First Name Basis Podcast

Latest Episodes:

3.22: The Danger of Gaslighting May 18, 2021

Show notes

I think we can all agree that gaslighting is the wooooorst. When you share a vulnerable or tough experience with someone and they respond in a way that makes you feel like you're being dramatic and overreacting it really hurts. In this episode I cover the many ways that people gaslight one another, where the term comes from, why people engage in gaslighting, how to respond when someone is gaslighting you, and of course what to do if you realize that you've gaslighted someone else. I also share a few examples of times that I have been racially gaslighted, oof. If you need a little validation you'll find it here. Don't worry you're not losing your mind, you're being gaslighted.

Solidarity for Palestine Action Items:

Email your reps and tell them to end U.S. complicity in Israel's abuses of Palestinians.
Donate to provide emergency aid to Palestinians
Tell someone you love what you've learned about Palestine and the extreme power imbalance, created directly by U.S. aid, that has displaced and killed hundreds of Palestinians this week. The Israeli government is spreading misinformation about their aggressions, we have to act now.

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

The Hidden Victims of Gaslighting (BBC Article)

This Book is Anti-racist by Tiffany Jewell

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Racial Gaslighting with Dr. Rose Ernst and Angelique M. Davis

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 22: "Cancel Culture Pt. 1: Calling In, Calling Out, & Tone Policing"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 19: "The Danger of Spiritual Bypassing"

"Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.21: How To Teach Media Literacy To Our Children May 10, 2021

Show notes

One of the most common questions you asked during the last election was, "how do I teach my children media literacy," and I found the perfect person to be our guiding light. After 27 years as an Emmy award winning journalist, Tori Nelson founded KidNuz. KidNuz "delivers current events in a kid-friendly package, sparks curiosity, and gets them asking critical questions." Tori shares her expertise about everything from choosing solid sources to talking to our children about media bias. This conversation will leave you feeling confident and hopeful that our children will be prepared to seek out the facts and reject misinformation.

Listen to KidNuz!

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.20: 5 Tips For Talking To Children About News Apr 27, 2021

Show notes

Current events are always tough, and it seems like they've been especially brutal and heart-breaking lately. Here are 5 tips for talking to children about the hard things going on around them and what they hear on the news.

If you can, prepare for the conversation with another adult
Start by asking open-ended questions
Tell the truth, age appropriately
Center the conversation around your values
Help them feel safe

Apply for the First Name Basis Communications Director position

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Kids Health: How to talk to your child about the news

10 Ways To Talk to Kids About Events In The News

KidNuz: Daily news podcast for kids

CNN 10: Daily current event update for older children

Talking To Kids About The Violence At The US Capitol

How To Talk To Kids About Current Events And What They See On The News

Lifekit For Parents Podcast: What to Say When The News Is Scary

"Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.19: How You Can Help Stop Voter Suppression Apr 08, 2021

Show notes

Are you fed up with voter suppression? Me too. This episode not only breaks down what's going on with voter suppression but also gives action steps for what we need to DO about it.

Listen to hear:

What's going on with voter suppression in Georgia (and other states)
A mini untold story of the history of voter suppression in the United States
How we are going to work together to help stop voter suppression.

Join us at the For the People Action Hour Event

Monday, April 12th, 2021 from 9-10am PT

Apply for the First Name Basis Communications Director position

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Resources, Articles, Books, & Podcasts:

Ballotpedia, Party Control of Georgia State Government

Georgia Governor Signed a Voter Suppression Law Under a Painting of a Slave Plantation by Will Bunch

Waiting to Vote-The Brennan Center

Georgia Lawmaker Charged With 2 Felonies After Knocking on Governor's Door

A National Campaign to Restrict Voting-The Daily

How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Dr. Heather Cox Richardson 3/25 Newsletter

Dr. Heather Cox Richardson 3/28 Newsletter

The One Thing I Wish You Knew About Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.- First Name Basis

Military Reconstruction After the Civil War

Watch the Mormon Women for Ethical Government Conference: Be The Change: Becoming the Principled Citizens and Peacemakers Our Nation Needs Now

Congress Must Pass the 'For The People Act'

The For The People Act is America's Next Great Civil Rights Bill

Georgia's Proposed Voting Restrictions Will Harm Black Voters Most

Annotated Guide to the For The People Act of 2021

67% of Americans Support the For The People Act

Ballotpedia, Automatic Voter Registration

Locked Out 2020: Estimates of People Denied Voting Rights Due to a Felony Conviction

Stop Jim Crow 2.0

Vote Save America

Season 3 Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.18: For Those of Us Who Need A Little Bit of Hope Apr 06, 2021

Show notes

Things have felt heavy lately and I thought we all might need a little hope. This is the audio from an IG live that I shared last week. Take some time to reflect on what it means to be an abolitionist and what that looks like in your life. Love y'all so much!

"Don't get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month or a year, it is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble." John Lewis

Justice in America with Clint Smith & Josie Duffy Rice

Mariame Kaba and Prison Abolition

Season 3 Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

3.17: Ask Dr. Leslie Telfer (aka my mom) Mar 24, 2021

Show notes

You asked, she answered! Last time I had my mom, Dr. Leslie Telfer, on the podcast you had SO MANY great questions for her! After she shared about her 30 year career as a psychologist who specialized in PTSD you wanted to know more. I asked her all of your burning questions about the parenting style her and my dad used, the way that she was able to balance her profession and her family, and strategies for finding your passion and purpose when you're a busy mom. I'm super biased, but my mom is pretty dang cool. Tune in, I think you'll find some nuggets of advice that you really love.

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 26: "My Working Mom, Chasing Her Dreams with Leslie Telfer PhD, Clinical Psychologist"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 15: "A Survival Guide for Women in Male-Dominated Spaces with Nina Clarke-Telfer, Electrical Engineer"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 16: "PSA: Women's History Isn't Just For Women"

Invest in Bravery Mag a magazine that highlights women from history and empowers our children to be their own kind of brave! Grab one for yourself or gift a subscription to someone you love!

Follow Bravery on Instagram!

About Progress with Monica Packer, Do Something!

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.16: PSA: Women's History Isn't Just For Women Mar 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode I interview Ashley Aikele and Elyse Beard, the founders of Bravery Magazine. Bravery Magazine is my favorite tool for teaching women's history, each issue introduces real role models and aims to empower kids to "be their own kind of brave." We dig into the origin story of Bravery Magazine, the importance of intersectionality, and the myth that feminism hurts men and boys. One of the most powerful moments of the interview is when Ashley and Elyse open up about what they'd tell their younger selves about womanhood. This episode will give you everything you need to confidently respond when someone says that women's history is just for women.

Invest in Bravery Mag for yourself or gift a subscription to someone you love!

Follow Bravery on Instagram!

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 15: "A Survival Guide for Women in Male-Dominated Spaces with Nina Clarke-Telfer, Electrical Engineer"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 26: "My Working Mom, Chasing Her Dreams with Leslie Telfer PhD, Clinical Psychologist"

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.15: A Survival Guide for Women in Male-Dominated Spaces Mar 09, 2021

Show notes

Women are tasked with navigating male-dominated spaces each and every day. As an electrical engineer my sister, Nina Clarke-Telfer, knows how frustrating it can be to fight for the respect she deserves and be taken seriously. Not only is she a woman in an industry where women comprise only 13% of the workforce, she is a mixed Woman of Color. She has had to learn what it takes to carve out a place for herself and make her voice heard and she is sharing her best tips with us. This episode highlights four things we can do to help ourselves and our daughters navigate spaces that were not created with us in mind.

Make your voice heard
Build confidence and resilience
Encourage our daughters to explore potential career paths
Create opportunities for exploration for our daughters

Down with the patriarchy, am I right ladies!?

Women In Engineering By The Numbers

Women of Color in the Engineering Workplace

Check out Bravery Magazine, a magazine that highlights women from history and empowers our children to be their own kind of brave

Enjoy 20% off of back issues and recurring subscriptions the week of 3/8/21 with code IWD2021

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

3.14: The Untold Story of Fried Chicken Feb 17, 2021

Show notes

We're all familiar with the stereotype that Black people love fried chicken. It has been used to degrade, dehumanize, and uphold racism. But where does this stereotype come from? And why was fried chicken singled out?

In this episode, we explore the answers to both of these questions and show the role that fried chicken has played in perpetuating white supremacy. Plus, my dad makes an appearance at the end of the podcast to share his perspective too.

Bite-sized Black History

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History Month celebration in your home or classroom!

First Name Basis Patreon community

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Articles, Studies, & Podcasts Referenced in the Episode

"Where Did That Fried Chicken Stereotype Come From?" Code Switch Podcast

"'Writing History With Lightning:' The Birth of a Nation at 100," by Rachel Janie, TIME

"'The Birth of a Nation'; The 1915 Film Screened at the White House Depicting Blacks as Savages," by Michael Eli Dokosi, Face 2 Face Africa

"Prejudgements of Those Who Eat 'Healthy' vs 'Unhealthy' Food for Breakfast," by Michael E. Oakes and Carole S. Slotterback

"Jubilee," a cookbook by Toni Tipton-Martin

"'The Fried Chicken Capital:' Where Racial Progress Began Along the Rails," NPR

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 11: "The One Thing I Wish You Knew About Dr. Martin Luther King Jr."

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 24: "Cancel Culture Pt. 3: Removing Statues"

"So You Want to Talk About Race" by Ijeoma Oluo

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

3.13: Bringing Chinese Culture Into Our Homes Feb 10, 2021

Show notes

Since the start of the pandemic the Asian-American community has faced heightened discrimination, racism, and violence. In this episode I give concrete examples of what it looks like to stand up against this racism and how we can model these anti-racist actions for our children. We then transition into my conversation with children's author Andrea Wang to learn how we can bring Chinese culture into our homes and get involved with the Chinese community in our area. Andrea shares ideas for learning about and celebrating Lunar New Year. Not only is Andrea a talented, hilarious writer, she also has two boys and an advanced degree in environmental science. It was such a joy to connect with someone I admire so much!

During our conversation we cover:

Her path to becoming an author and her inspiration behind writing The Nian Monster
Lunar New Year, her favorite Lunar New Year traditions, and how families who don't usually celebrate Lunar New Year can get involved
Her experiences growing up in a predominantly white community
The importance of teaching our children about implicit bias and how to help your children dispel stereotypes they may have about the Chinese community
The #ownvoices movement in which authors of color and other marginalized groups are advocating for themselves and fighting for the space to tell their own story
The importance of having an inclusive bookshelf
Using the OurStory App to find inclusive books
The issues with the book Tikki Tikki Tembo and Grace Lin's essay about the book
The projects that Andrea has coming up in the next few years

Check out Andrea's Books!

How to get in contact with and keep up with Andrea

The Event Kit & Teacher Guide for The Nian Monster

PBS Documentary: The Chinese Exclusion Act

Speaking Up Against Racism Around the New Coronavirus by Learning For Justice

How To Respond To Coronavirus Racism

Purchase Bite-sized Black History

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History Month celebration in your home or classroom!

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram

"Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected