Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience

Latest Episodes:

EBD040 What to Do When Your Dog is Barking and Running the Fence with the Dog Next Door Feb 18, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Kathy discusses the issue of our dogs running the fence line, barking frantically. Kathy shares a clip of one of her coaching sessions, from her Brilliant Partners Academy program, with Claire who struggled with her dog lunging, running and barking along the fence line at the neighbor's dog. She talks about the disconnection between us and our dogs at that point and what we can do to get the connection back. Claire has successfully been able to stop her dog from doing these things through her coaching!

Claire's question: "How do I stop my dog, Marley, from jumping and barking at the neighbor's fence when the neighbor's dog is out? He stops when I shout, "no," to him and comes back in. He also sits by the fence looking for her if she's not out. I'm pleased that he's now listening and stopping when I tell him, "no," as he used to have deaf ears to this. But how can I stop the initial rushing, jumping, barking?" Listen in to this episode to hear Kathy's coaching advice for Clair.

Kathy wants to know how you feel about this coaching moment. What have you tried or will you try after listening to this episode? Kathy also recommends listening to episode 4 and episode 9.

"Dogs get into a zone when running the fence like that, and they just can't hear us"

"Instead of yelling 'no' at him, try going away to the other side of the yard or go in the house. If you were to leave him out there he wouldn't be interested in staying out there without you."

"Every time your dog runs out, barking and running the fence, and you shout out no ... you are leaking trust and damaging your relationship" "When we are dealing with embedded patterns of behavior, we need to interrupt and manage the situation to create the space for a new habit to be created."

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EBD039 Stuck Inside with Your Stir Crazy Dog? Do This Feb 11, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Kathy explains how being trapped in the house because of extreme winter or summer can strengthen the bond between you and your dog. It is also the perfect teaching opportunity to work with your dogs' impulse control. What does this mean? It means taking a mindful and calm attentive responsiveness to our relationships with our dogs. Being locked up with your dog is actually a great opportunity!

Your dog can learn how to let you, their partner:

Calm them
Mindful action eases the crazy way theyŕe feeling
We can develop reading our dogs better
- Emotionally
- Mentally
- Physically

Kathy gives a quick rundown about believing that dogs naturally want to contribute to their family unit. (Because of social intelligence) If you or your dog are overwhelmed, we can't learn or focus on anything least of all our intention.

High arousal activities that your dog displays with or without you should be limited to fifteen percent of each day. Kathy also believes that just spending time with our dogs is a really useful tool for your dog to have.

Four useful things to work on with your dog while you're confined to the house due to weather:

Teach your dogs to pay close attention to you.
1. To be responsible partners
2. To know to look to you for answers/direction
  1. Posture
  2. Position
  3. Presence
3. Dialogue with your dog using the three Ps.
1. Expressions
2. Breathing
3. Actions
Develop your skill to a master level in objectively observing and reading your dog's communications in a single instant.
1. Observe your own body
2. Observe your focus
3. Observe your calmness
4. Observe your tone voice/whistle
5. Observe the speed with which you're speaking
6. Observe your facial expression
Become a zen master of yourself which will nurture your dog and your partnership.
1. Touch your dog whenever either of you are feeling tense
2. Breathe in rhythm to your stroking
  1. Releases oxytocin
3. Being mindfully connected
Use the power of your breathing and calming touch

"I believe that our dogs connect us to the heart and soul of what really matters in life."

"Being stuck inside is a great time to practice impulse control and build a better partnership."

"Being confined indoors with our dogs is a great opportunity to practice being calm, clear, and relaxed."

"We affect our dogs by our emotions and intentions."

The Brilliant Partners Workshop!

http://dancinghearts.link/bpaworkshop

Additional Links

Enlightened by Dogs Website

Facebook Community

Kathy's YouTube Channel

EBD Podcast on iTunes

EBD038 Your Dog is Designed For Partnership! Feb 04, 2019

Show notes

There is no one on this planet who knows how important a dog is in your life like dog enthusiast Kathy Kawalec of the Enlightened by Dogs Podcast. Just like you, Kathy sees a kindred spirit, a sentient being, a heart and a soul when she looks into the eyes of a dog. Our host makes no bones about her opinion that partnership with our dogs is much better than simply training them. Partnership is based on a deep trusting connection and it's this connection that breeds the behavior that we want to see from our furry friend. What could be better?

In This Episode, Kathy starts with an engaging quote from Helen Keller, "Any teacher can take a child to the classroom, but not every teacher can make him learn. He will not work joyously unless he feels that liberty is his." She starts this way to illustrate the connection in Helen's quote and our relationship with our dogs. Our dogs want to be heard and truly understood by us in our roles as partners and leaders with them.

Dance of Partnership - a special way of communication, decreases need for training, but accelerates learning process. There is a profound connection between all living things especially with our dogs. Through cognition we can learn how to tap into the power of that DNA that we share with our dogs. Dogs are ready, willing, and able to be our joyful collaborators. This dance is a heart centered leadership within your relationship with your dog. Equanimity is at the heart of this dance.

Kathy mentions author, horse woman and socially intelligent leadership expert Linda Kohanov who inspired and continues to inspire her in the way she interacts with her own dogs. "To be clear and confident of your own dreams while remaining responsive to the needs and gifts of others you must check your ego at the gate." Partnership and leadership will be discussed over the next couple of weeks. Kathy makes clear she will be talking about leadership and the bad wrap it has gotten in the positive dog training arena. Consensual leadership:

Given to the individual in a family group who is at any given time is
- The calmest
- The clearest
- The most creative

Propose to create a family group with your dogs and community. Maintain good boundaries. The entire group has its specialties. Even in the positive training community we have been culturally conditioned and guilty of unintentionally using dictatorial verbiage with our dogs.

We house break them
We do obedience training
We need them to obey our commands
We need to correct their behavior

We can avoid this by following consensual leadership. Sometimes the dog will lead: tracking, herding, fetching. Sometimes we are leading. It's a contemporary idea and research that is amazingly illuminating. While doing this we can come away with a profound understanding of what it means to connect with our dogs.

"When we are teaching and training from the heart with the best interest of our dogs at the center we will never go wrong."

"It starts with us taking responsibility for our part of the dance."

While conducting research Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods of Duke University said the following:

"A cognitive approach works so well with dogs, not because they have no mind, but because precisely because they do."
"All dogs are skilled at using human gestures."

"This is cognitive science!"

The Brilliant Partners Workshop!

http://dancinghearts.link/bpaworkshop

Enlightened by Dogs Website

More Kathy

Facebook Community

Kathy's YouTube Channel

Enlightened By Dogs!

EBD Podcast on Lisbyn

EBD Podcast on iTunes

Linda's Book: The Five Roles of A Master Herder: A revolutionary approach to socially intelligent leadership Linda Kohanov on Amazon

EBD037 Why Dog Training Is Failing Jan 28, 2019

Show notes

Kathy starts out this episode with a personal thanks to listener CarolC64 who left a rating and heartfelt comment on the last episode. Our host reminds us that any person who rates or comments can be featured on future episodes as a shout out!

In this episode of Enlightened by Dogs podcast Kathy gets passionate and serious about the biggest myths in dog training:

Training makes our lives better
- Excessive training confuses our dogs
- The dogs will try hard to make the correct choices or magic combination of steps, but this can result in
- - Frantic behavior
  - Completely emotionally check out
I only wish I was a better trainer or had more time to train behavior would be better

Serious dog enthusiasts understand that our dogs are not condition/response machines. (and don't want them to be.) They understand that there are so many more sciences at work than the simple behavioral sciences which is why the partnership approach works best. It gives the highest level of effectiveness, connectedness, and is holistic in approach. (behavioral science, cognitive science, neuroscience, epigenetics . . . etcetera)

There are two major camps of training in the current culture:

Punitive - using intimidation and/or physical force/punishment to get the requested behavior
Positive - using positive reinforcement to reinforce correct behaviors which then develop into habits.

Kathy explains we have to understand that there are limitations and we have to face them. We can go beyond positive training with a breakthrough relationship/partnership training that levels us up and has been gaining traction over the last decade. The relationship/partnership method explained:

Honors and respects our dogs as socially intelligent and emotional beings
Gives dog(s) agency to collaborate with us
Recognize that dogs by design, want to connect with us
Allows us and our dogs to live a more brilliantly awesome life (that's what it's all about!)

The relationship/partnership training style does have limitations:

Not easy to learn and use properly
Timing and steps aren't well designed

Kathy Myth Busts the idea of needing to be a better trainer/handler: You don't need to increase. The training has limitations! If your dog(s) is not performing what can you do instead?

Look at the five steps of partnership and heart connection based training below:

Build a foundation of partnership with your dog(s) based on trust and intelligence. This allows for specialty training and activities later.
Learn to have the intention of truly dialoguing with your dog(s). Communicating deeply respects your dog(s) innate social and emotional intelligence.
Be a loving leader and a guide for your dog(s),
Respect your dog as a thinking, feeling, and intelligent being. Open your heart to form a deep connection that flows two ways between you and your dog(s).
Adopt a relationship building, partnership enhancing lifestyle with your dog(s) that encourages your dog(s) to display attentive, responsive, and responsible behaviors.

Don't ask which training method is right for you. That's the wrong question. Ask: how can I learn to be the best possible partner for my dog(s)?

"Partnership, not training, gives you and your dog inspiration and motivation to work through any struggle that comes your way."

The Brilliant Partners Workshop!

http://dancinghearts.link/bpaworkshop

Websites: https://www.enlightenedbydogs.com/

EBD036 What Is The Best Approach to Rehab a Reactive Dog? Jan 21, 2019

Show notes

Sweet and soulful Kathy Kawalec, Dog Lover Extraordinaire, wants you to have the best relationship possible with your dog and she is here to help! Kathy appreciates her followers by answering their questions, providing goodies, and giving personal on-air thanks! She wants all trainers, dog owners, anyone who spends an abundant amount of time in a relationship with a dog to build a deep, meaningful relationship, because she believes that dogs connect us to what matters most in the world.

In This Episode, Kathy answers the questions: What is the best way to rehab a reactive dog? What is the differences between conventional dog training and partnership approach to interaction with our own dogs? Kathy explains that the look and dismiss method is not a bad method and does work; however she prefers the Role Model or Partnership Method because it hinges on the trust between the owner and the dog. If we put ourselves between the trigger and the dog, the dog understands that it can trust us and we are going to show how to respond to this situation. The dog will gauge reaction from us while maintaining empowerment, instead of deciding by themselves on how to react to the current stimuli.

Why is the partnership approach best?

Role Modeling - we are allowing a situation to develop if we allow the dog to focus on the trigger. We are engaging with the dog and supporting the focus of the trigger and thus empowering it. With partnership we are showing the dog that the trigger has no importance to me or you (dog) and it isn't worth more than an awareness. We shouldn't use energy to focus on this.

"We're seeing a lot of reactivity in Dogs in recent years"

"What we focus on us what we grow"

"I believe that our dogs connect us to the heart and soul of what really matters in life!"

"I believe the partnership approach is the enlightened approach."

"Core philosophy is what we focus on is what we grow."

The Brilliant Partners Workshop!

http://dancinghearts.link/bpaworkshop

More links!

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/enlightened-by-dogs-with-kathy-kawalec/id1396570035?mt=2

Kathy's Website: https://www.enlightenedbydogs.com/

EBD035 Building Trust in Distracted and Reactive Dogs Jan 14, 2019

Show notes

Does your distracted or reactive dog make you absolutely crazy sometimes? Distracted and Reactive dogs often behave in a way that makes us nervous or afraid ... and unable to go places where there are other dogs ... or unable to trust our dogs off leash.

Do you find yourself getting frustrated with the way they behave? Well, you're not alone, and that doesn't have to be your reality!

Distracted behavior and reactivity can be resolved by establishing a deep connection with your dog based on trust, confidence, love and respect.

It's easier said than done, but with a few tools from a coaching session, Kathy delivers to her Brilliant Partners Academy members. Soon, you'll be noticing positive changes in your life, and the behavior of your distracted or reactive dogs.

In This Episode

Using the clarity chart and how it helps in creating trust and confidence between you and your dog
What happens when your dog disconnects from you and stops listening
The 80/20 rule, what it is and how it applies to your relationship with your dog
How will you support your dog as their partner?

"Building trust starts with stopping trust and confidence leaks between you and your dog"

"Circumstances that build trust must be proactively created"

"I don't expect my dogs to be going through life staring at me, that's not the kind of engagement I want"

"Make it clear that you have something useful to say"

https://dancinghearts.link/bpaworkshop

EBD034 Attention Seeking and Separation Anxiety in Dogs Jan 07, 2019

Show notes

There's a common mistake that we make with our dogs and it involves attention seeking behaviours and separation anxiety! Tag along on this episode and listen in to a question and answer session Kathy hosted with her Brilliant Partners Academy members! Kathy covers obsessive and compulsive attention seeking behaviours, and what to do when you have a hard time leaving your dog when you go away!

In This Episode

Fully integrating your dog into the family
Connecting deeply to create a better relationship
Redirection creates more problems than it solves
Pacifiers are not substitutes for true belonging
Leaving to go on vacation, and avoiding separation anxiety
Learning to become the future you
The golden cord

"You're treating him like he needs special treatment"

"He's a loved and valued member of the family"

"We're going to reinforce the things that we want"

"They just want you"

"We want to give our dogs that true connection"

"Separation anxiety is not a one way flow"

More Kathy

www.enlightenedbydogs.com

EBD033 Your Blue Ribbon Formula for Success Dec 31, 2018

Show notes

Dreaming big, being consistent and taking action toward your goals are just some of the things that successful people do, but it's not the complete picture! Kathy is sharing her EXACT formula that she and her dog used to be standing at the post as a National Sheep Dog finalist, 1 of the top dog teams in North America. There are 5 steps to take on the path to greatness and joy and although it's not easy, with consistent baby steps, you'll be able to achieve the things and feelings you wish to in your life!

In This Episode

What Kathy's heart desires
Life is not all peaches and cream, rainbows and unicorns
Why people fail at reaching their dreams, even when they're accomplishing goals
The 5 parts of the blue ribbon success formula!
What the top 5% use to get to the top of their game

"What I really wanted was to feel a certain way, and that's what I focused on"

"That's a successful life, when we can bounce back to center"

"Dreams without goals are just wishes and hopes without promise"

"It's just too easy to fail without the right goals, plans and actions steps"

"Without taking action, your dreams and goals are just pies in the sky"

"Dream big, start small, keep going"

"Our conscious mind is limited to what it already knows to be true"

"Our brain does not recognize the difference between real and imagined experiences"

"I'll be okay no matter what happens"

Creative Alchemy Passion Plan

https://dancinghearts.link/create

More Kathy

www.enlightenedbydogs.com

EBD032 Make Life Great Again Dec 24, 2018

Show notes

It's the time of year when Kathy reflects on the days that have passed, and looks to the future to make it even brighter and more enjoyable. She's got something big in the works for a small group of people in 2019, and is giving us a sneak peek at what it's going to be! Kathy also gives us the framework to having a great life in this episode. No big deal! She just lays it all out in front of us and explains how each piece works toward giving you a happier day, week, month, year and eventually a happier life in general!

In This Episode

Using grateful to be great in life
What frequency are you broadcasting to the world?
Dogs spend a lot of time being grateful or anticipating great things
Being an intentional creator and transforming your life
Planning and getting ready for what's coming next
People lose their way when they lose their why

"All we really need to do to be happy is to be grateful for what we already have in our life"

"When you love what you already have, you're going to get more of the same"

"Today, I'm grateful"

"Get ready for what you want to draw, bring and create in your life"

"You've got a lot of planning to do"

"Love the why's that have brought you this far"

Check out the Creative Alchemy Passion Plan! https://dancinghearts.link/create

More Kathy

www.enlightenedbydogs.com

EBD031 Your Mental Clutter is Killing Your Relationship with Your Dog Dec 17, 2018

Show notes

Mental Clutter, limiting beliefs and the power of the conscious mind are today's big topics on Enlightened By Dogs! Kathy knows exactly what happens when you allow mental clutter to build up, and she wants to help you clear it out! In this episode, Kathy shares her wisdom and insight surrounding thoughts that can hold you back, make you unhappy or even damage great relationships, and how you can change that programming in order to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life! Take back your confidence, create a life you love living!

In This Episode