Good Children

Latest Episodes:

100 First Dates Feb 07, 2024

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Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every single Friday!

Gear up for Valentine's Day with the only Valentines you need this year: your favorite podcast duo. This week, the boys discuss the season of love, curbing your dog, Carrabba's Italian Grill, and the deeply isolating experience of a queer childhood. PLUS: A walking tour of Massapequa Park and a chance to join Andrew on the worst Valentine's Day in history!

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I Watched A Snake Eat A Cow Jan 31, 2024

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SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY! Break out your burn books because this week the boys are taking you to Northshore High for a look back on all things Mean Girls (gender neutral). From the classic film that shaped American history to the movie musical that's shaping TikTok discourse to the random kids in high school that permanently shaped how we see ourselves, this episode runs the mean girl gamut.

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The Emancipation of Royal Hegyes Jan 24, 2024

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Bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! MYSTERIES! SECRETS! PHOTOSHOP! Sit down with Royal Hegyes for his first on-camera interview in ten years as the boys unpack what it means to truly reinvent themselves. Plus: return to Joe's 17th birthday party and hear directly from party guests as they give alibis and throw blame over who tossed several beer cans over the fence that host August night. ALSO: get answers on who rang our doorbell last Christmas.

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You Get To Exhale Now, Totino Jan 10, 2024

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⁠BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON!

Today's episode is NOT FOR OUR MOMS!!! Let's talk the myths and lore and facts and fiction about gay sex. Everything from douching in public bathrooms to shoving water bottles down our throats at the lunch table in high school.

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A Rise From Grace Jan 03, 2024

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⁠BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON!

Who would win The Hunger Games? Who would win a figure skating competition? Who would die in a Shakespearean drama? All these questions and more are addressed in our first truly miscellaneous episode.

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Well, It's Over (2023) Dec 27, 2023

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BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON! Well it's over. Let's discuss our favorite parts of the past year, the most popular resolutions, and some of our biggest regrets.

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How The Hell Did The Grinch Steal Christmas? Dec 20, 2023

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Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat!

After an agonizing three weeks of terrifying our beautiful good children with prosthetics and beating any subject relating to Christmas to an absolute pulp, the boys go for one last ride as Cindy Lou Who and Mayor Augustus Maywho. On this episode, they discuss their favorite things from the past year and try relentlessly not to sound like they're doing sponcon. Does Andrew eat a chocolate bar a week? Are Stanley Cups conservative-coded? Is Joe hotter as a Who? (Don't answer that).

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A Little Bit of TLC Dec 14, 2023

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The boys try to stay on theme this week by talking about TLC original series, but start with Lifetime original Dance Moms and then just decide to start telling random stories, INCLUDING: Joe almost getting stabbed (again) in 7th grade, Andrew's personal trainer quitting on him (again) in 10th grade, the (not-so) secret romance between Elvis-loving nuns, and more.

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The Year Without a Santa Claws Dec 14, 2023

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JUMPSCARE! The boys are back for a very special episode of the podcast featuring YOU! After watching Andrew DIY his costume and a lively discussion about their own Santa Claus journey's let's take a few calls from our listeners on the Nice List this year about the moment their creepy little polar express bell stopped ringing. PLUS: A disastrous Wendy's experience, a special guest appearance by Amanda, and more.

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Homo Loan Dec 14, 2023

Show notes

Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat!

The boys set the holiday season off on the right foot by discussing some of their favorite Christmas classics, with a special attention to detail on Home Alone. PLUS: A peak into the archive for a very special iJoe holiday special, a life-changing trip to Wendy's, and more.

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