Hairy Butthole

Latest Episodes:

I Smoked Weed One Time And It Ruined My Life Jul 15, 2022

This week I talk to Aaron Harris, (voice actor and comedian featured in Ice Age and the new YuGiOh series). Aaron had a harsh reaction to smoking weed as a teen which he describes as feeling like almost triggering psychosis. We also talk about parenting (even though Aaron doesn't have kids) and how weird some adults are who have kids. I also discuss missing my flight to Korea and 'keeping my cool' at the airport and how that reminded me of similar incidents that happened with my parents as a kid which ended up being traumatic.

Your Dad's A Narcissist, My Dad's A Narcissist, Everyone's Dad Is A Narcissist! Jul 08, 2022

This week I talk to Erin Hosier the host of Tell Me About Your Father Podcast and author of Don't Let Me Down, a book about her relationship with her narcissist father. We talk all about narcissism. We talk about how common this personality disorder is but how it's very misunderstood. We specifically touch on the experience of being the child of a narcissist and how it effects us both to this day. We also talk about the confusing nature of relationships to narcissists because as harmful as they are, they are also so charming and intoxicating to be around.

I Could've Been The First Lady Of Korea But My Boyfriend Died In A Fire Jul 01, 2022

This week I talk to my friend Cindy who is the owner of Azaelea's in NYC. She and I have been friends for a long time so I was totally shocked when she told me about a traumatic incident she endured in her early 20s involving the death of someone she was dating at the time. We talk about the nature of traumatic events, especially events that happened a long time ago in a different era of our lives. We talk about how we can be friends with people and know them intimately and not know they've been through some heavy shit. We talk about how as we get older we can clearly see the multiverse and the multiple different lives we could've lived but didn't. Also I talk about white guys who live in Korea and how some of them are really fucking shitty.

IDGAF I'm Getting An Abortion AND A Tattoo Jun 28, 2022

This week I talk about how I discovered that the abortion I had was illegal and why I had no idea until I discussed it on this podcast. I talk about how Korean people deal with an oppressive and conservative government and how the spirit of doing whatever they want behind "father's" back lives on in me. I also talk about being confused by people who are JUST NOW losing faith in the government as someone who has thought it was run by a bunch of greedy idiots my entire life. Thank you for your continued support!

Neve Campbell Isn't Coming To Save Me From My Assault Jun 17, 2022

CW: childhood assault, Bullying. This week I talk to Gus Constantellis (Comedian, Tiktok star) about how his obsession with celebrities and media from a certain time of his life relates to a trauma that he experienced during the same time. Gus discusses how during the pandemic his body had a severe reaction to an incident he experienced almost 20 years ago as a child. After processing the trauma he came to the realization of how that incident shaped his behavior to this day. We also laugh about how Greek moms are the same as Korean moms and how our shared experiences help build our friendship bond.

Yes He Tried To R-Word Me But Also He Does A Great Kermit The Frog Impression Jun 10, 2022

CW: Sexual Assault, Childhood Sexual Abuse. This week I talk to Lucie Pohl, the brilliant comedian behind Immigrant Jam Podcast. I talk about a really traumatizing experience I had as a teenager and Lucie talks about two incidents of her life where she experienced sexual assault and why her inital reaction was to blame herself. Also we laugh about the absurdity of sexual assault and discuss how it's scary to make jokes about our own trauma because men will weaponize our humor against us.

Guns Don't Kill People Cops Kill People May 27, 2022

CW: mass shootings. I'm back with another solo episode about my feelings about guns and cops. I'm stupid and I don't know anything so I kept it to my feelings. I touch on how if you grew up in an unfair/abusive household, this feeling of powerless and frustration is familiar as well as triggering.

I'm OK With My Mom Dying But I Draw The Line At Hilary Clinton Losing May 20, 2022

CW: death. This week I talk to John deBary about the death of his mother from brain cancer. John had no emotional reaction to her passing only to suffer a mental breakdown two years later after Hilary Clinton lost the presidential race in 2016. We talk about how we both tend to repress strong emotions and how it's conditioning from our childhoods. John also talks about his family history which he can trace back one thousand years. His last name is actually Bary Bary which also sounds like how my Korean mom would describe him: "John is Bary Bary white!"

My Abortion IS Funny IT'S FUNNY May 13, 2022

CW: Abortion, Statutory Rape, Abuse. This week I talk about my abortion in full detail by myself. It was weird recording on my own but then I ended up sharing stories I have NEVER told until this day. I talk about having sexual relationships with adults as a minor and why I think that happened and how it directly led to me having to have an abortion. I talk about this cop that stalked me when I was 16. Until we raise female-presenting children with the knowledge and power to advocate for themselves, aborton is an essential human right. Also I cry AND laugh by myself.

Now That's A REAL Woman (I'm Non-Binary) May 08, 2022

CW: Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Homophobia. This week I talk to Ryan Marie Burdge (who also goes by Hilary Burdge) about growing up neurodivergent and queer. Ryan Marie talks about being part of the first group of children to be diagnosed with ADHD in the 80s and the abuse they went through at the hands of the adults in their community. We discuss our friendship history and how we met working in the abusive environment of restaurants and how that work brought us closer together. We also touch on dressing femme and how at times it feels like drag to both of us and share a hilarious story about the time a man catcalled Ryan Marie shouting at them "Now that's a REAL woman!"

I Think I Killed My Sister Apr 29, 2022

CW: Negligent Abuse, Child Death. This week I speak to Anne Ishii Executive Director of The Asian Arts Initiative, the owner of the clothing brand MASSIVE and a manga translator. Anne discusses the shocking death of her younger sibling when she was 6 years old and the ways it shaped her life and personality. We both discuss sharing a history of negligent abuse and how victims of this specific type of abuse have an extremely difficult time even realizing they were abused. We also laugh at an inside joke we don't even bother explaining because we don't think anyone else will understand, much like our shared trauma. Thank you for your support! Hairy Butthole Live starts next month! 5/2022

I Can't Stop Thinking About My Baby Dying Apr 22, 2022

CW: Death and illness in children. This week I talk to Alex Pemoulie about her baby going through open-heart surgery (he is fine). Alex and I met when her first child and my son were babies and got along because we were utterly traumatized by motherhood. We had a short-lived feminist mom podcast (one of approximately one trillion feminist mom podcasts that 'keep it real') called Just Moms and in this episode we do a round-up of everything we discussed back then. We cover SO MUCH ground, including how Alex's fear of her children dying led her to obsessively reading every story about the death of babies, including the saddest story we've both ever read: the news story about the woman pushing the dead baby in the swing! Please check out patreon.com/hairybuttholepodcast for bonus content!

My Uncle Got Murdered And My Mom Never Noticed I Was Allergic To Milk Apr 15, 2022

CW: Violence, ED, Negligent Abuse. This week is part two of the conversation with Chansophalla Nop and Oak Laokwansathitaya. Chan talks about her family's traumatic history of living in wartime Cambodia and Oak discusses recently finding out he might suffer from narcoplepsy. Oak also talks about his discovery of being lactose intolerant after a childhood of having his symptoms ignored. We discuss how being the children of traumatized immigrants we felt the need to hide or minimize our pain, and the discovery as adults that that pain is not 'normal'. Apparently it's not supposed to hurt every time you eat food.

You're laughing? I'm getting SAed and you're laughing? Apr 08, 2022

CW: Childhood SA, A, Asian hate crimes, Violence. This week on Hairy butthole Chansophalla Nop and Oak Laokwansathitaya discuss childhood trauma and how the recent spike in Asian hate crimes encited trauma responses from both of them. They discuss how their response to violence and harrassment might seem confusing or inappropriate to people who have not had a background of abuse. Chan discusses a scar on her face she received as a child and recently discovering the traumatic backstory. Oak discusses the strained relationship he has with parents. Youngmi discusses how her son reacted to overhearing Chan's story and how it dawned on her that children should not know about these abuses. Lots of crying and laughter.

I'm A Coward. But I'm Going To Live. Apr 01, 2022

This week Lana Siebel joins Youngmi to discuss her life as a Ukranian Jewish refugee in America. She talks about Ukraine in a realistic way that feels authentic and different compared to recent discourse. Her family considered themselves "second class citizens" as Jews in their own homeland and thus their relationship to Ukraine is complicated. She also touches on having a narcisstic mother, how eating disorders were handled in her community, and shares a funny story about breaking her finger while running down the stairs to make sure the food delivery guy wouldn't have to wait too long! Are Ukranians and Koreans the same people? ?? Maybe??? Check out the patreon to hear our kids share their sad/funny stories!

Stupid Ass Bitch Who Doesn't Know Where TF She's Going Mar 25, 2022

This week I'm joined by the hilarious comedian Dylan Adler. Dylan talks about not being able to cry about the death of his grandma. Then I discuss being called a 'stupid ass btich who doesn't know where tf she's going' by a receptionist and then feeling the need to apologize to her. We then discuss the urge to apologize to people who treat us poorly and struggling to stand up for ourselves. Then Dylan shares some touching and hilarious stories of his grandma and FINALLY CRIES in the the last 5 mins!!!

I'm Going To Kill Myself Mar 18, 2022

This week on Hairy Butthole I talk to my long-time friend Helen Cho. Helen is a celebrated producer. After four years she finally breaks her silence on the death of her beloved friend Anthony Bourdain. We also talk about grieving the loss of Christina Yuna Lee as strangers, not feeling entitled to expressing grief, and feeling like our expressions of grief are inadequate or inappropriate constantly. Then we laugh about me wanting to kill myself.

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