Faith Matters

Latest Episodes:

229. The Soloists - A Conversation with Mallory Everton & Diana Brown Aug 17, 2024

Show notes

Today, we’re thrilled to welcome Mallory Everton–a comedian, actor, and writer–and Diana Brown–the new Associate Director for Faith Matters, to the podcast. We’re diving into a conversation that’s often overlooked but so important—being single in the church. Diana and Mallory are launching a new podcast on the Faith Matters Podcast Network called The Soloists, where they’ll be talking about singleness and relationships, and what it's like trying to form families in today’s cultural and technological environment and we couldn’t be more excited to celebrate it with them.
In this episode, we explore why they’ve dedicated so much energy to this project. As they discuss, being single can be an isolating experience, especially in a culture that often views marriage as the ultimate milestone. Diana and Mallory share deeply personal stories about what it’s like to navigate a church community where singleness sometimes feels like a problem to be solved rather than a valid and whole way of being, and season or situation of life that all of us, no matter our marital status, can authentically relate to in some way.
They also challenge us to rethink our assumptions about singleness. They point out that being single isn’t just a transitory state—it’s a real and meaningful part of life for so many people; more than half of the adult members of the church, in fact, according to Elder Gong in '21. We discuss how important it is to move beyond the idea that marriage is the only path to fulfillment and how embracing singleness can lead to profound spiritual growth.
Diana and Mallory bring a wealth of wisdom to this conversation, and their insights will resonate with anyone who’s felt the pressure to fit into a specific life narrative. This episode is a powerful reminder that each of us is on a unique journey, and that there’s deep value in every stage of life, whether single, married, or somewhere in between.
Also, we are excited to be hosting Mallory and Diana at Restore this year! They’ll be speaking about the unique spiritual gifts that singles bring to the body of Christ. Restore will be held September 5-7 at the Mt. America Expo Center in Sandy, Utah and this year for the first time, we'll also be offering a streaming option if you won’t be able to attend in person and would like to purchase a ticket to attend virtually. You can buy your tickets at faithmatters.org/restore.
We hope this conversation encourages you to see singleness—and all life paths—with fresh eyes. And with that, we’ll jump right into our discussion with Diana and Mallory.

The Christmas issue of Wayfare is now available to preorder! Order your copies (bulk discounts are available—it's the perfect gift!) or become a paid Wayfare subscriber by October 31 to receive them by the first Sunday of Advent, and get a look inside the issue here!

228. Duty vs. Desire in Marriage - A Conversation with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Aug 10, 2024

Show notes

This week, we're thrilled to welcome back Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a renowned therapist specializing in relationship and sexuality counseling within the Latter-day Saint community. We’re super excited that Jennifer has a new book coming out this year that Faith Matters is publishing, and she’ll also be joining us in person soon for Restore.
In our conversation, we explore some of the early themes from Jennifer’s book, including the shift many couples experience from passion to duty in marriage. Jennifer shares some powerful stories and experiences based on what she’s seen in her work with couples, including how common cultural narratives among religious people can diminish what Jennifer calls the "magnetic energy of Eros" in relationships.
We dive into the concept of Eros as a divine longing for deeper connection, not just sexual, but spiritual and personal. This Eros energy, for Jennifer is the the energy of adventure, attraction, agency, and feeling fully alive. To rekindle that Eros energy in lives and relationships, Jennifer emphasizes the importance of honest communication, vulnerability, and personal integrity. She offers profound insights on how to face our fears and embrace the uncertainties of life and love.
This conversation is packed with practical advice and fresh perspectives that can help anyone deepen their relationships and personal growth. We’re incredibly grateful for Jennifer's wisdom and are really looking forward to her book's release. Now, let's jump into our conversation with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.

227. The Counter-culture of Commitment - A Conversation with Pete Davis Aug 03, 2024

Show notes

This week, we are re-releasing a conversation with Pete Davis. In 2018, Pete Davis was graduating from Harvard Law School and was chosen to give a commencement address that ended up going unexpectedly viral, having now been viewed over 30 million times.
The thesis of Pete’s speech was that our culture has entered what he calls “infinite browsing mode”—with so many options to choose from, and devices that present those options to us literally endlessly—we can become paralyzed by choice and inadvertently live out our lives without ever dedicating ourselves to something. And this lack of choosing and committing over the long haul has real consequences, Pete argues — it prevents us from finding the meaning and impact that we’re longing for.
Pete’s ideas eventually crystallized into a really incredible book—Dedicated—which explores these ideas in depth. We loved this book and found it to be so relevant to conversations we seem to always be having. In this conversation, we were able to talk with Pete about many of the reasons we might fear committing to something, including the fear of missing out, the fear of regret, and the fear of association with something with which our values aren’t totally aligned. But, Pete argues, commitment in the face of those fears is what leads us to long-term purpose and impact, real community, and connection with something truly transcendent.
We can’t emphasize enough how important and relevant we found this book, and how infectious we found Pete’s enthusiasm for these deeply resonant ideas. We hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did. And, we have exciting news to share– Pete Davis will be coming to Utah as one of our featured speakers at Restore! So go to faithmatters/org/restore for tickets and we’ll see you on September 5-7 at Mountain America Expo in Sandy, Utah.

Fully Alive - A Conversation with Elizabeth Oldfield Jul 28, 2024

Show notes

Today, we’re sharing a beautiful conversation between writer and thinker Elizabeth Oldfield and Zachary Davis. Elizabeth is the author of Fully Alive: Tending to the Soul in Turbulent Times and host of the podcast, “Sacred”.

Elizabeth grew up in a faintly Christian home that rarely if ever spoke of God; But as a young teen she had a powerful and unmistakable answer to prayer that made her a believer. She then turned to the Bible to learn more about her newfound christian faith and was blindsided by ideas in the text that she found troubling.

So in this conversation, Elizabeth talks about her complex faith- how she learned to lean into the messy paradoxes of life since then. She explores the concept of sin and the 7 deadly sins. She asks, what can envy teach us about having a stable sense of self especially in this age of social media? And isn't acedia or sloth, the 8th deadly sin, really about attention? How can we continually recall our attention to the things we hope will shape our souls?

She points out that at the end of the day, the 7 deadly sins aren't a legalistic list of ways to be in debt to go, but a loving guide for how to be in right relationship with the people around us, and should always be inseparably connected to ideas like compassion, forgiveness, and restoration.

We hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did. And, we have exciting news to share– Elizabeth Oldfied will be coming to Utah as one of our featured speakers at Restore! So go to faithmatters/org/restore for tickets and we’ll see you on September 5-7 at Mountain America Expo in Sandy, Utah. And with that, we’ll jump right in.

Life after Doom - A Conversation with Brian McLaren Jul 20, 2024

Show notes

This week, we're bringing you a special episode with Brian Mclaren on his new book, Life after Doom: Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart. Though we recorded this conversation weeks ago, it feels especially timely now in light of the horrific violence we witnessed this last weekend in the attempt on former President Trump's life, the deadly heat waves and hurricanes happening across the world, and so much else.

This book is an empowering call to action and an invitation to do the kind of inner work that makes us brave in the face of real fear and uncertainty. Brian asks, "What if it doesn't turn out? How will we face the future if things get worse instead of better?" He offers gentle encouragement to reach deeper into ourselves and find a stronger, more resilient type of hope: the kind that, as Václav Havel said, “is not the certainty that things will turn out as we wish, [but] is the conviction that some things are worth doing, no matter how they turn out.”

Brian's insights challenged us to rethink our understanding of end-times, to explore what is worth doing no matter what, and to see the concept of chosenness not as a privilege for a select few, but as a call to loving service for all.

For those of you who have heard Brian before, you already know you're in for a treat. For those who haven't, Brian is a former pastor turned author and public theologian. He's a truly special teacher and someone who's affected the way we live in lasting ways. He seems to see the world and everything in it through the eyes of a "mystic"—in its real interconnectedness and deep spiritual beauty. We're incredibly grateful he came back on the show, and you can find out more about Brian on his website at brianmclaren.net.

We think this episode offers real wisdom and a fresh perspective on how we can navigate these challenging times with faith, hope, and love. And with that, we'll jump right into our conversation with Brian McLaren.

225. The Call to be in the World - A Conversation with Astrid Tuminez Jul 13, 2024

Show notes

Today, we're resharing an interview we loved with Astrid Tuminez, who we're excited to be hosting as a speaker at Restore this year. Astrid is the President of Utah Valley University and an absolute delight to talk with and listen to. She’s full of stories, humor, and deep insights that made our time with her pass way too quickly.

This interview actually came about because Astrid wrote an essay in Melissa Inouye and Kate Holbrook’s new book Every Needful Thing. We loved Astrid’s essay and knew we wanted to get to know her better.

Astrid has an absolutely fascinating and unique story. She grew up in the slums of the Philippines, but along with her siblings, was discovered to have an exceedingly bright intellect and was offered a free place at one of the most prestigious and expensive Catholic schools in the area. As a child, she was, religiously, a Catholic, but felt that she was always brimming with questions that were being hushed. When she eventually met the Latter-day Saint missionaries, it was a different experience — they gave her a new framework to think about the world, and weren’t afraid to at least try to answer her questions.

Astrid’s pursuit of education eventually took her to the United States, where she graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in international relations and Russian literature from Brigham Young University. She later earned a master's degree from Harvard University in Soviet Studies and a Ph.D. from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in political science. Before becoming President of UVU, Astrid spent many years in leadership in the corporate, non-profit, and academic worlds.

What we maybe loved most about Astrid was that her unique perspectives make the world of faith and intellect seem expansive, exciting, and adventurous — even full of mystery. She’s found spiritual insight and even practice well outside of Mormonism while simultaneously keeping that “fixed foot,” in the Restored Gospel. In a real way, she’s living Joseph Smith’s injunction to “receive truth, let it come from whence it may.”

We want to send Astrid a huge thanks for coming on the show, and we really think you’re going to love this one. And with that, we’ll jump right in.

224. Not Fearing Others' Faith Journeys - A Conversation with Valerie Hamaker Jul 06, 2024

Show notes

Today, we’re thrilled to welcome therapist and podcaster Valerie Hamaker.

In his book Falling Upward, Franciscan priest Richard Rohr uses the metaphor of a container to elaborate on what he calls “the two halves of life.” The first half of life, he says, is for building the structure of the container; the second is for filling it and sharing from it. This concept has been foundational for us in our faith journey over the last 10 years, and today with Valerie, we delved into how everyone’s faith evolves over time, the necessity of structure and identity in early faith development, and the importance of embracing complexity, depth, and paradox as we grow.

One of the tricky parts about faith evolution is that not everyone’s faith evolves in the same way; and because so many of us have built our lives on or around our faith, it can be hard when we see loved ones’ and family members’ beliefs diverge significantly from our own, in any direction. This is a real area of expertise for Valerie in her own practice, and we found her insights on managing complex relationships and spiritual growth super helpful—she helped us see that genuine curiosity can be crucial in navigating complex conversations around beliefs, and explained why we can, and should, let go of any belief that engenders fear.

Valerie is a licensed therapist specializing in marriage and couples work. She owns a private counseling practice in Kansas City, Missouri, and is the host of the Latter Day Struggles Podcast, where she helps Latter-Day Saints understand and navigate their spiritual growth.

This conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone experiencing or supporting others through faith transitions. We hope you find Valerie's insights as enlightening and encouraging as we did. And with that, we’ll jump right into this conversation with Valerie Hamaker.

Note: the research Valerie refers to in this interview was done by Liz Macdonald.

222. Freedom from the Burden of Judging - A Conversation with Michael Wilcox (Part 1) Jun 29, 2024

Show notes

This week, we're thrilled to welcome back Dr. Michael Wilcox to the podcast. Michael is an esteemed author and longtime Institute teacher, and his previous episodes, which we released in two parts as "God's Many Voices" in episodes 85 and 86, have been some of the most listened to in Faith Matters' history. It's been three years since we last had him on, and we're excited to dive into another meaningful conversation.

In this episode, Michael shares his profound insights on the topic of the marginalized, particularly focusing on the experience of the LGBTQ community. Michael's wisdom draws from his own life experiences, wisdom traditions he deeply loves, and great literature.

Michael also addresses the challenge of navigating differing beliefs and values, urging us to avoid calling down "fire from heaven" on those who worship on different mountaintops. He speaks about the importance of forgiveness, and what he calls the "Lazarus Law," reminding us that every individual has a name and a story, deserving of respect and compassion.

Throughout the conversation, Michael's anecdotes and reflections encouraged us to approach the marginalized with love, humility, and a genuine desire for understanding. We found Michael, as always, to be filled with transformative insights that we thought could really help us build more inclusive and compassionate communities.

We’re also releasing an additional conversation as a companion to this episode. In it, Brother Wilcox shares a really personal story that highlights some of these principles, and if you’d like to hear more from Brother Wilcox, it’s on the feed right now.

Thanks so much as always for listening, and with that, we’ll jump right in.

223. Freedom from the Burden of Judging - A Conversation with Michael Wilcox (Part 2) Jun 29, 2024

Show notes

This is part two of our conversation with Michael Wilcox, and if you haven’t heard part one yet, it helps set up some important context for this episode. This is really not an interview so much as a story Michael tells: the story of his father, who navigated life in the mid-20th century as a gay man and a Latter-day Saint.

This story delves into the messy and painful predicaments his family faced, when reality failed to fit the predictable ideal. It also offers a glimpse into the experience of an LGBTQ member of the church several decades ago, before we became accustomed to talking about it as a community. And we want to emphasize that we’re not sharing this story because of its outcome, and in fact, quite the opposite: we found in this story the beautiful insight that we can release ourselves completely from judging others and love without an agenda—and it’s the relationships free of judgment and agendas that become celestial in and of themselves.

We want to thank Michael for being incredibly honest and vulnerable here, and for coming on to share so generously with us again.

221. The Amen Effect - A Conversation with Rabbi Sharon Brous Jun 22, 2024

Show notes

This week, we are honored to share with you a conversation with Rabbi Sharon Brous, author of the The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Mend Our Broken Hearts and World. From the moment we started reading Sharon’s book, we knew that she had a special message, and that she would be an incredible guest. Sharon’s book is a beautiful blend of ancient Jewish wisdom, contemporary science, and deep personal experience that shows how humans throughout history have taken up the responsibility to sit with each other as sacred witnesses to life’s most vulnerable and most joyous moments.

Sharon makes the case that when we sit with each other in “celebration, sorrow, and solidarity,” we are connecting in ways that not only forge deep and lasting relationships, but contribute to a larger healing in our communities and in the world. One of the things we loved about Sharon’s book and the conversation with her was that she shared experience from her own life in which she’s succeeded here as well as where she’s failed. None of us do this perfectly, and so often we feel like we don’t even know how to—Sharon was wise and generous in giving herself and all of us grace for now always showing up for people the way we could have, but also practical advice that help us see how we can do this better.

Sharon’s speaking from the perspective of a Jewish Rabbi, but her work reminds us of our own sacred texts and our promises to be willing to “mourn with those that mourn.” We loved that Sharon explained that these principles of connection and solidarity really are universal, and we all get at them in our own languages and through our own rituals and traditions.

This episode cuts straight to the heart of what it feels like to be human; it was impossible for it not to get personal, since we all know grief, joy, and connection intimately. We absolutely loved talking with Sharon and consider this a special episode. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we did!

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