Help Me Be Me

Latest Episodes:

Ep 207: The Long Game – Healthy Boundaries for Complicated Arrangements Sep 27, 2023

Show notes

This is for issues related to couples or former couples who are bound together by some means – whether that be a business, children, or a living circumstance. OR perhaps you are in a long-term relationship that is no longer healthy or loving that you are choosing to remain in, for a particular reason. This is for navigating from an empowered and compassionate position, negotiating voicing your needs when they might conflict with the needs or wishes of the other.

This is for getting to the truth of the experience – seeing what needs boundary work, and also what is outside of your control. A lot of our pain comes from resisting something that simply needs processing/to move through our body.

The goal of this episode is to give you a change of perspective so you can act from a place of agency and honesty. Sending love, friends. Take heart…Life is long and complicated, it has many seasons – things will continue to change, so leave room for that.

If you like this work, please support our sponsors!

Take the drama out of planning an outfit and upgrade your closet with Quince today! Go to Quince.com/helpmebeme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to EarthBreeze.com/helpmebeme

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 206: Not Falling Into Someone Else – Staying confidently yourself in relationships Sep 15, 2023

Show notes

Relationships are very difficult because we get lost in them: they can overtake our sense of self, especially if that relationship is long term and we don’t have a lot of contact with others outside of the relationship. This is a reminder to come back into your own shoes – if we tip off balance we start to default to what someone else wants or what we think they want us to do. To the other person, this can also feel like we don’t respect ourselves.

I use this metaphor often for relationships but they’re like a rubber band is around both people and we have to keep it taught by walking together, but separately. There should be equal and voluntary gift giving/taking, and if that balance has been tipped and things are growing lopsided, the most important thing you need to do is register and react to that truth.

This episode has tools for getting back in touch with your sense of self and also tools for setting healthy boundaries, if you are in a situation where the other person is encouraging the enmeshment.

Support this weeks sponsors!

Brooklinen.com – promo code HELPMEBEME

Experience the difference for yourself, and check out Brooklinen’s new fall collection! Visit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com, and use code HELPMEBEME for $20 off your online order of $100 or more.

RocketMoney.com/HelpMeBeMe

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills—all in one place. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/HelpMeBeMe

HelloFresh.com/50HelpMeBeMe

Hello Fresh is America’s number one meal kit! Go to HelloFresh.com/50HelpMeBeMe and use code 50helpmebeme for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months!

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 205: Course Correcting - Taking an inventory of change Aug 29, 2023

Show notes

How we relate to our life and what it contains is always being renegotiated and that is positive and healthy. Sometimes our priorities change or our needs change. Or areas of friction are notifying us that we are ready to change. This episode is about course correcting: looking at areas of feedback or friction in your own life – and also those that arise in relationships. It’s for taking an inventory of any negative trends that perhaps aren’t serving you. Course correction is really another term for intentionality.

This is for reorienting your path toward what you want, including things like autonomy and balance. This is related to your relationship with your life, and your relationship with others – so I have some tools around codependency.

This is inspired by several letters I’ve gotten where people say they have a problem, that they are a certain way and they end up with a certain result, and how that can feel defeating. And I wanted to address that by saying this is the beginning of change! It’s an invitation. Life is forever a process, which is the fun of it. Place this frame around all work you may be doing: this feedback is helping us get where we want to go. There is no such thing as “this is the way I am” because we are always in motion.

Sending love and to see any more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 204: Over-Giving in Relationships: A Codependency Workshop Aug 17, 2023

Show notes

If you are a caregiver type or your relationship is somewhat uneven, this is an episode aimed at looking inward. It’s for seeing your role in how the imbalance is created. TBC, this is about becoming aware. Not making big moves or changes. Just simple curiosity and awareness. This is an episode that is going to challenge you!

There’s this totally unconscious thing that happens as you are revealed next to someone. We start to feel vulnerable and with that, we seek control. This is when we start to do more and give more as a means of feeling more secure. It’s to abate feelings of “less-than.”

If you are someone who gets too wrapped up in the thoughts or feelings of others then I think this episode will resonate with you. This also extends to feeling like you need others to act a certain way, or feeling like you are doing it all and the other person in your relationship is not doing enough. In other words, getting stuck in a caregiver role or a role where you are the one who is overactive, and they are the one who is under-active.

What it really comes down to is not being able to accept the truth of someone as they are. In that denial there is some overcompensation that occurs which leads to feeling really angry at them for not being the way you want them to be.

So that’s where this episode is focused! For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com

To support this week’s sponsors check out:

Quince! Lovely minimalist fashion without the designer pricetag. Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Go to Quince.com/helpmebeme to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order.

Meet Earth Breeze! My new favorite detergent. Better for the planet, and SO much easier to use. Right now, my listeners can subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to EarthBreeze.com/HelpMeBeMe

Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/helpmebeme

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 203: A Personal Check-in: Where do I stand + where am I going? Aug 01, 2023

Show notes

This podcast is a reminder to come back to the best of you–the best thoughts, the best energy, the best focus. It’s somewhat a reflection episode: a time to get right with yourself and get tuned. There is nothing wrong or lessor about the life you have chosen – it is important to know and embrace that self. To see your decisions as founded on the past you have lived.

Make your life, your mission and your focus about what is meaningful to you. Do not make it a reaction to others. Know where you stand and where you’re going. Welcome that feedback around what isn’t working, and what is. This will set us free from false missions.

This episode is also to tune your energy if you have gotten into a groove of feeling less-than/exhausted/a victim. Or simply less than grateful. The tools in this episode will also remind you of how to jump what I would call energetic channels. It’s super easy to fall into a groove of feeling a particular way, day after day. To forget glee and optimism. It becomes an addiction of sorts–stress, depression and anger feed themselves. But we can remember how to feel another way and resume that feeling of excitement and gratitude. Ready to welcome something new and great.

Support this week’s sponsor! Hello Fresh!

Go to HelloFresh.com/helpmebeme50 and use code helpmebeme50 for 50% off plus free shipping!

To check out a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza, you can click here.

And to check out the art and work of my friend who passed away check here.

Sending my love to all of you out there! Looking for more? Visit me at YayWithMe.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 202: Tapping Into Your Dreamer: Big You and Little You Jul 19, 2023

Show notes

This is a motivation-based episode for creative individuals. What is that thing you really, genuinely want but some part of you is halfway trying to let it slip away? It’s that weird thing we do – we decide to forget. It’s related to subconscious fears but also an energy-saving setting that we tend to fall into because we are quite literally exhausted and distracted by external alerts, haptics, notifications and bright interface lights. We basically live with slot machines in our hands. The mental tank is tapped by regular, everyday functioning so the glucose is short.

To really start to change our habits in favor of what we deeply want, sometimes we steer our lives by watching our feet walk in a new direction, despite our brain.

This is all about what I’m calling The Two You’s – the dreamer and the worrier, and how we can really look at ourselves from outside ourselves in order to make the right decisions and investments in life. Because a lot of what guides us is a sense of habit.

Here are the links I mentioned, the first being Adam Grant’s Ted podcast called Rethinking (former sponsor of the show).

And the fiction book I am enjoying called “Waiting for the Barbarians.”

And last the Rick Rubin interview with Trent Reznor which speaks to showmanship.

And lastly, to support my work and make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

EP 201: Working With the Energy of Scarcity - Choosing fulfillment Jul 05, 2023

Show notes

Do you feel you’re out of time, that there are not enough resources, or that you have to overdeliver because you are not keeping up? This is for anyone who is pervasively focusing on what they need and lack over what they have and what is bountiful.

This is an episode about ways to be more conscious, SLOW DOWN, and really deliberately move your body and mind and energy into a state of trust. Trust in self. Trust in time. Trust in the universe and in your safety. Maybe everything is just fine and perfect, as it is now.

A lack/scarcity mentality is something we may have developed at a young age that we can’t stop flexing as adults. Like a hamster gathering seeds from our food bowl and hoarding in a corner. This is a bad habit and a perspective that is self-inflicted, so the good news is we can teach ourselves out of it.

This episode is dedicated to Little Richard, graffiti artist known by the name of XPRES. My first crush. Always true to himself. He recently passed away, very unexpectedly. This was already and episode I was writing but his death definitely brought this into sharper focus.

Sending love to all of you. If you want to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 200: Getting Back Into the Energy of Limitlessness: Mental Tuning Exercises Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

Everything we live is either a bad habit or a good habit. What are you rehearsing feeling?

This is for remembering a sense of limitlessness, and by that I mean the perspective of openness and optimism. We all have days like that – when we can see “wow, anything is possible and I am capable of anything!” When we feel our best, most confident and we feel strongly that the universe is on our side. Yet we can also fall into grooves of feeling small, limited and put upon. But the good news is we can jump out of that energy by reminding ourselves that the former exists. It’s a memory of reality that we can resume.

So my hope with this episode is that you wilk really remember how that feels – to live in an awareness of your own limitlessness.

For more of my work and to make a donation head to Yay With Me! xo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 199: Healing from Choosing Bad Relationships: Coming Back Home to Yourself Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

This is about codependency and how it can make it hard to choose right. This is aimed at changing the goal you have in your search for love.

This is for anyone who has a habit of choosing bad relationships and therefore they feel like they cannot be happy. Maybe you have a pattern of super meh relationships and you don’t really know if you like the other person, or maybe you have a pattern of really legit terrible relationships where you are chosen by that other person and they adore you, but you find again and again they are a mess and your job is to clean them up and beg for tiny crumbs of getting your needs met.

A lot of the time when we grow up with dysfunction and chaos, we find that we are unable to judge the other people we meet because we don’t have a connection to our inner compass. And we are struggling to feel safe, so we constantly focus on the others around us. As we get older we are still in this state of reacting to everything around ourselves. And as a way to get relief from our anxiety, we help and soothe others. We build them up, fix them and make them our project. When someone sees beauty and greatness in us and we share a connection, the pain goes away and we fall deeply in love. But this is a love that depletes us – we are constantly trying to come back to that feeling of intoxication: the moment when we were seen, loved unconditionally, and the other person made all the pain go away. But instead, we find that we are still working and working for crumbs.

If this sounds like you – and perhaps you are aware of it, and sick of it, and thinking you cannot ever find love, know that that thinking is not helpful or functional. And it’s not true. It’s just where you are right now, but that can change. You have to actively want to change that – to see the issue at the root and work on it from there.

This one’s for Aubrey.

To support this week’s sponsors head to Life MD !

LifeMD.com/HelpMeBeMe

LifeMD is the simplest way to get the healthcare you need, where and when you need it. Become a LifeMD member today for on-demand video visits with a doctor, unlimited messaging with your LifeMD care team, and so much more. Membership plans start at a little more than a dollar a day, so don’t wait.

Visit lifemd.com/HelpMeBeMe to get started, and experience the difference of virtual healthcare.

To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 198: Fear of Conflict: Getting comfortable voicing your needs in your relationship May 24, 2023

Show notes

This is about growing comfortable asking for what you want, and also comfortable when someone else does not give that to you. Really stepping back in that moment and accepting that at face value. Not taking another person personally and also not getting pulled into inner narratives around their response can result in a total night and day outcome in how you experience your life. This is also about setting healthy boundaries in relationships specifically in how you demand good treatment for yourself. I would say this episode may resonate more with those who consider themselves recovering codependents, like myself.

Standing up for yourself and your needs is an important habit to keep, so you can keep yourself and your relationship safe. I don’t mean that everything has to be a fight– this is not about focusing on the bad things over the good things. This is really about taking the stigma out of bringing up how you’d like to be loved and cared for so you can continue to be healthy in your relationship.

Many issues that come up in our intimate relationships are co-created by the fears and unmet needs of our past. This episode will also give you some awareness around taking in the other person’s response, so you don’t take it personally if/when they respond badly to voicing personal issues. Because often half of what another person perceives is their projection of their own past unmet needs.

Support our sponsors this week! Check out RocketLanguages.com

Sign up for a free trial today and discover the joy of speaking Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Chinese, and many more languages like a local. Use the promo code HELPMEBEME to get up to $200 off on any language.

Visit rocketlanguages.com to get started today!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected