Show notes
No one picked me to become a professional mountain biker or to start a podcast. No one picked me to become a speaker where I've been on stages for entrepreneurs, tech gurus, and other athletes. No one picked me to write for dozens of publications over the years.
Seth Godin, an author, marketer, speaker, and businessman said, "No one is going to pick you. Pick yourself."
I recently was listening to the NoMeatAthlete Radio where founder, author, and ultrarunner Matt Frazier was talking about making the NYT Bestsellers list with his co-authored new book: The Plant-Based Athlete. He talked about wanting the outcome of making the list, but already feeling successful before making the list because of the strong impact the book had on the world and to help serve his purpose. You can still want the desired outcome, but at the same time, you can also find joy and fulfillment without "making a list" or getting the validation from someone else that you are good or impactful. He also talked about starting his blog and the "pick yourself" mentality he learned from Seth Godin who mentored him.
I've been trying to describe those exact words for years, but could never find an eloquent way to say it.
Pick yourself.
If Matt didn't decide to start writing, the thousands (and maybe even hundreds of thousands) of lives would never have been positively affected.
To do the thing- the thing you are dreaming of, you often just have to start. Imposter syndrome makes us think things like, "who am I to write an article, who am I to try to finish a marathon, who am I to become a World Champion?" It takes courage to believe in yourself and believe in your dreams because if you're focused on outcomes, you could come up short. Let's go down that path. What if you DO come up short? What if you never make the NYT list? What if you never stand on a podium? Does that mean that all the work you've done was worthless? Most people would say no. It's the person and identity you become on the way there. The challenges and big dreams are the most important, regardless if someone else or society "picks you" to say you are great. The challenges and big dreams are a big part of what gives life substance and meaning. That's why we like to push ourselves and we feel proud of what we did.
But let me tell you a secret. I've always wanted to be picked. It's part of being human to want to belong and want people to like you. Growing up, I was never one of the cool kids. I desperately wanted the popular kids to like me and invite me to hang out with them. I wasn't even one of the "cool kids" in the band. Instead of picking me to be a cool kid, the cool kids picked ON me constantly. No matter what my level of success (I graduated 3rd in my large graduating class, was one of the top tennis players in my school, and was the top flute player in the band from grade 10 on), I still didn't feel confident. I still wanted nothing more than someone to pick me.
It wasn't until I decided to train for a marathon when I was 17 that I finally started to care less about fitting in with others. This was a different goal that I set- one that wasn't what someone else expected of me. I didn't know anyone who had ever run a marathon. Running taught me to become my own best friend. Going to the gym every day and getting a job also got me out of the limited bubble of the kids at school. I started to like myself and as a result, others started to like me more too. When I chose myself- to do things for me and not because someone else in my family did it or I thought it's what I needed to do to "be cool," things started changing. The "cool kids" at school became more interested in me. But I wasn't interested in them anymore because I didn't need them.
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.
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