Heavy Hands

Latest Episodes:

604 - When welterweight was good Jan 01, 2026

Show notes

When did welterweight become the new middleweight?

Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

603 - RIP ESPN Dec 18, 2025

Show notes

Rest in piss to the ephemeral sports programming network.

Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS:

00:00 Intro 13:05 Kape vs Royval 22:02 Vallejos vs Chikadze 31:06 Misc. 34:22 RIP ESPN 1:06:21 205 before Jones

602 - Petr Perfect Dec 11, 2025

Show notes

I hereby take back every criticism I have ever leveled at Petr Yan. He is God.

Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS:

00:00 Intro 00:46 Yan vs Dvalishvili 2 43:26 Pantoja vs Van (and what's next) 51:33 Talbott vs Cejudo 1:03 Moreno vs Taira

601 - Age of the Wrestler Dec 04, 2025

Show notes

Someday, scientists may recreate the wrestler, possibly using frog DNA. Until then, we have to appreciate the ones we have left.

Moreno-Taira and more from the UFC 323 undercard on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS:

00:00 Intro 5:48 Dvalishvili vs Yan 2 36:15 Pantoja vs Van 57:50 Cejudo vs Talbott

600 - Is Ian Garry Actually Good? Nov 27, 2025

Show notes

Arman Tsarukyan and Kyoji Horiguchi both reestablished themselves as top contenders. Ian Garry reestablished himself as the guy who sort of makes other middleweights look mediocre, sometimes.

Completely changing our tune on Bo Nickal--PLUS the return of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class--all on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS

00:00 Intro 5:19 Tsarukyan vs Hooker 23:06 Garry vs Muhammad 48:15 Horiguchi vs Ulanbekov 57:55 Orolbai vs Hermansson 1:05:45 Riley vs Grad

599 - Reign of Terror Nov 20, 2025

Show notes

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Valentina Shevchenko is the GOAT.

Completely changing our tune on Bo Nickal--PLUS the return of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class--all on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS

00:00 Intro 5:07 Makhachev vs Della Maddalena 28:22 Shevchenko vs Zhang 51:13 Tsarukyan vs Hooker

598 - Now or Never Nov 13, 2025

Show notes

Why has Islam Makhachev chosen this moment to go up to 170? Is he at the end of his prime? Or maybe it's just because Jack Della Maddalena SUCKS.

Praying for Bo Nickal's downfall in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS:

00:00 Intro 7:29 Della Maddalena vs Makhachev 54:33 Shevchenko vs Zhang 1:20:18 Edwards vs Prates

597 - UFC is Fake? Nov 06, 2025

Show notes

IT'S A SHAM, I TELL YOU. A SHAM.

Talking Volkov-Almeida and Murzakanov-Rakic in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 2:37 Steve Garcia vs David Onama 23:29 Isaac Dulgarian and fight fixing 50:13 Gabriel Bonfim vs Randy Brown

596 - All Eyes on Me Oct 30, 2025

Show notes

Sign our petition to have every heavyweight on the UFC roster summarily executed.

Talking Volkov-Almeida and Murzakanov-Rakic in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

CONTENTS:

00:00 Tom Aspinall vs Ciryl Gane 23:27 Mackenzie Dern vs Virna Jandiroba 44:37 Umar Nurmagomedov vs Mario Bautista

595 - Gane-orrhea Oct 23, 2025

Show notes

The heavyweight division has a disease. One man has the cure (we hope).

Our thoughts on Brendan Allen's triumph over Reinier de Ridder, plus some thoughts on the previous week's card that got lost in the shuffle in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

00:00 Intro 4:43 Tom Aspinall vs Ciryl Gane 31:27 Virna Jandiroba vs Mackenzie Dern 44:56 Umar Nurmagomedov vs Mario Bautista

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