Habits on Purpose

Latest Episodes:

185. Why Stress Hijacks Your Brain and How to Pivot in the Moment Aug 20, 2025

Show notes

Life is going sideways. You're snapping at your people, overthinking, doom scrolling, or eating all the snacks. You know things aren't going well, but it feels like you just can't stop, and you can't get out of the pattern. The momentum of these moments can feel impossible to interrupt, even when you're fully aware that what you're doing isn't working.

In this episode, I'm sharing the neuroscience behind why we get stuck in these reactive patterns and how our brain's survival mode takes over when we're stressed. Through a simple three-step process, you can interrupt the stress spiral and access more choice. The key isn't waiting for the perfect moment or overhauling everything; it's about creating what I call "one-degree shifts." Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/185

184. Befriending Anxiety: How To Stop Fighting and Start Listening Aug 13, 2025

Show notes

Does anxiety make you feel like there is something wrong with you? It can feel uncomfortable, overpowering, something to manage or medicate away. We've been taught to see it as a flaw, a weakness, something broken that needs fixing. But treating anxiety as an adversary might be exactly what's making it worse.

In this episode, I'm exploring a radically different approach to anxiety—one that sees it not as something wrong with you, but as a sophisticated signal system trying to help. I share how anxiety functions like a check engine light or cybersecurity system, alerting you to threats to your physical, emotional, relational, or financial well-being. Through practical examples and a simple outside-inside approach, you'll discover how to decode what your anxiety is actually signaling. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/184

183. The Power of Validation: The Unsung Hero of Habit Change Aug 06, 2025

Show notes

Do you feel like acknowledging your struggles will make them worse, or that it means you're weak or indulgent? Many of us have been taught to push through challenges, minimize what we're feeling, and judge ourselves for reacting in normal, human ways. But this mindset keeps us from fully understanding why we're struggling in the first place.

In this episode, I explore why validation is one of the most powerful tools for lasting change. Validation is simply the act of recognizing what's real, legitimate, and understandable about our experience. It's about acknowledging what is true in the moment without judgment. When we validate our emotions instead of dismissing them, we create the clarity, confidence, creativity, and inner strength needed to make meaningful shifts. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/183

182. Rethinking How to Feel Better Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever tried to "think your way" into feeling better, only to feel stuck in the same patterns? It's easy to fall into the belief that changing our thoughts will automatically change our emotions and habits. But what if the solution isn't about forcing yourself to think better thoughts? What if it's about understanding emotions in a deeper, more compassionate way?

In this episode, I revisit the ideas I first shared on an early episode of the podcast about how to feel better. While I once believed that changing our thoughts was the key to lasting change, I now realize it's only part of the equation. By shifting from trying to manage your feelings to understanding and relating to them, you can create the lasting changes you've been seeking. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/182

181. Why Change Feels Hard: Revisiting the Idea of Thinking New Thoughts Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever tried to change by simply thinking a new thought, only to feel frustrated when the change doesn't happen as easily as promised? The idea that if you just change your thoughts, you can change your life has been a cornerstone of personal development for years. But what if it's not the whole story?

In this episode, I'm revisiting a concept from an early episode, where I taught "thinking a new thought" as the key to change. While this cognitive behavioral approach helped many of my clients, I now realize how incomplete it is. Our experience is shaped by much more than our thoughts. It's influenced by our nervous system, memories, trauma, and even cultural systems. I'll explain why thought work is useful but not enough, and why real change involves understanding the deeper layers beneath our thoughts. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/181

180. Why You Minimize Your Successes and How to Shift It Jul 16, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever received a compliment or acknowledged a success, only to immediately deflect or downplay it? Or perhaps you've accomplished something meaningful but instead of feeling proud, you start to focus on what could have been better? This tendency to minimize our strengths and dismiss our progress can be so automatic that we don't even realize we're doing it.

In this episode, I explore why we minimize ourselves and how to relate to this habit differently. What I once saw as just a bad mental habit to fix, I now understand as a protective strategy—a part of us trying to keep us safe from vulnerability, judgment, or failure. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems, embodiment, and nervous system regulation, I'll show you how this tendency serves a purpose and how we can start to shift it. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/180

179. The Exhaustion of Anger without Resolution: What to Do When Nothing Changes Jul 09, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever been so angry about something, voiced your concerns, advocated for a solution, maybe even cried over it, only to have nothing change? The situation remains the same, the person doesn't budge, and your anger lingers, leaving you stuck. What now? In this episode, I explore the exhaustion that comes when we're angry about something that won't shift.

You'll discover why anger becomes exhausting when there's no external resolution, what emotions typically hide beneath it, and how to redefine resolution as an internal process rather than an external outcome. You'll also learn practical ways to work with your anger so you can continue advocating for what matters without being undone by what you can't control. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/179

178. Awareness Precedes Change: What I Wish I Knew Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever noticed a behavior or pattern that you know you should change, but you just can't seem to? Whether it's scrolling aimlessly on your phone or saying yes to commitments you don't want, that moment of recognition is where change begins. But what if that moment of awareness, even without immediate change, is more powerful than you think?

In this episode, I revisit one of the foundational concepts in behavior change: awareness precedes change. While this idea was introduced in an early episode, my understanding has evolved significantly. You'll learn practical ways to expand your awareness beyond just cognitive observation, including a simple practice you can use anytime. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/178

177. The Habit of Suppressing, Dismissing, and Fixing your Emotions: What to Do Instead Jun 25, 2025

Show notes

When your emotions feel overwhelming, pushing them away seems like the only option. That familiar tightness in your chest, the urge to fix everything immediately, the exhaustion that comes from constantly suppressing what you feel - these experiences shape how you move through each day.

Through this episode, you'll discover how to relate to your emotions as messengers carrying vital information rather than inconveniences to manage. You'll learn practical ways to shift from reflexively fixing or avoiding difficult feelings to approaching them with curiosity and compassion. By the end, you'll have concrete tools for turning toward your emotions instead of away from them, creating a richer understanding of yourself in the process.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/177

176. How to Handle Overwhelm When Things Take Longer Than Expected Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever had one of those days when things just take longer than you expected? Maybe a task that should have taken 30 minutes ends up consuming hours, and suddenly, you're behind on everything. It's easy to start feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or frustrated when your plans go sideways.

In this episode, I share a simple framework to help you navigate these moments without getting caught in a spiral of self-blame or urgency. You'll learn how to pause, check the context, and realign with what really matters, turning those pressure-filled moments into opportunities for clarity and creative problem-solving. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/176

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