Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Latest Episodes:

#1085 - The Sordid World of Honey Traps With Julie Inman Grant [R] Sep 23, 2024

Show notes

*Content warning: parental discretion advised*

Australia's e-Safety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant describes the fast-paced and aggressive tactics used by sexual extortionists targeting children and young adults. She gives clear directives to parents on how to prevent online harm, and what to do if your child experiences sexual extortion.

[R] This episode originally aired on 27/2/24.

In this episode:

Online sexual extortionists targeting kids
Screen rules, limits, safety measures, and supervision
Honey trap tactics
Fast-paced escalation from charm to harm
What to do if this happens to your child
Keeping your child safe online
How to report abuse or content to eSafety | eSafety Commissioner
Parents | eSafety Commissioner
Sextortion | ACCCE
The Teenage Brain – Happy Families
Screens in Bedrooms? – Happy Families

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#1084 - A Real World Honey Trap [R] Sep 22, 2024

Show notes

*Content warning: parental discretion advised*

In a brave and vulnerable conversation, Jake and his mother Hayley talk about their 'honey trap' experience when Jake was 15, sharing just how quickly and easily this can happen to a child or adolescent.

(R) This episode originally aired 26/2/24.

In this episode:

Honey traps and online safety
Real-life experience of a 15-year-old boy
Advice from Hayley and Jake
"No Matter What"

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#1083 - Go Get Your Self Care On Sep 19, 2024

Show notes

When your child wants to quit an activity, especially one they’re good at, it can be challenging to know the right thing to do! Should you encourage them to push through, knowing the long-term benefits, or let them move on to something new?

And then there's self-care—how do we even fit it into our hectic, overwhelming lives? It's so easy to let it fall by the wayside, especially for busy parents. But self-care can be more achievable than you think, with little things we can do on a daily basis that provide a moment to breathe and rejuvenate—without breaking the bank or needing more hours in the day.

In this episode:

When an adult child moves back home - how does it work?
Change brings anxiety
Resilience [Webinar]
The Secret to Regulating Emotions (train analogy)
What should you do when a child wants to quit an activity?
Overwhelm and burn-out
Pippin Girl | Happy, healthy, confident girls
Self-care

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#1082 - The Sunday (or Anyday) Roast Sep 18, 2024

Show notes

A lot of families love to "roast" or tease one another as a means of good-natured camaraderie. When done well (in the right circumstances, the right tone, and for the right reasons), this kind of humour can increase connection. However, when done wrong, it can be disastrous, particularly when children are involved, as they may not understand nuance and sarcasm and tend to internalise this style of humour.

Justin and Kylie discuss the role of humour within families, the importance of empathy, and an alternative to roasting and sarcasm that can lead to happier, healthier family relationships.

In this episode:

ChatGPT “roast my Insta feed”
Humour - the good, the bad, the ugly
The roast of Tom Brady
Sarcasm, trash-talking, 'burning', baiting
Verbal sparring, quick thinking, witty banter
3 benefits of "roasting" within a family
Building resilience, connection, confidence
3 challenges and concerns of using this humour
Building a culture of disrespect
The art of laughing at your own mistakes
Empathy

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#1081 - An Adventurous Life Sep 17, 2024

Show notes

Would you let your 9-year-old ride the NY subway alone or your 15-year-old son travel abroad with friends? For doing just that, one mother received the label of "world's worst mum," and another was reported to social services!

In today's risk-averse society, our children lack adventure. We want resilient children, and yet we try to control them in the name of safety, preventing them from being too adventurous. The problem is that if our kids don't do hard things, they don't get to be resilient.

Justin and Kylie share why playing it safe may just be the biggest risk of all!

Kirstie Allsopp reported to social services for allowing son,15, to travel abroad | The Guardian
Free range kids
What if...?
Resilience malaise
I let my 9-year-old ride the subway alone. I got labeled the 'world's worst mum' | Lenore Skenazy | Washington Post
Developmentally appropriate independence
Finding purpose and direction through adventure and risk-taking
The Least Interesting Generation | Brett McKay | The Art of Manliness
Resilience

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#1080 - Q&A: Lazy Husband & Sleep Struggles Sep 16, 2024

Show notes

An anonymous listener shares their frustration and exhaustion with a husband who feels more like an additional child than a partner, offering little support with household and family responsibilities. Justin unpacks "weaponised incompetence" and the unfairness and resentment that build when one parent is left carrying the load and provides guidance on how to address the issue in a way that avoids blame, accusations, and an all-out conflict.

Michelle, from Victoria, has a daughter experiencing mental illness, with chronic insomnia, anxiety, and friendship issues—all leading to a feeling of exhaustion and desperation in the home. Justin shares some ideas with Michelle that will help her struggling daughter, emphasising the importance of finding what ignites delight in your child—and giving them more of it!

In this episode:

Weaponised incompetence
When one parent feels overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful
Be honest (without accusations or blame)
Setting clear expectations and solutions
NDIS
Couples meeting
Getting on the same page
Enabling laziness
Autism, ADHD, chronic insomnia, anxiety
Importance of sleep and bedtime routine
Extra-curricular activities
Validating emotions
3 basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, connection

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#1079 - Age-Based Social Media Bans Gathering Momentum Sep 15, 2024

Show notes

In Australia, children below a certain age will be banned from social media as part of a national plan to counter its negative effects on youth. We discuss the government's commitments, the challenges this new legislation may face, and what parents can do now to protect their kids in a screen-saturated world.

In this episode:

'National Social Media Age Limit' | A Current Affair
Why 13+ is the current legal age
Collecting personal data
Politics and obstacles facing this legislation
The impact of social media on kids
Using screens well: with intentionality, self-regulation, limits
Play-based childhood VS screen-based childhood
Holding tech companies accountable
What parents can do while waiting for legislation to pass
Kids need smart parents not smartphones
Building community
Unplug Childhood - sign the pledge & join the village today!
The Screen Smart Series: 'Unplug Childhood' & 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' (included in membership)

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#1078 - Choose Life Not Dishes Sep 13, 2024

Show notes

Justin shares his disappointment in unwittingly missing out on the opportunity to share meaningful, heartfelt words with the people he loves after choosing to clean the kitchen during an extended family get-together rather than participating in a family activity.

We all have a need to belong. You can help your child to have a sense of who they are and how they belong by creating family traditions and sharing family stories with them. Kylie shares how she included son-in-law Jared in one of their traditions by writing him into their family 'birth" story.

In this episode:

Missed opportunity
Getting priorities right
"If tomorrow never comes..." Ronan Keating
Why vulnerability is hard!
Using technology to check in with people we love
Coulson daughter #2 has returned from Europe
The need to belong
Family traditions and stories
Adoption
Knowing family roots- -> increased resilience
Teaching kids about positive relationships

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#1077 - From the Doctor's Desk: Funny Families & Relocation Repercussions Sep 11, 2024

Show notes

A recent study has shown that parents who use humour have better relationships with their kids. But does all humour work in the same way? Are Dad jokes ok? Can sarcasm or roasting your child play a a positive role in parenting? And what are the consequences for our children when humour goes wrong?

In a large-scale Denmark study, data from 1.1 million people has shown associations between moving house in childhood and increased risk of depression later in life. We look at ways that parents can support their child during big transitions and soften the impact of the uprooting experience of moving house.

In this episode:

Humour in parenting: Does it have a role? | PLOS One
Defining humour
The consequences when humour goes wrong
Funny = reciprocal/consensual
The effects of house moves during early childhood on child mental health at age 9 years | Springer Link
Bluey 'The Sign'
Resilience
Parental guilt regarding moving
Association versus causation
Smoothing transitions for your child

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NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

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#1076 - 13's a Lucky Number For Foster Care Week Sep 10, 2024

Show notes

Have you ever wondered if becoming a foster carer is something you could do?

Our guest today, Belinda Baxter, has 13 children (6 biological, 7 foster) and joins us for an important conversation about foster care: what it looks like for her family, the challenges and the rewards, and what you can do to get the process started.

This week, communities across Australia come together to celebrate Foster Care Week, an annual event dedicated to recognising the invaluable contributions of foster and kinship carers.

In this episode: