Goop Yourself

The Preacher's Husband Mar 29, 2024

Spring horoscopes, Goop sneakers, a life-changing bread, hydrating water-cream, Andrew Huberman, endoscopies and more! Plus, in this week’s Bon Appetit Receipt, a young pastor from Alabama whose husband has a terrible secret!

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Give Me One Moment In Space Mar 15, 2024

Gwyneth launches her open eyed meditation app, Agnes has flight fright, and Bryan self-soothes with bland hippie food. Plus, how to break free from the stress cycle, cashew cream, turning tragedy into a skincare line, and $699 sauna blankets!

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Cotty Chee Mar 01, 2024

This week we discuss Gwyneth's ongoing relationship with Saudi Arabia as reported by the New York Post, follow up on last week's mystery Receipt-er, dive into all the Kate Middleton conspiracy theories, and have a difficult but necessary conversation about food influencer M*lly B*z. Plus, Goop's big WWD award, the environmental and nutritional benefits of different types of milk, fancy shower heads, Emily Mariko's Green Chef deal, ageless locket designers and more!

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Seven Oranges Feb 17, 2024

Gwyneth spills her secrets to British Vogue, the New York Times investigates dark circles, Goop spends one (busy) day on the Upper West Side, and Dr. G*nt*r goes to bat for High Fructose Corn Syrup. Plus, Madame Web, sheet pan popcorn, the "classic shop" big lie, drugstore moisturizer and more!

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Ovo-Lacto Folx Jan 27, 2024

Gwyneth jets to Paris to watch the Armani couture show, Forbes calls all Americans nepo babies, Marianne flops in New Hampshire, a jet-setting TV producer writes The Receipt, and Goop releases its Valentine's gift guide. Plus, erotic temporal awareness, corn starch thickened mac and cheese, Oscar nom thoughts, Gwyneth's book recs and more!

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Put A Katsu On It Jan 13, 2024

Gwyneth shares her Ins and Outs for 2024 at Brad's big Netflix premiere, Bryan and Agnes both read some questionable nutritional texts over the New Year, and we recap a double dose of Bon Appetit's The Receipt, starring an Asheville NPR reporter and a Washington D.C. pharmaceutical rep. We also discuss both of Goop's 2024 detoxes, a new multi-pronged hair routine, shower sex advice and more!

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Nasty Infections and Incontinence Dec 15, 2023

The Daily Mail issues a dire warning about a certain Goop item, Variety reports that GP was paid over $1 million to go to Saudi Arabia, Ali Pew leaves the nest, and Goop Kitchen starts selling pumpkin spice bread in December. In the newsletters we get another perspective on the complicated blood diamond debate, a recap of Goop's sophisticated holiday party, Gwyneth's current favorite beauty product and more!

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Cyclic Sighing & Zucchini Latkes Dec 01, 2023

We discuss the relative merits of Dunkin coffee, mushroom matcha, and Metamucil before digging deep into the latest newsletters. This week: a vintage Caitlin tragedy, a five step sigh, a bountiful In Goop Health gift basket, a trip to Provence and more!

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Rotisserie Hell Nov 10, 2023

We discuss a Philly food scientist with parental boundary issues, The Cut's exhaustive (and exhausting?) Erewhon article and Gwyneth's controversial pic with Poosh CEO's little sister Kim Kardashian before diving into the newsletters. This week, Goop Rotisserie struggles to make a case for its existence, Jean does a roundup of all the new beauty treatments at the dermatologist, sex still hurts and more!

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Palm Beach Princess Oct 28, 2023

We review a couple of good.clean.goop products and digest The Receipt before Gwyneth takes us on a tour of her Floridian villa. Plus, a sneak preview of the holiday gift guides, Goop Rotisserie's new spice rub, combatting mood swings by breathing and shaking, sweet potato breakfast flashbacks and more!

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Goopceañera Oct 15, 2023

We celebrate Goop's big 15 with limited edition beauty products, Gwyneth's Vogue 73 Questions interview, a AMA Goop pod with a call from our favorite ex-Food Director, Dr. Gross's lip vibrator, a $2500 vase and more!

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Bagels & Body Doubles Sep 29, 2023

In person "In Goop Health" is back for the low low price of $1200, Gwyneth pens an ode to her own products, Bryan is diagnosed with "bulbous teeth", and Agnes suspects she has a touch of the long COVID. Plus, apology scripts, Gwyneth's taps another friend for political glory, Jean's New Mexico spa recommendation, Bon Appetit goes to Brown, the Shallow Hal body double spills tea, Dr. J*n tumbles off the Twitter wagon and more!

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Addicted To Drama Aug 18, 2023

We recap the penultimate And Just Like That ep, Agnes packs up for NYC, and Bryan mourns losing Gwyneth's Airbnb contest. We also take an online goop drama quiz, discuss GP's misplaced nostalgia for recipes from 2017, and say enough with the detoxes. Plus, Goop shampoo, beard trimmers, pilates videos and more!

We'll be taking the next couple of weeks off. See you soon!!

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Loneliness Is a Human Condition Aug 04, 2023

Gwyneth goes full Willy Wonka, allowing the unwashed masses to spend a night in her Montecito guesthouse. (Just don't try to drink from the GoopGlow river.) Jean spreads some speculative but promising misinformation on the toxicity of chemical sunscreen, G-Label comes out with an awful drop waist shift dress, Megan goes surfing with octopuses, and we touch base on a pair of vintage Caitlin summer recipes (RIP.) Plus, the perils of self-talk, a field scientist flirts with salmonella in The Receipt, and a springtime episode of And Just Like That.

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From The Vault: Trial of the Century (3/24/23) Jul 21, 2023

Agnes and Bryan are both on vacation this week, so we're unlocking a vintage Patreon ep from a simpler time, March 2023.

Enjoy!

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Soul Fitness (TEASER) Jul 14, 2023

Bryan gets sent to Siberia at a classic LA restaurant while Agnes argues that her favorite neighborhood bistro is destined to become a new LA classic. We discuss an extra goopy Bon App receipt and recap the increasingly deranged season of And Just Like That. Plus, Jennifer Freed ages gracefully, washable (thank God) sex pillows, summer cocktails, Ralph's sunscreen, Megan's mosquito wipes and more!

For the full ep, go here

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Drinking Water With A Spoon Jul 07, 2023

Gwyneth posts a pic from Umbria and the sunscreen vigilantes are not having it, Bryan gets some good blood work news, and Agnes powers through 5-2 intermittent fasting and tries to gate keep Vidiots. Plus moon rituals, beach reads, chayote squash, $2700 face zappers, jerk paste and more!

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Carcinogenic Coke (TEASER) Jun 30, 2023

Gwyneth jets off to Milan with Moses while the girls at Goop HQ struggle to compile a list of vegan ice creams. They publish the morning routine of a (potentially deceased) British lord/celebrity facialist. Agnes explains the cottage cheese mukbang videos going around, and Bryan recommends a new brand of hummus. Plus And Just Like That, Madonna, The Other Two, meditation youtube videos, the WHO's crackdown on aspartame and more!

For the full ep go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Inspiration for the Evening Jun 23, 2023

Gwyneth themed drag nights, Graza Olive Oil's big endorsement, Bryan's traditional summer solstice recipe, hormones causing blindness, Cameron's 25 ingredient salad recipe, wine country weekends, Father's Day tragedies (both submarine and rotisserie chicken related) and more!

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Fridge of Wine and Salad (TEASER) Jun 16, 2023

Gwyneth gets back into restaurants, Cameron Diaz attempts to crunch up Goop Kitchen's summer menu, we talk about mushroom farmers' diets and tantric breathing exercises, and Goop launches their very first shampoo and conditioner. Plus, listen to Bryan take his first ever leukemia pill live on air!

(to hear the full ep, you know where to go)

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Suck and Massage Jun 09, 2023

Bryan has a health scare, Agnes prepares for a big move, and the Goop girls are giving us nothing! There's yet another Nashville vacation guide and more bad retinol advice, but at least Gwyneth is (allegedly) off paleo. Plus, Gutes Guterman, a $200 Father's Day fleshlight, Jean's favorite slippers, saffron chicken thighs, the curse of perfectionism, G*nter's return to Winnipeg (bitch) and more!

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It's Pablo-Matic (TEASER) Jun 03, 2023

We discuss America's sweethearts, Hannah Gadsby and Leslie Van Houten, and explain why only one of them deserves to spend life in prison. Plus, Montauk, Jackson Hole, By Dria, summer horoscopes, Keith Haring, $150 alarm clocks, protein smoothies and more!

To hear all our hot takes, go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Iffirmations May 26, 2023

Apple comes home from college, the Horses chefs are more diabolical than we thought, and we offer our thoughts on Barbie, Taylor, Tàr (so current!) and the Bosnian war (even currenter!) Plus, J*n wages a one woman war on cottage cheese, affirmations in the form of a question, GP's "so bad it's good" chicken, Wishbone marinades, prostate stimulators for Father's day, foam rollers post-LoRox and more!

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Founder's Girl (TEASER) May 19, 2023

GP isn't just a girl's girl, she's a "founder's girl," and we get some investment advice for the Montecito set. We also talk Montecito's other favorite couple as they go on a high speed chase in the big apple. Goop finally creates some new food content with the help of three of LA's favorite Italian chefs. Plus, Horses drama, the delusion of "self-awareness," Bryan's tart cherry habit and more!

For the full ep, go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Prenuvo For All May 12, 2023

Gwyneth talks to a longevity doctor, Brad's love note goes viral, and Goop discovers texting. Plus, sour cherry juice, veggie sandwiches, J*n's trip to Italy, a flight attendant's diet, AI songwriting and more!

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Call Her Mama (TEASER) May 05, 2023

Apple drags Mom on her favorite pod, Call Her Daddy, and Bryan has an extended senior moment, legitimately thinking the host's name is "Alice Cooper" and saying it multiple times to his endless humiliation and embarrassment. We also talk about a certain world traveling gynecologist who is incapable of being embarrassed, the Glucose Goddess, apartment pools, froyo masturbators, vintage goop recipes, designer B vitamins and more!

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A Study In Celery Apr 28, 2023

We discuss a very important article from a big magazine discussing a certain extremely litigious pharmaceutical psychic who may or may not have been a bad bad boy. We also talk Erewhon addiction, resort living, G. Label's big fashion award, blast from the past Goop powders and more!

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Paxlovid and Codeine (TEASER) Apr 21, 2023

Agnes and Bryan come to you from their respective sickbeds to discuss Lauren Oyler's Harper's cover story on Goop At Sea, a Kansas City social media star's Bon Appetit food diary, and speculation on the Faltrow's marriage. Plus, the danger of prenups, edible flowers, white washing borscht, new sunscreens, GP's interview with Scarlett Johansson and more!

Click here to hear the full ep!

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A Very Real Engagement Apr 16, 2023

We discuss HR friendship speak, quiet luxury, and San Francisco slander before getting into the Goop News. G*nter gets "married" to her very real fiancé, but is there trouble brewing in Montecito? Plus, a New Orleans travel guide, a friendship workbook, a narcissist warning, an eye cream party, and more!

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Utah Hangover (TEASER) Apr 07, 2023

We explore the highs and lows of recent Gwyneth thinkpieces, ponder the new GoopSex instagram account, continue to mourn Gerda and Caitlin, and question Goop Kitchen's spring menu. Plus, one of Bryan's fav keto accounts goes viral, birthday cake flavored water, inter LA neighborhood rivalries and more!

For the full ep, join our very exclusive Patreon at patreon.com/goopyourself

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I Wish You Well Mar 31, 2023

Iconic fits, incompetent lawyers, classic catchphrases: the trial had everything, including justice (and a dollar) for Brentwood's finest. What were the best, worst and craziest moments we witnessed this past week? Listen to find out! Plus, concierge doctors, spitting on Caitlin's grave, an Instagram poetess takes the Goop pod reigns from Erica and more.

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Trial of the Century (TEASER) Mar 24, 2023

We recap the first week of Gwyneth's ski accident trial, discuss the ongoing fallout from the W*ll C*le interview, and share our thoughts on Bon Appetit's viral saltine video. Plus, hipaa violations, stool samples, Yelp reviews, fetal alcohol syndrome, afternoon tea, Birkenstocks, paleo influencers and more!

This one is juicy ;) To hear the whole thing, throw $5 to us over on patreon.com/goopyourself

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A Cry For Help? Mar 17, 2023

We go over Gwyneth's viral interview with "Dr." W*ll C*le, recap all the unhinged responses and try to make sense of what is really happening. We also read Politico's hatchet job on our future president, discuss our own recent health issues, and more!

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A Sociopathic Economic System (TEASER) Mar 10, 2023

Marianne formally announces, Gerda bids adieu, Bryan lives out his Hollywood dreams, and Goop Kitchen launches an app. Plus, sober cocktail parties, sex cards for dating and more!

For the full ep, go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Pluto Rising Mar 03, 2023

We discuss The Cut's Ozempic article, an adjunct professor in Austin going into debt buying vegan cheese, Gwyneth's new VC fund and Pisces fetish, a spring astrology forecast, a $500 makeup brush, the tinned fish craze, Caitlin's devastating Linkedin, a heated bean debate and more!

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Shameflammation (TEASER) Feb 24, 2023

W*ll C*le writes another book, Marianne decides to run, Noora literally fleas in Paris, and Jean figuratively flees to the desert. Plus, temperature play, harissa meatballs, a Tracy Anderson exposé in the Daily Mail and more!

For the full ep, go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Live From Santa Monica... Feb 17, 2023

Bryan reviews the Elefor massage gun, Agnes rewatches The West Wing, and we discuss a Goopworthy bean soup recipe in the problematic Paper of Record. In the newsletter, Ali goes on a Swiss ski vacation, the editors (minus Caitlin, RIP) concoct an olive oil celebration, Gwyneth speaks with a dating app mogul, and Katharine McPhee's stepdaughters attempt sketch comedy at Goop HQ.

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Death By Chocolate Feb 10, 2023

We talk Daniels' in the Criterion Closet, 80 For Brady, the new warnings about dark chocolate, and the four star Le Bernardin New York Times review before diving into the newsletters. This week Goop publishes a list of far flung romantic getaways and debunks the ear piercing migraine cure. Plus, Vintner's Daughter releases a cleanser, Seamus talks keto like it's 2016, Erica interviews a VICE food news show host, a pastry chef pivots to sex stones and more!

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The Food Stamp Gourmand (TEASER) Feb 04, 2023

We discuss the death of Gawker 2.0, parse a Chicago-based indie film controversy, and read the latest "The Receipt" from Bon Appetit, where a college student living in poverty is buying a suspicious amount of Fly by Jing Chile Crisp. Over on Goop, Gwyneth is cleaning out her storage closet, the gals are recycling old comfort food recipes, friends are going to therapy, and weightlifters are (allegedly) creaming their pants.

This episode was deemed "too hot to handle" and so has ended up on Patreon. We promise to record an extra free episode this month to restore balance in the Goopiverse.

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Chanel Girl (TEASER) Jan 27, 2023

Apple makes her big debut (doing nothing), Scarlett debuts a truly redundant skin care line, Andrea gets her morally questionable Oscar nom, and Gwyneth publishes a new cookbook. Plus, dementia prevention, Peruvian roast chicken, Shoppy Shops and more!

For the full ep, become a goopaholic at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Brand of the Year Jan 20, 2023

We celebrate Goop's victory in the coveted WWD Brand of the Year race and watch people freak out in the comments after GP posts some perfectly harmless, absolutely non-disordered January detox vids. We also discuss some elaborate lunch options, meet Goop's non-Freed astrologer, and vow to finally try the $98 Sleep Milk. Plus: Steven Crowder, Andrea Riseborough, jollof rice and more!

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Swimming With Sharks (TEASER) Jan 13, 2023

Gwyneth escapes the floods in Montecito, interviewing fellow Santa Barbara refugee Katy Perry and appearing on Shark Tank and James Corden. Goop debuts "The Goop Pursuit," a five part audiobook series, and some rather pricey "Lift + Depuff" eye masks. We also talk decluttering, phone addiction, $275 sweatshirts, the gas stove controversy and more!

To hear the full ep (and so much more bonus content) go to patreon.com/goopyourself.

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Resolution Not Revolution Jan 06, 2023

We're back with reviews of the annual Goop Detox, new Goop Kitchen items, GP's talk with Kim K., Jennifer Freed's predictions for 2023, cutting toxic cords of attachment and more!

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Someone's In The Kitchen With Gwyneth (TEASER) Dec 16, 2022

Gwyneth gets hit by an NFT lawsuit, discusses her past as a lowly line cook at the River Café, and (possibly) goes to Paris yet again. Could Goop Champs-Elysées be next? We also discuss our differing reactions to The Whale and figure out our holiday plans. Plus, simple French cakes, expensive bicycles, classic codependency, modern dating advice, Goop Kitchen's top 5 airport dishes, upcycled pasta sauce, ski chalet looks and more!

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Boston Weak Dec 09, 2022

We talk Goop's big WWD award, Buzzfeed's dissection of GP's reactionary politics, former Gwyneth profiler Taffy Brodesser-Akner's new TV show, how the NYTimes strike affected Bryan's cooking routine, Agnes's trip to a Sherman Oaks psychic, anger management meditations, holiday hors d'oeuvres, the meaning of "clean", Goop's favorite 2022 books, Gwyneth's half-hearted paean to Beantown, white Zimbabweans, domestic caviar and more!

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Thanksgiving Feasts and Dopamine Fasts (TEASER) Dec 02, 2022

We recap our favorite Thanksgiving dishes, discuss the new Sight and Sound movie poll and question the ethics of Gawker's potential Apple Martin college doxxing before diving into the newsletters. Plus, cyber Monday sales, dopamine fasting, protein smoothies, leftover waffles, Sicilian panettones and more!

To hear the full ep, allez à patreon.com/goopyourself, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles

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Girls On Film Nov 19, 2022

GP (and Cameron D) return in front of the camera for Goop's annual Christmas commercial. Agnes and Bryan discuss their problematic recent media diets (Chappelle's Show, David Sedaris, a late period Woody Allen double feature) and prepare for their various Thanksgiving endeavors. Plus, breathwork books and Dutch ovens on sale, a Parade Magazine paleo pumpkin pie, Goop Kitchen's lackluster holiday sides, the death of Rick Caruso's political career and more!

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Grand Ole Goopry (TEASER) Nov 11, 2022

GP goes on a "girls trip" to Nashville, Dr. J*n mourns the end of Twitter and Gerda demystifies nightshades. Plus, Gwyneth's talk show sales strategy, a cutting board pop-up in Brentwood, the pesto of the 2010s, Rick Caruso's (fingers crossed) political demise and more!

For the full ep (and much more Goop Yourself content) head on down to patreon.com/goopyourself

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My Hands Are Small I Know Nov 04, 2022

GP takes a quick trip to Paris before dropping the early awaited 2022 Goop Gift Guide, but is there trouble in paradise? The trusted and prestigious investigative journal Radar Online thinks so. We break down the guides, picking our favorite gifts for lovers, children, travelers, cooks, hosts and ourselves. Plus, further damning evidence in the Case of the Counterfeit Adjacent, new hope for SIBO sufferers, goopy Instant Pot meals, a Liquid Death think piece and more!

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Election Interference (TEASER) Oct 28, 2022

We discuss GP's continued support of Rick Caruso and other conservative, pro-business candidates in the upcoming election. We also talk Tàr, the Goop Gift Guide preview, smokable herbs, the state of protein bars and more!

For the full ep, provide $5 of socialist mutual aid to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Onboarded At The Lanby Oct 21, 2022

We discuss the fascinating Jorts the Cat Instacart ableism Twitter debate, Bryan goes over his bountiful Goop haul and reviews the famous 5 STAR NYTimes chicken and mushroom recipe, and we relive a few of our bad Patreon reviews before diving into the newsletters. This week we meet Bizarro J*n G*nter, a curly-haired MD who appreciates integrative medicine and believes in wellness, discover NEEM, a possible dupe of a popular Goop-approved wellness brand, and find out what is actually on Jean's nightstand. Plus, vegan cupcakes, tennis vs. pickleball, Gwyneth's favorite paleo influencers and more!

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Let Her Eat Cake (TEASER) Oct 14, 2022

We do a deep dive into Bon Appetit's food diary of a chronically ill aspiring cookbook writer, discuss Gwyneth's latest Thursday newsletter recs, drool over Goop's insane hotel picks, confess to some past and future impulse buys, recap the week in G*nter rants and more!

To hear the full ep, become a subscriber at patreon.com/goopyourself

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The Blue Hankie Means Spirulina Oct 07, 2022

The Daily Mail recaps Goop At Sea, Gwyneth takes control of the Thursday newsletter, Jennifer Freed breaks down the elements, and Caitlin (surprise!) does nothing. We also talk edging for everybody, La Pigalle's best croissant and more!

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Moom Yourself (TEASER) Sep 30, 2022

The nation celebrates one blonde cinematic icon while tearing down another. Agnes and Bryan posit what it would be like covering Marilyn Monroe's lifestyle newsletter back in the day. We go G*nter H*ntin' to get to the bottom of the truly baffling and elusive "Adjacent." Plus, looking back at the two original Goop recipes, Goop Kitchen's new fall menu, aging into GoopGenes, natural anti-inflammatories, Gwyneth and Brad's podcast convo and more!

To hear the full enchilada (and dozens more exclusive eps) , give us $5. patreon.com/goopyourself

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She's 50! Sep 23, 2022

It's a week of milestones as Gwyneth kicks and stretches her way to a half-century on Earth, and Agnes and Bryan return to the scene of many painful memories, Trader Joe's. We discuss a truly wild photo (quickly removed from Instagram) of a naked woman with a rocket ship shooting out of her vagina, apple and grain guides, Meghan Markle's favorite makeup, Erica Chidi's Maldives vacation, Jennifer Freed's new book, weighted jump ropes and more!

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Like The Sun Slipping Beyond The Horizon (TEASER) Sep 16, 2022

Melissa Urban lunches with Elise in Brentwood before cavorting with GP at Will Cole's book party. What does it all mean? The Financial Times publishes a longform Goop profile that asks the important questions. Bryan tackles Caitlin's Turkey Pot Pie and fights with Agnes about food storage. We also discuss reiki orgasms, protein packed meals, bargain body wash, Sweetgreen dupes, grain-free stuffing, the politics of handshaking, helping children process their emotions, and our upcoming trip to the depths of Hell (Trader Joe's.)

To hear the full episode, drop us some dough at patreon.com/goopyourself

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The Upward Spiral Sep 09, 2022

Goop gets slammed for its alleged anti-MSG bias, Dr. J*n celebrates being an empty nester with a tagine, Caitlin goes on yet another vacation without giving us a new recipe, and Agnes reverses her stance on eye cream. We also discuss Peruvian vacations, turkey shepherd's pie, our disparate grocery shopping strategies, Jessica Seinfeld's comedian husband, $500 "joy sessions", liver detox, rain-scented candles and more!

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Goop Superflopa (TEASER) Sep 02, 2022

We review Goop Kitchen's new (healthy???) pizza and pasta concept, discuss the ongoing saga of reluctant body positivity influencer Blogilates, and dissect Gwyneth's paen to turning 50. Plus, Bryan's tennis obsession, Apple's Amagansett rager, Caitlin's veggie burger recipes, lunar sexual energy, at-home laser treatments and more!

To hear the full ep, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

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An Absolute Disaster! Aug 26, 2022

WhiteSugarRebel, Lena Wilson, Bobby Parrish, Assistant Leilani, Jennifer Freed and Dawson Church PhD. These are the sick souls taking up valuable mental space in Agnes and Bryan's mind this week. We give you the full rundown as Gwyneth camps out in the Hamptons teaching Moses how to drive. Plus, facial cleanser, tapping therapy, support languages, a Goop Kitchen brownie hack and more!

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Shark Week w/ Brian Thompson (TEASER) Aug 19, 2022

We welcome Dr. Agnes Adjacent himself (Brian Thompson) on the pod to talk about his Whole 30 journey. We also discuss deranged Youtube channel FlavCity, Gwyneth's big Shark Tank announcement, affordable clean drugstore beauty, a new Ayurveda book, paella parties, chef Kim Floresca's top 5 reasons she loves her own restaurant and more!

To listen to the whole Pepperoni Potts you gotta ante up at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Kalefornication Aug 12, 2022

We go over every menu item on the new Goop Superfina menu and discuss the Daily Harvest food poisoning fiasco. Plus, Gen Z food trends, finding the perfect denim shorts, Gwyneth's home spa and (alleged) excessive water use, the decriminalization of psychedelics, urban clam bakes, Susan Powter's Twitter account and more!

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Opium Gardens and Bug Oils (TEASER) Aug 05, 2022

Gwyneth travels to Boston as we all wait breathlessly for the launch of Goop Superfina. Agnes is over the Whole 30 hump, while poor Melissa Urban wrecks her elbow and shills for bug oil manufacturers Zero Acre Farms. Bryan makes a delicious two-ingredient pizza and gets swindled by DoorDash live on air. We also talk mass shootings, new TV, Lockheed Martin, adult sleepovers, self-tanners, microdosing, macrodosing, the space-time continuum, and paleo popsicles!

For the whole drug addled episode (and dozens more), go to patreon.com/goopyourself and give us $5. You won't regret it.

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Twice As Hard And Twice As Good Jul 29, 2022

Gwyneth goes of a full on media blitz for the launch of GOOPGLOW Dark Spot Exfoliating Sleep Milk, hitting up both the zoomers (Hailey Bieber) and the boomers (The Today Show) to peddle her wares. She immediately makes things awkward, joking that she f*cked Hailey's dad in a bathroom 32 years ago, stepping into an unnecessary defense of nepotism, and visiting the Ground Zero of Smoresburn-gate, the SAG Harbor Goop Lab. We also talk dairy-free cooking alternatives, the true cost of grain-free granola, wooden bath mats, J** G*****'s disturbing thirst trap, Selma Blair's triumph (and possible future at GOOP), the most pathetic rewards referral program and more!

For more uncensored, not ready for prime time content, head over to patreon.com/goopyourself.

If you live in the LA area and want to try out Goop Kitchen, go to order.goopkitchen.com/sign-up and use code BryyRuc2449 or AggieHe2545 for $5 off your first order.

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Powder Rooms and Ports of Call (TEASER) Jul 22, 2022

We talk Whole30, TikTok's Pink Sauce fiasco, Bryan and Agnes's embarrassing political pasts, Gwyneth's Montecito home furnishings, Goop At Sea's itinerary and special guests, Thrive Market and Whole Foods buys, homemade grain-free granola, free hotel shampoo hauls, $12 GOOPGLOW microderm exfoliator dupes and more!

For the full ep (and dozens more), go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Little Fires Right Here (TEASER) Jul 21, 2022

We patiently wait for Agnes's COVID results as we discuss her trip to our nation's capital, Bryan's Polanski-esque ant problem, more details about the Goop Store s'mores explosion, seed oil sensitivity postcards, in home herb gardens, G*nt*r's Fl**v*gs sponsorship, anniversary presents, Italian luxury serving platters, expensive bath towels and more!

Please excuse Bryan's audio. Apparently he was talking right into his laptop instead of his mic. Unbelievable, what a tool!

To hear the full ep, shell out $5 over at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Firestarter Jul 08, 2022

We present a few theories about the mysterious candle explosion that left two men burned in Goop's Sag Harbor store last week. Bryan recovers from COVID and releases his blood work results. J*n G*nt*r gets into yet another fight, this time on TikTok. Elise makes a new alliance with one of GP's competitors in the wellness space and then promptly gets thrown off a horse. Plus, summer recipes, expensive water filters, chronotypes, exercise balls in the post-Lauren Roxburgh era and more!

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More Softness In My Life (UNLOCKED) Jun 24, 2022

Bryan's still recovering from his Daily Harvest poisoning driving to Lake Tahoe, so we're unlocking last week's Patreon ep for the hoi polloi. Enjoy and happy summer! xo

Agnes's big celebrity sighting, Gwyneth's "interview" with the original Brad, Goop Kitchen's summer menu, Goop at Sea's itinerary, a mineral vs. chemical timeloop, Juneteenth miso Bloody Marys, does Nerd Alert cure long COVID? and more!

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More Softness In My Life (TEASER) Jun 17, 2022

Agnes's big celebrity sighting, Gwyneth's "interview" with the original Brad, Goop Kitchen's summer menu, Goop at Sea's itinerary, a mineral vs. chemical timeloop, Juneteenth miso Bloody Marys, does Nerd Alert cure long COVID? and more!

To hear the rest, become a Goopaholic over at patreon.com/goopyourself.

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Seed Oil Secrets Revealed Jun 10, 2022

Gerda, in a landmark "Supported By Science" ruling, comes down in favor of seed oils. Goop, possibly plagued by dwindling revenue, announces Morning Routine value packs and an MLM-adjacent referral program. Gwyneth pens an article for The Wirecutter while Dr. J** G***** has another Twitter meltdown. Plus, Goop Kitchen's summer menu tease, self-diagnosed autism, The Staircase finale, LA election results, Whole Foods vs. Trader Joe's and more!

We forgot to mention you in the ep, but thank you so much to listeners Andrea and Bridget for joining our Patreon! For more goopy content, go to patreon.com/goopyourself and sign up.

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My Pooshy's On Fire, Now Kiss The Flame (TEASER) Jun 03, 2022

Gwyneth's Kardashian candle collab, mashed cauliflower dreams, cop neighbors running for city council, digital KonMari, hummus on avocado toast, discontinued Tata Harper products, 4 1/2 inch cookie jars, Austin travel guides and more!

For the full pooshilada, go to patreon.com/goopyourself and become a Goopaholic.

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A Ring For Daddy May 27, 2022

NOTE: We switched up our podcast host so you might need to delete and re-subscribe to Goop Yourself in order to get the new ep! Thank you for your patience!!

We talk Goop's wildly inappropriate Father's Day gift guide, Agnes's COVID-addled CNN addiction, Bryan's magnesium glycinate evangelism, Goop Kitchen's vendetta against us, Cameron's canned wine, a $2250 flannel shirt, Goop's disappointing summer sale, refreshing salad ideas and more!

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Phony Negroni (TEASER) May 20, 2022

We talk Prolon weight loss, sober partying, quitting Trader Joe's cold turkey, Apple's sweet 18th, homemade baby formula recipes, Tinx's soft cancellation, music festival memories, Silverlake's goop approved non-alcoholic liquor store, Erewhon free samples, summer wedding looks, jewelry store sponsored walking tours, The Polo Bar vs. The Polo Lounge, anti-Palestinian dairy companies, golden lattés jumping the shark, adult screen-time, Bryan's schizophrenic magnesium guru and more!

For the full ep and so much more, join our Patreon!

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Words to Whiz By May 13, 2022

In the aftermath of Diapér-gate we discuss why GP's sophisticated satire goes over normies' heads. Agnes recounts her Prolon week, and Bryan suffers the wrath of G*nter reply-gals after Dr. J*n threatens to dox someone for calling her a libtard. We also talk blood sugar's relationship to anxiety, clean summer scents, BA alum Rick Martinez's regional Mexican cookbook, the NFT collapse and more!

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Workin’ 11-3 (TEASER) May 07, 2022

Influencer morning routines, bean deep dives, wedding gift guides, conditioner queries, homogenic vacation spots — plus Bryan and Agnes's Met Gala and True Crime TV roundups.

For the full ep, go to https://www.patreon.com/goopyourself

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Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Apr 29, 2022

We discuss Dr. J*n G*nt*r's latest Twitter freakout, review the offerings from Goop Rotisserie and slonk some Carnivore influencer lunches. Plus, medical gaslighting, Mother's Day Brunch ideas, Melissa Hartwig Urban's self-help pivot, skin slugging and more!

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This & That Forever (TEASER) Apr 22, 2022

Gwyneth takes out her quill and ink to pen an all new This & That featuring grain-free granola, cauliflower pasta, TV recs and boring business books. Bryan catches up on WeCrashed, Agnes orders real, honest-to-goodness Prolon, and G*nter goes after the parasite cleanse crazies. Plus, Goop's new multi-vitamin, another voyage on the SS Goop Cruise, Gerda's health scare, Caitlin teaches us about knives, Caponata-touille and more!

To hear the full ep, go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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A Slave to Chocolate Apr 15, 2022

We discuss Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Rebecca Paltrow in WeCrashed, J*n G*nter's pro-child slavery shocker, productive food journals, Esther Perel's new board game, natural deodorants, Goop's spring recipe roundup and more!

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Zero Acre Psyop (TEASER) Apr 08, 2022

Bryan delves deep into the fight rupturing the anti-seed oil community, Agnes perfects her Fauxlon regimen, we review Goop's arroz con pollo and J*n G*nter's "better than Keller's" lentils, talk about the Mother's Day Guide and more!

To listen to the whole seed-oil free enchilada, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Histamine Disrespect Apr 01, 2022

Bryan ponders the correlation between seed oil disrespect and right wing politics, Agnes still can't stop thinking about the Oscars, Dr. J*n asks twitter if she can pull off K-Stew's shorts, and Dr. W*ll C*le invents a new thing to worry about: histamine intolerance. Plus, Kate Hudson makes smoothies, Vintner's Daughter goes large, stiff joints get shocked, smoothie cleanses take over social media and more!

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The Wrath of Elise (TEASER) Mar 25, 2022

Controversial former Goop COO Elise Loehnen goes nuclear on Instagram, spring fashion archetypes, personalized Goop shopping lists, NorCal scented body wash, protein-style turkey burgers and more!

To listen to the whole episode, pony up a little cash on Patreon. xoxo

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Gwyneth’s Terrible Politics Mar 18, 2022

Gwyneth hosts a fundraiser for Rick Caruso, the pro-business, pro-cop, anti-choice mall magnate who's running for mayor of LA. We also discuss the launch of Goop Rotisserie, a scammy skin quiz, long COVID treatments, fireplace candles, viral salads and more!

For 40% off your first Thrive Market order, click here

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Unexpected Thrive Market Unboxing (TEASER) Mar 11, 2022

During the recording Bryan gets a special delivery from Thrive Market, so we do a little unboxing. We also talk the seven types of rest, Erewhon's viral smoothie, Goop's new Moonjuice killer toner, a metabolism boosting reminder and more! To get 40% off your first Thrive Market order, click this link! And to hear the full episode (and dozens more) click this other link!

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Oily Skin Privilege Mar 04, 2022

Babies turned weed impresarios, foods for brain fog, Goop Kitchen's two new concepts, GP's convo with Billy Porter, affordable clay masks, Goop's silence on seed oils, tuning forks, menstrual cramps and more!

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Belscampo (TEASER) Feb 26, 2022

Goopy Long Covid cures, seed oil questions, the underreported Belcampo Meat scandal, Jungian dream analysis, olive oil shots and more!

For the full ep (and 54 other exclusive episodes), go to patreon.com/goopyourself

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Bakuchiols & Rutabegas Feb 18, 2022

GOOPGENES ends retinol, Alison Roman redefines the rutabega, Bryan and Agnes warn against seed oils: plus UV opiates, Christmas insomnia cures, oat foam, the turmeric paradox (inflammatory or anti-inflammatory), bone-in chicken thighs, Tracy Anderson's big jug of broccoli soup and more!

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SGOOPerbowl Sunday (TEASER) Feb 11, 2022

Gwyneth shills for UberEats, Bryan lowers his cholesterol, Agnes succumbs to detox fever — plus ethical tourism, shearling Birkenstocks, Valentine's pizza dough and more!

To hear the full episode (and every single one of our bonus eps), join our PATREON

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Ideating For A Future Self Feb 04, 2022

Gwyneth opens the doors of her Montecito manse to the pages of Architectural Digest and nabs a collaboration with the good people of Monogram. We also talk Che in LA, the grated egg TikTok trend, Valentine's shipping woes, the temptations of Prolon, counterfeit conceptual sculptures and $62,000 indoor hammocks.

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Monkey in a Blonde Wig (TEASER) Jan 28, 2022

We talk Gwyneth's NFTs, Omicron facts, Will Cole's liver, Jimmy Fallon's Hollywood cabal, shampoo pump replacements, detox fried chicken, V Day gift guides, And Just Like That and more!

To hear the full episode, join our Patreon, which is way cheaper than ProLon.

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Charity Candles Jan 21, 2022

We talk about the launch of GOOPGLOW Cloudberry Exfoliating Jelly Cleanser, the Keep Your Hands Off My Vagina candle, 30 second detoxes, DKNY leisure ware, Gerda's immunity soups, Goop's continuing shipping woes, non-dairy milk makers and more!

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Goop Kitchen Winter Menu (TEASER) Jan 16, 2022

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

We're reviewing all the new offerings off the Goop Kitchen winter menu!

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A Little Detox Jan 14, 2022

The Goop Detox is here and we're not doing it, but we're talking about it anyway. Plus, Andrea Long Chu's disembowelment of Hana Yanagihara, Gerda's views on IF, smoothie city and more!

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The Detox Waitlist Jan 07, 2022

Goop came out with its annual detox but nobody can get it. Goop Kitchen released its winter menu. Amanda Chantal Bacon gets roasted by Business Insider. Alison Roman joins CNN. Plus, Jennifer Freed's 2022 astrological predictions, Jean's new bath oil, And Just Like That vs. Emily in Paris and more!

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Perineum Dream Dec 17, 2021

We talk GP's Crypto flop, And Just Like That ep 3, Alison Roman's New Yorker profile, the return of Elise (to our nightmares), sex toys for penis havers, Megan's Ridgewood rec, a new scalp detox, Agnes' manifestation journey and more!

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God Rest Ye Merry Vagina Candles Dec 10, 2021

Gwyneth makes a comedy video, Goop launches hand creme, G*nter takes a bath, Gerda bakes with rye — plus, discounted face oil, shampoo waiting lists and more!

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Winter Chicken and Spring Roll Salads Dec 04, 2021

Agnes moves to the Valley, Bryan finally gets into turmeric, and Goop is coasting on the fumes of their underwhelming gift guide. We talk cashmere shorts, Glennon Doyle, $1500 hotel rooms, Jessica Seinfeld, cookbook plagiarism, chicken (with mushrooms and/or dumplings) and more!

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Ghost Ship Nov 19, 2021

We discuss the failure of Goop At Sea, The New Yorker's review of Sex, Love, and Goop and GP's Kimmel appearance. Plus vegetarian holiday recipes, Jean's $82 body wash, Sia's $2000 jacket, Megan's lentil soup, aspirational loungewear and more!

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It‘s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Goopmas Nov 05, 2021

Gwyneth poses in Gucci while we review the brand new 2021 Annual Goop Gift Guide. Plus, a directory of sexologists, vintage cakes, boyfriend breakfasts, marble body brushes, bunny butt plugs and more!

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White Women Named Darshana Oct 29, 2021

Well, ONE OF US watched all six unsufferable hours of Sex, Love, and Goop. We discuss the couples, the therapists, and every mode and method of sexology burned into our corneas. Plus fall fashion, clean cookware, savory whipped cream, auto-astrology, kale teethers and more!

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Goop Kitchen Fall Menu (TEASER) Oct 25, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Bryan and Aggie drive to Santa Monica and review Goop Kitchen's new fall menu items, including the Fall Salmon Bowl, Miso Salmon Bento Box, and It's All Easy DIY Tacos.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I‘ll Be Your Mirror Oct 22, 2021

Netflix goes Goop, Gwyneth goes to sleep, and Goddess Amina gets naked — plus kinky toys, bath salts, sneakers, cookbooks, carrot cake and more!

Stay tuned for next week's episode when we'll give our full review of Sex, Love and Goop.

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Gadget Girls Oct 15, 2021

Aggie and Bryan review the HungryRoot delivery service and GP responds to the scathing Business Insider profile — plus lube pods, rock chick routines, fall recipes, Kegel panties, Porsche sponsored astrology, biological aging tests, Malibu trails, saffron shakes and more!

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F*ck With F*nugreek Oct 08, 2021

Goop releases the trailer for their dirty Netflix show and Gwyneth launches pills to make you horny — plus fall archetypes, October beauty obsessions, Housewife crime, carrot soup, aloe vera and more!

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Exec Exodus Oct 01, 2021

We discuss the Business Insider Goop exposé, Dr. G*nter's call to the Daily Mail, the Goop Cruise lineup, buying spices, post-pregnancy bodies, family baths, Supergoop (no relation), Infrared blankets, terrible instagram stories, sad seed bread and more!

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The Morgellons Pod (TEASER) Sep 27, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan dive into a disease so crazy and controversial that even goop won't touch it with a ten foot pole. Is the epidemic of Morgellons a symptom of an uncaring, incurious medical establishment or a collective internet engineered psychosis? We watched the documentary Skin Deep: The Battle Over Morgellons, now streaming on Amazon Prime.

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It‘s Miso Salmon Season! Sep 24, 2021

Goop debuts a new hair serum, Gwyneth appears in North Carolina, Goop Kitchen launches its fall menu — plus weeknight pantry meals, In Goop Health's Porsche sponsorship, Linda Evangelista's CoolSculpt nightmare, bread makers, tinned fish and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Losing The Thread Sep 17, 2021

Gwyneth and Brad's Montecito "eco-mansion" is nearing completion, Elise is back with a new pod, Gerda does double duty — plus energy recipes, American Horror Story, back pain, raw spinach, foam rollers, medical grade bath salts and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gaucho Faltrow Sep 10, 2021

Gwyneth shows off her pups, the NYC Goop Lab reopens, passive aggressive sympathy gifts, child friendly vacations to Balmoral, chickpea-tempeh pizza, flared jeans, new candles, shiny hair and more!

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The Dream of the 90s Sep 04, 2021

We talk GP fashion flashbacks, sad snacks, "ethical" Capitalism, sleep wars, Tik Tok discharge, a microbiome superpowder review, TJ Maxx, veg sandos and more!

FYI the audio is funky today. Sorry, we tried to smooth it out as best as possible. Namaste.

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We All Scream Aug 27, 2021

Bryan reviews Goop's Metabolism Boosting Superpowder, Aggie prepares for wine country, Gwyneth's childhood home goes on the market, plus homemade ice cream, travel essentials, digestive enzymes, air pollution and more!

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Look, Touch, Smell Aug 20, 2021

A guide to ripe fruit, supplement propaganda, a book on gaslighting and misogyny, blood sugar tips, vulva mirrors, cheap cruises, LoRo's lockdown Down Under and more!

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Out of Office Aug 13, 2021

Bryan and Aggie return from their glamorous summer vacations and are shocked at how much the world has changed. We discuss Metabolism Super Powders, Goop White Claw, a summer sale come and gone, Goop Kitchen dressings and sauces, Gwyneth the Brontë superfan, 7-Keto DHEA and more!

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Goop Kitchen UNLOCKED Aug 07, 2021

Due to our jetsetting lifestyles we were unable to record a new episode this week. Here's an unlocked episode from our Patreon where Aggie and Bryan review GP's ghost kitchen restaurant concept in Santa Monica. We'll be back with brand new episodes next week!

To unlock all our bonus eps, subscribe at https://www.patreon.com/goopyourself

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We Need To Talk About Kevin Jul 16, 2021

GP renovation sagas, Aggie's 5 day (and counting) juice cleanse, Bryan's new stonk tip, DEET-free bug spray, grilling sauces, Pelvic Organ Prolapse, $300 Victorian parasols and more!

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A Deep Thrumming, Radiating Sensation Jul 09, 2021

A couple's guide to vibrators, a cook's guide to hiking, summer scents, Gwyneth interviews Venus, Seamus's return, Omega 3s and more!

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Lost in the Alt-Chips Aisle Jul 02, 2021

Gwyneth holes up in Montecito as her SF store closes, Aggie raises the barre, next steps in Bryan's cholesterol battle - plus beach cooler packing tips, an alt-chip guide, the slow death of "eating clean," Emsculpt Neo zaps away the fat and more!

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A Montecito Shower Jun 28, 2021

Gwyneth gets wet, Goop pisses off San Francisco, Tata Harper's perfect face, body positive yoga, fungal probiotics, Cayucos vs Cambria, the mystery of Bitclout, RMS expansion, beach blankets, cucumber cocktails and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nutrilite's Daughter Jun 18, 2021

Bryan's bus obsession, Aggie's sunscreen routine, Chrissy Teigan's banana bread, Apple's Letterboxd, Gerda's family feud, Jean & Megan's new BFFs, Goop's Head of Private Client Experience, antidepressant tinctures, greens recipes, Goop Kitchen's summer menu and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Erewhon Secret Santa (TEASER) Jun 16, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan attempt to buy lunch for each other at Erewhon for less than $20. Can they do it? What did they buy? How did it taste?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Starving, Your Honor! Jun 11, 2021

We talk toilet training, hormone imbalances, olive oil, addiction tips, Prolon 2.0, watermelon (or is it mango) margaritas, LED masks and more. Forgive us for the inconsistent audio quality - we forgot how to record in person!

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Weeknight Warriors Jun 04, 2021

Summer swimsuits, pegan t-shirts, weeknight recipes, new shampoos, TikTok exclusives, bagels, donuts and more!

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Megababes and Cuckoo Birds May 28, 2021

A London Goop boutique post-mortem, a revealing profile of Vintner's Daughter, sugar-free milk, Alicia Keys joins In Goop Health, Megababe for boys, Black Girls Breathing, infrared workouts and more!

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Junkie Science May 21, 2021

Exploding candle lawsuits, Dr. J*n's Oura ring sponsorship, drug legalization, holotropic breathwork, 10 boring recipes, and more!

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Totally Off The Rails May 14, 2021

Gwyneth eats bread, Apple has a birthday, Gerda drinks beer, Caitlin buys hummus - plus how to curb anxiety, California's next vacation destination, beaucoup French-girl style and more!

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Jefferson In Paris (TEASER) May 13, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan look back upon one of GP's first movie roles, as Thomas Jefferson's daughter Patsy in the problematic Merchant-Ivory flop Jefferson In Paris, also starring Nick Nolte, Thandiwe Newton, and Greta Scaachi.

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Go Nuts For Ohnuts May 07, 2021

The Goop Cruise sails again! Why is InStyle slamming Gwyneth? Are skinny jeans dead? Is Goop pivoting away from recipes? How many plastic donuts prevent penetration? Plus, reviews of Honeybee vegan burgers, G-Tox Cleanser, and Vintner's Daughter.

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Plant-Based Burgers and Postbiotics Apr 23, 2021

We talk stock tips & crypto, new mom Megan, LauRo flees the country, GoopWeed, Honeybee vegan burgers, the postbiotic scam, cheek lip tint, "clean" wine, sheet pan chicken, Naomi Watts' new business and more!

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Legalize Everything Apr 16, 2021

We discuss Gwyneth's appearance on the Today show, cult food items, gay bachelors, drug legalization, cast iron enamel, inappropriate Mother's Day gifts and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apple Martin Graduates Apr 09, 2021

Bryan continues his sugar detox, Aggie zaps her face and Apple makes her Goop debut. Plus the NYC mayoral race, Goopglow Glow Lotion, spring archetypes, Jenna Lyons, vibrators, sun hats and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Goop Kitchen (TEASER) Apr 04, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan review the long awaited restaurant concept from GP and the gals, Goop Kitchen.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let The Sunshine In Apr 02, 2021

We discuss Gwyneth's sunscreen fiasco and Bryan's Sweetkick journey, plus a case for laziness, a Seedlip pivot, Montecito madness and more!

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Wet Ass S.O.U.P. Mar 26, 2021

Bryan reviews "Int*itive F*sting", Orlando Bloom has a very normal morning and GP goes on the Kelly Clarkson Show. Plus, a $400 soup cleanse, closets full of diffusers, Caitlin's vinegar guide, Megan's new bath oil, 60 is the new 12 and more!

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Alicia Keys's Doula Mar 19, 2021

The exploding vagina candle story that won't end, ranking GP's exes, Aggie puts on her Fitbit, the importance of eye cream, spontaneous remission, Goop Kitchen's overqualified chef, Oura Ring madness, microgreens and more!

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Kitchen Confidential Mar 12, 2021

Gwyneth saves the restaurant industry with the opening of Goop Kitchen, a new delivery/takeout spot in Santa Monica. Bryan and Aggie go through the menu to figure out which salad they'll be driving 20 miles to taste next week. Plus Mark Hyman wants you to go "Pegan", price upon request bread, Jean's new face cream, Goop beefcake and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Dreamed A Dream Mar 05, 2021

Goop revamps its website and creates a hub for "thoroughly researched health information" with the launch of Goop PhD. We also talk sleep solutions, dream journals, digestive aids, postbiotics, Pilates monsters, manufactured lip balm shortages and more!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trader Joe's Haul Part 2 (TEASER) Feb 28, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan recap all the hits and misses of their latest trip to Trader Joe's.

For more info on how to support TJ's workers' fight to unionize, follow @TraderJoesUnion on Twitter.

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The Enemy of My Enemy Feb 27, 2021

This week we talk sheet pan jambalaya, sugar resets, winter book recs, perfect makeup shades, Dr. J*n vs. "Dr" W*ll and more!

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Patient Zero Feb 20, 2021

Post COVID Gwyneth's ketotarian regime, two sided vibrators, Reply All drama, relief packages, $1000 jeans, camo Birks, FODMAP elimination diets, bone broth add ins and more!

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I Want The Best For You Feb 12, 2021

We talk constructive feedback, monochromatic dressing, candle rituals, turkey meatballs, Soho restaurant chic, GP's #FreeBritney activism and more!

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The Opposite of Chicken Feb 05, 2021

We talk fake meat, social networking, viral food videos, Blythe's birthday, Valentine's Day gifts, Dr. Jen's war against Vagisil, Emily In Paris's Golden Globes noms, screentime mania and more! Plus, reviews of Chipotle's new cauliflower rice bowls and Miyoko's chive double cream cashew cheese.

To get Bryan's recipe for Urumqi Tofu and Cauliflower Rice, subscribe to his FREE newsletter at ruckerbry.substack.com

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Caviar Is A Superfood Jan 30, 2021

This week we discuss dueling Alzheimer's remedies, minimalist parenting, financial planning, bran muffins in bulk, Megan's country home, closet refreshes and more!

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Trader Joe's Haul (TEASER) Jan 25, 2021

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan dissect the highs and lows, the strange and surreal, the delicious and disgusting of everybody's favorite pirate themed grocery store.

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The Curious Case of the Exploding Vagina Candle Jan 23, 2021

A British woman allegedly almost burns her house down after lighting a Goop candle and we're not sure we believe her story. We also talk Intuitive Fasting, Twilight, 3 step detoxes that are really 10 step detoxes, snow staycations, herbal teas, mental health apps and more!

If you want to sign up for Bryan's new FREE weekly newsletter, go to ruckerbry.substack.com. It could be the next Goop!

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Dim Sum and Dildos Jan 16, 2021

Gwyneth eats dumplings al fresco, Elise recouperates, and a certain thirsty gynecologist joins TikTok. We also discuss 5 minute masturbation, alt-right paleo culture, terrible teachers, 80 year old movie spoilers, the best vegan butter, neoliberal toothbrushes, and Bryan predicts the next It veggie.

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New Year, New Detox Jan 09, 2021

Goop releases their annual detox, but this time it's totally casual! Do it or don't. We both chose don't. We also are treated to a brand new GOOPGENES face oil, a tenuous link between COVID and Chronic Lyme, expensive ways to form good habits, dewy New Year's resolutions, Bruce Paltrow's famous pancakes and more!

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In Goop Health (UNLOCKED) Jan 01, 2021

Aggie and Bryan go to the vaults and unlock a Patreon episode, where we recap the inaugural In Goop Health Virtual Summit.

Go to patreon.com/goopyourself to hear more bonus content.

Happy New Year!!

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Gunt Yourself (TEASER) Dec 20, 2020

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

We review the Goop-sceptical limited series J*nsplaining (now streaming on Amazon Prime) and break down Dr. G's long running feud with Marianne, now featuring Bette Midler!

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Sex Balm Dec 19, 2020

Goop debuts a lip balm and a pair of wildly inappropriate gift boxes. We also discuss Hanukkah dinners, winter archetypes, canned cocktails, cashmere socks and more!

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The Ring of Surveillance Dec 11, 2020

We talk reducing waste, the myth of "self care," the diabolical Oura Ring, clean mascara, refillable body wash, and more - plus reviews of Goop Fair Trade Specialty Coffee and GOOPGENES Nourishing Repair Body Butter.

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GP vs. GC Dec 06, 2020

This week we review Goop's Thanksgiving herby roast chicken, break down Glenn Close's bitter tirade, congratulate Megan on her big news, discuss Bon Appetit's latest recipe catastrophe, preview Jenna Lyons' reality show and more!

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Thanksgiving For Two Nov 20, 2020

Gwyneth's childhood home is on the market, Isabella Rossellini's daughter moves to the country, and we're all switching out turkey for chicken this year. We also talk skin microbiomes, Gerda's pelvic floor advice, third gen nepotism, Anthropologie, clothing ruts, Staub tea kettles, The Crown and more!

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Next Year In Mustique Nov 14, 2020

Gwyneth drives to WeHo, Goop is (probably) not in financial trouble, and everyone's planning their fabulous Zoomsgivings. We also talk about the world's douchiest private island, the youngest looking 50-year-old, vegan cheese, Mormon Housewives, submitting to Marianne's version of Jesus, comfort food, $50 shampoo and GP's new morning routine.

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The Goop 2020 Gift Guide Guide Nov 06, 2020

Aggie and Bryan dissect the best, worst and most ridiculous gifts in goop's epic 2020 holiday guide.

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Hush (TEASER) Oct 31, 2020

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan discuss the disappointingly unspooky 1998 mother-in-law from hell thriller starring GP, Jessica Lange and Johnathon Schaech.

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RIP Starbucks Oct 30, 2020

Goop's sticking its fingers into lots of new pies, including the world of high end coffee and even higher end mattresses. We also talk Madame Ovary drama, sex with Shakespeare, Gwyneth's cannabis drink investment, the world's longest morning routine, election season astrology, 75-year-old French girls and more!

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A Tree Grows In Puglia Oct 23, 2020

Goop London closes, Bon Appetit video relaunches, and we talk vegan cheese, Vascepa, Theragun, Wim Hof, marriage problems, subscription services and more!

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Seedlips and Pelvic Clocks Oct 16, 2020

We talk pelvic clocks, non-alcoholic booze, food sovereignty, Elise's mom, celery juice, Kate Hudson, acupuncture and more!

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So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen Elise Oct 09, 2020

Elise Loehnen is stepping down as Chief Content Officer and we're not sure how to feel. Goop shares a prestigious award with everybody's favorite antibody cocktail company, Regeneron. We also talk fall fashion, Nick Hornby, Butyrate supplements, Gita robots, homemade sushi, loungewear overload and more!

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In Goop Health: Virtual Insanity (TEASER) Oct 04, 2020

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan recap (most of) the seminars, workouts and Q&As from the In Goop Health At Home Summit.

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Libra Season Oct 02, 2020

Gwyneth goes nude on her 48th birthday, GoopGenes body butter is here, a Goop linked doctor is selling fake COVID cures, Aggie's an empath and Bryan ate too much Cheesecake Factory. We also talk Goop's top 10 products, Noom, Jean's blowout guide, brow oil, Masterclass and more!

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Pure Uncut Xeomin Sep 25, 2020

Gwyneth hawks a Botox alternative on Drew Barrymore's show, Bryan and Aggie watch movies on basic cable, and rich people are begging you to vote! We also talk ergonomic chairs, healthy packaged food, humane spices, chickpea pasta, Megan's first misstep, and a trio of American literary giants (James Baldwin, Bret Easton Ellis and Mariah Carey).

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A Yoni Egg For Your Back Sep 11, 2020

We talk Zoom dates, vitamin protocols, apples, non-toxic pans, non-toxic pants, depressing books, crystal heating pads, distance learning privilege, dry brushing, exfoliators, distraction and more!

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Soy Boy Sep 04, 2020

We discuss a crazy Gwyneth rumor, a feud with Samantha Bee, a double dose of Gerda, defending soy, goop's employee discount, expensive rings, boring science, a missing necklace, Jean's exquisite prose, cooking for the unhoused, electric bikes, vibrating gold and more!

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The Secret: Dare to Dream (TEASER) Aug 30, 2020

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/goopyourself

Aggie and Bryan review the Goop approved, Katie Holmes starring cinematic event The Secret: Dare To Dream.

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Blasphemous Rumers Aug 29, 2020

We talk Gwyneth's at home hits, French girl mixed messages, Demi's daughter's latest venture, violence against Native women, designer highlighter, weighted blankets, napa cabbages and the return of the JADE EGG!

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Ziip Yourself Aug 21, 2020

We talk carrot juice, Nice White Parents, cachaça, self electrocution, summer picnics, Prolon fasts, Ulla Johnson, Katie Holmes and kale popsicles.

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Montauk Monster Aug 14, 2020

Aggie's taking her dermatological health into her own hands, Bryan has rediscovered the concept of reading, and someone very special is ALLEGEDLY working at Sag Harbor Goop MRKT. How's your summer going? We also talk jewelry splurges, CSAs, Weight Watchers, $100 goop deals, canned cocktails, Arizona road trips, heart rate anxiety, broccoli oil serums, seltzer machines, vegan comfort food and more!

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An Oral History of Conscious Uncoupling Aug 07, 2020

GP pens a Vogue essay, Bon Appetit burns to the ground, Elise wears Patagonia, a septuagenarian does the splits, Aggie gets her buckthorn oil and Bryan has a sugar-free white chocolate chip mishap. We also talk gold necklaces, $200 juicers, anxiety diets, acupuncture, High School Genes, Keurig cocktails, Leah McSweeney, Sonage face cream and more!

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Is That The Right Goop? Aug 01, 2020

Big news! Gwyneth launches GOOPGENES All-In-One Nourishing Face Cream, Apple gets a summer job, Aggie goes to the woods, Bryan hits 12,000 steps and we talk Cat Marnell, Housewives, Beyoncé and Taylor. The newsletters are all about hypocritical body positivity, needlessly complicated summer cocktails, narcissistic voting websites, obnoxious diffusers, gorgeous mesh tea bags, premade sauces and more. How long until Aggie gets her face oil from goop? It's anyone's guess.

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Ants On Crows Jul 24, 2020

This week we talk old man MDMA stories, self tanner, clean closets, Jean's beautiful mind, surfin' NYC, the joy of walking, composting confusion, art knowledge, $70 per day Sakara, Aggie's eggs and Bryan's sexy Goop dream.

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What's Your Chronotype? Jul 18, 2020

We're talking SQIRLgate, Goop's defund the police pivot, early birds, night owls, finding flow, philosophical data mining, salad for dinner, creamy cashew dressing, unemployment bonus juicers, Motown morning routines, oak table graters and beauty box donations.

Links discussed on the pod:

There's No I In Jam - Eater.com

Joe Rosenthal's Instagram

The Deep

For Our Magic

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Boob Puzzles and Bland Lentils Jul 11, 2020

This week we talk the Glee curse, candle vloggers, egg freezings, Gwyneth's summer recs, roast chicken, green globetrotting, herbal gynecology, no makeup makeup, Cooking Light recipes, ergonomics, ear seeds and more.

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Epidemiologists Are The New Party Planners Jul 04, 2020

Gwyneth interviews the Surgeon General, Breast Implant Illness makes its debut onto the speculative but promising stage, Megan gets personal, goop plans the most stressful 4th of July party ever, and we talk white t-shirts, French face massages and more.

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Poisoned Water and Droopy Lids Jun 27, 2020

We discuss the return of Alison Roman and do a short Politics Corner before getting to the week's newsletters, which include articles about Flint's water crisis, another no recipe meal plan, a tool to make your eyelids less droopy, more composting info, Jean's senior moment, meditative coloring books, influencer gifts and forming good habits.

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The Poop Lab Jun 19, 2020

Gwyneth takes four walks per day, Moses makes his Tonight Show debut, and the newsletter covers everything you'd always wanted to know about bowel movements. We also talk wine subscriptions, beeswax sunscreen, a three day repeat detox, W*ll C*ole's Hebrew prayers, $450 Birkenstocks, a summer reading list and more.

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Adam Rapoport and Ayurvedic Laxatives Jun 12, 2020

We dive into the turmoil at Bon Appetit and other cultural gatekeepers, and how it both relates to and distracts from the bigger conversations about systemic racism. Are similar dynamics taking place at Goop? Probably. We also talk electromagnetic radiation, CSAs, fancy lip balm, the new Dave Chappelle special, deleting Instagram, triphala supplements and scatalogical Father's Day presents.

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Aziza and Joe Jun 06, 2020

We're putting Gwyneth talk on hold to hear from Goop Yourself listener Aziza @aziza.calvarese and her husband Joe @jvc302. Aziza and Joe share their thoughts on the murder of George Floyd, Black PTSD and trauma, police violence, systemic racism, educational inequality, and their experience as an interracial couple in America.

Resources:

Explained: Racial Wealth Gap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqrhn8khGLM

Time: The Khalief Browder Story https://tinyurl.com/ycd6uxs7

When They See Us https://tinyurl.com/ya4vra68

13th https://tinyurl.com/yaqpzb8u

Just Mercy https://www.justmercyfilm.com/

Organizations:

Official George Floyd Memorial Fund https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

Campaign Zero https://www.joincampaignzero.org/

Black Visions Collective https://www.blackvisionsmn.org/

Equal Justice Initiative https://eji.org/

Support Black Owned Businesses https://www.supportblackowned.com/

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These Wafers Are Cancelled May 30, 2020

This week we talk conspiracies, dream interpretation, Jailbird cake, book clubs, bikini waxing, UTIs and Transcendental Meditation.

https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate

https://www.gofundme.com/f/peoples-city-council-ticket-fund

https://bailproject.org/

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Avocado Dreamin' May 22, 2020

Bryan gets a Fitbit, Aggie gets her teeth pulled, Elise shills for Avocado mattresses, we discuss another ginned up media person controversy, Dr. Hyman briefly tricks Bryan, the Goop staffers fantasize about vacation, and we talk muscle relaxers, journaling and the unkillable donabes.

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The Feud May 15, 2020

We go over all the Alison Roman / Chrissy Teigen drama before launching into the newsletters. There's cookbooks, couples therapy, charities, Topanga fantasies and more!

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Attitude of Gratitude May 08, 2020

We talk cutting board meals, multiple journals, produce longevity, GP's food photography, inspirational face cream, princess approved etiquette, Jean's anti-retinol activism, social work KonMari and a book club update.

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Tribal Warrior May 01, 2020

Aggie asks Gerda and receives answers, Bryan blows his Trumpbucks on heirloom grains from South Carolina, GP interviews a queen of cultural appropriation, and the newsletters talk boredom, schedules, $800 hydroponic herb gardens, French makeup remover and bamboo composters.

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Dear Guides and Angels Apr 24, 2020

Apple and GP collaborate, Jean exfoliates, Jennifer Freed talks faith, Megan learns the 5 archetypes and we all can't wait to make a low sugar breakfast.

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Death Squad Apr 17, 2020

Apple trolls her mom, Death writes a note to Elise, Goop's travel section turns on the TV, Bryan spends too much money on groceries, Aggie spends too much money on Sephora and we all do a lot of yoga.

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Beauty United Apr 10, 2020

This week Goop discovers our super secret yoga guru, Bryan tries Blue Apron (non-Seamus edition) and Gwyneth and friends create an only slightly cringe inspirational Covid video. We also talk slouchy cardigans, Ursa Major vs. Cetafil, veggie packed pasta, crystal packed water bottles and the joys of dental care.

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Mushrooms and Magnesium Apr 04, 2020

This week we talk Zoom makeup tips, beans and greens recipes, Gwyneth and Brad's couples counseling, fungus documentaries, Seamus getting comfortable in front of the camera, Megan's cold showers, Gerda's magnesium habit and Goop's pivot to hard science in the face of a catastrophe.

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Skype Yourself Mar 27, 2020

Aggie and Bryan successfully recorded a Skype episode, can you believe it?! We recount our week in quarantine before discussing a little Gwyneth news and gossip. The newsletters are chock full of advice, some practical, some questionable. We talk self tanner, probiotics, cauliflower bechamel, virologists, glowy super gel and more!

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Social Distancing Is Sexy Mar 20, 2020

Aggie and Bryan come to you (separately) to discuss how we and all the Goop girls are dealing with the craziness. Elise talks to a REAL DOCTOR, plus streaming workouts, finger nail celery cleanses, expensive sweatpants, pantry staple recipes and lots and lots of Goop Glow. Stay safe everybody!

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Going Viral Mar 13, 2020

This week we discuss Corona hoarding, GP and co wearing our very own Goop Girls shirt and all the crazy stuff in this week's newsletters. We cover two sad dinner parties, Seamus's mocktails, ski cream, Marianne's soothing videos, Rihanna vs. Kate Hudson and more.

Buy the shirt EVERYONE is talking about today! https://teespring.com/stores/goop-yourself

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Saffron and Sephora Mar 06, 2020

This week we talk Goop products launching in Sephora stores, a latte with the world's most expensive spice, a Burgundian river barge, the new Beverly Hills Gucci restaurant, a pill to cut sugar cravings and the truth about income satiation.

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Shallow Hallow Feb 28, 2020

We discuss GP's chic coronavirus mask selfie and a hard hitting Netflix interview by her best friend/assistant Kevin. The newsletters touch on toxic mold, numerology, mindful eating, body butter and Goop's doomed Mediterranean cruise.

Buy all Goop Yourself merch at https://teespring.com/stores/goop-yourself

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Money Dates and Meal Kits Feb 21, 2020

We get into a new Dr. J*n vs. Goop controversy, a makeup free dinner party and wade into the Jameela Jamil fracas. In the newsletters we talk Goop's collaboration between Seamus and Blue Apron, Gerda's soups for flus, disapproving dead mothers, money dates, leggings sales, Goop's Youtube channel and Bryan's new scent.

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Crystals For Boys Feb 14, 2020

This week we discuss Gwyneth's appearance on Ellen and Aggie's skiing adventure. We also talk Jean's new Vitamin C powder, the top 5 most masculine crystals, scammer art dealers, GP's interview with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, anxiety reducers, the return of the donabe, and a very powerful anti-consumerism Thing I Would Buy.

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Recapping The Goop Lab Jan 31, 2020

Aggie and Bryan discuss the best, worst and craziest from Netflix's iconic "docuseries" The Goop Lab.

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Tripping with Elise Jan 24, 2020

We're recording this episode mere hours after Netflix's Goop show drops, so we'll give you our first thoughts - full review coming next week! We finally drink some G.Tox Detoxifying Powder thanks to a very generous listener. We also talk reverse aging, sexy lingerie, transforming negativity, the joy of missing out and drugs!

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This Podcast Smells Like My Vagina Jan 18, 2020

We go over all the latest Gwyneth news including some shade from Martha Stewart, early reviews of Netflix's The Goop Lab and all the stupid candle kerfuffle. The newsletters this week cover an autoimmune guru, one pot Seamus recipes, deep breathing techniques, burning your trauma, cleaning out your closet, an Eckhart Tolle interview, Bryan's goop gift reviews and much more!

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Queen of Netflix Jan 10, 2020

This week we talk Netflix's "The Goop Lab" trailer, Gwyneth's Golden Globes gown, the Goop at Sea cruise news, Marianne's exit from the 2020 race, the annual Goop detoxes, the G.Tox Detoxifying Superpowder and much more!

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Doxxing Kate Hudson Dec 28, 2019

We round up all the year end Goop news including 70% off sale codes, Kate Hudson's new vodka line (and podcast), sulfite allergies, cozy skin detoxes, eco-friendly Rothschilds, salt pros and cons, and previews of Aggie and Bryan's New Years resolutions.

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G. Tidings To All Dec 13, 2019

We talk Gwyneth's scandalous stocking stuffer, a Palm Beach guide, cheap bidets, Seamus's airplane snacks, an Elise doppelgänger, foam rollers (AGAIN!), and the new Todd Haynes movie about Teflon.

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Vetiver, Ylang-Ylang, and Oud Dec 06, 2019

We talk about our Thanksgivings (and Bryan's trip to the San Francisco Goop store) before breaking down J** G*****'s latest Twitter controversy. From the newsletters, we discuss makeup that's actually makeup, a uniform that's not a uniform, depressing astrology, Big Bear pluses and minuses, the Falchuk plan for world peace, Jean's pick for the best present in the world and a Goop sale update.

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Gerda On A Bicycle Nov 22, 2019

This week we check in with Gwyneth, Marianne and Dr J*n before getting into the news. We talk in-flight essentials, endocrine disruptors, vitamin D, gut supporters, Activia, color science, eyelash curlers and ephedrine.

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Jeffrey & Ghislaine Presents: Goop Yourself's Annual Goop Gift Guide Guide Nov 15, 2019

Aggie and Bryan review all the expensive depravity in this year's Goop Gift Guide.

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Essential Oil Game Night Nov 08, 2019

This week Gwyneth responds to Wesley Morris's NYTimes essay about her, Bryan saves his laptop and Aggie signs up for bootcamp. In the newsletters we talk foundation shade-matching, Kennedy granddaughter environmental activism, Gerda's new obsession with essential oils, an unneeded Aspen guide, goop's tragic Activia partnership, Seamus's keto snack tips, an afternoon skin routine and a brand new lip balm.

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Speculative But Promising: Steam Your Laptop! Nov 03, 2019

The pod is up late because Bryan spilled water on his laptop - but after 24 hours of towel drying, hair drying, and hanging it upside down - it seems to be good as new? We talk air quality, Gossip Cop, Goop's new science team, liquid mascara, the Sunday blues, hating makeup, East Bay erasure and private equity wives.

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Hail Paimon Oct 25, 2019

This week we talk wellness gaslighting, goop's top 10 bestsellers, Montecito, Jean's Swiss spa journey, GP modeling fall fashion, Seamus's questionably cleaned up recipes, new LA restaurants and Dr. Junger's possible ties to Satanism!

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A Lame Old White Lady Oct 18, 2019

We talk Gwyneth's "Women In Hollywood" speech, Aggie and Bryan's various ailments and some hot new recipes before getting into the newsletters. This week Goop covers vegetarian one-pot dishes, an anti-inflammation elimination diet by You Know Who, the benefits of elderberry, a truly crazy sweater, $145 anti-pollution drops, new makeup brushes and the return of the travel agent.

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Make Low-Fat Great Again Oct 12, 2019

We discuss Aggie's DC travels, Bryan's gradual vegetarianism and Gwyneth's topless Elle shoot before getting into all the week's newsletters. We cover Megan's Jamaican vacation, Gerta's dietary fat advise, Cotswalds house porn, gluten-free heartburn meds, cozy slippers and the continuing GoopGenes catastrophe.

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TEASER - The Politician Oct 11, 2019

Subscribe today for access to all premium episodes!

www.patreon.com/goopyourself

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There. I Said It. Oct 04, 2019

This week we talk about Wesley Morris's fantastic Gwyneth Paltrow essay in The New York Times, GP's Kimmel appearance and Goop's big Hawaiian travel guide. We also talk body oil, Peruvian chicken, past lives and sex astrology!

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Birthday Girl Sep 28, 2019

We celebrate GP's 47th birthday by speculating about The Politician, discussing her controversial Emmy's walk and diving into some recently unearthed JLo shade. We also cover Tata Harper's appearance on The Beauty Closet, Goopfellas circling the drain, a NYC travel guide, faux grunge wear, eco-friendly beds for kids, goop's East Coast hovel and more!

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Most Improved Sep 20, 2019

This week we talk about the WeWork scandal (starring GP's cousin), if goop will survive the Socialist revolution and which gluten-free pastas we would try! We also discuss a much improved travel guide, a French makeup artist's goop conversion, ecstatic practices, $200 per day pop-up gyms, Elise's past as an elite skier and if we have to give up cheese to save the world.

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Ever Heard of Malibu? Sep 13, 2019

We talk fake instagram nudes, Gwyneth's Weinstein heroism, Dr. J*n's mysterious book burning incident and Bryan's hatred for Queer Eye. Summer is over so the newsletters are back to three a week, and we talk Gundry, list making, Goop's bland travel coverage, the end of the French girl, Seamus's grain bowls and a very masculine body cream.

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GAnon Sep 07, 2019

This week Aggie calls in from North Carolina, Gwyneth says goodbye to the Hamptons, Dr. J*n challenges Marianne to a debate and Bryan starts a very plausible Gerda conspiracy. We also talk Japanese breakfast, trampoline cardio, CoolSculpting, postpartum PTSD, organic tan infused cloths and diamonds for one.

Next week Aggie's back in town so we promise a return to our normally flawless audio quality!

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Gwyneth vs. Martha Aug 30, 2019

Aggie calls in from Portland to talk Martha Stewart shade, Dr. J's one-star Amazon review, Marianne's last gasps and GP's convo with Michelle Pfeiffer. As always we discuss the newsletters, touching on Jean and Megan's interview with the RMS Beauty founder, Speculative but Promising herbal medicines, Gerda trapped in the office with a million unopened Nerd Alerts, Ali's $320 Olsen Twin Tees, an unintuitive intuitive guide and Goop's fall book recs.

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Eat The Rich (Except For Gwyneth) Aug 23, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's "controversial" book curator and Dr. Jen's amazing Mother Jones Profile before diving into the week's news. We cover anxiety cures, why The Goop 15 needs to go, sun dresses vs. jumpsuits, vegan salad dressings, voluntarily homeless MS survivors, the world's best plastic surgeon, and why Goop's Rolex ad should incite a Socialist revolution.

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Bonus Episode - The Experts (Aggie's New Podcast) Aug 20, 2019

Enjoy a bonus ep of Aggie's new podcast The Experts where she and her co-host Irene Marquette become experts in whatever they want! This episode is the third in their Anna Nicole Smith series! Thank you for downloading xo

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The Hamptons Suck Aug 16, 2019

We deal with some quick news items concerning GP's ski accident lawsuit and goop's new Nashville pop-up before getting into the newsletters. We discuss relaxing bath salts, seersucker bikinis, Medieval Tuscan spas, Elise's mean girl revenge, skinny tequila cocktails, mind/soul/spirit meditations, collagen misinformation, and why the Hamptons are terrible. Enjoy!

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Lasso of Truth Aug 10, 2019

We recap a ton of GP and GP adjacent news and preview two new TV shows that will be duking it out this fall. Then it's on to the newsletters, where we discuss penis shock treatment, how to handle getting fired, Jean's Marie Antoinette moment, a climate change diet, fruit shaped bodies, and the world's most elaborate clambake.

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Do You Know Where We Can Get Some Ketamine? Aug 02, 2019

Marianne's campaign is in trouble after a rough Anderson Cooper interview, the goopf*llas talk k*totarian and IF, and Gwyneth is maybe in hiding? Who knows! The newsletters are back with talk about Italian hot weather fashion, $55 therapy cards, a spirit guide school, prescription Ketamine, genetic testing kits, Ursa Major facewipes, and #fempire neon signs.

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That's What All My Black Friends Say! Jul 26, 2019

Megan and Jean have a new beauty podcast, and guess who's the first guest?!? We talk The Beauty Closet, a 1992 Marianne profile, a 2019 Dr. Jen profile, and the newsletters. We learn how to rediscover joy, what to pack in your beach bags, goop launches a new exfoliating mask, and why we should buy half a cabbage.

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It's Just Options! Jul 19, 2019

Tracy Anderson defends GP, Gwyneth has a new royal friend, and Dr. Gunter gets a big profile in a Canadian magazine. We also talk a little Marianne before delving into the newsletters. This week goop talks inclusive wellness, male friendships (again), furniture obsessed supermodels, 6 tips for glowing skin, goop dogs and cats, a London In Goop Health slideshow, and LA staycations.

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Angels In Darth Vader Suits Jul 12, 2019

Bryan and Aggie are both being possessed by Annabelle, so we're a little on edge today. We go over the Goop office NYTimes spread before discussing the newsletters (both Goop Men and Goop Everyone!) We talk amethyst, male friendships, Marianne's AIDS treatments, confusing workouts, Seamus's weird breakfasts, sexy shorts, and kiwi comebacks.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - We have Goop Yourself MERCH!

Go to https://teespring.com/stores/goop-yourself for all your T-shirt, tote bag, and phone case needs!

As always follow us on Insta and Twitter @goopyourself and visit our Patreon

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HIGH CAMP: Suddenly, Last Summer with Aggie Hewitt Jul 09, 2019

This is the first proper episode of Bryan's new podcast, HIGH CAMP. After this episode, High Camp will only be available on its own feed every Tuesday. Please subscribe wherever you listen to Goop Yourself!!!

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Aggie Hewitt (Goop Yourself, HAG CRY) joins Bryan to talk about Joseph L. Mankiewicz's SUDDENLY, LAST SUMMER. The 1959 camp classic stars Elizabeth Taylor, Montgomery Clift, Katharine Hepburn, and a Venus Flytrap. We talk Tennessee Williams, southern accents, internalized homophobia and more!

Suddenly, Last Summer is available to rent on all major streaming platforms.

Please rate and review High Camp on Apple Podcasts!

Follow High Camp on Instagram and Twitter @highcamppod

Follow Bryan on Instagram and Twitter @ruckerbry, and on Letterboxd at @mrjopek

Follow Aggie on Instagram @aggiehewitt

Next week, Bryan watches Busby Berkeley's THE GANG'S ALL HERE.

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GP is a F--king Extortionist Jul 05, 2019

We recap all the madness at the London In Goop Health summit, including some very harsh words by a "prominent British guest." We also do a deep dive into Marianne Williamson's origin story courtesy of the New York Times. The newsletters were... let's just say... abbreviated this week. We touch on 5 second outfits, Jean's tastemaker stylist friend, fashion rules broken, a 2 item microdermabrasion list, lip baum supply and demand, and summer documentaries.

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High Camp with Bryan Rucker SNEAK PEAK Jul 01, 2019

Hey Goop Yourself listeners! You've just downloaded a preview episode of Bryan's new podcast, High Camp, in which he'll talk about old gay movies that you might have forgotten. We'll put next week's episode, starring one Ms. Aggie Hewitt, on the Goop Yourself feed - but after that you're on your own. If you love movies, queer content, or just enjoy Bryan's voice, subscribe to High Camp on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to Goop Yourself.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-camp/id1470330489

https://open.spotify.com/episode/11HCrC55bWKHP8qXHNjuwn

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In the 1990s, Duluth librarian Paul Roen published a two volume gay movie guide called "High Camp", reviewing queer cult classics from every corner of film history. 25 years later, Bryan Rucker and his special guests attempt to watch every movie listed in the books before they are forgotten!

Follow Bryan on Twitter and Instagram @ruckerbry and @highcamppod

In next week's episode, Aggie Hewitt (Goop Yourself, HAG CRY) and I are going to discuss Joseph L. Mankiewicz's "Suddenly, Last Summer" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Montgomery Clift, and Katharine Hepburn - based on the play by Tennessee Williams. See you then!

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Marianne 2020 Jun 29, 2019

Goop was a snooze again, so thank the gods for politics. Last night at the Democratic debates, goop's own Marianne Williamson stole the show and was immediately propelled into the lead, smiting all her rivals and basically moving right into the White House. We talk about her dubious anti-vax past, very dubious AIDS charity, and how she's going to harness love and win our democracy back. We also touch on the newsletters, discussing popcorn flavors, good posture, cancer prevention, crystals, and that ever elusive trip to Joshua Tree.

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Summer Detox LIES Jun 21, 2019

We talk Gwyneth's sojourn to London, Chris and Dakota's possible split, and an ad sponsored engagement from a Goop employee. The newsletter is pretty sparse this week but we muddle through and discuss a summer detox fake out, how to avoid a stroke, Jean's clean lip baum, fantasy trips to France and Mexico, Bryan's rhodiola journey, and Aggie's new business. Join us at patreon.com/goopyourself, and if you want someone to talk sh*t about you ex with you, call HAG-CRY-8805. That's 424-279-8805.

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Dear Pickle Jun 14, 2019

A lot is happening and we're talking about all of it! Meghan McCain doesn't approve of Gwyneth & Brad's living relationship, The Fellas' have a special (female) guest, and Goop goes all in on summer sandals. We also talk spiritual science, stretches for your fascia, who's ruining San Francisco, high waisted jeans and crop tops, and some *very* intimate Letters from Daddy.

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Was I In Spider-Man? Jun 07, 2019

Today we celebrate the launch of Goop Men, Gwyneth's viral Pepper Pot moment, Brad's Brentwood house listing and more! The newsletters touch on a traumatized woman who can see dead people, more GoopFella nonsense starring our favorite chiropractor, some fancy sweaters, and another week of the big Goop sale. Enjoy!

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California Closets and Sakara Life May 31, 2019

We catch up on Gwyneth news and admit to some questionable recent food choices before going over the newest newsletters. We talk Elise's closet upgrade, spiritual business tuneups, the Sakara ladies' morning routines, a new busy girl summer cleanse, and an update on all the latest Goop sales.

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Scientific Sex Toys and In Goop Health Seminars May 24, 2019

We recap all the best moments of In Goop Health, the biannual extravaganza that we were again not invited to. We'll also briefly discuss the new hellscape our ears were subjected to this week - you know what we're talking about. Then the newsletters: sex toys endorsed by Goop's resident scientist, a 40% sale on everything from sugar bowls to underwear, Gwyenth's pre-Met Gala routine with her Céline stylist, Aggie's plans to dye her hair herself, and Bryan's search for a new face moisturizer.

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Physical Empaths and Pelvic Sleep Tips May 17, 2019

It's Apple Martin's 15th birthday! How are you celebrating? We recap all the Instagram festivities and discuss a goop contributor's possible royal wedding before getting into the newsletters. This week the fine women and men at Goop HQ teach us about helping women experiencing homelessness, 3D printed jewelry, the martial art of wellness, an OG functional doctor's new book, The Power Source sleep tips, a summer packing list, a cool white skirt, and some tropical beach balm. Feliz Quinceanera!

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Inclusive Yoga and Chemo Workouts May 11, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's Met Ball look, Blythe's Alzheimer's movie, and some upcoming Goop events before getting into this week's bonkers newsletters. There's exercise tips for cancer patients, more mineral sunscreen nonsense, the Falchuk cult's pleasure principle, mouth microbiome, inclusive yoga, podcast bras, pasture raised ghee, and a recap of Goop's Smoky Mountain retreat.

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Malachite and Mayor Pete May 03, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's reign as the Queen of the Avengers (skip to 4:30 to avoid spoilers,) her Mayor Pete controversy, that NYTimes article comparing Jack Dorsey to GP, our review of Goop's Knock Me Out chews, and Burger King's co-opting of self-care culture. Then we dive into this week's bleak newsletters: the rollout of the new G-Tox Malachite crystal cleansers, a new line of DoubleJ apparel, a horrible story about cancer and psychics, service worker harassment by a Goop copywriter, three generations of French beauty editors, and new skincare videos by three up and coming Goop ingenues.

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An Angry Daughter and the Avengers Premiere Apr 28, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's newest role (no spoilers, but we do talk Avengers for the first 8 minutes) and her love for presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg before getting into Goop's Mother's Day newsletters. They include a searing personal letter to an abusive dead mom, pink pants, sunscreen misinformation, Gwyneth's controversial premiere look, bucket bags, weighted blankets, plastic boat shoes, and more discussion of the pelvic floor.

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A $500 Vibrator and a Cancer Curing Touch Apr 19, 2019

Aggie's on a mostly vegan diet, Bryan's on a mostly taco diet, and Gwyneth's taking selfies with a jellyfish in Dubai. We review all the goop news (including a new podcast from one of our nemeses) before diving into the newsletters. We discuss MIT doctor approved vibrators, $10 eye masks, a man who cured thousands of mice from breast cancer, if orthopedic surgery is a scam, a young goop employee who turned down grad school to join a cult, cauliflower oatmeal, and a 4-year-old fashion icon.

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MMR Vaccines and Money Stories Apr 13, 2019

We discuss a very dubious Gwyneth/Brad rumor, how Gwyneth is finally getting mistaken for her mother, and a gendered reading of the low fat/low carb debate before getting into the newsletters. This week we talk Goop finally taking the right stance on vaccines, useless sweet potato breakfast recipes, a queer feminist wealth manager, Jean's hairbrush tips, a toddler food delivery service, clean acne solutions, and a Goop sponsored Smoky Mountain vacation.

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Goop Glow Peels and Earthquake Meals Apr 05, 2019

We do a quick recap of the Marvel Cinematic Universe through the lens of the only superhero that matters (Gwyneth) before jumping into the newsletters. We discuss the launch of the $150 Goop Glow Face Peels, which Goop ladies are camera ready, why gluten-free cbd brownies are depressing, and how to make surviving an earthquake elitist. Go to patreon.com/goopyourself and sign up for extra content for as little as $1 per month! xx

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QUICK PLUG: Get the Goop Yourself Newsletter for $1 per month! Apr 02, 2019

Go to patreon.com/goopyourself and get Aggie and Bryan's monthly newsletter for $1 per month. Join the new "Newsies" tier and read about all our non-goop obsessions we don't have time for on the pod. We write about our current favorite books, music, movies, beauty products, recipes, TV shows and more. Join now and get our latest newsletter delivered straight to your inbox, as well as access to all our back issues on Patreon. Thank you so much for listening to this commercial!

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Plant Energy and Pelvic Floors Mar 29, 2019

Audio issues are fixed, hooray!! We discuss Apple vs. Gwyneth, the Beverly Hills Hotel boycott, and the new Avengers poster before diving into the newsletters. This week is all about Peruvian plant energy, eyebrow maintenance, spring skirts, fancy sheets, sexy foam roller workouts, bad quizzes and broccoli tots.

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Bonus Mother and Vintner's Daughter Mar 22, 2019

This week we discuss the poster for Gwyneth's new Netflix show "The Politician," Aggie's continuing cannabis adventures, and Bryan's ongoing stew obsession. Then we dive into the newsletters - covering color blocking, bonus parents, botanical vodkas, pore protocol, a hellish sounding In Goop Health, urinary incontinence, and a brand new product from our favorite fancy serum.

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Food Journals and French Bread Pizza Mar 15, 2019

We have a deep conversation about Gwyneth's continuing relationship to Marvel movies and Aggie's possible pothead conversion before discussing this week's newsletters. We touch on an expensive back massager, a simple skincare routine, high/low pizza, women on the go, and a new Keto doctor.

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Modifying Genes and Old Navy Jeans Mar 08, 2019

Aggie's desperate to start a diet but is sticking to her guns, Bryan's reintroducing lentils to his diet after the trauma of the Four Hour Body, and Gwyneth is manspreading and renouncing her acting career in the New York Times. After a roundup of the "news" we discuss the week's newsletters. We talk about the endless GMO debate, astrology for self-acceptance, a $400 Tata Harper serum, how goop is good for female entrepreneurs, how Old Navy is saving feminism, a new way to breathe, and why French drugstore products are better than "natural" skincare.

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Clean Meat and Christian Lingerie Mar 02, 2019

Special guest Amber Petty (The Masked Podcast) joins Aggie and Bryan to share her own diet journey and dissect the latest Goop newsletters. We talk evangelical underwear, luxury vape pens, the latest from Barry Michaels (RIP Phil?), Gwyneth's après ski counter suit, a hairbrush primer, alkaline water, meat grown in labs, and the launch of Goop's vitamin chews!

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Ep. 118: Soul Mates and Shirt Dresses Feb 22, 2019

There's a lot of Gwyneth gossip this week - we run down her exit from Marvel, fights with Weinstein, and her appearance at Jennifer Aniston's 50th. Then we talk about this week's newsletters, discussing Aggie's skin care crisis, the concept of Twin Flames, harissa meatball soup, $700 shirt dresses, CBN (the new CBD), Jean's floral scent, and Bryan's mind-gut connection.

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Ep. 117: Detox for Heartache and Diastasis Recti Feb 15, 2019

We talk about Aggie's post-Valentine's Day hangover, Bryan's purple energy drinks, and a Goopy parsnip soup before discussing a delightful week of newsletters. We cover post-breakup detoxes, screen time apologists, goop condoms, clean shampoo, Cabo vacations, and the new Ralph Nader.

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Ep. 116: Gold Bars and Gwyneth TV Feb 08, 2019

We discuss the breaking Netflix/Goop news before talking about this week's newsletters. We cover vibrating gold bars for your face, sobriety stories, the return of the Toxic Avenger, astrological sex therapy, oil cleansers, chickpeas for breakfast, Ayurvedic anti-depressants, and if this is the end of Goop Magazine? EDIT: This was recorded minutes before the MAGAZINE REFUND email went out.

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Ep. 115: Ski Accidents and Sustainability Feb 01, 2019

There's a lot of Goop news this week. We discuss the "hit-and-run" lawsuit against Gwyneth, her interview with presidential trashfire Howard Schultz, and the NYTimes viral stew before plunging in to the newsletters. We also talk natural lipstick, self-tanner, corporate mentorship, chronic pain, sustainability for rich kids, flower shops, and compost bins.

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Ep. 114: Meatloaf and Metal Straws Jan 25, 2019

Aggie and Bryan chat about our wildly inconsistent diet and exercise routines before discussing the latest newsletters. We go over the Gwyneth/Antoni meatloaf duel, Jean's $45 moisturizing bar, workplace accessories, the overuse of "paradigm," how metal straws are the new donabes, if Aggie should join a wine club, and can you replace a crippling heroin addiction with CBD.

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Ep. 113: Goop Poop and a Goop Scoop Jan 18, 2019

We get an anonymous tip about the true origins of Goop Wellness Vitamins before plunging into the newsletters. We talk face oil cleanser combos, Marie Kondo - goop style, fecal transplants, skeptical numerology, carrot soup, GP's pre-wedding face regimen, and traumatic identity.

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Ep. 112: Clean Plates and Crispy Chickpeas Jan 11, 2019

We share highlights from our winter breaks and preview Gwyneth's new cookbook "The Clean Plate" before discussing the last couple of weeks of newsletters. We talk 2019 detoxes, psychedelic opioid cures, concealer reviews, diet vows, fleece workout gear and fire damaged morning routines.

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Ep. 111: Apologies and Awards Dec 21, 2018

Wow, this is the last Goop Yourself of 2018 and what a journey it's been! We go over Goop's First (Only?) Annual Greater Goop Awards, which honor fancy innovative companies like CVS and Levi's Jeans! We also discuss the rest of the newsletter - touching on dewy concealer, sofa fever, the darkness of Savannah, the 5 Apology Languages, salmon parties, and dead flowers. Have a Goopy New Year!!

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Ep. 110: Ski Bunny Fashion and Store Bought Food Dec 14, 2018

This week we quickly discuss our pre-Holiday protocols before going over the latest newsletters. We touch on ski bunny fashion, screen time addiction, expensive flower water, Parisian travel guides, Whole 30 journals, nut-free candy canes, GPs nighttime routine, Jean's favorite lip baum, and Aggie's Goop shopping spree.

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Ep. 109: Marine Collagen and Megababe Dec 07, 2018

Aggie and Bryan taste test GoopGenes collagen powder and marvel at Gwyneth's WSJ photos before diving into the unending newsletters. We discuss a Megababe morning routine, Hanukkah recipes, wreath making, weed websites, Holiday snacking, and the case of the missing Tata Harper cream.

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Ep. 108: Chill Weddings and Stoned Chiropractors Dec 01, 2018

We're back! Aggie goes over her immunity regimen and Bryan recounts his trip to the New York goop store before diving into the latest newsletters. We discuss easy vegan meals, low key goop brides, fancy sneakers, suction cups for phones, cbd for your sore back, tips for social anxiety, psychic jump suits, and a sneak peak at GP's new clean eating cook book. Visit us at patreon.com/goopyourself!

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Ep. 107: The Goop Yourself Goop Holiday Gift Guide Gift Guide Nov 21, 2018

Blessed be the Goop! The annual holiday gift guide is out and it actually pretty good. There are gift guides for travelers, hostesses, lovers, children, guys, cooks, and wellness junkies. What ridiculous but awesome gifts will you be jonesing for this Christmas? Aggie and Bryan are covering it all. Please excuse the lateness and the audio quality of this podcast - Bryan had many traveling snafus on his way to the East Coast. We'll be back after next week in the same room. Feliz Thanksgiving!

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Ep. 106: Breakfast and Bitcoin Nov 10, 2018

This week we discuss Gwyneth's gross breakfast smoothie, tips to reduce anxiety, medical intuition, the return of diamonds, cryptocurrency, book recommendations, and the launch of G.Day body wash and oil. Visit our Patreon at patreon.com/goopyourself.

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Ep. 105: Marijuana and Mist Nov 02, 2018

On this episode we recap the Faltrow wedding pics that have finally been released to the public. The dress, the guests, the food - we get into all of it! Then we discuss the newsletters - touching on the female archetype diet, Jean's face mists, Megan's tinted face oil, Gwyneth's hard hitting interview with frenemy Julia Roberts, more tedious cannabis content, and a sneak peak of our first Patreon exclusive Goop Field Trip podcast, dropping soon. Visit patreon.com/goopyourself to subscribe.

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Ep. 104: The Medical Medium's Miracle Oct 26, 2018

We accuse Brad Falchuk of having potentially bad breath and reminisce about Gwyneth's Se7en Halloween costume before diving into this week's newsletter. The Medical Medium is pivoting to celery, Dr. Cole is a Ketotarian, Aggie wants bell bottoms, and Bryan might become a middle aged surfer. We also discuss P.Volve workouts, incomplete beer guides, clean cleaning supplies, and the danger of almonds. Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Ep. 103: GoopGenes and Polyamorous Scenes Oct 19, 2018

We do a little gossip corner and diet update before getting into the week's newsletters. We discuss Ali's work uniform, J*n G*nter's latest tirade, Coola mist, metal straws, the Jar Method, a nonmonogomy glossary, an exfoliating instant facial, and the biggest news of the week: the launch of GoopGenes. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/goopyourself

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Ep. 102: Bathing Suits, Beauty, Beemers, and Bonet Oct 12, 2018

After a quick diet update, Aggie and Bryan discuss the latest Goop newsletters, podcast, and magazine! We talk unisex bathing suits, douchy BMWs, appreciating beauty, Lisa Bonet's poetry, expensive beach totes, expensive espresso machines, Elise Loehnen's Costco habit, teenage yoga gurus, and who had the Rachel before Jennifer Aniston. Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/goopyourself!

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Ep. 101: Wedding Pics and Deformed Dicks Oct 05, 2018

This week we recap the most mysterious wedding of our lifetimes, relive Bryan's first week of Keto, and announce our brand new Patreon page (!!!) before diving into the newsletters. We discuss fancy bodegas, fall pastels, The Dirt Cure, the deformed genitals of little Swedish boys and how to prevent them, hair masks, cotton produce bags, and basic style icons. Visit patreon.com/goopyourself to get exclusive content. God bless us everyone.

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Ep. 100: Weddings and Anniversaries Sep 28, 2018

It's Goop Yourself's 100th episode and Goop's 10th Anniversary. We look back on a decade of detoxes, expensive face creams, travel tips for the 1%, and questionable health advice. Aggie and Bryan reminisce about their first Goop memories. Plus, we discuss Gwyneth's upcoming wedding to Brad and Bryan's upcoming fling with keto. Thanks for making it to 100 with us!

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Ep. 99: Silence and Salt Sep 21, 2018

We catch you up on what we're reading this week, and Bryan and Aggie discuss the pros and cons of KetOctober. Then we plunge into the salty depths of the newsletters, discussing low sodium diets, high sodium vacations, silent meditation retreats, funky accent walls, Prada fanny packs, Los Angeles brunch lies, and $40 rosemary water.

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Ep. 98: Clog Closets and Curbed Cravings Sep 14, 2018

We recount the ups and downs of the cb2 x Goop event we attended over the weekend. Then we launch into this week's newsletters, discussing keto for Alzheimer's, garlic confit, a decadent daytime routine, Jackson Hole, a miracle lozenge, and new the Goop Editor-In-Chief's alleged "clog closet."

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Ep. 97: Bedroom Sheets and Boards of Meats Sep 07, 2018

Today we reflect on the "shocking" GOOP lawsuit settlement and how it will affect yoni egg science going forward. We also discuss Jungian intuition, vesper boards, raising lions, saving trees, backless shoes, plant based serums, wealthy photographers, and bedroom essentials.

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Ep. 96: Vegan in Life, Eggs in Death Sep 03, 2018

We're back from vacation and hitting the ground running. We talk vegan keto, kitchen makeovers, solid toners, mindful parenting, death doulas, burial eggs, and underrated restaurant cities. Aggie starts eating like a French woman and Bryan starts his keto countdown.

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Ep. 95: Rainbow Snacks and Heart Attacks Aug 18, 2018

Aggie calls in from Newcastle, England, the least goopy spot in the UK! We discuss the health benefits of bilingualism, the rainbow diet, summertime salads, tragic memoirs, gluten-free fish and chips, basement Beverly Hills diners, advice from a cardiologist who doesn't know what goop is, and what type of Angeleno calls West Hollywood "the East Side."

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Ep. 94: Finances and the Future Aug 10, 2018

Aggie and Bryan give updates on their Trader Joe's and TruNiagen experiences. Then they try to spin gold out of the crap that is the GOOP newsletter in August, touching on financial advice for wealthy children, a lady who claims to have predicted 9/11, a taco truck in the Hamptons, the sad decline of Ask Jean, grain share CSAs, Megan's collagen shakes, and a tentative pledge to try Keto this fall.

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Ep. 93: Noodles and Niagen Aug 03, 2018

Bryan discusses the first steps in his Tru Niagen journey, and Aggie starts listening to "The Tools" before they dive into Taffy Brodesser-Akner's twitter discussion with Dr. Jen Gunter and take opposing sides in the great zoodle debate. They also touch in on the Cartier Paltrow Hamptons gala, an off-brand K-Town guide, a book about dying, and the mellowing of Tracy Anderson.

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Ep. 92: Slouching Towards Brentwood Jul 27, 2018

The goopisphere was shaken to the core this week with the publication of journalist Taffy Brodesser-Akner's definitive profile of GP in the New York Times Magazine. We discuss highlights from the article and recount both Aggie and Bryan's vacations before launching into the last two weeks' newsletters. Listen to our thoughts on tinted face oil, plastic straws, frozen snacks, Sarah Jessica Parker, mind architects, drawing God, infrared saunas, artsy Hamptons mansions, and what to do if your future sister-in-law is possibly in a cult. If you like the pod, please tell your goopy friends and write a five star review on Apple Podcasts!

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Ep. 91: Heavy Metals and Heavier Tables Jul 13, 2018

This week goop announces its magazine subscription and it's... actually a good deal? We talk functional medicine (yes, again), dining room tables, acupressure scalp massages, a very Brooklyn morning routine, and (hopefully for the last time) dry brushing.

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Ep. 90: Energy Monsters and Acupuncture Gods Jul 06, 2018

Goop does a hard pivot to video, and there's some winners and some losers. We talk lovelorn acupuncturists, osteopaths disguised as neurologists, gynocologists disguised as psychologists, elderly raver pants, korean shredded chicken, Megan Abbott novels, salt scalp scrubs, Japanese salad bowls, Chicago coffeeshops, and fingernail health.

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Ep. 89: Dirty Lemon and Nasty French Toast Jun 29, 2018

Bryan is sick of all the diets out there so he's invented his own. It's called the 1*1*1 and it will make him a millionaire. Listen to learn how you can make it part of your healthy lifestyle! After the sales pitch we talk weird child discipline techniques, Aggie's fear of self-tanning, citrus perfume, jasmine salt spray, a "clean" French Toast recipe from a disgraced CEO, Netflix propaganda, and SSRIs. Plus, a special announcement.

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Ep. 88: Fertility and Fellini Jun 23, 2018

Getting pregnant is hard but goop has all the answers. That's right, it's time for goop's fertility issue and Aggie and Bryan would rather talk about anything else. So we discuss alternative fertility methods and egg freezing but also Staub dutch ovens, Italian cinema, and vegan pimento cheese. Plus, an update on Bryan and Aggie's cannabis and vodka adventures. You know things are really bad when goop posts a charity link so please donate if you can. https://goop.com/work/civics/how-you-can-help-immigrant-children/

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Ep. 87: Summer Solstice and CBD Jun 15, 2018

After a quick recap of In Goop Health (the FOMO didn't hit as hard as we thought) we give updates on diet, drinking, and summer reading. Then we dive into the newsletters, discussing Summer Solstice astrology, Barry (or Phil's) appearance on the Goop podcast, scary Hamptons ladies, meal prep sauce fantasies, outdated travel guides, and goop's inevitable expansion into fancy white people cannabis.

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Ep. 86: Goop Glow Unboxing Jun 09, 2018

For the second year in a row, Aggie and Bryan were not invited to In Goop Health, but it's ok because we scored some Goop Glow and we're drinking it live on the pod. We then launch into the news - discussing nipple balm, cotton bowl covers, post natal depletion, zuo yuezi, low alcohol cocktails, and a face massager that might be a sex toy.

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Ep. 85: Raw Tarts and Reiki Jun 01, 2018

This week's intense newsletter puts a spotlight on a variety of eating disorders, covering everything from binge eating to orthorexia. But Aggie and Bryan decide to focus on the sunny side of goop, discussing Bravolebrity reiki masters, a tragic raw summer tart, vegan Big Macs, fancy LA salons, a Dr. Taz update, $300 indoor trees, and Megan's awesome wedding pics. This pod has been brought to you by Vitamin B12 and DayQuil Liquicaps.

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Ep. 84: Consciousness Beats and Literary Treats May 25, 2018

After spending the first several minutes of our podcast defending mayonnaise, we dip into the newsletters, exploring consiousness and manifesting our power. We also touch on secret office psychics, local vegan restaurants, $40 scrunchies, a huge goop sale, and a summer reading list. Warning: This podcast is speculative but promising.

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Ep. 83: Savvy Chicks and a Forest Fix May 18, 2018

After another illuminating diet and health powwow, Aggie and Bryan discuss the goop newsletters, touching on Forest Bathing, Power Types, Spring Feasts, Narcissistic Parenting, and Fish CSAs! Plus, we get our first one star review. We're fine with it. We're totally fine.

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Ep. 82: Spaghetti Sauce and Sleep Aids May 11, 2018

After last week's jarring, disturbing sex issue, goop is back doing what it does best: crazy diets, untested medicine, and useless travel guides. Aggie and Bryan open with a glimpse into their own health journeys and then talk about the latest newsletters, touching on autoimmune diets, California roadtrips, erotic chicken parm, sketchy sleep aid potions, working from home, bubbly negronis, and Gwyneth's newest face oil. It's a jam packed Goop Yourself, enjoy!

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Ep. 81: The Unsexiest Sex Book (NSFW) May 04, 2018

It's that time of year we here at Goop Yourself dread - the annual goop sex issue! This time they wrote a book and published it right in time for Mother's Day for some reason. If you're not throwing up yet, listen to Aggie and Bryan talk about long term relationship sex, casual dating sex, sexual addiction, sex retreats, and dildos and buttplugs galore.

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Ep. 80: Blythe Danner and BPA Apr 27, 2018

This week goop came out with its "Financial Issue," which is very triggering to both Aggie and Bryan, so the less said about it the better. We try to distract ourselves from our money woes with more Mother's Day gift guides (cbd chocolates and cheap jewelery!), rich kids doing Adderall, dirty rose perfume, BPA plastic scares, and an explosive interview with GP's mother, actress Blythe Danner.

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Ep. 79: Mother's Day and Margaritas Apr 20, 2018

Congratulations to Aggie who has finally finished her month of Whole 30! Congratulations also to Bryan who has read most of Steven Gundry's indefensible "The Plant Paradox" without lighting himself on fire. We discuss both personal journeys before launching into the newsletter. This week's topics include a daffy Mother's Day gift guide for eccentric billionaires, an earnest kids' screentime strategy, a less than sexy Gwyneth margarita video, and updates from Megan, Jean, and Anne. Peace and love.

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Ep. 78: Megan's Miracle Balm and Memorable Moments (w/Heather Jewett) Apr 13, 2018

We join special guest, comedian Heather Jewett, who talks about Whole 30, Eckhart Tolle, and her hilarious new webseries "Healing With Heather." We also discuss Megan's painful accident, Jean's honey obsession, the power of moments, the boredom of inflammation, and Dr. Stephen "Lectin Queen" Gundry, whose soothing voice and unwavering confidence masks the insane theory that plants are trying to kill us. Though Aggie is incredulous, Bryan and Heather are ready to jump on board. Follow Heather at @bimbosummit on twitter!

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Ep. 77: Hot Lattés and Hot Flashes Apr 06, 2018

This week's goop is all about menopause and Aggie really doesn't want to talk about it. So instead we discuss all sorts of morning tonics: rose lattés, bitter cacao coffee substitutes, raw pumpkin smoothies, and of course the omnipresent goopglow. We also cover denim jumpsuits, the GMO conspiracy, and update you on Bryan's Tollé journey and Aggie's Whole 30 transformation.

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Ep. 76: Foam Rollers and the Fat Jewish Mar 30, 2018

Before we get into the newsletters we talk all about Beyoncé's face biting incident and how Gwyneth might be involved. Then we discuss medical intuitives, sexy feng shui sheets, Fat Jewish carbonara, foam rollers, Amanda Chantal Bacon's smoothies, weekly grocery lists, and a modern take on the odor masking "pocket full of posies." Plus updates on Aggie's Whole 30 and Bryan's Ekhart Tolle journeys. The mind is a trap!

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Ep. 75: Whispered Snacks and Eye Health Facts Mar 25, 2018

On this special Sunday pod, Aggie makes a huge diet announcement and Bryan is slightly underwhelmed by his new facewash. We also touch briefly on the (other) Goop podcast's interview with Psychiatrist Catherine Birndorf, M.D. Then we get to the newsletters: Megan likes ashawaghanda, Jean likes foot cream, everyone likes underwater photography and Eckhart Tolle, and nobody likes bad food photography.

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Ep. 74: Face Firming and Fake Fasting Mar 16, 2018

How the mighty (podcast) has fallen. The other goop pod follows its epic Oprah episode with a snoozy conversation about the thyroid. Is this the new normal? We fear that it is. Luckily, on OUR pod we talk face yoga, a new improved B vitamin, train commuting in LA, and a sexy Mediterranean diet prescribed by a sexy Mediterranean man. Also, Bryan buys a new face wash and Aggie wants to buy a beach condo!

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Ep. 73: With Special Guest Ooprah Wunfrye!! Mar 10, 2018

Well we are officially THE OTHER GOOP PODCAST, congratulations to us? Of course we spend time discussing the big news, breaking down Gwyneth's EPIC interview with Oprah. But newsletters were published too (GP has no idea) so we talk Jean, Megan, Moab, Sedona, room spray, pomegranate soup, cancerous water, and the world's most boring morning routine. You get a podcast, YOU get a podcast, EVERYBODY gets a podcast! Please visit maed.co eventually.

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Ep. 72: Cubanos and Chiropractors Mar 02, 2018

We're savoring our last few days as the most successful and important goop related podcast by talking about what else, gut health. Do you want to save three days worth of bowel movements? We know someone who wants to take a look! We also discuss eye cream, rose water spray, Cuban sandwiches, and how stress affects the old mitochondria. Thank you for downloading our Wellness Research Content!

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Ep. 71: Mitochondria and Mind-Body Healing Feb 23, 2018

This week we go deep into the scientific weeds and learn all about mitochondria, the power plants of the cells. Did you know you need to buy $60 supplements to make full use out of the little guys? Thankfully GOOP sets us straight. We also discuss boring breakfast recipes, placebo effects, glove compartment essentials, eucolyptus oil dangers, and The Four Tendencies. If you are looking for the official GOOP podcast, it doesn't exist yet so listen to ours instead!

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Ep. 70: Meditation and Mushrooms Feb 18, 2018

On this week's Goop Yourself we discuss an insane alternative private school in Brooklyn, a hot concealer Aggie can't stop thinking about, and why breathing for 90 seconds might save all of our lives. We disagree about the merits of shredding root vegetables, but come together to denounce the idea of mushrooms in hot cocoa. Please tell your friends about the show and rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Asante!

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Ep. 69: The Anti-Valentine's Day Depression Spectacular Feb 09, 2018

Goop goes dark on this holiday for lovers - publishing articles on coparenting after divorce, ending friendships, and relationship advice from dead people. We also discuss Galentine's day cocktails, Jen Gunter's In Goop Health field trip, $600 peasant skirts, Megan's nighttime routine, and John Legend's chicken wings. Plus, Gwyneth sings for us! Please tell your goopy friends about our pod and rate and review us on Apple Pod. Gamsahamnida!

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Ep. 68: Vegan Thoughts and Broccoli Tots Feb 02, 2018

This week Bryan calls in from Lake Tahoe, where he feels lost without Gwyneth's travel recommendations. You're failing us G-Spotting! Aggie and Bryan discuss veganism, PMS shaming, diet myths, morning routines, and tater tots made out of broccoli! Also, GOOP finally discovers Lady Bird, Planet Earth II, and RX Bars. What is this, October? Please rate us 5 stars and review us on Apple Podcasts. Halleloo!

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Ep. 67: Crystals, Cuddling, and Colbert Jan 26, 2018

Before diving into the newsletters, we talk frankly about the national tragedy that was Gwyneth's appearance on the The Late Show last night. It was shocking and sad for everyone involved. Then it’s on to crystal water bottles, basic coffee mugs, allergic children, and Jenna Lyons's inappropriate nudity. Please rate and review us five stars on Apple Podcasts.

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Ep. 66: Special Magazine Pod (Sex & Love Edition) Jan 22, 2018

We come to you on a Monday morning for an extra pod dissecting the GOOP Magazine Sex & Love issue (the one where Brad Falchuck shares the cover with his goopy betrothed, some jeans and a couple of plain white tees.) We discuss love potions, seduction recipes, vagina flowers, and the dark cloud of gloom that is Esther Perel. Save your $14.99 get all your goop magazine needs met right here. Ashwaghanda!

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Ep. 65: Gwyneth Palchuck Jan 19, 2018

This week goop's hitting the bong pretty hard. There's an incomprehensible article about THE HUMAN MIND and a riveting story about Jean going to a sound bath in the Hamptons. Plus, we think Gwyneth might have been indoctrinated into a cult run by her soon to be sister-in-law. Time will tell. We also discuss cheap wine, pink jumpsuits, napa cabbage recipes, and Scientology aprons. The Goop Magazine Issue 2 pod will drop on Monday! God bless.

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Ep. 64: Engagements and Enemas Jan 12, 2018

We're back!! After a winter hiatus, Aggie and Bryan return with a double length pod to talk about all the goop news you missed over the New Year. We discuss Gwyneth's engagement, detox options, flame retardants, cheek tints, and happiness diets. Yes, we also (briefly) discuss the coffee enema. Please rate us five stars and review us on Apple Podcasts. Auld Lang Syne!

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Ep. 63: A Star Is Born Dec 15, 2017

On what might be Aggie and Bryan's final pod before the Christmas break, we discuss hangover relief options, a guide to Orange County, $400 travel dresses, dreams of Malibu, and a truly insane last minute gift guide. But the week belongs to goop's new Senior Beauty Editor, Megan, who publishes her morning routine and shoots to the top of our list of all time goop icons. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Feliz Navidad!

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Ep. 62: I Love You Goopy Dec 08, 2017

The goop newsletters are extremely abbreviated and disappointing so Aggie and Bryan review this fall's two hottest movies, Woody Allen's "Wonder Wheel" and Louis C.K.'s "I Love You Daddy." We do finally get to goop, touching down on modeling with your children, Hannukah recipes, martinis, pops of color, and sad smoothies. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Blessings!

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Ep. 61: Female Breadwinners and Fake AIDS Dec 03, 2017

Aggie and Bryan return to the pod after a glorious Thanksgiving. We discuss why men are assholes for wanting to make more money than their wives, and why mothers are assholes for telling their daughters their teeth are "tarnished." We also address the controversy surrounding the new Goop Health Summit, who Dr. Kelly Brogan is, and why Dr. Jen Gunter wants to take her down. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod. Please rate and review us on Apple Pod. Joyeux Fetes!

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Ep. 60: Merry Goopmas and Happy Goopmukkah! Nov 17, 2017

Yes it's that time again, the Annual Goop Gift Guide! We cover everything, from antique canoes and feathered sex rings to pet psychics and homeless marathon runners. Whether your kid wants a wooden jump rope or a $9500 bar cart, look no further than Gwyneth Paltrow's sick little mind. This holiday season go to Goop Yourself for all your gifting needs. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Ep. 59: Van Cleef and Vinegar Nov 12, 2017

This episode we talk about sleep strategies and why unplugging before bed seems impossible. Bryan recounts his initial trip into the world of retinol and Aggie debates whether to go on a high carb sweet potato diet. We also discuss diamond company sponsered art classes for little girls, clean hair dye, drinking apple cider vinegar, veggie side dishes, and Louis CK's disgusting new movie. Be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod.

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Ep. 58: Beauty Sleep and Belly Fat Nov 03, 2017

This week we talk about sleep. How do we do it, why do we need it, and what drugs we need to take to get there. Goop delves into drastic weight loss solutions, fall floral prints, how women can stay creative AND find love, and pressure cooker recipes. Thank you for your patience as we address our audio issues! Be sure to follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyourselfpod on twitter.

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Ep. 57: Virus + Toxins = Cancer Oct 28, 2017

Wow this episode is long! You're very welcome. We battle on Twitter with a certain "doctor," but he is small potatoes compared with The Medical Medium, who triumphantly returns to goop on the wings of Spirit and insane thyroid cancer advice. We also talk about off-season Hamptons, winter squash, Jean's beauty regime, healing mushrooms, and literary novels. Follow us on instagram @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Spirit says: Thank you!

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Ep. 56: Lip Stain and Leaf Peeping Oct 21, 2017

It's Saturday and we're drinking wine! We talk retinol, fall foliage, lip stains, and SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth.) We include harrowing audio footage from Jules Blaine Davis, a kitchen "healer" who thinks she invented the concept of snacking. We also debate the 1998 Best Actress Race and share our thoughts on the Marvel Universe. Follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter and don't forget to rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcast. We promise to read your reviews next week!

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Ep. 55: Wild Yeast and the Weinstein Beast Oct 13, 2017

For once, Gwyneth makes some non-Goop related news, but unfortunately it has to do with the monster Harvey Weinstein. Besides ripping the scab off of Hollywood's systemic misogyny we talk about empathy overdoses, infidelity coping strategies, sourdough bread baking, and apps that help you organize your life. Please make sure to follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Thanks for listening!

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Ep. 54: Plastic Straw and Sugar Raw Oct 06, 2017

This week we take you on a magical journey to the Goop Lab in the Brentwood Country Mart, where one can try all the expensive lotions they can't afford and watch rich people act like their true monster selves. We also learn how terrible plastic straws are, how chiropractors probably shouldn't be diagnosing autoimmune diseases, and how a new sugar subsitute will be taking the world by storm. Plus diet updates, face oil reviews, and a special cameo by BB the dog. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod Woof woof!

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Ep. 53: Different Fast and Wines On Blast Sep 30, 2017

Huge news! Bryan and Aggie are switching up their fasting protocol. How? Why? Listen and find out. We also discuss the insanity of keto diets, goop's disappointing wine partnership, Gwyneth's pity/bitchy interview face, and the twin tragedies of scar tissue and natural childbirth. Please continue to rate and review us 5 stars and follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Dhanyavaad!

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Ep. 52: We Believe In Everything Sep 22, 2017

This week's goop is all about dead people - talking to them, understanding them, and becoming them yourself. Aggie and Bryan go though the ringer (mediums, near death experiences, psychics) and realize we believe it all, every word of it. Thanks goop! We also touch on fancy baths, at home workouts, and pyramid scheme charities. EDIT: APPARENTLY A GHOST IS HAUNTING US - PLEASE EXCUSE THE SOUND ISSUES ON THIS EPISODE. IT GETS BETTER AT ABOUT 16 MINUTES. WE'LL TRY TO FIX IF POSSIBLE! Please follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod and rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts. See you later!

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Ep. 51: Magazine Bonanza Bonus Episode Sep 19, 2017

We get deep into Goop Magazine Issue One Fall 2017. It's a real paper object that you can flip through! We talk Bento Boxes, Racist Travel To India, Cool Fonts, Kitchen Healers, Reiki, Grief Getaways, and more. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and on twitter @goopyourselfpod. God is good!!!

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Ep. 50: Goop Yourself Diamond Jubilee!!! Sep 15, 2017

Guys, we made it to episode 50! This week we celebrate ourselves, as well as Goop's magazine launch and expansion into retail. We talk Vitamin C, poop samples, Lake Tahoe, face brushing, and mini trampolines you bring to work! Plus diet updates and Canadian reviews. Please follow us on inst @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Thanks, eh!!

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Ep. 49: A Twist of Lyme Sep 08, 2017

This week goop is all about Chronic Lyme Disease. You know, that dehabilitating condition caused by tick bites that may or may not exist. GP and co. give us advice from a sextet of doctors who recommend everything from antibiotics to controlled vomiting and bloodletting. There's also talk of denim trenchcoats, $100 acne masques, and terrible parental advice. Plus, Aggie & Bryan give their diet updates and celebrate the imminent launch of goop's glossy magazine. Please follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Gomawo!

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Ep. 48: Colonoscopies and Cockroach Milk Sep 01, 2017

While the TINA investigation is still in full force, Gwyneth fiddles while goop burns and tries to distract us with tons of content and podcast appearances. We discuss alternative animal milks, expensive acne treatment, colonoscopy prep, parties in the Hamptons, and trends in denim! We also have an intermittent fasting update and read your reviews live! Keep those 5 stars coming, and follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod. Dank je!

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Ep. 47: What's TINA Got To Do With It? Aug 25, 2017

It's been a HUGE week in the Goopiverse. TINA (Truth In Advertising) is recommending Goop to be investigated for harmful and illegal health claims. Can you believe it? Unfortunately, this means the newsletters will be a snooze for the foreseeable future (no more Yoni eggs or earthing.) Aggie and Bryan catch you up on the latest legal news, discuss their fasting strategies, and guide you through a field of avocados, denim, and nontoxic bug spray. Remember to follow on insta @goopyourself, twitter @goopyourselfpod, and rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Спасибо!

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Ep. 46: Gwyneth's Two Top Tools Aug 18, 2017

This week's goop is all about Barry & Phil, two old shrinks who may or may not have sex with each other. They devised "The Tools," tricks that will help you defeat "Part X" and live your best life. Sounds boring? It is! Luckily Aggie & Bryan dive deep into their first fast day, Grace & Frankie, and 90s diet gurus. Thanks for rating and reviewing us on Apple Podcasts, our beloved tomatoes!

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Ep. 45: Spirit Animals and Bedroom Manuals Aug 16, 2017

After another hiatus, Aggie & Bryan are back to catch you up on all things Goop! We discuss spirit animals, childhood sex hangups, liquid eyeliner, and fun salads. We're also way too excited about Apple Ivanka Martin's foray into gluten-free pizza recommendations. Bryan reports back from his brief but goopy sojurn in Reykjavic, and both he and Aggie have a big diet announcement to make. If you like the show, please rate us 5 stars in Apple Podcasts. Pakka pér fyrir!

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Ep. 44: You're Masturbating Like An Asshole Jul 28, 2017

Cover the kids' ears for this one! The goop newsletter is all about desire this week, and GP gets into it. She tells you how to have sex with your partner, a rando, or all by your lonesome. Don't forget to breathe and journal! Bryan and Aggie disagree on if straight men and women can be friends and the pleasures of a Boca burger, but they do agree on one thing, tunics are great! Be sure to rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. Arigato!

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Ep. 43: Upskirt Shots and Salad Thoughts Jul 22, 2017

Aggie & Bryan go on a journey today, touching on everything from cutting edge 80s salads to the literary canon of YA horror author Christopher Pike. We also discuss female anatomy again, so sorry. What is this podcast even about? Oh yeah, Goop. We go into the continuing saga of Gunter V. Paltrow, a new travel guide format, and another winning tip from Ask Jean. Follow us on insta @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod, and rate us 5 big ones on Apple Podcasts. Gracias!

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Ep. 42: Gwyneth Fights Back Jul 17, 2017

And we're back! After a three week hiatus, Aggie and Bryan have a LOT of goop to cover. We talk everything from cult documentaries to kimchi parties, from beach totes to ancient civilizations. We also discuss goop (and Dr. Steven Gundry's) strongly worded rebuttal to a certain hater (the gynocologist who said jade yoni eggs might be more poisonous than tomatoes.) Can you imagine the nerve! Thanks as always for listening. Be sure to rate us 5 stars and review us on Apple Podcasts, tell your friends, and follow us on instagram and twitter. Grazie mille!

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Ep. 00: The Long Lost Goop Yourself Pilot Episode! Jun 30, 2017

Unfortunately Bryan and Aggie are unable to record a new podcast this week, so we've dug up our very first, never released episode of Goop Yourself from way back in May of 2016. Listen to baby Aggie and baby Bryan talk about pourover coffee and anger management. We also thought describing every outfit sold on Goop would be riveting audio. Live and learn. Stay tuned for a brand new episode next week, and be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. DANKE!

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Ep. 41: Toxic Mold and Tracy's Scold Jun 23, 2017

Aggie and Bryan argue about fanatical excerciser Tracy Anderson. Is she an aspirational goddess or a weird crackpot selling eating disorders and weird protein bars? Probably both. We also discuss how toxic mold poisoning might be prevented by tearing your house apart and following a paleo diet. Plus, $60 vibrational stickers NOT endorsed by NASA, complicated conditioning regimens, and a trip inside Gwyneth's Goop lair. Don't forget to rate us on Apple Podcasts and follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyourselfpod on twitter. BYE BYE.

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Ep. 40: Gwyneth Puts The Hell In Health Jun 17, 2017

Aggie and Bryan report back from (reading about) In Goop Health, the Goop Wellness Summit unleashed on the tragic white ladies of Los Angeles. It's as insane as expected, with aura photography, collagen martinis, and yoni eggs galore. We also talk about the benefits of hypnosis, Jean approved face wipes, $4500 cooking classes, and why we're all drinking water completely wrong. Please rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts, follow us @goopyourself on insta and @goopyourselfpod on twitter, and spread the word about this very important podcast. AU REVOIR.

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Ep. 39: Now Our Clothes Are Killing Us Too! Jun 09, 2017

On this short and sweet episode of Goop Yourself, Aggie and Bryan discuss how toxic cotton is giving flight attendants hives, and the rest of us cancer and autism. We explain why clean risotto is great, why clean 7-layer-dip is tragic, and why Jean Godfrey June is the Sean Spicer of the Goop Administration. We also touch briefly on Gwyneth's truly bizarre appearance on Jimmy Kimmel and give you a taste of what an Aggie/Bryan Costco podcast would be like. Please rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and follow @goopyourself on instagram. GOOD VIBES.

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Ep. 38: Bulletproof Coffee and Presents for Papi Jun 02, 2017

This week Gwyneth forces Bryan and Aggie to confront their personality disorders. But pretty much everyone's a narcissist, right?? We also learn how to safely consume coffee, trust the mystical wisdom of old racist ladies from Laguna Beach, and shop for Father's Day (a $1000 leather ice chest and a copy of On The Road.) If you like the pod, please rate us 5 stars on iTunes and follow us @goopyourself on instagram! WE ARE GRATEFUL.

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Ep. 37: Secret Pornography & Color-strology May 26, 2017

This week goop debuts the most boring sex advice column the world has ever known. This, coupled with a truly basic guide to "colorstrology" makes for a dud of a newsletter. On the plus side, we teach ourselves ESP on our iphones, Aggie delves into the world of mineral sunscreens, and Bryan come out as basket non-binary. Don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes, and follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyoureslfpod on twitter.

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Ep. 36: Matcha Smoothies and Vintage Boobies May 22, 2017

It's wedding season which means spending thousands of dollars on people you used to be friends with and will barely ever see again. But if you read goop you're super rich anyway so who cares! Aggie and Bryan suffer through terrible groomsman and bridesmaid gifts and self-explanatory relationship advice, but come out the other side with another fun detox to plunge into. Please excuse the audio quality, our engineer (Aggie's dog BB) messed up. Follow us on instagram @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod and please rate us 5 stars on itunes! Mahalo.

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Ep. 35: You Can Pry This Egg From My Cold Dead Yoni May 12, 2017

This week Aggie and Bryan discuss goop's passionate defense of their ICONIC yoni egg article from earlier this year. They also talk about terrible Mother's day breakfast ideas, doctors who want to sexually exploit innocent young psychics, and why any kid would want an olive oil bundt cake. Plus, we vow to start wearing more expensive sunscreen. Please follow us @goopyourself on instagram, @goopyourselfpod on twitter, and rate and review us on iTunes. NAMASTE.

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Ep. 34: Siblings and Cellulite May 05, 2017

Oh boy, it's the week before Aggie starts the goop detox and turns her life around! In the newsletter, Gwyneth ponders the burden of being way more rich and successful than her brother. We also discuss the myth of cellulite, the magic of heart math, and the absurdity of fancy baby food. Plus, a bonus interview with Aggie's baby brother Henry Klapper to discuss their truly twisted relationship.

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Ep. 33: What's the DEAL with Human Design?? Apr 30, 2017

HUGE news this week as goop announces a glossy quarterly magazine with Conde Nast, and Aggie & Bryan might have to skip a month of rent in order to subscribe. In the meantime, Gwyneth shills for a straight up cult called Human Design, hawks insane Mother's Day gifts, and has a meatball making contest with noted soulless monster, Jessica Seinfeld. Follow us @goopyourself on instagram!!

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Ep. 32: Peanut Sauce and Pregnancy Apr 21, 2017

Mercury is in retrograde, causing technological mishaps and near-death experiences, so Aggie & Bryan are grateful to be in the safe cocoon that is goop. This week Gwyneth basically makes a sex tape with her favorite Thai chef, and a crazy doctor shames us into a pre-natal detox. We also learn that plants are trying to kill us. Plus, New Age emoji, spring makeup, and a plea for money.

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Ep. 31: She Sells Shiso In The Goop Store Apr 14, 2017

What's that weird leaf holding the wasabi next to your spicy tuna roll? It's shiso, duh... and you're going to want to slather it all over your body because it's now starring in Gwyneth's new perfume! Aggie and Bryan dissect the new scent - but they would rather talk about fast food, Malibu, and fast food on the way to Malibu. Plus, LA's favorite astrological psychologist teaches us to grieve, and we learn how to add algae to all our favorite beverages. This episode is sponsered by Jack In The Box and Lassen's, LA's most homophobic health food store (we wish.)

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Ep. 30: You Dim Sum, You Lose Some Apr 07, 2017

On this episode, Bryan & Aggie talk tarot cards, the benefits of walking barefoot, why gen xers are just as bad as millenials, and $5400 bags designed by the Olsen Twins. They also share the disappointment and humiliation of not being included in Goop's podcast roundup. Plus, a handy dim sum guide!

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Ep. 29: Gwyneth Tells Us To Eat Sh*t Mar 31, 2017

On this episode Aggie and Bryan fear for their lives because Gwyneth convinces them that Advil causes Alzheimers and Zertec causes cancer. The only things that can heal us: apple cider vinegar and fecal implants. Plus, more tips on how to turn your kids into boring nerds, how to prevent your crush from driving you crazy, and how to get drunk at home.

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Ep. 28: Supersized Sex Spectacular!!! (Plus, Bryan's Mom Tries Goop) Mar 24, 2017

Spring is in the air and Gwyneth has fancy dildos on the brain. Yes, it's the annual Goop Sex Issue!!! In this extra long episode we go through all the old chestnuts (lube, porn, sex cults, messenger bags) and try not to get scarred for life. Plus, we have a very special boots on the ground interview with Joanne Rucker, Bryan's mom and a first time Goop customer. Will she be a clean beauty convert, or cling to her toxic products?

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Ep. 27: Gwynethcare Is Here to Save Us All Mar 17, 2017

Gwyneth rolls out her comprehensive health care plan, Goop Wellness, and it is a true gamechanger for our country. Everyone is covered for $90 per month! Everything is included except for doctors, prescriptions, ER visits, Western medicine... it's vitamins, little packs of vitamins. We're all going to die very soon.

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Ep. 26: Fungi and Phone Cases Mar 11, 2017

Goop gives us an essential oil primer and Bryan and Aggie are into it. Things they're not into: childish phonecases, unflattering jump suits and cringeworthy TED Talks. We can all agree - TED Talks are the worst. Plus - Gwyneth poses on a swing, and Aggie gives us an exclusive glimpse into Ask Jean's past.

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Ep. 25: Anti Aging and Sexist Shaming w/ Jeff Hiller Mar 04, 2017

Hilarious actor and writer Jeff Hiller (Nightcap, 30 Rock) shares his intimate stories of working with Gwyneth after we ply him with Trader Joe's Rosé. Then we discuss the week's very depressing newsletter, touching on addiction and codependency, Alzheimer's prevention, sexism in the workplace, and $1500 caftans! FLOSS OR DIE.

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Ep. 24: Crock Pots and Chocolates Feb 24, 2017

This week we discover Gwyneth doesn't know how to use a pressure cooker, but some women are so damaged they're scared to even go near the kitchen. The solution: talk to some crazy lady in Pasadena who will tell you to slice a banana and DANCE. Also, why chocolate is a vitamin, why addictions are like imaginary friends, and why do we keep listening to what these clearly insane people have to say? Help.

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Ep. 23: Frenemies and Vitamin D Feb 17, 2017

Gwyneth teaches us how to throw an Oscar party inspired by classic Hollywood, i.e. the late 90s. We also discuss taking Vitamin D by the fistful, learn how to prevent face oil from exploding en route to Tahiti, and discover that feeling empathy is the biggest indicator of personal failure.

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Ep. 22: Vegan Racists and Snowy Places Feb 10, 2017

After Gwyneth's political rant last week, she retreats to the snowy cocoon of Park City and white privilege. Bryan and Aggie loathe the concept behind 'Thug Kitchen,' but they'd still try their cocktails. And will Valentine's day never end? Not until Goop dives into the psychological astrology of long term relationships and tries to convince us avocados are aphrodisiacs - because of their shape (an oval with a hole in it) and texture (gooey baby shit.) Whatever floats your boat GP.

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Ep. 21: Liberals and Lingerie Feb 03, 2017

Gwyneth finally gets WOKE in a strongly worded letter about diversity and inclusion, and Bryan and Aggie have very different takes. She continues her foray into radical feminism by burning her bras (because she's sad about an ex-boyfriend.) Oh well, small steps. We also learn how to layer in winter and plan our own deaths.

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Ep. 20: Iodine and Valentines Jan 27, 2017

Valentine's Day comes earlier and earlier every year, so get ready for bunny ears, feather dusters, and a million types of body oil. After Bryan and Aggie finish vomiting, they talk about Danielle Steel books, tattoo removal, and what a Medical Medium really does. Meanwhile, Gwyneth continues her Red State listening tour by going to Milwaukee, Philly, and Memphis.

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Ep. 19: Sage Protections and Yeast Infections Jan 22, 2017

This week, Aggie and Bryan learn what smudging is and get really excited about it. They also find out that everyone is full of toxic yeast caused by being fat slobs, and debate the merits of buying foam rollers, trampolines, and floral tinctures that help with self-esteem and baby making. Plus, is Gwyneth trying to sabatoge the podcast by not delivering the Monday newsletter to Aggie?? Probably not.

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Ep. 18: Hallucinogens and Honeymoons Jan 16, 2017

On this honeymoon edition of Goop Yourself, Bryan and Aggie discuss eggs that go in your yoni, extreme hallucinogens, and the mysterious lack of Hawaiian locations on G. Spotting.

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Ep. 17: New Years Detox Extravaganza! Jan 06, 2017

It's a brand new year, and if you're a Goophead you know what that means: self-flagellation and restrictive dieting!!! Aggie and Bryan discuss lattes that aren't lattes, mystical orbs you can buy at Staples, and what to do with all that miso clogging up your fridge. Plus, everyone has parasites!

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Ep. 16: Dutch Babies and Deodorant Dec 31, 2016

On the final Goop Yourself of the year, Bryan and Aggie discuss the stupidity of cooking with children, makeup artists who ride the bus, and shamen who've died and come back to life. They're also fully on Team Jean. Happy New Year!

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Ep. 15: Kegel Application and Toxic Lubrication Dec 23, 2016

On this very special Goop Yourself, Aggie and Bryan reexamine Gwyneth's infamous sex issue from earlier this year. We talk female orgasms, pelvic floor exercises, golden dildos and Bernie Sanders. May your holidays be goopy and bright!!

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Ep. 14: Climate Change & Cannabis Dec 16, 2016

On this gloomy Goop Yourself, Aggie wants to maybe try pot again, and Bryan definitely wants to get a room at the Ritz in Paris. Gwyneth puts as much effort into Volume 2 of 'this & that' as the new administration is going to put into combatting climate change.

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Ep. 13: Horny Gwyneth Hungry Gwyneth Dec 09, 2016

Aggie and Bryan are joined by special guest Michelle Markowitz to discuss Gwyneth's love for terrible tacos, holiday outfits, and sex sex sex. Also, we report back from our journey to the Brentwood Country Mart where we finally smelled "THE CANDLE."

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Ep. 12: Fragrant Candles and Foster Campbell Dec 02, 2016

Bryan and Aggie struggle to find much good in this week's newsletters, but we take solace in essential oils, black pants, gluten-free cookies, and a Louisiana senate candidate that believes in climate change. Gwyneth and Jean keep hawking their candle, but won't let us smell before we buy.

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Ep. 11: Travel Wraps and Travel Apps Nov 25, 2016

Goop Yourself's first bi-coastal episode! Bryan calls in from the wilds of New Jersey, and Gwyneth puts her foot in her mouth for the 1000th time. Aggie and Bryan disagree on practicing gratitude, but are on the same page when it comes to the power of crystals. Please excuse the less than perfect audio - we'll both be back in the studio next week!

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Ep. 10: Dungeons and Detroit Nov 18, 2016

This week Bryan and Aggie get VERY political, talking about the state of the country and tables with pictures of butts. Gwyneth launches a perfume, but you're not allowed to smell it.

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Ep. 9: Walt Whitman and Moroccan Chicken Nov 11, 2016

This week, we all stare at the ceiling for an hour.

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Ep. 8: Pots and Pajamas Nov 04, 2016

This week, Gwyneth relaxes into November with a new goop label collection, reconnects with her (alleged) old flame Mario Batali, and surrenders into the shitstorm we call life. Plus, Bryan gets emotional about food deserts.

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Ep. 7: Brisket & Bereavement Oct 28, 2016

Aggie & Bryan check out Gwyneth's favorite BBQ joint, learn about adaptogens, and accuse Gwyneth of being a secret smoker.

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Ep. 6: Makeup & Magic Oct 21, 2016

This spoooooky newsletter has Gwyneth grappling with astrology for teenagers, magic potions for her employees, and lipstick for everyone! Bryan & Aggie accuse a grief-stricken doctor of being a psychopathic murderer.

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