Stay ConnectedOn the FIRST day of quarantine during a global pandemic, comedy couple Andy Haynes and Rosebud Baker started podcasting from a bunker in LA, hoping their relationship could outlast the coronavirus. ….Two days later, they were engaged. Now they’re REALLY stuck together.
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Copyright: © 2021 Rosebud Baker & Andy Haynes
Hey Beaches, this is the last pod from us till October, We recorded it at the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal last Wednesday and we had a lot of fun. Feel free to message us in the mean time. The patreon is paused, but still active. We might post some updates in there. Otherwise you know how to get ahold of us, but if you don't...
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Hey Beaches, happy Monday! Here's the last episode before the live episode, which is the last episode before we take a break. We hope you're having a cool one.
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Hey Beaches, we're rounding out the last few eps of the pod before our break and discuss our return in October. That's right: our return. Anyways, we talk about discovering Mouse's left-handedness, and Rosie uncovers a traumatic childhood memory. It's fun.
BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to. It’s much more affordable than in-person therapy. You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/findyourbeach
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Fresh back from Upstate, a very delirious Andy and Rosie talk about the trip, being stuck hosting for the rest of their lives, comedy. and a run in with a rattlesnake. Thanks for all the birthday wishes.
BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to. It’s much more affordable than in-person therapy. You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/findyourbeach
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Hey Beaches,
This week we mainly talk about how bad the state of the nation is and how Rosebud wants to suicide bomb her uterus. It's fun!
To learn more about what you can do to help with abortion rights and healthcare access go to podvoices.help.
We encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.
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Hey Beaches, we're back, and we're still apart. Andy checks in on Rosie's wild weekend in Minneapolis where she made a man cry. Andy has some fun with zoom background, and we announce a pause. We love you.
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Hey Beaches, just a quick one from Andy this week because Andy and Rosie's schedule didn't align, and Mouse ran off with a Husky named "Bones". Hope you enjoy it, and we'll see you next time. Also, if you're a Patreon member, go check out the page to see what we've done to the tiers. If you want to keep getting the extra episode, you'll need to sign up by July 1st.
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Hey we're back with another long distance episode. Andy is still in the UK, which he describes unenthusiastically, and Rosebud rubs her week of hermit style relaxation. She also talks about going on a boat, and seeing a play. Andy is just eating crisps. Sorry the sound is so bad. Rosebud refuses to download garageband.
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Hey Gang, we're back with another episode from Anita's basement. We talk tech scams, lived trauma, and Andy fans at Rosie's shows. Have a good week.
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Live from Vancouver British Columbia at the JFL Northwest festival, but actually in our hotel room.
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After a little bit of a hiccup, we're back in business. We talk Rosie's last week at her job, drama in the podcast world, and the secret to socializing at a party: MAPS
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Hey Beaches, we're back after a little exhaustion break to talk about our weeks. Andy retells his adventure of trying to go to a Freddie Gibbs concert, Rosebud revisits Van Life, and we give some bad advice.
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Recorded at the Creek and the Cave in Austin Texas.
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Hey Beaches,
Happy Monday. On today's episode we talk about gun toting suburbanites, the financial perils of marriage, and we ask why do people have kids? We also read some bad advice and remind you to come to our live show this week at the Moontower Comedy Festival. You can do that right here.
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Hey Beaches,
This week on the pod we talk about Andy's new money making venture being a professional narc and probably getting beaten up. We also discuss Mouse's night in the limelight and some inappropriate DMs she sent to Jake Gyllenhaal.
Happy Monday!
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Hey Beaches, this week on the pod we talk about Take Your Husband to Work day at SNL, the rigorous demands of party/work life, and a bunch of other inanity. The interesting part was Andy was outgoing and even smiled when he talked to people. Happy Monday!
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Hey Beaches,
We're back for another banger. Rosebud and Andy reunite for the first time in what seems like months, but it's only been ten days. We talk a little shop about the road and state of our long distance marriage, and then we dig into an incident at the AMC Burbank 16 this past week, where a "standup momic" performed for a captive audience waiting to see the Lost City. Happy Monday!
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Hey Beaches,
This is a re-release of Friday's Patreon Episode; so if you aren't a Patreon member and missed this full episode it's your lucky week. Andy and Rosebud were down at SXSW this week and they did a live podcast as an event from the show. We are all super excited about this one and we just couldn't keep this one to ourselves. It was such a blast to do a pod in front of a live audience. Let us know if you felt like we changed after the big lights. Additionally, we brought back an old friend and one of the first/only guests in FYB history: Blair Socci. Having Blair on the pod is always lovely, it gives us someone to comfort Andy and tell Rosebud she’s right. We hope you enjoy our live podcast from SXSW on this week of FYB.
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Hey Beaches,
Getting this in just under the wire. Rosie and I recorded this this morning on little sleep before we flew to Austin for SXSW. We revisit some of our favorite moments over the last two years. We say it in the episode, but thank you for supporting us over the last two years, and thank you for all the sweet messages. We literally couldn't have done it without you, and by it I mean not perished in the early and late days of the pandemic. We did it kids. Watch out for the SXSW ep next week.
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Hey Beaches,
Andy is doing a solo episode while he is out on tour in Utah. He catches up with voicemails, emails, comments and other fan correspondence. Tune in and to see if he answers one of your questions!
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Hey Beaches, if you haven't heard by now, Rosie was hired as one of the new writers at SNL and she's real busy. So we're going to take a few weeks off of Monday episodes, but don't worry. We'll be back the 14th for our 2 year anniversary. Yee-haw. If you don't want to miss us for that long, head over to the Patreon and subscribe:
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Also, I'll be doing a solo episode next week so...
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Honestly, I forgot what we talked about, but I think it was good.
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Hey Beaches!
We need you guys to weigh in, when on a familyu vacation is it appropriate to bring a slutty swimsuit? Is it okay to try and get laid on vacation? Rosebud needs answers while Andy is just happy to sit back and watch. Hear the debate and add your own thoughts on our new Voicemail!
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Hey Beaches!
This week we hear your thoughts on Rosebud's desire for a no contact day. You all are apparently very opinionated on the matter. We also talk about Andy feeling bullied, if you should send texts with punctuation and as always, our ever impending divorce
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Hey Beaches, this week Rosebud and Andy discuss upset audience members including an email Rosebud received. Then Andy opens up the polls to see if it’s fair of Rosebud asks him for one day a week where he’s not allowed to ask questions. Happy Monday y’all; we have less than six weeks till Daylight savings.
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Hey Beaches!
Today we read a riveting listener sex story that has us both stunned. We talk through hanging out with Rosebuds father, if rapist go to heaven and if we could land on our house from an airplane.
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Hey Beaches! In this week’s episode we finally get to the bottom of the alcoholic twins with cancer bad advice question, Rosie tells us a sketch idea, and Andy warns about the perils of uncircumcised weiners.
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PS: Forgot to mention it in the episode, but VIB Luca and some friends are finding some of the best vintage sportswear and posting it over at www.instagram.com/gamedaygrails Go check it out and get your teams OG drip.
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Hi Beaches,
We're back and sicker than ever. We're hitting the road and catching all the variants! This week on the pod, we talk about why marriage requires amnesia, Rosebud caught something while touring Texas and Andy has space-y long covid.
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We did it folks!!! We made it to another year. We have no idea what that year entails, but we're here. This is our first live show recorded from Laughs Comedy Club in Seattle where we celebrated the Nuevo Ano, and took Bad Advice questions straight from the audience. Hope you enjoy, and if you're looking for the video, it's going up this week on the Patreon ONLY, so subscribe to that and otherwise Happy New Year!
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Merry Christmas Beaches!
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Hi Beaches,
Andy and Rosebud return from the the road to report on their journey from Texas to New Orleans and back home; ie the Covid Caravan. Specifically we discuss one harrowing night in a Roanoke Best Western and the real perils of a cute little mountain town.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on the pod, we're diving into the new season of "Dexter" and discussing why Michael C. Hall looks like musty theater boy. Rosebud calls out Juul for missing the perfect sponsorship opportunity and Andy is smooth as a dolphin after going nuts with his manscaped trimmer.
TEXT your BAD ADVICE questions to 917-540-8395 Tis the season to load up on MANSCAPED™ Products! So get you man, your dad, your brother, and friends the best gift of all - The MANSCAPED™ Performance Package 4.0 Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code [FYB] at Manscaped.com
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Welcome back to the beach!
This week on the pod, we're pissed about Roe v. Wade and break down Chinatown abortions. We also have an Italian guide to dating featuring the Cuomo bros and Rosebud has a spiritual experience with acupuncture.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on Find Your Beach, Andy and Rosebud talk about their family's bloody past, Andy has a new job and getting paid in crypto, all of Rosebud's friends are getting pregnant and having kids and we go over our Thanksgiving feast with Bobby Kelly and our fur daughter Mouse.
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The situation with our neighbor, the Great American Cunt, has grown even more. #MOUSEGATE is in full effect now. In addition you’ll hear our new takes about Tiger King and Kyle Rittenhouse and the general sense of tension in the world. Thank you Manscape for supporting the podcast.
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Hey Beaches,
We're back for another Monday ep, unfortunately Rosie got stuck in the Orlando airport, so the we had to do this one over Zoom. We don't like it either! Good news is we're not traveling for a few, so expect that sweet sweet in studio look and feel for the next few of these. In this episode we talk about coaster life, relationship idioms, and Rosie's rebound.
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Hi Beaches!
Another podcast on the road. We seem to be doing podcasts and marriage virtually now. Rosebud is in DC with Bert, while Andy holds down the fort in New York City. Listen to all the great ways our lives and relationship improve when we are apart.
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Rosebud is still on the road and Andy is about to go on the road, but fate would have it that they had 3 hours in New York to throw passive aggressive barbs at each other while complaining about their decadent lives and occasionally expressing love. You know; the usual.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on the pod, we talk about the awkwardness of kissing a friend...on the mouth! Andy takes up spin cycling at home and Rosebud's feature comedy album "Whiskey Fists" can now be streamed on Pandora! Click the link to listen: https://800pgr.lnk.to/WhiskeyFists
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Welcome back to the beach. For the record, Andy and Rosebud kissed and made up and installed a stylish "Countdown to Divorce" clock in the new bunker. We're taking bets. Also on the pod, Andy's Dad is digging through Rosebud's past skits, we read some of your heartfelt reviews and we still don't give a fuck about the leaves!
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Hi Beaches!
Full disclosure, it's been a rough week and it all started with a bad batch of mozzarella sticks. This week on Find your Beach, We listen to some of Rosebud's haunted sleep recordings, turns out she's possessed by the ghost of Annabelle. Andy and Rosebud argue about Fall and Justin Bieber and missing out on the beauties of the natural world. It's a deep one folks. Also, text us your BAD ADVICE questions to be featured on the beach!
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Hi Beaches!
Come on in, the water is warm! This week on Find Your Beach, Rosebud is kicked off ZocDoc for blowing off half the doctors in New York City, Andy breaks down his plan to invade the Mormon church and we discuss Dave Chappelle's controversial new Netflix special. Make sure you text us your BAD ADVICE questions and your CHILDHOOD TRAUMA stories and you'll get a shout out on the pod!
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Aloha Beaches!
Welcome back to the beach! This week on the pod, we're talking about the absurdity of Squid Game, Rosebud reveals some top secret information about the new CDC covid guidelines and Andy talks about his side hustle of selling butthole pics online, you guys - business is booming!
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Hi Beaches!
It's another special patreon episode of Find Your Beach. This week, we're tackling a very sensitive topic. The anatomy of a Karen. We dissect a perfect example of this modern day phenomenon. Also, we go over one of your BAD ADVICE questions and Rosebud and Andy talk about their upcoming trip to Iceland!
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Hi Beaches!
Welcome back to the beach, pull up a chair. This week on the pod, Rosebud shares her odd experience with her therapist, Andy cums in Matrix code and we're celebrating our 1 year anniversary by busting out our freezer-burned wedding cake - it's disgusting.
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Aloha Beaches!
Welcome back to the Beach. This week on the pod, Joe Rogan got us all hyped on America and we're ready to rock out with the sheep! Rosebud talks about her plastic surgery journey and Andy contemplates killing his mom. It's a special episode just for the sexy Patreon members!
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Hi Beaches!
This week on the pod, Andy is on the road being a good son and an even better nurse. Between putting on compression socks and filling up lemonade we managed to record a podcast. We talk about the art of small talk, needing to impress our parents and the reasons why you would call off work.
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Aloha Beaches!
Welcome back to another episode of Find Your Beach. This week on the pod, we're discussing the struggles of a long distance marriage, Rosebud talks about locking her mom in an attic and fighting with Marc Maron and Andy shares the nuances of penis stretching techniques. It's a weird one.
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Aloha Beaches! Welcome back to the beach! This week on the pod, Rosebud and Andy take a look at all of the crazy outfits from this year's MET Gala. From Kim Kardashian looking like everyone's nightmare to A$AP Rocky wearing a Captain Crunch Blanket, we are the fashion critics you didn't know you needed - we definitely know what we're talking about.
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Hi Beaches,
Welcome back to the beach! This week on the pod, we're talking about our anniversary plans to Iraq (spoiler: we actually don't have any plans), teaching kids how to do cocaine and the weird gifts Rosebud's mom has given over the years. Love you beaches! See you next week.
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Aloha Beaches!
Welcome back to the beach - this week on the pod, Rosebud is on death's door after OD'ing on Tums, Andy talks about his concerned with teenagers and his highly caffeinated urine and Rosebud is a corporation for abortions!
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Hi Beaches,
It's the Andy show on this episode of Find Your Beach. On the pod, Andy talks about his wild trip back to NYC during Hurricane Ida, getting into fights with country hicks and how he plans to move too Iraq to drive a truck. It's a very Andy "pussy hands" Haynes special!
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Aloha Beaches! Welcome back to another episode of Find Your Beach. This week on the pod, we connect with our emotions and talk about why it feels so good to cry. Andy and Rosebud discuss becoming "ass people" and prostate milking. In other news, our dog Mouse is twerking with city girls and we talk about why Andy's big break will be on SNL as an old man.
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Hi Beaches,
On this Patreon episode, we're getting deep. Very deep. Rosebud and Andy talk about coming up and grinding in their comedy careers, Andy talks about his struggles with social media and why he should have started therapy later in life and we have a great Childhood Shame" story involving Doritos.
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Hi Beaches,
Welcome back to a sexy episode of Find Your Beach. On the pod, we're cracking open Andy's childhood, discussing why everyone is a little gay and how phones are fucking up our babies. We also shout out long time supporter of the beach, Mariska Hargitay!
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Aloha Beaches!
It's a spicy patreon episode this week. On the pod, Rosebud talks about the time Mouse shit on an airplane, we get down and dirty with our favorite types of nipples and why men always breakdown their stats when they're ready to throw down!
Ok, love you bye!
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Welcome back Beaches,
Take cover friends! On the pod, we talk about how our parents tried to keep us from becoming gay, sleeping in a tent to get away from your partner and why living in Staten Island is just like living in an Applebee's. This episode is brought to you by Hurricane Henri and the chaos is caused here in NYC.
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Hi Beaches,
This is a heartfelt episode for the all the real beaches out there, you know who you are. On the pod, we discuss the differences between hanging out with Liberals and Conservatives, ferrets could be the best baby killers of all and we share our dreams of getting lost in France.
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Aloha Beaches!
On today's podcast we discuss Andy's plans for being president of the world, our weird body proportions, what being married to Trump would be like and the many sacrifices of being married on this week's episode of Find Your Beach.
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Hi Beaches!
This week we we fill you in on climate change, show SECRET recording of Rosebud's nightmare, talk about what would happen if the other died and what it takes to be a good travel buddy.
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Hi Beaches! We're back in the studio ripping off this episode of Find Your Beach. This week on the pod, we're off the wagon sampling zero-proof alcohol, talking about Joe Rogan's weird nipples, and we're shouting out Big Pete and his whole family for supporting the beach! We love you! TEXT your BAD ADVICE questions to 917-540-8395 Subscribe to the Patreon for exclusive videos and behind the scenes clips: http://www.patreon.com/findyourbeach... Follow Andy: http://www.instagram.com/imandyhaynes... Follow Rosebud: http://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker... Produced at Park Studio: https://www.parkstudio.nyc/ Follow Park Studio NYC: @parkstudio.nyc
Aloha Beaches!
We're back in the studio and better than ever! This week on the pod, we battle it out over Rosebud's love for My Pillow (it's a damn good pillow - sorry), Andy judges a dog bikini contest and we discuss the awkwardness of coughing in public because of COVID-19.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on Find Your Beach, we're unraveling our childhood traumas and sharing them right here on the pod! Rosebud reveals her childhood dream of having a dick, Andy comes clean about jerking off in a doctor's office and why back massagers make great vibrators. K Bye!
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Aloha Beaches!
Welcome back! Lots of fun stuff of the pod this week. We talk about why Rosebud is too hot for comedy, Andy unlocks the mysteries behind sex robots and why Freedom of speech is weirdly one sided.
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Welcome back Beaches! This week on the pod, Andy puts all the cards on the table and shares how he wants to live out the rest of his life (hint: he wants to die). That being said, Rosebud plans slay into her 50s.
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Hey Beaches! This is a preview of this week's Patreon episode . On it Rosebud had a monster week so we're back recording in the bunker for this episode of Find Your Beach. This week on the pod, Andy tries to overdose on melatonin, Charlie is going away for summer camp and Rosebud gets her ass eaten during a message.
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Hi Beaches!
Well, Coronavirus dropped a mixtape...and it's fire! Delta Variant what what?!? This week on the pod, Andy sends a sex worker to college, Rosebud plans her queen lifestyle after Andy dies and Right-wing nut jobs are singing the national anthem in Walmart. Enjoy.
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Preview of this week's Patreon episode:
Aloha Beaches!
Guys...Andy I had a fight. He barely survived. This week on the pod, we're freeing the nipple and breaking down Rosebud's expert fighting skills. Also, our teenage neighbors are cutting up coke with Pokemon cards and snorting it off their iPhones...so there's that.
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Aloha Beaches!
This week on Find Your Beach, we discuss why straight people should "spill the beans" in causal conversation, Rosebud has a meltdown on vacation, Andy plans a camping trip with a Russian Volleyball team, and we workshop our new pop single, called "Blow Your Friends". It's about to be the song of the summer. Just sayin'.
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Aloha Beaches,
We're back from the beach! This week on the pod, we talk about our vacation excursions and Andy shares why his dad's values are cemented like a fossil in time.
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Aloha Beaches!
This week on the Find Your Beach, Andy teaches Rosebud to use the Spanish keyboard and we decode the meaning to Despacito. Rosebud shares how she finds Andy's micropenis, and we bust out the psychology book and deal with our deepest trauma's right here on the show.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on the pod, we're talking about AOC and riding in Teslas, Andy's boomer dad tries to be woke and we breakdown why Millennials can't laugh at anything.
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Welcome back Beaches! This week on Find Your Beach, we take a narcissist test, discuss seeing movies on oxy, and watching the Knicks with our friend, Michael Che.
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Hey Beaches,
We made it. It doesn't matter what we said, we recorded and released one hundred episodes. The curse should be lifted and hopefully we'll be returned to our preferred genders. Thank you for all your help, support, and patience. Now rip that mask off and tongue kiss your Uber drive.
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Hi Beaches!
This week on the pod, Andy shares his plan to get hair transplants from a Turkish guy, Rosebud shares a memorable porn experience and we talk about why you shouldn't buy vitamins from the Kardashians.
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Aloha Beaches, This week on the pod, Rosebud has to show Andy where the vagina is, Andy shares why he can't cry and we debate whether or not skinheads love sunscreen.
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Hey Beaches, gonna start posting a preview of the Patreon episode to entice the normies into joining the beach. If you're already a Patreon member, swipe left, hit delete and disregard.
Our pussies are charged on this pod! Rosebud shares why her Mom hates the show, Andy breaks down penis whitening and hair restoration treatments and why giving up vaping may have been the worst thing for our marriage.
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Hi Beaches, This week on the pod we align our groin chakras, discuss the cum trees of New York and the importance of getting juiced before your wedding.
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Hey Beaches, This week on the pod, we talk about our parents and their struggles with technology and Andy has Rosebud taste test some of the finest vegan delicacies.
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Aloha Beaches,
This week on the pod, we call Rosebud's sisters and discuss Andy as an addition to the family. Let's just say - hurt people, hurt people.
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Hey Beaches, This week on the pod we talk shit about Jeff Bezos, Instagram finds Rosebud a new family and we reveal our master plan to open a weed dispensary.
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This week on the pod Rosebud and Andy, still recovering from their 5G injection talk about vaccination, Joe Rogan and Gwyneth Paltrow’s similarities, and why Andy can’t keep a secret.
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This week on the pod, we talk about scamming, passive-aggressive panhandlers, and new Oreo flavors. Also fuck Piers Morgan. Subscribe to the Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/findyourbeach Follow Andy: http://www.instagram.com/imandyhaynes... Follow Rosebud: http://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker... Produced at Park Studio: http://parkstudio.nyc Follow Park Studio NYC: @parkstudio.nyc SHOW LESS
Hi Beaches, Today we talk about Mouse’s first rap song, the creatures of New York City and break down the origins of “the baby in the box”. Subscribe to the Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/findyourbeach Follow Andy: http://www.instagram.com/imandyhaynes Follow Rosebud: http://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker Produced at Park Studio: http://parkstudio.nyc Follow Park Studio NYC: @parkstudio.nyc
This week on the pod we celebrate International Women’s Day, ie Andy tries not to interrupt Rosebud. We also talk shooting guns, Mormon murder, and getting so high you think you think you see a ghost.
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Today’s ep we talked about cum fountains, the baby in the box, Buttchuggin cold brew, and eavesdropping on Andy’s therapy sessions. Enjoy it!!
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Today’s episode we talk about the beauty of marriage, Andy beefing up with pea protein, Single guys, and the bringing kale salad to Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy it Beeches.
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Hey Beaches, this week Andy and Rosebud talk food you can wear, our single lives before, and porn preferences. There’s even a ghost sighting. It’s pretty spooky.
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This week Rosie and Andy talk about their origin story, Valentines Day, Mousey's birthday, and her disgusting plans for a party. Hint: it involves a stripper pole. Maybe we’ll use the one we found up Andy’s ass during the episode? Listen and find out! SOUND OFF IN THE DMs!!!
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This week we had to record from home after NYC was hit by back to back blizzards. Luckily, the heats working and we taught Mouse how to pick up sundries from the bodega. We talk about the Super Bowl, Margarine Taylor Greene, and what we’re watching on Netflix. Love y’all.
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Was this a podcast episode or a breath of fresh, covid-droplet free air? It’s both, Beaches. Andy and Rosie come to you straight from their new home at Park Studios in Brooklyn NY where they’re recording into real mics (not these shitty lollipops you’re used to hearing!) with a real camera, on a real SET- like our listeners DESERVE. We aren’t fucking around anymore (and if you’re a Patreon subscriber, you’re gonna get some TEA this week.) Every episode recorded will go straight to the Youtubez. Are we excited? You bet both your tits we are. Enjoy.
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Hey Beaches, this is the 83rd episode of Find Your Beach, the podcast. We talk about a lot of fun things on here, including sex, Florida, and the weather in New York. We're too tired to write a better intro, but I think the podcast was still quality.
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Well Beaches, we can't really tell you what this episode is about, because it really isn't about anything. Andy drank some cold brew too late and proceeded to change the subject about every three seconds, but in what we think is a fun way. We hope this isn't your first time listening to the pod, but if it is, this happens sometimes. We're nuts.
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Hey Beaches, the revolution happened and failed, and we talk about it, as well shower sex, and what are genitals look like. It's pretty fun, but I'm biased. Hope you're having a good Monday while listening to this, just in case it's all of our last Monday, cause Don still has the nuclear codes. Cheers!
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Welp Beaches, this is this week's episode, and it's pretty dang weird. Maybe not, but I'm pretty tired and I feel weird. Maybe I'm projecting. Anyways, we talk about predictions for the new year, how to kill a Real Housewife, and Rosie ignores Andy's boundaries and makes him look at a medical disaster. Happy Monday!
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Hey Beaches, we're in Maine. We don't really talk about it, but it's basically the opposite of a beach. It has beaches, but they're not nice, especially now. Anyways, we talk about the holidays, presents, and the dangers of talking to strangers in the COVID testing lines. Happy Monday!
**Also send us New Year resolutions to fybpod@gmail.com or on Insta.**
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On this very special episode of FYB, we have our first in person guest join us in the treehouse. Do we call it that? The fort? Mount Beach? Anyways, we're up in the sky and Ian Fidance is here to create chaos and talk lots of gross sex stuff. Warning: We say some regrettable things on this one. Also: When we call Ian's mom, Gail, you have to really turn it up to hear her. Sorry. We love you. Happy Monday.
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Hey Beaches, we really should have done a podcast that got longer with each episode. Like this episode would've been seventy seven minutes, but it's not. It's forty something. Anyways, we got in a fight at the beginning of the episode and then made up and talked about the differences between girl hangs and boy hangs. We also talked about... honestly I forget because it's early, but great to be here.
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Hey Beaches, we're back from the holiday, except we didn't go anywhere. We talk the joys of staying away from family for the holidays, going upstate, and Mouse's "illness" in this special split episode. The second half is up on the Patreon to make up for missing Friday.
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Happy Monday Beaches, today's episode leaks exclusive info from the white house, a revisit to the baby in the box, a couple of jokes straight outta stinktown (andy's brain) and an old classic, a radio play. A real silly one. Enjoy!
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Today's episode is a special crossover episode between Find Your Beach Podcast and "Devil's Advocate w/ Rosebud Baker," brought to you by a severe lack of planning by Rosebud. We do our own version of Will & Jada's Red Table Talk, but ....and no shade to Will and Jada, but... funnier.
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Hey Beaches, we sit down to talk the good news and a little about how New York received it. We also talk about possibly trying to have kids and then Andy explores more ways he'd like to die.
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Hey Beaches, sorry for the delay. We messed up and deleted the episode because we thought we uploaded the one where we said all the horrible things we really feel. Our dark web version. Anyhoodles, Andy recorded from Chicago, and talked about his midwestern adventures and racist books on tape.
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Hey Beaches, we're coming in hot on this episode with some classic FYB bits and coverage of your local news. We talk about the 2nd wave, how to prepare, and giving up on dreams. I also solicit someone to hunt us, AS A JOKE! Happy Monday, we love you!
Hey Beaches,
We had a bit of a family emergency yesterday that messed up our schedule, and kind of our week, but we muscled one out. You can probably tell we're not at our fighting weight, but there's some fun in there. I think? Anyways, enjoy it.
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Tonight's episode is brought to you by Mercury Retrograde. We talk about moving to the woods, Andy's plans to find another lover, and our weekend trip to Chicago. This episode is chill, but silly. Like a clown sipping on a glass of chardonnay.
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If you're reading this, it's Monday. Probably Monday morning, and you've leapt out of bed to see what we're predicting about the impending death of a) the president, or b) the money tree you bought in May; and SPOILER ALERT: one or both of them will die this month. Rosie shares couple's advice from a neurosurgeon, we fight about couples costumes on Halloween, and then, we discuss the more serious issue at hand: HOW will Andy preserve his rapidly decaying teeth when the country falls to anarchy? (Luckily, Rosie has some solutions because she is the hero of the relationship and did not write this herself.)
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Today's episode was old school, and by old school, we mean we're releasing it late. We talked about naked dancing on the beach, sexual hangups, dirty talk (our attempts at it,) and our noise-war with the Bros Next Door. Come see Rosebud in Chicago at Zanies Oct 9-10th.
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Hey Beaches. We're in Mexico on our honeymoon because we got married. I'm trying to get Rosebud pregnant and she's trying not to get sun-damage. We also thought we'd catch you up on our life for the past week. We talk about regular people acting like influencers, hanging out with friends on your honeymoon, and Tulum PD. Thanks for tuning in. We love you.
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We're not really retiring, but we are getting married. Actually tomorrow. So wish us luck or whatever... Anyhoodles, we talk about the wedding, our honeymoon, and honestly I can't remember, but I know we laughed a fair amount. Even though this week is a busy one we'll be recording a Patreon ep for Friday, and then next free ep will be from our Luna De Miel in Tulum. Let's hope we don't get kidnapped and forced to mule cocaine. Would make for a great ep though. See y'all on the otherside!!!
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Apologies for the audio quality on this one Beaches. Rosie's on her bachelorette weekend, and we had to do it over zoom. BUT it's kind of a sweet one. We talk about our upcoming nuptials, jet skis, and our friend Petey Deabreu (@pdeezjokes) joins us.
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Hey Beaches. We’re just back from the Rockaways and we’re polluted with sun poisoning and gamma rays, but luckily we have cold brew and captagon. We talk about beach culture, the impending civil war, and #couplesgoals. Happy whatever day it is.
Hey Beaches! We're back, and I know we're back every week, but I still can't believe it. This episode starts a little slow, but then a call from the President of the United States of America (@shrimpjaj), we really get going. We talk the pandemic, which shows he's streaming, and of course the election "going down". Happy whatever day it is.
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Hey Beaches, we recorded this one with very little sleep, but our new producer Adi was there to make sure we didn't just lick the microphones like ice cream cones. It's a good one. We talk some shit, and then we talk some more shit. Enjoy!
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Well Beaches, we did it. We made it 60 episodes without killing ourselves or a priest. Pretty impressive. On this ep we talk about Andy's trip to the woods, Rosebud's premenstrual period ritual, and our new producer Adi. We also talk about our childrens' collection of bones. Our children have a collection, not bones of children, just to be clear. Happy whatever fucking day it is!!!
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Andy is writing this from a campsite in rural Massachusetts. Rosebud is probably starfishing in the bed she got to sleep in by herself all night. In this episode we talk about time travel, couples fights, and jerking off in the wilderness. It's a good one!
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Hey Guys! And yes I mean guys. This is a little episode for just the fellas, or anyone that's a fan of mine, and really anyone that will listen. I might start doing a solo mini ep each week, and this is a little test run. Also, I didn't tell Rosebud, so don't rat me out!
Hey Beaches, we're almost done with a weekend at our dads' and we forgot our equipment, so it's a zoom episode. Apologies for the sound "qual." Otherwise, we talk about Andy's future job opportunities, Rosebud's bikini line, and possibly having to self quarantine.
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On a break from a writing deadline, Andy joins Rosebud to talk about the further maddening that's been happening to them due to black mold in their apartment, Rosebud talks about a new religion, and Andy looks forward to bonding with his new father in law. Happy Monday Beaches!
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Sorry Beaches, but the title for this episode is what it is for a reason. We reached a new milestone in our relationship, and you'll have to listen to find out why. Besides that, we talk my birthday, wedding planning in a pandemic, and we probably fight too. I think we did, haven't really been awake all day, but we know we love you. Happy Monday!
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Hey Beaches. Happy Monday. Hope you're recovering from your explosive weekend. This week we talk about New York's further descent into chaos, getting owned by teens, and of course, Hamilton. It's a good one.
Sidenote: VI-Bistro is Wednesday at 9pm est. Link will be up in Patreon.
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I don't know why I said that, but it rhymed. The title, that is. We had some fun on this ep talking to some friends, we spoke about queefs, and Charlie jumping in the shower. Look, it's late and don't trust that anybody even reads this thing. Anyway, happy Monday.
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Hey Beaches, happy Monday! Days of the week are starting to make sense again because New York entered Phase 2 today, so people are going to work. Not us though. We're podcasting, which I guess is kind of work. We talk about what we're gonna do, how to properly love a tree, and we read some mail. Enjoy!
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Not much to report here, we talk about Rosie's first foray into FYB merch, and her impulsive nature in general. We cover a little news and unfortunately, a thing that happened with Mouse, as well as Rosie's new version of the Dirty Sanchez. Apologies ahead of time.
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We did it!!! We finally created what will always and forever be known as our worst episode yet, and slid in to the home plate just by the skin of our teeth. I don't know whether to say "we're sorry," or "you're welcome," so we'll let you be the judge.
Write to us: FYBPOD@gmail.com
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We left the city again because we're addicted to movement. This time we're in the Poconos, and we talk about how guilty we feel leaving the city during a civil rights movement. Unfortunately, we also talk about sex. There's no AC here, my brain is melting.
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***YOU CAN ALSO SUPPORT A LOAD OF CHARITIES AND ORGANIZATIONS IN LIEU OF SUPPORTING US; MUTUAL FUNDS, BLACK LIVES MATTER (LOCALLY AND INTERNATIONALLY), BAIL FUNDS, ETC.
We made it Beaches. The Minneapolis Police department is disbanding, the streets are filled with protests, the president is hidden in a bunker, but we made it to episode 50 in a global pandemic, in a quarantine, and we haven't broken up. Andy is tired from being so essential and Rosie's flying high from doing illegal standup in a parking lot in Queens.
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We're back beaches! This is a fun one. We're invigorated by the sweet kiss of fresh water from our trip upstate. Mouse learned to swim by falling into water, which is exactly how Andy intends to teach our first born child how to do it. We talk road trips, COVID tests, fainting, and the rules around equines and drinking. We also dive into the mail bag!
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GOT SOME IDEAS FOR ANDY'S B-DAY PRESENT?? (Keep it secret~Write to Rosebud's other podcast, DevilsAdvocatePod@gmail.com)
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We're back baby Beaches, and we're really on fire. This is the first morning ep we've done in a while, and we'd forgotten the joy of first caffeine euphoria that we used to have in the LA eps. We talk about our new car, not fucking, Mouse's slutty phase, and of course the Rona. Happy Memorial Day!
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We did it! Another episode of Washington Post Magazine's favorite podcast by a couple that also does stand up who are also quarantining. We talk about fame, school dances, and Andy's new pillowless apartment. Then we call my mom, and then we read the relationship advice that you sweethearts sent us. We love ya! Smooch.
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Welp, you'll have to listen to the episode to get the title, but we're steaming ahead with more pods! And can you believe they're on time? Crazy. We talk about collective fatigue, Omegle dangers, and we read some relationship advice. Happy Monday (like it even matters), y'all.
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Beaches, I'm not gonna lie. We're a bit fatigued from our day, and life, and this whole Groundhog's Day pandemic thing, but the important thing is the pod is out on time, like we said it would be. Isn't that something? Punctuality over quality is next to godliness I think. Anyways, we have some fun talking about NYC, the dogs, and then we kind of dive in to the mailbag. Enjoy!
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It’s happened. Mouse has opened an Only Fans account, and is supporting the family with dirty money. Andy is sleep deprived and is yelling outside of hospitals, and Rosebud’s having to bring him home by lying to the feds and telling them he’s her grandpa who’s wandered away from the family property.
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Back in NYC, the ghost town now known for the number of actual ghosts in it. We talk about Mouse's bad (SLUTTY) behavior, more New York moments, and Rosebud's pivot into conspiracy theories about what she's now calling the "PLANDEMIC."
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Back in the Rotten Apple. Thriving, driving (our rental car), and barely surviving Mouse. There's a portable morgue two blocks from our home, and I swear this dog gives us more anxiety. But I digress. We got a fun one Beaches. We talk about being back home, the trouble with fucking with a baby dog, and Andy's otter fandom.
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We're airborne Beaches. Not like the virus, but still, we're on a plane. We talk about the experience at the airport, how annoying we must have been for the other passengers, and the woman who brought a full flat screen TV with her. Btw we made it home. Thanks for all the safe-travel messages from y'all.
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Beaches, we're all packed and ready to go, but not before we record one last episode in the Echo Park Cabana, and reminisce about our favorite memories. We talk about the BITB, the lemon tree, and we read some fan mail. See you guys tomorrow on an airplane.
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I don't know why I got so excited in that title, but I guess I'm just reeling from a great episode. We respond to the viewers requests from Instagram Live, including what we'd tell our past selves. Then we go to the Mail Bag (new segment) and hear from some of you. It's a whole lotta fun. Thanks y'all! We love you.
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Hey day 41 of the quarantine and our 38th episode. We're still in puppy deliriums, As I write this, I'm not sure if I'm actually posting the pod or tapping my fingers on a stump after having talked into a pinecone for an hour. Rosebud may just be small hedge that I've taken to calling my fiance. Nothing makes sense. Love you guys!
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Well Beaches, we've got a real goofy episode. We talk about the baby in the box, a little about the dogs (Mouse is a bitch), and I'm trying to go to a funeral in VR. Thanks for everything you are and will be.
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Beaches! We got a really silly one today. One downside of having a puppy is you never sleep, but the plus side is we are in a delirious loop of compromised reality. We talk about inventions, Rosebud thinks she's pregnant, and we practice headbutting each other. Love ya! Smooch!
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We talk about what we're excited for when we get back to New York, Covid protesters, and the BITB has tattooed Andy's leg like livestock. We think it's a really good episode that you can talk about with your loved ones. (Andy wrote that last sentence, which is why it sounds like a robot impersonating a human.)
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Hey Beaches, we're here for another round of quarantine round up where we talk about the same things, but go crazier and crazier so it's technically different. Our brains are melting!
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We don't actually talk about Jesus. We talk about our crazy day where the high point was seeing a homeless man's dick, and the downside was Charlie getting plant cum in his eyes and having to take him to the hospital. We're recording these at night, so you get them in the AM. Not sure if we like it yet.
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Hey Beaches! We're tired. We got a new puppy. We tried to record a 32 on day 32, but it was a real dud. So there's a lost ep, much like Amelia Earhart's socks. We talk about the puppy, Charlie's depression, and the ongoing symptoms of COVID, we think. Chag Sameach to our Hebrew listeners.
The insta for the listener's shop we mention in the ep is @themossyapothercary btw.
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Beaches. We have a new puppy AND Andy still has a fever, so we dug up the episode of Be Best (Andy's old podcast) where he interviewed Rosebud before they were dating. It's cute!
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We made it! The average time a month takes, that is. And let me tell you something, WE'RE BACK. We talk about the new addition to our family, hobo SNL, and Joe Biden. It's really a fun one.
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Hey Beaches, we're back and we're better than-- well, we're back. We talk about our drinking days, birds, sex, and whether society will every come back from this "retreat".
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It's been four weeks, or two fortnights, or one February (not a leap year), and we're still at it. Andy's fever came back after a rigorous soccer juggling match, and Rosebud is feeling almost better. We talk about bad dates, our twenties, and recount the harrowing tale of when I swallowed a nicotine lozenge last night.
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Will we make it folks. Rosebud's on the mend, and Andy has done irreversible damage to his hair, but we're back in peak shape and stronger than ever. We talk about the baby in the box's birthday party and some possible business ventures.
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Rosie's feeling better, and we talk about Andy's new life as an ass model on Instagram, and Rosie's sleep talking habits, and make a harrowing new discovery about the baby in the box. He eats flesh, you guys. Human flesh.
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Hey Beaches, this episode is not our best work. Rosie is sick and she tries to break up with Andy. Andy also probably does something wrong, but he's writing this so he isn't going to be specific. We don't break up, but we do talk about period sex.
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Happy Sunday Beaches. We're late, but isn't it exciting to get another episode of us on a Sunday afternoon? We talk about our adventures yesterday, the backlash for enjoying one goddamn day of our life and the outcome of a botched hair dye job on Andy. We also try and run bits, but it goes south. Enjoy!
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Hey Beaches, this is a nutty one. Rosie and Andy go to the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve and record in the car on the way home. It's pretty incohesive, but I think we were just euphoric from getting out of the house. Also, we came up for a cure for the coronavirus. No big deal.
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Hey Beaches! We wrote a lengthy blurb here with lots of interesting stuff that would've made you want to listen to this, but then our hosting service fucked us and I had to redo the upload. So here you are, another episode of perfection. Please consider supporting us. After you've considered it, do it.
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It's been three weeks since this began and it feels like a lifetime. Luckily we have each other and you have us, and hopefully some better people (DOGS). We talk about the regular bullshit and then check in with @blairsocci and @gavinmatts ! We update you on Mary's classes, and also the MOZZ video is almost done. I swear it.
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Guys, we're almost near the 3 week mark! Does it mean anything? Is a week a thing now? What's the best way to track time when there is no timeframe? Who cares? We will do this thing till the wheels fall off! We talk about a tragic In N' Out trip, biblical plagues, and some other nonsense. Rose won't stop vaping.
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Rosie is on her period and there's hell to pay. We ramble like insane idiots as per usual, and there's some fan mail too. We also have an update on the BITB (baby in the box).
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It's Day 18- this might be the closest we've come to having a real fight on the pod. Rosie's on her period, and she's heading to the woods, to emerge in seven days covered in blood. We talk about sex, Malibu, murder, and McDonald's. Also, Andy's decided he's ready to be a father.
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We have succumb to the virus. Andy is on day five of symptoms and feels generally shitty. Rosebud is on day one and is threatening murder if I don't give her back her JUUL, which she asked me to hid from her. Pretty great episode with, considering...
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Hey Beaches, it's our 16th day of quarantine and we're starting to feel like young women. We talk about drinking cops' blood, Andy's progress fighting the Rona, and we prank call a few of our family members. It's fun and chaotic as per usual...
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Beaches! We're back and we mean business. Show business! no idea what we mean by that, but we've made another podcast, and even when writing this, we've actually recorded the patreon episode, which we'll edit when andy's fever dreams subside. Thanks for riding along with us.
Can't wait to do it again tomorrrow, when Andy's body feels normal again.
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Hey Beaches! Andy's sick, Rosebud's sick of him, but spirits are high as we talk about our ideal funerals, the state of the world, and astrology. Thanks to all the patrons that went live with us last night. To join the next one go to www.patreon.com/findyourbeach and join the festivities (Andy's online funeral).
The number 13 is supposed to be bad luck, but some cultures think it's good luck, and those cultures have all died. Andy thinks he has the virus (he doesn't), and Rosebud isn't going to let him go without finishing the quiet box!
Support the patreon! Instead of getting a PS4, we're going to donate 10% of our proceeds to people who need it. (Andy's idea- Rosie finds this anti-capitalist and un-american.)
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Twelve days. All of them the same. We're losing our g-damn minds folks. Thank you for supporting us.
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We're really gonna do this everyday, aren't we?
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It's Day 10. We're not gonna make it. The puzzle we're working on is tearing the family apart. Weeks from now, we'll be crying in our loincloths, eating Charlie's legs. praying to the the baby in the box. Hopefully, Andy's daily schedule will help.
Well we've reach day 9, which is a number you get from multiply 3 by 3, which if you're into numerology, I'm sure means something. We talk about why Andy is wearing an eye-patch, sprained dog tails, and how to avoid being taken over by pantry raiders. NOT panty raiders, which we welcome. Happy Saturday, it mean nothing.
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Day 8 Beeches! This is very real.... the police are looking for the mother of the baby in a box and we don’t want anyone to be alarmed. We called them. The mom will get the baby back when she sends us gold. Also, we talk new religions popping up in pandemic times. We might start one. People are getting weird, and their feeble minds are vulnerable to suggestion. So here’s one: become a member of our Patreon!
New theme music by the amazing...
Kenny Hopkins @heyyayhi
Hey Beeches, we've officially been quarantined for a week, and that's either one third of the time, or one eight, but maybe one fifty-secondth. We have no idea, but what we do know is that Love Is Blind is the virus and we've reached the puzzle portion of our boredom. Support the patreon; Andy gets a PS4 when we reach a grand!
Also tonight we're watching Bird Box on Netflix Party at 7pm pt. Link to join will be in both our twitters and on the patreon page. Mazel Tov.
Today we talk global economic collapse, anal, and how Andy plans to trick a group of marauders into a hatchet fight. Stay at home, wash your hands, and don't lick your lover's eyeballs. For exclusive content, discounted merch, and more, support the patreon:
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Welp, it's been five days and Andy proposed. He fashioned a 1920's ring out of scrap metal, diamonds and a big ol' ruby he found in the yard while digging a hole to hide the quiet box. The baby is fine and will still be returned to its mother once this all blows over. In the meantime, the baby is in the yard hole, where the engagement ring materials were found. Turns out we're gonna have to guard a lot more than a lemon tree if anybody steps foot in our yard, which we own, according to our sublease agreement.
Hey guys, today is Rosebud's Bday. She hates birthdays and made us record the episode last night so she could pout all day today. We talk about the broadening coronavirus and quarantine, and more planning for the apocalypse. Wish Rosie a Happy Bday on the internet @rosebudbaker
if you want a gift idea, there's alway...
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It's Day 3 and the sight of our naked bodies disgust us now. We have to stop eating all the supplies! Snacks, toilet paper, batteries.... nothing is safe from our fear-stricken hunger. Andy is terrified of what's happened in Italy (they've run out of pasta!) and Rosebud OD's on melatonin.
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Nothing has happened, and the cracks in the facade are beginning to show. Rosebud fantasizes about leaving with a mysterious one inch taller man, and we talk about the film Contagion.
Well we're quarantined, so what else can we do, but start a podcast. Rosebud and I talk about day one of avoiding Coronavirus, and our contingency plan, or lack thereof one.
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