Help Me Be Me

Latest Episodes:

Ep 179: Difficult Relationships + the power of projection Aug 30, 2022

Show notes

For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled...

Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them.

This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com

The two articles I mention in this episode are here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection

https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology

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Ep 178: Inner Shine: Curating joyful energy + a sense of aliveness Aug 16, 2022

Show notes

This is for anyone who with a tendency toward a lack perspective – maybe you default to a survival mode of unconscious “doing” and because of that your life is somewhat based in “not enough” / a sense of being less-than. This is a recipe to help you transition out of that. The motivation for this episode is I have always had a fear/lack perspective and a desire for safety, which was underlying many of my decisions in adult life. I think this is also something interwoven into confidence/self-love issues. So take note if that seems true for you. It may show up as being risk-adverse. Or subtly resisting powerful roles in your life. Or perhaps in the way you date: choosing people who have serious issues.

This is all about getting into that state of inner “shine.” Feeling fully alive and present and living your life from this energy, as an intentional practice. Not just “checking the boxes, doing the things and keeping up” but shining from the inside out.

What does shine energy feel like? Bounty. Joy. Love and energy – like “I can run the whole way down the trail.” Like “I am a kid again and there is no such thing as gravity or fatigue.” But not just in a physical sense. In a view of the world, sense.

Here’s the book I am reading (and liking) that I mentioned called The Enlightenment Project:

https://amzn.to/3bsAP81

Here’s Martha Beck’s podcast “The Gathering Pod” that I mentioned:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gathering-pod/id1544173982

To make a donation or see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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Ep 177: Couples Counseling – when to do it + the ways it can help Aug 02, 2022

Show notes

This is for anyone considering attending couples counseling and you are unsure of what to look for or perhaps you are hesitant about going because you don’t know if it will be effective.

This is also for if you are in fight loops and your conflicts are not being solved and things are being heightened. If you find that you are both throwing out intense ultimatums and yet both staying in the relationship, it’s definitely worth trying – and also shopping for the right person who brings out the deeper emotional truths in both of you. If you haven’t done it before – this is my opinion as a married person: Why you’re doing it as well as what happens while you’re there.

I also think a lot of people believe, “I’m doing everything right and my partner is doing everything wrong.” And they go to couples counseling not knowing what the goal is or expecting the counselor to tell their partner, “You are wrong and you should listen to everything your partner is saying.” And so I wanted to give you my two cents on how to approach couples counseling in the hopes that it will allow you to get something better out of it. So this may help you identify a goal for yourself in therapy – with your partner, so you can curate that result.

I think of a couples counselor as a translator in many ways. They are also containers for the deeper feelings to be revealed so that both can shift behavior toward love and or decisions that are loving. Take what helps and leave the rest! Sending love.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 176: The Power of Openness– An interview with author Pam Grout Jul 19, 2022

Show notes

This is my (fan-girl) interview with Pam Grout – author, amazing human being & teacher of love and positivity. She has written 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind. One of the topics we discuss is disengaging from expectations! A lot of people struggle with unconsciousness. By that I mean getting lost in thoughts. In busyness. In mental commentating. In future expectations. We don’t realize how powerful expectations are as well as judgment of neutral facts–in creating our reality. When we can be open to seeing the alternate version of that same reality everything changes. Including the future we create for ourselves.

If you want to find Pam definitely read her blog and subscribe to get them via email:

https://pamgrout.com/

Here's her new book - The Course in Miracles Experiment:

https://amzn.to/3RGGQyp

And if you want to make a donation to the 222 Foundation, you can head here:

https://www.dccfoundation.org/fund/Taz-Grouts-222-Fund

If you want to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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Ep 175: Non-Stop Seeking – For feeling empty, never enough and unfulfilled Jul 06, 2022

Show notes

A meditation on the feeling of non-stop seeking and grasping toward things that exist on the outside – versus asking from the inside, how can my life become more meaningful.

I think a lot of people look outward for a source of success and fulfillment: in what others say, in what we have, in all the proof points of “I am enough.” And that is reinforced by the systems in place: social media, devices, content, entertainment…

This is an episode that invites you to consider: Maybe there’s nothing to fix, but the problem lies in our grasping and avoiding of discomfort. This episode also invites you to scan back on your life and look at what truer values are for your happiness – the things you don’t necessarily see reflected back to you on a phone. What are the moments that only you appreciate and how can you bring out more of them in your life? It starts with becoming aware of this habit loop in the first place.

The book I mention in this episode is here:

https://amzn.to/3IluA22

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo!

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Ep 174: Relationship Ambivalence: Stuck in fight loops + wanting change Jun 21, 2022

Show notes

For anyone who perhaps is negotiating standing up for yourself and also accommodating your relationship to make it peaceful and loving, and unsure of how to balance those two things. You might find that your fight loops are repeating and you are unhappy because of that. You both are likely seeking love and closeness but also wanting change. This is targeted at those in relationships that are well established. For example, when the novelty has worn off and any imbalances have had time to set in. You might be asking - do I want to be with this person or is this relationship hopeless? What do I want? What’s happening in my relationship? Is this at all fixable? We both used to be happy but now I am flipping between love and hate, pretty often. OR you might be asking– why can’t my partner see me? Why can’t they meet my needs when they are so small? What the hell happened… things were great and as soon as I brought up my needs, this turned into something so much worse. Am I crazy?

This is a topic that obviously has a lot of variables – but this will at least give you something to reflect on if this sounds like your situation. And every solution will be different and based on you and your partner – so don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right for you.

There are 3 parts to this episode– the what, why, and how–the tools, and we will hear from our sponsors right before the tools section. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

The book on love languages is this one:

https://amzn.to/3bdC7mW

And here is a love language quiz to take:

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, this is for you:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/

800-799-7233

Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service

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Ep 173: Owning Yourself - Being fully embodied and unapologetically yourself Jun 07, 2022

Show notes

What does it take to own yourself? To be fully confident in your voice and unapologetically yourself in all situations. I think it takes being deeply rooted in our skin. I feel like a lot of us are robbed of parts of ourselves throughout our life – whether that’s during adolescence when you’re trying to fit in, or as an adult in a relationship where you are not confident in your beliefs and the other person talks you out of your feelings. As we grow up and grow stronger – we may reclaim parts of ourselves. Our values shift, and we may gather the pieces of past broken selves and put them back together – as a true part of us. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this process. So this is an episode in service of that – being unapologetically yourself, fully embodied, and validated just by your own opinions.

As I mentioned if you are a person who is in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and you know you want to exit it, this is a resource to start with:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

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Ep 172: Reflecting on Your Relationship: When Things Require Some Work May 25, 2022

Show notes

This is an episode for anyone who is at the cusp of counseling or is negotiating a power struggle in their relationship. I think for a lot of people it can be hard to know if you are happy or if you want to stay, or if you are actually ready to leave a relationship. It’s one of those things that requires a lot of talk and reflection, and it gets even more complicated because of how interwoven it is with everything in your life as an individual.

Relationships are hard, and if you want them to work long-term they take a lot of maintenance, work and also introspection. A lot of the time keeping them healthy means voicing your issues and being strong enough to walk away if it requires that.

This is an episode that is mostly tools. I wrote it for anyone who is in a difficult relationship situation. Maybe you are thinking of getting counseling or you are currently in a power struggle. And it’s tailored to codependents and those of us who get stuck in the swallowing our needs, feeling if we just try hard enough EVENTUALLY we will get the love and respect we crave.

If you are in a dangerous relationship and need help to exit in a way that is safe for you head to this resource:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and to become a Patreon head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Ep 171: An Introduction to Dream Work May 10, 2022

Show notes

Dream work is much more personal and specific to you – it’s powerful and amazing. And once you unlock the meaning behind one dream, I think you will be hooked. Because it’s like a shortcut to the suppressed feelings that are too far away from your conscious mind to be readily accessed. You might find that you have different feelings on topics than you think you do. I have found new confidence and awakening through dreamwork. I have also found insights that make me appreciate myself more. I have also discovered what I really felt despite what was going on in my present consciousness. I invite you to work with some of the material in your dreams to see what it alights in you!

This episode will get weird. But I think there’s a lot of power in dream work. I do it often. You can of this as the laymen’s casual intro to dreamwork – if you are curious about it. This is based on my personal dream work – how I’ve learned to work with my own dreams. I used to think that dream work was total bullshit because if you google it and read most any casual postings on how to interpret your dreams, it does not translate.

This is a totally experimental episode – and if you hate hearing about other people’s dreams, then not an episode for you!

The big picture book on dream work that I spoke about is this:

https://amzn.to/38AT49m

The Jung books I recommended are here:

https://amzn.to/37StaxV

https://amzn.to/3EXguC4

https://amzn.to/3kqAVxX

https://amzn.to/3rY3FlY

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Ep 170: Inner Listening – Curating Private Psychic Space Apr 26, 2022

Show notes

This is an episode aimed at helping you tune in to what you think and feel and becoming aware of the external pressures that may be hindering your creativity. There are a lot of journal prompts for reflecting on what it is you want – truly, and also ways to resist the performative masks you might be wearing in your life. This is alsoa selfish episode aimed at making all of you out there a bit more silly, fun and in your skin. Because I think we need it. I think we need less looking perfect, less oversimplification, less judgement. More complexity, weirdness and openness. A lot of people in the world are lonely and feel isolated. I think that a lot of this comes from a feeling of being dehumanized by professional spheres, working remotely as well as living and communicating on the internet. I send you my love and if you want to check out more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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