Free to Love - Transforming Pain Into Peace

Latest Episodes:

Becoming: Reality and Orientation Nov 27, 2023

Show notes

In our final episode of Season 1, our final conversation explores the power of orienting ourselves. Each of us has an innate desire to become. To grow. To change. Somewhere along the way, many of us have experienced something that warps that. It narrows our vision and pulls the horizon of hope downward. The central question at the heart of this podcast has been: "Are you becoming a more loving person? Are you growing in your depth and capacity of to give and receive love? This is to be a thrilling journey, not a joyless slog. An organic emergence, not a tortuous white-knuckled affair. Yes, it requires effort and intention. But, it is primarily driven by the creative power of God's gracious move towards us. In this week's conversation we explore this theme of Becoming and the many ways it is a crucial orientation in the healing journey.

Hope Amidst Heartache - Navigating Healing from Trauma Pt. 2 Jul 14, 2023

Show notes

We continue our conversation around the complex and pressing issue of trauma, exploring the ways that damaged trust distorts our view of God, self and others. We ask the question: "Where is God in the midst of trauma?" We then pivot to strategies for healing and developing trauma resilience.

We Bury The Past Alive - Trauma Pt. 1 Jul 14, 2023

Show notes

One of the biggest obstacles to the healing journey and enjoying the freedom to love is a resistance to reengaging those deepest places of pain in your lives. Trauma, both big and small, left unaddressed is hindering us from experiencing the fullness of life we long for. In recent years there has been an explosion in the public awareness of trauma, its sources and effects. While this is to be celebrated in so many ways, the casual invocation of trauma can actually be counter-productive to developing an accurate understanding of what it is and how we can begin to deal with it. In this week’s conversation Jenn Ahl and I begin a two-part conversation around the topic of Trauma. What is it? What is it's impact? How do we address it and begin the path of healing.

Bitterness: The Descending Path May 25, 2023

Show notes

We have all experienced the powerful pull toward bitterness. The pain of betrayal, and rejection, big and small, arms us with a powerful energy that we so often use to justify our intransigence, firmly planting ourselves in the place of victimization and justifying a destructive entitlement. Left unattended, the roots of bitterness deepen, distorting our perception of reality and robbing us of life and light, the joy and intimate relationships we all long for. This conversation explores the nuances of bitterness and exposes many of its dark fruit, while pointing towards the power we have to leave bitterness behind.

The Offensive Gift of Forgiveness May 25, 2023

Show notes

Forgiveness is a doorway. A portal through which we can leave behind the pitiful prison cell of bitterness and the self-limiting victim mentality that empowers our mistreatment of others and step out into an expansive new land of freedom, joy and healing. Yet, we so often refuse to take the necessary steps to access our healing and new life. For many of us, this may because we misunderstand what forgiveness is and the crucial distinction between it and reconciliation. Many of us carry a shallow view of forgiveness that seems to downplay violation and injustice. However, as we explore in this conversation, forgiveness does not dispense with the need for justice, nor demand that we remain open to abuse or mistreatment. Rather, it empowers us to be free of past wounds and move with intention towards healthier lives and relationships.

Sexuality: Blessed, Complex, Disordered May 25, 2023

Show notes

Everywhere it seems, the topic of sexuality is the source of pain and division, misunderstanding and fear. In many ways, this is deeply understandable given how intimately intertwined our sexuality is with our sense of identity and our capacity to live a joyous and meaningful life. Similarly, many of our fiercest hopes and longings are tied to sexuality, so too are our fears and many of our deepest woundings. Because of sexuality’s power, both culturally and individually, it is crucial that we re-orient the conversation, prioritizing a deeper view and posturing ourselves to explore with humility, sensitivity and care rather than using simplistic dogmas that perpetuate the shame vs. shameless dynamic that seems so presently ascendant. May this conversation invite you to slow down and marvel at the beauty of sexuality, confront the shame-based narratives driving our understanding, and experience God’s desire to heal and order our sexuality so that it results in freedom and flourishing.

Conquering the Culture of Addiction Mar 07, 2023

Show notes

Addiction is a loaded word. It carry’s a long and complicated legacy of shame and misunderstanding both within the church and in broader culture. It’s our conviction that the path to healing and freedom includes de-mystifying addiction and exposing how each of us, in our own ways, suffer from addiction. This isn’t simply seen in drugs, alcohol or the destructive behaviors we typically think of when discussing the topic. It increasingly shows up in subtle ways that, while they may be less dramatic, still leave us emotionally unavailable and a diminished, less than fully free version of who we are created to be. In this weeks conversation we explore the area of addiction, seeking to redefine it and illustrate its inner workings while also offering up a positive vision for what health and freedom can look like. The journey may be a slow one, but there is hope and power to learn new ways to live free.

Renewing the Mind Is An Engine of Healing Mar 07, 2023

Show notes

The healing journey is complex. Multifaceted. There is no silver bullet. And yet…if there is a single area that can lead to beautiful breakthroughs that fuel our hope for lasting change, a deepening peace and the capacity for meaningful relationships it is in the arena of the mind. The quality, or venom of our internal thought life has a ln incredible power to impact every aspect of our reality. There is a good reason why every spiritual tradition from Christianity to Buddhism to the self-help shelf in your local bookstore is trying to get us to pay attention to the power of our thoughts. Cultivating an awareness of the war within is half the battle. As we will explore in this conversation, there are a variety of simple practices we can begin to develop that build the foundation to live from a place of peace and quiet power. May this week’s conversation unveil some of the inner workings of your own mind and empower you to take the next step in your healing journey: naming the core false beliefs you may be carrying and identifying a set of practices that can begin to trade the lie for a life-giving truth.

Unmasking Shame & Cultivating Resilience Feb 24, 2023

Show notes

Last week we introduced the four primary coping mechanisms that we default to when our body of pain is activated. Three of the four, blame, control and escape are much easier for us to identify and develop healthy, intentional new actions to move towards peace. * Shame however is more difficult to spot. While its initial genesis in our story may have come from an outside force such as a parent, society or religious community, it is quickly internalized. Without knowing it, we come to believe the lies it whispers about who we are: broken, defective, incapable of change. * Shame is a universal human experience. It transcends cultures, religions and value systems. Central to Shane’s message is the lie that we are alone in our experiences and a victim to our fears. Because of shame’s ubiquity and we are paying special attention to it this week, seeking to name the ways it shows up and proposing some strategies for how to cultivate our shame resilience. Crucial to the work of countering the power of shame is this remembering that empathy creates a hostile environment for shame and opens a door back to connection, communion and peace.

Blame, Shame, Control, and Escape: Recognizing Your Coping Mechanisms Jan 12, 2023

Show notes

In a cultural moment such as ours where therapeutic language has been popularized by pop-psychology and widely spread by social media, the topic of coping mechanisms is one that many of us have at shallow understanding of. Last week we stressed the importance of examining our families of origin to understand the powerful capacity they have to shape us for ill and for good. Often, it is during this work of excavation that we are able to develop a deeper awareness of the ways that we sought to navigate the pain and complexity of the world. While there are myriad ways that we can cope, our conversation this week explores the four dominant categories of behavior that we introduced last week, and which characterize our attempts to deal with pain, disappointment and the anxieties of life: Blame, Shame, Control and Escape. Sharing from our own personal stories we reflect on the theological roots of coping mechanisms, examining how the first two chapters of Genesis paints a powerful picture of our human propensities and God’s response. Realizing that each culture tends to elevate or baptize certain expressions of our coping mechanism and uphold them as virtues we wrestle with the implications of that and ask the provocative question: can spirituality and religion become an unhealthy way of coping?