Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew

27: Resource- Tamar Burris Nov 05, 2023

Tamar Burris is an author, divorce coach, and co-parenting concierge. Her tagline is, "co-parent without blame, shame, or games."

In this episode we talk about how she decided to write a children's book called,A New Special Friend to help kids comprehend when parents start dating new people. We also discuss how she co-parents her son and what strategies she uses to stay sane, and not live in guilt or shame. This includes very practical tips as well!

Topics we discuss:

-how to do transition days well

-how to stop blaming yourself and actually live into the freedom of divorce

-her book and the inspiration behind it

-how to understand the kid's perspective better

Where to find Tamar:

Instagram

Website

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Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by ⁠Cameron Tarvin

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26: Resilience and Renewal: A Family's Journey Through Co-Parenting Oct 31, 2023

This episode is the FIRST OF ITS KIND! I interviewed a divorced couple, now remarried to others, along with their daughter. Julianna Smeltzer is the daughter, and I met her in college. I was always fascinated by the way she talked about her family. She would say, "My Moms and Dads are coming to watch me perform!" I thought to myself... what? Their blended family seemed too healthy to be real! I couldn't believe it. Listen in and hear how this couple, Geoff Comstock and Dana Comstock-Benzick, decided to choose what was best for their kids and their relationship post-divorce.

Topics we discuss:

How they decided to have a close co-parenting relationship
Advice they have for parents trying to co-parent well
Julianna gives input on what the experience was like growing up with stepparents and parents all supporting her

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Music by ⁠Cameron Tarvin

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25: Resource- Divorce Doesn't Suck (Wendy Sloane) Oct 15, 2023

Hi everyone! Welcome to Season 2 of this podcast. I can't believe we are here. Thank you for your continued support♥️

In this episode I interview Wendy Sloane. She is a mom of two and hosts her own divorce podcast. Her divorce process was long and full of being dragged back to court for financial issues. In this episode she reads a two different letters that her daughter and her daughter's friend wrote about how they feel about divorce.

Topics we discuss:

Court drama
How to let the kids figure out their own opinions of their parents
How to get through it as a parent, and what you should surround yourself with
Two letters are read from children of divorce

Where to find Wendy:

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Music by Cameron Tarvin

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24: I'm Glad My Parents Are Still Friends - Jake Herzberg Jul 21, 2023

In this episode I interview 19-year-old child of divorce, Jake Herzberg. You may have heard of his mother, Jessica Klingbaum (co-founder of the exEXPERTS). Jake is honest, real, and blunt-- the perfect mix. I love his maturity and perspective at such a young age! You don't wanna miss this.

Topics we discuss:

When parents stay friends
Step-parent divorces
When breakups feel like divorces
Parental alienation
When you find out about infidelity

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Music by Cameron Tarvin

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23: Resource - WTF Divorce (Rob Roseman) Jun 12, 2023

In this episode I got to interview my first Dad on the show, Rob Roseman! Rob is the creator of WTF Divorce - a hilarious page made to engage those quickly with the topic of divorce as they scroll. Rob divorced in 2020... CRAZY RIGHT?!?! He talks about what it was like getting divorced during that time, his relationship with his co-parent, and how he's learned to step up as a dad. Rob also talks about his heart behind creating WTF Divorce, as he wanted other men to have a place to find help on how to parent and date and be a human after divorce.

Topics That Are Discussed:

Divorcing during COVID
How Dads can step up as parents post-divorce
How to allow the Dad to figure it out
Parents don't have it all figured out!
The gap in resources for men that want to be present Dads after divorce
The creation of WTF Divorce

Connect with Rob!

Website

WTF Divorce Podcast

Instagram

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Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by Cameron Tarvin

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22: Resource - The Divorce Survival Guide (Kate Anthony) Jun 04, 2023

WOW! What an honor it was to interview child of divorce, divorce coach, podcast host, and co-parent: Kate Anthony. Kate hosts the podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide and gives her audience a plethora of resources on how to heal during/after divorce. In our conversation we talk about her experience as a child of divorce and one that grew up in the world of acting. We also speak on how that shaped her decisions later in life. When Kate realized she was not setting a good example of a healthy relationship for her son, whose name I mute, and she knew she had to get out. When Kate decided to divorce her spouse, that's also when she decided to part ways with every abusive relationship in her life (best friend, and career)! This is a conversation you definitely want to have a pen and paper for. Get ready for the incredible, Kate Anthony.

Topics That Are Discussed:

Co-Parenting with a narcissist
Having a narcissistic mom
Repeating what you saw as a child
Choosing a new path after years living one way
How to explain narcissism to your kids

Connect with Kate!

Instagram

Website

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

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Music by Cameron Tarvin

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21: I Wish He Didn't Leave So Abruptly - Alyssen Nguyen May 22, 2023

In this episode Alyssen tells us what finding out about her mom's second divorce was like. This was a bigger deal since Alyssen grew up with her mom and stepdad. Her parents got divorced when she was too young to remember. We discuss what it's like when you lose a stepdad to divorce and how to navigate that relationship post divorce. We also talk about how poorly the divorce was communicated to Alyssen and how she wanted more answers and more communication! There is much more but you will have to listen to find out all of the details of what Alyssen wishes her parents knew.

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Music by Cameron Tarvin

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20: I Wish My Parents Considered Me More - Anonymous Jim May 15, 2023

In this episode we hear from my anonymous friend, "Jim". Jim thought about his episode a lot and gives us five major things that divorce entails. These five things are things that parents need to consider their kid's interest in. Those five being:

The initial conversation
The move out process
What he calls "inevitable fall out" that happens with your kids
Making your child act as the middle man
Dating after divorce

After all of these five, we talk about how he came to recognize his parents as humans. The more he looked back at his family tree, the more he saw generational patterns of divorce and addiction. These made him have more compassion for his parents, understanding that they are only giving what they know.

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Music by Cameron Tarvin

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19: Resource - exEXPERTS (Jessica & T.H.) May 08, 2023

I was very honored to interview the exEXPERTS: Jessica Klingbaum and T.H. Irwin this week. Their stories are wild! They have been best friends since college and their exes were best friends; however, their individual divorces could not be more different. With Jessica having kids at ages two and four and T.H. with a four, six, and eight-year-old at the time of the divorce, they know a thing or two. Listen in as we discuss what parenting through divorce was like for them, and how their kids received the new change.

This episode covers:

Having the "talk" with your kids
The stigma around telling people you're divorced
Why it's important to talk to your kids about how they are doing with the divorce throughout their life
How to advise your older kids on how to deal with their narcissistic parent
and much more!

Where to find the exEXPERTS:

exEXPERTS website

The Divorce Etc... Podcast

exEXPERTS Instagram

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Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by Cameron Tarvin

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18: I'm Glad I Forgave My Dad - Camille Price May 02, 2023

In this episode, Camille walks us through how she found out about her parent's divorce at age 16 and how it created a barrier between her and her dad. Now she and her dad Marco Polo each other almost every day. How did it happen? Listen in as she explains the transformation of accepting her father as human, and letting him in her life again. Very proud of Camille, and I cannot believe the steps she has taken as such a young child of divorce.

This episode covers teen children of divorce, sharing adult content with kids too early, forgiveness, bonus families, and more.

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Instagram/TikTok: @divorcetipsfromkids

Website: divorcetipsfromkids.com

Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by Cameron Tarvin

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17: Resource- Mighty & Bright Co. (Sara Olsher) Apr 25, 2023

Mother, Coparent, Cancer Survivor, and Entrepreneur. These are the descriptors that just scratch the surface when talking about my guest Sara Olsher. She is the creator of Mighty & Bright Co. This company provides magnetic calendars with magnetic options to fill your week with. This idea came to Sara when she put her daughter in counseling after she and her husband divorced. The counselor explained to Sara how crucial visual schedules are for children's development and for reducing anxiety levels. Sara also explains her passion for writing about hard things and translating them into kid language. Through her divorce, and battling breast cancer she became one who was very acquainted with hard things. This woman is full of passion, hope, and courage. Her calendars are a lifesaver! I can't wait for you to hear her story, and what Mighty & Bright Co. is all about.

Mighty & Bright Co. Website

Mighty & Bright Co. Instagram

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Instagram/TikTok: @divorcetipsfromkids

Website: divorcetipsfromkids.com

Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by Cameron Tarvin

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16: Resource- Divorce and Children (Christina McGhee) Apr 02, 2023

Divorce and Children, created by Christina McGhee is one of the most comprehensive resources for parents. I was honored to interview the founder, Christina, in this episode. She is a child of divorce herself and also a bonus mom! She and I speak about the importance of language when speaking about divorce. For example, "step-mom" can easily be replaced with "bonus mom". She also shares what pillars are needed for children after divorce, why discipline is still important, and also acknowledges just how hard all of this can be. The empathy and understanding that Christina carries for parents is what makes her such a great teacher. She also got to share about her book and the incredible new film series, Split. I hope you enjoy this conversation that I had with Christina McGhee as much as I did.

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Instagram: @divorcetipsfromkids

Website: divorcetipsfromkids.com

Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

Music by Cameron Tarvin

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15: I Wish My Parents Brought Me Into the Process - Red Rankin Mar 29, 2023

In this episode, Harrison "Red" Rankin brings us into the last year of his life. Back in February of 2022, Red found out his parents were separating. Red is 25 years old, yet he is a child of divorce. We are lucky to hear Red's story after such a new change for him and his family. He speaks about how his role as a son has changed with his mother. He talks about how many young men realize the ways they are like their fathers. We chat about what it's like being an adult child of divorce and how looking back at his childhood, he saw some signs pointing toward divorce. Red truly is a self-aware man, and I was so fortunate to hear his story. I hope you enjoy it!

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Instagram: @divorcetipsfromkids

Website: divorcetipsfromkids.com

Email: grace@divorcetipsfromkids.com

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14: Resource - A Kid With Two Homes (Bella Duncan) Feb 27, 2023

The collaboration you have all been waiting for... Bella + Grace! Bella Duncan, the founder of "A Kid With Two Homes", tells us what it was like growing up. She explains her heart behind creating her blog and why she thinks divorce deserves the same attention as other childhood traumas. In this episode, we discuss the drama of swapping parents in the middle of parking lots, why co-parent mutual respect is essential, and how to cope with the realities of divorce. We laugh and reflect on the fact that we are the only two (that we know of) in the space of divorce speaking from the child's perspective! Bella is a wealth of knowledge and I was so lucky to interview her. Enjoy the episode and if you enjoyed it, let us know! Bella's Website: https://www.akidwithtwohomes.com/ Bella's Instagram: @akidwithtwohomes Subscribe/Follow the podcast to keep up with all future episodes! If you enjoyed it, please let me know by leaving a review. Share with others who need this hope and advice! Instagram: @divorcetipsfromkids --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grace-casper/support

13: Resource - Home Sweet Homes (Fiona Kong) Feb 16, 2023

In this episode, Fiona Kong shares what it's been like co-parenting after parting ways with her former partner. They have a now 6-year-old son, Emile who was two when they split. Fiona was sad to be missing out on her child's life half the time. It was hard to find out what he and his dad did together since he was only two years young. So, she bought a journal from the dollar store and asked if her co-parent could fill it in with things they did together. Fast forward a bit and now she has created a whole journal for split families to use together. It contains a calendar, journal prompts, memory keepers, and more!

Beyond sharing her journal, she shares what the split has been like for her and her son. We discuss how divorce affected Emile and how he tried to keep track of when he was with each parent. We also spoke about her own journey and how she had to seek healing from her own family of origin and the beauty of forgiveness.

Home Sweet Homes Website: https://home-sweet-homes-journal.myshopify.com/

Fiona's Instagram: @homesweethomesjournal

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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12: I Wish I Wasn't Responsible for My Parent's Happiness - Katherine Randolph Feb 07, 2023

In this episode, I interview 34-year-old, Katherine Randolph. She speaks about what it was like growing up as the oldest sibling. Divorce has impacted her in ways that she still exemplifies today, like being on time. Katherine's parents were very protective of THEIR time with her and her sister. She could not be late. Katherine had to have a super-efficient map planned out in her head of how to leave mom's house well to not offend her while also making it to dad's house on time. This stress put a lot of stress on her. She also experienced "Parentification". She was her mother's emotional stabilizer. We even hear Katherine read a journal entry from the 4th grade of her stating that what makes her happy, is when mommy's happy.

As much as I just described the negative effects, she also explains what her parents did well. Such as, not speaking poorly about the other parent, providing her with a fun childhood, and meeting her financial and physical needs.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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11: Resource- The Family Core Jan 30, 2023

In this episode, Dr. James and his wife Ginger share about their resource: "The Family Core". Both of them had been divorced and had children before meeting one another. Blending a family is always hard but for them, faith was a huge component of how they found healing and hope. We talk about their experience of being a blended family, what they see their kids go through, and how they came up with the idea of "The Family Core". The Family Core is an app to help parents co-parent through healthy communication and organization. It has four pillars it can assist families with: secure chat, secure document storage, shared family calendars, and geo-locations for both Androids and iPhones.

The Family Core website

The Family Core Instagram

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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10: I'm Glad My Parents Got Divorced - JJ Zykan Jan 18, 2023

In this episode, 23-year-old JJ Zykan explains what her childhood was like as a child of divorce. We talk about mom and dad swapping houses, bad therapy, watching her mom enter into a toxic relationship for her second marriage, and how we need different parents at different times of our lives. Overall, JJ is grateful for the divorce. It allowed her family to be fully free and not walk on eggshells around each other. There was less fighting and anxiety within the home. While JJ is not an advocate for divorce, she recognizes it was the healthiest move for her family. This podcast is jammed packed with nuggets of wisdom. So, grab a notebook and pen, and lean in as you hear JJ's story.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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9: I Wish My Parents Didn't Have Facebook - Isabel Chandler Dec 06, 2022

Isabel had to grow up fast. She is the oldest of six kids, two of which have disabilities. Her relationship with her mom has always been difficult to navigate. However, her dad has been a safe haven for her, giving her space when needed. Buckle up as we tackle narcissistic moms, abusive step-parents, switching houses midweek, and the power of giving kids their space.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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8: Part 2! Custody, Practicals, Research - Grant & Haley Hawkins Oct 10, 2022

We're back with the sibling duo, Grant and Haley! If you haven't listened to part one, do so now!! In this episode, we talk about what their parents did well with split custody. We also discuss what research says is best, practicals for going from house to house, and resources for you. I loved this conversation and I am so honored to have interviewed these two. Enjoy this gift!

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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7: I Wish My Dad and I Weren't Dating Alongside Each Other - Grant & Haley Hawkins Oct 03, 2022

This episode is SPICY! We talk about parents dating, triangulation in family relationships, and more. I've never interviewed siblings before. Grant and Haley were such a treat to have on. Not only are they vulnerable but they are well educated in family systems. Haley is currently studying to be a marriage and family counselor due to her experience as a child of divorce. We talked so much that we had to split the episode into two! So here is part one of my conversation with siblings, Haley and Grant Hawkins.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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6: I'm Glad I Drew Boundaries - Toyin Jackson Sep 26, 2022

Toyin was graduating high school and found out her parents were getting a divorce on the same day. It was a day of wild change for her. In this episode, she explains going through her parent's divorce as an 18-year-old. Through therapy, Toyin learned to draw healthy boundaries with her parents and learned how to heal from the divorce. Let Toyin tell you what her parents did well and what they could've done better. She is hilarious so get ready to laugh!

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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5: I Wish I Didn't Pick Sides - Trevor Brown Sep 07, 2022

Hi listeners! Thanks for being here today. This episode I interview 23-year-old Trevor Brown. He breaks down what his divorce story was like and how he chose to push away his dad. However, his dad relentlessly pursued him and now he and his dad have a relationship. Listen in as Trevor shares wisdom on when it's the right time to talk about the reason behind the divorce, how to forgive, and how it's affected his life today.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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4: I'm Glad My Mom Listened - Carlie Dill Aug 31, 2022

Carlie's story is a wild, unique one. She has had upwards of six "parents". She has witnessed two divorces and went through it all under the age of 18. Despite her chaotic upbringing, Carlie's story is filled with hope. She explains what her mom did well, what her dad did well, and where they both could've grown. Divorce was a part of what brought healing to Carlie and her mom's relationship. Listen in to hear the wisdom from this remarkable woman.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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3: I'm Glad My Mom Didn't Tarnish My Dad's Name - David Martinez Aug 22, 2022

In this episode, David talks through what it was like having multiple custody mixups, finding out the reason behind the divorce, and feeling the pressure of making sure both mom and dad are okay. He also talks about what went RIGHT between his parents post-divorce. David is one of my closest friends and his optimism and the way he tells stories is so entertaining. So sit back, go on a drive, or wash your dishes as you listen to the wisdom of my good friend, David.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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2: I Wish I Didn't Have To Juggle Time - Jordan Crisman Aug 15, 2022

In this episode, Jordan spits some honest truths. From buying affection to people pleasing to managing time at both houses, Jordan covers it all! Her experience was unique in that her parents lived down the road from one another. She grew up knowing only divorce. Over time, Jordan took on the responsibility of making sure mom and dad were okay. She made sure to spend equal time with both and make sure they both felt seen and loved. This ended up taking a toll on Jordan's mental health and didn't allow her to make choices for her sake. Listen to this episode to hear how it all turned out.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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1: I Wish There Was More Open Communication - Lizzie Doss Aug 08, 2022

In this story, Lizzie shares how she grew up without a present dad. Her mom instilled strong independence within her and made sure she could protect herself. As Lizzie grew older, her mom started dating more and that was a weird reality for Lizzie. Listen in as she talks about the importance of community, open communication, and processing your feelings.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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Trailer: Hi, I'm Grace Casper Aug 04, 2022

Divorce is MESSY! It's the worst! No one plans for it, and I'm sure you didn't either! I started this podcast to address the population that many forget is affected by this epidemic: the kids. I'm Grace Casper, a soon-to-be author who wrote a book from the kid's perspective. In this podcast series, I will interview children of divorce asking them what they wish their parents knew. You listening to this podcast already shows me you're concerned for your kid's journey through this. So take a deep breath and get ready to learn from the kids.

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Music: Cameron Tarvin Music

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