Dlisted: The Podcast

**Dlisted, The Podcast: Episode 175 – Roses And Thorns** Jun 30, 2023

One year after *Dlisted: The Podcast’s* last episode, we’re back and rustier than ever! Allison and I have reunited on the podcast to talk about the end of Dlisted and why I decided it was time for us to give up our corner on the gossip blog stroll. But before we get into the sadness, Allison tells me what she’s been up to in the past year and gives a highly accurate account (read: the opposite of that) of *Vanderpump Rules*‘ Scandoval and other gossip stories she missed while away. We also answer questions from listeners before my cold dead heart starts to thaw and warm as we say goodbye.

Thank you to everyone who listened to us and supported us. We may be back, but the bad news is, we may be back with our podcast on the life and times “*Schena Schaeffer*.” Sorry, you have to listen to get it. That’s called marketing!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 173 – The Who’s Who Of WTF** Jun 23, 2022

We start off this episode by answering to why we didn’t have a show last week (SPOILER ALERT: Allison was sick. #NotCOVID). Allison then shares some big personal news which leads us to talking about big podcast news. And after I pop open a Champale in Allison’s honor, we get into Britney Spears’ wedding including Jason “*Not George Costanza*” Alexander crashing that shit, Britney cursing out her brother over the news that he was invited, the wedding dress (it was Ver-sayce), the food, and the extremely random guest list. We’re going to need a Netflix investigative docu-series to explain to us why Ansel Elgort was there. And from Britney’s happy news, we wade into messy and depressing waters by covering Ezra Miller’s alleged terrorization of an 18-year-old.

Other stories we quickly cover include Julia Garner playing Madonna in the Madonna-directed Madonna biopic, Lea Michele being the first choice to replace Beanie Feldstein in *Funny Girl*, Netflix’s *Squid Game* game show, Martha Stewart getting made fun of for her “*kid-friendly*” salmon chowder, and Tom Brady agreeing to give his worn chonies to a fan

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 172 – Bow Down To The Pepper’s Ghost Queen** Jun 08, 2022

THE QUEEN’s Platinum Jubilee happened and we talk about how the show was stolen by Prince Louis and THE QUEEN’s hologram (which was apparently not a hologram but a Pepper’s Ghost illusion). But before that, we cover the end of the massive shit show circus dumpster fire mess that was Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s defamation trial. And we also talk #SwedenGate, the viral discussions about how some Swedes don’t feed their kids’ friends during playdates.

Other stories we cover include the possible extinction of Elvis-themed weddings in Las Vegas, the break-up of Lori Harvey and Michael B. Jordan, the woman who claims her date made her pay for her own food at Applebee’s, and *Morbius* deciding that flopping once wasn’t enough, so it decided to flop twice!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 171 – Fluff & Foolery** Jun 01, 2022

Since everything is horrible and depressing, we decided to get into three light stories that are either made of fluffiness or fuckery or both! We start by talking about the TikToker who claims she got a 3-inch vibrator stuck up her butt, slept it in while it was still vibrating, and then went off to the hospital where she had to get surgery to get it removed. From the tale of the vibrating vibrator stuck in a culo, we move on to a story about a couple who has decided to live on a cruise ship year-round because it’s cheaper than living on land for them. And we really bring the fluffiness with the story of a man in Japan who is trying to fulfill his dream of becoming an animal by wearing a $15,000 “*realistic*” Lassie costume.

Other stories we cover include RiRi’s BaBi, everyone paying to see *Top Gun: Maverick*, a person in a wig trying to hit the Mona Lisa in the face with cake, James Corden admitting that he only washes his hair once every two months, and the Kardashian story that made me Google, “*How do I unread something*.”

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 170 – What Would The Pope Say?!?** May 18, 2022

God may be side-eyeing Jason Momoa today because Jason went against the rules of the Sistine Chapel by taking pictures in it. BLASPHEMY! He later apologized in a video of him taking a break from working out topless. So we get into that. This is also a Jason Momoa-heavy episode because we talk about him getting with Eiza Gonzalez. From there we talk about how the current poster couple for Doing The Most, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, could be married and expecting a baby (but probably not). And we talk about *The Devil Eats Meat and Cheese* starring Anna Wintour.

Other stories we cover include the audience member who had the audacity to try to check Patti LuPone after she checked them for not wearing a mask right, Prince William getting booed at a football match, Kelly Rowland’s X-rated tweet that she didn’t know was X-rated, Sarah Silverman admitting she shares a toothbrush with her man, and everyone probably Googling “*coordinates for Christopher Meloni’s home gym window*” after Christopher Meloni said he works out naked in his home gym and doesn’t block out the window.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 169 – Cherries Jubilee** May 11, 2022

Every body language expert in the body language-analyzing game is about to be really busy because Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will return to his homeland of England for his memaw, THE QUEEN’S, Platinum Jubilee, and we’re sure that won’t be awkward at all. From there, we get into Kim Cattrall talking about being done with playing Samantha Jones for the 9,745,883th time, and TV’s Sherlock Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch, using his detective ears to try to figure out what the hell Ariana Grande is saying when she mumble sings.

Other stories we quickly cover include Dolly Parton getting inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame whether she likes it or not, the Virgin Atlantic flight that had to turn back because of a pilot whoopsie, Tropicana’s cereal that is meant to be eaten with orange juice, and Meghan McCain’s latest memoir selling a whopping 244 hard copies in its first week. We also answer a question from several listeners who are wondering why we haven’t covered the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial. Surprisingly our answer isn’t, *“Because the trial has been very calm and foolery hasn’t been afoot at all during it.*”

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast 168 – More Like “Shein Glamour”** May 04, 2022

Because of that headline, you already know we’re going to get into this year’s Met Gala (theme: Gilded Glamour) including Kim Kardashian making Marilyn Monroe’s gown look like its tag says SHEIN. We also use our fashion expertise (read: none) to talk about the hits (not many) and misses (many) of the night. From there, we get into Olivia Wilde getting served custody papers by Ted Lasso in front of everyone, and Oprah not leaving her “*house*” (listen, a sprawling ass estate is a “*house*” to The Mighty O) for 322 at the beginning of the pandemic.

Other stories we quickly cover include an update on Adele’s Las Vegas residency, Drake selling expensive ass candles at Shoppers Drug Mart, Aqua’s *Barbie Girl* not being in the upcoming Barbie movie, and Reba McEntire saying that if you want to get a hold of Dolly Parton, you have to fax her. And anybody who remembers that Aretha Franklin/Dionne Warwick fax story, now knows that legends use faxes!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 167 – The Twit In Twitter** Apr 28, 2022

Elon Musk is now Twitter’s daddy after buying it, and we get into Elon’s journey to buy his new toy, as well as what changes he plans to make and if Twitter lover Allison is going to stay or not. We also get into the train wreck trial between Blac Chyna and the Kardashians, and we cover the 100% accurate study that lists the countries with the biggest average hard peen size. I know, finally some news!

Other stories we talk about include Lea Michele showing Jonathan Groff her “*whole vagina*,” Misha Collins coming out as straight after falsely coming out as bi, Stephen King’s gourmet salmon recipe, the Cash Me Ousside Girl’s alleged OnlyFans earnings, and THE QUEEN’s complicated ass way of eating a banana. SPOILER ALERT: It includes a damn knife and a damn fork.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

**Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 166 – To Grandmother’s Castle We Go** Apr 20, 2022

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had a little 15-minute kiki with THE QUEEN (they were in the area, sort of), and Allison and I get into that along with Prince Charles being open to them becoming “*part-time royals*” in the future. We also talk about the random drama on the set of *Magic Mike 3* between Thandiwe Newton and Channing Tatum, and the man who won $450,000 against his old job for firing him after he had a panic attack at the office birthday party they threw for him and forced him to go to. WARNING: We bring up K*rk C*m*r*n’s name while talking about this since he’s the office birthday party king, obviously.

Other stories we cover include ScarJo once again denying the rumor that she boned Benicio Del Toro in an elevator back in the day, Cardi B and Offset naming their baby Wave Set, Darren Criss and wife Mia Swier naming their baby Bluesy Belle, and Rihanna temporarily quitting the good shit since she’s pregnant. I know, we bring you the news of RiRi’s weed break on 4/20!? For shame!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com!

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 165 – It’s Britney’s Baby, Bitch Apr 13, 2022

Britney Spears is Pregnantney! And before we talk about Britney making a Cheetoling with her fiance Sam Asghari, we enter week three of the Oscars slappin’ moment between Will Smith and Chris Rock. We get into Will Smith’s punishment by the Academy and Chris saying that he’s not going to say shit about the Oscars […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 164 – Piss Me More (The Remix) Apr 06, 2022

The Grammys happened over the week and Allison and I talk about the show from President Zelenskyy’s appearance to Louis CK and Marilyn Manson winning Grammys to Doja Cat making everyone say, “Err, I hope you washed your hands,” after proclaiming that she had to bust out a speed piss to accept her award in […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 163 – Slaps & Farts Apr 01, 2022

We were obviously too stunned to speak after witnessing the Oscar Slap so this episode is a little late. But we get into everything that happened after Will Smith took his history with Chris Rock to slappin’ heights and also talk about the winners and moments that aren’t related to The Slap. From there, we […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 162 – Snailed it! Mar 23, 2022

Adrian Lyne’s soft-core cuck trashterpiece Deep Water, starring Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, is out, and so of course, Allison and I watched it and talk all about the WTFness of it all. But before we talk about Ben and his snails, we get into Kanye West getting suspended from Instagram and banned from […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 161 – The XY And Z Mar 16, 2022

We start this episode by talking about how Grimes and Elon Musk made a second baby named Y (their first is named X), and yes, I make the extremely original point that all they need is a third baby named Z and their XY and Z trio will be complete. We also talk about how […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 160 – The Power Of The Chaps Mar 09, 2022

Sam Elliott really, really hated The Power of the Dog and let all of his thoughts out including how he’s chapped over all the chaps and gayness in the movie. We also get into Benedict Cumberbatch and Kodi Smit-McPhee’s responses to Sam hating on their movie. From there, we talk about the mysterious “spiritual gangster” […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 159 – Royal Kingdom Unlocked Mar 02, 2022

The SAGs happened, so Allison and I discuss the SAGs from Helen Mirren’s advice to live by, Michael Keaton’s bathroom break, and Jessica Chastain upping her Best Actress Oscar odds. From there, we talk about how the gossip site Hollywood Unlocked wrongly announced that THE QUEEN had died. We also get into Matthew McConaughey letting […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 158 – Crownavirus Feb 23, 2022

Coronavirus has become the worst virus to happen to the Royal Family since Prince Andrew, and Allison and I get into how Prince Charles, Duchess Camilla, and THE QUEEN tested positive for it, which is why THE QUEEN is only doing light duties. And after we wonder what kind of light duties THE QUEEN is […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 157 – Dinosaur! Feb 16, 2022

Kid Cudi called Kanye West a “dinosaur” during their social media tussle, and we talk about that as well as the definition of love being on life support now that Kanye and Julia Fox are over. We also get into Kanye’s obsession with getting back together with Kim Kardashian and his non-stop public dragging of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 156 – House Of Snubs Feb 09, 2022

We start off with getting into the Oscar nominations including how the Little Monsters are handling Lady Gaga not getting a nom for House of Gucci, and all the other snubs. From there, we wonder if Whoopi Goldberg will ever go back to The View after getting a two-week suspension for saying that the Holocaust […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 155 – Damn, Gina Feb 02, 2022

We start off by talking about Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and others pulling their music off of Spotify over Spotify’s podcast king Joe Rogan spreading COVID-19 misinformation. And since we’re talking about the former host of Fear Factor, I just had to bring up the blended rat shake that still haunts my night terrors today. […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 154 – As CB2 Cackles Away…. Jan 26, 2022

We start this episode by covering the saga that took over the internet and that’s the saga of West Elm Caleb (soundtrack provided by the sound of CB2 and Article executives laughing away). From there, we talk about the comedian of our time Julia Fox saying that she doesn’t care about attention and also letting […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 153 – I Am Mrs. Weed Jan 19, 2022

We open this week’s episode with the subtle and low-key engagement of the Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward of our time, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, and guess what they’re going to wear to their inevitably subtle and low-key wedding. We also talk about the Instagram model who claims she put hot sauce in […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 152 – New Year, Old Us Jan 12, 2022

We start off our first episode of 2022 with a whole lot of sadness as we pay tribute to the greats we lost including Betty White, Sir Sidney Poitier, and Bob Saget. We then flip the tone all the way by getting into Kanye West’s extremely real and organic love with Julia Fox. And I […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 151 – Our Top 10 Stories Of 2021! Dec 15, 2021

In our last episode of the year, Allison and I skip through a very uneventful 2021 (HA!) and wade through the foolery to countdown what we think are the top celebrity stories of the year. We bring back the memories of (and this is in no particular order) Hilaria Baldwin’s Spanish ESCANDALO, Nicki Minaj claiming […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 150 – What Would Karl Say? Dec 08, 2021

Yes, we talk about the Chanel advent calendar drama and wonder if Kunty Karl is cackling in the afterworld over the greedy grinchess of it all. But before we talk about that, we cover Alec Baldwin’s interview about the Rust shooting, and Meghan Markle’s latest win against one of her arch rivals The Mail on […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 149 – I Drink Your Millionth Milkshake! Dec 01, 2021

And in this episode, we pay tribute to the early-aughts jewel that was Millions of Milkshakes AKA the place to be for every celebrity and fame whore to get a milkshake and some attention. But before our ode to that milky early-aughts wonderland, we talk about the newest book that claims Prince Charles is the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 148 – Thanksney Nov 17, 2021

We, of course, start with #BRITNEYFREED and what’s next for Britney Spears (and the other Spearses) now her conservatorship has been tossed in the gutter. We also get into THE QUEEN’s health woes, and since it’s Thanksgivingtimes and we love talking about food almost as much as we love shoving food in our eatin’ holes, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 147 – Grasping At Straws, Homie Nov 12, 2021

While defending her man Aaron Rodgers, Shailene Woodley let us know that she loves the phrase “grasping at straws” and is also a 12-year-old boy from the 90s thanks to her using “bruh” and “homie.” But before we make fun of Shailene and Aaron, we talk about the horrible Astroworld tragedy and Travis Scott’s history […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 146 – Mouth Full Of Cox Nov 03, 2021

In this episode, we get into future winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race’s Reading Challenge, Brian Cox, talking shit about some movie actors including Steven Seagal and Johnny Depp. We also talk about the messy situation between Zayn Malik and Yolanda Hadid, and the 33-year-old dude who claims to have saved tons of money from mainly […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 145 – Olivia, Newton, And John Oct 27, 2021

We start this episode by covering the tragic death of Halyna Hutchins on the set of the Alec Baldwin movie, Rust, and all of the many red flags that popped up before the accident. We also head on over to ESCANDALOville to talk about the rumor of John Mulaney quitting Olivia Munn’s ass while she’s […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 144 – Sad Earworms Oct 20, 2021

The sound of Adele yodeling out, “EeeeeeEEEEeeeeeaasy,” is stuck in the deepest parts of our brain after listening to her newest single. But before Allison and I talk about the return of Kleenex’s favorite artiste, we talk about the totally subtle and private engagement of Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, and how their exes are […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 143 – All ‘Bout That Poop, ‘Bout That Poop Oct 13, 2021

In this episode, we go from our usual shit talking to talking about literal shit thanks to Meghan Trainor admitting that she and her husband Daryl Sabara have side-by-side toilets where they have caca’d next to each other at least once. But before our toilet talk, we get into The Hollywood Reporter’s mysterious unvaccinated movie […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 142 – Soaking 101 Oct 06, 2021

Because Allison and I are innocent chaste daffodils, we had never heard of “soaking” (a Mormon “non-sex” sex act that went viral again last week), so we soak our brains into “soaking” for a bit. But before that, we talk about Britney Spears getting one step closer to #FreeBritney and the standing ovation refusal that […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 141 – Ikea Table Talk Sep 29, 2021

Allison and I do the no-budget version of Red Table Talk by talking about open marriages after getting into how Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have one. But before we get into that, we talk about Linda Evangelista’s $50 million lawsuit against the CoolSculpting people for allegedly leaving her “disfigured.” We also ask a highly […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 140 – LulaNO Sep 22, 2021

Like every other living thing in the land, Allison and I slipped into a pair of torn-up hamburger vagina leggings to watch Amazon’s LuluRoe docu-series LulaRich and we have thoughts. But before that, we talk about all things Emmys (including RITA WILSON), the continuing saga of Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls, and John Waters […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 139 – Scenes From A 90s Mall Sep 15, 2021

We’re baaaaaaaack like two bitchy poltergeists who live to trash talk. We cover three of the biggest events of the past week: the MTV VMAs (yes, the year is 2021 and the VMAs still happen), the Met Gala, and Britney Spears’ hitchin’ finger getting decorated with an engagement ring. We talk about the star of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 138 – Celebritney! Aug 18, 2021

Britney Spears has inched one teeny tiny step closer to living her #FreeBritney dreams after her dad/co-conservator, Jamie Spears, said he’s “willing” to step away as the keeper of her money when the time is right and he also spat at Britney’s mom while teasing his walk to the exit door. After talking about that, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 136 – The Great Celebrity Bathing Debate Aug 11, 2021

Since every celebrity has to come out and tell us if they’ve got a Pig Pen cloud of fumes wafting off of their asses or not, we get into all the celebrities telling us their bathing habits from the ones (see: Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard, and Jake Gyllenhaal) who don’t clean that often to the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 135 – You Better Munch Bitch Aug 04, 2021

After an interview came out where it sounded like Matt Damon barely learned that the homophobic f-word slur is not something that should leap off his tongue, he clarified, saying that of course, he has known that’s a word he shouldn’t say and he has never ever said it. We talk about that. And then […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 134 – Don’t Be Fooled By The Paps That I Called Jul 28, 2021

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck finally granted the wish of many by recreating the Jenny From The Block yacht scene while vacationing in the South of France. Yup, Bennifer even works while on vacation. We talk about that as well as JLo ugh-ing at Ben’s giant back tattoo in 2016, and Alex Rodriguez going to […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 133 – PS RED!!!!! Jul 21, 2021

If you’ve got your Ph.D. in all things Britney Spears, then you know that the title of this episode references a little dig that Britney made toward Jamie Lynn Spears. We get into the passive-aggressive Instagram fight between Britney and her little sister. Allison then tells us about Chrissy Teigen crying out a stream of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 132 – The Queen VS The Child Jul 15, 2021

As noted in the last episode, this week is sadly Michael K-less, but thankfully Dlisted writer and previous Dlisted: The Podcast guest co-host Mieka kindly agreed to jump in and talk about the 2021 Emmy nominations. Which would explain that title (don’t worry, Queen Elizabeth hasn’t been fighting children). The Queen and child in question […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 131 – Britney Wants To #FreeBritney Jun 30, 2021

In case you couldn’t tell from that title, we spend approximately 964 years covering some of the history of Britney Spears’ 13-year-long conservatorship, as well as her speaking up in court to say that she’s been working, bitch, her whole life, is sick of making money for her father, and wants to be free of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 130 – The Other Broad Abroad Jun 23, 2021

We start with returning to the Chrissy Teigen saga because that drama never ends. We cover the harassment accusations that hit Michael Costello after he accused Chrissy Teigen of trying to destroy his career. Chrissy also claimed that Michael pulled some fakery to smear her, so we get into that too. We then talk about […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 129 – It’s Not Cookie Time For Everyone Jun 16, 2021

We start by going over the rise and fall of Twitter’s former sweetheart, Chrissy Teigen, and her two apologies as well as fashion designer Michael Costello claiming that she tried to destroy him. From there, Allison gives us an update on the revival of Bennifer including their totally private kiss in front of the paps […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 128 – Just A Lilibet Jun 09, 2021

In case you couldn’t tell by that totally original pun, we start this episode by talking about the birth of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s daughter and we dissect the name, which leads me to busting out some Mambo No. 5. Once we get into all things Lilibet Diana (which is not a lot since […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 127 – Dear Elder Hansen May 26, 2021

WARNING: You may get a case of the heaves while listening to the first part of this episode because we talk about Kevin Spacey trying to make a comeback by doing a small role in an Italian movie. From there, we talk about Ben Platt slapping at the “randos” who think he looks more like […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 126 – Insert DakotaJohnsonCackling.GIF May 19, 2021

While talking about Ellen DeGeneres leaving her talk show, Allison and I somehow get into name-checking Canadian celebrities like Hilary from Love It or List It (Hey, at least Hilary gets a shout out in this one). After we talk about Ellen claiming that some kind of diabolical mastermind is behind the takedown of her […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 125 – Whip Out Your Von Dutch Hat! It Really Is 2003 Again May 12, 2021

Just last week we were talking about how Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were hanging out. Well, what a difference a week and two hard-working PR teams make, because it looks like the encore performance of Bennifer 1.0 is upon us. After we talk about Bennifer’s romantic trip to Montana, we talk about the collapse […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 124 – Everything In Hollywood Is Rebooted Eventually May 05, 2021

Allison and I slip into our off-brand Juicy Couture and slap on our rhinestone butterfly “tattoos” to go back to the early-aughts to talk about the first rise and fall of Bennifer 1.0, and then we talk about the possible return of the original Bennifer. From there, we give completely opposite reactions to Ben Affleck […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 123 – Hey, At Least They Played The Song From “Mannequin” Apr 28, 2021

Allison and I start by slathering this year’s Oscar ceremony with nothing but praise and love (read: the opposite of that) and we cover everything from the overall feeling of the show to the ratings being in the gutter to Youn Yuh-jung getting asked what Brad Pitt smells like to producers making Best Actor the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 122 – FroyoGate Apr 21, 2021

Of course, we get into the randomness of Demi Lovato choosing to die on a froyo hill over a yogurt place selling sugar-free cookies. We then talk about the backlash over Netflix giving Colton Underwood (aka The Bachelor who was a virgin) a reality show about his coming out after he stalked his ex-girlfriend. And […]

Dlisted, The Podcast: Episode 121 – Starfish Titty Apr 14, 2021

We start with Kerry Washington getting dragged on Twitter for her tweet about Prince Philip and DMX. From there, Allison and I wrap ourselves in a pashmina since we can already feel the chilliness in the air between Prince Harry and Prince William at Prince Philip’s funeral. And it’s been 17 years since Janet Jackson’s […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 120 – REEFER MADNESS!!!!!! Apr 07, 2021

Kate Winslet recently talked about homophobia in Hollywood and how she knows several gay actors who are too afraid to come out, so Allison and I talk about that. And then we put on our masks so we don’t inhale the crazy as we cover Newsmax’s Greg Kelly warning people about the (cue dramatic music) […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 119 – How Very Jennerous Mar 24, 2021

It took us a minute, but we’re finally covering the “Sharon Is NOT Carin‘” moment on The Talk where Sharon Osbourne lost it while talking about Piers Morgan with Sheryl Underwood. We also talk about the aftermath of that mess before moving on to Kylie Jenner getting called out for being a cheap ass and […]

Dlisted, The Podcast – Episode 118 – Think Of The Frozen Foods!!! Mar 17, 2021

We start by getting into GRAMMYS! GRAMMYS! GRAMMYS! from all the maskless hugging to Beyonce’s record-breaking wins to Billie Eilish giving her award (not really) to Megan Thee Stallion to Allison calling out the lighting designer of Taylor Swift’s performance. From there, we talk about the Oscar nominations and we’re obviously putting all our money […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 117 – We’ll Always Have FroYo Mar 10, 2021

Since every single little piece of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s interview with Oprah hasn’t been covered to death, we cover Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s interview with Oprah but only so I can say the words: Humphrey Yogart. We also talk about Buckingham Palace’s response and Piers Morgan throwing a bratty asshole tantrum and […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 116 – Dirty Dognappers Mar 03, 2021

We start with talking about the glitch-filled clusterfuck that was the 2021 Golden Globes but give love to all the pooches who stole the show. From there, we get into two kidnapping sagas. The first involves the dognappers who snatched two of Lady Gaga’s dogs and shot her heroic dog walker Ryan Fischer for trying […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 115 – Elderly Tears Of Elderly Joy Feb 24, 2021

We first talk about Kim Kardashian knocking the world off its axis in shock (read: the opposite of that) by filing for divorce from Kanye West, and Kanye blaming the flop that was his presidential campaign for destroying his marriage forever. From there, we put on our berets and get into Emily in Paris bribing […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 114 – Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hairo? Feb 17, 2021

Allison outs herself as a future sci-future writer while we talk about the British tabloids’ reaction to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s announcement about her pregnancy. We keep talking about H&M by getting into their upcoming tell-all interview with The Mighty O. From there, we get into Justin Timberlake’s apology to Britney Spears and Janet […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 113 – Up With The Cardboard Cutout People Feb 10, 2021

We haven’t seen The New York Times documentary Framing Britney Spears, but that doesn’t stop us from talking about it (I know, we really are masters at research) including how the doc calls out Justin Timberlake, Diane Sawyer, and Brit’s dad Jamie Spears. We also mention Britney’s man Sam Asghari letting everyone know what a […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 112 – Sent From My iSpinach Feb 03, 2021

We keep an adorable puppy video palate cleanser on standby when we first start with the abuse allegations from Evan Rachel Wood and several other women against Marilyn Manson. Then Allison and I talk about the SoulCycle instructor who spun her ass into a COVID-19 vaccine drama by claiming she was a “teacher” to get […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 111 – Come In Brazil Jan 28, 2021

We first talk about Madonna’s 24-year-old daughter Lourdes Ciccone Leon blowing air kisses of love (read: the opposite of that) to her mother’s fans on Instagram, and from there, Allison meets her biggest challenge: saying Ioan Gruffudd’s name. We get into Ioan’s wife Alice Evans dragging him all over Twitter before a publicist got to […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 110 – Bye Bye BenAna Jan 20, 2021

Before we get into the crumbling of the kingdom of pure love known as BenAna, we cover the abuse allegations against Armie Hammer. And after we do that, we cleanse our brains by pouring bleach into our ear holes, and then we get into the weird story about Jamie Lynn Spears accusing Tesla of being […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 109 – KimYe’s DivorceYe Jan 13, 2021

We spend way too long (read: longer than a minute) talking all about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s divorce rumors and guessing which Judge will become Kim’s fourth husband. From there, we talk about Karlie Kloss revealing that Ivanka Trump has feelings by hurting them, and some 90s gossip involving Luther Vandross, En Vogue, and […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 108 – Hilarity Ensues Jan 06, 2021

Meanwhile, ten years later, we finally get into the Hillary/Hilaria escándalo and talk all about Hillary Hayward-Thomas’ transformation into Hilaria Baldwin, and because this is Dlisted, we somehow end up talking about Shrek’s dick. Because why not? We also talk about the sad and weird mix-up in the death of Tanya Roberts. And we quickly say […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 107 – Our Top 10 Stories Of 2020 (With Very Special Guest Mieka!) Dec 17, 2020

Mieka graciously joins Allison and me on our stumble through the charred mess that was 2020 to countdown our top 10 stories of 2020. We get into everything from Wannabe President Kanye to SUSSEXODUS (yes, that happened this year, this year has been 10 centuries long) to Harvey Weinstein becoming Convicted Rapist Harvey Weinstein to […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 106 – First Stop On Olivia Jade’s Redemption Tour Dec 09, 2020

In case you didn’t figure it out from the title of this episode, Allison and I pull up a chair in front of the first stop on Olivia Jade’s tour of redemption: Red Table Talk. We first get into Olivia visiting the Red Table to serve up an apology and a side of remorse, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 105 – Ooooh, I’m Blinded By The Snub Dec 02, 2020

Whether or not Saturday and Sunday are considered actual days of the week somehow comes up while Allison and I talk about how The Weeknd was snubbed by the Grammys. And after we get into the Grammys drama (also featuring Drake, Nicki Minaj, Halsey, and Justin Bieber), we get into British TV director Tristram Shapeero […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 104 – Another Day For You And Me In Messy Ex Hell Nov 18, 2020

Phil Collins’ messy fight over his Miami Beach mansion with his ex-wife is what Allison and I dive into first. And once we get out of that foolery, we dive into more messiness courtesy of Justin Bieber’s one-time spiritual adviser Pastor Carl Lentz getting dumped from Hillsong for passing his peen to someone who wasn’t […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 103 – Old Asses Oct 28, 2020

Because we hate ourselves, we spend way too long (read: more than a millisecond) talking about Rudy Giuliani’s crotch while getting into the Borat sequel. After we dip into that dark-sidedness, we talk about the latest layer of messy in the Lily James/Dominic West affair, and bring Armie Hammer into it. And we answer the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 102 – HoMan Holiday Oct 21, 2020

On this mini-episode, we start with the cheating saga between Dominic West, Catherine FitzGerald, and Lily James, and for the listener, it turns into a pun nightmare for your ears. After we get into the alleged wandering peen antics of Dominic West, we get into the fapping peen antics of Jeffrey Toobin who was suspended […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 101 – As Jenny McCarthy Cries Tears Of Betrayal Oct 07, 2020

If this podcast had a budget that was above zero dollars, I’d play Push It at the beginning of this episode, because we start by talking about the new movies that have been pushed into a release date in the future because of goddamn coronavirus, and that leads to Allison telling me about her special […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 100 – Eating Burger King Fries In Peace Sep 30, 2020

We made it to our 100th episode! Thanks to everyone who has tainted their ears with our foolery. And we don’t have a budget to celebrate with cake but we celebrate by talking about Mariah Carey’s memoirs, where she gets into Tommy Mottola getting mad that she went to Burger King with Da Brat, her […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 99 – Nose Swabbing At The Emmys Sep 23, 2020

At the top of this episode, Allison and I plunge into the COVID-19-era Emmys complete with awkward skits, presenters in Hazmat tuxedos, the Schitt’s Creek cast living it up at Casa Loma, and Jason Sudeikis getting a fake corona test on camera. We also talk about Wayne Lineker (which is pronounced: WHO?!) looking for love […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 98 – Dick Pics, Dickmatization, And Wandering Dicks Sep 16, 2020

Nearly every episode of this mess of a podcast hugs its arms around the theme of dick, but we really do it with this one by first talking about Chris Evans’ dick slip that brought down the internet.Then we get into Katie Holmes getting with a dude who may or may not have dumped his […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 97 – Masking Out At The MTV VMAs Sep 02, 2020

If you’ve ever wanted to hear two old hos get into what the kids are up to, your dreams have come true, because Allison and I talk about this year’s socially distanced MTV VMAs from Lady Gaga going mask crazy to me actually praising Miley Cyrus. From there, we talk about Brad Pitt’s new skandalös […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 96 – Charlotte’s Web Of Messiness Aug 26, 2020

Yes, Kimmy Gibbler gets name-dropped again in this episode while Allison and I talk about Lori Loughlin and Mossimo going to prison (and yes, dropping Kimmy Gibbler’s name is the only reason why we chose to lead with this story). After that, we get into Charlotte Kirk, the actress who helped bring down two Hollywood […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 95 – Sixteen Porcelain Thrones Aug 19, 2020

We start with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s move to a cute, little shack in Montecito full of sixteen pots to piss in, and we also turn into a home financing podcast by figuring out their monthly mortgage payment. We then talk about Olivia Munn stamping an F- on the sex report card of an […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 94 – K-Y Jelly Not Needed Aug 12, 2020

Allison and I devote the first part of this episode to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s musical threat to K-Y Jelly known as WAP, and we get into the backlash from pearl-clutching conservatives and the backlash over Kylie Jenner being in the video. From there, we cover a handful of the sixteen thousand excerpts […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 93 – HELLen on Earth Aug 05, 2020

Allison and I start off this episode by talking about Ellen DeGeneres’ “Be Kind” facade cracking under the weight of all of the allegations that working for her sucks, and that leads us to talk about the daytime reality masterpiece Starting Over. We also talk about Ryan Reynolds apologizing for getting married to Blake Lively […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 92 – Nipple Clamps On My Boat Jul 29, 2020

In this one, we talk all about the Emmy nominations from Leslie Jones and Laverne Cox’s awkward moment to Baby Yoda getting snubbed to Reese Witherspoon getting locked out of an acting nomination to Allison praising the face-acting skills of Tobias Menzies. We then get into Natalie Maines calling out her ex on Gaslighter and […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 91 – SECRETS! Jul 22, 2020

We start with Kanye West’s Twitter spree and Dave Chappelle dropping everything to go to Wyoming to check on him. We then talk about the SECRET baby of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel and the timing of it all. We also get into Princess Beatrice’s SECRET wedding, Dennis Quaid’s mind blowing over Lindsay Lohan not […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 90 – Untangling The Entanglement Jul 15, 2020

We start the episode by taking a healing journey into the healing journey that Jada Pinkett-Smith took when she had an entanglement with August Alsina while she and Will Smith were on a break. We leave the Red Table and then get into Kanye 2020 and cow farts! We also talk about Brooklyn Beckham getting […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 89 – RandoNoThankYou Jul 01, 2020

Allison and I start with covering the creepy fuckery that the “adventure” app Randonautica has brought. After we leave that horror movie, we talk about CHAIRGATE involving Christopher Nolan and Anne Hathaway before getting into the viral story of the man who got mad at a restaurant for making his wife wait 18 minutes for […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 88 – In Praise Of The Himbo Jun 24, 2020

While sitting in saunas (because we both kept our windows closed and A/C off so shit wouldn’t be noisy), Allison and I first wrap our melted brains around K-Pop stans and TikTok teens pranking Trump. From there we get into Winona Ryder calling out Mel Gibson for acting like Mel Gibson and giving love to […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 87 – MORON-ey Jun 17, 2020

We are late as hell with covering the Lea Michele saga and how after Samantha Ware called her out, everyone came out to declare her a horror show. But we do it, and after we do that, we keep with the theme going by getting into Canadian influencer Sasha Exeter calling out Meghan Markle’s Canadian […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 86 – Row, Row, Row Your Boat Directly To Prison May 27, 2020

Aunt Becky and Mossimo are going to prison (probably… maybe) and Allison and I get into that plate of schadenfreude before we talk about Lana Del Rey working Instagram’s servers to the bone by posting video after video about women in music and the backlash she got for pretty much only singling out women of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 85 – We’ll Always Have Their Cigarette Wedding May 20, 2020

LOVE IS DEAD is the theme of this episode. Because we start with the fall of Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green’s marriage before pouring one out (“one” being an ashtray full of cigarette butts) for the end of Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy’s marriage. We also cover Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix making a […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 84 – A Vintage Spoonful Of Salty May 13, 2020

FEUDS is the theme of this episode. Allison and I first get into the other Alison (New York Times writer and cookbook author Alison Roman) dragging Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo for being greedy sellouts. And from there we slide into the one-sided feud between Something Borrowed author Emily Giffin and Meghan “How Dare She […]

Dlisted, The Podcast: Episode 83 – 867-5309/Musk May 06, 2020

Allison and I immediately get into Elon Musk and Grimes naming their baby son X Æ A-12. We talk about the theories on what the name means and also rank it among the other messed up celebrity kid names in The Messed Up Celebrity Kid Names Hall of Fame. We also talk about Alfonso Merlos, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 82 – Beach Blath Apr 29, 2020

Typo, courtesy of our Allison’s mouth! We, of course, get into Cristina Cuomo’s coronavirus bleach bath cure, and if we marinated our mouths in a bleach bath, we might be able to say bleach bath. But before we talk about Cristina Cuomo out-GOOP-ing Goopy, we cover the messy divorce that may go down between Kristin Cavallari […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 81 – Come On And Zoom, Zoom, Zooma-Zoom (Zoom Zoom)! Apr 22, 2020

At the top of this episode, Allison and I give a little tribute to the legendary Zoom Zoom Zoom commercials from Mazda as well as the PBS spectacular Zoom, and we do it before talking about the current life of Zoom from Zoom weddings to Zoom break-ups to Zoom sex parties. After that, Allison drags […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 80 – Happy Holly Dunday! Apr 15, 2020

Since Allison and I live out a Fifth Harmony song (Work From Home) every day, we talk about Marie Kondo’s tips for working from home and also give our own tips, which yes, involve starting an office fight between the desk lamp and a ficus tree. We also get into Florence Pugh’s anti-troll sermon about […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 79 – Beyond The Buttholes Apr 08, 2020

The month is April. The year is 2020, and we’re still talking about Cats, specifically the pussy buttholes of Cats, and specifically specifically The Daily Beast’s new article about how director Tom Hooper allegedly treated VFX artists like litter-covered cat turds and nearly worked them into a grave. But before we talk about the buttholes […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 78 – Carolina Herrera!!!!! Apr 01, 2020

First of all, thanks to all who sent well wishes to my dog who was in a state of woe last week. Allison and I talk about that a bit at the top of this episode, and then we get into Life In Lockdown (not a WE tv show) before we talk about Prince Harry […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 77 – MASH It up Mar 18, 2020

On this episode, where my mouth is drunker than usual (see: me saying “intercept” instead of “intersect“), Allison and I mainly talk about the reason why we are all staying our asses inside. We talk about Chet Haze keeping us up to date on the health status of coronavirus patients Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 76 – The Gold Goblets Of Doom Mar 11, 2020

The main part of this episode is devoted to reality TV messiness. Allison and I first spend 20 minutes (which is 1,893,999 minutes in podcast time) talking about the trashy train wreck that was Love Is Blind, and we talk about it from beginning to end, including Jessica’s sexy baby voice and the damn gold […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 75 – Just Meghan™ Mar 04, 2020

Meghan Markel: The Movie Superhero Star is what we get into first, and from there we also talk about Meghan possibly (but probably not) slumming it at the Met Gala and Canada refusing to pay their security after March 31. From there, we slide into Dlisted’s medical segment (which makes sense since we’re both medical […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 74 – And Guilty Of Stunt Queen-ing Feb 26, 2020

Allison is back from her short vacation, and she immediately floods her cleansed and refreshed mind with smegma by talking about Harvey Weinstein, including his rape conviction, his walker dramatics, and the brain-destroying image of his down low area. From there, we talk about Pete Davidson’s long ass interview with Charlamagne tha God where he […]

Dlisted, The Podcast: Episode 73 – Oscars So Parasite Feb 11, 2020

Because Barbara Walters no longer does an Oscars special and someone has to, we did an Oscars special. Allison and I start with praise for Parasite, and then we shit-talk the rest of the ceremony from the speeches to the opening to Eminem’s performance to the producers giving Randy Newman a shitty ass set. We […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 72 – The Miss Cleos Of The Oscars Are Back! Feb 05, 2020

After skipping last week due to *in a serious publicist voice* scheduling conflicts, we’re back to make your ears go, “Why are you doing this to me?” Allison and I start with talking about the Super Bowl (sans that football stuff), and then we let the spirit of Miss Cleo fill us again by guessing […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 71 – The Rebooting Of Jennifer Aniston And Brad Pitt Jan 22, 2020

On the last episode, my nosy suburban dad jumped out and I wondered why people park in front of a house that isn’t theirs when they’ve got space, and we got a lot of feedback, so we spend way too much time (read: more than a minute) going over all the theories. We then say […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 70 – Sufferin’ Sussexes Jan 15, 2020

Because Allison and I are extremely timely, we brain burp up about Sussexodus, a week after it started, and also get into everything that happened then to now. From there we get into the Oscar nominations including Allison’s plan to pretty much picket the ceremony in defense of JLo getting snubbed. We also ask a […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 69 – We Made It To 69! Jan 08, 2020

After gorging our mouths with candy and our brains with the CGI’d faces in The Irishman during the holidays, Allison and I are back with out very important 69th episode! We start with getting into everything we watched during our break including The IwishIwasntWatchingThisMan, Cats, and Don’t Fuck With Cats. From there, we give our […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 68 – Farewell, 2010s Dec 19, 2019

On this Hammaconda-sized episode (listen, 80 minutes is Hammaconda-sized to us), Allison and I follow-up our last episode, which was a rundown of 2019, by stumbling through the rest of the decade. We cover the biggest marriages, break-ups, and celebrity deaths of each year. We also wrap our brains around some of the biggest stories […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 67 – Our Top Stories Of 2019! Dec 11, 2019

With 2019 coming to an end (time flies when shit is always messy), Allison and I countdown our top eight stories of the year from the Prince Andrew scandal to the Jussie Smollett scandal to the College Admissions scandal to a shocking John Travolta SCANDAL. And we end with proving that we’re bona fide psychic […]

Dlisted: The Podcast – This Is Not An Episode (Blame My Back) Dec 04, 2019

Old age fucked my back up, so I’m taking this week off to get it together, and we’ll hopefully be back with a new episode next week. And yes, when I record an unedited episode without Allison, I suddenly sound like I’m whispering in a gas station bathroom.

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 66 – Goop, Sweat & Farts Nov 20, 2019

Because Allison and I love it when our skin crawls off of our body, we break down the Prince Andrew train wreck of an interview with the BBC including the part where he claims he had a condition that temporarily took away his ability to sweat (and yes, I know I butchered the ever-loving hell […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, 65 – More Like “T.M.I.” Nov 13, 2019

Because the world hasn’t talked enough about T.I. checking up on his daughter’s hymen, we talk about T.I. checking up on his daughter’s hymen. We also talk about Ric Ocasek’s petty move from the grave, David Chang’s conspiracy theory on why In-N-Out’s fries are like that, and the internet’s stories about what was the most […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 64 – The Day The Earth Stood Still Over Keanu Reeves Dating Someone Around His Age Nov 06, 2019

The internet broke in two from Keanu Reeves being seen holding hands with someone who wasn’t a 20-year-old bikini model. After Allison and I talk about that, we get into Emma Watson giving us her own personal “conscious uncoupling,” and discuss when is the right time to start celebrating International Mariah Carey Day (aka Christmas). […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 63 – What In The Hell Kind Of GD Haunted House Is This? Oct 30, 2019

Because this is our Halloween episode, Allison and I give last-minute costume ideas that will only require you to get the Bible and BLOOD! But before we do that, we talk about R&B singer Tank schooling everyone on how sucking a dick doesn’t make you gay, the holy stream of foolery that has poured out […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 62 – Brown Hole Sun Oct 23, 2019

Allison and I dive straight into the bowl of stupidity that Miley Cyrus spewed out when telling her Instagram followers that they don’t need to be gay because not all guys are evil. After we put back together whatever is left of our brains from listening to Miley’s love advice, we talk about Jaime Pressly […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 61 – Scat Empress Oct 16, 2019

This podcast is usually shit, but we really get into shit thanks to Jonathan Van Ness being the new spokesbutt of Poo-Pourri. But before we go there, we talk about the WAG Wars that have made me miss Footballers Wives, Jeremy Renner’s ex-wife threatening to expose his nudes, and The National Enquirer trying to get nudes […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 60 – George Washington Wigs Oct 09, 2019

Allison and I start by covering Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan suing EVERY BRITISH TABLOID EVER (okay, like three of them, or so) and that leads us to getting into a topic that really intrigues us: the old-time fluffy white wigs the barristers wear in court. From there, we talk about Justin and Hailey Bieber’s […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 59 – (Muh Muh Muh Muh) Joker Face Oct 02, 2019

Allison and I start with the non-celebrity, but very damn fascinating, saga of the American couple who claim that the little Ukrainian girl they adopted was really an adult psychopath who was out to murder them. Once we spend approximately 10 hours (or around 15 minutes, which is 10 hours in Dlisted: The Podcast time) […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 58 – Beautifully Basic Buffet Sep 25, 2019

We start this episode by getting into a gorgeous song that has lived in my brain for a million years. And after I pay tribute to the Food Network Star goddess that is Lisa Garza, we talk about how well we did with our Emmy guesses (SPOILER ALERT: not that well), the Michelle Williams/Michelle Williams […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 57 – Ruh Roh Sep 18, 2019

Being the highly esteemed film critics that we are, Allison and I start this episode by reviewing Hustlers down to whether or not it had enough soft dick in it. From there, we talk about Felicity Huffman getting a tear drop tattoo while spending 14 days in jail, and Shane Gillis getting the Guinness World […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 56 – Britney Spears, Furries, Cat Washes, Oh My! Sep 11, 2019

We get right into Britney Spears’ newest conservatorship situation including Daddy Spears going crazy on her son and her new custody agreement with KFed, which leads to me telling a truly embarrassing KFed story. After that, we talk about Lana Del Rey becoming furry enemy #1 and Zazie Beetz rebooting “whore bath” as “cat wash” […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 55 – Dance, George, Dance! Aug 28, 2019

Allison and I share our childhood dance dreams while talking about Lara Spencer making fun of 6-year-old Prince George liking ballet. But before we badly twirl over to that subject, we dive into the MTV VMAs and cover Missy Elliott owning the show, John Travolta giving us the sequel to Adele Dazeem, Miley Cyrus’ wet […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 54 – Finally Some Real News (AKA The Chicken Sandwich Wars) Aug 21, 2019

This episode is a tad shorter than usual, because it’s my dog’s birthday, and I have to fulfill my contract as a human with a dog by humiliating him with a hat on his head, a HO-made ugly dog cake in his face, and a butchered version of Happy Birthday in his ears. But in […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 53 – Well, Miley Did Tell Us That She Can’t Be Tamed Aug 14, 2019

It’s our one anniversary from the day we sent you screaming to urgent care with a case of genital warts of the ear holes from listening to us. After we celebrate that, we talk about the fact that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth didn’t make it to their one year wedding anniversary. We also get […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 52 – Lindsay Of Arabia Aug 07, 2019

Allison and I use up whatever is left of our minds by trying to wrap it around the WTF union of Lindsay Lohan and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. Once we unwrap whatever is left of our minds from that pillar of bizarre, we talk about Mario Lopez’s mouth getting him in trouble for […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 51 – Hung Milk Jul 31, 2019

Professor Allison educates myself and other not-knowing-about-milk-bags Americans about bags of milk after a reader asks her to explain it. But before Allison delivers a quick history of bolso leche, we talk about Armie Hammer and that toe sucking video, Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry’s neighbors being told not to pet their dog, and the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 50 – High On A Stuffed Cheesy Bites Pizza Jul 24, 2019

This episode is sponsored (for free) by Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Cheesy Bits Pizza, because that’s what Allison ate before we recorded and it gave her a chemical high that made her hallucinate the image she paints when we talked about the meth gators of Tennessee being a joke. But before that, we talk the Cats […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 49 – It’s A ScarJo World After All Jul 17, 2019

It’s all about the Emmys for the first part of this episode, and Allison and I start off with slandering Game of Thrones left and right (so plug your ears GoT nerds) and then we end with Allison cooing out an ode to Ripped Mac from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. After our Emmys coverage, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 48 – What Size You Got? Jul 10, 2019

Allison and I butchered the pronunciation of Versailles, Kentucky in the last episode, so we right that wrong at the beginning of the episode. Once we ask for penance from Kentuckians, we talk about the dumb racist backlash of Halle Bailey getting cast as Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid, Meghan McCain’s possible exit […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 47 – Allison The American Citizen? Jul 03, 2019

We commemorate the born day of America with a little test, a test that I would totally get an F- at. I ask Allison questions from The Naturalization Test to see if she has the knowledge needed to proclaim that she’s AN AMERICAN CITIZEN while getting arrested in Atlanta like Laura Jeanne Poon (aka Reese […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 46 – Whole Pic Jun 26, 2019

While talking about Whoopi Goldberg going full Whoopi Goldberg over taking and sending nude pics, Allison dips into the gutter with me by learning what a “hole pic” is. And after I taint Allison’s innocent mind, we talk about the demise of Lindsay Lohan as a Mykonos beach club mogul, foodie calls, and whether or […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 45 – The Rainbow Queen Of Gay Allies Jun 19, 2019

Taylor Swift’s transformation into GAY! icon leads this episode and after we dissect her big ole’ gay video that ends with two straight girls hugging (???), we talk about Jessica Biel pretty much coming out as an anti-vaxxer, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos getting caught boning by their 18-year-old daughter, and sandwich punching, which sounds […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 44 – It’s Called “Addicted To Love,” Dammit! Jun 12, 2019

Allison starts off by thanking everyone who sent her kind words about last week’s episode… and I somehow turn that into a quick conversation about dick pics (????). Once I drive a bittersweet moment into Inappropriate Lane, we give our thoughts about the Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk break-up, Gwyneth Paltrow being the Gandhi of […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 43 – When Trump Met The Queen (Again) Jun 05, 2019

Weeeeeeee’re back. At the beginning of this episode, Allison and I talk about the sad reason for why we were kept from terrorizing your ear holes for over two months. After that, we get into Trump terrorizing Britain, Jill Duggar terrorizing our senses with her sex tips, and Carnival Cruises terrorizing internal organs by delivering […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 42 – Another Day, Another Plot Twist In The Jussie Smollett Saga Mar 27, 2019

The 16 charges against Jussie Smollett have all been dropped, and while Allison and I talk about that, we of course get into the plight of the sewers and the environment thanks to baby wipes. Blame Terrence Howard, as usual. We also talk about Elisabeth Hasselbeck praying to god over Rosie O’Donnell having a crush […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 41 – Oh, Just A Story Nobody’s Heard About Mar 20, 2019

At the top of this episode, Allison and I deliver some truly BREAKING NEWS by getting into the saga of the college admissions scandal, because it’s not like we’re a week late on that. But we mostly talk about the scandal’s breakout star Olivia Jade. Then we take a sharp left onto Anti-Vaxx Blvd. by […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 40 – Bloody Maaaaaaaary Mar 12, 2019

Allison and I touched on Bloody Mary a bit in the last episode, and in this one, we get it into it more at the top. We throw down a CliffsNotes history of Bloody Mary, and I explain why I think we threw water on the mirror while trying to summon her (and no, not […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 39 – Trapped In A Bad Acting Class Mar 07, 2019

On this supersized episode (48 minutes is a lot for us, okay?), we start with paying tribute to Katherine Helmond, Keith Flint, and Luke Perry. The entire episode should really have been about them, but instead of doing that we laugh at Forbes calling Kylie Jenner a “self-made billionaire,” heave over R. Kelly’s overacting theatrics […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 38 – Farewell To CooGa Feb 27, 2019

Because of the Snow Miser, our Oscar recap episode is a day late. But also thanks to Snow Miser, Allison and I get to explore the riveting topic of tire chains and chain monkeys. It’s about as butch as we’re ever going to get. Then we spend a half an hour talking and bitching about […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 37 – Whorion Feb 20, 2019

If you happen to be an astrophysics or mathematics major, then this is the episode for you. Because you’ll definitely get credit for listening to Professor Allison and I get deep into math and astrology (including the correct pronunciation of “Orion“). We weave difficult math problems and astrology facts into stories about Jussie Smollett, Miranda Lambert’s […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 36 – The Not-So-Marvelous Mr. Markle Feb 15, 2019

February 15 is one of the greatest days of the year. It’s when Valentine’s Day candy is 50% off! After Allison and I talk about Red Friday and our thrilling Valentine’s Day plans, we score our Grammy predictions (SPOILER ALERT: we suck at predicting) before diving into a pool of foolery by talking about Thomas […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 35 – “The Middle” Of Hell Feb 08, 2019

A quick second into this episode, Allison and I slip on our Easy Spirit pumps and powerwalk through the racist revenge fantasy messiness created by Liam Neeson, and then we run through the WTFness that came out of Michelle Rodriguez’s mouth while defending him. Once we finish that, we talk about Justin Bieber and Hailey […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 34 – Girl Scout/Girl Guide Jan 29, 2019

On the last episode, my already-mangled tongue mangled the names of several Oscar nominees, so at this top of this show, I try to redeem myself by pronouncing their names right. Allison the mangles the hell out of my last name. Then we talk about the SAGs, which leads to Allison teaching me that “Girl […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 33 – Woe Is Bradley Cooper! Where’s Mister Rogers? And Other Oscar Nominations Talk Jan 23, 2019

After a 4,598 year hiatus (or a little over a month if you want to be specific about it), we are back with a third co-host. Allison delivered a human bundle of baby and she joins us for the first part of this episode. We got rid of her for the second part, because she […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 32 – Our Top Stories Of 2018! Dec 14, 2018

Since Allison is off to birth out a human, it’s our last episode of the year, and it’s a mega episode complete with tech problems on my end (YAY!). (And listen, a 43-minute episode is a mega one to us, because we’re lazy.) We countdown what we think are the top stories of 2018, ranging […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 31 – #Justice4OliviaTheDogFromWidows Dec 07, 2018

This is our final regular episode of the year, because Allison is about to give birth to our third co-host, who is definitely going to outdo us in the jokes and “making sense” department. But before then, we shove our faces deep into a plate of Golden Globes and talk about the nominations including how […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 30 – Lindsay Lohan Dents The Internet (Not Even) Dec 04, 2018

Paper Magazine’s latest “Break The Internet” issue stars Lindsay Lohan who talked about moving to Dubai to avoid paparazzi (HA!) and her family-friendly Mykonos beach club (HA!!). One thing she didn’t really talk about is the video of her trying to snatch a Syrian refugee child while speaking in a question mark-inducing accent. From there, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 29 – Enter Meghan Nov 30, 2018

“Thank God for Meghan Markle” are words that actually escape out of my mouth while Allison and I talk about how Duchess Meghan has pulled some “Alexis Carrington in season 2 of Dynasty” shit by injecting some much-needed drama into the usual boring British royal storylines. Other topics we get into include Leonardo DiCaprio bringing […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 28 – Dolce & Gabbana Struck Again Nov 27, 2018

Are Dolce & Gabbana the Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom of the fashion world and trying to sink their brand by spewing up racist and business-killing shit? This is a question Allison and I ponder while talking about the latest offensive dingle to trickle out of Stefano Gabbana’s mouth. We also get into Jameela Jamil wishing […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 27 – Death By Pre-Stuffed Turkey Nov 20, 2018

Allison declared her undying love for Butterball’s pre-stuffed turkey on our last episode, and that made some people cry, “SALMONELLA!” So we talk about the dos and don’ts of pre-stuffed turkey cooking (because we’re gourmet like that), and millennials supposedly pranking their parents with questions about nuking a turkey. But before we get into turkey […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 26 – How Will We Ever Trust Anyone Or Anything Again?! Nov 16, 2018

This episode starts off with a slow clap for Mariah Carey’s lambs getting Glitter to #1 on the iTunes charts, and once we do that, Allison and I sink down straight into the gutter by giving an embarrassing update (embarrassing because we should’ve seen it coming) on the story of the New Jersey couple who […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 25 – Models, Medicine, And The Fluids Of Michael C. Hall Nov 13, 2018

The American listeners who went hunting in supermarket aisles for Primo Pizza Squeeze and came up empty deserve an apology from me, so this episode starts off with that. Once I try to right that wrong, Allison and I talk about Victoria’s secret hatred of putting transgender and plus-size models in her fashion shows, Alicia […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 24 – What’s The Tea On Chamomile “Tea”? Nov 09, 2018

Tyler Henry and The Long Island Medium don’t have to quit the psychic game just yet, because Allison and I wrongly predicted who People would pick as their Sexiest Man Alive 2018. Once we weep about that (and slobber at the mouth over Idris Elba getting the title), we talk about the latest in the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 23 – An Eye For An Eye Nov 06, 2018

The beginning of this episode’s theme is EYES! I talk about my ongoing eye drama, and then Allison and I talk about Pete Davidson, whose ex-fiancee got pissed over a website saying he has butthole eyes, getting into trouble for making jokes about a Republican congressional candidate who lost his eye during battle. From there, […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 22 – It’s That Messy Time Of Year Oct 30, 2018

And by “messy time of year,” we of course mean Halloween. Allison and I talk about our Halloween costumes from the past, like her Yoko OnoYouDidnt get-up and my No Ass Mariah costume. We also get into The Onion-like story of Lena Dunham writing a movie about a Syrian refugee, Josh Duhamel needing to grow […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 21 – The Unsurprising Breakup Of Megyn Kelly And The Peacock Oct 26, 2018

After I take off my tinfoil hat (or “aluminum foil hat” as my dumbass calls it) about the lottery being rigged, Allison and I get neck deep in the blackface messiness that Megyn Kelly created for herself. Once we cleanse ourselves, we talk about how Jennifer Garner’s new boyfriend might be a robot, and we […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 20 – All Hail Granny Laurie Strode Oct 23, 2018

Allison and I both saw Halloween over the weekend, so we prove that we’re the new Siskel & Ebert (if Siskel & Ebert knew nothing about movies and had trash taste) by talking about it, rating it, and worshiping at the badass memaw feet of Laurie Strode. But before we do that, we get into […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 19 – Roseanne, Disney Princesses, And Grandpa Ash Cookies Oct 19, 2018

…..walk into a bar. At the tippity top of the episode, I beg the universe and ask Allison to please pray for me to win the Mega Millions and Power Ball lotteries. I promise to do good with the money by preserving art (read: buying the rights to The Golden Girls so nobody can reboot it) […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 18 – Waiting At The Lindo Wing Door Oct 16, 2018

One good thing this podcast has done for me is given me yet another platform where I can curse Duchess Meghan for getting to do Prince Hot Ginge on the regular. And I do that for a good chunk of this episode. Allison and I talk about the latest royal baby news. Then we get […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 17 – The Girls Are Fighting Oct 12, 2018

It’s a very special day today (and no, I’m not talking about Princess Eugenie’s wedding, but congrats, girl). It’s Allison birthday, and we should devote the entire episode to her, but we’ve got business to get into like Lana Del Rey vs. Azealia Banks, Kanye West visiting the Orange House, and the emotional support squirrel […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 16 – The Day Taylor Swift Invented Voting Oct 10, 2018

After skipping an episode because I nearly died (I just had food poisoning), Allison and I are back to talk about Taylor Swift pulling a Taylor Swift by endorsing Democrats right before the mid-terms after taking Red State money, Keira Knightley getting blacklisted from Buckingham Palace FOREVER, and the feel-good plot twist of the My […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 15 – A Double Dose Of Potent Foolery (AKA Kanye West And Lindsay Lohan) Oct 02, 2018

Just when I was beginning to think that Allison and I would have nothing from the weekend to talk shit about, a giant double train wreck happened. Kanye West went off the rails again, and the ginger Babadook that is Lindsay Lohan really went off the rails when she tried to snatch a child in […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 14 – SoundCloud Rappers Can’t Handle Their Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Sep 28, 2018

We once again become a gourmet food podcast by discussing Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, peanut butter and mayo sandwiches, and saltines with butter in one episode. Ina Garten wishes! Allison and I cover both Lil Xan’s stomach getting ripped apart by the food of Britney Spears, and the sound of heaves filling the internet over peanut […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 13 – Theroux-ing Up A Load Of Pretentiousness Sep 25, 2018

If your ears had eyes (ear eyeballs?) they may roll to and fro over Justin Theroux trying to be the most ironic-est hipster whoever ironic-ed. Allison and I pick apart Justin Theroux’s New York Times interview from his lying about never wearing shorts to him comparing Chinatown to a Britney Spears song. From there, we […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 12 – Chevy Desmond Sep 21, 2018

We recorded this on National Pepperoni Pizza Day, so it’s actually amazing that we didn’t take the day off to worship the pepperoni pizza. But after Allison and I pay tribute to the pepperoni pizza, we talk about Chevy Chase solidifying himself as Old Man Yells At Cloud, Alicia Silverstone considering having a baby with […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 11 – Why Weren’t The Emmys Just One Long Betty White Tribute? And Other Questions Sep 19, 2018

Another good question would be: Why isn’t this podcast episode just one long Betty White tribute? We do get into Betty White, but then we also talk about other Emmys stuff like Michael Che and Colin Jost’s hosting skills, the proposal that melted my heart for a millisecond, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (or Mrs. Measles […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 10 – Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Blondes Sep 14, 2018

We recorded this episode on September 13, the day of the New York primary election, so I start off with openly dreaming about Rojo Caliente (aka Cynthia Nixon’s wife) getting one step closer to becoming the First Lady of New York. (Don’t tell yesterday-me that my dream has been shattered!) After I go on a […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 9 – Cardi B, Abuelita-In-Training Sep 11, 2018

“Robitussin jizz” is a phrase I say during this episode, so yeah, this one deep dives into the gutter. But don’t they all? Before I brain burp up about Pfizer-produced spunk, Allison and I talk about the Harper’s Brawl-zaar between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, the dark underworld of the tiger keeper game, EGOTs, the […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 8 – Scrambled Yoni Eggs Sep 07, 2018

Beware! If nothing makes your ears curl like butchered Spanish, skip a couple of minutes into this episode, because Allison and I attempt to speak it. My abuelita and dead Spanish relatives are all rolling in their graves. Once Allison and I offend all Spanish speakers, we tackle Goop getting in trouble for their coochie […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 7 – The Curious Tale Of Coke-Dipped Chicken Fingers Sep 05, 2018

My dream of being able to make a Caroline In The City reference finally came true in this latest episode while talking about how Allison is also a highly-skilled artiste. Allison drew our faces for our podcast artwork, and after we agree that my cartoon face looks like George Takei holding in a fart and […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 6 – What Jimbo Saw Aug 31, 2018

If this episode had a theme, it’d be “dicks of all kinds.” But then again, isn’t that the theme of every one of our episodes? On this episode, Allison and I talk about Louis C.K. trying to make a comeback, the sad end of HBO’s sex education programming, and we also try to come up […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 5 – St. Angie, Interrupted Aug 28, 2018

At the top of this episode, I completely blow Allison’s mind by telling her the identity of the musical superstar legend who is responsible for our podcast theme song. After Allison picks up the pieces of her blown mind off the floor, we get into Page Six becoming the captain of Team Pitt, Ethan Hawke […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 4 – Not Sponsored By Jack In The Box Aug 24, 2018

That smug b-hole Jack from Jack In The Box is either going to hit us up with, “Keep my name out your filthy mouths,” or a thank you, depending on what his idea of good publicity is. Because Jack In The Box is the theme of our fourth episode. It first comes up when Allison […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 3 – Hasn’t Aretha Franklin Been Through Enough?! Aug 22, 2018

Since Allison and I love our games (those damn games), we start off our third episode with an MTV VMAs-themed game before wrapping our brains around the show including getting into Madonna summoning a side-eye from Queen Aretha, The Hills revival, and which Backstreet Boy we want to hump on the most. Allison also teaches […]

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 2 – Ooooooh-marosa Aug 17, 2018

On this, our second episode, I confess that I hate the sound of my voice, but yet also say I love my gay voice (don’t ever accuse me of making sense,) and then Allison and I wrap whatever is left of our brains around the never-ending Brangelina divorce saga, Omarosa dropping tape after tape, the […]

After A Zillion Years, The First Episode Of The Dlisted Podcast Has Arrived Aug 15, 2018

It was 4,983,984 in internet years (which is last summer in regular years) when I said that a Dlisted podcast was making its way through the gutters of my brain and would be out soon. Well, my definition of soon is “over a year,” but better late than never. (“Um, Michael, you should’ve stuck with […]

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