Good Dads Podcast

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E523 | From the Archive | Transitions Abound with Blended Families - with Dana and Christina Ford Feb 27, 2024

Show notes

Dana and Christina Ford have a full house with a teenager, elementary schoolers and preschoolers. Join us for a conversation originally recorded in 2021 with the Fords as the blended family navigates the important transitions inherent in father-son relationships as Dana entered his step-son's life when he was 8 years old. Dana and Christina give advice for step-parents and differentiate their approaches to parenting versus step-parenting. We also talk about the first-baby nerves, anticipating your partner's needs and raising un-selfish children.

Our Guests: Husband and Wife Dana and Christina Ford

Christina Ford is the president and founder of Rebound Foundation, a nonprofit whose mission is to end the cycle of abuse through safe transitional housing for women and children, and educating youth to prevent violence.

Dana Ford has been the men's head baseketball coach at Missouri State University since 2018. He transitioned from Bachelor to Husband and to Father quickly.

The Fords are parents to five, and one in Heaven.

Show Notes

(8:09) I was the single parent for eight years, and I was very independent. I was Mom, and I went to school, and I worked. I was in a very independent role, and my idea of when we were going to come together was, you know, "Was I still going to be this independent force?" I was really keen into that. I was going to have my own thing, my own title ... I didn't have to ask someone else, "How should we do this?" or "What decision should be made?" It was always just me making the decision.
(13:29) We do not parent all of our children the same. Just like I don't coach all my players the same. One of the most important things that you have to learn—is you have to learn your people. That means you have to learn your children individually, same way I do with my players. You have to spend time with them, communicate with them and observe them.
(14:44) If you listen, people will tell you who they are.
(19:31) One of the biggest adjustments was the fact that, due to COVID, there was no support system of Mom, sister, right? I mean, I'm always used to mother-in-law and sister-in-law being there, and them doing the heavy lifting.
(25:50) If you want to conquer something you have to stay united, but we (as parents) conquer by dividing sometimes.
(27:42) So many (us) can get selfish, and be about "me, me, me." Hopefully because they see us and come from a larger family (our children grow to) understand that it's not always about you.

Resources

E522 My Baby Contracted RSV – A Parent's Nightmare (with a Happy Ending) | With New Dad Tim Lewis Feb 21, 2024

Show notes

This week we're happy to welcome Tim Lewis to the studio, a first-time dad to a four-month-old. Join us as Tim shares the scary story of when baby Ophelia got sick with RSV around the end of last year. After initially going to Mercy in Springfield, doctors later needed to airlift Ophelia to an ER in Kansas City. Tim also provides his wisdom for new parents and discusses the importance of being on the same page to work collaboratively with your partner.

Our Guest: Tim Lewis

Tim Lewis is a barber by occupation and is a new dad to Ophelia, who was born in September 2023. Tim, his wife, Chelsea, Ophelia and Boone the dog live in Rogersville, MO. For a long time, Tim and Chelsea never imagined wanting kids, but their attitudes changed in their early 40s.

Show Notes

(4:28) My advice to younger people is: If you're not sure, enjoy your youth a little bit. Your freedom is minimized once you have a child.
(6:10) She developed a little bit of a cough, and we just kept an eye on it. And then it was, like, 'Nah, she needs to go do the doctor.' And they basically test kids just like they do for COVID. It's a pretty quick little swab.
(9:33) I wasn't afraid for her life—I really felt she would be okay—but when the flight nurses came in and basically strapped my 13-pound child to a gurney-looking thing and took her away ... Which, my wife was with her, but, you know, it was just terrifying.
(17:55) She's always a pretty happy kid. She really started all that at about three months. But she's also a very impatient, cranky child ... How do you go from grinning at me, and two seconds later you're squalling?!

Resources

E521 | From the Archive | Sleep Habits, Dirty Diapers and Piles of Laundry | With Brian Mattson and Drew Dilisio Feb 14, 2024

Show notes

This week, we bring you a podcast episode from the Good Dads archive. Originally recorded in 2019, our guests, Brian and Drew, discuss the challenges and rewards of new parenthood. New dads will relate to big changes in sleep habits, working collaboratively with the mother of your child and more than a few dirty diaper horror stories.

Our Guest: Drew Dilisio, LPC

Drew Dilisio is the former director of counseling services at Good Dads. He is a graduate of Evangel University's Clinical Mental Health Counseling program, a husband and father. He is now a Behavioral Health Clinician at Jordan Valley Health Center in Springfield, MO.

Our Guest: Brian Mattson

Brian Mattson is the associate pastor at the Downtown Church in Springfield. A father of two now, Brian served on the Good Dads board until 2024.

Show Notes

(4:05) we do a nighttime routine ... we really try to get in a peaceful mood. And my wife will put on some lavender soothing lotion on her while she's singing to her, and we've just stuck to a schedule.

(5:06) every book seems like it's different, with the recommendations and the best practices, so we would do one for a month with no results ... (and we'd say) "let's tweak this little thing," and then we'd do that for three weeks.

(8:08) For someone who's only drinking milk, it's incredible what comes out the other side (in her diaper). I'd say that's pretty gross.

(10:11) As you're changing the dirty diaper, she smiles at you—in the eye, she locks eyes, smiles — and proceeds to have another ... "elimination" as you're hurriedly trying to put on a clean diaper.

Resources

E520 Child-Rearing as a Team Event | With Dr. Sarah Jean Baker Feb 06, 2024

Show notes

This week on the podcast we welcome Dr. Sarah Jean Baker, Dr. Jennifer Baker's daughter-in-law, to speak on how children learn. We also talk about how babies can become attached to both Dad and Mom using the skin-to-skin contact technique, the importance of paternal leave, and the best ways to encourage your infant's learning. Join us as we fantasize about a future where both parents can rely on paid leave!

Our Guest: Dr Sarah Jean Baker

Sarah Jean Baker (PhD) is an Assistant Professor in the Early Childhood Program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education at Missouri State University. She earned her PhD in School Improvement from Texas State University. She has experience working in public schools as an early childhood teacher- teaching kindergarten and first grade, as well as leading schools as a school leader. Her research interests include teacher preparation and teacher development for social justice and culturally sustaining pedagogy, early childhood education, and women's issues in schools. She is a proud mama to four children and often finds her greatest joys and struggles in her mama identity.

Show Notes:

(5:53) One of the things that dads can and should do is act as much like the primary caregiver as we often think about mothers being the primary caregiver—so, meaning you're changing diapers, you're doing feedings...
(8:07) Minor and I, my husband, would encourage dads to do is to take time off of work when you have a baby. It was financially possible for us to do that when we had our twins, although I think we could have made it work. We did it with our youngest ... who is now eight, and we both think back on those 12 weeks with her as just some of the best times.
(14:13) Just a reminder: You're not "babysitting" when it's your kid.
(14:55) Sometimes Minor does things differently than how I would do things, and I had to just let go of that a realize that it's okay. Like, he might put on a different outfit than I would want the kids in, or maybe even put the diaper on a little bit differently than I would want, but at the end of the day, the diaper still worked; they were still warm. I didn't need to micromanage. I had to let go of that and kind of let go of some of those expectations ... It's not about control.

Resources

E519 Cultivating Friendships, Resilience and Being Supportive for Dads-to-be | With Dr. Shelby Smith Jan 31, 2024

Show notes

This week on the Good Dads podcast, we welcome back Dr. Smith, a family care physician at Equality Healthcare in Springfied, MO. Dr. Smith shares his wisdom on supporting your pregnant partner, breaking the stigma on male post-partum depression, and practicing grace and understanding between Mom and Dad.

Part of the joy of treating families means Dr. Smith can treat lots of different people, including pregnant couples. In his practice, he always asks dads-to-be open-ended questions, inviting them to embrace the changes that come with a new baby.

Dr Smith's Tips for Dads-to-Be

Embrace the changes that come with a new baby
Give your partner grace and understanding
Ask what you can do to be supportive
Take time off work to bond with the new baby

Show Notes

(6:44) We started to see more studies about depression in men in the first year post-partum ... it's about 10% of men (who)will have clinical depression in that first year.
(7:18) (Patients say) "I feel like I should be happy, but I'm having these feelings." So I think saying, "You know, we have information out there, studies that show this is a real thing, so you don't need to feel guilty about this. It's a drastic change."
(9:50) Realizing that it is a stage of life. It's a phase. It's difficult, but it is a phase, and it will pass. And also it is something that is learned. I mean, the more that you spend time with the child and then get a better sense of what you're doing.
(12:13) A woman is growing a human inside of her body! ... It is a very big deal. With that goes enormous physical changes, hormonal changes.
(15:33) Support, support, support. Ask what you can do. Be gracious. Understand that your partner is growing a human being and the level and grace and understanding that should bestow."
(22:53) We are very fotunate in Springfield to have the Doula Foundation ... Doulas are community-based people—women—who help couples through pregancy ... through the whole process ... A doula is there to provide informational support, emotional support, physical support, during the pregnancy and childbirth ... I really would seek out doula services, especially for men.

Gooddads.com

The Doula Foundation

E518 How Dads can Help During the Pregnancy Process | With Lisa McIntire Jan 24, 2024

Show notes

Lisa McIntire, Executive Director at Pregnancy Care Center, talks about helping the "whole" family and how dads can help during the pregnancy process.

Our Guest: Lisa McIntire

Lisa McIntire currently serves as Executive Director of Pregnancy Care Center, where they equip about 500 expectant dads each year for the joys and rigors of fatherhood. Her passion for supporting dads is borne out of her personal experience as the child of a teenage father and then later marrying a single dad with a 7-year-old son.

Show Notes

"How I got interested in what I'm doing for work, kind of starts before I was born." (2:40)
"When I see what education and support can do for dads, it makes me all the more passionate about it." (4:40)
"Women and children are just more vulnerable when there isn't a positive dad, or man, in the home." (8:34)
"We still do offer the coaching after the baby is born, typically until the child is 4 to 6 months because we do know that is a very overwhelming time." (14:43)

Resources

Pregnancy Care Center

E517 How to Support Women Throughout Pregnancy | With WIC Nutritionist Tommy Boyce Jan 17, 2024

Show notes

Tommy Boyce, a WIC Nutritionist, talks about what dads can do to help and support women throughout pregnancy. "WIC" stands for "Women, Infants, and Children."

Our Guest: Tommy Boyce

Tommy has been married to his wife, Cassandra, for 10 years, and they have a wonderful 5-year-old boy named Sullivan. Tommy graduated from UCM with a degree in dietetics and Logan University with a Masters in Sports Nutrition. He has been a Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) Nutritionaist across the sate of Missiouri and has been with the Springfield-Greene County WIC office for 8 years. Tommy enjoys excersising, anything related to Star Wars and he is a Die Hard Chiefs fan!

Show Notes

"...dads aren't involved, in the name of it at least (WIC), but that's far from the truth when it comes to their partner having a preganancy and when it comes to having a child." (3:30)
"When new parents come to WIC, are you one of the first people they come to meet with?" (10:12)
"What are some of the best parts of your job, and what are the worst parts?" 15:38
"What can dads do? So, lets say mom is-- first of all he could be supportive of breast feeding-- but lets say it [breast feeding] goes well, what can he do? And what if it [breast feeding] does not go well? What can he do?" (18:48)
"Why is it important that Dad also learns to eat well during that period [of pregnancy]?" (21:34)
"You have an important role to play, in not only for your partner, for their pregnancy, but for the outcome of the pregnancy as well." (24:32)

Resources:

Springfield-Greene County WIC

E516 Navigating Parenthood with Four Kids, Including Twins Jan 11, 2024

Show notes

Summary:

This week we welcome husband and wife Minor and Sarah Baker, both professors at Missouri State University in the Elementary and Early Childhood Education program. They talk about having a total of four children and twins as their second and third. Their experience was a blur, but both worked together as a team in a challenging season of life.

Minor Baker (PhD):

Minor is an Assistant Professor in the Elementary Education program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education. He has been at Missouri State since the fall of 2018. A native midwesterner who has spent time in Texas, Minnesota, and now Missouri. His research interests include school and community interactions, culturally sustaining supervision, and alternative interpretations of school leadership.

Sarah Jean Baker (PhD): Sarah is an Assistant Professor in the Early Childhood Program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education at Missouri State University. She earned her PhD in School Improvement from Texas State University. She has experience working in public schools as an early childhood teacher- teaching kindergarten and first grade, as well as leading schools as a school leader. Her research interests include teacher preparation and teacher development for social justice and culturally sustaining pedagogy, early childhood education, and women's issues in schools. She is a proud mama to four children and often finds her greatest joys and struggles in her mama identity. Show Notes:

"The technician told us, 'Well they both look great.' Minor and I looked at each other ... What do you mean both? She said, 'Oh my gosh, you didn't know you were having twins? Look, here!'" (3:15)
"Was your largest concern fincances, or ... what are you thinking about when you realize you are suddenly going to be a dad of three?" (10:25)
"It feels like it must have been a blur?" "Yeah, people ask what it's like to have twins, and I go, 'oh I don't know."' (13:10)
"We always had the twins on the same schedule... So I don't remember that part being stressful, but you do get sleep deprived." (18:10)
"This whole podcast [episode] is to help other parents with twins or three kids, four kids, and it's like, 'we just kinda got through it and we don't even remember.'" (21:03)
"High schoolers and middle schoolers at the same time... zero out of ten, I do not recommend." (24:40)

Resources: