and makeup that is truly disturbing in a way that CGI and jump scares just can’t touch. Also, lots of camera movements and optical effects are pulled off in a way that shows the first-time filmmaker had flashes of genius.
Frederick Koehler did really well with his portrayal of the mentally handicapped protagonist. He adhered to Tropic Thunder’s admonition to “never go full retard”. The Gollumic switch between Dennis’ voice and that of Legion in the mirror is creepy and well acted.
Michael Berryman, the perennial horror favorite due to his unique appearance is used sparingly, but to good effect throughout the film. You might recognize him from The Hills Have Eyes or One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.
The scenes with Sean Patrick Flanery (Powder, Boondock Saints) and Dina Meyer (Saw, Starship Troopers) were probably the worst parts of the movie. The dialogue-driven subplot of John and Lydia’s relationship suffers most from the weak and, at times, confusing script. The film in these scenes steps into The Room territory. As with the Room, even these scenes can be entertaining, if only because of the ham-handed exposition mixed with the non-sequitur word vomit.
Overall, the good balances with the bad. There is enough going on visually that is genuinely interesting and creepy that you can overlook the sins of its storytelling.
My Rating
5/10
If You Like Experimental Independent Horror Movies, Check Out Our Review of Kuso
The film opens with a dream sequence where a sesquipedalian narrator, Dennis, opines about the nature of dreams, storytelling, and reality. The David Lynchian visuals lead to the appearance of the “Cadaver” that attacks the Dennis and literally climbs into his skin.
When Dennis awakes, it is revealed that unlike the wordy narrator, in life, he is mentally handicapped. We are introduced to his brother John and Lydia as they all enjoy a picnic together. After the picnic and a visit to Dennis’ crush at the ice cream store, John surprises Dennis with an antique mirror. John insists that the mirror “really ties the room together,” but Dennis is very upset that John moved his belongings to get it in his room.
Soon, Dennis’ reflection starts talking to him and compels him to begin killing. First, Dennis kills small animals, and then eventually is convinced to kill children and adults.
Meanwhile, John is dealing with commitment issues with his girlfriend Lydia (Dina Meyer). They argue about whether or not Dennis should be sent to a mental institution, and the decisions impact on their long-term relationship. Both of them are clueless throughout the movie to Dennis’ activities as a newly minted serial killer.
As Dennis continues to follow the wishes of his evil doppelganger reflection, it begins to gain more and more control over his actions. The evil presence identifies itself as the same group of demonic spirits from the Bible called “Legion.” Eventually, the reflection swaps places with Dennis and Dennis is trapped in “the dark place.”
The film ends with Dennis murdering pretty much every main character and hollowing out their bodies to perform a macabre puppet show for his brother John, where it is revealed that Dennis’ mental handicap was the result of John attacking him when they were younger and a resulting fall down the stairs. John ends up being overwhelmed with guilt (?) and kills himself with a gun. Dennis is captured immediately by the police and put into a mental institution. However, Dennis’ real prison is being locked inside his mind while Legion controls his body in the real world.
Is The Evil Within Worth watching?
This is definitely a hard one to recommend because it’s not for everyone. However, it is free to stream if you have Amazon Prime. Andrew Getty made a truly interesting film. I was sad to hear that he died two years before the movie was released because I think he had genuine promise as a filmmaker. So if you are interested in films that toe the line between genuine auteur genius and film school hackery, give this one a try. The special effects will probably hold your attention through to the end. Otherwise, steer clear.
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
The Predator Review
Sep 19, 2018
When was the last time that you had a total blast watching a movie? For me it was this weekend at The Predator. This movie is a blast from start to finish. While not technically a horror movie, The Predator is tied to a “horror/action/sci-fi” franchise that is subsequently tied to the Alien franchise.
If you want to watch The Predator, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
If you have seen any of the other movies in the franchise, you know you get lots of action, some horror elements, and lots of sci-fi elements whenever you sit down to watch one of these titles. Well, Like Gremlins, The Predator adds comedy into the mix.
I wasn’t sure what direction they were going to go with this movie, it could easily have been scarier, but I’m glad that they made it what it is, which is hilarious, action-packed, and completely irreverent. The Predator hearkens back to the action movies of the early 90’s, definitely pulling from its Predator and Predator 2 roots for its sense of humor and it’s snark. This movie even pulls the music from its predecessors, and it feels great!
Quick Summary of The Predator
The Predator is set in the current day and follows our elite sniper protagonist Quinn McKenna (Boyd Holbrook) as he is hunted by and as he hunts the predator and the US Government. McKenna makes first contact with the Predator and seems to be a worthy opponent.
The US Government wants to get their hands on the predator, and all of it’s sweet sweet technology, and they obviously don’t want any witnesses, aka loose ends like McKenna hanging around. The Govt. briefly employs the help of biologist Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn) who is infatuated with what she see’s to be the most fascinating biological specimens ever.
Eventually McKenna and Casey team up with an unlikely band of armed forces men who need some serious psychological help which include Nebraska Williams (Moonlight’sTrevante Rhodes) and Coyle (Keegan-Michael Key) to fight against the US Government, and two factions of warring predators who arrive on earth at roughly the same time.
My Rating for The Predator
8/10
While this is not technically a horror movie, it does prominently feature monsters, has plenty of intense gore, and is part of a franchise that has horror elements. If you are looking for scares or spookiness, this isn’t on the menu. If you are looking for a seriously great time and some gut-laughs, check it out.
Spoilers for The Predator
This movie understood what it was from start to finish and it made the most out of all of it. It had blatant product placement, gratuitous violence, completely inappropriate jokes, and lots of handicapped people who were made fun of.
The nitty-gritty of the plot was a predator crash-landed on earth to help humans combat another, much larger predator who is a collector of sorts. What kind of collector, you ask? The genetic kind. The big boy predator is part of a clan that concerns itself with collecting genetic traits and genomes of all the bad-ass species throughout the universe – er, galaxy. Once it has a genetic trait, it seeks to alter it’s own genome, you know, for self-improvement reasons.
McKenna and his unlikely crew of psychologically unstable veterans wage war on the big boy predator who has his sights set on McKenna’s child. McKenna’s kid is seen by the predator as genetically superior because he has a special mental abilities thanks to Asperger’s syndrome.
Is The Predator Worth Seeing?
I’m a pretty hardcore predator fan. I enjoy the original movies and 2010’s Predators with Adrian Brody. I’ve read a lot of The Predator comics and one or two of the novels, and I love the Alien franchise and the nods the two give each other. Not a fan of AvP unless we are talking about the games. This movie scratched every itch in my body!
It was well executed in every appropriate sense. Was there obvious exposition? Yes. Was it appropriate to the storyline and well-executed? Yes!
Were the Predators badass? Yes. Were there tons of cool weapons and action that made you excited to be watching an action movie? Yes!
Was it a total blast? Yes!
I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves action, sci-fi, horror, comedy…I would recommend this to anyone who doesn’t mind some gore and irreverent humor.
Check Out The Trailer For In Search Of Darkness
In horror movie news we talk a bit about the upcoming horror movie documentary, In Search Of Darkness, which just released this trailer that has us pretty amped. Check it out!
https://youtu.be/SBRieE4i8a0
What Do You Think? Leave a Comment Below
How do you think The Predator stacks up against the other movies in the Predator series? Leave a comment below and let us know.
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
The Nun Review
Sep 12, 2018
The Nun is another entry in the Conjuring Universe. This film delves into the backstory of the scary painting from The Conjuring 2. If that seems unnecessary to you, than you will probably find it unnecessary to watch this movie. If however, you just can’t get enough of the world of the conjuring, then this is a decent entry in that series.
https://youtu.be/pzD9zGcUNrw
The Nun Trailer
The Nun is set in 1952 at a Romanian convent is tormented by an evil presence. A tragedy involving a young nun gets the Vatican’s attention and they send in Father Burke (Demián Bichir) and tell him to take along a young novitiate Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) who “knows the territory”. When they arrive at the convent, they are met by a low-key Pepe Le Piu imitator named “Frenchie”.
The biggest twist comes when we learn that Frenchie is actually… French Canadian!
Actually, they find out that convent is super creepy and the superstitious townsfolk deem it cursed (spit). They are definitely not off. The convent is haunted by an ancient demon that comes in the form of a scary looking nun. As they investigate the history of the convent and the recent happenings, it is revealed that the situation is much more dire than originally suspected.
The Nun is a good horror movie. There isn’t anything truly exceptional about The Nun, but it executes the tropes of a haunting/demon story better than most. Like The Conjuring, it is a light, but very effective R-rated feature. The jump scares are there, but aren’t overdone. The director Corin Hardy does an impressive job in this, only his Sophmore feature film.
Written by James Wan, the script is tight, though at times bluntly expository. The main bit of background exposition was blatantly recorded in post production that it makes me wonder how it was done originally. The acting is fine, but takes a back seat to the creepy production design and effective editing.
The Nun is closely tied to The Conjuring 2 in that the main protagonist in both movies is the same demon: “Valak”. If you’re looking for an origin story of how the demon got into a creepy painting, not much is explained in The Nun itself. The Conjuring 2 explains that the demon uses imitation to obfuscate itself as the true villainous ghost. The Nun briefly touches on the fact that Valak chooses the form of a nun because, well, it’s in a convent, and nuns trust nuns (?).
Valak is given a backstory in a ham-handed and slightly jarring flashback. The convent was previously a castle owned by an evil duke that tried to summon Valak through witchcraft. Right as Valak was emerging from cracks in the ground in the form of Nickelodeon Gak, the heroic CATHOLIC CHURCH burst through the door and saves the day. The crusaders bursting in is right out of Monty Python’s “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” sketch.
https://youtu.be/1N6OOWtCYQA
To continue the Monty Python references, they expel the demon by using a holy relic containing the blood of Christ that looks suspiciously like the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
https://youtu.be/xOrgLj9lOwk
Despite the noble efforts of the crusaders, the demon is later released because of a bombing run in WWII opened up the cracks in the floor, and Valak got out.
In an odd twist, The Nun goes for a relatively happy ending despite the foreknowledge that Valak would later torment the Warrens in The Conjuring 2. At the end of The Nun, Sister Irene expels Valak with the same relic as the Crusaders, albeit much more unceremoniously. Then we are shown that Frenchie was actually marked by the demon, thus serving as the connecting tissue between the two movies.
Is The Nun Worth Seeing?
I would recommend seeing it in the theater since much of the enjoyment from viewing it comes from the audience reaction. It is a great example of a general audience horror movie. The exception being the slightly higher production value because of it’s connection to The Conjuring universe. If you’re not too snooty about horror movies and liked the other Conjuring movies, than this is worth the ticket price.
What Do You Think? Leave a Comment Below
How do you think The Nun stacks up against the other movies in The Conjuring universe? Leave a comment below and let us know.
If you want to watch this movie please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
The Little Stranger Review
Sep 05, 2018
The Little Stranger is a little known horror film that came out in 2018 that toes the line between murder mystery and horror movie. It is very English in it’s sensibility and might remind you more of the Turn of the Screw or The Remains of the Day than The Conjuring
If you love scary movies, but wish they were more like The Remains of the Day, then you might like The Little Stranger. It can be found in theaters right now.
The Little Stranger is about Dr. Faraday (Domhnall Gleeson), an english country doctor that starts making calls at the estate of the wealthy Ayers family, Hundreds Hall. Think Downton Abbey, but sadder. Dr. Faraday has a history with the estate, as his mother used to work as a housemaid there. Nowadays, the estate a run-down shadow of its former self and is only inhabited by the eligible bachelorette, Caroline Ayres (Ruth Wilson), her horrifically battle scarred brother Roderick (Will Poulter), her mother played by Charlotte Rampling, and the lone housemaid Betty. But are they the only Ayers living there? We…slowly find out that the house is haunted sorta kinda, and then the movie ends.
My Rating for The Little Stranger
4/10
It was a slow movie that could only be generously classified as about 5% horror movie. It’s slightly interesting because of the human drama, but the scares fall flat.
There is a lot of ambiguity and subtlety in this movie. I walked away wondering if there was any supernatural occurrences whatsoever, and if all of the calamity could be just explained by surreptitious actions of Dr. Faraday and/or human error. The only thing that keeps me from definitively making that conclusion is that the spontaneous scratch marks that appear on Mrs. Ayers, seem to have no other explanation than supernatural phenomena.
So it could either be one bad dude, or it could actually be the ghost of a dead Ayers child that creates all the havoc at Hundreds Hall.
There is talk of poltergeists and a heavy emphasis on Dr. Faraday’s covetousness and forwardness. The poltergeist could be just an extension of Dr. Faraday’s sub-conscience, which is an idea alluded to in the script.
I’m tempted to read the book that the film is based on to get a little more insight into the character of Dr. Faraday, but to be honest, the movie wasn’t interesting enough for me to spend more time delving into the story.
Needless to say, everyone dies because of some curse that befalls Hundreds Hall, and Dr. Faraday is seen in the epilogue wandering the halls staring off into the middle distance. The last shot is of Faraday as a child looking over the balcony that Caroline was pushed over. Does that mean he did it? Was Caroline’s “It’s you” referring to Faraday? I dunno, maybe.
Is The Little Stranger Worth Seeing?
I wouldn’t recommend seeing it in the theater, but it would make a fine “Netflix and chill” movie. It’s not a good horror movie, and it is only a middling drama.
If you are the Dowager Countess of Downton Abbey, you might like it, but everyone else can probably find something better.
https://youtu.be/rA9OPdojcuI
Horror Movie Talk Episode 5: The
Expand for full transcript
This episode of horror movie type brought to you by Costco Meatballs.
I don’t know. Maybe we should just do Costco meatballs and rice for when dinner comes around and you’re barely more ambitious than sandwiches by Costco Meatballs in the frozen aisle of Costco today.
Hello and welcome to horror movie talk. The horror movie podcast were too schlubby. Guys talk about spooky movies with your hosts. Bryce Hanson, the cool collected nihilist and David Day a public urinate er who is always right. Hey, this is a podcast for lovers of horror movies, old and new. You want to hear about what’s in theaters, what streaming fresh takes on old classics and terrible movies that are bad enough to be good.
I’m Bryce Hanson and I’m David Day, and I’ll have you know, I Rice changed the intro on this, and I was not made aware until until I heard it. I don’t appreciate that it’s true, though. I mean, just because it’s true doesn’t mean I mean doesn’t mean it’s got to be part of my intro. Yeah, hey, disgust me. Look, man, look. Any red blooded American male who says that that there you there who says that they don’t pee in public.
Is either is either a liar or there rare a liar, right?
No, I I admit I’ll I’ll pee in public, but we’re talking about, like, campsite on a tree hidden.
Tell the audience about your public urination.
Look, the details. I know what I’m not gonna be pinned to a cross here. How close was the closest person while you publicly urinated? They knew about it and we’re laughing about it of all of them, because I was surrounded by my friends at a slayer concert I wear. I can’t think of a more appropriate place to be in public than a slayer concert. So and the the only the only God damn it, I can’t believe this is happening on the pod. I mean, I guess I should have known that it was coming up. I just forgot. I didn’t know that it was coming. Look, I had 88 ounces of beer in me at this point, and it hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of lamb of God and, you know, jokers to left me clowns to write. I couldn’t get out of there and Furthermore, I was gonna miss omerta. So there you go. Middle of middle of the lamb of God said, I just got down on my knees, you know? Whipped it out. Let her let her go. No, my friends were in front of me. They were downhill from the street. There were blockading is making sure that other passes by Didn’t Didn’t, uh you know, you silly their shoes first is what you’re saying, right?
So you leave out that this is an event, this seated venue which made which made getting out much harder because you’re you’re boxed in by huge keeping slayer fans who are like steelheads. Well, I’m not gonna lie and say that there weren’t skinheads there. It’s a small sub subsection of Slayer fans that slayers probably not too proud about. No one should be proud about it, But, yeah, they were probably there. That’s right. I’m just giving them, aren’t that?
Yeah, that’s a question to the audience. What’s your worst public urination story? That’s a try to beat among the masses. I can’t think it needed more. I it would be It would be disrespectful not to, huh? All right, so today we’re Oh, yeah.
First of all, let’s just give a couple plugs. Our website is horror movie talk dot com. You can also find this on social media or most active on Facebook. We’re also on Twitter and Instagram. Let us know if we should be more active in one of those. If you would like. That’s your preferred method of social media. Yeah, Post, uh, episodes every Wednesday of horror movie talk.
This is new. We’re moving to a weekly format. We’ve got a couple episodes in the bag there, just waiting in the wings and a bunch of new horror movies coming out in advance of Halloween. So we’re trying to up the the schedule.
Please subscribe and leave a review of our podcast on iTunes. That helps us out a lot and helps with the visibility of the podcast. So today we’re gonna be talking about the little stranger, and how will go over the episode is first off will give an overview of the movie and review and a score. Um, gotten a lot of feedback about wanting specifics about what are scoring system is at 1 to 10 1 being just a miserable dredge to get through five being average and hits all the marks. Just an average movie. It’s acceptable. It’s not fantastic, doesn’t it? Just doesn’t make you angry. Just makes you feel. Yep. I saw a movie and then 10 being just absolutely fantastic. Just best movie of the year type quality transcends the genre.
So a couple examples of tens recent tens the witch. Um, read it, Terry. For me? Yeah. We’re gonna be doing it so that these air these air recent tens and so, like the which probably a recent 10 that will be a little bit more for gotten. It will probably die down in my memory that as time goes on, it’s a fantastic movie. But it won’t. I don’t think it will be. Yeah, An exorcist. Yeah. I mean, they’re not necessarily the most popular, But if you watch him, it would just be hard to disagree that the they’re not great movies. Longstanding tens are like Psycho. The Exorcist. Jaws five. Most recent five was the Meg last episode. Just popcorn movie. I can’t not good. Not bad. It’s just there. And then we’ll, um thanks to mark for the feedback on a lot of people seem to be very interested in the scoring system, which is interesting to me.
Um, Brett, you know, if you want to know more about if you want us to do something different about it, your add to it, let us know, Right? Um, I think in general we don’t get excited easily. So if if it’s above a five and that’s probably a pretty ding good movie, it’s worth were thing. I mean, I think five were saying because I like movies. Yeah, yeah, I think two’s or worse, I think cause I love terrible movies, too. But I think for the most part, stuffs around five or maybe a little less or a little more. Yeah, I think in general, neither of us is terribly. Ah, suede. You know, we don’t have a lot of energy One way. We’re pretty pretty neutral. Going into and coming out of movies right later will be doing a couple of bits will do tag lines where we replace the movie’s taglines with something that we think is more appropriate.
We’ll be talking about what’s going on on our Facebook page and a little bit of horror movie news today, uh, mostly talking about trailers and what we’re excited about. Thanks again for listening and let’s get into the show. So we went to see the little stranger. And if you love horror movies but wish they were more like the remains of the day starring Anthony Hopkins, then this is the movie for you. What’s the remains of the day? If anyone seen remains of the day, that will be a hilarious joke. Okay, here’s the trailer of the little stranger that remains of the day. The first time I saw 100 tall was July 1919. Nothing could have prepared me for the spell it casts.
When I saw the house again 30 years NATO, I could hardly comprehend the change in the place. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? You wouldn’t believe me. Another. This is Dr Faraday. How did you find the patient? A little under the weather. It’s war shock. E Caroline Him tonight I’ve heard they’re troubled. Very conscientious about it. A long time ago I was a child. This isn’t died before I was born. There’s something evil in this house. Let’s shoot. What you doing here? You write for me, Miss. I did not. Mrs Astor’s upset strong itself, did it. What she’s that’s impossible. Your mind is playing tricks since is a memory. It will be explained. I’m worried. Don’t you ask me that? He said he could smell smoke. I couldn’t smell anything.
Delusions seem long as contagious. Someone’s staying games. People are capable of nasty impulses. Something in this house you do know. Yes, they’re tricks. What happened next? It’s a mystery to me. The little stranger could be found in theaters right now. If you’re confused about hearing about this movie that you haven’t heard about it in your horror movie fan, I guess I wouldn’t be that surprise. It’s barely a horror movie. Well, this is a great example of a trailer that that I saw many times in horror movies. You know, it was targeted at horror movie fans. So I saw the trailer for this in, you know, in other horror movies. And and it sells itself as a horror movie very much. Yeah, The trailer is not what the movie is, right? The little strangers about Dr Faraday, played by Donald Dom Nal Gleason, The, uh, what’s his name? Huck’s from Star Wars. Yeah, and many other movies.
If you’ve seen a redhead man in a movie in the past 10 years, it’s been Donal Gleason. Ah plays an English country doctor that starts making calls to a state of the wealthy heirs family. The state is called Hundreds hall think Downton Abbey, but sadder. Dr Faraday has a history with the estate as his mother usedto work as a housemaid there. Nowadays, the estate is a rundown shadow of its former self, and it’s only inhabited by the eligible bachelor at Caroline Ares, played by Ruth Wilson. Her horrific, least battle scarred brother, Roderick, played by Will Poulter, her mother, played by Charlotte Rampling. And the loan housemaid Betty. Um, but are the Onley heirs living there?
We slowly find out that the house is haunted, kind of sort of. And then the movie ends. Yeah, it’s left up debate to debate, whether I mean, I was confused whether it was even haunted because it really doesn’t sell it. Have at all have a lot of theories. So before we get into spoilers and talking about the details of the plot, what we liked and didn’t like, um, I just want to give a quick review. Ah, slow movie. I mean, it could only be generously defined as a horror movie. It’s about 5% horror movie. Yeah, and it’s like it’s like a like if a nineties family sitcom did a horror episode. Yeah, it would be about that much.
Yes, Kerry material. It’s less scary than or maybe as scary as a tree as a Simpsons treehouse of horror. Right episode? Yeah, I don’t know. I mean even even treehouse of horror. Would you like the later treehouse of fours where they just get into? Yeah, I kind of just more Ah, taboo subjects and not actual or write American horror Story is leaps and bounds scarier than this. Um, it’s slightly interesting because the human drama but the scares fall flat. I give it a score four out of 10 c I. For me, this is a five because it’s it’s interesting enough on its own, you know, it wasn’t Ah, it wasn’t offensive at any point.
It was just a little confusing because I thought we were, you know, because we’re a horror movie podcast and we were there E. So I was like, What the Well, who else was in the theater with us. Old people. Lots of old people. Yeah, they were gearing up for a period piece. Which this waas. Yeah, more so than a horror movie. They were like, Oh, how quaint. You know, it was kind of that. So it scored. Did you? Did you say it? I will give it a 5%. It wasn’t up. It wasn’t terribly. It wasn’t bad. Like it was not a bad movie to me, but I could see how a four would would be where you’re going with it. I’ll tell you what it made me think a lot. You know, we did talk about it after the movie, and I was interested enough to kind of look a little bit deeper Raft afterward.
Yeah, it did inspire discussion, but it’s my question is, is it did it inspire discussion because it wasn’t effective? Or did it inspired discussion because of accurate Cheap Or did it inspire discussion because it was actually thought provoking? I’ll tell you what, It was beautiful. Yeah, it was like the scenery and the location filming and like all the seasons and like the house itself. Wow. Oh, I’m very pretty Domina. Lt’s Donald Gleason’s hairline. I was fascinating.
I mean, lots of lots of hero shots of his the back of his head. Yeah, and it is exquisite craftsmanship of whoever did his hair. Yeah, it reminded me of your hair. Yeah, often. Yeah, because because it’s so like cough. You know, it is very clearly has the comb marks. And, uh, and your hair does that You very free. I mean, it’s obvious that you comb your hair and care about how it looks when you leave your house. Yeah. Yes, I combed my hair. Right.
I have I have rolled out of bed and walked into the every day of my life since I was 12. You say I stopped combing my hair a 12. And then but people like Domina LL and Brice are keeping, you know, keeping it swath, right? Well, I mean, it’s different hair types. If I rolled out of bed, you would definitely be able to tell. Yeah, your hair. I mean, there’s nothing to be done. It’s just It’s just what it is. You just get out of here. Have you ever grown out of throw? Could you do a throw? I wanted to. I could do a froze. It gets heavy. It’s really it’s not fine enough Thio to do it. You know, at about three inches you can do a decent throw and then passed that. It’s just, Ah, it’s just going to get greasy and weighed down. It’s gonna look like, you know,
it’s gonna look like a kind of gross Mad of Greece. All right, well, let’s get into spoilers. Spoilers. Okay, Uh, okay, So I think to start out with this movie about how it’s barely a horror movie or confusing it’s who is targeted to. I think the most telling thing is the previews that they showed before the movie. You know, what were they like? It jumped between horror movies like legit horror movies and, Gosh, I can’t remember the other ones. But there they were, just regular drama’s drama or period piece movies.
Yeah, it was just hard to know what the audience for this movie was looking. The theater. It was a lot of old people, and it was probably people. I mean, it is the people that don’t know what movies air out. They look at the newspaper in. They’re like, what’s playing, and they don’t want to see the Meg. They don’t want to see a superhero movie, right? Like, 00 this is about 19 fifties forties forties. Felt. No, it wasn’t. Forties wasn’t before the war, I felt like I think it was nothing. You said it was in the forties. Okay. Ah, by either one of those around that time, right? It wasn’t during the war.
No. Um, so But yeah, it was it was confused about. I was confused about who it was for afterwards. It was very, very English going into Yes, it was very English going into it. I was sure that it was a horror movie. And then about 50 minutes through, I turned to Bryce with Ernest, You know, with Ernest Concern and said, Is this a horror movie? Are we supposed to be in here?
Have we supposed to be here? Like I was? I was legitimately confused, and I had a little bit of that. Um, you know that You know that disorientation that hits you after watching nine trailers before a movie. When you go, where am I? What? Over here. We see what is happening that hit me about 50 minutes through, and I and I became a warmed and worried that, like we were seeing the wrong movie or something like that, that experience was interesting and new happen halfway through a movie, right?
Yeah. When I say it’s very English, I think it is a very English style scary story. Like, um um, a Christmas carol like? Well, technically, yes. That’s a ghost story. Yeah, that’s a good point that it’s very it does not dwell on the bread of the supernatural. It’s just kind of incidental. Yeah, Incidental dread. Right. Um, that being said, that’s a really good point. And I Yeah, I would say that this is a English and English feeling horror movie, right? Yeah. Um, so the movie starts out. It’s kind of a flashback of this Dr Farraday character when he’s a child and he is visiting, visiting hundreds Hall, and he does not feel, I mean, he’s he’s not one of these wealthy people, and he’s out of place and by happenstance is able to kind of wander around the the halls of 100 tall.
I don’t Do they have 100 halls? Hundreds all. Maybe. Maybe that’s why I don’t know, man, it was a huge house. It was three or four stories of and palatial, right? And ah, the main thing is that he feels feels out of place when they take a picture. Some, you know, girl, that Ziggy Sookie from the air’s family stands right in front of him so he can’t be seen in the photograph. And I guess that makes him sad.
Um, and then sat slash man, Matt said later in the movie, it’s revealed that don’t aunt done. He steals well, Acorn from a frame. Yeah, from a from a like a mirror frame, like a wooden mirror frame that has, like a bunch of like, carved like beautiful acorns and leaves and stuff he, like, walks up snaps often Acorn. A lot of lot of intent is is good placed on that snap like that. Snap is the snap heard round this movie? Yeah, yeah, and the sound effect of the snap is used over and over again. Yeah, who’s sorry I didn’t mean it.
I messed up the, um so that’s that’s like one of the things that was confusing to me is what is the motivation? A fair day and how much significance does that have on the current day? Faraday In his mindset. Yeah, they did a really bad job of conveying that, because, as it turned out, it’s very important. This is one of those movies that’s like, That’s very six Sensi. You know, it’s like, Well, let’s go through the whole movie and ah, and then we’ll tell you that there’s a twist, right? But there’s no but not actually tell you what the twisted but not act, yeah, but not actually tell you what the twist is and also, like, make make you completely guess like there’s there’s no feeling throughout that you’re going to be a twist, kind of kind of what it’s setting up throughout the whole movie. I mean, just like any period piece, it’s, ah lot about the class system.
It’s a lot about people living in this palatial estates that have hordes of servants, servants and how disconnected they are from everyone else and then the working class or the poor, that look up to these people in these estates and and wish that they could live there. So a good portion of the movie is about Faraday having that experience and now being respectable doctor, that’s being brought into this life into kind of their family. So that is a significant theme. But I don’t know if that is nothing, you know, because at the end of the movie, you could either be Yeah, spooky stuff happened. But I mean, my prediction and about the middle of the movie was Oh, this is gonna be a switch where it’s just Faraday making in all these bad things happen.
And it’s gonna like do flashbacks to each of these moments, showing how he set it up toe happen because yes, he’s Ah, he’s ambitious and he keeps trying to insert himself into the life it first starts out is like he is kind of interested in. He’s called there, and you know, he has a history, so he’s got a little bit of baggage, but by the end of it, he’s really trying to assert himself into their life and like, make decisions for this family that he isn’t really a part of it, but right it becomes it becomes more evident. And, you know, you mentioned Ah, you know there’s an opportunity at the end of this moon movie for them thio yet drawl that connect the dots for you to give you a flashback of every instance that happened and give a reason for this this apparent supernatural supernatural entity that’s moving through the house actually ending up being Faraday. But they don’t do that now.
This is a This is apart about movies that I can sometimes appreciate, right? I like it when movies don’t hold my hand and let me work things out is one of things I like about, um, Prometheus a lot, you know, it doesn’t hold your hand. It leaves it a lot of it up to you to determine Thio to go back through other movies and go Oh, yeah, there’s a connection here. There’s a connection there. Yeah, I mean, I was listening the NPR the other day not to be too snooty, but we’re revealing the little stranger so seems apropos. But on NPR, they’re interviewing this composer that was doing the thing with Oregon Symphony, and he described the ambiguity is because his ah ambiguity, his wholesome ambiguity in movie in an art, Okay, because he was he was, um, commissioned to write this piece on homelessness and Organ Symphony was playing it, and they’re trying to ask him, you know, the meaning behind stuff. And And he was really hesitant to a true coming described and describe what he was, what he meant by stuff. And a lot of the early movements were very hot garden and whatever, and then there’s kind of stuff that was very tongue in cheek.
But one of things, he said, was that in any art form, it’s important to have some level of ambiguity, especially in great art. Yeah, having a level of ambiguity and yeah, I too. I love that that it does movies that don’t hold your hand and just experience it. And you have to draw your own conclusions. It’s the fast.
It’s a mental puzzle that you you get that they give to you and then you get to unravel. It’s one of the things that makes a movie or any Yeah, like you say, any peace aren’t great right now. With that being said, there was almost too much left unanswered in this movie. Yeah, I’m left, like, wondering is, is the ambiguity earned or is accidental accident? Yeah, accidental ambiguity, or is it or is that they just don’t know how to tie things together or convey what they want to convey. And then at the end there, just like I think, whatever you think, I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go with, like I’m gonna lean a little bit after having done some homework.
And that’s important to mention because the movie interested me enough to go and do homework afterward, right? So there’s something there. But after doing some homework, I started piecing together even more parts of the puzzle on going. Oh, this wasn’t as this was more intentional than I. I thought, like I like leaving the movie. I was confused. I was a little bit like, What was that about like And what about this and that? But look, if you look at the poster for the movie, it’s the whole. The whole answer is right, is right in the poster. Even which is, which is, Um what what’s His name is strange name? Farraday. Yeah, Faraday. But what’s his Oh, Domino Domino. Yeah, it’s It’s a it’s It’s like a side portrait of him on Lee. Only, like the only the important part of his face has, like, fallen off it like as if he were a statue that had been carved of stone and and the parts of the stone had had been had been weathered by time and come off right. Well, it was like it’s like a oil painting with canvas falling off from disrepair. Something like that. I think there’s a few different ones, but in any case, it made it clear that this man is falling apart. It is it is him who Who is the broken one? It’s not, You know, you can draw a lot of conclusions just from looking at that poster after having watched the movie and and go, Oh, this is very intentionally him And it’s just that and and to be fair to them at the end, it really points the finger at him.
Yeah, it, albeit confusingly, but does gives theirs. Like I said, I predict that they’re gonna just place it on Faraday. But then I go back and think about some of the stuff that happens, and I don’t think that he could do that. But I think the answers are in there. Let’s just go over kind of the the bad things that happened in the movie real quick. So these air it starts out. Um oh, yeah, man, it starts out and, um, really stuff starts going wrong during this one party that they have. And they haven’t had any kind of, um, gathering gathering at this house for a very long time because it’s an ill repair. And they’re just kind of, like, stapling stuff together to make it presentable for just a couple of people showing up. And the party is attended by the whole Ayers family, minus Rodrick. Because he’s kind of going, He’s having anxiety issues. Rodrick is the battle scarred, just horrifically scarred veteran Young Burns burns over like a good 50% of percent of his body or something.
Like both of those legs. They’re probably just completely mangled any It’s his faces. Yeah. Good makeup on him. Yeah. Great. Great makeup on him. Great acting. Yeah, um, so he’s not wanting to come to the party, and he says some foreboding things. Like, I’ve got a bad feeling and, you know, going to fare day and saying, Don’t you don’t you feel that basically And then during the party, um, I don’t know her name, but I’ll call her varicose salt because you just like the little the little girl that will a spoiled girl, that their parents were making a point of not having any rules whatsoever because it might cause Nero see their guest. She’s aghast in this house, right? And I believe she’s the only young child in the house at this point. Um, she is very during this part, fixated on the family dog, which is an old like You’re right lower, no black, big, fat, lab like lab. And she kind of follows it behind this curtain and they’re playing around and then she gets viciously mauled by the dog. And so you like Okay, yeah. Aaron Roderick was well right.
He, you know, foretold that happening. So that’s the first thing that happens. And then later in the let’s just go through these rules, you know, I’m like, I’m with you. I just find myself drawing connections as we speak. Like or and not also being more confused, right? Um Rodrick. Later, he’s in his study or in his office. It’s like his room. It’s basically his bedroom in his office, and he’s yelling at the wall or something like that. And then we get a brief shot showing that the bookcase is going up in flames. It’s it seems like a dream, almost like he’s watching it happen. But it’s not happening like it’s happening for him. And no one else. Kind of, Yeah, it’s portrayed as spontaneous combustion.
Basically, yeah, like like the houses, you know, like the house is out to get him right. And and I think he says something to that fact that, you know, the house is too much for me. I can’t I can’t take it. And, ah so Rodrick gets committed by Dr Faraday or Dr Faraday brings in a psychiatric psychiatric doctor and Dr Rodrick it’s carted away to the loony bin. And then, by the way, it should be noted that Roderick was was in the process of selling the property in the house, right? And and so, as he is ramping up his efforts to sell the house well, he’s not selling the house yet, but he is selling the property to get some money right. But he’s selling very important property as opposed to, like scrub that he initially wanted to write and and right before he’s getting committed, he had sold the house, he said.
He said, Oh, it’s It’s almost done like I almost have the ship gone. Oh, I missed that part like we’re like, This house is almost gone from us, and we don’t have to worry about. And right then he gets committed by Faraday, right? But it wasn’t It wasn’t insidious at all when it happened. Really? It was just like, yeah, guys. I mean, look at him. He’s got PTSD seeing fire. He’s all scarred up, right?
Um, the next weird thing that happens is they start hearing some things around the house. A lot of what’s in the trailer is in the next part, and they see little scratches of, um this dead daughter’s names of the daughter that blocked fair days away in that photo. Um, later that day ended up dead later, the day s O. Way back when when Faraday was young and just visiting the house, Yeah, later that day, this this little girl who was the families first daughter died. And I believe that was the beginning of the end for this unfortunate family that was the first in a series of many unfortunate events that led to this house and the property needing to be sold just so that they can get this once prosperous family can make ends meet. So these mysterious, uh, scratches and and lettering starts appearing. And you show that it’s the name Sookie is doing it in there.
The mother is kind of freaking out, and, you know, they’re just assuming that this ghost is here and so fast forward Mother, um, she’s walking with fair day. And there’s the There’s the one part is the one supernatural thing that I can’t that I couldn’t say. They could go back and say, Faraday set this up. Um, they’re walking along. And then all of a sudden lady heirs or Mrs Ayers, the mom, the mom started getting scratched on her skin underneath her clothing.
These, well, just scratched enough to bleed through clothing. And then later she, um, commit suicide with a shattered picture frame. Yeah, and it’s all kind of insinuated that she’s being driven insane by this, that she’s being haunted by a poltergeist or something. Yeah, and then finally, the finale. Or should we wait now? Before that, I just want to point out the other thing. You can’t attach to Faraday in any way, shape or form, as far as I can tell. Is the dog attacking that little girl in the party? That first point you brought up? Yeah, the dog attacks air it, and it’s like an alarming sound. And, you know, it’s like a It’s like a spooky sound along with the dog growling and mauling this little girl. But it’s also that’s that’s one of those that I would attribute to that could just be a regular happenstance. Eso anything? Okay?
Anything that supposedly supernatural could be said to be naturally occurring to the dog attacking a girl that’s probably sticking her finger up its ass. Dogs, dogs attack. It does do that. That’s what David old dogs and the fire in the study. All you gotta do is show Rodrick lighting a match in a flashback. And that’s perfectly normal. Yeah. You know, um, Lady Ares committing suicide, I mean, you know, people commit suicide would commit suicide. Well, you said the one thing that just doesn’t make any sense is that the scratches spontaneously appearing the outer skin. That’s like the only one that couldn’t be red con to me. Yeah, Everything else condemn Finitely and does does get a decent enough explanation. So they do.
Making bells ringing. Oh, the bells. Well, they even say that in the scene. But that was just mice. Yeah, but that’s that’s like the point of the movie that the trailer hung its hat on like it was like, Ding ding, ding, ding, ding, ning ning me shows these bells, you know, these servant bells showing all these different rooms asking for attention. There’s nobody in the house, right? But then, like you, So you’re like, when when the bells are ringing like Okay, here comes this spook gonna get spooky and and then they just they just open the door and the other device in there, they could have drawn it out a little bit.
They just opened a drawer in the like mice. They’re pulling all the strings, and it’s like that was so goddamn it. Good. Lame. He could’ve made it spooky. So they do make a point of mentioning poltergeists. Fair day. Yeah. Talks about theories of, you know, conscious and subconscious mind that’s separate from you. And you know, Doctor, these talking to little what you’re talking about is a poltergeist, and he’s like, Well, maybe you know, so that that must.
He’s talking about how this insanity that’s in this family in this house is catching and that he himself feels like he’s starting to believe weird stuff is going on and that it’s not explainable. And so they kind of hand that to you. That poltergeist is a thing, and so that is possibly key to interpret the movie. I think it is. Either it’s either the dead girl haunting the house or it’s Faraday. Acting is kind of like a carry type situation poltergeist making things happen around him. Yeah, because of his intention. So it’s made pretty clear that Fair Day wants into this life. And when things happen that threaten that, um, they must be bad things happen after that. So Rodrick, you know, is gonna sell off some of the properties like No, you can’t do that.
We gotta stop that like fair days. All of a sudden, very, very yeah, concerned about the property itself, and he’s in as their doctor as I’m thinking about it. There’s also that part where Rodrick had sold a piece of the property and there’s work being done on that piece of the property by construction workers to build like, um, housing for low income people are, or something to that extent, just normal people. But they’re low income people, right by comparison. But But if you recall like, one of those workers got really deathly ill, right? And it had to slow down and stop construction, huh?
I forgot all about that. I just I’m just remembering it now. I didn’t even notice that attachment. That relation. Yeah, but you’re right. As you said, you know, anything that threatens the sanctity of this house falling into Faraday’s hands ends up poorly, right? And you know, he’s a doctor. So he has trusted in this community. This is back when doctors made house calls and were obliged to to make sure that the people that they treated work, We’re okay.
And there’s many parts where he’s, you know, he’s kind of touting that power a little bit jokingly but also not joking, like right. So the other thing with the with the mother so major plot point is Farraday eventually proposes to get married to Caroline airs. And she’s it seemed that was so awkwardly forced. Yeah, It was like watching somebody get marriage raped. It was not. It was like, Just marry me, Please, Please, can we get married? And she was like tears in her eyes. It’s like trying to get my wife to watch a scary movie.
It’s like I don’t just please alleys. Flake. No, actually, it’s not anything like that, because my wife would never say yes. But, uh, yes. So he proposes Thio get married. And then when Caroline says, 00 we can’t live here He’s very like, Oh, well, we we have to. I had to turn down that other job in London. She’s like, it was my way out of this horrible house. I need to get out of here And he’s like, No, no, that’s why I know it’s okay. Well, it’s also she’s blaming her mother like we can’t live here with my mother while we’re married and he says she’ll have to live with it, should be used to actually get used to it or or something. And so there’s kind of this threat of the mother being the cause of Faraday and Caroline not being noble live there.
And so all of a sudden when Mrs Ayers kills herself. It’s like question mark. Question mark question mark is this fair day. And then finally the very end maze will spoil the whole thing. Um, Caroline, um is investigating some sound in the middle of night that went bump tonight. And this is after she, her mother broke off the marriage to Faraday, saying like, Oh, yeah, I can’t get married to you. That’s right. And then and I was like, Well, sleep on it. Just yeah, you know, it’ll be cool. And then she is investigating the sound. And then she’s shoved over the balcony on the third floor in falls to her death. And the last thing she says is like something like, Oh, it’s you or it’s you. Yeah, And so she recognizes whoever it is whoever is about to push her off of the balcony, right?
And so that’s also highly suspect that Faraday is. It could be either. Like the insinuation that the movie makes the whole time is this is her sister, Sochi, who died tragically when she was very young. This movie makes it. It makes it hard attempt the whole way through to pin this on the coast of Sookie? Yeah, or season. But it could easily be fair to, except for a couple just actual supernatural things that I can’t. I mean, unless he is some kind of magician where he could make scratches appear. Yeah, after. But it doesn’t say anything about him examining the mom, and it’s a very interesting movie.
Yeah. I mean, that’s why I’d give it a five instead of a Ford just cause it’s like, I’m still the kind of Tauron about it. And it’s well done enough to make me think. Well, I mean, I don’t know, like, yeah, I’m having a good time trying to puzzle it. Right? Right. So anyways, it all and the very in. Yeah, And then it shows kind of Ah, epilogue. Where, um, Faraday is in the house efforts even more decrepit. And after all, the development in the adjoining land that got sold was developed. Any sea like Oh, yeah. The view is definitely, you know, kind of ruined from this house, and it’s completely it’s like filled with leaves and stuff. It’s falling apart, and he’s looking through.
And the question you ask is like, What is he still doing? Hanging around there. Everyone is dead. And why is Why is even there like he’s It shows that this house is really important to him. And then the final shot is like him as a boy at the top of the balcony. Look down at the body, looking down or at the spot where would pushed. But then it’s It’s like that. What’s your name? Caroline. Caroline. Where he Yeah, it’s It’s It’s basically him. Is a child standing at the third floor looking down at where where she had just died, right?
But what makes it in cruising? What makes it confusing is that it’s that decrepit, like Lee filled yet. So it’s 100 old House. It’s like now time. It’s not old time. It’s now time. And it’s not the time that Caroline got pushed, right? It’s so if I If I was to guess what they’re trying to say by that is Oh, it’s Donald. Lt’s character. Um, it’s Faraday being jealous. Faraday being jealous, jealousy of a child, having the jealousy of the child push. Yeah, his spurned fiance. Yeah, that’s that’s what the core of of his his inspiration. Yeah, but But then again, just the mixed message of It’s in the Old House and it’s just him showing the flashbacks of when he was a kid. He wasn’t at the top of the stairs. That’s gotta be meaningful. That it’s that top balcony.
Um, I mean, as we’re walking out David you’re talking about Oh, it’s showing that fair day killed Sookie, right? You remember that? Yes. Yeah, that’s right. Because she died that day a day that he he learned of his love for this house in this life, and she kind of she kind of pissed ma ficus. You blocked right view of amber. And when he ripped off the acorn, she was, like, smirking. She was there to witness his mother beating Slap the shit out of dude. He got molested with that hand. Like she smacked the shit out of him.
Yeah. Ah, but when I did a little more research on this movie looked on the Wikipedia page, so it should be worth mentioning. This movie is based off of a novel. Um, and also called a little list, stranger. Yep. Okay. And apparently from the comments that I’ve seen, it’s very true to the novel in terms of plot on reading the Wikipedia entry. It’s It hits all the beats. But what people say is it leaves out a lot of the character development for Faraday and a lot of, um, stuff about his motivations, which is like, Okay, yeah, that that is kind of missing. I bet there’s a piece missing of giving you a little more inclusive. And then that was my immediate thought.
Coming out of this movie was men. This would make a spectacular book. And then he said, Well, it is. It’s based on a book And I said, I’m sure it’s much better, right? Because it yeah, because this is This is book fodder. This is right where it would shine. And then the thing that ruins your theory. I read that in the book, Sookie dies because of getting like dysentery or something. It’s like a sickness. She wasn’t murdered. She was down with the sickness.
Yeah, well, I mean, it could be that same. It could just be the malevolent, childish spirit of of Faraday, like inflicting evil upon those who get in his way. Yeah, right. The same way that that the construction worker was was made ill right there. is a couple quotes, that kind of point to that. I think it’s Caroline says. Both says whenever you go away, something terrible happens or something horrible happens. And then she also says, Sometimes I think you want me to be tired and he does, because that’s that’s after she’s she’s doing. She’s saying she wants to do something that he doesn’t want her to do. And he’s like, You’re just tired. Yeah, we’ll talk about this later. Just like sometimes I think you want me to be tired like, yeah, so who would, uh, would like this movie? E. Wrote down. Who would like this movie? Um, who would like this movie? The Dowager Countess of Downey and Downton Abbey would love this movie. I don’t get it, but it’s funny. Why e I mean, just like old old people will like this movie. People that, like thoroughly English period pieces, would would like this.
Um, yeah, if you like Matt lock, this is it. This is a a long version. If you like the spooky episodes of Quantum Leap, you probably like this movie if you like. If you like movies that feel like they’re three hours. But are only an hour and 1\/2. You like this? Maybe write this movie felt like it was a million years. I was just like, What is? We got out and I was like, It’s gotta be like we went in. What was the time we went in to see it? It’s like 303 I thought it was like, six. We got out and it’s like, five. It was five. So I mean, we went into the theater at three. And there’s probably, you know, 15 was an hour and a horn, every bit of previews and then yeah, yeah, I don’t know.
I don’t think it felt too long because I’m used to the like period stuff. I’ve got a wife this into that? Yeah, it’s It’s a great period movie. Like I said, it’s beautiful. It has amazing everything, like everything, everything except the being clear. But I mean, they even go to the trouble of like showing his some of his like patients. And what is normal Day is in like let’s go to a party. And like all this superfluous stuff, that doesn’t matter. It’s very period feeling. You know, it’s It’s just like Here’s a slice of life back then, right here.
My baby crying in the background. He is a Q T man. Yeah, like good looking little man went thio Mount St Helens. The Johnson Observatory. Oh, you did yesterday. You did? Yeah, Yeah, we went after church and Ah, cash, that’s any time you go out with the family with three kids is always a fucking nightmare. Cash says two and 1\/2 hour drive or something like that. It was a miracle that we didn’t stop. We just went all the way there. That which is amazing with kids, got all the way up there and then, you know, spend maybe an hour at the Johnson Observatory. We didn’t even go on any hikes. We just looked at the museum.
Yeah, there’s enough to do it. Just just that Johnston Ridge Observatory and I used to work out there to be trails, trails, maintenance amounts of Helen’s years. It’s beautiful, and it’s interesting. I’ve seen how much has changed since last time I was there. I mean, it’s still pretty desolate, but it’s really coming back to recovering. Yeah, really. Well, you can see all the way along the the flow that there’s some greenery has been likened up 30 36 years, I think. Since you know, so is Katie. Katie was an 80. It was 80. Okay, Okay. So 38. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, we went up there, and he was like, it was probably the fifth time. He’s called a Gerber baby. Like he totally is.
He’s got, like, the curly hair and chubby face. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like a total like, miniature version of you. Just, um, except with curly hair And like and like hope Theo, No worry in the world on a poopy diaper. Oh, man, he like such a joy to see him because I walk in the house and his his face just lights up. You know, he’s like, Oh, it’s just happy. Yeah, yeah. So unlike us. No, we’re pretty. We’re pretty happy. Yeah, I’d say. All right, so that’s I think we’re wrapped up on on the little stranger. Tell us what you think. If you see in the movie, Madam, did you like it? Yeah. I mean, the more I talk about, the more I feel like you have, maybe it’s maybe there’s a favor. Six but I know it’s not a six.
I don’t think Yeah, it does not go above an average. Yeah, I don’t think it’s not. I mean, it’s It’s slightly interesting. I think even the drama could be a little more interesting than it was. It’s weird how entertainment works, right? Because the Meg was just a really piece of crap as far as a CZ, for far as the story goes, right, Right. But, um, especially compared to this, You know, compared to this, the Meg had no story. It all. But it was fun enough. You know, it was like just eye candy and, like, corny lines And, like, China is going to take over the world. And it was entertaining in a totally different way. It’s already proven itself aggressive towards boats.
Huh? Um oh, man, I can’t remember any of the funny The funny lines. Those sharks have no fins. Okay, but but it was as entertaining. Almost. It was about the same level of movie, just totally different variety. Like, it’s just strange to me how entertainment works on our brains. Yeah, because this this is about where the Meg was, but just for totally different reasons. All right, let’s move on. Do you want to do the commercial? But first, a word from our sponsor taglines is brought to you by Costco Taquitos.
I thought we had more room in the freezer. Don’t buy your roller food from expensive convenience stores. Buy it in bulk with Costco taquitos just shoved in your freezer. You know, you lied. Someday I gotta practice for when those real sponsors start rolling is a tagline, e. I think that’s brilliant. I want to pat ourselves on the back for that. Yeah, that’s pretty good. I was skeptical, but it’s good. All right, The little stranger. Ah, spot a fright. A spot of fright. I like that. Like a spot of tea. There wasn’t enough tea in this movie. Normally, British anything is all about t references. Hey, can we have some tea now? I’m sure would like it if someone put on a fresh I like a fresh cuppa. Um, can I t give me more like there was No, This is This is David’s conception of any British period Pieces all t all that is not my conception. It’s just it’s just is my observation of all British it is like, Where’s the fucking T? Like it can all be summed up in like also, did we mention T.
It’s just too much tea going on. There wasn’t enough T references in this to be an accurate a period piece set in Britain. The only thing to fear is, Well, we’re working on that. Just hang out a little longer, Poop the end. Ah, that was good. Little stranger. The remains of the day, like Italy remains okay like a remains. Right? It’s a plan. No, it’s great. I love that movie. I have to explain it for to be funny. But it is funny. Once I explain now I’m laughing. That’s how comedy works inside. Okay, hang on. This this one requires some inflection. Thom, Yorke and Byork are on a collision course and Okay, let’s start that again. Oh, I love the idea that that Dom don’t know looks so much like Thom Yorke to me.
It’s ridiculous. No way. Oh, man, he looks just the same. And the girl and the lead actress looks just like Bjork to me. They just bizarre I could not disagree more. Okay, well, I mean, you’re a Gleason, your favorite band ever is his radio. But how could you? They’re both gingers. They’re both British. Thom Yorke is not a Ginger. He’s he’s not not a Ginger he No, he is not a gender. He, uh, we’ll agree to disagree. Absolutely agree to disagree, you know? I mean, this is just one. There’s no way to know is what I’m trying. All right. Anyways, we’ll accept the premise of the tagline and proceed. Thom, Yorke and Byork are on a collision course, and the only road to redemption is through the house that hall built. Join us this summer for the little stranger Hall wasn’t the house named Hall. It’s all house. It’s called hundreds, hundreds Hall. I thought it was whole house. No. So that it ruined my old tagline.
There’s many things that will ruin that tag line. That was a I will not. I won’t stand for these wild allegations. All right, well, let’s Ah ah, I’ll do this one. A little stranger, the heirs and their heirs, heirs, the heirs and their heirs asked. So the air’s is the name of the family. This another one that I need to explain, and it will be funny. The air’s is the name of the family heir, right. As in the descendants. Yeah. Ares, as in mistakes airs in there. Yeah, that’s appropriate response. My final one is met the movie. I’ve got a couple. They’re varying quality. But maybe one will make you left a little stranger, The snooty ist of poltergeist. Pretty good. Um, these air just kind of just English phrases. The little the little stranger will have no more of that nonsense. It would be better if I had a British accent or ah, little stranger. Just dreadful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And the last one, the little stranger. What’s wrong with his face? Yeah, Yeah, he had some pretty intense makeup going on. Yeah, and was one of the things I want to mention just real quick.
This movie was the constant promise of something interesting and never a delivery on that promise. It was just always like, Hey, something interesting is about to happen. How about No. No, not yet. How about No. Yeah. Even the quote unquote sexy. And I was just a blue balls. Was there sexy? Well, he starts. Was there There was a baby? No, it’s not is it? I was a baby, baby. Yes. I mean, they’re coming back there, a little drunk in the car on Dhe Faraday makes his move, and then she’s like, No. So there’s probably like, a little third base happening. Maybe. Yeah, it looked like it, but that was like, No, I can’t do this. Very unrequited love. So now we move thio from the Facebook. This isn’t This is new to me. I don’t know what this segment is. Man. I tell you what. It is hard to get engagement on social media. I now and end its soul sucking like if if if anybody can, can, like, just humor me while we’re making posts on Facebook into the Twitter, it would make it a little bit easier. Or maybe worse.
I don’t know. I think I’ve gotten some pretty good engaged, engaged. I think we have to. It’s just you’re always thinking about it, right? You know, I was talking. I was talking Thio our mutual friend Eric recently, and he is like and he you know, they he has a band and and so they you know, they do a lot of social media’s stuff, and he’s like, Oh, man, if necessary. But it just sucks your soul. And I was like, Yeah, that is what it does, isn’t it? Because you’re required toe toe Look at social media were and and a little bit of your soul hinges on it, you know? Ah. Hinges on somebody being like, Hey, that was cool. Yeah. And you being like, uh, give me that. Those Sweden door from Russia, right? Yeah. Somebody liking something that I did. Okay, so only, Ah, reboot the intro from the Facebook. Ooh, the unfriended.
Ah, the unfriended. Ah, reverse message. The upside down message sound. So I just wanted to kind of pull some stuff that we’ve been doing on the Facebook page. Um, did a couple questions and poles, I guess one of each. But it sounds like we’re really a you know, doing it up on Facebook. It was one. After our last episode on the Meg, we posted a question to Facebook Page. What is your favorite movie that used the ocean or an abyss to inspire dread? Yeah, and we got a lot of responses off of it. Um, Alicia Clawson said open water, which is a great response Yeah, that was one of the ones that came immediately. To my mind, Scott Allen says Finding Nemo Garrett, your brother says Captain Phillips, I’m the captain now. Justin, going traditional is jaws.
Oh, yeah. And he said deeply, see. And the spear? Oh, man. Sphere. I wanted to talk about that sphere. That’s a great call because I remember being a early teenager when the sphere came out and just being that was dreadful to me. Like it inspired terror within me. Yeah, I think I read the book before I saw the movie and I don’t remember anything about either one of them.
What? It was very claustrophobic. And it was like, You get near this fear that’s that that they discovered at the bottom of the ocean. And it’s all gold and shit starts operating like like your worst nightmares start, start coming true. And it was just very it was It was like Event horizon, basically, but underwater And before I think it was before, right last responses from Evan reading the nine hours on the Hobbit box set that isn’t That is a truly dreadful feeling talking about the runtime. Yeah, looking at the run time for the Hobbit. Yeah, I I only have seen I think I saw the 1st 1 in the 2nd 1 The one that ended with smog. I didn’t see the last one. I think I only saw the 1st 1 I mean, I like Lord of the Rings. Obviously the quality and dropped off so much in The Hobbit between Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
Wonder why I mean, I guess because they tried to split it up. Make it make it 33 hour long movies. No, I know why. Because I saw a behind the scenes stuff. They gave Peter Jackson no time for preparation like they were building. They’re building the train tracks as the train was speeding down the track, That area very interested. And there’s like vignettes of them shooting battle sequences. When they didn’t even know what was supposed to happen in the battle sequence. They just had a bunch of people with swords, like fighting each other to get shots. And eventually they just I think Andy Circus, the guy that plays Gholam, was directing them, and eventually he’s like, uh, let’s just stop guys, we don’t know what’s going on. And then it takes, like a month long hiatus to even just figure out what’s. That’s very interesting. So So, given that they’re spectacular, well, that really puts it in the context. Because because, you know, I mean, the obvious comparison is you go, Lord of the Rings. Hobbit. Right? Look at this one. Look at that. Look at that one. That one of the best trilogies ever made.
Probably the best trilogy ever made. Lord of the Rings by, uh, what what could beat it? I mean, Starr Worse. Okay, Yes, True. But right. Right next to it. Right next to Star Wars stands. Lord of the Rings. Right as faras fantasy. I mean, there’s not even there hasn’t even been a film that was successful in the fantasy genre in movies that can compare to Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I can’t I can’t really think of one. But when you So when you set the hobbit next to Lord of the Rings, you get up, do you? But when you consider that it was a that I didn’t know that, you know, it was such a train wreck of ah, production, right? Yeah. Okay. And then the other thing we had on our Facebook pages, we posted a poll of slashers or found footage. Which do you like more? Which do you like more dead heat 50% and 50% on each of them. I’m interested to hear from the people who like slashers more.
I get it like I like slashes. Okay, It might be a generational thing. It might be, I mean, but if that were so like, I would be of the slasher category, right? But I’m very much the found footage guy. Yeah. I mean, I think we both voted for a found footage. Yeah, I think that’s what we’re into. Yeah, I know. It’s hard to say. I don’t see any obvious lions to draw from who responded. Now there’s some interesting stuff about about both that kind of crossover. So, like, for example, I’m thinking like Halloween, right? So Halloween kind of introduced the first person perspective camera behind the mask. You know, it’s like it’s like it, which is essentially that’s like found footed way before found footage. It’s not footage being found, but it’s shot in the same way it’s a lurking and, ah, but you’re putting a perspective of like the killer.
And then you get to watch and perpetrate this horrible crimes against against, you know, his family and friends and stuff like that. And then there’s also aspects of that that inspired dread in found footage that are make you feel that kind of that same sense of, like, dreadful helplessness where because the camera will be like stationery and you’ll, you know you’ll see somebody walking up behind somebody else and there’s nothing you could do. It’s just right that just wait for it. Yeah, it’s that kind of thing. So get it. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, that’s interesting. 50 50. So, anyways, that was from the Facebook last off. Just wanted to cover some horror movie news. Upcoming movies This week, the nun is coming out will be seen. That and doing another episode next Wednesday will be the release. Um, I just want to say the trailer for the nun has the most effective jump scare I’ve ever seen.
Yeah, I know it. I’ve seen it six times. Yeah, isn’t over theater. I’ll jump every time. Like I know exactly what’s happening. And even this last time, it’s still got me every time it works. I don’t necessarily jump, but it alarms me, Right. I go Overlord is another trailer in the movie. From what I could gather, it’s a movie about a drug that makes you arch your back. Yeah. Um, it’s a It’s a It’s a Nazi killing movie. Yeah, I think not to use Super Army movie. It looked like wolfenstein the movie to me. Right? Uh, first time I saw the trailer for health test. Was it the little stranger? Have you seen trailer? I’ve just seen that trailer before. It’s like a pretty generic slasher. Yeah, set in a really scary, haunted house. Not in like a theme park content, unlike a haunted theme park.
Well, they got, like, the haunted houses where it’s, you know, your generic content house that maybe like a high school could make. But now they have these extreme like nineties, you know, starting with the letter X extreme haunted house where it’s an experience, and they will literally, like, dunk your head in water and do shit to you That will actually make you start wondering if you should have done this. Yeah, like, yeah, Like whore like, uh, like um, haunted houses that make you say, like that mad brand advertised on the radio until you, It’s inexperience so terrifying You need to sign a waiver. So it sze jumping on that train The predator.
Oh, Pimm’s out in two weeks. So excited for the Predator. Yeah, the printer is David’s favorite franchise. I love it other than you know. What do you like more Predator aliens? And I mean, they’re They’re I mean, they’re of the same variety. I like alien more. I’d say I love the I love the universe like I love the comics. I love the movies. I love Prometheus. I love all of it. It’s all it’s the best from So the thing that I am, I’m not super interested in print. I think the Predator movies that I’ve seen is probably most of the original, because I watched it with my brother on as a kid. Um, I saw Alien versus Predator, which is one of the worst movies, and then this one I’m excited about because it’s written. I think it’s written and directed by Shane Black. Did you see predators? The most recent one with, uh, Adrien Brody, Adrien Brody, Adrien Brody a dream. Brody plays dream. Really? Yeah.
That one was pretty good. Yeah. Um, yeah. So Shane Black. He was actually in the original Predators, and he apparently punched up the script of the original Predator. Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool. And so, um, Shane Black is the guy that does a lot of buddy cop movies and is the best at it. So he did Lethal weapon. And he did. Ah, the good guys. Most recently which I loved. I loved the good guys. I did not like the good guess that makes it. So he’s done a couple Donald Glover.
Don’t Donald Glover movies, then because he must he must have got his hands on Predator, too. Yeah, maybe I don’t I’m not sure, but Predator to was one of these, like it was like it was made naughty to me because I watched as a kid and there was a lot. There was, like, nudity and drugs and, like, extreme gore, you know, there was like us, You know, the predator, like, pulled a spinal cord in skull out of a dude’s body. And so it was that did that in the 1st 1 to, um uh I don’t think so. Call it. It’s there. It’s basically predator. The predators do that. That is their deal. They pull your skull in your spinal column out, so it probably you’re probably right. But so, yeah, I think Shane Black on the 1st 1 wasn’t even really credited. But he was like, he definitely his hands were on that script to put it up a little, Like any of the kind of sarcastic stuff that that sells the ridiculous lines. Um, has probably had Shane Black. Okay, Right in it. So I think I think that that is ah, very hopeful for that movie. Um, just a za public service. I looked at what’s arriving on Netflix and Amazon prime this month on Netflix.
You might be interested in King Kong. The one with Jack Black. Uh ah. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The beginning, September 17th. The witch. Which is, if you have not seen it. See it fabulous. One of the greatest movies I’ve ever watched. I mean, if you’re looking for a period piece horror movie, watch the way that I don’t think there’s anything better than the which. Yeah, just impressive it. The guy used the actual transcripts of court records to write the script. So it’s so close to sail on the language. Yeah, yeah. Which trial? Yeah. Um, Amazon prime this month pulled you guys to the other side who still haven’t seen that one. You haven’t seen polder guys to know.
I’ve only seen the 1st 1 I’m not a fan. I like older guys. I mean, I like anything. Spielberg, everybody, everybody. I cannot hate Spielberg. I just, uh um, Pumpkinhead one and two will be on Amazon prime blood wings. Ah, the Amityville Horror. The original 1919 1979 version and at the very end of the month, Jigsaw. If you’re into that, I like the amany. I’m medieval whore. It’s one of those ones. Kind of like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The original that is Maur made more alarming by the fact that it feels gross. You know, it just feels dirty and ah, the quality of the film feels dirty And you feel dirty, like the subject matter just just makes you feel gross. And it works very well. See, I thought you I thought you abstain from any torture porn movies. What you did you just say You didn’t like it, But you did like Amityville Horror.
Oh, I thought your time, Jackson. I’m sorry. Oh, no. Yeah, I haven’t. I I don’t I didn’t I mean, I watched the first saw, and and I think I watched one or two of the others. But for the most part, Yeah, I don’t get off on on. No, on that stuff. I don’t like violence for violence is sake to, like still watch it, gore and then the last bit, um, sounds like a quiet place is getting a sequel. Who should be released in 2020. I would like them to do a sequel. Where? Just John Krasinski Kick him quiet place, monster ass. Just like taking out a shotgun. Like with this little, uh, with the weight. Does John Krasinski survive now in that movie? Okay, so I guess if Emily Blunt, Emily Blunt kicking monster asked just a shotgun and ah, and ah, your piece the best. Whatever.
Whatever makes that sound the best thing they could do for this movie is treated the way the Cloverfield creators have treated. Cloverfield, in my opinion, is like an anthology movie. Yeah, slightly rearranged. Changed the format. You know, first Cloverfield was found footage. The second was 10 Cloverfield Lane, and it was not found footage. It was a legit, uh, film rod. That was John Goodman doing, like, the scariest interpretation of a of a prepper that you’ve ever ever seen. Um, and and and the the way they dance around the kind of hoops, the way they dance around the subject, matter of the thing, you’re supposed to be scared off, and they never let it really get in frame too much. And they never explain too much. Yeah, that would be the best thing they could do for a quiet place. Yeah, I think I mean, personally, I think they should just leave it. Just just leave it. It’s a great one off movie. Quiet place to police allowed much louder than the first.
That was a great movie, because because of watching it in a theater full of people, including a bunch of rowdy teenagers who went dead silent for the movie. I mean, why would? But now that I think of it, why wouldn’t the government just, like, put a big, loud loudspeaker in a mall parking lot and just have them all attack, you know, put it behind a wall, make it make it like a like Oh, yeah. There’s people inside. This seems like a problem.
That’s all of the monsters coming attack and then just vomit like, Yeah, I’m pretty sure bomb would blow up the monster, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I know. I mean, if if it didn’t blow it up, it’s certainly definite. Yeah. Didn’t you hear me now? Oh, that’s a good name. The quiet play. A quiet place to Can you hear me now, Mary? Yeah. There you go. All right. You got anything that would be, like the quiet place to And then the tagline is just popcorn crunching sounds. Shut up. Put it away. All right, that’s it for this episode. Thanks again for listening.
Please share the podcast with a friend if you got anyone that you go see horror movies with or if you’re not into this kind of stuff and you’re just being friendly and nice to us because you know us shared with someone that you do know watches, horror movies. Ah, love feedback. Let us know how we’re doing. There’s anything you’d like to hear about on our Facebook or in our post comments? Um, you can see Ah, previous episodes on horror movie talk dot com subscribed to us and raid us on iTunes special thanks to, I must say, Mark. Mark, you’re giving us feedback on. You know what he wants to hear about the ratings? Awesome. Yeah, All right. I’m Bryce. I’m David, and this was a horror movie talk.
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The Meg Review
Aug 24, 2018
The Meg is a run-of-the-mill, but well-executed monster movie starring Jason Statham and the sovereign nation of China. Jason Statham plays Jonus Taylor, an expert rescue diver who is retired after a tragically failed rescue, which Jonus blames on a giant fish or something (but no one believes him). He is brought out of retirement after another diving accident befalls his ex-wife who was researching the deepest, hidden depths of the ocean. Before her video feed cuts out, she says “Jonus was right!”.
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The big fish ends up being a megalodon, a giant shark, that they inadvertently lead to surface waters. From then on, it’s a paint by numbers monster movie that hits every beat you would expect it to. The Meg also stars a cast of disposable characters played by Bingbing Li, a Chinese actress you might have seen in Transformers Age of Extinction, Ruby Rose channeling Aeon Flux, Rainn Wilson phoning it in, and others.
It hits all the marks, the witty banter is slightly less cringy than most generic action movies, but there isn’t anything notable that makes it better than average.
If You Like Shark Movies, Check Out Our Review of 47 Meters Down: Uncaged.
There really isn’t much to spoil here. The shark eats many people, but not the protagonist. They kill said shark. The end.
The only notable aspect of the movie is how custom tailored it is for the Chinese audience. Several of the main characters are Chinese, Mandarin is spoken throughout, and the main set piece action sequence at the end is on a Chinese beach. The strategy has paid off though, The Meg has made one and a half times as much in China as the domestic box office.
Is The Meg Worth Seeing?
The Meg would be a great movie to watch on cable. It’s not necessary to see it in theaters unless you are really into monster movies. It is a truly average popcorn movie that is tailored to mass appeal. The plot doesn’t have a lot of “bite.” All of the deaths are righteous or noble.
In summary, This movie is great for middle-aged dads that like shark week and drinking beer. If you like dumb monster movies, then this will be a fine notch in your belt.
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Slender Man Movie Review
Aug 13, 2018
The hardest part about watching Slender Man, for me, is having to sit down and write about it now. Don’t get me wrong, the watching of the movie was not fun in any way, shape, or form. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the individual parts of this movie because there really weren’t any. It was one big confusing mess that director Sylvain White cobbled together from writing duo David Birke and Slender Man character creator Victor Surge.
If you want to watch Slender Man, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
This thing is rough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySy8mcceTno
Not redeemable, not enjoyable, not so bad that it’s good, just bad in the same way as when you realize you have explosive diarrhea – there is no good time for it, and you just wish it never happened.
Slender Man (the character) was created in 2009 by Victor Surge and has been featured in thousands of creepypasta stories, videos, video games, and movies since his creation. He’s an abnormally tall looking humanoid figure who has elongated legs and arms, wears a suit, and who often shows up in the woods to torment or abduct kids.
In 2014 there was a stabbing in Wisconsin where some pre-teen girls stabbed their peer 19 times in the woods to try to appease the fictional, woods-dwelling slenderest of men…they are both serving lengthy periods in mental health facilities for their heinous act. The victim survived. All this to say, Slender Man has taken on some pretty serious folklore and followings among the youth of America.
This movie is rated PG-13 and aims to target to youth of America, and dear sweet jeebus help us all if this thing gets through to them. Not because I’m worried that they will commit horrible acts, but because if they liked this movie I would lose all faith in our future.
My Rating
2/10
Like Movies About Kids Fighting Evil? Check Out Our Review of IT (2017)
There is nothing to be spoiled in this movie because most of it is impossible to follow. You would do much better to listen to the podcast for the rundown, but here it goes anyway.
Here is every Slender Man appearance in the whole movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5RHzn1XpEU
Four teenage girls learn about Slender Man. Knowing about Slender Man is enough to infect them with Slender Man-itis. He haunts their dreams, and causes them to see him everywhere. One by one they are picked off by this skinny boi until only one or two are left. They try to fight against him but his tall, thin frame is too much for them to resist – they all eventually die?
I’m not sure what happened in this movie, honestly, I am still confused.
How Slender Man Stacks Up
It does not stack up.
This movie takes being bad very seriously. There was no point where I was scared, except for about 15 minutes into it when I realize I had an hour and 15 to go. If you want a real scare involving Slender Man, look up some of the top tier creepypasta that has been written about him.
Please, do not support this movie.
May Slender Man take mercy on our souls for creating this abomination.
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Unfriended: Dark Web Review
Jul 28, 2018
Unfriended: Dark Web is the sequel to the 2014 movie, Unfriended, and if you saw the first movie you might be bracing for impact – don’t. Dark Web is a great deal more enjoyable than the first movie, and only ports over the computer screen viewing format of Unfriended.
If you want to watch Unfriended: Dark Web, please consider renting or purchasing the movie through this amazon link to help us support the podcast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DJAWGXkvq8
There isn’t much else that ties this sequel to its predecessor, which is a good thing. Frankly, I’m not too sure why they chose to keep the series going instead of just starting over, but there you have it.
Having seen the first movie, I was ready for a big letdown walking into the theater on the opening weekend. The setup and lead-in to Dark Web let me dangle and confirmed my worst fears, this was going to be a rehashing of the original. The acting and script seemed corny, and the movie relied mostly on the strange and slightly jarring format of watching someone use a computer.
If You like AI Gone Wrong Listen to Our Review of Child’s Play (2019)
Stephen Susco, the same man that brought us the classic, The Grudge, brings us this, and I can’t say that this is quite as iconic.
If you are familiar with this format, it’s just as mentioned – watching someone use a computer. Imagine standing behind someone who is using a computer and watching their mouse drag slowly across the screen.
Maybe the cursor sits for a little bit on a button or circles around a piece of dialog to emphasize it’s importance. This describes almost the entire movie. At first, it’s very distracting, it later becomes pretty easy to follow and is executed well.
I could see the format being confusing enough to my parents for them to turn this movie off immediately.
My Rating
6/10
Spoilers: The Rundown
It starts with Matias, the protagonist, trying to login to a computer that he took from a cyber-café that he works at.
The action starts with a group of friends meeting online over Skype for a long-distance game night. The protagonist, Mat and his deaf girlfriend, Amaya have several asides that point to relationship tension over his neglecting to learn sign language. While the game night ensues, Mat begins getting strange and alarming messages from a Facebook account that claims he stole the laptop he is using.
Eventually, Mat finds some alarming videos on his stolen computer, videos that nod at things like rape, human trafficking, and human torture. He does his best not to get sucked into this world but ends up being entrapped by the owner of the computer and told that if he doesn’t keep up his end of a twisted bargain he, his girlfriend, and all his friends on Skype will be killed.
Stuff happens, and it ramps into a sort of Final Destination style kill-fest with a pretty decent twist.
To cap it all off, Unfriended: Dark Web was released to theaters with two different endings. There is no easy way to find out which theater has which ending, but I would suggest asking the employees which one they got – it could work!
How Unfriended: Dark Web Stacks Up
Once the action starts to kick in, and you realize that the antagonist in this movie is a real person who is willing to do horrible things to people in real life and not a supernatural killer like in the first movie, it really comes into its own.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lve29BQ69MM
The acting pulled a fast one on me in the beginning, making me think that this was going to be a poorly acted, generic and forgettable horror movie, but all the actors gave an admirable performance when called upon to be believable.
If continuity errors bother you tremendously, there will be plenty of spots in Unfriended: Dark Web that will niggle you. My suggestion would be to go in, suspend your disbelief, and have a good time.
As far as I can tell, they were shooting for a PG-13 rating while making this but the darker concepts of human trafficking and torture, while not substantially present, were enough to push it to an R. It’s a light R.
This is a fun movie that surprised me in a good way; I think you should see it.
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The Devil’s Doorway Review
Jul 25, 2018
This found footage movie focuses on one of Ireland’s Magdalene Laundries, which you would think would provide enough basis for solid terror to be spooky on its own. As it turns out, The Devil’s Doorway is not terribly spooky, it’s not even spoopy, it just kind of is.
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This movie focuses on two priests who are sent to investigate some reports of miracles that were made by those that inhabit this particular Magdalene Laundry, and they end up finding a demonically impregnated young woman who is imprisoned by some pretty questionable nuns.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF6wtgdJ8B4&t=2s
I was excited for this movie because usually, Catholic horror movies capitalize on all the weirdest in a long line of weird stuff that Catholicism offers us. You have everything from officially recognized possession, to ancient architecture, to clergy that has something terrible or perverse to hide. This movie touch on all these aspects, and still manages to be pretty forgettable.
As mentioned above, this is a found footage movie, but they put their flavor on it by setting it in 1960. I have no idea how large the film camera that Father John (played by Ciaran Flynn) carries around must be, but it can’t be small, and for that, I applaud his efforts.
If you aren’t a fan of found footage, this has all the things that you dislike the most about the format, lots of jiggly-running, plenty of out of focus shots, and lots of panning around looking for something that isn’t there. It even adds what I call “the strobe effect.” The strobe effect involves the light that is attached to the camera (and is often the only source of light) very reliably going out for about one out of every ten seconds for a good portion of this movie.
If you like the found footage format, the only thing that might bother you about this is the aforementioned, “strobe effect.” It’s clear that director Aislinn Clarke cared about this movie, it just didn’t translate very well.
Father Thomas (Lalor Roddy) and Father John (Ciaran Flynn) are dispatched to a Magdalene Laundry by the Vatican to investigate some purported miracles. They are met by a steely Mother Superior ( Helena Bereen) who is not thrilled about being investigated by the Vatican.
https://youtu.be/FOYRKjimCSA
As the older Father Thomas and younger Father John talk, we learn that Father Thomas has essentially lost his faith in God. He has investigated many miracles for the church and has always found the culprit to be a person of faith. Similarly, he mentions that the worst evils perpetrated on earth are done by man.
We meet Kathleen (Lauren Coe) who is imprisoned in the bowels of the laundry and chained to the walls. Kathleen is a pregnant virgin who seems to be the polar opposite of the Mother Mary. As we wade through the plethora of jump-scares, Kathleen eventually gives birth. I’m going to be honest, I don’t think I saw the baby, and I didn’t even know there was one.
Jump-scares bring us into a system of tunnels below the laundry, where more jump-scares lead us on a demon-baby chase. Stuff happens, and the end is pretty underwhelming.
How The Devil’s Doorway Stacks Up
This movie misses plenty of opportunities as it progresses. The setting is great – the subject matter is hard to mess up – the acting is pretty darn good. It’s forgettable and has some annoying tendencies. The strobe effect soon became the focal point of my annoyance as I waited for the next reliable light’s out moment. The jump-scares were fast and furious. The audio was terrible, and I mean terrible.
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My entry into horror movies came through the 
Hellfest is a traveling horror night that rolls into town and a group of friends get VIP passes to go and enjoy the spooks. Think of it as a haunted house that covers an entire theme park. Little do they know that hidden among the park employees is a masked killer that picks off visitors that aren’t scared.
