Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Latest Episodes:

TPP 045a: 12-year-old Asher Answers Listeners' Questions (Special Kids' POV) May 31, 2024

Show notes

Our “Kid’s POV” special podcast episodes featuring conversations with my son Asher are particularly popular, especially among members of the community who like to co-listen with their own differently-wired children. And from time to time, we get emails from listeners who want to know more about Asher and how he deals with certain situations.

A few months ago, we did a special episode where Asher tackled listener’s questions specifically related to his social life, and in today’s episode, we’re going to go through some other listener questions, covering everything from how Asher handles big emotions and thinks about his diagnoses to how he stays positive when he gets in trouble just for being who he is. And because many listeners are just curious to know more about who Asher is and what he’s interested in, I threw in a couple of personal questions at the end about his favorite books, games, movies, hobbies, and more.

Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination!

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

How Asher identifies and/or fits in with other kids his age
Whether his diagnosis is an important part of how he sees himself
How Asher self-soothes when feeling sad or scared or other big emotions
Whether his deep areas of interest are ever an issue in relationships with others
Whether Asher ever feels down about himself because of challenges that crop up related to his neurodivergence

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TPP 383: Kristina Kuzmic Debunks “Parenting Truths” That Keep Parents Stuck and in Crisis Mode May 28, 2024

Show notes

As parents, we want more than anything to help our kids thrive, to protect them from pain and harm, and avoid some, or maybe all, of the mistakes we made in our own lives. But what happens when our kids are struggling with really big, difficult, and scary, maybe even life-threatening, stuff? And none of our efforts to “fix” things are making a difference?

That’s the focus of today’s show and I am absolutely thrilled to be in conversation about it with Kristina Kuzmic, a mental health advocate, author, comedien and self-described “cheerleader for her fellow humans.” Kristina has just come out with a powerful new book I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child), in which she writes about her complex journey of parenting a child struggling with mental health and substance abuse. She wrote it to help other struggling parents reject ideas that keep families stuck and, with her trademark authenticity and wisdom, dispel the lies we believe as parents.

This is SUCH a deep, raw, and generous conversation and it is exactly the conversation a parent feeling hopeless and overwhelmed in figuring out how to help their child needs to hear. Truly balm for the soul.

About Kristina Kuzmic

After immigrating to America from Croatia during the war in her homeland, and later facing more challenges (divorce, single parenting, poverty, mental health challenges), Kristina’s goal became clear: to be for others what she needed when she was at her lowest.

In 2011, when Oprah crowned Kristina the winner of Mark Burnett’s reality TV competition “Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” Oprah said, “What is that THING…that’s so charming and charismatic and connected to the audience that makes you feel like, ‘I know her, I want to be her, I’m like her’… Kristina has all of that. She is an ‘IT PLUS’ girl… I wanna watch her!”

Since working with Oprah, Kristina has branched out on her own, creating videos about juggling all of life’s challenges, and encouraging her audience to prioritize their mental health. She has quickly become a viral sensation with 2.9 million Facebook followers, over 670,000 Instagram followers, and more than a billion video views.

Kristina’s first book, Hold On But Don’t Hold Still has been translated to seven languages. Her second book, I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child) was released in May 2024.

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TPP 023a: TIlt Founder Debbie Reber Shares the Tilt Manifesto May 24, 2024

Show notes

When I launched the Tilt Parenting website in April 2016, I was excited to share with the world the Tilt Manifesto, a document outlining my vision for a more positive, more inclusive, and more all-around awesome experience for parents raising differently-wired kids, as well as my ideas for how we can get there together.

Because it’s important to us that the ideas behind the Tilt Manifesto are consumed and shared as broadly as possible, and because I know that the Manifesto is a kind of a long read and one thing we parents of atypical kids don’t necessarily have a lot of lying around is spare time, I decided to dedicate an entire episode of the podcast to the Manifesto. In it, I not only share my personal story of how I shifted my experience raising Asher from one where I felt overwhelmingly frustrated, stressed, and isolated to one full of acceptance, optimism, and possibility, but I lay out 10 ideas for things we can start doing today to shift the parenting paradigm to one that embraces our kids and our experience raising them.

So, if you haven’t had a chance to read the Manifesto yet, or you have read it but could use a fresh burst of inspiration, I invite you to sit back and have a listen, and join me in imagining what could be when we join together to shift the experience for families with differently-wired kids.

Things You'll Learn From This Episode:

Debbie Reber’s personal story of raising her twice-exceptional son
Why the current parenting paradigm is broken and outdated, especially for parents with atypical kids
How though our journey raising our differently-wired children is unique to us and who our children are, we are tied together through shared experiences of parenting outside the lines
The 10 things parents everywhere can start doing right now to take a lead in shifting the parenting paradigm

Resources Mentioned:

The TiLT Manifesto (download link for PDF)
Neurodiversity: What Does it Mean for 2015? by John Elder Robinson (Psychology Today)
Margaret Webb Life Coach

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TPP 382: Parent Lean-In — How Can I Scaffold a Teen With EF Challenges While Encouraging Autonomy? May 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Debbie and Seth discuss how parents can balance the concepts from the book ‘The Self-Driven Child’ with the challenges of supporting a child with ADHD and executive functioning issues. They emphasize the importance of scaffolding and giving children control over their lives while still providing support. They also discuss the need for parents to do their own inner work and manage their own anxiety in order to effectively support their children. The episode concludes with a discussion on the importance of planning and setting goals for children’s development.

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TPP 381: Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Dr. Debra Brause on the Complex Relationship Between Traditional Therapeutic Practices & Neurodivergence May 21, 2024

Show notes

I’m SOOO excited to share this conversation with you, as it’s been a few months in the making and it’s on a topic I’m personally very interested in and I feel like not enough people are talking about — and that topic is, the intersection of traditional therapeutic modalities and neurodivergence.

Specifically, I wanted to examine how some therapies may not meet the unique needs of neurodivergent individuals and what it means for a therapist to be truly neurodivergent-affirming.

And I have two wonderful guests to get into it with me — author, parent of neurodivergent children and neurodivergent clinical psychologist Dr. Megan Anna Neff, who’s been on this show twice before, and Dr. Debra Brause, the parent of an autistic ADHDer, and a licensed psychologist and therapist who works from a neurodivergent-affirming stance.

And get into it we do. In this conversation, Megan Anna, Debra, and I explore what some limitations and challenges are for neurodivergent clients working with therapists who don’t understand their neurotypes, how therapeutic approaches can be adapted to provide sensory safety and center the client's experience and agency, why cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) may not be as effective for differently wired people, as well as the potential limitations of standard strategies like mindfulness and visualization as. Most importantly, we'll discuss the qualities to look for in a therapist who is truly neurodivergent affirming —what that means, and how it can make all the difference in a child's therapeutic journey. Megan Anna and Debra shared a lot of resources as well that you can go back to if you are a parent looking to get your child therapy.

Dr. Megan Anna Neff is the founder of Neurodivergent Insights where she creates education and wellness resources for neurodivergent adults, the co-host of the Divergent Conversations podcast, and the author of Self-Care For Autistic People, which is the book we talked about last time she was on the show. As a late-diagnosed AuDHDer , Dr. Neff applies their lived experiences to their professional focus. They are committed to broadening the mental health field's understanding of autism and ADHD beyond traditional stereotypes.

Dr. Debra Brause helps couples embrace who their children are, and provides support and guidance through this unique journey. Her professional training includes diagnostic assessment for learning disabilities at the UCLA Office for Students with Disabilities, and clinical work in community mental health settings including The Southern California Counseling Center and the Maple Counseling Center.

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TPP 012a: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Managing & Tracking Screen Time May 17, 2024

Show notes

In this special kid’s POV edition, Asher and I talk about SCREEN TIME. Like many families with children (differently-wired or not), the issue of screen time — how much, what kind, and when — is something we are constantly grappling with. And because like many other differently-wired kids, Asher is really into the games and projects he’s got going on in his virtual world, we’ve struggled to come up with an approach that feels good for Derin and me as parents while also helping Asher learn how to be more responsible for his time and behavior online (and after he shuts down).

In this episode, Asher and I detail our current approach for tracking screen time, which we co-designed in such a way that it will help him learn to track his own time, set intentions for how he will spend his time, and stay emotionally regulated both while online and when it’s time to get off. (That’s the goal anyway!). And if you want to give our approach a try, download our Screen Time Planning Worksheet below!

Things You'll Learn from This Episode:

The strategy we’re using to help Asher learn to be more responsible for his screen time, as well as support more peaceful transitions from screen to the real world
Why time warnings might actually create anxiety rather than smooth transitions
How frequent brain breaks can support healthy screen time habits

Resources Mentioned:

Download a PDF of Asher’s New and Improved Screen Time Planning Worksheet
The Productivity Planner from Intelligent Design
The Pomodoro Technique
Time Tracker Visual Timer and Clock from Fun and Function

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TPP 380: Dr. Marc D. Hauser on the Harm of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency May 14, 2024

Show notes

Today, we're delving into a topic that's both profound and hopeful: the harm of childhood trauma and the incredible power of resilience. Joining me on the show is Dr. Marc D. Hauser, who's here to unravel these complex topics in a way that's accessible and empowering for all parents. Through his groundbreaking work, including his new book Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency, which is what we’re diving into today, Marc brings scientific evidence about childhood trauma to a broader audience and sheds light on the pathways to healing and growth.

In this conversation, we explore what constitutes a traumatic experience and why neurodivergent children may be more vulnerable to their effects, as well as ACES, or Adverse Childhood Experiences, often misunderstood but profoundly influential in shaping a child's journey. Marc helps us understand their significance in the context of resilience.

About Marc Hauser

Marc Hauser is a scientist, educator, author, consultant and public speaker. Hauser’s scientific research, including over 300 published papers and seven books, has focused on how the brain evolves, develops, and is altered by damage and neurodevelopmental disorders, with an emphasis on the processes of learning and decision-making, as well as the impact of traumatic experiences on development. Hauser’s educational and consulting work has focused on the implementation of quantitative, brain-based methods for teachers, clinicians, and doctors working with children who have different disabilities, including especially those that result from a history of traumatic experiences.

Hauser earned a Bachelor of Science degree from Bucknell University, a PhD from UCLA and Post-doctoral fellowships from the University of Michigan, Rockefeller University, and University of California-Davis. From 1992-2011, he was a Professor at Harvard University. In 2013, he founded the company Risk-Eraser, dedicated to providing software and consulting to programs focusing on students in special education.

His most recent book Vulnerable Minds, published in March 2024 by Avery-Penguin-Random House Publishing, New York.

Things you'll learn from this episode

How Vulnerable Minds makes scientific evidence about childhood trauma accessible to a broader audience
How traumatic experiences are defined
The impact of trauma on neurodivergent children as well as ways in which these kids are more vulnerable to trauma
What it means for a school to be trauma-informed in action
What ACES are and how their assignment and meaning is frequently misinterpreted and misunderstood
The role of nature and nurture when it comes to whether other not an experience results in trauma or is met with resiliency

Resources mentioned for the Harm of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency

Dr. Marc D. Hauser’s author website
Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma and the Hope of Resiliency by Dr. Marc D. Hauser
International Children’s Aid Network (iCAN)
Marc Hauser on X
Marc Hauser on Instagram
Marc Hauser on Linkedin
Marc Hauser on Facebook
Dr. Vincent Falliti
Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory
The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health and Development in Young Children (National Institute of Health Study)
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
Kelly Mahler on Understanding and Supporting Kids’ Interoception Experience (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Lori Desautels on Shifting Educational Systems Toward Post-Traumatic Growth (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website
Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth by Dr. Lori Desautels

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TPP 011a: Heidi Nord on the Challenges and Gifts of Dyslexia May 10, 2024

Show notes

Former teacher, reading specialist, teacher and parent educator, and coach, Heidi Nord, joins the show for a conversation about dyslexia.

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TPP 379: Parent Lean-In — Should We Move to Give Our Kids Access to More Nature May 09, 2024

Show notes

Parent coach Zach Morris joins Debbie to answer a listener question about whether or not to relocate from a big city to a less stressful environment and one with access to nature, in order to preemptively support a child's mental health.

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TPP 378: Julie Bogart on Helping Kids Become Critical Thinkers May 07, 2024

Show notes

In a world overflowing with information and complexity, critical thinking isn't just a useful skill; it's an essential life raft. From navigating complex interactions to making informed decisions, our children need the ability to think critically now more than ever. But what does that really mean? And how can we as parents nurture this skill in our children? I invited author and Brave Writer founder Julie Bogart back to the show to help us answer these questions and to talk about her new book, Becoming a Critical Thinker: A Workbook to Help Students Think Well in an Age of Disinformation.

In this conversation, we got into so many things. And as you’ll hear, I could have talked to Julie for hours. But for this episode, you can expect to hear Julie’s thoughts on how and why we can foster critical thinking in our children, how considering multiple perspectives and incorporating diverse viewpoints leads to better problem-solving, what parents can do to encourage self-awareness, open-mindedness, and curiosity, and much more.

About Julie Bogart

Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.

Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. She home educated her five children, who are globe-trotting adults. Today, Julie lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, and can be found sipping a cup of tea while planning her next visit to one of her lifelong-learning kids.

Things you'll learn from this episode

Why critical thinking is essential to navigate complex issues and make informed decisions
How considering multiple perspectives and incorporating diverse viewpoints leads to better problem-solving and policy-making
How parents can play a crucial role in fostering critical thinking skills in their children by encouraging self-awareness, open-mindedness, and curiosity
Why traditional models of authority and obedience in parenting are being replaced by a more collaborative and respectful approach that values children's reasoning and autonomy
How the Becoming a Critical Thinker workbook helps students develop skills such as vetting sources, analyzing data, and considering multiple perspectives
Why engaging in perspective-taking and tolerance can help neurodivergent kids deconstruct ideas and accept other points of view

Resources mentioned for Helping Kids Become Critical Thinkers