Friday Release Valve

Camel Pageant Botox Woes Feb 25, 2022

Nick Sperdute, Kevin Delano, and Jenny Guiffre rejoin the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines.

Feral Planes and Airborne Shenanigans Feb 18, 2022

Andrew Young and Josh Jennings return to the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Our Enemy The Snorlax Feb 04, 2022

Nick Sperdute, Kevin Delano, and Jenny Giuffre join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Mayor Ousted Over Giant Topiary Chicken Jan 28, 2022

Grover Norquist and Justin Robert Young rejoin the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines. Including:

* A conspiracy over a dead groundhog * Canadian ax-weilding pizza shenanigans * Government builds a giant chicken TIP THE SHOW! andrew@mightyheaton.com on PayPal and andrew-heaton-1 on Venmo

Scientists Taught Goldfish to Drive Jan 21, 2022

Turner Sparks, Andrea Jones-Rooy, and Michael Ira Kaplan join the show to discuss the week’s best, underserved headlines

Endangered Birds vs Taylor Swift Jan 14, 2022

Josh Jennings and Andrew Young return to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

New York Marathon of Ducks Jan 07, 2022

Grover Norquist and Justin Robert Young join to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Win At Life By Outliving Competition Dec 17, 2021

Comedians Negin Farsad of “Fake the Nation” and Ophira Eisenberg join the show to discuss the week’s best, underserved headlines

My Guest Hit a Ship with A Ship Dec 10, 2021

Andrew Young returns to discuss the best underserved headlines of the week. Including: crummy narco submarines, the Korean War, and rhinoceros backflips.

Losers, Pretenders & Scoundrels: https://link.chtbl.com/SvbVq0zp

Don’t Peform Sugergy During Legislative Meetings Dec 03, 2021

Brett Weaver and Chloe Effron return to sort the week's best, underserved headlines

Of Witchcraft and Penguins Nov 19, 2021

Comedians Negin Farsad and Ophira Eisenberg join the show to discuss the week’s best, underserved headlines, scheme to become Kentucky Colonels, and learn about multicultural witchcraft

Pitfalls of Emotional Support Monkeys Nov 12, 2021

Brett Weaver and Chloe Effron join to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Rent-A-Fat-Friend Nov 05, 2021

Michael Ira Kaplan and Andrea Jones-Rooy join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines, including: stuff about Watermelon Crushers, and scam calls.

The Most Embarrassing Search Party Oct 29, 2021

Brian Brushwood and Matt Donnelly join to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Airline Goat Sacrifices Oct 22, 2021

Jack Helmuth and Brian Sack of "Questionable Material" join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines.

The $120,000 Art banana Oct 15, 2021

Andrew Young and Jeff Maurer join to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Canadian Helicopter Fast Food Antics Oct 08, 2021

Brian Brushwood and Matt Donnelly join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Robot Cyber Penis Spectacular Oct 01, 2021

Andrew Young and Mike Blejer join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Active Bobcat School Drills Sep 24, 2021

Jack Helmuth and Brian Sack join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Bigfoot and Deodorant Projectiles Sep 17, 2021

Comedian Turner Sparks joins the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines--particularly regarding Oklahoma

Accidentally Sold Our Water Tower Sep 10, 2021

Andrew Young and Jeff Maurer join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines.

Sex Drone Political Campaign Tactics Sep 03, 2021

Sarah Rose Siskind and Tom Barnard Leopold join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines.

Expensive Invisible Sculpture Art Aug 27, 2021

Andrew Young joins the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Soviet Television's Lord of the Rings (Headlines) Jul 01, 2021

Sarah Rose Siskind joins the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

90,000 Greasy Pennies (Headlines) Jul 01, 2021

Turner Sparks, Michael Ira Kaplan, and Andrea Jones Rooy join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

The Five Types of Hitchikers (Sketch) Jun 18, 2021

The five sorts of folks you find hitchin' a ride out on the open road!

Meat Bullets (Sponsor) Jun 12, 2021

The quickest way to get high-velocity meat particles from A to B in a straight line. Period.

Uncle Milton's Crab Dip with Caffeine In It (Sponsor) Jun 11, 2021

Start your day right. Start your day with delicious caffeinated crab dip.

Gillian's Rooster Removal (Sponsor) Jun 09, 2021

Is your yard or office overwhelmed by roosters? Call Gillian's to eliminate unwanted rooster infestations

Dutch Snowman Murders (Headlines) Jun 17, 2020

Nick Sperdute and Andrew Young join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Mafia YouTube Cooking Tutorials (Headlines) Jun 16, 2020

Mary Jo Pehl, original writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000, and actor and comedian Nick Sperdute join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Bring Your Own Bat to the Stadium Day (Sketch) Jun 14, 2020

It's the best part of baseball season!

How to Make a Meatloaf (Sketch) Jun 13, 2020

Learn to make an absolutely delicious meatloaf with Chef Heaton!

Robot Police Dog Tax Expenditures (Headlines) Jun 12, 2020

JD Durkin and Negin Farsad join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Yorkshire Werewolf Tourism (Headlines) Jun 11, 2020

Chad Prather and Josh Jennings join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

How to File Your Taxes (Sketch) Jun 10, 2020

Don't let tax season get you down. Let Heaton walk you through the basics!

Welcome to NASA (Sketch) Jun 09, 2020

An introductory message to your training at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration

Japan Has the Coolest Political Party (Headlines) Jun 07, 2020

Matt Sienkiewicz and Andrea Jones-Rooy join the show to explore the week's best, underserved headlines

This Show is Not Actually Newsradio (Sketch) Jun 05, 2020

Jennings reluctantly agrees to gather reviews for Heaton

The History of the Fourth of July (Sketch) Jun 04, 2020

Little-known facts about Independence Day

Miracle of Life Amusement Park (Sponsor) Jun 03, 2020

An educational amusement park which explains sexual education to children and the entire family

Nebraska's Diehard Meat Rivalry (Headlines) Jun 02, 2020

Mike Blejer and Alice Vaughn join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

China Bans Stripper Funerals (Headlines) Jun 01, 2020

Turner Sparks and Michael Ira Kaplan join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

How to Water a Plant (Sketch) May 31, 2020

Avid gardener Andrew Heaton explains the basics of home botany

Pros and Cons of Having a Broken Leg (Sketch) May 30, 2020

I recently broke my leg, and reflect on the upshots and downsides of it

Fake News: The Game Show May 28, 2020

We're gamifying funny headlines! Everyone on the show gets a funny headline, but some are real and some are fake news. Each team hears the headlines, asks probing questions, then guesses which is real and which is fictitious.

Host: Andrew Heaton Team Captains: Andrew Young and Jeremey Kareken Guests: Nicholas Sperdute, Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth, Andrea Jones-Rooy

How to Read a Horoscope (Sketch) May 27, 2020

Horoscopes can be complicated--let me walk you through the basics

Bigfoot Hunting Season (Headlines) May 27, 2020

Nick Sperdute and Andrew Young join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Review of Eggs I Throw at My Bosses House (Sketch) May 26, 2020

Ranking the sorts of eggs I throw at houses based on heft, price point, and general enjoyment

Rent-A-Cannon (Sponsor) May 25, 2020

When you need the convenience and firepower of a cannon, but you DON'T need the hassle of maintenance and storage!

The Official Massachusetts State Dinosaur (Headlines) May 24, 2020

Turner Sparks and Michael Ira Kaplan join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Toupee Drug Smuggling & Wine Cannons (Headlines) May 23, 2020

Alice Vaughn and Yvette D'Entremont join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

How to Train a Dog (Sketch) May 22, 2020

Heaton explains basic dog training for potential dog lovers

Jennings Gaslights Heaton (Sketch) May 21, 2020

Show producer Josh Jennings once again attempts to destroy Heaton's sanity

Smuggling Ashes onto the International Space Station (Headlines) May 19, 2020

Jeremey Kareken and Andrew Young join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Don't Feed Your Friend to Bears (Headlines) May 18, 2020

Leo Kearse joins the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Our Listeners are a Crime Gang (Sketch) May 16, 2020

Former producer Josh Jennings inadvertently facilitates an organized crime syndicate via the show's listeners

Tumble Cabbage (Sponsor) May 15, 2020

Why eat sedentary vegetables when you can nab a rolling salad?

Don't Throw Your Kids Over the Fence (Headlines) May 14, 2020

Turner Sparks and Michael Ira Kaplan join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

The Labor-Inducing Hamburger (Headlines) May 14, 2020

Paul Mattingly and Matt Donnely join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Tornado Repellant (Sponsor) May 12, 2020

Is your house besought by twisters? We're here to help

Viagra the Musical (Headlines) May 11, 2020

Kevin Seefried and Andrea Jones-Rooy join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Snuffy's Valentines Day May 10, 2020

Come to Snuffy's for Valentine's Day for some fantastic specials, delivered to you on horseback

Nick and Heaton Visit Staten Island (Vagabonding) May 09, 2020

Comedians Nick Sperdute and Andrew Heaton travel to exotic Static Island, where they encountered the Lizardman

Heaton Guest Hosts/Pranks a Radio Station (Sketch) May 08, 2020

I got invited to fill in as a radio host on a Chicago radio station, and so pretended I had been in a coma for ten years prior to coming to studio

The Edible Suit (Sponsor) May 07, 2020

Look great, taste great

Protect Your Bank from Raccoons (Headlines) May 06, 2020

Alice Vaughn and Yvette d'eEntremont join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Literal Underwater Ponzi Scheme (Headlines) May 06, 2020

Andrew Young and Nick Sperdute join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

The Velcro Couch (Sponsor) May 05, 2020

You won't slide off this couch--we guarantee it!

We Are Thankful For Snoods (Sketch) May 04, 2020

A heartwarming family story about the *real* meaning of Thanksgiving

Snuffy's "Kill Your Own Turkey" Day May 03, 2020

This Thanksgiving come take the whole family to Snuffy's, where you can pick and shoot your own turkey before we dunk it in a deep fat frier

Oakland's Notoriously Violent Turkey (Headlines) May 02, 2020

Jack Helmuth and Brian Sack of "Questionable Material" join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Toaster Insurance (Sponsor) May 01, 2020

Can you afford not to get some?

Nick and Heaton Confront Death (Vagabonding) Apr 30, 2020

Basically "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan," except with more jokes

Wine Syrup (Sponsor) Apr 29, 2020

Next time you reach for a bottle of wine, make sure it has the consistency of syrup

How to Fix Football (Sketch) Apr 28, 2020

Heaton fixes America's favorite eggball sport

The Seeing Eye Horse Foundation (Sponsor) Apr 27, 2020

The Seeing Eye Horse Foundation is a fine non-profit which assists the optically impaired by providing them with guide horses

British Supermarket Astronaut Chicken (Headlines) Apr 26, 2020

Comedian Brian Parise and Andrew Young join the show to discuss the world's best, undeserved headlines

The Waterproof Guitar (Sponsor) Apr 25, 2020

Finally, a guitar that sounds great which you can play in a thunderstorm!

Game of Thrones, As Reviewed by a Caterer (Sketch) Apr 24, 2020

The intrigue and magic of the world of George R. R. Martin. As explained by a caterer.

Rent-A-Monkey (Sponsor) Apr 23, 2020

When you need a monkey, but don't need to own a monkey

Decolonize Your Lawn with Jack and Brian (Headlines) Apr 22, 2020

Jack Helmuth and Brian Sack of "Questionable Material" join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

Razor-Tipped Wind Turbines (Sponsor) Apr 21, 2020

The sharpest wind turbines on the market

Nick and Heaton Visit Narnia (Vagabonding) Apr 20, 2020

Comedians Andrew Heaton and Nick Sperdute visit the enchanted land of Narnia

The Neon Airbag (Sponsor) Apr 19, 2020

When emergency strikes, do you have time to "look" for the airbag?

Football According to Bernie Sanders (Sketch) Apr 18, 2020

Vermont's senior senator explains the art of football

The Mustard Gun (Sponsor) Apr 17, 2020

To get mustard in those hard to reach places

Glorious Asbestos, Quebec (Headlines) Apr 16, 2020

Andrew Young and John DeVore join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

Lasik for Horses (Sponsor) Apr 15, 2020

Your horse deserves 20/20 vision

How to Balance a Checkbook (Sketch) Apr 04, 2020

Basic banking advice from Heaton to you

The Jumbo Elevator (Sponsor) Apr 03, 2020

Don't use an elevator you can barely fit a piano in--use the biggest industrial elevator size legally available

Armed Monkey Scarecrows (Headlines) Apr 02, 2020

Jeremy Kareken and Joe Terwilliger join the show to discuss the week's best, underserved headlines

The Jet Ski Lawn Mower (Sponsor) Apr 01, 2020

For the guy who wants to mow his lawn and then drift off to sea

Nick and Heaton visit Hot Detroit (Vagabonding) Mar 22, 2020

Comedians Nick Sperdute and Andrew Heaton go into a virtual reality version of Sim City to meet the mayor and fix the digital metropolis

Horse Stilts (Sponsor) Mar 21, 2020

Is your horse too stubby and short? Do him a favor. Buy him some horse stilts.

Fifty Shades of Gray, As Explained by Bernie Sanders (Sketch) Mar 20, 2020

The senior senator from Vermont joins the show to explain a popular film

Liquid Pizza (Sponsor) Mar 19, 2020

Delicious pizza you can drink on the go!

Like the Paris Review, for Porn (Headlines) Mar 18, 2020

Alice Vaughn and Yvette D'entremont, hosts of Two Girls One Mic, join the show to discuss the week's best, most underserved headlines

The Smart Knife (Sponsor) Mar 17, 2020

The world's very first USB-programmable knife

Ex-Girlfriends Mother's Day Surprise (Sketch) Mar 16, 2020

Jennings arranges a surprise for Heaton

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