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    Kids & Family

    Faith and Family

    Faith and Family is a Christian family community that aims to provide Christian advice and promote Christian Values.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Living The Military Wife Life Feb 25, 2021
    Show notes

    As a military wife and mom of 2, Roxanne Matammu learns to deal with taking care of the household and while strengthening her marriage while her husband is deployed. Show/Hide Transcript Roxanne: So, I mean, we’ve gone through a lot of stuff. But, one of the hardest things that we’ve had to go through as a couple, and also for me as a mom, was um -Rob had deployed early October, and maybe just a few weeks later, we were surprised to find out that we were actually pregnant! But, unfortunately, the pregnancy didn’t last. We ended up losing the baby, Mariel Gutierrez: Parenting isn’t easy. It’s challenging and frustrating, but it’s also rewarding and inspiring. We just need a few reminders sometimes. Parents, dads, mamas, you’re not alone. Let’s do this parenting thing together. I’m Mariel Gutierrez… Jewell Buenavista: And I’m Jewell Buenavista. We are the tired but inspired moms, and you’re listening to the Faith and Family podcast. A Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values for every phase of your family life. Mariel: So, Jewell, the other day – I have to tell you just a quick story – I was busy, right? Going between meetings, and deadlines, and spreadsheets. And, of course, homeschooling… still! That I completely forgot to look up and cook dinner. Jewell: [Laughs] Mariel: And, unfortunately, it happens frequently. [Laughs] Jewell: Especially these days, right? Mariel: Exactly! Especially these days. I have no sense of time, it’s always dark, so I just keep going. But, you know, fortunately for me, my husband swoops in. By about 4:30, if he can see that I’m still, you know, in a meeting or doing something, I don’t even have to ask – he’ll cook, you know? He actually did that these past few days. Yesterday, what did he cook yesterday? Yesterday, he made clam chowder! Today, he made kalua pork! Jewell: Yum! Mariel: I know! You know? So, I’d totally be lost without him. I think it’s a good reason that God made parenting a two person job, you know – marriage, sharing the household stuff – a two person job between husband and wife! Jewell: [Laughs] Seriously, Mar! I can barely take a trip to Walmart by myself. I mean, it’s really sad. Mariel: I give credit to those that have to do it on their own. Like, I can’t imagine… So, Jewell, today, we have Roxanne Matammu, a mother of two sweet and energetic boys, who is also a military wife! Jewell: Mmm! Mariel: So, when Roxanne’s husband is deployed – his name is Robinson – he’s gone for months at a time, and she’s left to champion a home base. Jewell: Oh wow… Mariel: I know! And, you know, I’m only cleaning bathrooms like, sometimes? [Laughs] There’s a schedule for it, but I’ll also forget, you know? But, she’s doing everything! She’s doing the cleaning, cooking, home cooking – oh home cooking? Well, yes – home-schooling, biking, working, laundry… everything falls on her plate! Roxanne’s on with us now, and she’s going to talk about her experience as a military wife. Hi, Roxanne! Roxanne Matammu: Hi Mar! Hi Jewell! Mariel: Hi! I know it’s like, morning there, currently, in Japan, right? Roxanne: It is. It’s about… almost 10 o’clock. Mariel: Oh, nice. Roxanne: Yeah, it’s early in the day. Mariel: So, how’s your day going so far? 10 A.M. in Japan – I’m so jealous! Roxanne: Around this time, I mean, the boys are already at school, so, it’s kind of my “me” time. It’s nice and quiet inside the house. [Laughs] Mariel: Oh, niiiiice… Roxanne: It only lasts for a little bit, though. [Laughs] So I take advantage. Mariel: Right, right. Yes, absolutely! You deserve it! Tell us about your boys! What are they like? Roxanne: They’re very… they’re very… different! You know? One for example, Rylan, is my oldest, and he loves to talk to anybody. No one is a stranger to him, and he loves, loves being around people. As opposed to my youngest one, who is like the complete opposite. He’s very careful who he talks to. We used to joke around about how he won’t say hi to you unless, you know, you’re in his circle of people that he trusts. So, they are very completely opposite boys, but they… honestly they just, they have their moments! But they’re very, very sweet mama’s boys. Mariel: Ohhh! You’re so blessed then. [Laughs] So, I’m going to jump right into it, because me and Jewell were just talking about how we don’t think we could be, you know, military wives. But, as I understand, you and Robe were long distance before you got married, right? Roxanne: Yes, yes. He was early on in his military career, so I know already that if we were to get married, that was a lifestyle change that was going to happen – for me at least! You know, when you marry into the military, you already kind of have an idea of what their job entails, like, in general. When we say military, it’s like, they leave for a certain amount of time, but I don’t think you really know what you get into until you’re actually in it! It’s kind of like when you get married? Mariel: Oh, just like marriage, yeah. Roxanne: Yeah! Jewell: Roxanne, what’s the longest Rob has been deployed? Roxanne: Oh my goodness. Umm… I was actually thinking about this the other day, and I calculated this last deployment was the longest that he was on. It was slated to be for 6 months only, because it’s just part of the cycle that they go through with his job, but it ended up being almost 8 months. It was short of 8 months by like, 2 weeks, I think. Mariel and Jewell: Oh wow. Roxanne: Yeah, so it was unexpectedly extended. But then, the thing is, in the military, that’s… Mariel: Normal? Roxanne: … expected for things to be unexpectedly extended for whoever knows how long. There’s just – you never really can guarantee anything that the military says, because it changes constantly. We never know what’s going to happen. Jewell: You know, we have a lot of military wives listening to this podcast, and I’m sure they can relate to the frustrations, you know? Tell us about a time that Rob was deployed and it was difficult for you? Can you think of examples that you can share with us? Roxanne: Oh my gosh. There have been so many! Mariel: [Laughs] She’s like, which one? Roxanne: We’ve been through natural disasters without him, we’ve been through a tornado without him, we’ve been to a couple ER visits with just me and the boys, and Robs deployed, or he’s on what they call a TDY, which is also kind of like a shorter deployment. Let’s see… oh! I’ve even had our pipes burst in our house while he was gone. Mariel and Jewell: Nooo… Roxanne: So, I mean, we’ve gone through a lot of stuff. But, one of the hardest things that we’ve had to go through as a couple, and also for me as a mom, was um – this happened, actually, last year – and… it really, like, it really showed… I felt like it really showed that… Ok, I am a strong mom. I can get through stuff! But, last year, Rob had deployed early October, and maybe just a few weeks later, we were surprised to find out that we were actually pregnant! It was a surprise, definitely a big surprise to us, but it was something that we had been praying for for a long time, so we were happy with the surprise. But, unfortunately, the pregnancy didn’t last. We ended up losing the baby, and, mind you, Rob had already deployed. Once they deploy, there’s no way that they would be able to come home unless, you know, there was a death in the family, but when I say death in the family, I mean like, their parents, or the kids, or anything like that. But this wasn’t one that would really validate him to come home. And so, that was hard. Because it was the first time that it had happened to us, you know, and not something that we thought would ever happen to us… Mariel and Jewell: Yeah… Roxanne: But just going through the motions of… physically, going through the miscarriage alone, and without him as my support, and at the same time, having to put on a happy face, and a strong face in front of the boys was probably thee hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. Mariel and Jewell: Yeah… Roxanne: For Rob, it was hard for him, too, because he did want to come home, and help, and be there, but he just couldn’t, and it was almost like… ok, this is something I have to [do / go through] Jewell: Like, he felt helpless Roxanne: Yeah. Mariel: So, you know, going through situations like that – not just, you know, the calamities, the tornadoes, but even the moments when you want to lean on someone, and they physically just can’t be there – how does your faith help you, both, get through things together while you’re apart? Roxanne: Oh my gosh. That… I think that’s the only thing that kept us, you know, strong through… that situation, really, and any situation, because we… we both believe that, you know, God’s not going to give us anything that we can’t handle. And, as long as we trust God, that He’ll help us, that’s really what keeps us strong, you know? And we, as a family, set devotional prayers with the kids, and also, just with the both of us. I think it’s really important to share. You know, we’re praying, we recently started doing this thing where one person prays… Mariel: Right Roxanne: But each of us will say, oh, can you pray for this… for me? Or can you add this to the prayer? You know what I mean? Mariel: Yeah Roxanne: Because I want them to know [that] each of us have our own things that maybe we think is hard, that we need help with. And hearing it from somebody else in our family, they know that they’re not alone, and we all trust God. That God is going to be the One that is going to get us through it! And so, that’s something that we started doing. But just our faith, I mean, it’s really what keeps us strong, honestly. Through deployments, through anything. This military life, a lot of it [are things] that you cannot control, and so we have to leave everything up to God, you know? If we have to go through something hard, God [wants] us to see that for a reason. And, it’s funny, now that I think about it, that’s something Rob and I always say, like, well, there’s a reason for this, we just need to get through it and keep praying. I feel like we’ve said that, like, a million times! [Laughs] Because of all the things we had to go through! Everyone: [Laughs] Mariel: That’s amazing. So, this whole time, you guys don’t miss prayers? Your whole family? Even when he’s deployed? Roxanne: No. Mariel: Do you pray together? Roxanne: Yeah! Jewell: That is awesome. Roxanne: He purposely chooses a schedule like that, so that at the end of the day, when the boys are getting ready for bed, he’s also getting ready for bed, and so we have our family prayer together. Jewell: Awww, I love it! Roxanne: But, I mean, it’s not always possible, but that’s always what he wants to be able to do, because, you know, being away for that long, it messes with your routines and things. And so, try to do everything we can to keep the routine as is, even though he’s on the other side of the world. We just try to keep the boys in that same routine as much as possible. Jewell: Well, that’s conscious parenting right there. Mariel: Right! Yeah. What other tips do you have? [These] are actually good nuggets here. What other tips do you have for other military wives whose husbands are going to leave them for a bit just because of an assignment? Roxanne: I think the number one thing, you know, is to have your devotional prayer and keep it, you know? Another thing is to always have open communication. Letting them know even the smallest things. Sometimes, I’ll just text him and say oh, I’m eating flaming hot cheetos or something! [Laughs] And then it’s like, you know, just little things, like just keeping the communication open. They want to be a part of your daily life still, you know? Jewell: Yeah Mariel: Right Roxanne: They still want to know what’s going on. And even if it’s like, like I said, the littles things to the biggest things, they want to be a part of it. And, I think, that’s what keeps your family, and your marriage strong, as well. Mariel and Jewell: Those are great tips Jewell: I love it, love it! But you know, I mean… I watch you, Roxanne, you’re also on social media with a handle @bravebeautylife! Roxanne: [Laughs] Mariel: I love it! Jewell: And you spread so much positivity about going after your passion, being a conscious parent, and just an all around good Christian! I mean, how did “brave beauty” even come about?Roxanne: [Laughs] Every woman should feel brave enough to be themselves, and to… like, ok! This is kind of silly, but, it’s like… you know, sometimes [laughs] and it almost seems superficial! But I really believe, really, the way we look and feel really can affect the way we are the rest of the day, you know? Jewell: Oh yes! Mariel: Mhmm Roxanne: Putting on a red lipstick. Most of the time, women won’t put on a red lipstick because they’re worried that, oh that person thinks “oh, that’s too much” you know? Or “it doesn’t look good on her” or, you know, whatever. Those are the kind of things that we kind of tell ourselves, but really, they’re not true! And so, I want women to feel like, it’s ok to try those… that lipstick! Or, it’s ok to try that… um, outfit, or that hairstyle, or whatever. Mariel: Yeah Roxanne: It’s ok to be like, hey, I’m going to do it! I’m going to be brave, and I’m going to do it, and feel confident, and try it, you know… Mariel: I like that! Roxanne: It started out with that, and then I would tell stories of things that I’ve done that I feel like I hope… hopefully, if I share this story, then more women, or, you know, moms will say, “ok, if she’s a mom, if she can do it, I can do it, too!” You know? Just be brave, and do it beautifully, and feel beautiful doing it. That’s kind of the whole feel behind that. [Laughs] Mariel: I love it! Jewell: That’s right, mama! That’s it, I’m going to wear my red lipstick for my Zoom meeting tomorrow! Mariel: I know! And I saw her feed! She even had a blonde wig! It was so cute! Everyone: [Laughs] Roxanne: It’s funny, because those are things that I never would do, but I’m like, you know what? I can do this! Mariel: Yeah! Beautiful. I love it. You’re such an inspiration! I loved having you on today. I even saw your post today about the quick makeup, and then I did my makeup. [Laughs] Roxanne: Yay! Mariel: I know. I had no meetings today, but I was like, you know what… Roxanne: That makes such a difference, you know? It’s so little, but it makes a difference. Mariel: You go from no eyebrows, to eyebrows, and conquering the world, so… Everyone: [Laughs] Mariel: Yeah. So, you know. We wanted to thank you, because you know, it really is… you’re such an inspiration, you have such a positive outlook on things, um, and you know. So, thank you for being with us today, Roxanne. Hopefully, our listeners can learn a few things from this discussion. Jewell: And, you know, thank you so much! And I hope all of us can exude brave beauty! I love that! Mariel: Yeah Roxanne: Yes! Jewell: Thank you so much, I hope all of us can exude brave beauty as much as you do. I mean, did I even use that correctly? That’s it, you’re going to start seeing my hashtag: #bravebeauty. Everyone: [Laughs] Roxanne: [Laughs] I love it. Thank you so much for having me! It’s nice to have other adults, or, other moms to talk to during the day. [Laughs] Mariel: I love it. All right, well… Thank you, everyone, for listening to this episode of Faith and Family. If you enjoy listening to us talk, cry, laugh, build each other up, you can download more on Google Podcast, iHeartRadio, and Apple Podcast, under Faith and Family. Please, leave us a review, or just say hi! Take care and stay safe! The post Living The Military Wife Life appeared first on incmedia.org.

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Examples of Conscious Parenting Jan 28, 2021
    Show notes

    A working mom of two, Aliw Garcia Pablo shares how her fears and hopes keep her present for her children and allow her to be a conscious parent. Show/Hide Transcript Aliw Pablo: You know, I’m not gonna lie. There will be seasons where you just don’t feel connected. Bernie Rosquites: Right. Aliw Pablo: You know, but that’s like in any relationship, right? Bernie Rosquites: Yeah, you have to constantly work at it. You have to work at it. Aliw Pablo: Yeah, you’ll have your hills and valleys and I think it is a constant work in progress. Bernie Rosquites: Parenting isn’t easy. It’s challenging and frustrating, but it’s also rewarding and inspiring. We just need a few reminders. Parents, dads, mamas, you’re not alone. Let’s do this parenting thing together. I’m Bernie Rosquites. Jewell Buenavista: And I’m Jewell Buenavista. We are the tired but inspired moms. And you’re listening to the Faith and Family Podcast, a Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values for every phase of your family life. Have you ever had those days where you just feel like you’re not doing a good job as a mom? Bernie: I’m going to raise my hand on that one and that was yesterday. I really felt like I just really was not doing my best as a mom. Yesterday, it was just during my son’s distance learning. And I was losing my patience with Jojo, because I was trying to help him with his math. But I was getting so frustrated to the point where he just checked out. And I think he cried a little bit. So… Jewel: Aww… Bernie: And I felt bad. Because I’m like, *gasp* you know, and here I am, I’m supposed to be guiding him and trying to be patient and trying to like, you know, be there for him as he’s trying to learn. And here’s me. “What are you doing? You have to borrow and then carry over. Borrow. Borrow the one, carry the one.” I was doing all that and it just got to the point where he looked at me, and just from not just his eyes, but just his whole demeanor of his body, you can just tell he checked out, like his body just kind of sunk. And then he tried to do his homework, he wasn’t even holding the pencil right. He was barely holding it with two fingers. And I felt horrible. It’s over now, you know. Jewel: I feel you. Well, I have a million, I feel like I’m constantly having mom fails. Well for me, I think I purposely try to forget my mom fails, so I don’t feel guilty every day. Bernie: Right. Right. Jewel: So, but there was one that I do remember, I mean, this was when the kids were still back in school. There are many times that I get really busy, especially in the morning, that I don’t get to make my kids lunches for school. So I tell them, you know, pack your own lunches, you know, there’s stuff there, right. They know how to make stuff. You know so there was a day that I couldn’t pack his lunch, and then Hayden’s teacher randomly checked to see what he had for lunch. Bernie: Oh no… Jewel: So of course, what does he pack? All chips. All chips available in our pantry. That’s what he packs. So I definitely win mom of the year award for that one. Bernie: Aww… Jewel: So when things aren’t going the right way. I always look to other moms in my village. And I find myself doing that often to look for some help and comfort. And so I wanted to bring on one of the moms I look up to in life. Bernie: Right. Jewel: Aliw Garcia Pablo. I know she’s in your circle too Bernie, since we grew up in a very close knit church community. I have known her for I don’t know at least 15 years. She was actually a sponsor at my wedding. And our families always get together all the time. She’s a dedicated working mom, she’s a supervising producer at INC Media. And she just recently survived the teenage years. But she’s not out of the woods yet. She still has one teenager left. Bernie: I can definitely see why Aliw is one of your picks. You know, reason being, her and her family have gone through many, many challenges, and yet, she’s managed to stay focused. And how she’s done that I don’t know, you know, but you know, and the reason why I say this because her husband Jason, was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy in 2000. Then had a [heart] transplant in 2008. And then in 2016, Jason needed new kidneys and guess who was the donor? Guess y’all, everybody guess on my listeners out there, guess? Aliw. All right. Jewel: Amazing. Bernie: That’s amazing. I mean, I’m sure Jason needs a lot of things but he was like that kidney girl, I need that kidney. But, you know, seriously, that’s a lot of challenges. But through all that, she manages to stay afloat. How does she do it? How? Jewel: Well, this is a reason why she’s definitely one of my favorite moms to look up to. And guess what, let’s ask her right now she’s on with us. Aliw? Aliw Pablo: Hey moms! Hey Bernie! Hey Jewel! Bernie: Hi! Aliw: Hey Jewel! Jewel: Hi! Aliw: Oh my gosh, I feel like we’re just going. I go way back with the both of you and it’s just really fun. Bernie: Yes. Jewel: Yes. You know, as Bernie was saying all of that I can remember every single part of that journey and to be able to witness it and just how you, you’ve carried yourself. I mean, I admire you so much. So thanks for joining us. And one of those things that I learned from you was to ask my children, what are you thankful for? I mean, I remember when your son, Zay Zay, I think he was like four or five years old. And when we would visit you, he’d be like, I forgot what he called my husband, Harmony. Aliw: Uncle Harvey. He couldn’t say ━ Jewel: It was that, he was like, “Uncle Harvey, we’re thankful for?” And I just thought, I didn’t have kids at the time, and I just thought that was so awesome. That he at a young age, was constantly thinking about, you know, what are you thankful for? And that’s something that you’ve really instilled in your kids. It’s every day, and it’s so simple, but it’s made a tremendous impact on my children, because I do the same with my kids now on a daily basis. Aliw: You know, that’s why we started the whole, “What are you thankful for?” Because at that time, you know, we wanted them to focus, really make the effort to focus on finding the good in the everyday. You know, having gone through all of the medical issues we’ve gone through with their dad being sick, and all those years of lots of prayers and lots of begging God on our knees, begging for mercy, begging for miracles. You know, Jason and I are both thankful because we believe that that really set up a great foundation for their faith, a great foundation of who God is in their life. Jewel: You’re definitely one of the moms I look up to, you’re one of my favorites. But I know things aren’t perfect. You must have some parenting fails too, right? Please share some of them. Aliw: Yes. Oh my goodness. How long is this podcast? I think Alison must have been, gosh, she was a pre-teen, so maybe 11, 12 [years old]. We were at Old Navy. And, you know, she was always a healthy girl. So I remember we were trying to look for jeans, because it was before the start of the year for school. And we couldn’t find a pair that fit. Just going one size up, wasn’t cutting it anymore. You know? Jewel: Right. Aliw: And I kept saying, “Okay, what about this? These are stretchy jeans. These are…” You know, I just kept forcing, forcing. And she just says, “I don’t want to try on any more clothes mom. Can we just go home?” Jewel: Awww… Bernie: Aww, my gosh… Aliw: “Can we just go home?” And I said, “Are you sure?” But you know, I was still trying. And she was crying. She was just in tears. And then we left the store. And we went home and we never talked about it. I didn’t know what to say. Bernie: Right. Jewel: I want to cry just thinking of her! Aliw: I told you this was an epic fail! She was now 16,17 [years old] you know, and this was years later. I remember her telling me about it. And she’s crying and we’re standing in the family room. And I started crying. And I said “I’m so sorry. I never talked to you about that. I’m sorry about how I reacted. I’m sorry, I didn’t comfort you. I’m sorry. I didn’t do the right thing.” And I didn’t know how. Bernie: Right. Aliw: And these are the types of things you know, I think as a mother, you don’t have manuals for. You know, you can learn how to change a diaper. You can learn what to do when they’re sick and all of that, but this kind of stuff man, you are unprepared. And she actually wrote a blog about it, you know for incmedia.org but we’ve talked about it since. The blog is titled “The Load I Carry,” I think but you know, that is one of those, I have many, but that was one of those moments where that is not a proud mommy moment for me. So now she’s 20 [years old]. Okay. Now she’s 20 and I really believe in ━ you can still make up for mistakes. Bernie: That’s true. Aliw: And I tell my kids this all the time. Your mistakes don’t define you. Jewel: Absolutely. Bernie: But you know, that’s amazing. And you’re a minister’s daughter, as a minister’s daughter, what advice has your dad, Brother Ruben Garcia, who I will have to say, I will say this. About your dad. My parents called on your dad, when I was dating somebody and we were together ━ Aliw: No way! Bernie: Wait, yeah, he came to the house girl. My parents called on him because this person I was dating. I was dating him for I think, almost two years. And you know, marriage was like, I could see it. Jewel: Right there. Bernie: Right there. And it did not happen. And it ended not very well, and my parents didn’t know how to handle. So one night, I didn’t even know he was coming and your father, I just remember the love and care and sincerity in his words, you know, as he helped comfort me because my parents were like, I don’t know what to ― she’s not eating. So you know, and then he sits down next to me and my parents kind of like kind of disappeared into the kitchen, you know. And then he opened up the Bible, and he just said these words, and after that I’m like, I’m cool. I’m good. I’m ready to move on. And I’ll never forget that day. Jewel: Wow, I never knew that! Bernie: Yeah, that meant a lot to me. You know, because at that time, my parents didn’t know what to say or what to do, you know. But your dad, what advice has your dad given you to become a good Christian mom? Aliw: So one of the things is always said to me ― You know, I started working for the Church before I had kids, and I, you know, at that time, we were, you know, INC Media, there was only like, a handful of us. So I felt like we were starting, I always say like, I was raising two sets of kids, you know, my kids, and then the office. And, you know, we were starting and so, you know, there were really some challenging times. But there was one thing he said to me that stuck with me, he said, you know, as a producer, you know, “Whatever you do. Anyone can do that, anyone can do your job. But your children, they only have one mother.” So that stuck with me. And that no matter how busy I was, no matter if I was traveling somewhere, I always had to figure out, it was up to me, had to figure out a way to still spend quality time or let my kids know that they mattered. And one of the things that, you know, he always told me too, is don’t make God your babysitter. And you know what I mean by this, I think what he meant by it is that, you know, we can pray that God takes care of our children, we can pray that God help us in raising them to do the right thing. But we as parents, we also have to put in the work. We have to couple our prayer always with action, with works. Jewel: You know, I want to go back to what you said earlier Aliw. That someone else can do your job, but no one else can be a mom. You know, one thing that I really admire about you, because it doesn’t mean that you stop working, right? Because we there’s a lot of moms that need to work to help, you know, their spouse in the family affairs. But why I admire you, is what I recognize. And I think what I learned from you is the importance of conscious parenting. You know, so in the times that what I’m hearing is, even though you get home maybe late at times as tired as you are, you’ll you’ll take the time to do something very intentional and it counts. You know, so how do you practice conscious parenting? I know some parents think that, okay, it’s family hour, let’s watch some TV and then ask a few questions. And then sometimes they think, that’s it. I put my time in. Bernie: Yes girl. Jewel: You know, you’re constantly asking your kids questions, sometimes even hard questions. Aliw: Yeah! Which they’re like, “Mom, come on. Can we just get Taco Bell?” I mean, yeah, it’s true. It’s like, “Why do you keep asking such deep questions?” Yeah. You know, I want to get in their heads. Jewel: Yes. Bernie: Yeah. Aliw: And I always tell them, I said, “My biggest fear one, one of my biggest fears is that, realizing that I never knew who you guys were to begin with.” Because they’re one way, at home. Bernie: And another, I’m scared. Jewel: And that happens, you know, just you saying that. Yeah, I can ― I know of people, and it’s a scary thought. Aliw: Yeah. And so that is my biggest fear. And so I want to know what’s in their heads and I, whether it’s good thoughts, bad thoughts, I want to know. So these fears, these apprehensions, it really pushes us to work harder, it pushes us to be more aware and more conscious, it pushes us to have these conversations with them, to ask them questions. And it pushes us to pray harder, and to work harder, so that they can grow up to be, you know, good Christians, and who are always thinking about not just of themselves, but you know, everything they do having purpose and the purpose always being how to serve God better, and how to make God happy. It is a constant work in progress. But I think, you know, car rides are one of the ― well now we don’t really go out much anymore. But you know, I think finding those pockets of being together, uninterrupted, not watching TV or whatever, but finding ways to connect. Bernie: Yeah, it is. Jewel: And communicate. Aliw: And communicate and just, you know, like right now, me and Alison, we’re really into KDramas. So that’s our Korean dramas, you know, that’s our jam right now. That’s how we’re connecting. And I think as our kids get older, we just have to keep finding the different ways. And you know, I’m not gonna lie, there will be seasons where you just don’t feel connected. Bernie Rosquites: Right. Aliw Pablo: You know, but that’s like in any relationship, right? Bernie Rosquites: Yeah, you have to constantly work at it. You have to work at it. Aliw Pablo: Yeah, you’ll have your hills and valleys. And I think, you know, when they’re children, when they’re kids, it’s easier because they will tell you, like they have no sensor in their heads, right? They will tell you everything they’re thinking and feeling. And you’re like, “Can you just please be quiet for two minutes,” right? Because they’re just constantly telling you their thoughts. And then you get to a phase where they’re like, not saying anything. Jewel: Oh!… Bernie: I think about that all the time, you know, because you know, when my son, he talks a lot, he tells stories, you know, and all that. And there are times I’m just like, “Just for two seconds,” but then I remind myself, that there’s going to be one day, where, you know, I don’t really feel like talking to moms, you know, I don’t feel like telling her my feelings. Because for my son and I, like where we find our moments is, you know, we walk my neighborhood, we walk, and, and it’s uninterrupted, like you said, either car, like, those little things, and we walk. And while we’re walking, you know, that’s where, you know, just, we feel comfortable. And he just tells me, and he lets me know, and he lets me know all his feelings. And he always starts off with, “Mom, you know, I know, I’m not supposed to say this, or I know I’m not supposed to think this,” And I was tellin…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    God Blessed Me with a Baby at an Older Age Dec 17, 2020
    Show notes

    At 35 years old, Macy Padilla was considered a geriatric pregnancy. She experienced complications but trusted in God’s timing. God blessed her with a baby.

    Show/Hide Transcript

    Jewell Buenavista: I can’t imagine the thoughts that went through your mind. I mean, what got you through it?

    Macy Padilla: We would just ask, you know, “Just allow us to accept whatever’s going to happen.” You know, “Just allow us to be strong as a family.”

    [SHOW OPENS]

    Bernie Rosquites: Parenting isn’t easy. It’s challenging and frustrating, but it’s also rewarding and inspiring. We just need a few reminders. Parents, dads, mamas, you’re not alone. Let’s do this parenting thing together. I’m Bernie Rosquites.

    Jewel Buenavista: And I’m Jewel Buenavista. We are the Tired, but inspired, Moms, and you’re listening to the Faith and Family Podcast; a Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values for every phase of your family life.

    Bernie: Ok, so, you know when I think of the word “geriatric”, I’m putting my fingers up like I’m doing air quotes, I think grandma and grandpa. But when you put geriatric and pregnancy together, it really just means you’re over 35 and older, and at 35 you’re an old woman. Women are still young and thriving, but so many people think it’s not an appropriate age for pregnancy.

    Jewell: But is 35 really old? Come on! I mean, I see women in their mid-thirties conquering their careers, building relationships and living their best lives, but studies reveal that women who get pregnant at 35 are at risk for complications.

    Bernie: See, you know, that’s the thing. For me, I actually got pregnant at the age of 40, and the doctors told me because of my age there (are) possibilities there could be complications. But you know honestly, my doctor, she didn’t make it sound too scary. She was like, “Okay, just so you know, your age, you may/may not have some complications, but I’m just letting you know.” Because the woman before me, at my appointment, the patient before me I think she was 50 years plus. She was older than me and she was having twins. So when she told me that, I’m like, “I’m going to be good, I’m going to be okay.” But with lots of prayers we had a healthy baby boy who is now a fine, fine young man, you know, like when he’s asleep. I’m kidding. He’s awesome.

    So, it can be done. I’m proof, and so is our guest. Macy Padilla was considered a geriatric pregnancy. She and her husband, Marcus, tried to have a baby 3 years after they got married. Everything was going fine until 31 weeks into the pregnancy. Doctors found her blood pressure was 161 over 105, and got admitted immediately due to preeclampsia.

    Jewel: Preeclampsia affects 5 to 8% of all pregnancies and is considered life threatening, unfortunately, for both mom and baby.

    Bernie: But, thankfully, Macy’s story isn’t a story filled with suspense or tragedy. She’s on with us to share how prayer, a village, and God can help get anyone through pregnancy complications.

    Macy’s on with us right now. Hi, Macy!

    Macy Padilla: Hello! Hi, moms!

    Bernie: Hello!

    Jewel: Hello!Hi, Macy! Thank you so much for being on with us today. You know, when I think about you, Macy, when you were 35, I mean, I saw you as healthy, you’re beautiful, you’re happy, you’re doing so many good things at work and for the Church Of Christ. Yet, I can’t believe you were labeled as a geriatric pregnancy. I mean, how did that make you feel? I mean, in my eyes 35, girl, is still young.

    Bernie: Is very young.


    Macy: You’re telling me! I mean, I still listen to BTS (a Korean boy band). I honestly, I was like, okay, well I’m getting married a little later. I’m starting a little later in life, but I feel great, I’m working out. And then you know, just as Bernie said, you know, we’ve been trying, and three years after, we got pregnant. And I was right on the cusp of 34 entering 35.

    And, because my sister she’s like an OB (obstetrics) nurse and she was like, “Well, you know you’re geriatric.”And I’m like, “No, geriatric is like 70.” Yeah, I’m like, “That’s not.” And she was like, “Well you know, just be careful”, and then when I went to my first OB appointment, they kind of glazed over it. Just like what Bernie said, they didn’t really target me as somebody that was going to be high-risk. But they were like, “Oh, by the way, this is just something that might happen.”

    So, when we found out that we were pregnant, you know, the very first thing that we did is we went to the chapel, and we would regularly have devotional prayers at the chapel just to entrust our pregnancy to God. I tried to eat healthy. For the most part I had a lot of different cravings, like lemonade and spicy chicken sandwiches. I think I tried every single spicy chicken sandwich from every fast food menu and, you know, it was very different for me.


    But I did try to sneak in the 30 minutes of cardio. I did everything that they told me. And I went to a routine doctor’s appointment and the doctor was just like, “Did you know that you gained 20 pounds since your last appointment, 4 weeks ago?” And for me, I was like, “Oh, well I ate a lot in Hawaii. Hahahaha.” And she was more concerned and like, “No, that’s not normal. Four weeks? That’s not normal.” You know, we had a quick prayer while she was gone and then she came back and she said, “I’m going to have to admit you to the hospital”


    I had a lot of guilt already. I was like, “Should I have done something different? Did I cause this? Did we…were we careless about things?” We told our minister right away, we told the office right away like, “Hey, I’m getting admitted.” We got anointed immediately and then when they told me that I actually had to stay for three weeks, I think that’s when it sunk in that….

    Bernie: Yeah, get comfortable, girl, because you’re not leaving like in 15 minutes.


    Jewel: You went from thinking, “I’m going to be here for 30 minutes for a check up” and then you were admitted for who knows how long you were going to be admitted for. I mean, I can’t imagine the thoughts that went through your mind. I mean, what got you through it, and what were your prayers like?

    Macy: Literally, even before they would come in because I would get routine blood pressure checks, I would have my own prayer. But me and Marcus would pray together at the same time every day, and we would just ask, you know, “Just allow us to accept whatever’s going to happen.” You know, “Just allow us to be strong as a family.” And I’m so thankful for the deacons and for the deaconesses especially, because they huddled together and they had a schedule every day to visit me for 3 weeks without fail.

    Bernie: For anyone that’s listening, deaconesses are married women who are officers of the Church Of Christ, and they are there to give us advice and pray with us.

    Jewel: Macy also mentions being anointed with oil. Anointing of oil is important for us members of the Church Of Christ, because it’s advised from the Bible that when we are sick we call on the elders who are the officers of the Church to pray for us and anoint us with oil.

    Macy: Mid-prayer, the doctor would come in and he would pray with us, and then he would just stop and they would be in the room when they checked my blood pressure, and I could see them praying with me—And it was just so beautiful. They said, “We just need to get you to 34 weeks. That’s the safest time.”


    Berie: Okay.

    Macy: So actually our prayers started to shift, like, just to get me to that finish line.

    Bernie: Yes.

    Macy: They were like, “We can deliver you soon, but 34 weeks is where we need to be.” So if we would get there, that’s what we wanted, and then that’s what we shifted for, like, “Bless our baby, make sure she’s healthy above all, but also help me to be able to not stress out as much as possible.” You know, like leave the anxieties to God, take away our anxieties.

    Bernie: Absolutely.

    Macy: So 34 weeks was the target but, because I could not stabilize on the blood pressure count, they actually tried to induce me 4 days before. So they were like, “We have to do this now.” And I’m like, “Okay, let’s go.” If this is what’s supposed to happen, this is what’s going to happen. So I got into a delivery room and they said, “We’re going to try to do this naturally. That’s our goal and that’s the plan.” So I was worried because I was like, “We need to get to 34. This is early. What if her organs are not developed?”

    And they tried everything to induce me, and I was literally poked, prodded, shoved, all of these things—and nothing was working. And on Friday, midnight, they were like, “Okay, she’s starting to distress, we’re losing a heart rate. We need to go into emergency c-section.” So when they said that, it turned exactly onto that Saturday. So she was born on exactly 34 weeks, despite them trying to force God’s will, and that’s how I always thought. I was like, “See, you know, He made it happen.”

    They did an emergency c-section on me and I didn’t even get to hold her. They cut her out of me, I was so groggy, I heard her cry and then I was like, “Is she okay? Is she okay?” That’s all I was wondering about. And they let me touch her hand, and that’s it. And they pushed her away and I was like, oh my gosh, just praying. I remember, “As long as she’s okay, like everything….”

    Bernie: Then everything is… once you hear that little cry-

    Macy: Exactly.

    Bernie: -you’re like, “Okay, okay.” After the birth, Madden was hooked up to feeding tubes and spent time in an incubator for several weeks. But baby Madden made a full recovery, and it’s been over a year now. Macy, what’s life like now?

    Macy: You know, you wouldn’t have expected that she was this tiny, little, preemie baby that was attached to feeding tubes for three weeks. She is like a spunky, sassy, little, independent, girl. Albeit she walked a little bit late, she actually at 15 months. And every mother was like, “Once she walks, there’s no turning back. So enjoy it, enjoy it.” And I was like praying for her to walk and all of a sudden now I’m like, “Please, just sit down. Please, like slow-”

    Bernie: Can you crawl a little bit more?

    Macy: –Yes! She loves running. She knows how to answer in prayers now.

    Bernie: Oh, the best.

    Macy: She’s so sweet. She will not let me hold her spoon, she will not let me hold her bottle, she wants to do everything on her own. Sometimes I think that she’s trying to correct me with her little baby talk and I’m like, “No, girl.” Her favorite song is Moon River and I’m like, “Are you 70? Like how old are you?” Yeah, she has this personality, and she tries to sing along with it.

    We’re so, so, so grateful to have this little, happy, bundle of joy that is quite fashionable I might say.

    Jewel: I’m picturing it all happening and I’m just feeling for you, you know, and I loved how you just continued to pray and hold on to what God can do for you. So Macy, let me ask you, I mean, “What is your advice for other women who are considering having a baby at an older age?”

    Macy: It’s so worth it, and I would say, “Just entrust everything to God.” I always say leave everything up to God, and do everything that you can within your own power to take care of yourself. And, you know, listen to medical (advice), but at the end of the day God knows what’s best for you—He has perfect timing. I would say not to let anyone be discouraged, and I know there are so many women out there who try, and try for years, and you know we’ve been there. And it just happens at the perfect time.

    Bernie: Yeah, I mean it took me 5 years. I thought it was going to be easy-peasy,-


    Jewel: Right.


    Bernie: -but you know, it took longer. But you know this whole story today, I mean this topic, it really is proof that God is truly—truly—so great. Thank you, Miss Macy, for sharing your story.

    Jewel: Yes, thank you so much for sharing. We know that someone out there is listening and probably needed a reminder that we will always need God in, literally, every phase of our lives—And He never fails.

    Bernie: That is so true.

    Macy: Thank you. I love you guys and I love Tired Moms.

    Jewel: Thanks Macy.

    Macy: It helped me get through a lot. Thank you, guys!


    Jewel: Thanks Macy!

    Bernie: So, everyone, thank you for listening to this episode of Faith and Family. If you enjoyed listening to us talk, laugh, cry, build each other up, you can download more on Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, and Apple Podcasts under Faith and Family. Please leave us a review or just say hi. Until then, take care and stay safe.

    [SHOW CLOSES]

    The post God Blessed Me with a Baby at an Older Age appeared first on incmedia.org.


    My Baby Is A Heart Warrior Nov 26, 2020
    Show notes

    At 18 weeks pregnant, a young couple learns their 2nd child would battle Congenital Heart Disease. They’ve learned to find blessings in God’s plan. Lois Paula Riturban: How are you? Isla Riturban: *baby babble* Lois Paula: With any kind of abnormality in pregnancies, the parents automatically––most especially, the moms––they question, “What did I do?” Emirick Haro: Exactly. Mariel Gutierrez: Yes. Yes. Lois Paula: But again, to just know that, “Okay, it’s okay because this is what God gave me and He chose us to carry this, He can carry it for us as well.” [Show Open] Mariel: Parenting isn’t easy. It’s challenging and frustrating, but it’s also rewarding and inspiring…we just need a few reminders. Hey parents, you’re not alone. Let’s do this parenting thing together. I’m Mariel Gutierrez. Emirick: And I’m Emirick Haro, we are the Tired BUT inspired moms and you’re listening to the Faith and Family podcast, a Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values for every phase of your family life. Mariel: Those first few swells of the heartbeat through a stethoscope; you wait 12 weeks for a confirmation after taking that pregnancy test, right? And ta-da! You’re pregnant. That confirmation can fill any parent––any mom––with excitement, fear, and maybe a few concerns. Emirick: I heard that sound three times in my life and there are no words to describe the emotions. Mariel: Three times, “You’re pregnant!” Three times? Emirick: Three times! Mariel: Right. You go through the motions and you hope––you’re just filled with all of these hopes, all at once, right? You’re imagining everything. And so is everyone else around you. They’re always hoping––or they’re saying things like, “Oh, I hope it’s a girl!”, “I hope it’s a boy!” And you, of course, have these dreams and hopes for the baby right away. At the same time, you’re immediately aware of all the things that can come up and can go wrong, right? Thanks Google, thanks WebMD. Emirick: Yup, I know what you mean. You totally start planning and dreaming. But ultimately, you just hope and pray that your baby comes out healthy and happy. Mariel: Right. So, what happens when your fears become warranted during pregnancy? What happens when you learn something isn’t “status quo” with your baby? How do you keep moving forward? Can life still be normal? Emirick: Joining us in our conversation today is Lois Paula Riturban. When she was 18 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child, Isla, she learned her baby girl would have to battle Congenital Heart Disease. A disease that would put Isla at risk in any stage of her life. The doctors prepared Lois and her husband for all the worst-case scenarios, and while it’s been challenging and heartbreaking they’re thankful for the silver linings, answered prayers, and life lessons. Mar: And she’s on with us right now, Hi Lois Paula. Lois Paula: Hi, Mar! Hello, Emirick! Thanks for having me! Emirick: Thanks for finding the time. I mean, you work full time from home, right? Lois Paula: Yes, that is correct. Emirick: And in the meantime, you’re helping your oldest son, Ryder, with school. Is he in distance learning right now? Lois Paula: He is! He’s in virtual kindergarten. So, we’re learning how to kindergarten from home. Emirick: And you’re caring for baby Isla while your husband, Glenn, is back to work at the office, right? Lois Paula: Yes, that’s correct. Glenn, thankfully, is approved to actually work remote––or from home––like many of us are these days, a few days of the week. So, it definitely helps my sanity as our five-year-old learns how to kindergarten, like I mentioned. Isla’s just as high-spirited––she’s almost a toddler, so she’s kind of getting into that zone. My sister actually calls her a sour patch because she can be really super sweet on the inside but definitely a little sour sometimes, a little sassy. Some people call it spicy, whatever you want to call it––she’s a fighter. Emirick: Why do you think Isla’s such a feisty little girl? Lois Paula: Well, just as mentioned earlier, when I was 18 weeks pregnant, my husband and I were told that our baby girl has Congenital Heart Disease. Even as a fetus, she fought just to grow. We were told to prepare for a long road ahead. Every heart defect––so, just as a simple background for Congenital Heart Disease, or heart defects––every heart’s different; every defect’s different; every person or child or baby’s different, so she could need one surgery, is what we were told. We also were told she could need three or that she could need a heart transplant later on. So, we were told that surgery and medication could help but there really is no cure; that fixes would be there but they would only just help prolong the function of her heart. So, there were definitely uncertainties, to say the least, but they knew for sure that she would need operations. When? We were just told, “Okay, well we’ll see.” Mariel & Emirick: Wow. Lois Paula: So, of course, all this waiting and anticipation––when you’re pregnant, it’s just a bunch of waiting, because you go through this nesting period being pregnant, you go through, “Okay, I’m going to pick a name. We’re going to do this, we’re going to do that, prepare our house.” And then, you could just kind of wait. The first thing that we did after learning––after sitting down with the doctor––right after leaving the hospital, we went straight to the chapel and we prayed. That was the only thing that we knew––we didn’t know anything else––but we knew that we needed to go to the chapel to talk to God and to seek guidance from the ministers. So, that in itself, was like, “Okay, day 1: let’s get through this.” And then, from there, of course we were told all this guidance from the physicians, we were introduced to all of these communities of heart moms and heart parents and Congenital Heart Disease this and that. There’s a rabbit hole of research that anyone can go through but there were also inspiring stories of conquering and overcoming it. And above all, there was guidance from our spiritual leaders, telling us to trust. And that, in itself––that was, of course, the biggest thing that we could lean on. Mariel: What were your prayers like leading up to the birth? Lois Paula: Oh, man…our prayers were simple. Whatever the outcome was, we just prayed that we’d have peace in our hearts to understand whatever it is that we needed to do for the situation. And peace in our hearts, clarity of our mind, and just the strength to move forward. And really, to just love God even harder, no matter what our everyday life would become because we had no clue but we knew, at the end of the day, we needed to love God above all, regardless of what we were given or what was taken from us. Mariel: You know, that’s like a really brave prayer, to be okay with the outcome; to have peace with whatever God decides. It’s a beautiful prayer. It sounds simple but I bet it took a lot of courage to get there. Emirick: So, I’m going to ask you now about the day she was born. Okay? I’m curious because as we’re following this story––so, you’re told at 18 months that––18 months? Sorry. 18 weeks! Mariel: What is she? An elephant? Lois Paula: Can you imagine being pregnant for 18 months? Emirick: No. No, no, no, no. So, at 18 weeks, you’re told that there’s going to be an issue and that it’s going to be a life-long battle. There might not be a cure––or there is no cure, they’re telling you that and all that. So, I’m just curious, what happened the day she was born? Lois Paula: Different from normal pregnancies, instead of just one or two physicians being in there, there was a team of about 20 in there. Mariel & Emirick: Oh, wow. Lois Paula: It was awkward but they were ready. The hospital staff were ready with the NICU team, the specialty team, the cardiac team––they were all there, supporting this birth and this moment, which was very humbling. And so, she was born––thank God––on June 11th. And within minutes of her being born, of course, they had to just really quickly take her to the side table, do some self checks. But they wrapped her up and after that moment, what is it that you remember, guys? After they kind of clean the baby up, they give them back to you, right? Mariel & Emirick: Yeah. Skin to skin. Lois Paula: The moment––yeah––that every mom dreams of; every parent dreams of. They had her bundled up and they leaned over to say, “I just wanted to show you your daughter but we have to take her away now.” She was blue, so her face––all we saw, of course, was her face––but her face was blue because she wasn’t receiving enough oxygen. That’s what happens when the heart isn’t functioning properly. It cannot pump––it’s not strong enough to pump blood throughout your entire body, to go to the lungs and kind of be received by the entire body. So, she was turning blue so I was like, “Thank you so much. Hi, baby! Okay, go ahead! Take her, take her, take her! Go ahead, do what you need to do! Save her!” Mariel: “Save her life!” Lois Paula: Then, of course, we just said our silent prayers really quick. And then, that was that and then, we kind of just waited. She was with the NICU staff and days after that, her breathing function, her oxygen saturation, started slowly going down. And then, on her 15th day of life, she received her first open-heart surgery. If you think about how large a heart is, if you guys take out your thumb and you look at your fingernail, a baby’s heart is smaller than that. Mariel & Emirick: Wow! Lois Paula: It’s the size of a walnut, supposedly. So they operate on that tiny little thing, so we were like, “Okay…” Then, the time came, they said, “Okay. Would you like to walk with us?” Like, “Okay…where are we going?” And so, they wheeled her down the hall and we followed right behind the physicians. We wheeled around a few corners and of course, our bodies are trembling. We were holding each other’s hands tightly and we were praying. And then, we stood there as they wheeled her off and the door swung closed and I can’t…that moment of surrender…just…I just…I collapsed in the hallway, just not knowing what the next hour or so would look like. We were told the surgery would be seven hours. That’s just one case. In other cases, it could be longer or shorter. Emirick: Were the doctors positive? Were they always like, “Everything’s going to be okay,” or––? Lois Paula: They were positive that she would have some kind of surgery. What they were not positive on was what type of surgery and what the outcome would be. So, we were told to prepare for two scenarios. One scenario being she would have what’s called an arterial switch and it would be this one procedure that she would be fixed and unless something happens down the line––patches are loosened, leaky valves, whatever the case may be––then she should be good to go. Second scenario was if things didn’t––the surgeon told us if things didn’t work out well in the operating room, they would have to go to a plan b, wherein they would find a temporary fix and would be, for sure, scheduling the next open heart surgery and possibly, one or two more after that. So, we’d be looking at a line of surgeries every year after her birth. Mariel: Wow. Lois Paula: We were waiting in the waiting room. We see other parents there among us. They’re holding their breath every time a surgeon walks in. We were praying and finally, the assistant surgeon pops in. We’re like, “This is it.” Then, he leaves. Mariel & Emirick: No! Lois Paula: “Were you just checking that we were there?” …something’s wrong?” Of course, your mind goes crazy. “There’s a complication!” “Something’s happening!” Eventually, he came out. He did explain that it took longer because of X, Y, and Z complications but…she was okay and the surgery was successful. In her recovery room, our first steps to see her, there’s tubes everywhere, there’s monitors beeping––there’s just a bunch of medical devices everywhere that’s it’s just––it’s so much to take in. You just look at her and you just physically see her heart beating out of her chest. It’s an insanely beautiful, humbling moment that we were able to see that; to just know that this is the creation of God. And it is Him who’s allowing this to happen and her heart is beating because of Him. And she looks like this but it’s okay because it’s beating. Emirick: I was reading your blog and it was very touching and informative. You mentioned how, in the beginning, you did keep silent, hoping that you could hold onto a sense of normal, right, having difficulty facing the situation? And it kind of touched a chord with me because I have a son who’s different and it wasn’t something I could have ever planned for. And in the beginning of my experience with my son, I just wanted it to be normal. And I didn’t know how to face it. I just wanted it to go away. I wanted my vision of what everything should be like to happen. And so, when I was reading that, I identified with your feeling, with that emotion. But then, you talked about how your perspective changed in a way to help you embrace this experience. And actually, you called it a beautiful experience. There are a lot of people in the world who, when they’re faced with this kind of different experience, they get angry and there’s that entitlement. Like, “If life isn’t the way I expected it, then I’m angry with God.” But you took a totally different perspective. What changed that perspective in you? Where did you go, from trying to keep it quiet, trying to hold onto that old normal to now, embracing this? Lois Paula: That’s such a great question. I think it took many, many prayers. And even now, it’s that constant struggle to be present and to know that there is a purpose in everything; that we can’t just take it at face-value and be kind of left in theslumswith what we have. But there’s this greater responsibility, as children of God, to do something and to say something, and to make known how amazing His miracles are in our life, whether it’s big or small, whether it’s the birth of a child, whether it’s the birth of your sixth child, whatever it may be, it’s a blessing because, the way that I saw it, it was like, “Wow. He chose me? He chose us?” Mariel: Right. Lois Paula: Who are we to have to undergo this? And although it’s difficult, He sees something in us, to be able to take it and to grow stronger from it. And then, not be selfish and not keep quiet, but to use it. And so, until this day, I’m finding the courage to be positive about it and to look back and know that she is special. That every child and every person with, whether it’s a medical condition or a disability or anything of the sort, that goes against or is different from the normal of what we all know, that it is special and there’s a story to be told, and a responsibility to share, again, of how God has worked through that. Throughout the first month of her life, we’re so grateful because we were guided to always update the Church Administration and to write to our Executive Minister, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo. And that in itself was just a very, very humbling opportunity, to just let him know how our daughter was and how the ministers that are guiding us are helping us get through it. They would visit regularly to anoint her with oil and to pray for her every step. Mariel: For all of those who are listening, anointing of oil is important for us members of the Church Of Christ because it’s a command from the Bible that when we are sick, we call on the elders who are the officers of the Church Of Christ to pray for us and anoint us with oil. Emirick: So, what is life like today with your one-year-old daughter? 16 months later, right? Lois Paula: Yes, 16 months later. Emirick: What’s going on? Lois Paula: Isla is so high-spirited. She’s as normal as a one-year-old can act. But to us, she will always be special. We don’t want to think of it like it’s something that is a disability to her but at the…

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    The Joys of Motherhood Nov 12, 2020
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    Motherhood can be tough but it’s also very rewarding. Listen to Christian moms discuss the reasons why motherhood is so worth it and is a great blessing. Show/Hide Transcript INTRO: Mariel: Hello! Welcome to the Faith and Family podcast hosted by the Tired But Inspired Moms. We are four Christian moms who are members of the Church Of Christ, Iglesia Ni Cristo. I’m Mariel Gutierrez, been a mom since 2006. Bernie: I’m Bernie Rosquites, been a mom since 2012. Emirick: I’m Emirick Haro, been momming since 2000. Jewell: And I’m Jewell Buenavista, been a mom since 2008. Mariel: And we’ve been friends forever. Yay! I love these mommas with me. So today, we’re talking about how tough it is to be a mom, but we’re also going to remind you about how awesome it is as well, based on our experiences, right? We’re taking this time to count our blessing because on really tough days being a mom isn’t easy. Studies reveal that the majority of mothers, about 85% of them, said they do not feel supported or understood by society. That’s a sad statistic. That’s too high. That’s too high. I guess we’re part of the 25% that’s not there, I hope, because we have each other. But ladies, how difficult is it to be a mom, like if you rank it from 1-10? Ten being the hardest. Bernie: I’m going to go with 11. I’m going with 11. Mariel: That’s off the scale. Bernie: Exactly. Emirick: I’m going to up 1 you, Bernie. I’m going to say it’s 12. Bernie: Alright, alright. It’s not a competition. Jewell: Okay, I’ll bring it down a little bit. I’ll say 10 but I love it. Mariel: Our average is still a little off the radar, guys. Mariel: Right. You know what, I just wanted to share one of the stories that always comes to my mind when I’m thinking about hard times and moments where I feel like I failed as a mom. I think that you may have heard this story before because we’re friends- we text and we talk and whatever. It was around the time Massimo was born, and he was a newborn almost a decade ago-wow- and he had a poop explosion on my white couch, okay. Why do we even have a white couch with kids? I don’t know. But, he had a poop explosion, and it’s like, ‘yeah, newborn, poop explosion – makes sense right? So, I’m cleaning him up and then – guess who else had a poop explosion? Now, my daughter – who was about 3 at this point, right, and she’s been potty trained for a year and a half – she decides, ‘well if he can do it, I guess it’s a free for all. I’m going to do it too. And so she does it too. And there was poop everywhere. You guys know, you remember poop explosions of the onesie, right? It’s all over the onesies, it’s all over the back and it’s all over you, but this one was on the couch too. I just felt really overwhelmed at that point, you know? And I cried. I cried a lot. I was just like, ‘forget it I’m not going to clean anything at this moment.’ I had to, eventually, obviously. Yeah, I just felt alone, and I felt like I was drowning, and everything was just trying to just push my kids to the surface so they can survive. And everything was kind of in a cycle. We were doing laundry, and feeding, and we were snacking, and pumping, and reading. When you’re in those moments, and I don’t know if you had those moments. I’m sure you guys have. It’s hard to see the beauty of motherhood, especially when you just had the baby. Emirick: I remember in those phases, you’re always thinking about the next phase. Mariel: Exactly. Emirick: When they’re 1, it’ll be easier. When they’re 2, it’ll be better. Mariel: And how wrong were we? Emirick: Yeah! And then when you look back, you just remember it was hard, but it was also… Mariel: I know, but you don’t remember it well enough to have more children, right? Just kidding! Mariel: So anyway, back then at that moment – probably one of my most overwhelming ones, I started fine-tuning my prayer because I realized I can’t do it. I can’t do it alone. I can’t. I used to pray, of course, for God to bless my family, bless my children, etcetera. But now I had a specific prayer for me, as a mom – ‘bless me’ – I remember my prayer. Even until now, it’s ‘bless me to become the mother that my children deserve’. So after that, little by little, it didn’t happen overnight, right? But God taught me how to be more patient. God pointed me to resources, and verses, and eventually to you guys – my own mom village. But yeah, do you guys ever have moments like that? That you can recall? Like motherhood wasn’t like la vie en rose? Bernie: I think everyone, every mom out there can relate to that, Mar. First of all, I’m just glad you found your way through those prayers. You gained your footing. I get those internal struggles too, but sometimes it’s external. It’s kind of like what other parents are doing that makes you feel really bad. I remember this one time, my son was in Pre-K and I was invited by some moms to have lunch/playdate with our kids who were in the same class as my son. And I was like, ‘cool!’ And I would still try to look for that mom village myself and this was a great opportunity for me to connect with other moms. So they come, they bring our lunches, one mom, she brings the PB&J, Goldfish crackers, a bag of grapes, and juice, all that. And these 2 other moms had similar lunches but their kids had a salad bowl, a tangerine, the seaweed snacks… Emirick: What?! Mariel: Wow! I wish I ate like that. Bernie: Right? I don’t even eat like that now. And bottled water. And then there’s me. I’m toting the Happy Meal with the chicken nuggets, the fruit punch, and the apple pie, thinking like, ‘I’m a winner at this’. And the moms who brought the salad bowls commented, kind of gave their side talk, ‘oh we don’t feed our kids those things. And just so you all know, I’ll do it in air quotes. ‘We don’t feed them “those things” They were talking about just how they feed them like vegan, gluten-free, GMO-free, all that. And they don’t use peanut butter, they use sunflower butter. They probably dry their own fruit in the dehydrator, all that. So by the end of the lunch, I felt horrible because I was feeding my kid a simple Happy Meal, which I think every kid has got to try a Happy Meal once in their life, right? By the end of the lunch, I felt bad because when Jojo was a baby, I didn’t do the jarred food. I was doing the Baby Bullet, I would steam his fruits and veggies. Do you all remember the Baby Bullet? Remember those days? Remember that? It went from that to chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and pizza. At that moment, I felt like I failed my kid in the nutrition category. But, the next day, a mom who brought the PB&J, she came up to me, and she was like, you know what? She told me ‘pay them no mind to what the other two moms said. Don’t feel any way about it because that’s their way of feeding their kids. That’s your way. Everybody’s doing their own way, and we are all doing the best we can. When she said that, moving forward, I felt so much better. Mariel: I’m glad she said that. Emirick: Me too. Bernie: Right? Emirick: Let’s switch it up now, I want to talk about the moments that make being a mom worth it. One that really comes to my mind, to this day, my son, Russell, he was diagnosed with Autism. When he was little, like 2 years old, I was having a really bad day. I felt like, I don’t even remember exactly why the day was so difficult but I just remember it being a bad day. And I was sitting in a room, waiting for my ride, waiting for Luis to come pick me up. When they got there to pick me up, I was at choir practice. Russell comes sneaking behind me, and he was 2 years old, he couldn’t talk yet. I was sitting alone contemplating all the horrible things that are happening that day and from out of nowhere, this big old baby Russell clutching his Jungle Book VCR, because back then he used to always hold a Disney VCR in hand. He comes up to me with a huge smile on his face, let’s go of the VCR, jumps on my lap, and cups my face in his hands. He leans in really close and looks into my sad eyes, and kisses my face, wraps his tiny baby fat arms around my neck. He didn’t always do things like that, because kids with autism don’t always express that kind of emotion, that kind of stuff. But it was really big… I still remember it to this day. I feel like it had a message for me that I was loved and that everything would be okay. Like I said, I don’t remember what I was upset about, but now that Russell is 19 years old, I still remember this moment, 17 years ago. Jewell: I can picture him putting your face in his hands and giving you kisses still. You know, I love these types of stories because it’s true. I truly, truly believe that God uses our children to remind us of how much He loves us. Our children can test our patience. It’s so amazing how our children can drive us nuts, but at the same time, we just have such unconditional love that we don’t know how to contain this love for them. And really – I’m sure mommas, you all have your stories and our listeners have stories of how God uses our children to remind us how much He loves. I can share lots of precious moments but I can think of one right now. I remember this one time – I was just having like one of these bad days. Like you, Em, I don’t even remember what it was about. But all I can remember was Hayden, he said, ‘Mommy,’ – he didn’t say much – he said, ‘come here’. And then he grabbed my hand and he said, ‘sit down here on my bed. He said, ‘sit down’, okay? And then he says, ‘lay down, lay down’, just calming like that. And then he starts rubbing my head, ‘it’s okay, it’s okay.’ I’m sure through my voice, you can hear, he’s just calming me down. He’s just calming me down. And then he said, ‘it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay’, and then I just started tearing up, and I just looked at him, and I was just like, ‘thank you’. Those precious moments when they, I mean he was probably 8 [years old] at the time, but that’s why I truly believe that God uses our children to remind us, ‘it’s going to be okay’. Through their innocence, through their purity. When they hug you, they kiss you, and even though there are days that it’s rough, our children being around, it just makes motherhood just worth every test of patience we’ll ever have. It just makes it so worth it. they love you. Motherhood truly gives you that purpose. We are helping mold more people to serve God. For our children to say, ‘you know what, it’s going to be okay. God is going to take care of us’ – they’re already learning that no matter what happens in our lives, we’re there to serve God, God is going to take care of everything – that’s our purpose. It’s to raise our children to serve God even better. It makes motherhood totally worth it. What do you guys think? Mariel: I love it. I love that that was instilled in him already, you know? To be able to have that notion of how to take care of someone else and what to say and what he said was that God will take care of you. That’s so sweet, you know? Jewell: Yeah. Mariel: I just love it. I just love seeing how God works in our families’ lives… I know, as Christians, we pray for God to be at the center, right? Well, what does that actually look like? And when you can see it and feel it, even in the simplest things – like you said, like every one of you said – it truly makes motherhood worth it. For me, it’s been almost 11 years since I was in the “Mom-of-two Club.” Every night before I sleep – this is still true today – I’m always filled with such gratitude. I’ve learned how to be present, like always present. I think that’s one of the greatest gifts that God gave me – to be present, and see the blessing in everything, even when it’s hard. Emirick: I know what you mean, Mar. There are days where – even to this day – it may be hard, but when I see them after school or after work at the end of the day, I feel complete when they’re around and they just bring so much joy. Even many years later. Mariel: Exactly, and like what we’ve all been through, we’ve all been in the same kind of regional space where the sky could be orange , the world could be falling apart. But you know, I can still laugh with my kids. They feel safe to tell us feelings, they feel safe to tell us anything. They ask us anything. We pray together every day, multiple times a day. I guess for me, there isn’t just one moment that really defines how motherhood is worth it. But maybe It’s just me sharing this feeling of peace. That’s kind of the gift of motherhood for me. Like what Jewell was saying, it’s the purpose. You feel like you have a purpose. You wake up and you are grateful. Especially in our Christian culture, we know to pray together with our family, and that’s kind of how we all touch base with each other and understand how to obtain that peace together. You know that the love in the family is stable, because God is at the center. And then you’re good. Yeah, that’s just what it is for me. It’s a feeling, it’s a feeling. Emirick and Bernie: That’s awesome. Bernie: Well, so for all our listeners out there, what are you struggling with? You heard our struggles. What are you struggling with? And remember – and I say this so sincerely – you are going to be fine. You are going to weather that storm. We’re tired, but yes, we are also inspired by this motherhood stuff, this momming stuff. Count your blessings. Count your blessings, mommas. Jewell: I can hear our listeners say, ‘Yes! I know it, I’m struggling, I’m crying’. But mommas out there, please keep your favorite moments close. I know you have lots of favorite moments and don’t let the tough times get you down. We can laugh at them. And if you are down, all you gotta do is reach out to other mom friends. You can reach out to us, really. We’re on social media. Take us up on that offer. Mariel: Yes, we will laugh at you, or with you. We’re able to laugh together. We’re all in this together. And if you’re up for it, share it online and tag us: #tiredbutinspiredmoms #faithandfamily … and, remember, you’re not alone. We’ve all said it. You’re not alone, I promise. Whatever you’re going through, you will get through it. I wanted to thank you ladies, Bernie, Emirick and Jewell, thank you so much for your stories and your advice. And to our moms out there, thank you so much for listening to this Faith And Family podcast. You can listen to our other podcasts where we tackle how to communicate with toddlers, fostering kindness in our children, and many more on incmedia.org/faithandfamily, on iheartradio, Google and Apple podcasts. The post The Joys of Motherhood appeared first on incmedia.org.

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    It’s Time For The Teenage Phase, What Now? Oct 15, 2020
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    Raising teenagers can be complicated especially since their brains are not fully developed. Christian moms discuss how to navigate the teenager years.

    Show/Hide TranscriptMariel Gutierrez: Hello, welcome to the Faith and Family podcast. We are a Christian family community that aims to provide Christian values. And I’m Mariel Gutierrez.

    Is it just me? Or did it feel like our kids grew up so fast during these last few months of quarantine, COVID, and all the different things that are changing in the world? Guys, my kid is a teenager now. And I can actually feel it.

    Emirick Haro: Welcome to Teenagehood.

    Mariel Gutierrez: No, thank you.

    Bernie Rosquites: I’m not quite there yet. But you all know Jojo. He was like a teenager right out of the womb. When he was born they were saying like, “There’s something about him.” All the nurses were like, “There’s something about him. He’s like, it’s like an old soul. You can just tell.”

    Mariel: Came out with a Fedora, right?

    Bernie: He’s going to be eight this year. But still I could see the changes. I could see the changes where he wants to close his door because he feels like he needs privacy and I’m like what privacy? You don’t even pay no rent up in here. You got a job…

    Emirick Haro: Now he’s getting so sassy.

    Bernie: Right? The other day I was like, “Why is your door closed?” He’s like, “I need privacy.” And then he started to notice that he’s gotten muscle, he’s beginning to have a mustache. See what had happened was, I was in the bathroom. And I’m like, you know, putting my face on and stuff and he comes in and he starts looking at the mirror and he’s all like looking at himself. He’s like, “Mom, mom I’m getting to have that mustache,” and I’m like, “Yeah look at you.” And he goes, “But you do too.” And so those are the changes in my soon to be eight year old boy going to be like 20.”

    Jewell: Yeah. Love it. Love it love it. You know my kids? Well I want to talk particularly about Jasmine. She’s 12 now so she’s preteen. And as you know, Jasmine has always been more the quiet one. Her confidence is really building and she’s being more vocal, which I like. And she’s been taking a lot of initiative. And I think it’s mainly because she’s my firstborn. I mean, she took initiative to do me and Harmony’s laundry and surprised the heck out of us.

    Mariel: Wow.

    Emirick: Are you going to be one of the lucky ones and get one of the like, fabulous teens?

    Jewell: No, I think I think because she’s a girl I don’t know. But I actually got teary eyed because I think it’s you know, she’s getting closer to this pandemic thing, her brothers are close to her, so she’s really building confidence. It’s interesting watching her personality develop. So we’ll see where this is gonna lead us.

    Emirick: Wow, that’s good. I live in teenage land. I have three teenagers in this house.

    Bernie: You’re deep in it girl.

    Emirick: Yes, I am from like, 13 to 19. Yeah 13, 16, 19. There are good things and there are some hard things that come along with it. And I’ve learned that teenagehood is expressed differently. Each of my boys are like different kinds of teenagers like when Russell entered teenagehood, he was the anxious, emotional teen crying all of a sudden for like the smallest thing or no reason at all that I can see. And very emotional and expressing himself through art and comics and film. So he’s like the bleeding heart teenager. But when Andrew became a teenager, it was like, brain fog teen. He is the kind that he’s like, “Huh? What’s going on what happened?” Like, we’ll show up somewhere and he’ll be like, “Mom.” I’m like, “What happened?” He’s like, “I forgot to wear shoes out.” But David is emerging to be the Mr. Cool and suave teenager he went and had his hair permed.

    Mariel: Wow

    Emirick: He’s a very high risk taker. You know, like, he takes risks and which comes with a lot of money.

    Mariel: I don’t know how to feel about that. Because like my daughter, I mean, she’s always been sensitive. She’s always been emotional. I don’t know if it’s because she’s a girl. I think that would– I think just kids sometimes are, right? Like whether you’re a boy or a girl sometimes you’re sensitive. She always felt everything so strongly, even when she was little. So I already kind of anticipated what kind of teen she was gonna be. I imagined that was just gonna be amplified and I was kind of right. But there was just this one day where we were trying something new. I don’t know if y’all have tried bar, okay, but it’s all the twitch muscles and it’s very hard. It looks really easy. So anyway, we are attempting it for the first time and then I looked over at her and she had these like big old tears while she was squatting on her toes. And I was like, “Is it that painful? Are you okay?” And then she just bursted into tears and cried and sobbed. And she was like, “Why is everything so hard?” And I was like, “like the workout or like life? Which one?” So like, that’s what I’m trying to navigate right now. Like, I’m sure that there isn’t just one way like how do you deal with it? Here’s how you deal with it. But that is something. What do you guys do?

    Emirick: I have done a lot of reading on teenagers and the phases that they go through. And one thing that I learned is about their brains. Like a teenage brain. And even though they look like adults, in their brain they’re so not adults yet. And so, because they look like adults we project–, we want them to act like–

    Mariel: We assume that they know better.

    Emirick: We expect them to behave a certain way to make certain choices, but then their brains are still very underdeveloped and so like to simplify if I could simplify it for you guys. What I’ve read is that there’s a brain and the lower brain so the upper brain has that prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of rational thinking, practical decision making, being able to plan out the future and just making rational decisions. That’s the upper brain right? On the lower brain is the limbic system, the amygdala is in charge of emotions. And so that the teenage brain is still developing that upper part. And so that’s why they seem irrational. They feel more than they think like what you were saying Matea. She feels everything. She doesn’t think through it as much. And that’s one thing that I read about the teenage brain, they feel more than they think. And so they act out, they act irrational, and then we expect them to behave like adults, so we’re getting you know, upset with them, and why are they thinking like this and we’re thinking all of these horrible things about our teenager, but it’s not personal. It’s illogical and knowing the development of their brain has helped me to deal with a lot of the teenage quirks. And experts believe that the adolescent brain doesn’t actually phase into adulthood until the age of 25.

    Mariel: Wait wait wait, Does that mean they live with us till 25? Like, we have to be crying during bar?

    Emirick: It’s scary because it means we actually release them or, you know, a soft release before their prefrontal cortex is developed. And I think about myself, I was married at 24. That explains a lot from my life.

    So, uh, that that is crazy, right? But the more you read up on the topic, the more patient you become with your teenager and the process that they’re going through. I think it’s really important. I read this and this one really hangs out to me for dealing with your teenagers is to remember, connection before correction. And it’s really important to continue connecting with your teenager, even though you feel like they’re being weird. And you want to get as far away from that weirdness as possible, continue to connect with your teenager, be in the know, know what the trends are. Sometimes it’s a different generation and we kind of like as older people as adults, we don’t understand it as well but like I don’t know, as a middle school teacher and as a parent of teenagers–

    Mariel: you see it a lot.

    Jewell: Yeah. And dealing with my teens. It’s better for me to be vulnerable and honest with them instead of projecting an image of perfection. When I was young, I did everything right. You know, if I come across that way, I’m not as effective in connecting with them,

    Okay? So it’s important to be in the know, to understand what’s going on in their world, to know who their friends are. They’re going to be weird and erratic and that’s something we can’t control. That’s why it’s important to be in the know, and to make sure that they’re surrounded by other Christians who care and are constantly reminding them about their faith, so that they don’t make any unwise decisions.

    Jewell: You know that makes a lot of sense, because when I was growing up, I was always involved in the youth organizations of the Church Of Christ. And I really learned the importance of having a relationship with God and it made me confident and it helped me make good decisions. And I had friends that reminded me to do the same at all times. And that’s really what I want for my kids. I want them to be surrounded by others who have a good relationship with God and so that they can make good decisions. So when they do make mistakes, right away they think about, “Okay, how can I have this corrected so that I have a good relationship with God?” So I love that.

    Emirick: I agree with you Jewell. Because when I was growing up, the youth group that I was involved in at church was my saving grace so many times. When I was having weird emotions or contemplating bad decisions, they were always there to kind of talk me through it and help remind me about what our focus is in life and do it in a way where we were having a good time.

    Mariel: That’s cool. Okay, that’s really actually a comfort to know. And the great thing is Matea is blessed to be surrounded by a lot of people that she looks up to at church. Now that she’s a part of the youth group, right? She is an officer in the youth group. And that means she helps the youth group plan things and they do edification things. That means like, help each other out. And they do skits and like really cute things to encourage one another, and the group itself to help strengthen that group. But I think that the great thing actually is that she has a lot of older youth group members to look up to. You know, a lot of these– Well, they’re not kids anymore. A lot of these young adults used to take care of her during children’s worship service. And they’ve seen her throughout like the many phases as well. Maybe not in the capacity a parent would, but the great thing is that they know her, they look out for her even during these times, sometimes they’ll text her, “Hey, how are you holding up?” And I think that Yeah, even just them like, it’s not just me and my husband checking in on her. It’s like the young adults in our church that have gone through it, that understand her and that are looking out for her. I think that has been actually phenomenal for her. It’s been a great–not a parent supplement. You know, but it’s been great, that parts have been great.

    Emirick: It takes a village right?

    Mariel: There’s a village. There’s the village sometimes in unexpected places because I still kind of see them as, like, little kids, when they were, you know, but now they’re young adults, and they’re helping my kid out, so it’s great. Yeah.

    Mariel: Anyway, I wanted to thank you ladies. For being on the call with me today. I really needed to hear your voices and all your wisdom. And I wanted to thank everyone that’s listening to this episode of Faith and Family as well. Remember, it’s gonna be a rough age between 12 to 25. Apparently right Emirick? But let’s not take it personal, that’s what I’m getting. I’m not gonna take it personal anymore, right? It’s not us it’s them, but it’s okay that it’s them because it’s part of growing up.

    The post It’s Time For The Teenage Phase, What Now? appeared first on incmedia.org.


    Adjusting to the New Normal as a Family Oct 01, 2020
    Show notes

    Is it possible to work from home and homeschool? Listen to Christian moms discuss how to adjust to the new normal with prayer, patience, and God. Show/Hide Transcript Mariel Gutierrez: Say “I” if you feel like it’s been a pretty exhausting, confusing and faith shaping few months. Emirick Haro, Jewel Buenavista, Bernie Rosquites : I! Mariel: Alright, well you’re listening to Faith and Family, a Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values. Hello, I’m Mariel Gutierrez, and I am a Tired Mom. COVID-19, lockdowns, homeschooling, financial crisis, bad news on TV— It’s all bad. But we’ve managed to see a lot of good in this as well, right? We’ve been given opportunities to grow and become closer to our family and our faith, and we are adjusting to this new normal. With the help of our panel moms, we’ll be discussing the ways we’ve been coping through prayer, practicing empathy, and trusting in God’s plan. And at the end of the episode, you’ll hear from Brother Serginio Bayani, a minister of the gospel, for some inspiring words. But first, here with me are Bernie, Jewel and Emirick. How are you? Bernie, Emirick & Jewel: Hi. Hello. Bernie: Surviving Emirick: Doing ok so far. Surviving, exactly. Mariel: Yeah, like checking in. So, what’s the new normal look like in your house, ladies?Bernie: I’m going to have to say the new normal for me is the whole homeschooling or distance learning, whatever you want to call it. That’s the new normal right now, you know, but I’m thankful that I have the support of other parents and friends. I’ve been reading a lot, educating myself about how other parents are dealing with the same thing. Of course, you know, I pray every day, because that’s the one thing that’s keeping me going. You know, without prayer I don’t know. And I had to remind myself that number one: I am not a teacher, and my house, my home, is not a school, and I have to learn to just take one day at a time. So, we start our day with a prayer and meditation, just to prepare ourselves, and most of the time my 7 year old, you all know Jojo, would be the one to lead the prayer. And he would include both of us in his prayer, and he would ask God to grant us both the patience and wisdom to get through each day, because that’s definitely what we need. Patience is key. Mariel: He prays for you as well, like your patience and wisdom as well? Bernie: Yeah Mariel: Wow Bernie: You know he asks, “Please, you know my mom, she’s trying really hard. Please give her the patience, because he knows, he knows he tests me. Emirick: He’s like, “God, please help my mom. Please.” Bernie: Like, “please, help her.” You know I’ve been reading, like I said I’ve been reading a lot of books and talking to other people. Some of the things I’ve learned is, you know, to have a village. Have a mom village where you have the safe space to just cry, laugh, laugh/cry, whatever. And even the kids, you know, their school was their community, but they don’t (have) that (anymore), so I’ve tried to do Zoom meet-ups with his other classmates Emirick: Aww Bernie: or even kids from church and, you know, family. And then I’ve also learned that I have to be more forgiving to myself. You know, sometimes you see these things on social media. You look at your feed and some of these parents are telling (everyone that) their kids are learning all these new life skills, and here I am, I’m just trying to get Jojo just to do one thing. And I realize every household is different, every kid, you know we’re paced differently. Mariel: Right Bernie: So I had to be, you know what? It’s all good. Lastly, I think for me was we built a routine. You know, we wake up the same time every day, we dress up, we eat breakfast, you know, all that. You actually still have to brush your teeth. Emirick: You’re not wearing pajamas all day. Bernie: Right? You know, and we start our day with a morning prayer and when the day is done, when we’ve done learning, we end it with some type of meditation, kind of like inhale and exhale. Emirick: My new normal means to slow down and just chill out sometimes. The most challenging thing about being in quarantine was knowing how to positively adjust to the changes, because our pre-quarantine life was so busy. We were going everywhere, all around town, to do cello, basketball, art, swim, choir practice at church. Mariel: Right, and you brought them tupperwares of food. I remember that. Emirck: That was our normal, and b doing it and we were fine doing it. Mariel: Yeah Emirck: and we enjoyed doing it. I mean, even though it was crazy and we were tired and we could use a break, it was what we knew. So when all of it stopped I didn’t know how to slow down, I didn’t know how to chill out. So I tried to continue that at home. I made schedules and lists and plans. I woke them up early in the morning. I was trying to be like, “Come on. We’ve got to keep it up. We’ve got to keep busy. We’re not going to let quarantine slow us down.”And then it wouldn’t work so I’d revise the lists and the schedules and the plans. So, I had to pause and reflect and accept that I don’t have all the answers Mariel: RightEmirick: and just work on our relationships, so we all just slowed down. And it wasn’t so that we could be lazy and develop bad habits. You know, that was my fear in the beginning. We can’t slow down because then we’re going to develop all these bad habits. You know, I realized that slowing down was just about admitting that we’re not in control, I’m not in control, and letting God teach us how to pay attention better, you know, how to be a better listener.So, I just slowed down. I prayed a lot and I realized that right now, it was more important for me to just empathize with my kids, because it is difficult. Everything that they see in the news, in their social media, everything that they were experiencing and just being in quarantine, not being able to see their friends on a normal basis, it was hard on all of us. Even though they didn’t say it, Mariel & Bernie: Yeah Emirick: I could see that it was really hard. So, I understood later on that it was more important for them to just feel safe, and to feel understood, and to feel loved, than to force everybody to work hard for something that didn’t make any sense right now, you know? Mariel: Right. For us in our house grace, grace is a big word, you know? Emirick: Yeah Mariel: That’s something that I had to vocalize a lot for myself, for my children. Even like, you know, husband and wife relationships, you know, grace and that space for grace. I’m trying to learn, you know, to forgive myself for not knowing everything, not having all the answers, maybe not, you know, giving the kids the best food all the time. Because, again, I’m working and Bernie: Come on now. Half of us here lived off of hot pockets, so it’s all good. Mariel: You know, guilty, yeah. I saw them heating up a corn dog and I was like, “Okay, we’ll make it up for dinner,” you know? Bernie: Yeah. Emirick: We get the nutrients in at dinner. Mariel: Yeah, I’ve been sitting with it a little more, letting myself feel, you know, and then just going through the motions of the feeling. Sometimes you are sad, upset, or angry, you know. And even with my children, sometimes we do have to sit with their feelings as well, you know, and we have to vocalize it. I let them do that too and express that they are upset or sad, you know, and I try not to punish them for it. What we really try to do is understand the why. Why are you upset or do you want to talk about what’s making you upset, you know? So that’s kind of like where we’re at. There’s a lot of talking and checking in. And there’s a lot of space also to have them understand that this pandemic, where God is, right, amidst the pandemic, and allowing them to sit with the feel(ings) of like, maybe uncertainty and then turning to God, to lean to God because of that. So that’s where we’re kind of at now. How about you, Jewel? Are you holding up okay? Jewel: You know, I love listening to everything, what you mamas are saying, because I can literally relate to everything that you’re saying, you know. The first few months, honestly ladies, it was extremely difficult for me. As a business owner, my business dropped like 95%. Mariel: WowJewel: I didn’t have income for like three and a half months, and then on top of that, the same time, my mom gets diagnosed with Parkinson’s. My parents were living upstairs, in our upstairs granny flat, and so right away I knew that it was unsafe for her to be going up the stairs. So in the middle of my business dropping, in the middle of pandemic, I had to do major renovations in my house so that I could move my parents downstairs. So to be able to pay for that when income wasn’t coming in was just, “Okay. I don’t know how we’re going to do this, but we’ll make it happen.” And then on top of that, my kids you know, had to homeschool. And I realized too, for my personality, I need connection. I’m used to talking to people, hugging people, and all of that. Mariel: Right, yeah. Jewel: And then suddenly, it’s like, you can’t talk to anybody. You can’t go out. You can’t… Bernie: You can’t touch anyone. Emirick: You can’t get a massage. Jewel: You can’t get a massage. And it was, I realize all of this was just all at once, too much for me to handle. And admittedly, it led me to a little bit of depression to a certain degree. But you know, that’s when prayer comes in, and God is good and this is where I get emotional. And so, because I remember how difficult, and I know that’s how it was for a lot of people, but no. That’s when God knows when you really need help. You know, it reminds me of that verse where it says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” And that’s exactly how I felt. I felt helpless and weak. Even my children saw it, you know, but it’s when I know God really takes over. And in all my life, it’s always been like that. So, that’s what I relied on. I mean, as young as my kids were, we would have a family meeting, and then I would admit to them that, “Hey, kids, mommy’s struggling”, you know, but that’s why we pray. And then my kids, as young as they are, they I would say, “Don’t worry, Mommy, it’s going to be okay.” And it’s like, it’s true. And so, you know, again, God uses our children to remind us. But one thing that really hit me was when we attend(ed) worship service, and I remember this one lesson. I remember it really well. It reminded us, you know, the minister reminded us that, like, none of this should be a surprise. You know what I mean? Biblically, the Bible talks about how, like pandemics are going to happen, just a lot of, you know, crazy things will happen during this time. Emirick & Mariel: Yeah. Mmhmm. Jewel: It’s bound to get worse, but what we have to be reminded is not to worry, and God will take care of them. So literally ladies, that is exactly what I held on to. I mean, I just, it’s to truly learn to let go and let God do His thing, you know? And so fast forward, so I’m glad you’re asking me this question, because if you did ask me the question a few months ago I would just be mute. I would just be frozen. But now, you know, when you truly learn to let go, and the reason why I get emotional is because it’s beautiful to see God’s miracle happening right before your eyes. You know, I mean, as far as my business, I mean, what I lost in three and a half months, never in my life, you know, has that happened to me. I mean, God made it up in a month, as a matter of fact. Emirick: Wow. Jewel: God has provided even more opportunities that I’ve never imagined in my career, and so a lot of great blessings happening there. And with my mom, you know, we were able to safely transition her downstairs. And what came out of that is my brothers, I have four brothers, my brothers and I started a weekly devotional prayer specifically for my mom and her condition. But what’s nice about that is, now, I’ve never spoken to my brothers this much, you know. They all have their own families, but every week I get to see them, we tell jokes, and it’s like, we’re connecting, we’re talking about our families. And so that is a huge silver lining just out of that, you know. Emirick: I have to be honest, Jewel. When you were telling your story, I was getting very anxious, and you know, and my heart was breaking for you. But man, your silver linings and your, you know, the happy endings, I mean it’s not the end, but like, how much you’ve grown during this time and how much you were able to like, feel God’s love, and I was in tears with you. So I’m so happy for your journey. Jewel: For all of us, right?Mariel: Yes.Jewel: It’s God’s way of forcing us to stop and focus on what He wants us to focus on. Bernie: I think everybody needs a virtual hug right now, and we’re all going through it. I will say one of the valuable lessons we got was from Brother Eduardo Manalo, through one of his streaming worship service, was about not letting these anxieties overcome us. And when I heard that, it just like all clicked it. Jewel: Yes. Bernie: And it was the best spiritual medicine that I needed. That anxiety, it’s not even the same anymore. Even when I think it is, I’m like, “Let go, let go, let go. Just let it take its course.” Emirick: There’s a confidence behind it, right? Bernie: Yes, yes! Emirick: You’re like, “Okay, we’ve got to get through this to make things better, you know. Bernie: Yes. Emirick: And so you just look for those silver linings. Bernie: Yes. And I’m thankful for that. That has been the one, ever since that lesson that he taught just, you know, it’s like what Jewel was saying earlier, like, none of this is new. It’s going to happen. Don’t let that… and I’m a completely different person than I was prior to COVID, like the anxieties (don’t) eat me up like it did. My hair is still thinning, but you know, it’s given it time to grow back, because the anxiety has been crazy so. Emirick: By the time this is all done, your hair grew back. Bernie: Right? Yeah. It’ll be alright, everybody. It’s going to be alright. Mariel: You know, sometimes it’s been tough. You know, even just between the four of us, here, like different situations, right? It’s been a struggle in our own ways, you know, but I hope you all feel, and I can hear that you all feel like we’re not alone, right, in this. God’s definitely got us and He’s been manifesting that in our lives in different ways, you know. And our listeners as well, you’re not alone either. We’re here, God’s there, you know. If you’re sad, struggling, frustrated, it’s okay. Bernie: Yeah, remember just pray, trust in God and practice empathy. Mariel: Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Faith and Family. But before we end this, here’s some inspiring advice from Brother Serginio Bayani, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Serginio Bayani: I believe we can all agree in regard to the faith and conviction of all the four moms who spoke, Sisters Mariel, Jewel, Emirick, and Bernie. These four women have something in common. Because of all the things that they mentioned, during their conversation, they spoke about prayer, and that’s exactly what we should be doing more of, especially during these times that many people now call “the new normal.” The Bible tells us in Psalm 34, four and six: I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. … In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. [Psalm 34:4 & 6 New Living Translation] Brother Serginio: What a wonderful thing to be reminded of this, that as the servants of God, we are the ones whom He gave the right to ask, to pray, to cry out and to make known our cries for help. The Bible said, “In my desperation I prayed.”— “In my desperation I prayed.” If you look up the word desperation in the dictionary, it is defined as this. Desperation: Loss of hope. Surrender to despair.…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Teaching Children About the Importance of God Mar 25, 2019
    Show notes

    Teaching kids how to pray is an important part for them to recognize God in everyday situations. Listen to the conversations Christians moms have with their kids about God and the importance of God in our lives. Show/Hide Transcript Marielle Gutierrez: Hi, welcome to Faith & Family. We are a Christian Family Community that promotes Christian values. I’m Mariele Gutierrez from Fremont, California, and I’m a mother of two, and today we are talking about the importance of finding teachable moments. Moments that spark spiritual awareness in our children and joining me today are Harmony and Jewel Buenavista from San Diego, California. They’ve got three kids of their own. Hi, guys! Harmony Buenavista: Hello, hello! Hey Mar! Jewel Buenavista: Hello Mar, how are you? Marielle: I’m doing well! How are you? Jewel: Good! Recently, Harmony and I read a study that actually showed that 70 percent of young adults today drop out of religion. Marielle: Wow! Jewel: Which is pretty, pretty, scary. I mean Mar, we have three young children. A 7 year old daughter, who acts like she’s 30, and a 6 year old and a 2 year old son and they’re still very young. And reading this, it makes us think about, as busy as our lives are, what can we do to make sure that our kids do not drop out of religion or that they will always see how important it is to have religion in their life and to have God in their life. Marielle: You know as parents, as Iglesia Ni Cristo parents it’s our worst nightmare for our child to drop out of religion and to stop believing in God. Jewel: Yes. Marielle: As parents and as members of the Church we can prevent this because we have an advantage. The Church provides us with all the tools that we need. The Worship Service lessons provide guidance to the parents, the kids learn about God through the Children’s Worship Services, and if we ever had questions about anything the Ministers are always ready to answer based on the words written in the Bible. Jewel: Yes. Marielle: On top of that, as parents we need to make a conscious effort to get to know our children so we can evaluate how to instill the teachable moments. But then, how do we find the time? Harmony: Well at least for me, well both of us actually. During the course of the week, we alternate. Jewel actually tries to volunteer in the kid’s school. So if she volunteers in Jasmine’s class, I’ll take the other one out for lunch, like Hayden because they go to the same school. So those are the times that we- I try to connect with them during our lunch time that we chat, see what’s going on in school, kind of gage to see if they’re having any kind of any problems or if they’re having a hard time with anything- Marielle: So you’re telling me that you go out of your way, to have one-on-one, an intimate one-on-one time like hangout time with each individual child? Harmony: Oh yeah, yeah. I mean it’s- Marielle: Wow. Harmony: Like you said we have to make, we have to make time, we have to find the time to do it. Marielle: So, life can get busy. According to the Washington Post, this article that I read, “Parents spend less than 7 minutes a day communicating with their children.” And I don’t know if you’re going to argue with me, Harmony but it says that, “On average, men tend to spend less time than women.” Is this true? How are we able to squeeze in time for our kids to talk about things that matter to us especially as members of the Church Of Christ? Like what matters to us is God, right? So how do we actually take that time, how do we go out of our way to make sure that we talk about the important things? Harmony: We kind of remind them, if you have a test or anything like that, make sure you pray because God is the one who’s going to help you. Right when they get home it’s homework, and it’s the same thing we kind of instill in them, “Right when you do your homework, what are you supposed to do?” and the kids know now, “We’re supposed to pray because God is going to help us when we do our homework.” Marielle: That’s good. So you’ve integrated it into certain aspects of your daily routine then, right? Harmony: Yes, correct. Marielle: So that God is always kind of in the forefront of their mind, “I’m going to have a test, wait, I got to pray.” Harmony: Yes. Marielle: I’m going to do homework, I should probably pray too, right. Jewel: Even if they get a papercut or they get hurt, wow let’s pray because so that God can heal your owie. Marielle: Yeah! Yeah… Jewel: You know what I mean? And so it’s really cool when they see their owies are healing. It’s like, “Mom, look! God is healing my owies.” You know what I mean? Marielle: Yeah.[ Marielle laughs] Jewel: And so it’s literally everything. Not just big events, I think a lot of times people think we need to have big events that happens in our lives for us to realize that God is there. Marielle: Right, right. Jewel: But it’s even for the little things. Every week we have a sit down and then we talk about what are your goals for the next week, when it comes to your… Harmony: School… Jewel: School. How are you going to help your family? And then most especially, what can you do to help… Harmony: Your faith… Jewel: Your faith. And so it’s as simple as Jasmine, she’s in the Choir. She’s like, “Oh! I’m going to organize my hymnbook.” Marielle: Aww! Jewel: You know? Marielle: Yeah… [Marielle and Harmony laugh] Jewel: But it’s instilling like, “Oh I got to do something for God because that is most important for me.” And another thing that we do, the 3 jars. I don’t know if you ever heard about that Mar. Marielle: No I haven’t. You have to explain. [Marielle laughs] Jewel: So basically- Marielle: Are they jars of cookies? Jewel: No, no, no, it’s the 3 jars. So the first jar is, jar for God. Marielle: Aww! Jewel: And the second jar is for money you save for bank and the third jar is for toys or fun, right? Harmony: It’s their allowance we give them every week that’s why. Jewel: Yes. So they do good sets,(Need clarification, 05:58) they get an allowance. But the rule is, whatever money, let’s say they get 5 dollars in a week or something. The rule is, they have to always put money- Harmony: In all three. Jewel: In all three, but the first one is always God. Marielle: Oh wow! You’re already teaching them about setting aside, right now! Jewel: Yes, yes! And then secondly, a savings which is the bank and then the third is- Harmony: Fun. Jewel: Fun or toys. Marielle: Those are good tips! I’m taking note of those, those jars! [Harmony and Jewel laugh] Marielle: Maybe I’m going to have a big chocolate jar, a bigger God jar. But definitely for us too, we do our best to integrate our membership as Church Of Christ. You know the things we stand for, our values, things like that. Even the content of our prayers. I’ve taught the kids that when you pray before school, don’t forget to pray to remember that you are a member of the Church Of Christ. Jewel: Yeah… Marielle: Of course they’ll ask me, “Wait, what do you mean?” And I’m like, “Everything that you’re learning in CWS (Children’s Worship Service) so every situation you face that’s the thing that I want to be in the forefront of their mind. You know? Harmony: Oh yeah! Marielle: For me, car rides. Car rides it sounds…to be honest to you it’s really underrated. Car rides, I pick up my kids, I literally go to school 3 times a day. Unfortunately the bell times of both my kids are different and so I drop them off at 8. I pick up my son at 11 and then I pick up my daughter at 3. It accumulates to about a good total of maybe an hour where we’re in the car. Jewel: Yeah… Marielle: I was guilty before, when I drive I just be like this is my time to tune out, to clear my mind, but it was such a waste. The most recent conversation I had with my daughter in the car was actually during after Choir practice and we were going home and she looked kind of sad, and she was telling while she was singing and practicing for the Processional, there were some words that kind of hit her. And it made her think of, believe it or not, the condition of the world, but the thing is what you have to know about my daughter is she’s a serious kid. She’s 9, but you know she’ll think about things way beyond what she should probably be thinking about. So she went in the car, 08:15, and I asked her, “Are you okay?” and she was like, “You know what Mom? I’m just a little worried about what is happening in Paris. And I asked her, “Why are you even thinking about that?” Jewel: Wow… Marielle: She mentioned that because we’re going to be going on a trip, outside of the United States and she was like, “What if there are bad guys there?” And well so I had to collect myself, make sure that I don’t freak out and just be like, “Stop it, you’re freaking me out.” You know? Harmony: Yeah… Marielle: But I had to really choose my words and for this instance, I had to say a quick prayer in my head and be like, “I need help to guide my words here.” So what I told her then was, “You know what there are bad guys everywhere, there are bad guys in our backyards, and you cannot worry about the bad guys because you’re a member of the Church Of Christ, right?” And she was like, “Yeah…but you know this is far way.” I’m like, “No, you’re a member of the Church Of Christ here, you’re a member of the Church Of Christ a thousand miles away from here, wherever you go, you know you’re a member of the Church Of Christ. And what does CWS (Children’s Worship Service) teach you? Does it teach you to worry? Teach you to be afraid? Who are the heros in the Bible? You have David, right? You have our Lord Jesus Christ, he never worried about anything, you know.” And I guess she started like, “Oh! That’s right.” And my husband chimed in, and he was like, “You know what honey, none of the brethren in Paris were hurt.” You know? Jewel: Yeah… Marielle: Even though one of the situations that happened was I think really near to the venue of worship of the place of worship that we have there but none of our brethren got hurt. And I think that was when she was like, “Oh wow. Look at the power of God, look at how He takes care of all His people.” Jewel: I love how you brought it back to God will always protect us. We need to remind ourselves as parents that we always have to bring it back to God. Harmony: And it’s cool because we teach and teach our kids as best as we can that God is always going to be in their life, that He is always to be the one who will help them. But it’s great to hear it echoed back in their prayers. Marielle: Yeah… Harmony: When they pray at night and they say things on their own. Like God- As little as like God please– Jasmine especially she’s like please help me stop scratching. Jewel: From her eczema… Harmony: Just every single thing, every little thing it’s, “God please help me with this, Thank you for this God.” And it’s just awesome to hear that they’re listening…they’re listening to us. Marielle: And they’re acknowledging God in everything, they’re seeing Him in everything in your life. That is fantastic. Harmony: Yes. Marielle: Well I mean these are all great suggestions. I hope that all of us are going to continue on, so that we can keep on a solid unit of an INC (Iglesia Ni Cristo) Family. We don’t want our family or any of the families really in the Church Of Christ to be part of the 70% statistic of young adults dropping out of religion. That’s why we’re having this discussion today, as suggestions for all our listeners out there. How can we create more conscious or meaningful ways to connect with our kids now and instill what it means to be a member of the Church Of Christ. Instill how to see God in everything in every detail of our life. Thank you so much to the Buenavistas for joining us today! Harmony & Jewel: Thank you! Marielle: To all you listeners out there we have a challenge, I dare you. I dare you, to go on social media and show us okay? Find a teachable moment where you are connecting with your kids spiritually. Thank you so much for joining us, we’ll talk to you all next time here on Faith & Family. The post Teaching Children About the Importance of God appeared first on incmedia.org.

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Faith & Family’s Top 3 Questions Answered Mar 25, 2019
    Show notes

    This podcast explores these questions:

    1. How do you make connections with your children?
    2. What do you tell your kids about the opposite sex?
    3. Are extracurricular activities important?

    The post Faith & Family’s Top 3 Questions Answered appeared first on incmedia.org.


    Kids and Food Allergies Mar 25, 2019
    Show notes

    Listen to moms exchange horror stories about their child’s food allergies. Learn the allergy precautions and how this can bring your child closer to God.

    Show/Hide Transcript

    JEWELL BUENAVISTA, HOST: You’re listening to Faith and Family. A Christian family community that aims to provide Christian advice, and promote Christian values. I’m Jewell Buenavista.

    Food allergies are on the rise. As a matter of fact, according to the study released in 2013, food allergies among children have increased by 50% between 1997 and 2011. Unfortunately, my own children are part of this statistic, especially my eight-year-old daughter, Jasmine. Jasmine has been dealing with allergies for pretty much all her life. We’ve literally tried everything, and so, we’re pretty experienced in this topic. Calling in today is, actually, my sister-in-law, Liz Correa, who also has children that have food allergies, and can share with you some of her experiences. Hi, Liz!

    LIZ: Hi there!

    JEWELL: So, tell me, why do you think that this is an important topic for parents to talk about?

    LIZ: It’s definitely… like the statistic that you gave us, it’s definitely on the rise, and it’s something that, even those who don’t have kids with allergies, they should be aware of this rise, and how the effects can, you know, harm, especially children, that have these life-threatening allergies.

    JEWELL: Yeah, as a matter of fact, you’re right! A lot of people don’t realize that some of these food allergic reactions can actually be fatal.

    LIZ: Mhmm…

    JEWELL: There are eight foods that account for 90% of all food reactions, and I’ll name them: milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, fish, and shellfish. You recently had an incident with your son, Brandon, tell us a little bit about that.

    LIZ: Yeah. So, actually it was at the start of this year. We were given as a gift, this box of chocolates. And on there it had traces, you know, not traces but where it says manufactured on, you know, that could have traces of peanuts and things like that. Usually when they have that, it’s more like just an awareness that, usually, when Brandon eats something that has that inside, he’s actually okay. But this was a different brand. It was like European, and he had one chocolate and he was fine, but we didn’t know that there was an assortment? And so the second one that he had, he became… first, he was quiet, and if you know my

    son Brandon, he’s very active, and so I was like, what’s wrong? And when he looked at me his face had broken out in hives, and so I knew at once, okay, he’s having a reaction! So, the first thing we always do when he has a reaction, we give him the Benadryl.

    We gave him the Benadryl, and this is when I knew it was bad, because he then threw up, and he never does that. Usually he’ll take it, and then the, you know, the symptoms will go down and then he’s okay but this time he keeps throwing up, and so I was like okay, let’s give it to him again. So he takes it in, and it wasn’t getting any better. Like, his lips started getting swollen, his hives were still coming out.

    But, what was the, I guess, main factor that made us go to the next step, which was the EpiPen, was that he was complaining that his throat was hurting. And so, he was like my throat hurts, my throat hurts, and I was just like, oh my gosh! And so, you know, me and my husband were like okay, we need to… we need to give him the EpiPen. And so, this was Brandon… Brandon’s 7, and we knew about his allergies since he was four to six months. Four to six months. So, we’ve gone, never had to use an EpiPen for how many years, and it was this! This was the time when we had to use it! So, we gave him the EpiPen, and if anyone is unaware [of the] EpiPen, it is a needle. It’s an injection that you put on the thigh of the leg, you hold it down for 10 seconds, and it’s a… it’s a big needle! Because that needle is big, so that it can pierce through clothing to get to go through clothing, skin, and to get to the muscle for the medicine to work. And so, we did that, and the… the sound of him [crying], and that scream was just, you know, [emotional] I felt so bad for him. I’m actually glad I wasn’t the one who did it? I’m glad my husband did it instead of me, because it was just like, heart-wrenching, it was heartbreaking hearing him in that pain! But we knew we had to give it to him to help him. And so…

    JEWELL: … especially you know that his throat is starting to swell or close up, almost…
    LIZ: Yeah. Well, the doctor said. Well, actually we gave the EpiPen, we rushed to the ER, because after you give an EpiPen, I remember when we got training on on the EpiPen that they gave us at Kaiser [hospital], they told us, once you give it you have to go, still go to emergency, because that can subside. Like, the EpiPen can… you can still continue with the reaction. So, once we got there, they actually said that him saying that his throat is hurting, might have been the way that he was describing that his throat was closing up. And so, they said it was a good thing that we gave the EpiPen, that we went to the emergency right after, and it can also cause… the EpiPen can also cause, like, side effects. That there could be an irregular heartbeat, which he actually had, so we had to stay in the emergency for a good couple of hours until we got the clear to take him home. And even after that, he was on medication for 5 days to ensure that the allergy wouldn’t still be in him, that it was still under control, and then we had to go back for a follow-up appointment. So, it’s not as easy just to give an EpiPen and then it’s done. There could still be a reaction after that, so it’s always best to, once you give the EpiPen, go into emergency, and make sure that your or child is checked out.

    JEWELL: Thanks for sharing that! Because it really, it really paints a picture for the audience, for our listeners, that something as… something like chocolate with nuts, can really bring a child to the emergency room!

    LIZ: Mhm. And even, too, like, something as simple as you know… this happened with my youngest daughter. She was at camp, and one of her friends, she [Liz’s daughter] is allergic to nuts, and especially hazelnut is I like her biggest allergy. And so, I guess one of the kids had eaten a Nutella sandwich. And, I guess, the child didn’t wash her hands properly, and she touched Leana… just touched her on the face? She had welts on her face, and that wasn’t something that was consumed, that was just by touch! And so, you know, just being aware to like, when you’re around those that have allergies, to wash your hands and wipe your mouth if you had something, because even with our kids like, if we eat something that we know they’re allergic to, like I’m always washing my hands afterwards, or wash my mouth before I go and kiss them, because I know even a kiss would cause a welt on their face. So, it’s being aware of that, too, that it’s not only something consumed, but even by touch for some kids can cause a reaction as well.

    JEWELL: It’s really hard to see your children in pain. So, it’s good that we… that our kids are trained? But it’s also important that the adults around are really aware that even if their children don’t have allergies… Liz, talk about how did you prepare Brandon? Knowing that he had allergies, what kind of preparation did you do before he went to kindergarten?

    LIZ: Yeah. So, before he went to kindergarten, you know, everyone’s trying to teach their kids to make sure they know their ABCs, their 1,2, 3’s… Well, for me it was okay, what are you allergic to? [Laughing] And so, I would go over that with him! Okay, what are your allergies? And I’ll let him, like, peanuts, eggs, you know? He’ll start naming them off, because I wanted to ensure that he knew how to communicate that to someone, or you know, ask questions when it came to food. That was one way I had to make sure that he knew all of his allergies. I spoke to the teacher, I spoke to the school nurse, I spoke to all of them, and depending on, I guess, what school you go to, and I think this may be standard? They normally have like, a special form for parents to complete, that talks about like, the allergy reaction plan. So, in our particular school, the doctor actually has to complete the form, to say if there’s a reaction, what should be given, what medicine should be given at the school, and I had to make sure I had that with me that first day. I had all of his medicines in a baggie to give to the nurse, his EpiPen, his Benadryl, and I’m grateful that, you know, the school does have like a process in place, and it’s always good to, you know, speak to the school nurse or the teacher, just to give the extra communication…

    JEWELL: Although they do have these processes in place, to not do anything to make the children feel isolated. I want to share a quick story that happened with Jasmine to our listeners, which to this day, makes me sad to think about it.

    So, for a whole entire year, there was this one time, it was already like a month before school ended. And I visited her during lunch. I was going to drop off something, and I noticed she was sitting by herself at the lunch tables. And I was thinking as I was approaching her, I’m like oh my gosh, did she get in trouble or something? And so, I went over to her, and I said, sweetheart are you okay? Did you get in trouble or something? And she was like, oh no no, this is where I sit. This is the peanut free table. And so I’m like, well, why don’t you go sit with your friends? She goes, oh no, they won’t let me. I have to sit here.

    What I didn’t like was that the school actually isolated her. So, I went ahead and communicated to the principle, the school, the nurse, the teacher… and helped them understand that, as much as I appreciate that they’re creating awareness, they also have to think about the psychological and emotional effects that something like that would do to the children. Because that can lead to so many other things like, for example, the rise of bullying, you know? There are bullying of children with food allergies! There are many stories that you could even read on the internet about children with food allergies being bullied upon. So, I want to bring to the point… bring back to the point of the importance of building our children up, for those that have allergies. So, Liz, what have you done to help build confidence in Brandon and Leana, you know, so that they don’t feel like an outcast or something?

    LIZ: I guess one of the things that we try and do is, you know, we let them know that they’re not alone. That there are other kids that have the same allergies, like their cousins that have it. And that, you know, not to feel that they are lacking in somehow because of their food allergies. That they can do everything else, like other kids can do. It’s just, they just have to be more careful, you know? I think, instilling in them, once you know that there is an allergy… they have a food allergy, it’s just kind of not trying to shy them away from everything? But just to grow to accept it, and there are alternatives that they can eat, that they can have, so they don’t feel completely left out.

    JEWELL: So, Liz, aside from building his confidence, what else do you feel he’s learned from these experiences?

    LIZ: You know, from these experiences I have felt that Brandon has truly understood the power, you know, of God to heal him. He’ll say things like, okay mommy should I, I’ll just pray, and then God will make it go away, and I’ll ask him to make sure the medicine will help heal me? And I’ll say yes, that’s what you do. So, it’s, you know, uplifting that he has taken that, and has learned that at a young age.

    JEWELL: I love hearing that. You know, just just like Brandon, I remember… I believe Jasmine was only 4 years old, and you know, she was just learning how to pray. One of their first times she prayed about her food allergy reaction, and all she said was, you know, “Dear God, please please help me stop being itchy.” You know? And I mean just her saying that on her own, it is really… It’s like she knew that only God [could] help her with her itchiness at that time. I love that they’ve learned to call unto God for these imperfections that they have, but it makes them who they are. And so, and it just makes them more prayerful, and it really built them up, and that’s what also helps their confidence! Because they know that God is there for them. And so to all of you parents out there with kids who have allergies, you are definitely not alone. Please, send those questions, or if you have your own suggestions, let us know! Thank you for joining us on this Faith and Family podcast!

    The post Kids and Food Allergies appeared first on incmedia.org.


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