Give Grace

Latest Episodes:

Seek Clinical Answers Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

When we were finally ready to try for kids, it was heartbreaking to see that same negative test result over and over. Nothing like finding out this news, both positive and negative, on the toilet, right? After we had been trying for about six months, I just knew something was wrong. I was scared to take the next step, but I knew we needed to pursue testing. If this is where you are in your story, I have some encouragement for you! If you feel like something is wrong, go get tested. Testing provides information. Information can provide answers. Information and answers help us make more confident decisions. It’s ok to be scared, but take the next step anyways. Your OB is a good place to start, but they are not a fertility specialist. If you aren’t getting the answers you need or want, go somewhere else. Not all clinics and doctors are created equal. Encouragement from Chapter 1 called We Can Do Hard Things because God Can Do Hard Things: “At my very first Passion Conference, a Christian conference for college students, I heard Francis Chan speak. He told a story about a time when he preached a sermon and afterward someone told him that he looked refreshed. As Chan walked away, he thought to himself that he didn’t want to look refreshed. He didn’t want his life to be so easy that he had plenty of time to be refreshed. He wanted to look tired and worn down because he had been busy fighting a battle for God. He wanted to spend all of his time fighting bravely and boldly for the kingdom. So he began praying that God would bring him battles to fight. He didn’t pray for God to take away struggles from his life; he prayed for God to give him battles and the endurance to overcome and persevere. Wow. I knew in my heart that I have never been brave enough to utter such a prayer. But I wanted to be. What would my life look like if I had that attitude? What if I welcomed hard things with open arms because I was so ready to put on the armor of God and fight? Those battles, the hard things, more than anything else in life, help us become who we were always meant to be. The fact that we are able to learn and grow and change and become wiser through hard things is a privilege. It’s a chance for our faith to become deeper as we strive everyday to become more like Jesus—I mean, whoa, right? What a gift. Those hard things that give us that gift, well, I’d say they are a form of grace too. One I’m very thankful for.” - Give Grace book Links: CCRM - https://www.ccrmivf.com/colorado/ Ad: https://www.megansmalley.com/givegracebook Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Put Your Marriage First. Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

Going through struggles like infertility can either make your marriage stronger or it can drive a huge wedge between the two of you. It’s a battle every single day to prioritize each other when you’re feeling so down, lift each other up and make decisions with unity. Here are some things that helped us fight for each other on the darkest days. Recognize that it’s no one’s fault. Approach everything as a team. Give your spouse the space to grieve like they need to. Find ways to laugh & have fun together, even on the hardest days. Communicate about where you are and what you need. Encouragement from Chapter 7 called An Attitude of Grace: “In marriage and in life, it’s so important to focus our time and energy on watering our own grass. If someone else’s grass looks greener, it might be simply because they are watering and caring for it consistently. One of the ways that Blake and I do this in our marriage is to take time away from the kids to observe each other in our element. I knew I wanted to marry Blake when I went to watch him during his student teaching. Watching him pour his heart out for those kids, I knew he’d be the best dad. And he is. So, even now, my favorite thing to do is to go watch Blake coach his basketball team. Watching him in his element doing what he was created to do ignites my love for him all over again. It reminds me that the work he is doing outside of our home matters so much. Water the grass you are standing on with grace. Pluck the weeds. Mow faithfully. Meticulously trim the edges so there is room for love and gratitude to grow. Be faithful where God has you. Whatever is causing the seeds of discontentment and bitterness to bloom in your heart, root it out so that you can spend time making your own grass extra green.” - Give Grace book Links: Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ Ad: https://www.megansmalley.com/givegracebook If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Take Care of Yourself Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

After our failed IVF, my mom ordered me the book called It Starts with the Egg. It was in reading this book that I heard Dr. Schoolcraft’s name again and also learned about all the things that can impact our egg and sperm health. It was a wake up call to dig into taking better care of myself. Here are the simple steps that Blake and I took during our season of waiting to clean up our lifestyle and take care of ourselves. Physical health leads to mental, spiritual and emotional health. It feels good to be active and eat good. We are called to take care of our bodies, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Get outside. Go for a walk. Eat a good, healthy meal. Take vitamins. (We took this brand of supplements. I also really like these that are now available.) The stuff we put in and on our bodies matters. But so does the stress that comes from obsessing over every little thing. Pick one or two things each month to switch out for a cleaner / safer option. Get samples of my favorite clean skincare & makeup here. One thing at a time. One day at a time. Encouragement from Chapter 2 called Grace Through the Storm: “Whatever you are walking through, God already reigns victorious. If we keep our eyes on Jesus and not on our circumstances, He will give us peace in the midst of the storm. It’s a daily battle to take our eyes off our circumstances and refocus our hearts and minds on Jesus. On the days when you feel you can’t take another step, tell Him. He will meet you in those vulnerable moments to give you peace and strength to keep moving forward. He’s not scared of your mess. Be honest about where you’re struggling, and trust that He will be the hand you can always cling to, the One who never leaves your side.” - Give Grace book Links: It Starts with the Egg: https://www.amazon.com/shop/megansmalley?listId=3RK3DQ5LALV1B Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ Ad: https://www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com/beautycounter If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Find Purpose. Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

During my darkest and most uncertain days, I had a friend invite me into her life and let me love on and serve her family. Little by little, day by day, God healed my heart as I was able to love on the two most precious little blonde girls. It was during this time in my life that I found so much purpose in my pain. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t big and world changing. It was through simple acts of showing up when my friend asked and serving her family. This time taught me a lot of things and I want to share some of those with you today. Your purpose in life does not begin once you have a baby in your arms. There is purpose right now, in the middle of this season. Here are some practical ways you can find purpose in this season. Find a family you can love on that needs extra help and will let you in. Find a ministry you’re passionate about and serve there Take on a creative outlet or a side hustle that you love. (Scarlet & Gold was a wonderful distraction for me during my hardest days. Because I had the gift of time I was able to pour so much into building it.) God can use you for his Kingdom right now if you let him. Encouragement from Chapter 13 called A Community of Grace: “Our stories shape us. Our hardships define us. We get to choose what to do with that. Our testimony has to power to transform hearts. Humans are story-driven beings, and our testimony about God’s faithfulness in our lives is one of the most impactful tools we have in sharing the gospel. People connect with stories. They listen to them. And they will find themselves in your story, if you let them. When you share your story with others and talk about how God was real and faithful to you through good days and bad days, it gives others hope that this same God will be real to them too. Your story is too powerful to keep it to yourself. Give it away and watch what God does with it.” - Give Grace book Links: Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ Ad: https://www.megansmalley.com/givegracebook If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Release Control Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

True surrender is hard, but it brings so much freedom. In life, there is always something to worry about and there is always an area of our lives that we want to control. I want to challenge you to do the work you need to do now so that you can release control. Here are some truths that I want to share with you: You can’t control this. These are two examples of holding onto control in this process: Paralyzed: paralyzed by fear to take the necessary steps and face the potential road ahead Over control: meticulously controlling every detail in order to attempt to control the outcome Surrender brings freedom. As you let go of control, I want to remind you of these things: Surrender is a daily exercise. It’s one of the hardest things to do. Learning to wait well is a journey (balancing waiting on God and being proactive). True surrender is when we get to the place that we know we will be ok no matter what happens. You can move forward in faith while being confident that God is in control of the outcome. It’s important to prepare your heart for all outcomes, including the ones you may not want. Remember: God is in control. He is sovereign in ALL things, big and small. He knows your heart and what you desire most. Encouragement from Chapter 9 called The Grace of Hope: “Hope is a choice. It is both a noun and a verb. It’s something you can have, but also something you can do. To me the more important of the two is always in the doing. If we have hope, but aren’t actively hoping, then we are missing a crucial component. The hoping is God’s grace in action in our life. It’s that confident trust we place in Him to bless us regardless of the circumstances, the difficulties, or the down right impossibilities.” - Give Grace book Links: Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ Ad: https://www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com/beautycounter If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Process Fear & Sadness Mar 13, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, we are talking with my friend Raven, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, about the topic of processing fear and sadness. Raven is one of those friends that can get deep and these kind of friends are such a gift. While she hasn’t walked the road of infertility, she has walked through some hard stuff and has had to wait on God. So I love that she brings a personal level of understanding to the emotions that waiting can bring. Fear vs. Anxiety Emotions, in general, are information via signals within our bodies that are often closely related to sensations, thoughts or behaviors. Fear is a physiological response to something happening to us or around us that alerts us to a perceived danger. All emotions are adaptive as a means to alert our brains of what “next steps” to take. One of the most powerful things we can realize is that we were given emotion, including fear anxiety and even anger, for a reason. Anxiety is more specific than fear. It is an emotion characterized by racing or intrusive thoughts, muscle tension, increased heart rate, difficulty sleeping or focusing- restlessness. In my experience, anxiety results from ignoring or being unable to attend to, some fear or situation. The friction created by an unmet need whether that is for safety, comfort, or change. Practical ways to process fear & anxiety: First step is to regulate. Nothing else. Remind yourself that you are safe. It’s important to note that these steps have nothing to do with getting rid of fear. God gave us fear, even anxiety. We are just unable to use it in the way it is intended when we are flooded with emotions. Then, once you are regulated, can you identify your need? Simmer it down to that moment’s need: comfort, safety, care. Sadness & Depression Sadness is a signal that we are worn down and can manifest in these bodily signs: tears, a “weight,” general slowing. Depression has a very specific definition. (1) Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day. (2) Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day. (3) Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. (4) A slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down). (5) Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day. (6) Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day. (7) Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day. (8) Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide. To receive a diagnosis of depression, these symptoms must cause the individual clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. The symptoms must also not be a result of substance abuse or another medical condition. Depression is not just sadness multiplied. Depression is related to duration, bodily impact, and effect on day to day living and relationships. Strategies for both acknowledging and battling fear/ sadness: Familiarize yourself with your body’s way of letting you know that you need something. Get curious instead of panicking. Seek out a counselor, mentor, or support group. Ad: https://www.megansmalley.com/givegracebook Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Discern Lies from Truth Mar 13, 2021

Show notes

One of the hardest parts of this journey is all the lies we allow ourselves to believe. These lies can come from other people and they can also be lies from the devil that we allow our heart to believe. It’s important to distinguish what is true from what is not. Here are some things that are true: 1. This is not your fault. 2. God doesn’t promise us babies. 3. “Just relaxing” isn’t going to fix it. 4. You are likely facing an actual medical issue that is preventing pregnancy. 5. You can follow Jesus and pursue treatment. 6. There is purpose in your pain and in your waiting. 7. Every desire for a baby is real and valid and every loss matters. 8. The people you allow to speak into your life matter. 9. This is outside of your control. 10. This is more than any of us can handle, but God will provide the strength, peace and grace to get us through. Here are some strategies for combating lies with truth: Remind yourself about what is true daily. Go to Scripture to help you discern what is true and what is not. Surround yourself with wise counsel to help you discern. Recognize & call out the lies when you hear them. Being proactive vs reactive helps. Emotions are important, but they aren’t always reliable. Let friends in that can help call out lies and speak truth over your heart. Find a doctor / clinic that is going to tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear. Ad: https://www.amazon.com/shop/megansmalley?listId=3RK3DQ5LALV1B Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Let Grief & Joy Coexist Mar 12, 2021

Show notes

One of the biggest lessons I learned as I navigated the emotions of my infertility journey was that grief and joy can coexist. It seems simple, but once I recognized that this was possibly, my heart felt lighter. I could more freely and confidently express to others that my tears over their joy were not actually about them. They were about the brokenness of my story. If you are feeling overwhelmed and confused each time your friends share joyous news with you, you are not alone. I hope these truths help you put words to the things you are feeling. You can be happy and feel joy for others while feeling grief over your story. Just because someone’s happy news brings feelings of sadness to your heart doesn’t mean you’re not happy for them. Other’s joy on this road is often a reminder of your broken journey. Hard things are complex and it’s difficult to explain your feelings sometimes. Give yourself grace and the space to know that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Manage your expectations of yourself and from others. The world puts crazy expectations on us for how we are to respond and show joy outwardly. When you’re in a season of grief, it’s important to recognize that your outward expression of joy will look different from others and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel joy for someone else. Boundaries are important. Relationships are very important, especially in a season of grief. If a relationship is causing more harm than good, it’s ok to love people from afar. How to find joy in the grief Focus on the blessings in your life. Remind yourself about the good things in this season. Cry when you need to. Find someone to talk to other than your spouse because letting people in brings joy. Say yes to the celebrations that your heart can handle. Say no to the rest. Ad: https://www.megansmalley.com/givegracebook Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Make Room for Grief Mar 11, 2021

Show notes

Grief can encompass the loss of anything in our lives, tangible or intangible. In the journey of infertility, it can often feel hard to explain the depths of grief you experience. I often struggled putting words to the things that I was feeling so that others could understand. Here are some truths that I hope will give you the peace and freedom to grieve as you need. 1. It’s important to let your heart grieve. 2. You have to learn how to turn the corner from grief. Tips for pulling yourself out of grief from The Overcome Journal: Identify the trouble. Assess where you are emotionally. Identify the triggers. Take the next step. Take heart! (encourage your heart with God’s truth) Overcome with prayer, serving others and gratitude. 3. We will never move on from grief, but we have to learn how to move forward with it. 4. We have to grieve intangible losses too. Practical tools for grieving these kind of losses: Journaling, naming the expectations we had for how we thought this would go, marking losses with significance 5. Get off the emotional rollercoaster. Ad: https://www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com/beautycounter Ad: https://www.theovercomejournal.com/ If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

Megan’s Story Mar 11, 2021

Show notes

Someone once told me that having a baby should be fun and free. For me, it was neither. In this episode I am sharing my story. I'm going to talk about all the twists and turns of the past eight years as we walked through infertility and how I learned to be content through the suffering and season of waiting. I’ll discuss marriage, the ups and downs of our IVF treatments, our Give Grace campaign and the heart behind it and how all the heartbreak led me to my miracles. Before you listen to the rest of season 1, I think it’s important for you to know where I’ve been and where I am now. This road is full of uncertainty, good days and bad days, all the questions and so many tears. I want you to know that you’re not alone. Our stories may be different, but I know your pain. I see your confusion. I get your longing and your heartbreak. I’ll never claim to have all the answers, but I’ll always claim the One who does. You see, I am a follower of Jesus and my Biblical worldview shapes everything I do, the way I think and the decisions I make. My faith is what gives me hope on the darkest days. We may not share the same faith and that’s ok. You are welcome here no matter what, but I think it’s important for you to know where my joy, my hope and my strength come from. I recorded my story a few days before I delivered my miracle twin boys, so please give me lots of grace for my shaky and breathless voice. If you love this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you’d hit the subscribe button and leave me a 5 star review. These simple things help others find us and help support this ministry so we can keep providing free content for you. For all the latest information, helpful resources, announcements about new season launch dates and to join our free online community, visit www.theinfertilitysisterhood.com and make sure to follow us on Instagram (@theinfertilitysisterhood / @megansmalley).

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