Generation.Mom

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Are You a Generation.Mom? Jun 24, 2018

Show notes

What exactly is the new face of motherhood? Generation.Mom mothers find themselves in an interesting situation: being both a real person and a virtual person, so how do they balance changing diapers with looking great for Instagram? Today, Lara and Jenn talk about what modern motherhood really is.

Modern moms are having their children later in life.

That also means that modern moms have a very strong sense of who they are. They've developed a career, where in the past, they typically only had jobs. So the big question is how do you retain your identity while adding motherhood to it? Lara and Jenn talk about how they met – at a support group for new moms, and both of them were wondering if they were even up to the challenge of getting their lives, their relationships back.

There's often a disconnect between what mothers say and what they feel.

You've heard it yourself, especially if your friends had children before you: "Oh, I'm so in love with my baby!" But is that always the case? No, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some mothers feel a disconnect in the beginning – both Lara and Jenn did – and it's more common than you think. They talked over wine and strollers about teething, sleep habits, and solid foods, but it wasn't until they broke down and were completely honest with each other that the healing truly began. They share the story of the first night they were honest about motherhood not just with each other, but with themselves.

How and why Generation.Mom was born.

Jenn and Lara realized what they had together was too good not to share. They decided to create a community of modern moms where they could support each other, be honest with themselves, and find their own identities once again. It's by moms, FOR moms, and while Lara and Jenn have a lot in common, they also have some key differences. They might not agree on everything, but they hold each other accountable – and they'll do the same for you.

Generation.Mom is about more than having a baby.

Modern moms aren't just mothers; they're entrepreneurs and professionals. They've got side hustles, teams, and varied skill sets. Today's moms are a different breed of woman – self-assured and ready to take the world on, baby on her hip and smartphone in hand. So – are YOU a Generation.Mom?

Supermom vs. Superself Jun 24, 2018

Show notes

You've seen the 'supermoms' plastered all over social media. They've got it all together: the husband, the kids, the career, the volunteering, the soccer practice, the perfect makeup and hair… how do they do it? Or are they pulling the wool over your eyes? Either way, Lara and Jenn have a message for you. You don't need to be a supermom, and if we're honest, it probably isn't even possible. Holding yourself to that standard will only make you feel like a failure. What you need to be is your superself.

Social media is a 'highlights reel,' not reality.

We always want to put our best foot forward. Show the clean house, the smiling children, and the successes of motherhood. We DON'T want to share the truth: Cheerios between the couch cushions that have probably been there a few months, screaming fits (both you and the kids), and the look of utter exhaustion that is on your face 90% of the time.

When it's okay to look like a supermom.

For Lara, she needs a clean house and a solid schedule. Her career requires her to keep her appearance worthy of social media. So why does it bother her to be called a supermom? Because she's really just being her superself. She thrives in that environment, but Lara is NOT immune to the troubles that every other mom faces. But the deeper problem is when her life looks like an impossible standard, and she is painfully aware of the effect it has on other moms.

What being a supermom really means.

Being a supermom isn't about having it all together. It's being your superself. Maybe you don't thrive in an ordered environment. Maybe your kids don't. Or maybe you and the kids are opposites. It's all about finding the right balance where you're doing your best mothering while honoring who you are. You also have to understand that no matter where your balance is, it won't be without hardships and sacrifice.

Don't compare yourself with other moms.

What's right for them and their families isn't right for you and yours. What matters is that you're happy, your kids are happy, and you still have a little time for yourself and your own dreams – not what that looks like on the outside. Take an honest inventory of your own expectation of yourself as a wife, mother, and professional. Are your standards realistic?

How to be your superself.

Jenn believes you should set boundaries for what you need to be the best version of yourself, and that includes taking care of yourself rather than allow your life to run you ragged. Lara urges you to not put your bar too high; choose one thing that makes you your superself and master it. For her, it's how she reacts to things, which can be a challenge with toddlers because it's often very reactionary. But the biggest takeaway is one we covered already: don't compare yourself to others!

What's your best advice for being your superself?

Generation.Mom is a community where you can share without judgment or critique, and we'd love for you to share your thoughts and find a friend to hold you accountable! Find us at:

The So-Called Crime of Maternal Ambivalence Jun 24, 2018

Show notes

Let's begin by defining maternal ambivalence: "Ambivalence arises where there is a conflict between the needs of the parents and those of their children" (from Psychology Today). Some call it the 'crime that dare not speak its name.' No doubt if you speak an ill word against your feelings for your children, you'll end up feeling guilty or shamed by others. But is it really a crime to be a normal human being? Lara and Jenn tackle this tough topic on today's episode.

Many people have relationship ambivalence, but few people talk about it.

You aren't supposed to dislike your kids or wish they weren't around. They are the shining light in your life, and the world should revolve around them. Right? Right? At least, that's what society tells us. But what is the nitty-gritty truth about motherhood? Do we somehow transcend our real feelings and become god-like in our ability to never think a negative thought? Of course not. Jenn and Lara share their own stories of how they've struggled with guilt and negativity and sometimes, anger, as new mothers.

Are these feelings normal?

In fact, yes. They are. They've been medically documented and are considered common. You aren't a terrible person or a heartless mother. But the real danger lies in when you try to suppress those feelings, when you bury them and let them fester as 'mommy guilt.' There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to help relieve yourself of the guilt, but Jenn found that accepting the way she felt as normal helped. She also recognized that she might need a little more alone time and some boundaries.

You don't have to fall in love at first sight.

Your friends who have children have probably told you how much they love being a mother, how they loved their baby while it was still in the womb. Or maybe, they're just afraid to say the truth. It's such a huge change in a woman's life to become a mother, and so much of it is figuring out who you are again. This can create resentment but don't worry. True love grows. You won't always like your children, but you will always love them.

You don't have to be in love 100% of the time.

Try to think of one thing you love 100% of the time. Hard to do, isn't it? Your job, your marriage, your home… whatever. It's the same with being a mother, though you might find that the swing from high to low can be much greater. One minute, they're the most beautiful thing alive, and the next minute, a little tyrant whose water cup being empty is the end of the world. The feelings are far more complicated than you might have ever experienced.

What to do when YOU feel maternal ambivalence.

Reach out. It can be as simple as Googling other mothers' experiences and real talk. Add things into your life that combine the best of what you love. You can join a community (like ours!) and talk about it. But if your feelings are extreme and frequent, like you might harm yourself or your baby, then a licensed psychiatrist can help you. Don't let the shame keep you from getting the support you need and deserve. It's not easy being a mother and you don't have to do it alone!

The Generation.Mom community wants to hear from you!

Generation.Mom is a community where you can share without judgment or critique, and we'd love for you to share your thoughts and find a friend to hold you accountable! Find us at:

Welcome to Generation.Mom Jun 13, 2018

Show notes

Looking for a way to merge your pre-kid life into your life as Mom? You're in the right place! Lara & Jenn candidly discuss real-life experience as Modern Day Moms, and highlight women who create space for both their individual identity and being Mom. This podcast is designed to guide, connect & support women navigating Modern Day Motherhood. Listen weekly & join their community, Generation.Mom.

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