Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Latest Episodes:

Has Screen-Use Crossed the Line in Your Home? — With Dr Brad Marshall Aug 05, 2025

Show notes

Nine hours a day. That’s how long Aussie teens are spending on recreational screens. But what does this mean for their development—and should parents panic? In this confronting but practical conversation, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by Dr Brad Marshall, clinical psychologist and researcher, to unpack Australia’s biggest study to date on screen overuse and gaming disorder in kids. Together, they explore what the data shows, what it means for families, and what you should (and shouldn’t!) do if screen use has taken over your home.

KEY POINTS

New research shows 9 hours/day of screen time for high schoolers and 6 for primary kids—just for fun, not school.
Around 5% of kids show signs of clinical or subclinical gaming disorder. 10% show signs of smartphone addiction.
Significant developmental impacts were found across emotional, behavioural, educational, and physical domains.
These issues start in primary school, not just during adolescence.
It's not about banning screens but about helping parents set and enforce realistic, healthy limits.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"If your child is in a sleep deficit because they’re on screens at night, that snowballs into everything else." – Dr Brad Marshall

RESOURCES MENTIONED

The new Macquarie University study on screen overuse
Brad’s Developmental Impact Questionnaire
Happy Families podcast archive
Brad Marshall’s organisation: Control Shift

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

Don’t attack the tech. Avoid saying things like “that game is rotting your brain.” It shuts down connection.
Don’t allow screens in bedrooms at night. Sleep loss is a key trigger for wider issues.
Don’t argue in the heat of the moment. Have the “screen talk” when everyone’s calm.
Get curious about impacts. Use tools like the Developmental Impact Questionnaire to understand your child’s experience.
Pick your battles. Focus on habits and boundaries, not just hours.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Q&A - Using Music to Quieten Thoughts Aug 04, 2025

Show notes

“My daughter says she doesn’t like being alone with her thoughts at night… so she plays music to drown them out.”

In this episode of the Happy Families podcast, we explore a powerful listener question from a mum worried about her anxious child using music as a form of avoidance. Is it helpful? Harmful? And what can we do instead? We unpack the fine line between healthy distraction and long-term avoidance - and share tools to help your child build emotional strength, even in the dark.

KEY POINTS

Avoidance can reinforce anxiety - but sometimes, gentle avoidance is okay
Music can be an effective short-term tool, but shouldn't become the only coping mechanism
The risks of long-term distraction at bedtime (poor sleep, more anxiety)
Strategies to help:
- Essential oils (yes, really—there’s research!)
- Gratitude practices before sleep
- Thought downloads/journaling to ease mental clutter
- Default Mode Network activity and its role in rumination
- Gradual tolerance toolkit—moving away from music to mindfulness
- Normalising and validating nighttime anxiety
- Parental presence and conversations to address the underlying worries

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"Sometimes kids feel like they’re swimming with metaphorical sharks. They want to get out of the water—but we know they’re just dolphins. It’s our job to keep them swimming."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Chatter by Ethan Kross
Research on essential oils and anxiety (referenced but not directly cited)
happyfamilies.com.au
Leave us a voice memo for the podcast here

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

Let your child know their racing thoughts at night are normal—and you're there for them.
Collaborate on a bedtime plan: gentle music, meditation, or calming scents.
Encourage journaling or a “thought download” before bed to externalise internal chaos.
Add in a nightly gratitude ritual—simple and connecting.
Over time, help your child build tolerance for their thoughts without needing constant distraction.
If things remain tough, reach out to a GP or psychologist for professional support.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before They Move Out, Teach Your Teen These 7 Life Skills Aug 03, 2025

Show notes

Are we really setting our kids up for success in the real world? From burnt spaghetti to budgeting fails, this episode dives into the seven critical life skills every parent should teach their child before they fly the nest — unless you want them boomeranging back! This is the essential parenting checklist for raising capable, confident, and independent adults.

KEY POINTS

Get Organised & Be Productive
Teens need to know how to manage time, set alarms, prioritise, and follow through on responsibilities — no one else is going to do it for them.
Keep a Tidy House & Maintain Hygiene
Basic cleaning and personal hygiene habits matter. No one wants to live with (or date) someone who never cleans the bathroom.
Cook Three Basic Meals
Two-minute noodles don't count! Being able to whip up three decent meals is a non-negotiable adulting skill.
Research & Make Informed Decisions
From phone plans to uni courses, help your teen learn how to ask questions, compare options, and confidently choose what's right.
Understand Basic Budgeting
Track spending, avoid debt traps, and save for goals — money smarts start at home.
Regulate Emotions
Teach your teen to handle stress, setbacks, and big feelings without a meltdown (or a phone call to Mum every time).
Navigate Conflict Constructively
Knowing how to disagree without destroying a relationship is key — whether it's a fight with a friend or a tricky work conversation.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“The goal isn’t to send them out perfect. It’s to send them out capable — and make ourselves redundant in the process.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

happyfamilies.com.au for parenting tools, resources, and workshops.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Do a life skills audit — which of these seven has your child mastered?
2. Model these behaviours daily: routines, budgeting, cooking, conflict resolution.
3. Involve your child in real-life decisions (like comparing phone plans or budgeting for groceries).
4. Use mistakes as teachable moments, not failures.
5. Celebrate independence, even if it’s just cleaning the bathroom without being asked!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Would You Wake Up at 3AM for Your Kid? Jul 31, 2025

Show notes

Would you get out of bed at 2:30am to drive your teen to Work Experience with horses? In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we share the parenting wins, fails, and funny moments from our week - including freezing mornings, heartfelt messages from listeners, and a couple of one-star reviews that left us speechless (almost). Also, Justin’s withdrawal from the Tour de France and unexpected fame in a shopping centre.

From meaningful feedback on tricky conversations to tackling criticism with humour, this episode is about showing up, trying hard, and staying connected.

KEY POINTS

Supporting your teen’s passion… even when it starts at 3am
Listener feedback about Sunday tricky conversations with kids
What it’s like being recognised from Parental Guidance
How to handle negative podcast reviews with grace and humour
The reality of not being everyone’s flavour - and why that’s okay

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

"We're not going to be everybody's favourite fruit. And that's okay."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

HappyFamilies.com.au
Parental Guidance (TV show)
Justin's Sunday Tricky Conversations (encouraged by listener Miranda)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

Support your child’s passion - even when it disrupts your sleep. Your presence matters.
Start a weekly tricky conversation with your child, like Miranda did. It builds trust and emotional safety.
Remember you're not for everyone - and you don’t have to be. Show up authentically.
Leave a review (preferably 5 stars 😉) if the podcast has helped you - feedback helps more than you know.
Take care of yourself too - catch up on sleep and laughter when you can.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The 6 Worst Parenting Tips We’re Never Taking Again Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

Ever been halfway through a parenting reel thinking *“Oh wow, this is gold”… only to realise it’s actually terrible advice dressed up with pretty music and a pastel background? We’ve been there too. In today’s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack six pieces of popular parenting advice they’re choosing to ignore forever—and why you should too. From controlled crying to timeouts, “spoiling” kids with love, and the classic “just ignore the tantrum” strategy, we’re calling out the myths that sound helpful but harm connection. This episode is your permission slip to parent with heart, not hacks.

KEY POINTS:

Controlled crying is not independence training — It misunderstands attachment and ignores babies’ real needs.
Timeouts don’t teach, they isolate — Punishment in disguise erodes trust and connection.
Responsiveness isn’t spoiling — Kids thrive when we tune in, not tune out.
Ignoring tantrums doesn’t make them go away — Empathy teaches emotional regulation.
“Seen and not heard” is still hanging around (and still harmful) — Kids need space to be curious, push back respectfully, and develop their voice.
Self-soothing is a myth for little ones — Kids learn to calm down with us, not alone.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Abandoning children in their most vulnerable moments teaches them nothing—except that our love is conditional.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel
Attachment research by Dr. Allan Schore

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Challenge bad advice — When you hear advice that feels off, trust your gut and check the research.
Choose connection over correction — When your child is distressed, meet them with empathy instead of isolation.
Be responsive, not reactive — Show up consistently so your child learns to regulate through co-regulation.
Make space for their voice — Let your kids respectfully question, push back, and express themselves.
Ditch the naughty chair — Find real discipline strategies that teach, not punish.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Schools Get Culture Right, Everything Changes - with Adam Voigt Jul 29, 2025

Show notes

They talk a lot about culture in schools/education.

What’s really driving teacher burnout, student disengagement, and poor behaviour in schools? In this compelling conversation, I’m joined by Adam Voigt—former principal, education thought leader, and founder of Real Schools—to explore why culture, not curriculum, is the true heart of great education. From phone bans to shocking increases in sexualised behaviour, we unpack the most pressing issues in today’s classrooms—and how families can play a vital role in shaping school culture for the better.

KEY POINTS:

Why phone bans work—and the student-led secret to getting buy-in from kids
The disturbing rise of sexualised behaviour and harassment in schools
Teacher burnout: why it’s getting worse and how to turn it around
How shame, not badness, drives poor behaviour—and what restorative practices offer instead
The 3 consistent challenges teachers face: student behaviour, workload, and parent interactions
Why building school culture is the most powerful thing a school can do
How culture improves outcomes for students, teachers, and parents alike

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“We need to reclaim how we work—not just the classroom. When schools focus on culture, every stakeholder benefits.” – Adam Voigt

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Restoring Teaching by Adam Voigt – Free eBook, audiobook & print-at-cost version
Adam’s organisation: Real Schools
Happy Families resources for families and schools: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Be a culture builder at your child’s school. Ask the principal or teacher, “What’s our school’s culture—and how can I support it?”
Talk to your child about phone use—and help them practice face-to-face connection at home.
Model respectful behaviour, especially around teachers. Show your child that respect is foundational, not optional.
Challenge inappropriate content and conversations early. Don’t wait for school to step in—your voice matters first.
Share Adam’s book with your school’s leadership team. It’s a small gesture that could shift the culture in big ways.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All the Lonely Parents, Where Has the Village Gone? Jul 28, 2025

Show notes

You send out party invitations and… crickets. Or worse — a wall of “maybe” and no-shows. Are parents today just too busy, too anxious, or too uninterested to connect? Justin and Kylie tackle the growing epidemic of “commitment-phobia” among modern parents and uncover why it’s harder than ever to build the village our kids desperately need. From loneliness to overload to digital distractions, you’ll learn the real reasons parents opt out — and four surprisingly simple ways to bring connection back.

If you’ve ever wondered why it feels like you’re parenting alone — and how to change that — this is the episode you need.

KEY POINTS:

Why today’s parents avoid social commitments (and it’s not just post-COVID).
The collapse of “enforced proximity” and accidental connection.
Why loneliness is now a public health crisis.
How treating community like a marketplace keeps us isolated.
The role of emotional overload and overstimulation.
4 actionable ways to rebuild your village — one parent at a time.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"Other people matter. The community you’re craving already exists — it’s just hiding behind the same fears and overwhelm you’re feeling."

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Submit your tricky parenting questions here

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Create low-stakes, frequent opportunities for connection — coffee catch-ups, quick chats at pick-up, or a casual park playdate.
Focus on contribution: ask “What can I give?” instead of “What’s in it for me?”
Schedule digital downtime daily — put your phone down and reclaim your mental space.
Don’t fear rejection. Keep showing up. Start with one parent and build from there.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Backchat and Eye Rolls? What Your Kids’ Sass Is Really Telling You Jul 27, 2025

Show notes

Every parent hits that moment — the eye roll, the “you’re so unfair,” the slammed door. It’s the backchat that drives us up the wall. But what if we told you that this so-called “sass” is actually a sign of something good? In today’s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack why backchat is one of the most misunderstood parts of child development — and how you can respond in a way that strengthens your relationship, rather than wrecking it. We share 3 practical mindset shifts and 4 go-to scripts you can use today to turn attitude into connection and cooperation. Yes, even when the sass is strong.

KEY POINTS:

Backchat is often a clumsy expression of unmet needs — not a sign of defiance
Reframing disrespect as a lack of skills (not a lack of values) changes everything
Power struggles escalate when we seek control instead of connection
Meeting autonomy, relatedness, and competence needs helps reduce pushback
Get curious, not furious — especially when emotions are high
Four practical scripts help parents respond with connection, not control

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Disrespect often isn’t deliberate — it’s just clumsy communication from a kid who doesn’t yet have the skills to do it better.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The 3 Basic Psychological Needs: Autonomy, Relatedness, Competence
The “Get Curious, Not Furious” principle
happyfamilies.com.au for more resources and support

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Reframe backchat as a sign of emotional overwhelm or unmet needs
Use validating language like “Sometimes it feels like I’m your enemy, doesn’t it?”
Offer autonomy with choices (“I don’t mind when you do it — just have it done by dinner”)
Give in fantasy what they can’t have in reality to lighten the moment
Use the 3 E’s Script: “Sounds like you’re really frustrated... will you help me see what’s bothering you?”
Set boundaries with respect: “I’m going to give you a chance to rethink that and try again in harmony with our values.”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

No One Talks About the Real Cost of Family Fun Jul 24, 2025

Show notes

What kind of parent willingly gives up a peaceful beach day… for four hours of standing in theme park lines? In this episode, Justin shares the story of his most "Father of the Year" moment — and Kylie reveals how she did something even braver. If you’ve ever had to choose between comfort and connection, this one’s for you.

KEY POINTS:

Why showing up — even when it’s uncomfortable — creates lasting memories for our kids.The unexpected benefits of shared boredom (like standing in line together!).How doing things you hate can still bring joy — to both you and your kids.The value of modelling courage, humour, and presence (even on the Kansas Twister).Why it’s often the hard, inconvenient moments that matter most in family life.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Do the hard things. The joy it brings your kids — seeing you squeal, be scared, and do it anyway — you can’t put a price on that.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

HappyFamilies.com.au — for more parenting inspiration and tools.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Say Yes to the Hard Thing – Whether it’s a dreaded ride, a messy game, or a long conversation, lean in.
Model Being Brave – Let your kids see you doing things outside your comfort zone.
Find Joy in the Chaos – Embrace the mess, the lines, and the noise as chances to connect.
Reflect and Celebrate – Share the story with your kids afterwards. Celebrate effort, not perfection.
Plan Your Own "Hard Thing" – Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can do this week that puts my kids first, even if it’s uncomfortable?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Your Child Questions Their Gender: A Parent’s Guide to Staying Calm [Parental Guidance Ep. 4] Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

Few topics divide parents more than gender identity — and the stakes couldn’t be higher. On the last episode of Parental Guidance, the debate ignited strong emotions and hard truths about what it means to protect our kids’ mental health while avoiding irreversible mistakes.

In today’s podcast, Justin and Kylie break down the episode, share insights from research, and offer calm, practical advice for navigating this sensitive topic as a parent.

KEY POINTS:

Why this issue is so emotionally loaded.
What we don’t know
The strong correlation between gender identity struggles and other issues like autism, anxiety, depression, and online influences
Why ‘affirmation-only’ models are controversial
The role of screens and peer groups in shaping kids’ beliefs about gender.
Why delaying medical or surgical interventions while maintaining love and openness can be the wisest path forward

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"You want to keep your kids safe, loved, and supported — but you also want to move slowly, with wisdom and care, because these decisions have lifelong consequences." — Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Time to Think by Hannah Barnes (on the Tavistock Clinic and gender identity diagnoses)
Articles and more resources at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Limit screen time and social media exposure, especially to platforms like TikTok or Tumblr where gender identity narratives can be amplified.
Check your child’s peer group influences — and watch for “cluster” patterns in friend groups.
Find a good psychologist or counsellor who will explore underlying emotional, developmental, and psychological factors instead of rushing to affirm.
Stay compassionate and keep the dialogue open with your child. Let them know you love and support them unconditionally — while explaining that serious medical decisions can wait.
Delay irreversible interventions (like hormones or surgery) until your child is much older and has had time to mature and reflect.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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