Good Dads Podcast

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E530 Parent Involvement in Sports - Part One Jun 20, 2024

Frank Tristan, head football coach at Glendale High School, father, and husband, talks about the balance of being a coach and a parent in this Part One episode.

Frank has been teaching and coaching for the last 20 years and loves the opportunity to invest in young people. He and his wife Natalie were married in 2008 and have two children, Hays and Taylor. They are regularly involved in church and love experiencing new adventures with their family. As a dad and an educator, it is easy to see how important the role of a father is in raising successful young people. When dads lead well, generations are impacted. This passion has led Frank to work with the Good Dads organization to see more families and communities impacted for good.

Show Notes

(1:32) Parents are great, they are. Most of them just want their kid to be successful.

(4:26) What my kids respond to is giving them honest praise on things they can control.

(5:05) I just tell my kids that “if you want to stop playing sports now, I still love you.”

(10:05) The thing you can control is your effort and attitude, so that’s how I’m gonna judge if I’m proud of you or not.

(12:47) You’re not gonna bash your coach in front of me… that’s not good for the team, and you’re not gonna bash other teammates.

(13:07) The best thing a parent can do is tell the coach “thank you.”

(15:30): One of the things I think is always important as a coach to parent/parent to coach is talk about it in person.

(22:25): If you’re not sleeping on a regular basis, your body’s out of whack, you’re not gonna reach your full potential…your body’s gonna wear down.

Resources

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E529 Kids and Sports with Coach Frank Tristan Jun 12, 2024

Frank Tristan, head football coach at Glendale High School, husband, and father, talks about the rewarding aspects of coaching and his "ABC" technique (Ask, Balance, and Competitive).

Frank has been teaching and coaching for the last 20 years and loves the opportunity to invest in young people. He and his wife Natalie were married in 2008 and have two children, Hays and Taylor. They are regularly involved in church and love experiencing new adventures with their family. As a dad and an educator, it is easy to see how important the role of a father is in raising successful young people. When dads lead well, generations are impacted. This passion has led Frank to work with the Good Dads organization to see more families and communities impacted for good.

Show Notes

(1:16) Guest Introduction

(3:00) In high school and college both my coaches were influential. My dad was obviously so important, but those guys cemented who I wanted to be in life, and I was like ‘Man, I could do that, that would be awesome and rewarding.’

(5:22) Definitely the homerun I think in coaching or any coach would say that kid that maybe doesn’t have the support at home and you connect with him and you see him develop. That’s been the most rewarding.

(8:43) It’s the growing pain you have as a parent, the same thing. You want those kids to do so well, like “What are you thinking?”

(9:10) At the end of the day, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Once you’ve done it a little bit with some length to it, you realize ‘it’ll all work out.’ We just have to be consistent.

(10:04) ‘A’ stands for ‘Ask.’ We just ask our kids…

(11:36) ‘B’ stands for ‘Balance.’ We want to keep balance in it…

(12:50) ‘C’ stands for ‘Competitive.’ … If you’re going to do something, you’ve gotta be your best… you’ve gotta work hard and want to compete.

(16:21) One of the things I’m working at, but my wife is very good at, is the ability to say no

(19:00) You’d better be in it for the kids, because that’s gonna be a lot more rewarding than just “hey, I want to win a game."

(22:07) I think it’s so important that kids understand their identity is not in a sport, and that’s a scary thing when kids get wrapped up in only their approval of how good they can hit a baseball or kick a soccer ball or spike a volleyball. That gets really dangerous.

(23:53) That’s why sports are so great, you have so many great qualities come from being in a sport. A lot of employers are going to hire employees that have been in sports. They know they can overcome adversity. It’s incredible.

Resources

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E528 Tools for Tantrums - Parenting well with Preschoolers May 29, 2024

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch jump into the third installment on the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children.

Preschool-age children do not have the capacity to regulate their emotions as grown-ups, and some children throw more tantrums than others. One of the best way to avoid the potential meltdown is for dads to give choices: It offers leeway to strong-willed children so they can feel they have some control over their situation. By negotiating and getting down on your child's level, parents can teach their children to manage their behavior. In fact, managing children is far more about teaching parents to manage their own behavior above all else.

Show Notes

(3:08) If you know a tantrum is likely to happen in the grocery store ... where they want something and you're not going to get that thing for them, then I would say, first of all, avoid taking them to the store.
(4:26) Try to forestal those tests of the will, especially the ones that you're going to lose—because you can't make a child chew and swallow.
(7:22) So the worst case-case scenario is to give into this ... Sometimes you know, you're tired or you want them to just be quiet, so you just be like, "Ok, fine, three donuts, just get out of my face."
(10:03) Usually tantrums happen around a particular setting.
(11:32) You gotta understand—we've all had moments when we're not in a good space, and really, we just need a nap and a snack.
(12:58) That's the thing, though. Kids know when you're exhausted. They know! ... They just sense it.

Resources

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E527 | Absorbing and Unfiltered: Leading Preschoolers by Example May 22, 2024

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch talk about the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children.

This period of life is marked by inquisitiveness and unfiltered honesty. It's certainly true that they say the darndest things! These youngsters are at their peak of innocence, but they're also very in tune with potential tensions between Mom and Dad.

Your kids are always watching and listening. They're absorbing what their parents say and do, so we talk about the important ways that dads can lead by example.

Show Notes

(1:35) By the time children are 4 and 5 years old, you can relax a little.
(8:39) That's when you hear parents talking about, "Oh man, it's so hard, and I'm so tired, but it's worth it." And you're like, "Really?" And before, when I didn't have kids, I'm like, "Is it? It doesn't sound worth it."
(9:09) Write down what your kids say. Write down those little moments because later on, you'll want to remember those.
(11:30) Researchers were so surprised to find was that the children (starting Kindergarten) were so much more aware of what was going on in the couple's relationship than the parents thought.
(13:35) Your kids' emotional health is very much tied up in how well you two (the parents) are getting along.
(15:06) By four or five, your child has been observing you for four or five years. They are accustomed to the tone of your voice, the expression on your face. They have a pretty good idea of how you're going to react to certain things. They know you.
(15:31) Being a girl dad, (I'm) making sure I give the example of how I treat her mom. That's how I want her to be treated when she's at the dating age ... Like when I kiss my wife in front of her and she goes, "Ew, that's gross."

Resources

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E526 Being a Good Dad to 4- and 5-Year-Olds May 13, 2024

Are children master manipulators, or just trying to get their way? Is it okay to have night-time snacks? What's a dad to do when his child disobeys, turning on the TV after bedtime? Join us this week with J Fotsch and Dr. Jennifer Baker as we cover common questions for dads of four- and five-year-olds, including bedtimes, sugary snacks, discipline, pretend-crying and more.

Show Notes

(2:14) I try to tell (my daughter) when I know she's fake-crying, or fake-whining. She does that very, very good. I tell her, I say, "Do you know something? I know when you're not really crying—that you're fake crying—and I also know when you're pouting and you're trying to get something. So let's not do that."
(3:38) Many times adults make the mistake of thinking a child thinks the way they do. And they don't! A child (who's) maybe 4 or 5 has very concrete thinking.
(6:08) Let's say that you want a cookie ... There's no reason you shouldn't get that cookie. And you're gonna try to figure out any way that you can to get that cookie. And if something works—and has worked—like crying or whining or begging or whatever, then you're going to do it as long as you can to see if it works.
(7:26) If you reward the behavior that you don't want to see, by giving in, giving the cookie ... then you're likely to see more of that behavior because it worked.
(10:15) When you smile, children know really they've lost the battle. It's like, when we (parents) get angry ... it's like throwing a pebble in a puddle. You got a reaction there. Alright, let's see if I can throw a bigger pebble. Ok, now I really got you going! Look at you, your face is all red.
(13:41) You can't tell a child to sleep. Have you ever tried that? It doesn't work.
(18:42) Most parents could make their lives much easier if they have a routine and they stick to that routine. Kids love routine. They feel safe in routine.

Resources

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E525 Postpartum Depression, Baby Blues and Asking for Help | With Nurse Bre Tyger Mar 13, 2024

We welcome back Bre Tyger, Community Alignment Specialist from Family Connects, a program new to Springfield, MO. We cover the difference between "baby blues" and postpartum depression, and how it affects both Mom and Dad. A phenomenon of ongoing sadness in the days after your bundle of joy arrives is common and normal, but in general medical experts say the "baby blues" might begin to be classified as post-partum depression if the feelings persist beyond 2-3 weeks. Dads can get some form of post-partum depression, too, in as many as 10% of new dads.

CORRECTION: After the recording concluded, Bre asked us to tell our listeners that post-partum depression occurs somewhere between 1 in 5 OR 1 in 3 new moms; that's between 20% and 33%.

Our Guest: Bre Tyger

Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.

Show Notes

(2:21) One thing I have seen commonly (in post-partum women) is difficulty bonding with the baby and attachment. They were so excited to have their baby, so excited when they first had Baby and brought them home, but suddenly they're saying, "I don't feel connected to my baby." They're having a hard time taking care of Baby; maybe they're having a hard time getting out of bed ... or having a hard time getting any good sleep.
(4:38) It can feel like your fault—or like you need to do something to make it better—but post-partum depression is really not your fault. And it's not something that women choose
(9:31) It's a big load for the dad to carry. Dads can feel a pressure of providing for their family. They have the normal pressure of providing for their family but now you wife is struggling, and you have this baby that you don't know what to do with or how to care for. That can be a lot of stress for the dad to carry. Some dads tend to take care of others before themselves, so they can also become sleep deprived; they can also forget to eat meals and those basic things to do to take care of themselves.
(18:14) (Post-partum depression) can occur at any time in the year after Baby is born. That may not always be recognized.

Resources

Family Connects Website

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To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at info@gooddads.com.

E524 The Value of Home Visits for New Parents | With Nurse Bre Tyger Mar 07, 2024

This week on the podcast, we welcome to the studio Bre Tyger, a public health nurse and Community Alignment Specialist with Family Connects, an international program new to the area. Join us as Bre discusses how she helps new parents, observant youngsters, the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) nutritionist program, and encouraging new, first-time dads to be involved in the lives of their infants.

Our Guest: Bre Tyger

Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.

Show Notes

(4:13) As a public health nurse with the health department, we get to see people where they are. We currently go into their homes. We can have real conversations with them ... and meet them where they're at. I think, sometimes in a hospital environment it's kind of hard to see what's going on ... or what you really need.
(9:15) It's hard to connect with dads (during pre-natal and post-partum appointments, when Dad is often at work), and we do really like working with Mom and Dad because both of them are providing support for this family and this infant. Both are an important part in their lives.
(20:57) Nobody really knows how to be a parent before they're a parent. You can do all the preparation, you can take classes, you can see other people doing it. But every baby is different, and every scenario is different ... every experience is unique.

Resources

Family Connects Website

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To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at info@gooddads.com.

E523 | From the Archive | Transitions Abound with Blended Families - with Dana and Christina Ford Feb 27, 2024

Dana and Christina Ford have a full house with a teenager, elementary schoolers and preschoolers. Join us for a conversation originally recorded in 2021 with the Fords as the blended family navigates the important transitions inherent in father-son relationships as Dana entered his step-son's life when he was 8 years old. Dana and Christina give advice for step-parents and differentiate their approaches to parenting versus step-parenting. We also talk about the first-baby nerves, anticipating your partner's needs and raising un-selfish children.

Our Guests: Husband and Wife Dana and Christina Ford

Christina Ford is the president and founder of Rebound Foundation, a nonprofit whose mission is to end the cycle of abuse through safe transitional housing for women and children, and educating youth to prevent violence.

Dana Ford has been the men's head baseketball coach at Missouri State University since 2018. He transitioned from Bachelor to Husband and to Father quickly.

The Fords are parents to five, and one in Heaven.

Show Notes

(8:09) I was the single parent for eight years, and I was very independent. I was Mom, and I went to school, and I worked. I was in a very independent role, and my idea of when we were going to come together was, you know, "Was I still going to be this independent force?" I was really keen into that. I was going to have my own thing, my own title ... I didn't have to ask someone else, "How should we do this?" or "What decision should be made?" It was always just me making the decision.
(13:29) We do not parent all of our children the same. Just like I don't coach all my players the same. One of the most important things that you have to learn—is you have to learn your people. That means you have to learn your children individually, same way I do with my players. You have to spend time with them, communicate with them and observe them.
(14:44) If you listen, people will tell you who they are.
(19:31) One of the biggest adjustments was the fact that, due to COVID, there was no support system of Mom, sister, right? I mean, I'm always used to mother-in-law and sister-in-law being there, and them doing the heavy lifting.
(25:50) If you want to conquer something you have to stay united, but we (as parents) conquer by dividing sometimes.
(27:42) So many (us) can get selfish, and be about "me, me, me." Hopefully because they see us and come from a larger family (our children grow to) understand that it's not always about you.

Resources

E522 My Baby Contracted RSV – A Parent's Nightmare (with a Happy Ending) | With New Dad Tim Lewis Feb 21, 2024

This week we're happy to welcome Tim Lewis to the studio, a first-time dad to a four-month-old. Join us as Tim shares the scary story of when baby Ophelia got sick with RSV around the end of last year. After initially going to Mercy in Springfield, doctors later needed to airlift Ophelia to an ER in Kansas City. Tim also provides his wisdom for new parents and discusses the importance of being on the same page to work collaboratively with your partner.

Our Guest: Tim Lewis

Tim Lewis is a barber by occupation and is a new dad to Ophelia, who was born in September 2023. Tim, his wife, Chelsea, Ophelia and Boone the dog live in Rogersville, MO. For a long time, Tim and Chelsea never imagined wanting kids, but their attitudes changed in their early 40s.

Show Notes

(4:28) My advice to younger people is: If you're not sure, enjoy your youth a little bit. Your freedom is minimized once you have a child.
(6:10) She developed a little bit of a cough, and we just kept an eye on it. And then it was, like, 'Nah, she needs to go do the doctor.' And they basically test kids just like they do for COVID. It's a pretty quick little swab.
(9:33) I wasn't afraid for her life—I really felt she would be okay—but when the flight nurses came in and basically strapped my 13-pound child to a gurney-looking thing and took her away ... Which, my wife was with her, but, you know, it was just terrifying.
(17:55) She's always a pretty happy kid. She really started all that at about three months. But she's also a very impatient, cranky child ... How do you go from grinning at me, and two seconds later you're squalling?!

Resources

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E521 | From the Archive | Sleep Habits, Dirty Diapers and Piles of Laundry | With Brian Mattson and Drew Dilisio Feb 14, 2024

This week, we bring you a podcast episode from the Good Dads archive. Originally recorded in 2019, our guests, Brian and Drew, discuss the challenges and rewards of new parenthood. New dads will relate to big changes in sleep habits, working collaboratively with the mother of your child and more than a few dirty diaper horror stories.

Our Guest: Drew Dilisio, LPC

Drew Dilisio is the former director of counseling services at Good Dads. He is a graduate of Evangel University’s Clinical Mental Health Counseling program, a husband and father. He is now a Behavioral Health Clinician at Jordan Valley Health Center in Springfield, MO.

Our Guest: Brian Mattson

Brian Mattson is the associate pastor at the Downtown Church in Springfield. A father of two now, Brian served on the Good Dads board until 2024.

Show Notes

(4:05) we do a nighttime routine ... we really try to get in a peaceful mood. And my wife will put on some lavender soothing lotion on her while she's singing to her, and we've just stuck to a schedule.

(5:06) every book seems like it's different, with the recommendations and the best practices, so we would do one for a month with no results ... (and we'd say) "let's tweak this little thing," and then we'd do that for three weeks.

(8:08) For someone who's only drinking milk, it's incredible what comes out the other side (in her diaper). I'd say that's pretty gross.

(10:11) As you're changing the dirty diaper, she smiles at you—in the eye, she locks eyes, smiles — and proceeds to have another ... "elimination" as you're hurriedly trying to put on a clean diaper.

Resources

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E520 Child-Rearing as a Team Event | With Dr. Sarah Jean Baker Feb 06, 2024

This week on the podcast we welcome Dr. Sarah Jean Baker, Dr. Jennifer Baker's daughter-in-law, to speak on how children learn. We also talk about how babies can become attached to both Dad and Mom using the skin-to-skin contact technique, the importance of paternal leave, and the best ways to encourage your infant's learning. Join us as we fantasize about a future where both parents can rely on paid leave!

Our Guest: Dr Sarah Jean Baker

Sarah Jean Baker (PhD) is an Assistant Professor in the Early Childhood Program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education at Missouri State University. She earned her PhD in School Improvement from Texas State University. She has experience working in public schools as an early childhood teacher- teaching kindergarten and first grade, as well as leading schools as a school leader. Her research interests include teacher preparation and teacher development for social justice and culturally sustaining pedagogy, early childhood education, and women’s issues in schools. She is a proud mama to four children and often finds her greatest joys and struggles in her mama identity. 

Show Notes:

(5:53) One of the things that dads can and should do is act as much like the primary caregiver as we often think about mothers being the primary caregiver—so, meaning you're changing diapers, you're doing feedings...
(8:07) Minor and I, my husband, would encourage dads to do is to take time off of work when you have a baby. It was financially possible for us to do that when we had our twins, although I think we could have made it work. We did it with our youngest ... who is now eight, and we both think back on those 12 weeks with her as just some of the best times.
(14:13) Just a reminder: You're not "babysitting" when it's your kid.
(14:55) Sometimes Minor does things differently than how I would do things, and I had to just let go of that a realize that it's okay. Like, he might put on a different outfit than I would want the kids in, or maybe even put the diaper on a little bit differently than I would want, but at the end of the day, the diaper still worked; they were still warm. I didn't need to micromanage. I had to let go of that and kind of let go of some of those expectations ... It's not about control.

Resources

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E519 Cultivating Friendships, Resilience and Being Supportive for Dads-to-be | With Dr. Shelby Smith Jan 31, 2024

This week on the Good Dads podcast, we welcome back Dr. Smith, a family care physician at Equality Healthcare in Springfied, MO. Dr. Smith shares his wisdom on supporting your pregnant partner, breaking the stigma on male post-partum depression, and practicing grace and understanding between Mom and Dad.

Part of the joy of treating families means Dr. Smith can treat lots of different people, including pregnant couples. In his practice, he always asks dads-to-be open-ended questions, inviting them to embrace the changes that come with a new baby.

Dr Smith's Tips for Dads-to-Be

Embrace the changes that come with a new baby
Give your partner grace and understanding
Ask what you can do to be supportive
Take time off work to bond with the new baby

Show Notes

(6:44) We started to see more studies about depression in men in the first year post-partum ... it's about 10% of men (who)will have clinical depression in that first year.
(7:18) (Patients say) "I feel like I should be happy, but I'm having these feelings." So I think saying, "You know, we have information out there, studies that show this is a real thing, so you don't need to feel guilty about this. It's a drastic change."
(9:50) Realizing that it is a stage of life. It's a phase. It's difficult, but it is a phase, and it will pass. And also it is something that is learned. I mean, the more that you spend time with the child and then get a better sense of what you're doing.
(12:13) A woman is growing a human inside of her body! ... It is a very big deal. With that goes enormous physical changes, hormonal changes.
(15:33) Support, support, support. Ask what you can do. Be gracious. Understand that your partner is growing a human being and the level and grace and understanding that should bestow."
(22:53) We are very fotunate in Springfield to have the Doula Foundation ... Doulas are community-based people—women—who help couples through pregancy ... through the whole process ... A doula is there to provide informational support, emotional support, physical support, during the pregnancy and childbirth ... I really would seek out doula services, especially for men.

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The Doula Foundation

E518 How Dads can Help During the Pregnancy Process | With Lisa McIntire Jan 24, 2024

Lisa McIntire, Executive Director at Pregnancy Care Center, talks about helping the "whole" family and how dads can help during the pregnancy process.

Our Guest: Lisa McIntire

Lisa McIntire currently serves as Executive Director of Pregnancy Care Center, where they equip about 500 expectant dads each year for the joys and rigors of fatherhood. Her passion for supporting dads is borne out of her personal experience as the child of a teenage father and then later marrying a single dad with a 7-year-old son.

Show Notes

"How I got interested in what I'm doing for work, kind of starts before I was born." (2:40)
"When I see what education and support can do for dads, it makes me all the more passionate about it." (4:40)
"Women and children are just more vulnerable when there isn't a positive dad, or man, in the home." (8:34)
"We still do offer the coaching after the baby is born, typically until the child is 4 to 6 months because we do know that is a very overwhelming time." (14:43)

Resources

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Pregnancy Care Center

E517 How to Support Women Throughout Pregnancy | With WIC Nutritionist Tommy Boyce Jan 17, 2024

Tommy Boyce, a WIC Nutritionist, talks about what dads can do to help and support women throughout pregnancy. "WIC" stands for "Women, Infants, and Children."

Our Guest: Tommy Boyce

Tommy has been married to his wife, Cassandra, for 10 years, and they have a wonderful 5-year-old boy named Sullivan. Tommy graduated from UCM with a degree in dietetics and Logan University with a Masters in Sports Nutrition. He has been a Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) Nutritionaist across the sate of Missiouri and has been with the Springfield-Greene County WIC office for 8 years. Tommy enjoys excersising, anything related to Star Wars and he is a Die Hard Chiefs fan!

Show Notes

"...dads aren't involved, in the name of it at least (WIC), but that's far from the truth when it comes to their partner having a preganancy and when it comes to having a child." (3:30)
"When new parents come to WIC, are you one of the first people they come to meet with?" (10:12)
"What are some of the best parts of your job, and what are the worst parts?" 15:38
"What can dads do? So, lets say mom is-- first of all he could be supportive of breast feeding-- but lets say it [breast feeding] goes well, what can he do? And what if it [breast feeding] does not go well? What can he do?" (18:48)
"Why is it important that Dad also learns to eat well during that period [of pregnancy]?" (21:34)
"You have an important role to play, in not only for your partner, for their pregnancy, but for the outcome of the pregnancy as well." (24:32)

Resources:

Springfield-Greene County WIC

E516 Navigating Parenthood with Four Kids, Including Twins Jan 11, 2024

Summary:

This week we welcome husband and wife Minor and Sarah Baker, both professors at Missouri State University in the Elementary and Early Childhood Education program. They talk about having a total of four children and twins as their second and third. Their experience was a blur, but both worked together as a team in a challenging season of life.

Minor Baker (PhD):

Minor is an Assistant Professor in the Elementary Education program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education. He has been at Missouri State since the fall of 2018. A native midwesterner who has spent time in Texas, Minnesota, and now Missouri. His research interests include school and community interactions, culturally sustaining supervision, and alternative interpretations of school leadership.

Sarah Jean Baker (PhD): Sarah is an Assistant Professor in the Early Childhood Program, in the School of Teaching, Learning, and Developmental Studies in the College of Education at Missouri State University. She earned her PhD in School Improvement from Texas State University. She has experience working in public schools as an early childhood teacher- teaching kindergarten and first grade, as well as leading schools as a school leader. Her research interests include teacher preparation and teacher development for social justice and culturally sustaining pedagogy, early childhood education, and women’s issues in schools. She is a proud mama to four children and often finds her greatest joys and struggles in her mama identity.  Show Notes:

"The technician told us, 'Well they both look great.' Minor and I looked at each other ... What do you mean both? She said, 'Oh my gosh, you didn't know you were having twins? Look, here!'" (3:15)
"Was your largest concern fincances, or ... what are you thinking about when you realize you are suddenly going to be a dad of three?" (10:25)
"It feels like it must have been a blur?" "Yeah, people ask what it's like to have twins, and I go, 'oh I don't know."' (13:10)
"We always had the twins on the same schedule... So I don't remember that part being stressful, but you do get sleep deprived." (18:10)
"This whole podcast [episode] is to help other parents with twins or three kids, four kids, and it's like, 'we just kinda got through it and we don't even remember.'" (21:03)
"High schoolers and middle schoolers at the same time... zero out of ten, I do not recommend." (24:40)

Resources:

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E515 Baby Preparations with Expectant Father Tyler Head Jan 03, 2024

This week we sat down with Tyler Head, a husband and an expectant dad, to talk about the final stages of pregnancy, preparations for the baby, the unknown and how to focus on Mom and their relationship.

Head, Tyler | Business & Leadership Coach, Dryve Leadership Group

Tyler Head and his wife, Katherine, are transplants from the beautiful states of Tennessee and North Carolina. They have come to love the Ozarks and the people in it over the years. Tyler works in Organizational Change and Leadership Development, a fancy way of saying "being with people." Katherine is a teacher at Ozark Junior High School. Tyler believes that the engagement of a father is unique in its gift to the development of a child’s head, heart, and soul. How we fathers engage or do not engage with our children has a long-term ripple effect on the child, our communities, and our culture. For a myriad of reasons, engaging as a male seems to be a skill set that has fallen by the wayside over the past years. The practice of engagement is a muscle with more power than most. It’s a muscle that needs to be exercised in our society by fathers. If we can continue in our efforts of cultivating space for men to practice these muscles, our children, the community, and our culture will benefit.

In this episode...

Introducing the topic for 2024: "Growing Good Dads" (1:00)
"My name is Tyler Head, originally from the middle Tennessee area..." (1:40)
"What did you need more or less of in the first couple of weeks [after the baby arrives]?" (6:45)
"Although there is a lot of sacrifice in having one or more children, it is one of the greatest rewards in life." (13:20)
"How will we make time for us [wife] and continue to get to know each other?" (16:00)
"In order to bond, you need to take care of the baby sometimes by yourself." (21:35)

Resources

Explore more of the Good Dads' 2024 theme: Growing Good Dads at our blog.

For men's mental health resources, check out our blog Men & Mental Health.

E514 Revisiting: Difficult Relationship Questions with Dr. Matt Turvey Dec 21, 2023

From the Good Dads archive, we are taking a look back at our discussion with Dr. Matt Turvey, a clinical psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, from May of 2023.

Dr. Matt Turvey talks about how curiosity, compassion and an eye for connection can keep an open mind when trying to solve difficult situations in relationships. Even though it can be challenging at times, being patient, doing the right thing and playing the long game is important for the well-being of a child and family as a whole.

"I've learned over the years that if we can respond to our spouse, or our significant other, with curiosity, compassion and with an eye toward connection..." (03:25)
"I would encourage, going into conversations, consider if your body language is right, your posture..." (15:56)
"How do you encourage someone that may be in a difficult marriage?" (22:58)
"Let's say that you are a dad and you think that your wife either has a mental health issue and/or has an addiction problem... What do you do?" (33:15)

Resources:

Rules of Estrangement by Joshua Coleman (32:48)

Find more resources at gooddads.com

Read the Men & Mental Health blog

E513 Revisiting: How Men Can Keep the Romance Alive Dec 20, 2023

From the Good Dads archive, we are revisiting a podcast originally published in May 2023.

Dr. Jennifer Baker, president and founder of Good Dads, talks with us about "a man and his relationships." This is an overview of May 2023 and how men can keep the romance alive and maintain healthy relationships.

E512 Mediation Dec 13, 2023

From the Good Dads archive: We talk with Lisa Blumenstock about her role as a mediator, how this pertains to divorce, mediation vs litigation, and helping couples with negotiation.

E511 Revisiting: Fatherhood Through Divorce with Kirk Cocanougher and Marlon Graves Dec 06, 2023

From the Good Dads Archive: Kirk Cocanougher, from Keller Williams, and Marlon Graves, VP of "A Girl Like Me," share their experiences on how to communicate with their ex-partners and how to be a good dad through difficult situations.

Our Guest: Kirk Cocanougher

Kirck Cocanougher of Keller Williwams is father of three of his own, and after he remarried he gained three bonus kids for a total of six.

Our Guest: Marlon Grave

Marlon Grave is the VP of "A Girl Like Me" and father of four.

Show Notes

"Initially, it [the divorce] was definitely the hardest thing that I've ever been through." (1:52)
"Can you talk about how you felt in the legal system, did you feel like it was stacked against you or did you have a good experience?" (7:42)
"It [divorce] could make you into a, in my opinion, into a better person.. it could." (16:25)
"I think the system has become more, and I don't want to say it this way, 'pro-women' or 'pro-mother'... at the end of the day, I just felt like if I did not make that extra effort, there are just some things I would have never found out." (24:45)
"I think about the happiness I have now with my children, in comparison to then. Everything happens for a reason. At least in my case. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I didn't go through these turmoils." (29:25)

Resources:

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E510 How to Create Hopeful Habits Following Addiction Nov 20, 2023

Dr Jennifer Baker and J. Fotsch talk about being grateful after following addiction or a traumatic event. Hopeful habits and gratitude are some tools we can use to move forward after difficult life events.

Show Notes

"The action part of being hopeful is starting with a gratitude list." (1:52)
"Start your day off with little, simple things for you." (4:44)
"How important is that to give someone positive reinforcement in a relationship?" (8:09)
"So the portion of action when it comes to being hopeful is very important... Actually getting out, and having that personal interaction." (15:13)
"Find a way to give back." (16:50)

Resources:

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E509 How to Have Hope After Addiction and Trauma Nov 15, 2023

Dr Jennifer Baker and J. Fotsch talk about hope following addiction or a traumatic event. Being hopeful and having faith are just a couple of tools we can use to move forward from difficult life events.

Show Notes

"I've seen any number of couples recover from infidelity and have a better marriage." (1:32)
"You have to take one day at a time, and that is not always sometimes, unfortunately, not just the addict but the other people around the addict." (5:28)
"When you start to predict and you try to control your outcome, that's when it can be dangerous. I think it's that fine line of making sure you don't do that. Set some goals, do one day at a time, but let life happen also." (8:43)
"It's how I react to something that is going to cause me to get me on the wrong path." (14:24)

Resources:

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E508 Revisiting: Convicted Felon to Responsible Father with James Minks Nov 08, 2023

From the Good Dads Archive, we are revisiting our discussion with James Minks, a New Pathways father. James has made a lot of changes in his life in a very short time. His remarkable story includes the journey from convicted felon to responsible father in less than a year. It begins with Victory Mission's Restoration program and includes involvement with the Fatherhood Development Curriculum. Today James works fulltime and has benefits associated with fulltime employment. He regularly sees his sons and appreciates the opportunity to contribute to the care by paying child support.

E507 FML. Managing Emotions with Fun, Mastery, and Love | With Dr. Brent Anderson Nov 01, 2023

We take a look back at our interview with Dr. Brent Anderson, a clinical psychologist from the military from West Point New York. He talks about how to handle change, behavioral interventions, and "FML..." Fun. Mastery. Love.

Our Guest: Dr. Brent Anderson

Dr. Brent Anderson has been a clinical psychologist in the army for 15 years. He has been married for 15 years and is a father of 3.

Show Notes

"I'm hoping that some of the unique challenges that military face may be relatable to listeners that may not be in the military." (1:06)
"We changed FML to Fun. Mastery. Love." (8:18)
"When we start the day with a purposeful act of planning what am I gonna do for fun, what am I going to accomplish, what relationships am I going to build, and I view that in my head, I'm going to feel optimistic about the day." (14:59)
"Write down what you did for fun. Write down what you did for Fun, Mastery, and Love." (19:28)
"It's useful because you can both use it [the FML method] when you maybe are feeling mildly or moderately depressed, but you could also use it in order to maintain mental health." (23:27)
"By doing the repetition and doing this stuff regularly, it teaches people that they can influence how they feel." (27:45)

Resources:

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E506 Revisiting: Signs of Addiction; Our Guest Shares His Story Oct 24, 2023

This week we bring you an episode from the Good Dads archives. Dr. Baker and Drew Dilisio originally met with Doug, a father and a husband, in February 2022 to discuss his battles with addiction. Doug shares his experience, strength and hope for those who still struggle with addiction.

Show Notes

"I am curious when you first become aware that it [alcoholism] might be a problem?" (3:06)
"I wouldn't do anything unless I could drink. If there was no drink, there was no Doug." (4:32)
"It [alcohol] will never solve any problems. It will not make anything better." (10:25)
"You hear everybody's stories [at meetings], everybody's circumstances. You hear their successes. Not everyone has the same past, but we have the same goal. And that is to be a better person and to be able to live life sober." (16:15)
"I would imagine that most people in AA know that the illness tends to run in families. What do they tell their children, particularly if their children are maybe right at the age, they're in adolescence, where they might start experimenting with alcohol without their parents' awareness... because have dads listening to the program, what might they say to their kids?" (27:41)
"Let's say that you have a wife listening to this and she's thinking, 'Oh but I like to have a glass of wine every now and then, so if my husband stops drinking, and he probably should, does that mean I have to stop drinking?" (30:48)

Resources:

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E505 How To Help An Addict And Set Boundaries | With Kevin Stratton, LPC Oct 17, 2023

Kevin Stratton, LPC is a counselor at Victory Mission. He talks about the men he helps with family trauma backgrounds and substance use. Addiction affects the whole family. Kevin also talks about how faith can be helpful on a path to a new life.

Our Guest: Kevin Strattion, LPC

Kevin is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist (CCTP) and a Certified Biblical Counselor. Kevin has been the Counseling Director at Victory Mission for five years, and before that, he worked in the churches for 18 years. He works with patients who are struggling with addiction & trauma.

Show Notes

"We've been really trying to look at the family as a whole and friends around them [the addict] and how many people are affected by that addiction and it has a lot of healing to do for, not only the actual addict, but the people around them." (2:42)
"You have to set up boundaries, even with family members." (4:45)
"The ultimate decision [to address their addiction] is on that person, and if they don't want to accept your help, then they're not going to do it." (10:26)
"Compassion, a little bit of love in the first place to get them back into a certain stage, but then there's also that certain stage where you have to be kind of firm... Where is the action?" (17:56)
"National stats about faith-based or religious-based--even that stuff will show you that if someone has some kind of faith, they have a better chance of doing better." (19:55)

Resources:

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Victory Mission offers outreach services, a men's shelter, and men's and women's 18-month programs for the incarcerated or houseless.

E504 Addiction and Substance Abuse Oct 10, 2023

Carl Dawson, an expert in the field of addiction, talks about how addiction and substance abuse is a disease and cannot be fought with "will power" alone. Education and knowledge is the first step to figuring out if someone in you family is struggling with addiction... it's a process, not an event.

E503 How Addiction Affects the Whole Family | Substance Use Prevention Month Oct 03, 2023

Dr. Jennifer Baker, president and founder of Good Dads, talks about addiction and how it can affect the WHOLE family (not just the person struggling with dependency). October is Substance Abuse Prevention Month, and we'll be talking about addiction all this month with different guests.

Show Notes

"Today, we are going to introduce this topic of the month [addiction] by talking about the impact on families." (1:00)
"What will happen is a lot of people with justify the degree of their life matched with the degree of their alcoholism and there really is no degree, you're either an alcoholic or you're not." (7:04)
"It doesn't discriminate on sex, age, your career, how much money you make, it doesn't discriminate at all. And that's with drug and alcohol addiction." (8:14)
"Their behavior is unpredictable." (15:18)
[Family dynamics] "The family hero is the one that distracts from their parents drinking, by their exceptionally responsible and high performing behavior. The second one though, who's going to compete with that?... So this kid is often the rebel." (22:28)

Resources:

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E502 How to Battle Loneliness and Isolation | With Psychologist Dr. Chris Ward Sep 27, 2023

Dr. Chris Ward, a psychologist at Ozarks Community Hospital, shares how social isolation is on the rise. Social connections and human interactions can help battle loneliness and isolation.

Our Guest: Dr. Chris Ward

Chris has been a psychologist at Ozarks Community Hospital for seven years. He works with patients with a variety of different concerns including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD.

Show Notes

"Money and finances seem to be, based on my research, very taboo in the therapy world." (5:10)
"Most of my social connections are by circumstance, not by choice. And I think there's some limitations that come with that." (9:35)
"It is important to have that emotional connection, most importantly to other men. Us men need that as well." (12:43)
"The Sergent General's report pointed out that loneliness equates to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, in the health impact and morbidity." (13:18)
"One of the things from the report I thought was very, very telling was the amount of time people today, compared to 2003, are spending feeling socially connected." (18:24)
"I think about the importance of focusing outward. Focus on other people, connect with other people, but also serve and support other people, getting out of our head." (22:50)

Resources:

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E501 Loneliness and Isolation Sep 19, 2023

Dr. Thomas Januosek, Deputy Director of Counseling in Lincoln Nebraska, talks about how lack of social connection could be one of the signs of loneliness and isolation. A person must maintain positive social connection and we need to guide people outside their comfort zone with positive activities.

E500 OUR 500th Episode Sep 11, 2023

Dr Shelby Smith, a family physican, husband, and dad, works at Equality Health Care, talks with us on our 500th episode about loneliness and isolation. He says social activities and exercise helps but too much phone activity and social media can add to loneliness and isolation.

E499 How to Battle Loneliness and Isolation: The Three Social Connections Sep 05, 2023

Topic of the month: Loneliness and Isolation and why that is a concern for men and mental health

Dr. Jennifer Baker, founder and director at Good Dads, says we need "people" (human interaction) to battle loneliness and isolation. There are three social connections: structure, function, and quality to make sure you are surrounding yourself with positive people.

Show Notes

"We are covering this from the whole perspective of why a man needs friends and friendship, and why men really struggle in this area." (1:00)
"We do know that men suffer from loneliness more so than women." (2:22)
"Introverts still need people. They just don't need as many people." (6:50)
"You might think about some hobbies you enjoyed [to meet new friends]." (13:18)
"The quality is the degree to which relationships and interactions with others are positive, helpful and satisfying, versus negative, unhelpful and unsatisfying." (16:55)
"There's no one who doesn't need a connection." (20:50)

Resources:

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E498 How to Handle Stress as an Over-the-Road Driver | With Prime Inc. Driver Thomas Miller Aug 28, 2023

Thomas Miller, a driver for Prime and from a family generation of on the road truckers, talks about work and stress and how to handle not being home. Thomas talks about communication, safety first, and walking as tools to help with being away from his family.

Our Guest: Thomas Miller

Thomas and his wife have two daughters and three grandchildren. Thomas is an over-the-road driver for Prime, Inc.

Show Notes

"How did you get interested in being an over-the-road driver?" (1:50)
"Can you talk a little bit about how it can be stressful and how you manage that stress?" (5:18)
"How do you avoid taking that [stress from a bad day] out on your wife or children?" (13:47)
"The best way to be successful driving a truck is putting safety first, always." (16:40)

Resources:

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E497 How To Manage Work Related Stress | With Dr. Mike Dawson Aug 21, 2023

Dr. Mike Dawson, the Executive Director of Instructional Services at Branson Public Schools, talks to us about the education system and how self-care, realistic expectations, and having a support system can all help with work-related stress.

Our Guest: Dr. Mike Dawson

Mike is the Executive Director of Instructional Services at Branson Public Schools. He has been in public education for 29 years, and 10 of those years have been at his current role. Mike has been married for 29 years and is a father of 3.

Show Notes

"Do you want to speak to what might be stressful in education?" (4:18)
"We're in the human being business." (4:32)
How do you deal with the stress of holding your own kids to a high standard as they are going through the school(s) that you work at? (14:30)
"You have to find someone in the building that you click with, you have to have a relationship with someone who's doing the work that you're doing, and you have to have a really trusting relationship with that person." (19:07)
"Don't take more than you can do at home." (20:09)

Resources:

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E496 Work Related Stress Aug 14, 2023

We talk with Frank Tristan, a football coach, husband, and a dad, about work related stress and balance of coaching, family and faith. He also talks about being intentional and setting boundaries and living in the margin.

E495 Work Related Stress Aug 07, 2023

Jim Millsap, a recently retired math teacher and ex-principal, talks about the Good Dads/Strong Schools Program and how it can help family interaction and better communication with children. Jim also talks about how constant accessablity (like cell phones and social media) can be exhausting and, in the end, cause more work related stress.

E494 August Preview Aug 02, 2023

Dr Jennifer Baker discusses how "work, life, balance," is a myth. It's ok to have stress, but also know how to say "NO." We also talk about how to manage stress and it's ok to ask for help.

E493 Secondary Trauma Jul 24, 2023

We sit down with Drew Dilisico, a counselor at Good Dads, to talk about secondary trauma, big "T" trauma, little "T" trauma, and how this can all effect men's mental health. Drew also talks about compassion fatigue and being burnt out.

E492 Mental Health and Trauma Jul 18, 2023

Dr Robert Mindrup, a professor at the University of Tennessee, talks about how a father's mental health directly impacts his family and children's well-being. Prevention can include diet/exercise, modeling humility, and itentifying triggers.

E491 Helping with Trauma Jul 10, 2023

We sit down with Kevin Stratton, counseling director at Victory Mission, to try to identify trauma through unhealthy reactions and how trauma disrupts the mind and heart. Trauma can also affect our physical and emotional health and damage our spirituality.

E490 Introdution to Trauma Jul 03, 2023

Good Dads Founder and Director Dr. Jennifer Baker talks about the different types of trauma (during early childhood 1-18 years old). Trauma includes situations or events that are beyond your control and can be often referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

E489 Outstanding Fathers of the Year (part 2) Jun 14, 2023

Wayne Sheets and Nathan McCartney, both on the board of Good Dads, present the finalists for Outstanding Fathers of the Year in transportation and trades. The awards banquet dinner will be held on September 16, 2023.

E488 - Outstanding Fathers of the Year (part 1) Jun 14, 2023

Board member Michael Vaughn, from Pinnacle Family Advisors, presents the Good Dads Outstanding Father of the Year finalists in law enforcement and first responders. The awards banquet dinner will be held on September 16, 2023. Next week you'll learn about the finalists in trades and transportation.

E487 Why is it Important for Children to Have Both a Mother and Father? Jun 10, 2023

As we approach Father's Day, Dr Jennifer Baker, president and founder of Good Dads, shares an article about the dynamics of dads and how important it is for children to have a mother and a father.

Show Notes

"We are talking about in general, statistically, fathers tend to be a particular way, and in general, mothers tend to be a particular way, and each contributes something different to their child and children benefit from having a mother and a father... We want to talk about what fathers bring to the parenting relationship." (1:20)
"Fathers also more consistently made it a point to get their children outdoors to do activities." (6:31)
"Fathers were also more likely to encourage children's risk-taking." (10:50)

Resources:

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E486 Finding The Time for Your Relationship with Dr. "RB" PsyD May 22, 2023

This week's guest is Gaston Rougeaux-Burnes PsyD, who counsels families and children in West Texas. Dr. Rougeaux-Burnes talks about finding the time in relationships = HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. Respect, self-worth, and power/control are common issues he experiences with couples. He talks about couples that communicate, do check-ins and work on maintenance, can have healthy relationships.

Our Guest: Gaston Rougeaux-Burnes, PsyD

Gaston, known as Dr. "RB" to his young patients, is a Licensed Psychologist in West Texas who specializes in working with children, couples, and families in a variety of capacities, including play therapy, individual therapy, and parent training. Gaston has been married to his wife for eight years and they have two kids, ages five and three.

Show Notes

"I find with a lot of our couples that they tend to talk to me about is finding the time for each other, dating each other like they used to." (3:18)
"I became a part of an organization called the 100 Black Men of West Texas... We have basic pillars in terms of helping give back to our community: mentorship, economic development, health & wellness, to name a few of those." (4:40)
"What do you think are the most common communication problems couples have?" (11:25)
"The deeper issues that our couples come in with tend to be these same things that crop up in all of our lives. Issues with respect, issues of self-worth, issues of power and control." (12:15)
"How do you coach or train your couples in improving their communication skills?" "The biggest way is we start from the inside out." (16:58)
"Sex tends to be a symptom, but not THE problem." (20:30)
"A lot of times when couples say they are not having sex, what we really end up talking about is how they are not really feeling seen in their relationship, but most importantly they are not able to be vulnerable with their partner in other aspects of their relationship." (21:06)

Resources:

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E485 Difficult Relationship Questions May 18, 2023

Dr. Matt Turvey, a clinical psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, talks about how curiosity, compassion, and an eye for connection can keep an open mind when trying to solve difficult situations in relationships. Even though it can be challenging at times, being patient, doing the right thing, and playing the long game is important for the well being of a child and family as a whole.

E484 Keeping The Romance Alive May 08, 2023

We sit down with Dr Jennifer Baker and Drew Dilisio, from Good Dads, to talk about how dads can keep the romance alive. From everything to sex, new experiences, and helping each other, Drew cautions dads not to fall into routine or normal patterns.

E483 Healthy Relationships May 02, 2023

Dr Jennifer Baker, president and founder of Good Dads, talks with us about "a man and his relationships." This is an overview of May 2023 and how men can keep the romance alive and maintain healthy relationships.

E482 Overcoming Anger with Ryan Langston Apr 25, 2023

We sit down with Ryan Langston, a dad and a husband that has worked on overcoming anger in his life, about his experience. Doing activities, using heavy muscles, validating feelings, and time-outs all help to overcome anger.

Our Guest: Ryan Langston

Show Notes

"Is there a way where you can do that [yell out of anger] and it be productive?" (2:54)
"Anger can sometimes be good. We can all be angry, it's just a form of emotion." (7:35)
"How do you recognize when things are heating up and maybe you need to do something different?" "Two things. My blood pressure, I feel that going up pretty quick, and two, I realize when I want to talk over people." (12:31)
"Is it healthy, I know you always talk about not withdrawing, is that ok to withdraw from that kind of situation?" (16:02)
"How important would you say that humility is, Ryan, to managing your anger?" (23:45)

Resources

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E481 Anger - Dr Chris Ward Apr 17, 2023

We talk to Dr Chris Ward, a psychologist from Ozarks Community Hospital, about the signs of anger. Questions like, "why am I so angry?" and carrying resentments can be common signs of anger.

E480 Anger - Part 2 Apr 10, 2023

We sit down again with Dr Jennifer Baker and Drew Dilisio, from Good Dads, to talk about how to deal with anger. A person can express anger in a healthy way by heavy exercise, a time-out ro relaxation period, or to talk about the anger out loud with someone to recognize why you are angry.

E479 Different Kinds of Anger - Part One Apr 04, 2023

We sit down with Dr Jennifer Baker and Drew Dilisio, from Good Dads, to talk about the different types/kinds of anger. This anger can include fear/threats (physically or emotionally), fight or flight anger, and self anger (that can potentially cause health problems).

Show Notes

"I have heard that anger equals fear... is that true?" (0:30)
Fight vs Flight: the "Fight" response (5:03)
"It's ok to say, 'I'm really angry about that...' But it doesn't mean screaming and yelling." (8:15)
"We now know that children who have a lot of adverse or bad childhood experiences, that they carry the markers of that on their health for their entire life. And I think part of that is related to fear and anger." (11:43)
Physical signs of anger (15:00)
"In trying to understand more about whether or not you are angry, ask people who know you well, who you trust, who love and care about you." (18:41)

Resources:

Go to Part Two

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E478 Forgiveness and Mid-Life Mar 27, 2023

We welcome Dr Russell Gaede, who has written and discussed many pieces about forgiveness, to talk about how built up anger can not only hurt you but also others around you, which is very unhealthy for the self. The principle of gratitude helps to forgive.

E477 Hope for Men Mar 21, 2023

We talk with Kevin Stratton, the director of counseling for the Restoration Program at Victory Mission, about how men can overcome self medication and drug/alcohol addiction. The program strives to give men hope, guidance, and finding a positive identity.

E476 Mid Life and Men Mar 13, 2023

We talk with Dr Gaston Rougeaux-Burnes, a clinical psychologist in West Texas, about mid life and men, transitions as you get older and how relationships with the family can change over time.

E475 Mid Life March Mar 08, 2023

We talk with Dr Jennifer Baker, the president and founder of Good Dads, about the signs of mid life in men; mood changes, feeling stuck, tired and loneliness, can all be signs of mid life. We talk about how we can prevent a "crisis" through different stages of mid life.

E474 Good Activities for Men's Mental Health | 365 Days of Catch With Ethan Bryan Feb 27, 2023

We talk with Ethan Bryan, an author and baseball fan, about how "play" is helpful for mental health. Playing catch and getting outside can battle loneliness and be good for positive social activities.

Our Guest: Ethan Bryan

Ethan is best known for playing catch 365 days in a row. He is an author and avid baseball fan as well as a father.

Show Notes

"Why is mental health related to playing catch?" (3:40)
"Playing is an activity that encourages trust." (6:00)
"Loneliness. A great epidemic, mostly among men. So I want you to talk about how you found people to play catch with. What was their reaction when you asked them to play catch with you?" (10:01)
"Playing catch develops your 'interceptive timing.'" (15:40)

Resources:

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ethanbryan.com Ethan posts a weekly blog on his website. He is also tackling another 365 days of playing catch in 2024!

E473 Dr Chris ward Feb 22, 2023

We talk with Dr Chris Ward about how we can recognize signs of depression - life style changes and losing interest in some of our favorite activities. Also Dr Ward talks about how we can form new healthy coping skills and new healthy habits.

E472 Drew's Personal Story - OCD Feb 14, 2023

Drew Dilisio, a mental health counsler at Good Dads, shares his personal story about OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and recognizing mood and anxiety in everyday life.

E471 Dr Brent Anderson - Part Two Feb 06, 2023

Dr Brent Anderson, a clinical psychologist for the military in West Point New York, talks about counter balance thoughts (negative thoughts vs strength and balance) in our part "two" conversation about men's mental health.

E470 Dr Brent Anderson - Part One Feb 01, 2023

Dr Brent Anderson, a clinical psychologist from the military from West Point New York, talks about how to handle change, behaviorial interventions, and "FML..." Fun. Mastery. Love.

E469 The Ogunyemi Brothers Share Their Personal Mental Health Journeys Jan 23, 2023

We welcome the Ogunyemi Brothers, Dr Clement Ogunyemi and Major Olaolu Ogunyemi, to share their personal journey with mental health (depression, anxiety, and self esteem). Also they talk about their book "Three Day Mental Health Guide: Major Payne Edition."

Our Guests: Dr. Clement Ogunyemi and Major Olaolu Ogunyemi

Clement has a doctorate in Business Administration and Finance, has published a book on finance, and is a father of two.

Olaolu is a Major in the US Marine Corps, a children's author, and a father of three.

Show Notes

"We are talking to you today because of a book that was written that tells your stories." (3:15)
"I have nothing to be ashamed of, because this is going to help someone down the line who is strugglign with XYZ [mental health struggles]." (8:46)
"Olaolu, how did you get invovled in this [the book], what was your reaction when you heard from Clement? Where were you in all of this?" (9:30)
"I've shared with, I don't know how many people, my journey and how it's ok to seek help, it's ok to admit 'I am not perfect, I don't desire to be perfect, but what I do desire is to do better every day." (16:50)
"What we're trying to draw out, in a funny way, is to show how, as mentors, parents and as fathers, we can help our children by understanding what their needs are. That's why we use the character Major Pain." (20:50)

Resources:

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E468 Creating Positive Identities with Friend Groups | With Dr. Ryan Maid Jan 17, 2023

We talk with Dr. Ryan Maid, a professional baseball therapist from Kansas City, about creating a positive identity with a group of like-minded men and being a part of a "tribe."

Our Guest: Dr. Ryan Maid

Ryan works in professional baseball in Kansas City. With a background in psychology, Ryan joins the podcast to share insights on how he has been involved in helping men with mental health issues.

Show Notes

"When people feel a part of something bigger themselves, some of those barriers and access to care tend to reduce because you can be yourself within your tribe without judgment." (2:40)
"For those individuals in general, men, who can't pinpoint that something is going on... what would you say to someone who maybe is a little bit off or what would you tell someone around someone who's suffering from certain mental health issues, especially for men?" (7:45)
"I'm wondering how you think, oh let's say with a parenting issue or relationship issue, if things aren't going well... how men may differ from women?" (12:08)
"It's finding a way, how a man wants to be listened to... It's through experience, and doing, and activity." (19:35)

Resources:

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E467 How to Pick the Right Therapist for You | With Dr. Thomas Janousek Jan 10, 2023

We talk with Thomas Janousek, from the Nebraska Department of Mental Health, about picking a therapist that "fits you" or that you are comfortable with. Thomas also talks about the assessment of men's mental health and how it is such an important part of guiding men in the right direction.

Our Guest: Dr. Thomas Janousek

Thomas is the Deputy Director for Clinical Excellence at the Nebraska Department of Mental Health. Prior to that, he worked as a psychologist for 10 years, working mostly with assessment and also with individuals, couples and families.

Show Notes

"With a testing piece, with it being more objective, it really allows us to say, 'Hey what's real and what's just kind of the normal human experience?'" (3:47)
"Therapy differs from assessment because in an assesement, I'm usually working with you for about five hours, I'm doing an interview to get your history and back story, and then I'm throwing out a number of tests to kind of tease out some of those things I'm finding in that history." (7:05)
"A lot of people don't think that they can shop around [for a therapist] and they don't understand how important that relationship is. Like if you don't make a good connection with your therapist, you need to get a new therapist. And you can usually figure that out within one or two sessions." (11:03)
"If you're having a hard time feeling that safety to articulate yourself, that can be a huge barrier. The other one I typically see is just the general stigma with mental health. And again, that's another barrier that applies to both men and women." (12:30)
"And I think they don't even recognize it [depression] in themselves sometimes. They may be experiencing the loss of interest in things that they once loved to do, but they don't understand that that really is depression." (20:46)
"The other thing, and I think it's probably more relevant now following the pandemic, is the effect that unemployment can have on a man and how that can be a chronic stressor." (25:15)

Resources:

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E466 A Discussion on Men's Mental Health Jan 04, 2023

Dr Jennifer Baker and Drew Dilisio talk about highlighting men's mental health all year in 2023. How we can help identify and guide men to get the guidance they need for their families.

Show Notes

"For men, from what I've seen, they come in and they talk about physical things. So, my chest feels really tight, or my shoulders, or I can't sleep or I'm drinking so much coffee because I have to be doing something with my hands. It's definitely more a physical representation of an internal problem." (3:15)
"Once you do give them the opportunity to just talk, I've had guys that say, 'I don't know what I'm going to talk about.' And I just say, 'Oh that's ok, I'm just here to listen.' And by the end of the hour, they're saying, 'I didn't realize I had this much to talk about.' ...When you give them the space, it's there. They just don't know how to express it." (7:18)
"We are going to discuss, one of these months, the social aspect. I think, specifically with men, that's something we're seeing... Men will come in and say, 'Oh yeah, I have all that physical stuff down, but I'm still depressed.' And I go, "Ok, well what support systems do you have?' And the first question is, 'What's a support system?'" (15:50)

Resources:

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E465 Fathers and Education Oct 26, 2022

We talk with Dr Mike Dawson, the Executive Director of Instruction at Branson Public Schools, about the role of fathers and education and being an educated role model to our children.

E464 Prime Good Dads Oct 19, 2022

We talk with Devon Magruder, a driver for Prime, about how he communicates with his family and maintains a strong relationship while he is on the road.

E463 | Who needs sleep? - Stories from Dads with Two Toddlers Sep 30, 2022

We welcome back Brian Mattson and Drew Dilisio to the studio, who both have two younger children. These dads share their journeys in family dynamics, routines, and encouraging siblings to get along.

These fathers first joined us on the podcast as brand-new dads, and now they're juggling being dads of two: From poor sleepers to personality conflicts, you have to laugh with two children—for otherwise you may cry!

Our Guests: Brian Mattson & Drew Dilisio

Brian Mattson is an associate pastor at the Downtown Church in Springfield, MO, and a former member of the Good Dads Board of Directors. His background is in journalism and he studied at Mizzou. Brian is father to Jack and Dorothy.

Drew Dilisio, LPC is a behavioral health therapist and Navy veteran. He was formerly the Director of Counseling at Good Dads, and he earned his master's degree at Evangel University. Drew is father to June and Harper.

Show Notes:

(7:17) You can tell, even from pre-walking, personality-wise that we're going in different directions, and just different characteristics that have really shone through early.
(8:32) I think that's a second child thing because Harper will—she's independent! ... June is hyper-focused, and Harper will just be walking around ... Let her do her thing. She doesn't want to sit down and just focus on one thing.
(15:42) The toughest part about having two kids is that there's two kids. You don't understand that until you have two kids! ... When you have a second kid, the math doesn't work the same. It's not twice as hard: It's four or five or six times as hard.
(18:47) the hardest part is ... dealing with the, "am I doing this right?" ... Kathryne and I will joke to each other: "We wanted them, right?" "Yes, we love them!"

Resources:

The Growing Good Dads Blog

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E462 Prime Good Dads Sep 19, 2022

We talk to Mike Nissley, a driver for Prime Trucking, about health and fitness while on the road. Mike talks about Prime's program with "nutrition and truckers" and his website www.moderndaytrucker.com.

E461 Bath Time, Baby Proofing and Babbling | With New Dad Josh Fanning Sep 12, 2022

This week we reach back into the Good Dads archives to bring you this conversation with Josh Fanning, who was a new dad at the time. Originally recorded in September 2022, Josh came to the studio to join us in a wide-ranging conversation about being a dad to an observant and curious 11-month old. From baby-proofing the house and bath time to teething pain and bottle difficulties, Josh shares the joys and challenges that come with a baby born with a cleft palate.

Our Guest: Josh Fanning

Josh Fanning is an Ozarks native and a father to Benjamin, who was born in 2021. Josh works in installation and service work with Dyke Lumber, a Springfield business and lumber and hardware supplier. He and his wife, Natalie, had a second baby on the way at the time of recording.

Show Notes

(2:26) Benjamin is on the move. He's at that stage (when) you can't take your eyes off him. He can crawl fast!
(4:06) My life is a lot more regimented now. We try to adhere to a schedule ... For the most part, I come home from work, and instantly Benjamin's face light's up, he's so happy to see me. That makes my heart smile. I pick him up and play with him. Then it's dinnertime, and then bath time is like our special bonding time. I always give him his baths; that's our special father-son time.
(8:26) His teething kind of comes in waves ... Recently in the past 2-3 weeks, his top teeth have been coming in ... And for some reason it only seems to bother him during bedtime ... we'll go all day long, and he'll be fine. And then at bedtime, he's like, "I'm in pain now—it hurts." It's hard to deal with.
(11:58) Benjamin was born with a cleft palate, so he is missing the soft tissue in the roof of his mouth ... it's very hard. We have to have him off the bottle, and he can't put anything in his mouth, so we have to skip the sippy cup. We have to go straight to drinking from a glass.
(14:26) Other than the initial ultrasounds, my wife and I really wanted it to be a surprise. We didn't even know the gender until he came out.
(16:51) My advice would be: Listen to your wife!

Resources

The Growing Good Dads Blog