Stay ConnectedA podcast for people who want to create a life that feels good.
Grow With Intention explores questions like:
✨ How can you get things done in a way that’s a custom fit for your brain?
✨ How can you react in a more helpful way to your thoughts and feelings?
✨ How can you create habits that you look forward to every day?
✨ How can you change patterns of behaviour in a self-compassionate way?
And ultimately:
✨ How can you create a life that feels good?
Copyright: © Michelle B
*Podcast Update*: In case you don't quite get to the end of this video... Last year, I realised I was spreading myself a bit too thin with YouTube, this podcast, the membership, the book and more... and nothing felt like it was getting the attention it deserved.I made a lot of tweaks trying to make it work (that you've witnessed me making!), but I've finally decided it's time to simplify more intentionally and fully focus on just one platform: YouTube. The good news is that I’m still here and uploading every other week! Just over on @muchelleb and on Spotify / wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for being with me on this journey. I appreciate you a bunch.Thanks for being on this journey with me. I appreciate you.💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 Parenting Advice00:34 Natural Consequences Explained02:11 Why It Doesn’t Work02:36 Mindful Awareness Fix04:03 Rewards Must Matter04:52 Self-Criticism Blocks Learning07:03 Podcast Update and Focus08:27 Rex and Mini Move08:44 Mindful Experiment Wrap-Up🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 The Self-Criticism Cycle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk
I mentioned these two videos:
🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA
🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk
💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*
→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup
⛳️ Red Flags of Self-Improvement
→ Encourages isolating yourself (e.g. go ghost for 6 months, cut off everyone, etc.)
→ Over-focuses on “having discipline” and “taking action”, while ignoring emotional regulation, difficult days, different brains, flexibility, and letting go of self-criticism
→ Creates an “us vs them” dynamic that breeds division or superiority (e.g. “people like us vs people like them”)
→ Pushes rigid formulas, steps, or “right ways” of doing things without encouraging self-reflection or a personalised approach
→ Turns relationships into hierarchies (e.g. “high-value vs low-value people”)
→ Encourages self-rejection instead of self-acceptance
→ Feeds your ego or makes you feel “better than” others (e.g. “when you start healing, you won’t relate to people anymore”)
→ Encourages shame-based growth rather than curiosity-led growth
→ Promotes constant optimisation without emphasising space for fun, rest, and relationships
→ Pushes “more, more, more” instead of focusing on what’s actually effective (which is often less)
→ Over-identifies you with your problems in an unhelpful way (leans heavily on labels instead of helping you understand and change what’s actually going on)
☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*
→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._
→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/
🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*
→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_
→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack
💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*
→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7
🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*
→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb
🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*
→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443
💭 *Video timeline ⇢*
00:00 Everyone is quitting self-improvement
00:33 The first self-improvement trap
02:08 The next trap
03:40 Trap #3
04:56 Self-improvement trap #4
06:50 SOooo... What then?!
07:20 Firstly, definitely stop doing this
08:22 And start doing this
08:54 Please! do this
09:19 How I can be a better creator
10:23 Creating responsibly
12:40 How I want to create going forward
🔗 Anything I mentioned ⇢
🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA
🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk
🔗 Tim Ferris Blog Post on The Self Help Trap: https://tim.blog/2026/03/04/the-self-help-trap/
💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack🎧 *Prefer long-form? ⇢*→ I drop weekly episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 Hospital Scheduling Crisis00:17 Leave One Room Free01:24 Scarcity to Relief01:46 Your Time Is Overbooked02:49 Plan for Zero Time Tasks03:14 Podcast Purpose and Slack03:30 Schedule Life Admin05:05 Leisure as Productivity06:44 Mini Move for the Week07:09 Rec of the week🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Scarcity: The New Science of Having Less and How It Defines Our Lives by Sendhil Mullainathan, Eldar Shafir: https://amzn.to/4snMpTa
Some technical difficulties led to this ep being up a little later than usual! I didn't sneak in a "recs of the week" to end this ep, but I have a buunch of recs listed below.
💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443 💭 Video timeline ⇢00:00 The Trap So Many Fall Into1:03 What is Self-Discrepancy Theory?02:16 Why we criticise ourselves.04:01 To change and grow, you need surprise.05:52 To experience surprise, you need two things07:02 How to use surprise to stop the cycle.07:49 A hypothetical that can break the cycle.10:55 Replacing criticism13:33 Another way to break the cycle 🔗 Recs of The Week⇢ Want to dive deeper into the topic of today's video? Here are a few resources that you might enjoy... 🔗 Firstly, this paper on negative emotions and procrastination is a really interesting read: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12588926/#:~:text=In%20summary%2C%20most%20of%20existing,positive%20correlation%20between%20the%20two.🔗 Jud Brewer actually wrote a great article on the link between guilt/procrastination loop that I saw after starting to put together this video - great minds - (focused more on the reward of procrastination and body based curiosity) - this article introduced me to the research paper above: https://drjud.com/procrastination/procrastination-guilt/ 🔗 Jud Brewer also wrote Unwinding Anxiety, which goes in-depth on the idea of "mental" habit loops - he talks specifically about anxiety, but I've found myself applying the concepts in this book to much more: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 One of the first people I saw talk about the procrastination/guilt cycle is Dr David Maloney, who wrote a great book called Procrastination Decoded that you might enjoy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 Michelle Segars book, The Joy Choice, talks about the rewarding experience of curiosity applied to health behaviours and exercise: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If you're particularly interested in the idea of "prediction errors" triggered by "symptom deprivation" this wonderful book by Bruce Ecker talks in-depth about the process within Coherence Therapy: https://amzn.to/4tkVa1e 🔗 If the idea of surprise being a key driver of learning is of interest to you, give "How We Learn" a read. I really enjoyed this book: https://amzn.to/4vb4jvh 🔗 This book on compassion dives into our brain's threat avoidance system and how it can sometimes create efficiency but leave us unhappier: https://amzn.to/3Q40VlD
💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack🎧 *Prefer Spotify? ⇢*→ I drop weekly episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 The Self Honesty Link00:38 Three Sneaky Scenarios02:41 The Squiggly Stuff04:43 Why We Avoid Reality05:16 Grieving Unmet Wants06:50 Optimism Versus Reality07:12 Stockdale Paradox Lesson10:23 Mini Move and Rec🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Jim Collins - Good to Great https://www.amazon.com.au/Good-Great-Some-Companies-Others/dp/0066620996
💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7→ The Upgrade Your Life Playlist _(for simple ways to upgrade your life)_ :https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVp_dlOxoROdW4WB0_eiFRAT→ Design your life for 2026 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnE2AbGax3k&list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXtwK9kxMPJxw3FLzvRiyd🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 It's not new years anymore bb0:18 Reset your relationship2:06 Bring on the revelationss
2:41 Your elephant and your rider
4:15 Your secret projects that are overtaking your vision board
5:27 The warm up
7:04 The slippery slope effect
8:43 Move to V2🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Switch by Chip and Dan Heath: https://www.amazon.com.au/Switch-Chip-Heath/dp/0385528752🔗 Dave* Ramsey Snowball Debt: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/debt/how-the-debt-snowball-method-works
💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*
→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup
☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*
→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._
→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/
🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*
→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_
→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack
💭 *Video timeline ⇢*
00:00 Self Collaboration Intro
00:14 Resistance Scenarios
01:02 Why It’s Not Laziness
01:49 Resistance As Connection
03:56 Stop Judging Resistance
04:53 Yes But Method
05:54 Real Life Examples
07:23 When It Gets Deeper
07:55 Alternative Prompts
08:41 Mini Move And Wrap Up
🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*
🔗 Past podcast episode: The ONE Thing to Do To Make Your Goals 10x More Likely to Happen: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7dlpu6U4nQYaewuaJuOeCk?si=0f8a85f4b7d0452e
Something I've talked about on my podcast is that a few years ago, I would have described myself as someone who had a pixie brain, that I did a lot to manage! Since then, I've received an ADHD diagnosis. While I don't love a label on a personal level (which is why you don't hear about it too often unless you're really into my content!), I also completely recognise that... I have HUGE portion of my audience with ADHD that find value in the ideas that I share. I also think these ideas are helpful for people who don't have ADHD but sometimes need a little guidance in the productivity / getting things done / feeling good arena, so don't think that you won't benefit if that's you! Please enjoy - appreciate you. 💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*→ The Time Management Playlist _(when you want to expand your time)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVrxrOSvViA1PcZVh3hhD6cs→ The Upgrade Your Life Playlist _(for simple ways to upgrade your life)_ :https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVp_dlOxoROdW4WB0_eiFRAT🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb🎧 *I drop weekly content on Spotify: ⇢*→ Grow With Inteniton Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 Intro0:40 Values vs Habits2:53 Theories5:50 Remove what you dislike6:20 Revenge vs control🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 Roger Martin: https://rogerlmartin.com/archive/medium-posts/-in-thought-pillars,strategy
💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack💭 *Video timeline ⇢*00:00 Be Meaner Not Nicer00:31 People Pleasing Pendulum01:29 Not Manipulation Or Martyrdom03:10 Casual Boundary Setting05:07 Mindful Noticing Practice07:30 Find Your Feared Reality10:15 Membership And Weekly Challenge11:17 Wrap Up And Next Steps🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*🔗 My podcast episode on prediction errors, limiting beliefs and learning by experiencing surprise: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7B9TElYLEoy99I3p9Ra1lh?si=56d38247022541b8
💿 *Get my free newsletter with simple ideas to make life easier ⇢*
→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup
☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*
→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._
→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/
🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*
→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_
→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack
💭 *Video timeline ⇢*
00:00 Limiting Beliefs 101: What They Really Are (Not Woo-Woo)
00:49 How Your Brain Learns ‘Safety’ Lessons (Dog Park Example)
01:36 Why ‘I’m Not Good Enough’ Isn’t the Whole Story
03:00 Feared Realities: The Hidden Engine Behind Your Patterns
03:45 Why Old-School ‘List the Belief, Disprove It’ Didn’t Work for Me
04:33 Find Your Limiting Beliefs: Patterns + ‘Symptom Deprivation’ Exercise
05:41 You Can’t Logic Your Way - You Have to Feel It
06:51 Rewiring Through Prediction Error (Deep Awareness Explained)
07:27 Real-Life Examples: Loud Laughs, Meetings, and Surprise Updates
10:48 Mini Moves: Spot Patterns, Name the Fear, Collect Disconfirming Moments
12:02 Rec of the Week + Resources (People-Pleasing Ep & Memory Reconsolidation)
13:08 Wrap-Up
🔗 *Anything I mentioned ⇢*
🔗 People Pleasing Ep: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1tNnu6xR2vgtM7PxueNm6V?si=4AsOyw56RNGaR75DAKi7PQ
🔗 Unlocking the Emotional Brain by Bruce Ecker - https://amzn.to/4aziq3O
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