Girlscamp

Worthy for What? Mormon Temple Marriage Stories Jun 18, 2025

It’s wedding season! So we’re diving into the pinnacle Mormon version of marriage: the temple sealing. I break down what a temple sealing actually is, what people did (or didn’t do) to be deemed “worthy,” and read tons of listener stories that show this tradition from all its bizarre, secretive, and sometimes downright wild angles. Let’s just say it’s less wedding bells and more red flags.

“Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets” podcast

“Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets” on YouTube

Exact script for the temple sealing

Alyssa Grenfell temple clothes video

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*TEASER* Ask Me Anything (But I'm High) Jun 16, 2025

Today we’re talking mixed-politics marriages, the true villain of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, when I feel “the spirit” most, and whether I’ve ever considered exploring with women 👀—among plenty of other things. My answers got a little more unfiltered than usual because, well, you know. 🍃

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Less Doctrine, More John Dehlin: The Man Behind Mormon Stories Jun 11, 2025

John Dehlin, a fixture of the post-Mormon community and founder of Mormon Stories, joins me to chat about life beyond Mormonism. We cover his favorite movies, books, places, parenting philosophy, and what he feels people most often misunderstand about him. Then—surprise, surprise—we break the no M-word rule and talk a little ex-Mormon podcasting shop. We couldn’t help ourselves.

Mormon Stories

Hayley’s episode on Mormon Stories

Lucy Hutchin's Patreon

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30, Flirty, & Slightly Wiser Jun 04, 2025

For my 30th birthday, I asked anyone and everyone over 30 what they wish they’d known when they hit this milestone—and wow, did they deliver. We’re covering everything from skincare to motherhood to spirituality, and reading through all this advice truly felt like the best birthday gift I could’ve asked for. Whether you’re 25, 35, or just curious what’s coming next, I hope you find something in here to laugh at, reflect on, or look forward to.

REFERENCES

You Are Here- Thich Nhat Hanh

Reddit episode

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The D-Word: Death & Dying After Religion May 28, 2025

We’re talking about the one thing none of us can avoid—but most of us were never taught how to really face: death. I’m joined by Camille Miskin, LCSW, licensed grief counselor and death doula, to unpack what death, grief, and dying look like after religion. From Mormon heaven to mortality mindset shifts, we’re getting into it all.

Camille’s practice Channeling Expansion

Camille on Instagram

The video of me looking like my dad

Death doula directories:

https://www.nedalliance.org/doula_directory_n_through_z.html

https://goingwithgrace.com/death-doula-directory/

Fowler’s Stages of Faith

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The Ex-Mormon Take: Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 2 May 21, 2025

As someone who spends a lot of time dissecting Mormon culture and doctrine—especially its impact on millennial and Gen Z women in Utah—Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is basically my Super Bowl. Today we’re diving into all things season 2: the claim that these women are “smashing the patriarchy,” Jen and Zac’s faith crisis, Taylor’s swinger shame spiral, Layla’s s-e-x party, the pregnancy roulette, and so much more. Grab your Swig and let’s get into it.

REFERENCES

Jenna Jarvis' Girlscamp episode on YouTube

Jenna Jarvis' Girlscamp episode on Apple podcasts

Jessi Ngatikaura's episode on YouTube

Jessi Ngatikaura's episode on Apple podcasts

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HEALING IS HARD ❤️‍🩹 May 14, 2025

I’m opening up today about the not-so-linear path of healing—what I’ve tried, what’s helped, and what’s still a big ol’ work in progress. From talk therapy to ketamine, psilocybin, and SSRIs, I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything… and I’ve got thoughts. I’m also sharing a recent EMDR breakthrough that cracked something open for me—one that’s got me (begrudgingly?) learning how to actually ~love myself~. If you’re in the thick of it too, or just curious what this kind of work looks like, consider this your peek into the messy middle.

Ketamine therapy deep-dive episode

(Thorn Brothers) Kyle Thorn & Tucker Thorn

You Are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh

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Come Follow Me... To Reddit May 07, 2025

If you know me, you know I love a good evening scroll on Reddit. In this episode, I’ve rounded up some of the most fascinating threads from my favorite subreddits—r/todayilearned, r/AITAH, r/unresolvedmysteries, and (of course) r/exmormon. We’re covering everything from the Japanese government to undercover Mormons to peanut allergies on a plane. This episode’s got range. I’m also sharing my own not-so-great run-in with a certain corner of Reddit—let’s just say I’m nursing a bit of a vulnerability hangover.

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REFERENCES:

Tom Sizemore/Saving Private Ryan

Mel Blanc/Bugs Bunny

Woman trapped in elevator

Peanut allergies

Japanese Prime Ministers

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*TEASER* Girls Gotta Rage about Garments May 04, 2025

I’ve had some LDS garment-related rage simmering lately—especially with the new tank top design and the attempt to rewrite history about what garments are actually for. So today, we’re doing a quick rundown of how garments have evolved, then diving into the recent wave of pro-garment content popping up online. And to close it out, I’m reading some thoughts and feelings about the garment stuff from the Patreon crew 🫶🏻

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Naked and On a Mormon Mission Apr 30, 2025

We’re keeping it light this week with an episode full of funny, weird, and very Mormon mission stories. Think: a raw chicken casserole for lunch, an Elder who got an unexpected nude surprise, and a Southern Baptist vs. Mormon missionary face-off that felt more WWE than WWJD. Come for the chaos, stay for the laughs!

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Community & Friendship, After the Fall (of Faith) with Samantha Dalton Apr 23, 2025

This week I’m joined by Samantha Dalton—therapist, co-host of the Nuance Needed podcast, and the voice behind @sam.the.therapistt on Instagram. Our conversation centers loosely on community and friendship after leaving high-demand religion, but we cover a lot of ground: the misuse of therapy-speak (including how “trauma dumping” gets weaponized), emotional immaturity among women raised in sheltered religious environments like Mormonism, and even a little analysis of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It’s one of those episodes that left me thinking long after we stopped recording.

REFERENCES

Nuance Needed episode Not Everything is “Trauma Dumping”

Nuance Needed episode You Do Owe People Things: The Myth of Zero Obligations

Samantha Dalton on IG @sam.the.therapistt

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* TEASER* Reading My Missionary Journal (Sincerely, Sister Walker) Apr 20, 2025

I’m letting you peek inside the very tortured brain of my former self: Sister Walker of the Berlin, Germany mission. After reading some dramatic (and slightly unhinged) excerpts from my missionary journal, I dive into your wild mission stories—featuring everything from being held up at gunpoint to someone putting a toilet seat in the dishwasher. Yep. Strap in.

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Earth Day is My New Easter with Lucy Hutchins Apr 16, 2025

As many of us rethink what spring means outside the framework of Easter, may I suggest a new holiday to center: Earth Day. 🌱 I’m joined by stylist and thrifting extraordinaire Lucy Hutchins to chat all things sustainable fashion, slower living, and how reconnecting with the planet can offer a spiritual anchor post-religion. We get into the why behind buying less, the magic of thrifting, and how sustainability can be its own kind of salvation.

Lucy’s first Girlscamp episode

Lucy’s IG

Lucy’s Patreon

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The Great & Abominable Campfire Chat Apr 09, 2025

Do Mormons really believe the Catholic Church is the “great and abominable church” that the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi warned about? 👀 Today we’re diving into that—plus: my new tattoo, whether ex-Mormons have a superiority complex, the latest round of Mormon hate content about me, and a little 420 participation guide (because why not).

REFERENCES

Ward Radio “the Bible is corrupt” reel

The green dress temple video

Women & The Priesthood video

Jeffrey R. Holland Mob Boss Vibes

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*TEASER* GIRLSCAMP #GENCON Apr 06, 2025

It’s that time of year again! Welcome to the first annual Girlscamp General Conference, where we reflect on the craziest and most problematic moments from General Conferences past. If you don’t come for all the terrible Russell M. Nelson quotes, at least stay for David A. Bednar’s pickle analogy.

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Making Sense of My Mormon Adoption with Marisa Cannon Apr 02, 2025

Marisa was adopted as a baby into a strict, conservative Mormon family in Mesa, Arizona. Growing up, she faced a tumultuous upbringing marked by religiously justified discipline, all while navigating life as a Black woman in a predominantly white LDS culture. In this episode, she opens up about her childhood, the challenges she faced, and her journey of healing.

TW: Brief mention of self-harm

Patriarchal Blessing description

Mimosa TikTok

“What radicalized me” IG post

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Severance vs. Mormonism: Spot the Difference Mar 26, 2025

Did something about the world of Severance (Apple TV+) feel eerily familiar? That might be because there’s a surprising amount of Mormon overlap. Today, we’re breaking down the striking similarities between Mormonism and Severance—and trust me, it’s a gift that keeps on giving. Praise to the man? Praise Kier? Yeah… maybe not!

REFERENCES

r/ExMormon Reddit thread

r/SeveranceAppleTVPlus Reddit thread

Crazy Stupid Podcast

@storytellersyd

@_relationscapes

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*TEASER* S*x, Drugs & Rated R Movies Mar 23, 2025

Once you step away from the strict rules of a high-demand religion, you’ve got to reassess where you stand on a lot of things. Today, we’re diving into my current standards around sex, drugs, and media—plus, taking a scary trip down memory lane with some wild Mormon quotes on all of the above.

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THE MORMON LORE with Aspyn Ovard Mar 19, 2025

Aspyn Ovard comes to Girlscamp to talk about growing up in Utah surrounded by Mormon culture and her brief stint in the LDS church. We dive into the "Mormon-adjacent" milestones of her life and the ways church influence showed up along the way. Then, Aspyn shares what she believes now, a recent experience with a medium that left her questioning some things, and how she's navigating the grief of losing her dad.

Aspyn on Instagram

Aspyn on YouTube

Alyssa Grenfell episode

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Ruby Franke: A Post-Mormon Moms' Take Mar 12, 2025

Jaci Marie Smith returns! We dive into the case that’s on everyone’s minds following Hulu’s Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke. Jaci shares her thoughts on the case’s deep ties to Mormonism and how she navigates having an online presence as a mom.

Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke

Jaci’s dad's episode on Youtube

Jaci’s dad's episode on Spotify

Jaci's Instagram

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*TEASER* Mormonism Fricked My Mental Health  Mar 10, 2025

Welp, starting therapy again is exposing just how much the Mormon church messed with my brain! In this episode, I’m unpacking the ways Mormonism has shaped my mental health and fed into some classic cognitive distortions. Plus, a catch-up on my recent LA interviews and some thoughts on the Ruby Franke documentary.

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Mormon God? I Hardly Know Her! Mar 05, 2025

Today, we’re diving into the nature of God—just girly things! I’ll share my journey deconstructing the 'traditional' idea of God, we’ll explore the Mormon conception of God, take a quick look at how views of God have evolved throughout history, and then I’ll read your submissions about how you’ve reimagined God after leaving high-demand religion.

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Rage Against the Man-chine Feb 26, 2025

It’s time to get a little rage out! I asked you to tell me about the most infuriating thing a man has ever said or done to you- be it a bishop, ex-boyfriend or boss. And unfortunately, we’ve all got some anger-inducing stories to tell. At least we get to vent together.

REFERENCES:

Monster Mormon In-Law episode

Male loneliness epidemic infographic

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*TEASER* The Man Behind the BYU Interviews: Robert Carpenter Feb 23, 2025

Public Enemy #1 at BYU? Today’s guest, Robert Carpenter! He's the man behind the viral TikToks exposing the quirks of BYU Mormons. We dive into how he first encountered Mormonism, his thoughts on the religion now, the wildest answers he’s ever gotten, and how he’d respond to his own go-to questions.

Listen to the whole episode here at Girlscamp: After Dark.

Robert's TikTok

Robert's Instagram

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HIGH THOUGHTS 💭 Feb 19, 2025

In this episode, I dive into a collection of listener-submitted high thoughts—the kind that range from absurd to awe-inspiring. We’re talking everything from the meaning of life to thigh-high Crocs and baby doppelgängers. Plus, I throw in a few of my own for good measure. Whether you’re a stoner or just someone who loves a good mind-bending musing, I think you’ll enjoy the trip.

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Following reason, not revelation with Alyssa Grenfell Feb 12, 2025

Alyssa’s breaking point with Mormonism came when she realized she should have trusted her own reasoning instead of blindly following 'revelation.' Since then, she has been rebuilding her life and has even authored a book about the reconstruction process. We discuss how she overcame severe depression and self-harm, ultimately finding peace and meaning as an optimistic nihilist.

REFERENCES:

"How to Leave the Mormon Church" by Alyssa Grenfell

Alyssa's YouTube

Alyssa Instagram

Wife No.19

"Not yet a human" photo

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Hot (& Sexy) Takes Feb 05, 2025

I asked for your spiciest takes on sex, dating, marriage, and relationships—and you delivered. On the list? Polyamory, pornography, knowing if you picked the right partner, and surviving Mormon family parties as a single woman. And that’s just the beginning.

REFERENCES:

Abstinence only education research

Aimee Heffernan on Girlscamp "Let's talk about (ex-religious) sex!"

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Free to just be me with Rosie Card Jan 29, 2025

Rosie Card, a well-known progressive Mormon influencer and founder of the LDS temple dress company Q.Noor, spent years pushing for change from within the faith. Now, she’s stepping away from Mormonism and diving into a new chapter, following her own path and exploring endless possibilities.

REFERENCES:

Rosie’s op-ed

Rosie’s Instagram

Jeffrey R. Holland “musket fire” talk

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*TEASER* CES Letter: Twice as Spicy Jan 26, 2025

We're back, baby! It's time for CES Letter Breakdown: Part 2. Along with some top-tier Brigham Young shit talk (the best kind), we’re diving into the fallibility of prophets, issues with the Book of Mormon witnesses, and the glaring incongruencies between Mormonism and science.

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Signs We’re in a Simulation Jan 22, 2025

Ever had a moment that felt like a glitch in the matrix? This episode is all about the simulation theory and the uncanny coincidences, eerie events and too-good-to-be-true moments that made you question reality.

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Making Peace with Your Body with Shannon Ricks Jan 15, 2025

When it comes to reclaiming ourselves, body image often tops the list. Shannon Ricks joins us to explore why our relationships with our bodies became so complicated—and how we can work toward healthier ones. We dive into topics like food, weight, makeup, macro counting, cosmetic surgery, and even the impact of those middle school compliments we all remember.

REFERENCES

Elder Ballard “put a little lipstick on” video

Modern Eve Instagram

Modern Eve website

Glennon Doyle “Your Body is Not Your Masterpiece”

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*TEASER* Hidden Gems of Girlscamp Jan 13, 2025

I’ve dug into submissions past to bring you a smorgasbord of the wildest Mormon stories. We’ve got everything from patriarchal blessings and awkward dating tales to EFY mishaps, sacrament meeting chaos, and (my personal favorite) bizarre bishop stories. Warning: things get weird.

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I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT Jan 08, 2025

Today’s the day! I’ve been sitting on something big about the direction of Girlscamp, and I can’t wait to share it with you. In this episode, I’m breaking down the what and why of this shift. Plus, I'm sharing my tale of converting to (and quickly deconstructing) The Telepathy Tapes and why it was such an emotional journey.

REFERENCES:

Telepathy Tapes

Telepathy Tapes article

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Lessons learned, things loved ❤️ Jan 01, 2025

I’m recapping my 2024 favorites—and notable not-favorites—in books, movies, music, and TV. Plus, I’m sharing some lessons learned. My number one might surprise you!

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*TEASER* CES Letter, But Make It Cute Dec 30, 2024

Who knew the CES Letter could be this much fun? Today, I’m breaking down the first half of the infamous CES Letter—which details major concerns about the history and doctrine of the Mormon church. Don’t worry, I’ve jazzed it up with a lot of commentary and plenty of snark aimed at Brother Joe.

Listen to the full episode here!

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SUGAR DADDY MISSIONARY? Dec 25, 2024

My Christmas gift to you: round 2 of wild card Mormon/religious stories! This time, we’re diving into a very weird LDS take on global warming, pregnancy complications turned Sunday School lesson, and the undeniable need for an “I have Mormon grandparents” support group. Happy Holidays! 🎄

Last year's Christmas episode

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Wild Cards Against Mormon-ity with Stacey Harkey Dec 18, 2024

We’re reading and reacting to your wild card, off-the-wall Mormon stories, and I brought in Stacey Harkey to help me unpack the, well… chaos. And speaking of chaos, these stories deliver. From demonic possession (allegedly caused by questioning polygamy) to the “Three Nephites” saving a dog, to an evil hot chocolate maker—there’s a little bit of everything in this one.

References:

Stacey Harkey on Mormon Stories

Stacey Harkey on Black Menaces

The “breast augmentation” reel

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Confessions, questions & breast augmentation reflections Dec 11, 2024

We’re starting off December’s campfire chat with a rant about my brand new breast implants, and then we’ve got a lot of ground to cover: Mormon criminals, confronting nihilism, being a twin mom, and why so many Dancing with the Stars pros are LDS!

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Good Time Girl(scamp) with Heather Gay Dec 04, 2024

We've got Good Time Girl Heather Gay at Girlscamp! Heather—New York Times bestselling author of Bad Mormon and star of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City—joins us to talk about her new book, Good Time Girl. We chat about what being a "good time girl" means to her, navigating disappointment from Mormon loved ones, and facing beauty standards in the public eye. We also dig into the shame tied to ambition as Mormon women. As a fellow Mormon-born gal who never quite fit the mold, I found so much to relate to in our conversation.

References:

Good Time Girl

Heather Gay Instagram

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*TEASER* The B-Word 🍒 Dec 01, 2024

This week on the Patreon, we're talking boobs! Specifically, my decision to get a breast augmentation. I get into the how, what, when, and why—plus all the baggage that came up around Mormonism, patriarchy, and beauty standards.

But before the boob talk, I share my thoughts on Wicked, some behind-the-scenes details about my upcoming interview with Heather Gay, and a parenting plea for help.

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Mormonism, Motherhood & Death with Madi Murphy West Nov 27, 2024

Madi is finally back—with a new last name and lots of life updates about hitting Mormon milestones in a very non-Mormon way. We discuss how sitting with uncertainty weaves through leaving Mormonism, navigating motherhood, and making sense of death.

References:

Aurora TikTok

Drew Barrymore TikTok

Glennon Doyle quote:

Madi on Girlscamp (March 2023)

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MORMON TRIVIA with Maddy Mitchell Nov 20, 2024

How lucky are we ex-Mormons to have Maddy Mitchell take an interest in our unique upbringing? She brings her own fascinating religious background to the conversation, and we dive into it in depth. Along the way, we discuss finding spirituality outside of religion, managing existential fears, and her fresh take on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. To top it all off, Maddy takes on a little Mormon trivia game I created—because why not have some fun with it?

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Former Mormons react to Heretic Nov 13, 2024

What happens when two ex-Mormon women watch A24’s Heretic, the horror film about sister missionaries and faith deconstruction? A Girlscamp deep-dive! Chelsea Homer joins me to unpack our thoughts and reactions—trust us, there’s a lot to discuss.

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of violence and suicide

References:

Chelsea's Girlscamp episode

Sophie Thatcher article on Mormonism

Lost & Found club

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The WORST thing I did when Mormon Nov 06, 2024

I asked for the scariest things you did or said as Mormons, and you all DELIVERED. We dive into converting friends, spouting homophobic rhetoric, getting married freaky fast, and much more. And I share plenty of my own haunting Mormon moments along the way.

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HELL HOUSE & other scary religious stories Oct 30, 2024

Round 2 of scary religious stories is even spookier than the first! Bentley and I cozied up after dark to read and react to your chilling tales. This round covers haunted pioneer chapels, disembodied hands, a mysterious hair collector, and a late-night sleep paralysis demon who calls himself the "enemy of all righteousness." Happy (and haunted) Halloween!

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*TEASER* The C-Word: Is Mormonism a Cult? Oct 28, 2024

This week on the Patreon, we’re diving into the big question: I’ll walk you through my take on it, break down the academic consensus, and read some of your thoughts and feelings on the matter too. Plus, a fun update—a certain email from A24 just landed in my inbox 👀

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Nightmare on Mormon Street Oct 23, 2024

What’s better than scary stories? Religious scary stories! Today we’re diving into some wild tales: ghosts guarding sacred stuff, a stake president moonlighting as an exorcist, mission apartments with major paranormal vibes, and a spirit buddy named Michael.

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Your religious trauma is real! with Ashley Buckner, LMFT Oct 16, 2024

It’s about time we got another therapist around here. Ashley shares her expertise on all things religious trauma and faith transitions. After getting the lowdown on her mixed-faith upbringing, we dive into what religious trauma really is, how Mormonism operates as a traumatized organization, and—most importantly—how to heal.

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REFERENCES:

Ashley Buckner on Instagram

Ashley Buckner’s email: ashleybucknerlmft@gmail.com

Ashley Buckner’s podcast Sunflower Movement

Information on brainspotting

How to find a brainspotting therapist near you

When Religion Hurts You book

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*TEASER* Friendship Breakup ❤️‍🩹 Oct 15, 2024

This week on the Patreon, I'm sharing some thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned about a friendship fallout I went through this year. Turns out, 65% of people have gone through something like this, and that shit ain't easy. So let’s talk about it!

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Almost ex-communicated with Josie Van Dyke Oct 09, 2024

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal ideation & attempt

Yes, you read that right! At just 16, today's guest, Josie Van Dyke, faced the threat of a Mormon disciplinary council. We dive into what led to that moment and the journey that followed, all the way to Josie's decision to leave Mormonism. Since Josie hosts a podcast where she speaks with people across the Mormon and ex-Mormon spectrum, I also pick her brain about the patterns and insights she's gained from her work.

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Feuding with Dr. Phil Oct 02, 2024

I went on the Dr. Phil show to talk about being ex-religious, and I’ve got THOUGHTS! After a quick rundown of my experience (plus responding to all the drama from those who are upset I even went on), we dive into this month’s campfire chat. We’re tackling tough questions like, 'What should I do if I realize I’m in a toxic marriage?' and 'How do I handle feeling like the token ex-Mormon in my friend group?' It’s a fiery one, so grab a seat by the campfire!

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The Final Nail in the Coffin Sep 25, 2024

Today I'm telling your Mormon funeral stories as we talk through all things grief, death and funerals in the Mormon context. While I attempt to maintain some light-heartedness about this often somber topic, I do end up bawling my eyes out toward the end. You've been warned!

TRIGGER WARNING: child & infant loss

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MORMONISM 101: What do Mormons REALLY believe? Sep 18, 2024

In response to the big Mormon pop culture moment that is The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, I’m putting my missionary hat back on to break down the fundamentals of Mormon doctrine! Because before really diving into soaking, ketamine treatments, soda shops, garments, and patriarchal marriages, you've got to understand the basics. My husband Bentley joins me to help unpack it all and keep me honest. Warning: I get a little heated.

References:

Bentley's intro episode

Mormon temple episode

Modesty episode

Last Podcast on the Left episode on Mormonism

Preach My Gospel manual

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The Secret Life of an (Ex) Mormon Wife with Jessi Ngatikaura Sep 11, 2024

That’s right! We got Jessi Ngatikaura from the current number one show on Hulu “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” Jessi shares about her Mormon upbringing, what led her out of the church and what it was like being the only ex-Mormon cast member on the show. We get into all the Mormon moments including the infamous flask in the hot tub, the baby shower un-invite and the Chippendales fiasco.

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Jesus Christ & toxic masculinity Sep 04, 2024

🔥 It's campfire chat time! 🔥 Today's lineup: a story of an Elder’s Quorum president fiercely defending toxic masculinity, my rant on whether Mormons are really Christians, a quick rundown on why I think LDS doctrine is total BS, and some thoughts on letting go of finding myself.

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REFERENCES

Tara Herbert episode

Aurora TikTok

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What's in a (temple) name? Aug 28, 2024

If you don’t know Emily yet, you’re welcome for the intro! She’s an expert in all things names and where they overlap with Utah/Mormon influencer culture. Today we’re chatting about the Utah name stereotypes (think McKinzleigh), the wild world of Book of Mormon names and what’s going on with the secret temple names. You’re going to love it. She also gives an original theory on why so many influencers are Mormon and gives me a new (new) name!

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Emily's TikTok

Emily's Instagram

Zelph episode

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Family reunion gone... Mormon Aug 21, 2024

There’s nothing more Mormon than a big old family reunion! Unless it’s a big old family reunion hosted at a polygamy compound! Or one that has some temple-style role-play in the woods. Or… well, you’ll just have to listen to this episode and find out.

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Style over (modesty) standards with Victoria Miner Aug 14, 2024

It’s no easy feat to rediscover your style after ditching strict modesty standards. Fashion influencer Victoria Miner comes to Girlscamp to share all her practical tips and tricks on finding your personal style. We talk about modesty as control in Mormonism, the power of self-expression via fashion and the “fugliness” of garments.

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Ex-Mormon musings on Ballerina Farm Aug 07, 2024

Ballerina Farm, Hulu’s newly announced show “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” and my personal wrestle before God around womanhood are the interwoven intro topics for this week’s campfire chat. After connecting these dots, we dive into your submissions, discussing whether I've ever questioned my sexuality, a wild story about a Mormon funeral, and the age-old question: do all dogs really go to heaven?

References:

Ballerina Farm article

LDS doctrine on animals

Drew Afualo on TikTok

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Down the K-hole! Jul 31, 2024

I’m doing ketamine treatment! And I’ve got a lot to say about it! Today I’m recapping the how, what and why of my own ketamine therapy, including what led me to it. I share my takeaways, which include thoughts on Mormon faith deconstruction, motherhood, friendship breakups, self-compassion and ~the meaning of life~. I also talk about my recent trip to the South of France and my favorite spots we visited.

Science Vs. ketamine episode

Ashie Adams Instagram profile

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Transracial adoption into a Mormon family Jul 24, 2024

Tara Herbert opens up about how her identity was repeatedly erased: as a transracial adoptee in a white Mormon family, as a Black woman misled about the church’s problematic past, and as a mother excluded by men from spiritual rituals. She also shares her journey of rediscovering her identity and worth outside the confines of the Mormon church.

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References:

Tara’s podcast “Pouty Mouth”

Mormon Stories episode with Courtney Kimpel

Jane Manning

Green Flake

Curse of Cain

Breaking Down Patriarchy podcast

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STALKED on a Mormon mission Jul 17, 2024

We’re telling more mission tales, focusing on the lack of safety many missionaries experienced. From stalkers and hostile governments to dangerous companions and hurricanes, there's no shortage of ways to feel unsafe on a Mormon mission. The common thread? Those in charge doing the absolute least to ensure our safety.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains descriptions of unsafe situations, including being held up at gunpoint, stalking, and assault.

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Experiencing domestic violence in an LDS marriage Jul 10, 2024

Only three days into her honeymoon, Gabby's husband began abusing her. She believed he was a good Mormon boy because he’d always played the part. The violence continued, sometimes even triggered by church rules, until she found the strength to leave. Soon after, she discovered she was pregnant. Gabby shares how the church made her more vulnerable to abuse and how part of her healing journey was stepping away from an orthodox approach to Mormonism.

Trigger warning: this episode contains descriptions of physical abuse

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Girl(scamp), so confusing Jul 03, 2024

As Charli XCX knows, being a girl can be so confusing—especially for a post-Mormon! Around the campfire today, we're chatting about grieving identity after a faith transition, a stake president who needs to grow up and learn some social skills, and why I haven't officially removed my records from the church yet.

I also respond to submissions about:

- How difficult it feels not to proselytize post-Mormonism after leaving

- Saying no to family members about attending church events

- Another common misconception about ex-Mormons- that we leave because we can't live in nuanced spaces

- If it's ethical to lie to Mormon parents about queerness

- A brainwashed missionary brother

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Quote by Cheryl Strayed

Title reference (Charli XCX song)

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Conversion therapy to drag diva Jun 26, 2024

Meredith Peterson shares the journey that led to her coming out as a transgender woman. She tried to live the model Mormon life, including going on a mission and graduating from Brigham Young University. She even had to endure horrible conversion therapy sessions in a family friend’s basement. After coming out as gay, she discovered the art of drag. Her fabulous drag persona, Ms. Mer, helped her ultimately embrace her true self as Meredith.

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r/ExMormon Jun 19, 2024

Buckle up for the best (and craziest) posts from the exmormon subreddit. I’ve curated wild stories, thought-provoking questions, and hilarious comments from my favorite Reddit page to scroll through late at night. We’re talking about murderous moms (yes, you read that right), a Sunday school lesson about Taylor Swift, and a return missionary getting engaged after just one day. Like I said, buckle up!

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Meeting myself after Mormonism with Kelsey Wells Jun 12, 2024

After 10 years, Kelsey Wells is finally ready to share her whole story about leaving Mormonism. We dive into her devout Mormon upbringing, her husband leaving the church before her, and the intense social and emotional fallout she faced after discovering the church wasn’t true. Then we chat about how she's rebuilt her sense of self and spirituality since then.

Kelsey's Redefine Fitness episode "The Day I Died"
CES Letter

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You can find Kelsey Wells on Instagram

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Don't be mean to missionaries! Jun 05, 2024

First Wednesday of the month means it’s time for a campfire chat! I’m reading and responding to your thoughts, questions and advice inquiries. Some things we’re chatting about:

How I’m REALLY doing since my dad’s death
The way you should treat the Mormon missionaries
If ex-religious people are more educated and enlightened than religious ones
Why it sucks to go on a “stateside” mission
How to help a listener (8 years married) to finally orgasm

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SHELF-BREAKER(S) with Zelph on the Shelf May 29, 2024

Many of us who are ex-religious can pinpoint a moment when everything came crashing down. Today, we are talking through those moments. They run the gamut—from reading multiple accounts of Joseph Smith’s First Vision and hearing Jeffrey R. Holland’s “musket fire” talk to having a friend come out as gay and watching a Scientology documentary that felt eerily familiar. These moments are fascinating, as is reflecting on all the things we put up with before the shelf got too heavy. Remember, shelf-breaker, don’t you mess around with me!

You can find more of Sam & Tanner at @zelphontheshelf on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube!

Jeffrey R. Holland "musket fire" talk: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/elder-jeffrey-r-holland-2021-byu-university-conference

Under the Banner of Heaven: https://www.hulu.com/series/under-the-banner-of-heaven-9c4ae394-e9c4-4a6d-985e-314270602c6b?&cmp=7958&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BM+Search+TV+Shows&utm_term=under%20the%20banner%20of%20heaven&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwgdayBhBQEiwAXhMxtkzA4M6JUjEYG7e3NtRwoH8QXkvIrCdnBCVQTCs_ouQ3oNNFIX4Z_BoCrj8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Multiple "First Vision" accounts: https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/site/accounts-of-the-first-vision

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Ex-Mormon Mean Girl May 22, 2024

Today, I unpack the Mormon-run "Ward Radio" hate episode about little old me! I discuss my reservations about snark content and then proceed to dive into a snarky episode of my own. But hey, I do it much better than they do. And I guess I've got to live up to my new "mean girl" title somehow.

Cultural Hall recap of Ward Radio video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-lrcy51krc&t=185s

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BRIEF DEATH EXPERIENCE May 15, 2024

Andrew flatlined and had an afterlife experience that really shook up his Mormon worldview when he was brought back to life. This kicked off an unraveling of faith in his 40s that ultimately led to leaving the Mormon church. We talk about his leaving and reconstructing, as well as connect over losing close family members, swap mission stories and appreciate being able to relate across an age gap. This conversation meant so much to me and I hope you enjoy it too.

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I had a COW at EFY May 08, 2024

EFY aka Especially for Youth aka Mormon youth summer camp- let's get into it. From COWs (crushes of the week) to creepy counselors to Christian worship knock-off music being sung in unison, there's a lot to talk about.

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Married people have crushes too?! May 01, 2024

My partner Bentley joins to kick-off our new once-a-month campfire chat tradition. We answers all your burning questions (how to start swearing, what not to bring up around Mormon family members, how I feel about the criticism for wearing a tank top dress to a temple wedding). Then things get a little juicier as we open up about how we navigate porn and "crushes" on other people.

For the full work crush story, listen to OVERSHARING IS CARING.
For the "Aimee episode about sex," listen to Let's talk about (ex-religious) sex!
"I don't give a f- a sh*t" video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/0rC9M_h7Hb8
The tank top dress in front of the temple video referenced can be found on @girlscamppodcast on Instagram or @hayleyrawle on TikTok

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FOUND JESUS, LEFT MORMONISM with Nicole Mitchell Apr 24, 2024

Connecting with Jesus was the catalyst for Nicole leaving the LDS church. After telling her Mormon story (which includes addiction, foster care & a temple marriage at 18), we dig into her love of Jesus now as a post-Mormon. I admit my own Christianity hangups and we get into all the tricky dynamics between people of Christian faith and those who have deconstructed it.

Note: I know the video is out of focus :/

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PATRIARCHAL CURSINGS Apr 17, 2024

We’re talking Mormon fortune-telling aka patriarchal blessings. And how, for many ex-Mormons, they were less of a blessing and more of a curse. I give a little patriarchal blessing 101, share about the significant way my blessing changed my life and then read and unpack listener submissions about the crazy things their blessings said.

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Let's talk about (ex-religious) sex! Apr 10, 2024

Sex therapist and self-proclaimed sex witch Aimee Heffernan talks us through all things sexual health. She answers questions about pornography, masturbation and non-monogamy from a post-religious perspective. Her openness and enthusiasm about sex is inspiring, especially for those of us with a lot of baggage (ahem, purity culture) around our own sexuality.

References:

Aimee Heffernan @aimeeheff

Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski

Come Together- Emily Nagoski

Wardless podcast: https://www.wardlesspodcast.com/

Chelsea Homer @chels_homer

Natasha Helfer @natashahelfermft

Celeste Davis @celestemdavis

Carly @uncertainlycarly

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Ruby Franke & the Mormonism of it all Apr 03, 2024

When it comes to the Ruby Franke case, many of us are wondering- how Mormon is all of this? Samantha Shelley and I answer that question today from our ex-Mormon perspective. We discuss purity culture, the character of Mormon God, when "honor thy father and mother" goes too far and how we feel about Ruby and Jodi's recent statements in court.

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CATHOLIC SCHOOL DROPOUT Mar 27, 2024

Evelyn fell DEEP into fundamental Catholicism as a struggling teen, to the point of only wearing skirts (even to go swimming). But once she started at Franciscan University, the fundamentalism became too much. Her journey includes discovering her sexuality, being told her panic attacks might be demonic and ultimately being intimidated into withdrawing from Franciscan. Let me tell ya, fundamental Catholicism might just give Mormonism a run for its money.

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I KISSED A GIRL AT GIRLS CAMP Mar 20, 2024

Gather 'round the fire for some wild stories from Mormon girl's camp. These tales include traumatizing object lessons, "snipe hunting" and getting secretly stoned under the stars. And I even sing my favorite girl's camp song! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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THE CHURCH BROKE OUR FRIENDSHIP Mar 13, 2024

BFFs since third grade, Tanner and I experienced most of our faith journeys together. When Tanner came out as gay and then left the Mormon church, I was still hanging on to my progressive Mormon ways. Because of these differences, we broke up. Now that we’ve reconciled, we have lots to say about how the church can come in between people. Thank God we’re back! And, dare I say, more powerful than ever. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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OVERSHARING IS CARING Mar 06, 2024

TMI? Never! This episode I answer all your juicy questions and make a few confessions along the way. We’re chatting about wandering thoughts while married, my beef with progressive Mormons, making sense of past spiritual experiences and what I think about “homewreckers.” Thanks for letting me (over) share. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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INFERTILITY & FAITH w/Jaci Marie Smith Feb 28, 2024

Jaci tells the whole story of her infertility journey, focusing on the faith aspect of things. We discuss how we feel about “God’s timing”, how Jaci hopes to parent outside of the strict rules of Mormonism and what it's like to be a couple of gals who sometimes need to be "humbled" by whatever higher power might be out there. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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FORGIVE US FOR WE HAVE SINNED Feb 21, 2024

Today Ty French and I get to play Mormon bishop and, spoiler alert, we’re sending some of you straight to jail (forget the sacrament)! We read your confessions which include a steamy encounter with a cousin, a “teensy affair” with a BYU professor and sexting with the Elders. I don’t know if I’ll ever see Mormons the same way again. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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EXMO MOM TELLS ALL Feb 14, 2024

Today I'm getting really real about the realities of motherhood, especially as a recovering Mormon. I talk about feeling like a failure to be properly "maternal", the strain parenting has been on my marriage and if I think I would have had kids in another life as a never-Mormon. Let's just say, I'll be having a vulnerability hangover after this one. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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SUBSCRIBE TO SELF WORTH w/Jenna Rammell Feb 07, 2024

Jenna Rammell, founder & CEO, opens up about stepping away from Mormonism after years of "unsubscribing" from the many facets of it that felt uncomfortable her whole life. As a mother of four, she and her husband have found new ways of establishing spiritual rituals and meaning as a family. And, most importantly, she's living for herself for the first time. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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What the *eff* is Kolob?! Jan 31, 2024

Welcome to the weird world of Mormon deep doctrine! We’ll be answering the titular question as well as: does Satan control the waters? Is Bigfoot actually Cain? Do all Mormons need to move to Missouri ASAP? Oh and I discover what a T.K. Smoothie is and… it’s not the newest Jamba Juice menu offering. I did a lot of my fact-checking for this episode here: https://mormonr.org/categories --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Psychedelics & Spirituality w/Christian Snuffer Jan 24, 2024

If there's one thing post-Mormons tend to be interested in, it's magic mushrooms. Christian talks in depth about psychedelics as medicine and how they can be also be used to help re-establish a spiritual center after deconstructing religion. And, obviously, I manage to get some free therapy along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MORMON DATING GONE WRONG Jan 17, 2024

Welcome to the weird world of Mormon dating. Bentley joins me for moral support this week because these stories are particularly wild ones! There are scripture study dates, rampant misogynistic remarks and crocs with no socks (you'll see). --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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From religious OCD to self love Jan 10, 2024

The Mormon church was EVERYTHING to today's guest Jenna Jarvis- so much so that she was diagnosed with religious OCD. She shares about what it was like to find wholeness away from Mormonism. Her story includes love songs to herself, a romcom worthy European summer and so much more! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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ONE YEAR of Girlscamp! Jan 03, 2024

Happy Girlscamp-iversary! We're celebrating one year together (albeit a tad early) by talking about the lessons I learned in 2023. These range from how I've been taking care of my physical/mental health to why I think smut is necessary for post-Mormon girlies to how to grow as a content creator. I can't wait for all we have in store for 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Pulp(it) Fiction Dec 27, 2023

Except for it's non-fiction! These stories of wild things said from a Mormon church pulpit prove that truth is indeed stranger than fiction. The tales include a public admission of an affair, a self-proclaimed Messiah and a conspiracy theory against the Mormon prophet. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Existential crisis alert Dec 20, 2023

There’s nothing like working through the “Questions of the Soul” (a la Preach my Gospel) to get one pondering the meaning of existence. This week I compare and contrast my post-Mormon thoughts vs. Mormonism’s answers on God, life’s purpose and how to find happiness. It's a fun one! References: Brittany Hartley @nononsensespirituality Kurt Vonnegut "Slaughterhouse Five" --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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In memoriam of my dad Dec 13, 2023

My dad died unexpectedly at age 54. Today I talk about what it's been like to process his death, especially the spiritual side of it all. I also read the words I spoke at his funeral. Mostly, I share what his life and love meant to me. And what they mean to me now. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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How do I make friends! w/Lucy Hutchins Dec 06, 2023

Finally! We’re talking ALL things female friendship, especially when it comes to mixed-faith ones. But first, Lucy shares her own faith journey and what she learned along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Merry X(Mormon)-Mas Nov 29, 2023

It's Christmastime! For those who celebrate. And for those who celebrate but it's a little ~complicated.~ On top of telling crazy Mormon Christmas stories, I talk about thoughts and ideas for doing Christmas after your faith has changed, how I feel about Christ generally and I give a couple big life updates too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Sister missionaries turned lovers Nov 22, 2023

You heard that right! Lola and Jayden were sister missionaries serving in the same area when they struck up a friendship that turned into a romance. After a kiss that changed everything, they've had to navigate coming out, leaving the church and being ostracized by family members. It's been difficult, but they've been able to do it together. TW: Suicidal ideation --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Your bishop said WHAT? Nov 15, 2023

We’re back to round out the crazy bishop conversation (for now). Bentley joins to help breakdown more stories about bishops which include odd and unsound advice, confessions at the pulpit and, of course, a fair amount of sexism. I guess it wouldn’t be a Girlscamp episode without at least a little feminine (+Bentley) rage. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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BIG, BAD MORMON BISHOP Nov 08, 2023

Fair warning, this episode is full of feminine rage. Because if anything warrants ranting and raging, it’s Mormon bishop stories. We focus today on the sex-related stuff- inappropriate worthiness interviews, creepy modesty callouts and a whole lot of sex-shaming. Because if Mormon bishops have one thing, it's the audacity. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MORMON MOM, EX-MORMON DAUGHTER Oct 31, 2023

What do you get when a Relief Society president, stake Young Women's counselor and exmormon record a podcast episode? You'll have to listen and find out! My mom and sisters (active LDS) join Girlscamp today and we talk about all the ways we navigate our mixed-faith family dynamic. We discuss doctrinal beliefs around degrees of heaven, how they felt when I told them I'd left the church and what they make of this podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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JOSEPH SMITH'S A WITCH Oct 25, 2023

Mormon history can get, well, witchy. So in honor of Halloween, we're exploring all of the folklore magic elements of Joseph Smith and the start of the Mormon church. We're talking mystical parchments, spirit guardians and astrological talismans- just to name a few. Let's get into it, witches. SOURCES: Mormon Stories essay: https://www.mormonstories.org/truth-claims/joseph-smith/treasure/ Mormon Stories episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2i4mUggxFUJHoXuynL7GOH?si=9de2b1dcb86f4086 Mormonism Research Ministry: https://www.mrm.org/folk-magic --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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ELDER EXORCIST & OTHER SPOOKY MORMON TALES Oct 18, 2023

The intersection of Mormonism and scary stories is surprisingly fruitful. Or is it that surprising? Bayley and I have a spooky and silly time reading all your tales of ghosts, demons and devils but with a Mormon twist. And we explore some haunted Mormon lore too. Listeners beware! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Being ignored as a Black woman Oct 11, 2023

Feeling entirely overlooked on the front row during Relief Society was Brialee's last straw that led to her leaving the LDS church. Before that, she had given Mormonism - which she was baptized into at age 9 without her mom's permission- her all. Bria speaks about navigating foster care and adoption as a child, facing intense pressure to dress modestly and discovering historic and current racism toward Black people in the church. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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*Uncensored* Campfire Q&A Oct 04, 2023

I said not to hold back with the questions and you certainly didn’t! In this solo episode I address the full gamut of post-Mormon subjects- from pornography to officially removing records from the church to my spiritual beliefs now. Like any good campfire chat, I’m keeping it real. Pull up a chair! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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So we're drinking coffee now?! w/Emilie Kiser Sep 27, 2023

After converting to Mormonism at 17-years-old, Emilie Kiser was all in on the religion. She opens up about the details of her whole faith journey into and then out of Mormonism. We discuss Mormon convert imposter syndrome, what it's like to gain a gigantic following on TikTok while navigating a faith transition and the moment she and her husband Brady decided to distance from the church (hint: it involves a cup of coffee). And Emilie will have you laughing the whole way through. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Finding the magic in post-Mormonism w/Amber Fillerup Sep 20, 2023

Welcome to Ambyland, campers! This week Amber shares her Mormon/Post-Mormon saga- from snark forums and slut-shaming to sex-positivity and self-love. She speaks to the magic of this new chapter in her life and how she's brought bits and pieces of Mormonism into it too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Spilling the Mormon temple secrets Sep 13, 2023

With all the mystery that shrouds the Mormon temple, I do my best to lay it all out on the table. After an (albeit chaotic) rundown of what goes on inside, we talk through your stories, experiences, thoughts and feelings. I laugh, I cry and I process a good amount of religious trauma along the way. Hey, what else is Girlscamp for? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Reformed mean girls for Jesus w/Abby Benson-Schwallie Sep 06, 2023

Abby grew up as devout an evangelical Christian as they come, but when she went to college for a theology degree things quickly started to shift. Now she finds joy and peace outside of organized religion in a state of "theological fluidity". We swap stories of our intense religious upbringings, geek out about the literary richness of the bible and relate on giving up our former God-ordained mean girl ways. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Why are so many influencers Mormon?! w/Kylie Katich Aug 30, 2023

Before we dive into the Mormon influencer phenomenon, Kylie and I discuss her upbringing as a Utah non-Mormon who went to Catholic school. We compare the differences between what we learned about Jesus, swap sex education stories and analyze Kylie's burning question about whether or not Mormons think she's going to hell. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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The nitty gritty of (post-Mormon) grief Aug 25, 2023

Grief is a beast and adding a post-Mormon layer makes it even more confusing and complicated. After Maddy’s dad died, she has deconstructed not only her ideas of death, but also of life. We speak about the ways Mormons tend to handle loss and how Maddy’s approach has been vastly different. There are no easy answers, but there is a lot of discovery, hope and life along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Who I am since my dad died Aug 23, 2023

Last year Maddy's dad suddenly and unexpectedly died. Today she opens up about what it's like to experience such an immense loss, especially so fresh after deconstructing Mormonism. But before we dive into the nitty gritty of grief, we back up and talk about Maddy’s Mormon story and what led her to eventually leave the church (which includes a roommate turned romantic partner, a penchant for plant medicine and much more). --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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My Big Fat Mormon Wedding Aug 16, 2023

It doesn't get more quintessentially Mormon than a low-budget cultural hall wedding reception between two 20-year-olds who've known each other for a few months. Or so I thought, until I read the wedding story submissions for today's episode. I give the lay of the land on Mormon wedding culture before diving into the stories which include a temple ceremony panic attack, a mid-wedding-day loss of virginity and a sibling mega-wedding that should've made it on CNN. Enjoy! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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I didn't fit the "Mormon mold" w/Indy Blue Aug 09, 2023

Growing up Mormon comes with some baggage and Indy Blue opens up about what it's been like for her to unpack. She speaks about her experience facing judgment as a teen on the internet, how her now-husband helped her see a life outside of Mormonism and how she's expanded her spirituality since leaving. We also discuss why we're both trying to tap more into our feminine energy and how Barbie functions as a perfect Mormon metaphor. Join us! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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Mixed-faith meets its match Aug 02, 2023

What do you do when your wife leaves the LDS church and your whole world is upended? Zac Hayward speaks in today's episode to the believing side of a mixed-faith marriage before he also eventually left. We discuss in-depth the harmful rhetoric around those who leave, his hopes to become mission president and the role of church history in deconstruction. And there may be a tear or two shed along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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I'm post-Mormon but can't kick the patriarchy! Jul 26, 2023

Laura Danger of ThatDarnChat lends her expertise on creating an equitable split of the domestic labor, especially for those of us raised religious with very restrictive views on gender roles. We talk about my viral Mother's Day video calling out "all men", what to do if your partner thinks they're helping out around the house more than they really are, how women can learn to prioritize their own needs and all that's illuminated in buying a pool floaty. Fair Play: https://www.fairplaylife.com/ Emotional Labor book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Labor-Invisible-Shaping-Lives/dp/1250777356 Where to find Laura: @thatdarnchat @timetoleanpod --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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What's REALLY going on at BYU? Jul 19, 2023

Today Reagan Curtis joins me to dissect what goes down at BYU - the good, the bad and the beard cards. As THE Mormon religious university, looking at BYU culture sheds light on a lot of things about Mormonism generally. We dig into rogue firesides led by progressive professors, outdated religious ideas passed off as academia and landlords who report their tenants for... well, you'll just have to listen and find out. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MONSTER...ER, MORMON-IN-LAW Jul 12, 2023

The Mormon in-laws are, well, Mormon in-lawing. Today we're unpacking stories about raspberry leaf tea drama, a MIL refusing to wash tanktops and a wedding that grandpa refused to attend. Along the way I share about my own in-law situation, where I'm at with deconstructing Christianity and how I'm feeling hormonally. You never know what you're gonna get, but that's how we like it here at Girlscamp. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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POSTMO STARTER PACK Jul 05, 2023

Bentley is back at Girlscamp! We share our reactions to your post-Mormon starter pack submissions (the classic steps of leaving the church, "must-haves" and "must-dos" and all of the post-Mo stereotypes). Along the way we chat everything from Game of Thrones to Skims underwear to Starbucks orders to the differences between a Mormon and a post-Mormon sex life. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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TRAUMA ON TREK Jun 28, 2023

I hope you have your bonnets and bloomers ready, because this week we're diving in to all the wild things that went down on Mormon trek. Listeners beware, there is some true trauma. But there's some lighthearted trek craziness along the trail as well. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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HOE ERA W/JACI MARIE SMITH Jun 21, 2023

By popular demand, Jaci Marie Smith comes to Girlscamp! I was honored to sit down with Jaci and talk through her story of leaving Mormonism. She shares about her relationship to religion growing up, her reasons for stepping away and how she chooses to share on a very public platform about her post-Mormon journey now. And of course, we can't help but frequently mention how we're in our hoe era. Jaci is an icon and an inspiration and now she's a camper too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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PALM READING & PATRIARCHAL BLESSINGS W/ASH ADAMS Jun 14, 2023

Get ready to get enchanted by Ash Adams. Ash shares the spiritual path she took from ultra-traditional Mormon (and self-proclaimed Duggar wannabe) to palm reader with a deeply expansive view of spirituality. Among other things, we compare palm readings and patriarchal blessings, share predictions of the future of the LDS church and dive into how deeply rooted Mormonism is in our identities. Chatting with Ash was deeply spiritually enlightening to me. I can't wait for you to listen in. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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POST-MO TESTIMONY MEETING Jun 07, 2023

Gather 'round the fire for a good old girls camp testimony meeting. But this time, we're doing it our way! I share your testimonies of moving on from Mormonism- what you've learned, what you've gained, how you've found peace. There's talk of not paying tithing, finding lost items, parental relationships and so much more. No promises, but you may feel the post-Mormon spirit burning in your bosom. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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SELF DISCOVERY & THE TRANSGENDER EXPERIENCE May 31, 2023

Kadie comes on the pod today to share her experience leaving the Mormon church and then discovering she is transgender. She tells about growing up in a religion with strict gender constructs, deciding to serve a mission despite some Reddit discoveries about Mormonism, getting married at BYU and then divorced, and how she ultimately realized she is transgender. While her experience as a transgender woman is unique, her journey of self discovery and embracing who she is will resonate with all of us campers. IG: @1kadenweber --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MORMON "MAGIC UNDERWEAR" AKA GARMENTS May 24, 2023

Magic underwear, Jesus jammies, angel chaps... that's right, we're talking about Mormon garments. And boy is there a lot to cover. And there WAS a lot covered when I was a garment wearing gal myself. We talk through a lil' history of garments, what it was like to wear them (think body image issues, sensory problems, general discomfort) and what it's been like to stop wearing them. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MODEST ISN'T HOTTEST May 17, 2023

Get ready to step into your feminine rage as we talk about all things Mormon modesty. First I tell my own tale of modesty run ins as a Mormon teen and then we dive into your experiences. There are stories of t-shirts required over swimsuits, stapling fabric onto knee length skirts and an 8-year-old being chastised for wearing spaghetti straps. The conclusion? Modest is not, in fact, hottest. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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POSTMORMON PIONEERS W/SAL OSBORNE May 10, 2023

Come hang with Sal Osborne and I! Sal gives us campers a behind the scenes look at what went into her Hulu documentary Mormon No More. She shares more insight into her upbringing, why she left the church and where she's at now. We talk about divorce, raising kids outside of religion, confessions in a Mormon mom friend's mini van, becoming post-Mormon pioneers and much, much more. P.S. The sound is a little wonky in some places on this one- I'm sorry! I'm still learning the ropes of virtual interviews, thank you for bearing with me! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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PARDON MY FRENCH W/TY FRENCH May 03, 2023

Ty French is here and he did not come to play! We walk through his whole story- coming out, leaving Mormonism and finding his dream life in LA. We discuss the LDS view of "loving your neighbor", having hard faith conversations with friends, the weirdness of Utah soda shops and the dead giveaways of a post-Mormon. Pardon our French, or don't! We don't care, we're just having a good time unpacking our religious trauma and laughing along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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LEAVING FOR LOVE W/TISHMAL Apr 26, 2023

The ethereal Rachel Brockbank (artist and native name Tishmal) graces Girlscamp today with her post-Mormon story. She shares of her struggles with the church while in it, how love led her out of it and how her music is a diary of all the emotion along the way. She also speaks to her Native heritage and how that informs her spiritual journey both then and now. I was hanging on to her every word! I know you will be too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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GIRLSCAMP GOES TO THERAPY Apr 19, 2023

No more unauthorized therapizing by yours truly - today we are joined by an actual therapist! Danielle Calder specializes in religious trauma and faith transition and she's here to answer all of your Qs on those topics. She speaks from professional experience, but also from her personal experience as a post-Mormon woman in a mixed-faith marriage. We discuss how to tell your parents about your faith transition, overcoming religious phobias and even get into all the complexity of Exmo TikTok. Get ready to get healing! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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GIRLSCAMP GOES TO THERAPY Apr 19, 2023

Summary Placeholder Episode ID: 68893276

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BOYSCAMP Apr 12, 2023

Girlscamp? More like boys camp! This week we've got a panel of guys to give us an inside view on their post-Mormon male perspective. Bentley, Jed and Kallen open up about a whole range of topics including unpacking a patriarchal upbringing, dealing with shame around sex/masturbation and rediscovering their identity away from the church. They are vulnerable and honest and- fair warning- more than once they burst simultaneously into song. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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POSTMORMON PARENTHOOD Apr 05, 2023

If parenting weren't complicated enough, throw post-Mormonism into the mix! This week I discuss what I hope to teach my kids, how I face the fear of raising children outside of organized religion and all the ways I've reimagined motherhood since leaving Mormonism. I also share about my infertility journey and how it coincided with my path out of the church. I may ramble on for a bit about perceptions of "post-Mormon people" and squaring up with Jeffrey R. Holland on Instagram as well. All in a days work here at Girlscamp! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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GETTING RIGHT FROM PURITY CULTURE Mar 29, 2023

Purity culture failed us and *effed* us big time and Ellen Young and I share plenty of examples to prove it. Some highlights: tingly "devils lube", a girls camp chant about growing bigger boobs and sexually impure women being compared to a poopy brownie (you read that right) during Sunday school. It's a wild ride! Ultimately, as Ellen says herself "pleasure is a human right" and we're all trying to figure out how to reclaim that energy and undo all the other stuff. So let's have a little fun on the journey there. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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FUNNY FOR A GIRL(SCAMP) W/MADI MURPHY Mar 22, 2023

Has Girlscamp peaked so soon?! This week the enchanting Madi Murphy of The Bad Broadcast tells all re:leaving Mormonism. Along the ride she talks about embracing the anger phase, finding truth in Pixar movies and why she thinks we’re all so obsessed with each other’s faith status. We also relate on being reformed judgmental bitches. Madi has such good insight into the faith journey process and I bet you’ll leave the convo feeling understood and inspired- I definitely did. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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MRS. MIXED-FAITH MARRIAGE MENTOR Mar 15, 2023

I pushed through some serious laryngitis to bring you today's episode with our mixed-faith mentor, Jacquelyn Covey. Jacquelyn shares her story starting out as a teen bride, going through a deeply challenging mixed-faith marriage and coming out on the other side closer to her partner and herself than before. She has tools galore that are applicable in any mixed-faith relationship (aka all relationships). Stay tuned 'till the end for an important note about the episode and a bonus late night ramble from yours truly about some of the emotions I've been experiencing around podcasting lately. xoxo Girlscamp girl --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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A WORD TO THE WISE ON THE WORD OF WISDOM Mar 08, 2023

Today we talk about first time experiences with all the Mormon forbidden substances. There's stories about getting high at Disneyland, enlisting a mentor before having a drink at a work party and going to "coffee church" every Sunday morning. I discuss how I navigate drugs and alcohol as a post-Mormon who grew up around substance abuse. And I defend my preference for Diet Coke over coffee. There may not be many words to the wise, but there are many words about the Word of Wisdom. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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RECONNECTING WITH SPIRITUALITY POST MORMONISM Mar 01, 2023

McKenna Petty comes to Girlscamp to tell us about her experience getting spiritual answers that contradicted what she was raised to believe. We talk about what spirituality means to us now, why the temple is so stressful and warn against the Joseph Smiths of our day. Basically, we’re just a couple of best friends talking about how good we feel to have reconnected to our spiritual selves again- especially when it’s with a glass of wine at a communal dinner. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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IN OUR POSTMORMON FRIENDSHIP ERA Feb 22, 2023

Listen and be graced by the wisdom of Chelsea Homer! Chelsea chats all about how to tap into community and form healthy and fulfilling friendships after leaving the structure of the Mormon church. She also shares about what it’s like to leave the church publicly, why her honeymoon was a bit of a train wreck and how she and her husband navigated a mixed-faith marriage. Bonus: A creative hack if you ever find yourself with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew. Faith Journey Meetups Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1290631704424963 Lost and Found Club: https://www.instagram.com/lostandfound.club/ Marriage on a Tightrope: https://www.instagram.com/marriageonatightrope/ Uplift Kids: https://www.instagram.com/upliftkids/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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CRAZY MORMON MISSION STORIES Feb 15, 2023

Tommy Johnson is on the pod today to react to your wild (and troubling) tales from your Mormon missions. We cover rebel missionary groups, militaristic mission presidents, a Joseph Smith shrine and companions who bite… literally. Let’s heal from our mission trauma together! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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POST MORMON MARRIAGE THERAPY Feb 08, 2023

This week I’m joined by the first guest of the pod- my husband, Bentley Rawle! We chat candidly about what it’s like to marry as (very) young Mormons and then leave the church together. There’s talk of sex and substances, gender roles and guilt. We even share our hot takes on ex-Mormon swingers. Come along for the ride! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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FINDING PEACE OUTSIDE OF MORMONISM Feb 01, 2023

So I left the Mormon church, now what? Well it turns out, as the Pinterest graphics suggest, sometimes the end is just a beginning. I talk this week about my new beliefs, wearing a tank top for the first time, navigating post-Mormon anger and telling my family I left the church at a public restaurant. And, of course, there are some existential musings along the way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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WHY I LEFT THE MORMON CHURCH Jan 25, 2023

In today’s inaugural episode, we’re talking about the vision for the Girlscamp podcast (hint: community and connection) and all the weird things that bubble up when you start talking about post-Mormonism publicly. Then things get a bit vulnerable as I dive into the how, why and when I left the Mormon church. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hayley-rawle/support

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