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    Sports

    Espresso

    Stand Up Comedian Benedict Polizzi gives listeners horrendous advice

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    Copyright: ยฉ 2020 Espresso Radio

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
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    Latest Episodes:
    answering the phone as a sex shop employee (What's Your Bit?) Apr 30, 2026
    Show notes

    Taking football snaps underneath the lowest object possible and telling customer service reps u love them is how you commit to the bit. Stop acting like you don't spam Monster Mash seventeen times on tuchtunes at the bar while secretly pretending to be a sex shop employee on phone calls with your boys.

    -------------------------------------------------

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    -------------------------------------------------

    TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS

    0:00 - Intro
    4:01 - What is your bit
    7:54 - Screaming is that a beer
    9:46 - Blaming farts on the dog
    16:07 - Cracking on people with your boys
    19:44 - Public property fridge leftovers
    30:33 - Big shoes Kevin at the gym
    32:35 - Taking football snaps anywhere
    45:44 - The sex shop employee phone pitch
    50:26 - Chips and salsa at the Italian restaurant
    53:50 - Stealing raisins after the salt trick
    54:39 - Spamming Monster Mash on TouchTunes
    1:02:11 - Saying mine as well ironically
    1:13:16 - The McDonald's parfait calorie scam
    1:17:01 - Holding hands at Catholic church

    Locked In On Caitlin Clark (Hear Me Out) Apr 16, 2026
    Show notes

    Eating ground turkey birthday dog food and sucking the ink out of a gold gel pen is exactly what happens when you get completely faded on a Tuesday. We are losing our minds over why having a baby with Caitlin Clark is strictly a business decision and how sleeping in a water bed is the ultimate flex. P.S. I'm tired of acting like circus peanuts don't absolutely slap๐Ÿ˜˜

    -------------------------------------------------

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    -------------------------------------------------

    TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS

    0:00 - Intro
    1:16 - Fboy Island and Patreon
    2:53 - What is your hear me out
    6:41 - The jelly donut agenda
    8:06 - Cooking birthday dog food
    11:12 - Patio furniture in the living room
    12:36 - Fumbling the eighth grade aim voicemail
    16:52 - Sleeping in a Murphy bed
    20:51 - Crushing Cheetos into a PB and J
    31:33 - Circus peanuts and black licorice
    43:42 - Fox McCloud from Super Mario Galaxy
    46:30 - Aggressive foxes as house pets
    54:53 - Local news weather girls
    59:40 - Yellow mustard on avocados
    1:03:53 - Stale chips are better than fresh

    -------------------------------------------------

    thing ur ex did that u liked? Apr 02, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    what's ur last meal? Mar 19, 2026
    Show notes

    Planning out your last meal on Earth gets completely cooked when you realize crumbling a Kraft single over a sloppy joe is the ultimate flex. We are crashing out over girls complaining about tomato texture while drinking boba tea and why taking a girl in heels to Benihana is a massive fumble. Stop acting like you didn't drink cold Chef Boyardee ravioli straight from the can in your childhood garage.

    -------------------------------------------------

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    -------------------------------------------------

    TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS

    0:00 - Intro
    3:10 - What's ur last meal on Earth
    6:45 - The Crumbl cookie delivery scam
    9:15 - Using lactose intolerance as a weapon of war
    14:30 - McDonald's sausage biscuits with grape jelly
    20:15 - Cookie cake lasagna and the butt of the bread
    26:40 - Girls complaining about tomato texture
    31:20 - Dying from frozen cookie dough in the garage
    38:50 - Choking on three cinnamon donut holes
    46:10 - Six Flags fits and King's Island hype
    51:30 - Taking a girl in heels to Benihana
    55:45 - Putting a Kraft single on a sloppy joe
    1:01:20 - Drinking Chef Boyardee ravioli from the can
    1:04:15 - Proposals in the woods are completely staged

    what had the biggest come up? Mar 05, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    what are u asking at the gates of heaven? Feb 19, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    what's the show you miss? Feb 05, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    wtf were u even doing in 2016 Jan 22, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    ask me sum Jan 08, 2026
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

    what do you REALLY want for xmas? Dec 24, 2025
    Show notes

    Send this to your homies to support the pod!
    https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi

    โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/
    ๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ก๐—ก๐—ฌ'๐—ฆ ๐—จ๐—ฃ๐—–๐—ข๐— ๐—œ๐—ก๐—š ๐—ฆ๐—ง๐—”๐—ก๐—— ๐—จ๐—ฃ ๐—ฆ๐—›๐—ข๐—ช๐—ฆ https://bennypolizzi.com/
    ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX
    ๐Ÿงข "BALD" ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ 50% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/

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