Flying Free

Latest Episodes:

What Does a Safe Church Really Look Like? [324] Apr 22, 2025

Show notes

On today’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Andrew Bauman—licensed mental health counselor, author, and founder of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma. We’re digging into his powerful new book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities, and whew…this one’s going to name things you’ve felt for years but maybe never had words for.

This episode is a raw, no-fluff look at what’s really happening behind the stained-glass windows:

82% of women say sexism shaped their church experience—and 35% report sexual harassment. Let that sink in.
How twisted theology has been used to minimize abuse, silence women, and turn forgiveness into a weapon
Real, doable steps churches can take to stop being breeding grounds for harm and start becoming actually safe
Why men in leadership must do their own deep healing before they can lead anyone else
The holy importance of listening to your gut, your body, and your sacred knowing when something just feels off

If you've ever been told to “just forgive and move on,” felt erased in your own spiritual community, or wondered why abusers get protected while survivors get blamed—this conversation will wrap you in validation and truth.

Dr. Bauman speaks as someone who’s been on both sides of this story. And his message? You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And the God you love is nothing like the systems that harmed you.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Read Dr. Bauman’s newest book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.
Connect with Dr. Bauman on Facebook.
Check out Dr. Bauman’s blog.
Like what you heard today? Listen to Episode 41 and Episode 164 of the Flying Free Podcast with Dr. Andrew Bauman, and then head over to Episode 45 and Episode 279 to hear my interviews with his wife, Christy Bauman.

Guest Bio:

Founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma. Dr. Bauman is a therapist & author of 7 books including his newest book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities.

Healing Doesn't Just Happen at a Weekend Retreat [Flying Higher Moment 019] Apr 19, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, you’ll hear what it really means to heal from emotional and spiritual trauma—and why that work is more about daily practice than one-time events. From ego detangling to setting boundaries, this episode is packed with perspective shifts and tiny “aha” moments that might just change how you show up in your healing journey.

Resources mentioned:
How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera
Flying Higher

What about Addiction-Fueled Abuse? [323] Apr 15, 2025

Show notes

Is your husband’s addiction tearing your marriage—and your heart—apart?

In today’s powerful episode, I unpack the often-overlooked reality of addiction-fueled abuse. We’ll talk about how addictions—from porn and gambling to drugs and spending—impact the brain, hijack relationships, and leave women spiritually and emotionally devastated.

If you’ve ever tried harder, prayed longer, or changed yourself to fix what’s broken in your marriage, this episode is a healing balm and a wake-up call. I want to remind us that addiction is the problem—not you—and offer biblical, practical wisdom for reclaiming your power, peace, and dignity.

Key Takeaways:

Addiction ≠ love problem. You can’t love, pray, or submit your husband out of his addiction. Change only happens when he chooses it.
Addiction changes the brain. It affects dopamine systems, impulse control, and emotional regulation, making empathy and honesty difficult.
You are not crazy. Gaslighting, mood swings, and financial chaos are symptoms of a deeper issue—not proof you're “too sensitive.”
God does not call you to endure abuse. You are permitted to set boundaries, seek legal protection, and pursue peace—even if that means separation or divorce.
Healing begins when you turn inward. Like one brave woman in the Kaleidoscope said, "Help me get free from the constant pain"—and everything changed.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Some Flying Free Podcast episodes you might be interested in: “Can My Alcoholic Husband Change?” and “Am I the Problem in My Marriage?”

Finding Hope When You Feel Hopeless [Flying Higher Moment 018] Apr 12, 2025

Show notes

This week, I'm excited to share something transformative I just learned from the book "Coming Alive" by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz. Have you ever felt so completely demoralized that you couldn't see a way forward? That crushing feeling when you believe nothing will ever get better? I've been there too.

In this episode, I'll talk about a powerful tool from this book that can gently pull you out of those darkest emotional spaces and reconnect you to hope, resilience, and even joy. Through the story of Ann, a woman devastated by another failed relationship, we explore how we often chase external solutions (like the perfect partner) to fix our internal emptiness, only to find ourselves more disappointed when they don't deliver the salvation we crave.

Here's what you'll learn from this episode:

• How to identify when you're caught in the trap of "false hope" and why external achievements, relationships, or possessions never fill the void we think they will

• The simple 5-step Mother Tool practice that can lift you out of demoralization and reconnect you to your inner strength, even when everything feels hopeless

• Real examples of how this tool has helped people transform their creative blocks, unhealthy relationship patterns, and even approach chronic pain with renewed resilience

When we're at our lowest, what we need isn't logic or problem-solving – we need love. That's exactly what the Mother Tool helps us access: an unconditional, nurturing presence inside ourselves that sees our worth regardless of our circumstances.

This practice isn't about fixing your external situation; it's about shifting your emotional state so you can show up to life with clarity and strength. Because when you reconnect to that loving presence within, you discover the resilience to keep going – not because things are perfect, but because you're loved.

Join me for this heart-opening episode where I walk you through exactly how to use this tool in your own life. And if you're craving more connection and growth, remember that my Flying Higher mentorship program offers weekly classes, coaching, and a beautiful community of almost 300 women supporting each other's journeys. You can learn more at joinflyinghigher.com.

Narcissistic Abuse in Christian Relationships [322] Apr 08, 2025

Show notes

Ever been told you’re too sensitive? That you just need to forgive more? Or that if you were a better Christian wife, everything would magically get better?

Yeah. Me too. And Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s book It’s Not You is here to throw a holy wrench into that narrative.

In this week’s episode of the Flying Free Podcast, I’m unpacking the powerful truths in this book and showing you exactly how it validates the lived reality of women in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships.

We’re talking:

What narcissistic abuse actually looks like (hint: it’s not always loud or obvious)
The spectrum of narcissism and how it shows up in faith communities
How to stop blaming yourself and start protecting your peace
Practical strategies to regain your emotional footing (no seminary degree required)

This episode is part validation, part education, and 100% you’re-not-crazy encouragement. If you've ever felt spiritually duped or emotionally wrung out in a relationship that was supposed to be “biblical,” I promise—this one will hit home in the best way.

Hit play, breathe deep, and remember: You are not the problem. You never were.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Read Dr. Ramani’s book for yourself, It’s Not You.
Check out some related, past Flying Free episodes: “What is Gaslighting in a Toxic Narcissistic Relationship” and “Using Art to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse.”

The Crushing Cost of Control [Flying Higher Moment 017] Apr 05, 2025

Show notes

What if the thing keeping you stuck… is your death grip on trying to hold it all together?
In this short and fiery episode, Natalie calls out the spiritual hustle we’ve been sold—and gently offers a better way. If you’ve been clinging to control, overthinking your faith, or quietly drowning under “good Christian woman” expectations, this one’s for you.

You don’t need to strive harder.
You need to breathe, unclench your jaw, and finally release what’s not yours to carry.

Press play and feel the shift.

Go deeper with me in Flying Higher!

Can I Gaslight Myself? Part Two [321] Apr 01, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back, butterflies! In this episode, I’m joined once again by my friend and fellow coach, Diana Swillinger. We’re diving into the second part of an important topic today: Can we gaslight ourselves?

Gaslighting is usually something done to us—manipulation that makes us question our reality. But what happens when we internalize it? When we start running the script on autopilot and doubting ourselves before anyone else even gets a chance? Buckle up, because our Kaleidoscope members had some thoughts on this, and we’re breaking it all down.

Key Takeaways:

Idealizing Others – When we believe that if we just act a certain way, that person will finally approve of us? That’s a trap.
Believing the Unbelievable – Sometimes, we’re so conditioned to believe our abuser isn’t lying that we ignore all the red flags. It’s like trying to finish a puzzle when someone keeps hiding the pieces. Maddening, right?
Giving Away Our Credibility – We assume the other person must be right and know better than us. Newsflash: That’s not always true.
Agreeing Against Our Gut – You ever nod along while every fiber of your being screams, Nope, not true!?
Over-Spiritualizing – Just because someone prays about something doesn’t mean their actions magically become good. Intentions don’t equal truth.
Minimizing Abuse – “Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing.” Nope, friend. If it feels bad, it is bad. Maybe even worse than bad.
How Faith Can Condition Us – Ever been told you’re “thinking evil” just because you question something? That’s not faith. That’s control.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Diana Swillinger is a life and business coach, host of The Renew Your Mind Podcast, and founder of the Renew Your Mind Institute Coach Training. After decades of trying to please God, be a good person and do the right thing, she ended up exhausted and discouraged. Desperate for a solution, Diana went back to school, joined personal development programs, and more, then took what she learned and created mind renewal tools that let her love life in every situation no matter what comes her way. Over the past five years, she has empowered thousands of women with those same tools to heal themselves, get back to who God created them to be, and build a life they love.

Fear: The Frenemy in Your Head [Flying Higher Moment 016] Mar 29, 2025

Show notes

Fear. It creeps in when you’re trying to sleep, whispers worst-case scenarios while you’re washing dishes, and makes you second-guess yourself every time you try to take a brave step forward.

But here’s the truth: not all fear is bad. In fact, some of it is a God-given superpower... and some of it? More like an overactive smoke alarm when you've just made toast.

In this Flying Higher moment, we break down the two kinds of fear—clean fear that protects you and dirty fear that keeps you stuck. You'll learn:

✨ How fear really works in your brain and body
✨ Why Christian women in abusive relationships often live in chronic fear
✨ The surprising root fear hiding under all the others
✨ How to tell if fear is leading you—or limiting you
✨ Practical ways to reclaim your peace (without gaslighting yourself)

If you’ve ever been afraid of making a mistake, being alone, messing up your kids, or just feeling your feelings—this one’s for you.
Join me for the entire course called The Fear Cure inside Flying Higher by visiting joinflyinghigher.com

Am I Gaslighting Myself? Part One [320] Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

In today’s episode, I am joined by life coach and fellow survivor advocate Diana Swillinger to explore a fascinating and often misunderstood topic: Can you gaslight yourself? We dive deep into what gaslighting is, how it manifests in relationships, and whether people unconsciously manipulate their own thoughts and emotions as a survival mechanism. This candid discussion sheds light on self-doubt, emotional survival, and the process of breaking free from harmful thought patterns.

Key Takeaways:

Definition of Gaslighting: A psychological manipulation tactic where an abuser causes the victim to question their own reality, memories, or sanity. This can be intentional or unintentional.
Gaslighting as a Category: It encompasses various abuse tactics such as blaming, projection, and minimizing.
Self-Gaslighting as Survival: While traditional gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used by one person against another, self-gaslighting often arises as an unconscious coping mechanism to minimize conflict and protect ourselves from emotional pain.
Breaking Free: The first step in healing is acknowledging the truth and replacing self-gaslighting with truth.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

How Radical Acceptance Changes Everything [Flying Higher Moment 015] Mar 22, 2025

Show notes

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