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Goop Yourself — Comedy
Goop Yourself

Bryan Rucker & Aggie Hewitt love and hate Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand Goop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Latest Episodes:

Kalefornication Aug 12, 2022

Show notes

We go over every menu item on the new Goop Superfina menu and discuss the Daily Harvest food poisoning fiasco. Plus, Gen Z food trends, finding the perfect denim shorts, Gwyneth's home spa and (alleged) excessive water use, the decriminalization of psychedelics, urban clam bakes, Susan Powter's Twitter account and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Opium Gardens and Bug Oils (TEASER) Aug 05, 2022

Show notes

Gwyneth travels to Boston as we all wait breathlessly for the launch of Goop Superfina. Agnes is over the Whole 30 hump, while poor Melissa Urban wrecks her elbow and shills for bug oil manufacturers Zero Acre Farms. Bryan makes a delicious two-ingredient pizza and gets swindled by DoorDash live on air. We also talk mass shootings, new TV, Lockheed Martin, adult sleepovers, self-tanners, microdosing, macrodosing, the space-time continuum, and paleo popsicles!

For the whole drug addled episode (and dozens more), go to patreon.com/goopyourself and give us $5. You won't regret it.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twice As Hard And Twice As Good Jul 29, 2022

Show notes

Gwyneth goes of a full on media blitz for the launch of GOOPGLOW Dark Spot Exfoliating Sleep Milk, hitting up both the zoomers (Hailey Bieber) and the boomers (The Today Show) to peddle her wares. She immediately makes things awkward, joking that she f*cked Hailey's dad in a bathroom 32 years ago, stepping into an unnecessary defense of nepotism, and visiting the Ground Zero of Smoresburn-gate, the SAG Harbor Goop Lab. We also talk dairy-free cooking alternatives, the true cost of grain-free granola, wooden bath mats, J** G*****'s disturbing thirst trap, Selma Blair's triumph (and possible future at GOOP), the most pathetic rewards referral program and more!

For more uncensored, not ready for prime time content, head over to patreon.com/goopyourself.

If you live in the LA area and want to try out Goop Kitchen, go to order.goopkitchen.com/sign-up and use code BryyRuc2449 or AggieHe2545 for $5 off your first order.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Powder Rooms and Ports of Call (TEASER) Jul 22, 2022

Show notes

We talk Whole30, TikTok's Pink Sauce fiasco, Bryan and Agnes's embarrassing political pasts, Gwyneth's Montecito home furnishings, Goop At Sea's itinerary and special guests, Thrive Market and Whole Foods buys, homemade grain-free granola, free hotel shampoo hauls, $12 GOOPGLOW microderm exfoliator dupes and more!

For the full ep (and dozens more), go to patreon.com/goopyourself

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Little Fires Right Here (TEASER) Jul 21, 2022

Show notes

We patiently wait for Agnes's COVID results as we discuss her trip to our nation's capital, Bryan's Polanski-esque ant problem, more details about the Goop Store s'mores explosion, seed oil sensitivity postcards, in home herb gardens, G*nt*r's Fl**v*gs sponsorship, anniversary presents, Italian luxury serving platters, expensive bath towels and more!

Please excuse Bryan's audio. Apparently he was talking right into his laptop instead of his mic. Unbelievable, what a tool!

To hear the full ep, shell out $5 over at patreon.com/goopyourself

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Firestarter Jul 08, 2022

Show notes

We present a few theories about the mysterious candle explosion that left two men burned in Goop's Sag Harbor store last week. Bryan recovers from COVID and releases his blood work results. J*n G*nt*r gets into yet another fight, this time on TikTok. Elise makes a new alliance with one of GP's competitors in the wellness space and then promptly gets thrown off a horse. Plus, summer recipes, expensive water filters, chronotypes, exercise balls in the post-Lauren Roxburgh era and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More Softness In My Life (UNLOCKED) Jun 24, 2022

Show notes

Bryan's still recovering from his Daily Harvest poisoning driving to Lake Tahoe, so we're unlocking last week's Patreon ep for the hoi polloi. Enjoy and happy summer! xo

Agnes's big celebrity sighting, Gwyneth's "interview" with the original Brad, Goop Kitchen's summer menu, Goop at Sea's itinerary, a mineral vs. chemical timeloop, Juneteenth miso Bloody Marys, does Nerd Alert cure long COVID? and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More Softness In My Life (TEASER) Jun 17, 2022

Show notes

Agnes's big celebrity sighting, Gwyneth's "interview" with the original Brad, Goop Kitchen's summer menu, Goop at Sea's itinerary, a mineral vs. chemical timeloop, Juneteenth miso Bloody Marys, does Nerd Alert cure long COVID? and more!

To hear the rest, become a Goopaholic over at patreon.com/goopyourself.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Seed Oil Secrets Revealed Jun 10, 2022

Show notes

Gerda, in a landmark "Supported By Science" ruling, comes down in favor of seed oils. Goop, possibly plagued by dwindling revenue, announces Morning Routine value packs and an MLM-adjacent referral program. Gwyneth pens an article for The Wirecutter while Dr. J** G***** has another Twitter meltdown. Plus, Goop Kitchen's summer menu tease, self-diagnosed autism, The Staircase finale, LA election results, Whole Foods vs. Trader Joe's and more!

We forgot to mention you in the ep, but thank you so much to listeners Andrea and Bridget for joining our Patreon! For more goopy content, go to patreon.com/goopyourself and sign up.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My Pooshy's On Fire, Now Kiss The Flame (TEASER) Jun 03, 2022

Show notes

Gwyneth's Kardashian candle collab, mashed cauliflower dreams, cop neighbors running for city council, digital KonMari, hummus on avocado toast, discontinued Tata Harper products, 4 1/2 inch cookie jars, Austin travel guides and more!

For the full pooshilada, go to patreon.com/goopyourself and become a Goopaholic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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