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Join Bran, Dan, and friends as they attempt to watch and review made-for-tv movies. Just a bunch of friends…watching made-for-tv movies. What could go wrong?
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
Eric Field hops on a train, heading back to Italy. Why? To find his 24-year-old daughter, Liv. Eric has a complicated relationship with Italy, so he’s not exactly thrilled to be there. And he’s even less thrilled to learn that his daughter is apparently trying to buy a villa.
Liv catches him up on what she’s been up to: she tutored English in Milan, nannied in Florence, worked harvesting olives, then came to this village for a wine festival—and fell in love. Eric’s like, “I thought you’d come over here for a little bit and then come back to Ohio.”
They walk into a coffee shop where Eric meets a woman who clearly strikes his fancy. He immediately starts unloading on her about how his daughter is being ripped off by the mayor, who’s trying to get her to buy some dumb house for one euro. Turns out, this woman is the mayor.
Liv explains to her dad that she wants to buy a place here to feel closer to her late mother, who was very proud of being Italian.
So the three of them go check out some dumpy houses. Apparently, the mayor, Francesca, is doing this one-euro housing program to help boost the village’s economy by bringing in new people. The first few houses are awful. But the last one? It’s amazing. The problem? It’s not technically on the list yet. Still, it’s clearly the one.
Eric goes out with the mayor for gelato to talk more about the house. This guy named Bernardo, who’s in charge of permits and such, is also there—and he’s not fond of the idea of a non-Italian buying property in the village. He’s worried they’ll change things.
As work begins on the house, Eric keeps trying to take over and pushes Liv to just renovate and sell it. But Liv stands her ground. Eric finds out Francesca has been widowed for five years—two years longer than he has.
There’s this guy named Giovanni, a chef who’s very into Liv, but she’s not feeling it. Eric, however, likes him and is super impressed with his food. That gets Eric thinking: the villa has an authentic brick pizza oven and chimney.
Eric invites everyone—including Francesca and Bernardo—to pitch the idea of turning the villa into a culinary school, which could help boost the local economy. He asks Giovanni to participate and encourages Liv to give him a shot.
Eric and Francesca go on what might be a date… or might not. But things are getting serious.
Meanwhile, Eric’s been gone for two months, and his employer tells him that the competition is trying to poach her. She’s considering the offer because she’s not sure Eric is ever coming back.
Later, Eric and Francesca go to a beach party—and end up kissing. They head back to her place. The sparks are FLYING. Eric starts to wonder if maybe he should just stay and be close to his daughter.
But then Liv drops a bomb—she has the opportunity to do a year-long interior design apprenticeship in Rome. Eric’s like, “That’s amazing!” And Liv says, “You should stay here and help run the villa!”
Things take a turn when Bernardo finds out Eric and Francesca are together, and he’s not happy. At the unveiling of the restored fresco in what will be the culinary school, Bernardo brings in the American Longos, who he claims are the rightful owners of the villa. In response, Eric offers to give the couple the villa—if they pay for the renovations.
Francesca isn’t about to give up without a fight. She investigates and discovers that the Longos are actually related to a different house in town, not this villa. She rushes to the train station to stop Eric just in time. He says he doesn’t want to leave, and she tells him, “You haven’t lost the villa. It’s all yours.”
Some time passes. They open the culinary school. And they dance the night away.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
The movie kicks off with big horses, big hats, and big fun! Cut to hotel employee Stella—well, so we think. She’s sneaking into a room for some mysterious reason. It looks like she’s wheeling in room service, but she’s shocked to discover someone is actually in the room. It’s Christian, and he’s confused because he didn’t order anything. Turns out, it’s not room service at all—Stella designed a hat that she’s trying to get in front of Christian’s mom, Rosalind, who is apparently a big deal.
Christian helps Stella sneak out when his mom unexpectedly returns, but she accidentally leaves the hat behind. Rosalind sees it, loves it, and decides she wants to wear it. Christian tells her that the woman who designed it had just dropped it off, then heads down to the lobby to tell Stella the good news—and invites her back up to meet his mom.
Rosalind is impressed and asks Stella to design a hat based on her outfit. Rosalind’s stylist is not a fan of Stella and is thrilled when Rosalind dislikes Stella’s first design. She even tells Stella to “bless her heart,” which Stella doesn’t realize is the sickest Southern burn. So it’s back to the drawing board—but this time, they’re doing a whole new look, dress and all.
Stella starts hanging out with Christian a lot. They strike a deal: he’ll help her navigate Kentucky high society so she can design the perfect hats, and she’ll use her farm experience to help train Christian’s nervous horse for the Louisville Derby. (Spoiler: all the horse really needed was a song.)
Then there’s this other dude, Davidson, who’s clearly into Stella—and Christian fricken hates this guy.
Meanwhile, Rosalind’s assistant, Hannah, is super jealous of how much Rosalind likes Stella. She starts acting out: trying to embarrass Stella at a party, telling Christian that Stella likes Davidson (so he starts giving her the cold shoulder), and even trying to convince Rosalind not to wear Stella’s hat. But Odette steps in and convinces Rosalind to wear it—and she wins the hat-off!
When Rosalind realizes Stella is missing, Hannah finally comes clean: she told Stella she wasn’t allowed to sit in the box. Christian rushes off to find Stella, and they make up.
Then it’s time for the big race… and they win! Christian and Stella finally share a kiss!
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
The movie kicks off with—yep, you guessed it—a yule log. A woman named Dianne shows up and begins vacuuming the floor. There's a knock at the door, and it's another woman claiming her car broke down. Suddenly, her son invites himself in, and we see Dianne get pushed down in front of the camera. Then a masked man appears and comes after her. Just then, the video is paused, and we realize the police are watching the footage. Apparently, Dianne doesn’t make it—and she’s not the only one.
From what I gather, Dianne was cleaning the house for a group of renters who were about to arrive. And they do. All of them end up dead—except one: Zoe. But Zoe is not doing well. And Zoe knows the truth: it wasn’t a person that did this. Rather, it was a killer log that floats around and murders people.
Speaking of which, a police officer is watching more of the tape when he hears a noise from the evidence room. He goes to check it out—and it’s the yule log. He tries to fight back, but the yule log saws off his leg with a chainsaw and blows up the building with dynamite, destroying the tape.
Zoe tries to return to normal life, but she keeps seeing the log everywhere and ends up getting fired from her job. The police tell her the case is closed—they're convinced the masked man is the killer. Zoe insists, “No, it’s the log!” But no one believes her.
Her friend Jakester suggests they get away from it all and spend Christmas on an island. They get in the car—but Santa makes them crash into a tree. A tow truck driver shows up, and he’s a total hunk.
Zoe starts wandering around this small town, axe in hand, and notices things get oddly brighter when she enters Main Street. She keeps bumping into hunks, but she doesn’t have time for that. The first hunk is an influencer named Bo Regards, and he announces, “WE’RE GOING TO GET DINNER!” After the fourth hunk knocks her over, she yells for help. A hunky Christmas ornament shop owner comes to her rescue and brings her inside. She meets his kid and his Nana and learns that the guy—Bert—is a widower. She accidentally knocks over all the ornaments and tries to fix them, but then she gets a text from Bo about dinner plans. Turns out Bo has opened his own competing ornament shop. Unfortunate.
Meanwhile, the yule log is on its own adventure. It sneaks into the trunk of a family going camping and proceeds to brutally kill them all.
Bo agrees to let Zoe use his helicopter, but it leaves without her. As she walks back to town, Bert and his family pick her up and offer to let her stay with them. She opens up to Bert about what happened, and he’s like, “Don’t worry—I know just what you need.” He’s built a machine that helps people process trauma. And it works. Her life changes. She’s full of holiday cheer and no longer afraid of the yule log.
Zoe and Bert have a wonderful day together—blowing bubbles by the creek, sliding down a fire pole, etc. Everything seems great—until we see the yule log peeking around a corner.
But don’t worry—Santa shows up and captures it in a bag. He runs it through a wood chipper, then buries the pieces in a shallow grave and pours cement over it. Looks like the nightmare is finally over.
Except… one tiny wood strip escapes. It flies through the air and gives Nana a splinter.
They all go inside for dinner, and—don’t ask me why—Zoe opens the freezer and sees a mini version of Nana, who invites her inside. Zoe climbs in and shrinks down too. Her ex, Alex, is also in the freezer, working on his boxing skills. (I have no idea, man.)
The next day, Nana complains about her stomach—but I’m sure it’s nothing.
At Christmas dinner, chaos erupts. Nana starts vomiting all over the food and then starts choking. One of the Cards tries to give her the Heimlich when suddenly they’re stabbed by a giant tree branch. More branches burst from Nana until her head pops off—and the yule log crawls out from the head hole.
Nana Yule Log heads to the town square, where the Yule Log Festival is happening. She lights all the other yule logs on fire, and they begin attacking the townspeople.
She tracks Zoe and Bert back to his house, where they discover that the ashes of their loved ones are the only thing that can extinguish the fire.
They win! Zoe decides it’s best to leave town.
But in the end, she returns for the store’s grand re-opening—and kisses Bert.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
We meet a little girl named Jyn. Her family is in hiding. One day, the bad guy Orson shows up to tell Jyn's dad, Galen, that they need him to come back and finish the Death Star. Galen’s like, “I wouldn’t be any use—I’m just a sad sack ever since my wife died.” Suddenly, his wife comes running out of the field—so really bad timing, honestly. She has a gun and she’s like, “You’ll never take him!” Orson’s like, “I’m taking you all.” She shoots him. They shoot her. Orson tells his guys to go find the child, but Jyn is really good at hide-and-seek. She waits in the secret spot until a dude named Saw shows up. It’s clear they know each other.
Fast forward some time—Jyn is now an adult and in a holding cell. Meanwhile, a cargo pilot named Bodhi shows up and claims to Saw that he wants to join the Rebels.
Jyn is being transferred with other prisoners when Rebel forces suddenly break in and free them, led by Cassian Andor. Together, they fight stormtroopers and escape.
They take a reprogrammed Imperial droid named K-2SO and head somewhere else, where they encounter more stormtroopers who are gathering crystals to power the Death Star.
They're about to get captured, but a blind spiritual warrior named Chirrut Îmwe and his mercenary friend Baze Malbus help them out. This allows Jyn to make contact with Saw, who is holding Bodhi. She sees a message in which Galen reveals that he secretly built a vulnerability into the Death Star. The schematics are stored in an Imperial data vault.
Onboard the Death Star, Orson orders a test strike on the moon where the gang is. Jyn and her group take Bodhi and flee, but Saw stays behind and dies.
Orson gets an atta boy from his higher-up.
Bodhi leads the group to Galen’s Imperial research facility. Rebel bombers attack the site. Galen is wounded and dies in Jyn’s arms before she escapes with the group on a stolen Imperial cargo shuttle.
Orson is summoned by Darth Vader—he’s back, baby!—to explain the attack. Orson’s like, “Now that you’ve seen my work, maybe introduce me to the Emperor?” Vader force-chokes him and says, “Get back to work and don’t cause any more trouble.”
Jyn proposes a mission to steal the Death Star schematics, but the Alliance Council thinks there’s no chance of success. Frustrated by their inaction, Jyn’s group leads a small squad of volunteers—Bodhi dubs them “Rogue One.” Jyn, Cassian, and K-2SO infiltrate the Imperial base while the others create a diversion with a space battle.
The Alliance eventually joins the fight, sending their fleet. Jyn gets the schematics but is ambushed by Orson, who is shot and wounded by Cassian. Jyn transmits the schematics to the Rebel command ship just before the Death Star fires a beam that destroys the base—and them.
The Rebel fleet tries to escape, but many ships are intercepted by Darth Vader. He boards the command ship and wrecks everyone in an attempt to recover the plans, but a smaller ship escapes with them. Princess Leia declares that the schematics will provide hope for the Rebellion—some might even call it a new hope.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
5/3 Hats Off to Love
5/10 Love in the Clouds
A Dater's Handbook
Summer Villa
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
The movie kicks off exactly like the other ones. Love Club. Cheese. Fast forward 8 months, and Nila is looking at some new dresses because i guess that's her job. She starts getting all of this notifications from a dating app that she didn't sign up for. A women at the shop says it's probably a phishing scheme. But when her daughter gets home, she tells Nila that she signed her mom up for the app to get her off her back. So she calls the love club mom's. They go to this cafe and meet a dude named Olly and they ask Olly to like look after her while she goes on these dates. But Olly is also a 10 of 10, so there's that. Olly's ex comes in and is shooting her shot to get back together. After a bad date, she's talking with Nila and they hatch a plan to just get everyone of their backs - fake relationship! The love club is immediately suspicious, so they start poking around, trying to catch her in a lie. And they end up overhearing a conversation that confirm this relationship is a rouse.
But she keeps fake dating him and then he does a photo shoot of her. She begins to realize that she's having feels for him but then sees him kiss his ex but turns out it didn't mean anything! He ends up showing up to her daughters birthday party and they make up and make out.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
*Producer note: a listener has explained to me how PO boxes work*
A woman walks into a bar as Oliver narrates over the scene. We see that she ends up in the background of a selfie while she’s walking around. She sits at the bar, writes a letter, and puts a stamp on it. When she notices the cops looking around, she quickly leaves, causing the letter to fall to the floor and get kicked under the bar.
Fast forward five years: the gang is at brunch. Ramon brings them a letter he found under the bar — it turns out this brunch spot and the nightclub from five years ago are one and the same. They can't make anything out from the outside of the letter, so they open it. Unfortunately, the letter couldn't be less helpful — it's even signed "Me," almost as if it’s written in code.
We also find out that Shane and Rita are both pregnant! Yippie!
Oliver and Shane go to tell Oliver’s dad that they’re expecting. Oliver is also working with his dad to open a postal museum. While going through the attic, Oliver’s dad finds a box labeled "For Oliver Someday" and quickly tries to hide it.
The next day, they're back at the office when Charley reads the letter and immediately realizes that the author is talking about the now-famous artist Nate Hallaway. Shane looks him up and sees he’s playing a gig in Vegas. ROAD TRIP!
Oliver and Shane go to a doctor’s appointment, and everything is looking good with the baby. However, Oliver realizes he knows very little about his family history. He goes to talk to his dad, who then gives him the "For Oliver Someday" box.
Meanwhile, the gang makes it to the Vegas show. At first, Nate acts like he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. But after the show, he admits the truth: the letter is from a woman named Tracy Rio. She wrote his best songs. That night, she had suddenly disappeared without telling him why. Since then, she has been sending him songs and he sends money via a P.O. box every month.
The team stakes out the P.O. box until someone matching Tracy’s description shows up. They follow her and discover that she’s now a caregiver. She invites them in and shares her story: she’s been on the run ever since her dad robbed a bank when she was a child. Her whole family has been "wanted" ever since. When she turned 18, her mom gave her money and stamps, and they communicated through a postal box. After that fateful night, she assumed the box no longer worked and never wrote again. She asks the team to find her mom and tell her she’s okay.
While working on this, Oliver reads through the letters his dad kept and begins to question why his dad held onto them all these years.
As he’s processing all of this, Oliver tracks Tracy’s mom to a nearby church. He delivers Tracy’s letter and tells her he must report her to the police. However, he finds out she has another daughter who will turn 18 in six weeks, so he agrees to give her that time before reporting her.
Oliver and his dad have a heart-to-heart about fatherhood and reconcile.
Six weeks later, it’s time for the gala to raise money for the postal museum. Tracy — whose real name is Lilly — shows up, and her mom is there too. Lilly goes on stage to sing. Meanwhile, Oliver tells her mom that it’s time: the feds are waiting. She turns herself in, and Oliver reunites Lilly and Nate backstage.
The movie ends with the gang hanging out, drinking Yoo-hoo, and Rita finding out that the baby they’re adopting was just born — so they rush off together.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
You need to know something right off the bat: the Herdmans are the worst kids in the world. There’s Imogen, the eldest, then Ralph, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys. They smoke. They curse. They bully. They’re just plain bad.
Enter Beth Bradley, our narrator. Early on, her locket gets stolen, and she prays to God to send the Herdmans far, far away.
Meanwhile, the church’s 75th annual Christmas pageant is coming up—it’s a big deal. Mrs. Armstrong, who’s directed it every year, breaks both her legs, so Beth’s mom, Grace, steps in. Despite all the skeptics, she boldly claims it’s going to be the best Christmas pageant ever.
Beth’s little brother Charlie has been getting bullied into giving Leroy Herdman his lunch cookies. Out of frustration, Charlie tells them he doesn’t even care—he gets all the snacks he wants at church.
Big mistake.
Leroy spreads the word to his siblings, and the next thing you know, the Herdmans show up at church. The pastor says they’ve got to attend Sunday school first—so they do.
But even more shocking than them staying is when Imogen declares she’s going to play Mary, and Ralph is going to be Joseph. The rest of the major roles? Also claimed by Herdmans. The other kids decide it’s probably best not to argue.
When the church community hears about this, they protest: You can’t let the Herdmans be in the pageant!
At the first rehearsal, Grace realizes something big—the Herdmans have never heard the story of Jesus. They’re stunned by it. They demand King Herod be included in the play… and that he be taken out.
Imogen ropes Beth into helping them research the story of Christmas at the library.
The final dress rehearsal is a mess. Imogen’s brothers hide the baby Jesus doll, the choir falls apart, and a fire alarm goes off. Everyone assumes Imogen pulled it—or that she was smoking in the bathroom. Turns out, something just burned in the oven.
Imogen overhears the townspeople badmouthing her family and decides they’re done. The Herdmans vanish.
The next day, Grace can’t get ahold of them. Beth goes to Imogen’s house and reminds her that Grace stuck up for them. Imogen gives no sign of what they’ll do. So that night, as Grace prepares to open the show, she tells the audience honestly—she has no idea what’s going to happen.
And then, just in time, the Herdmans show up.
They bring their own flair to the pageant: Imogen gently burps the baby doll, the Wise Men bring a ham, and Imogen even sheds a tear. The crowd is unexpectedly moved—they love it.
The film closes with a grown-up Beth now directing the Christmas pageant herself, carrying on the wild, wonderful legacy of the Herdmans.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
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Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH
Luke Skywalker has vanished!
And the First Order has taken control. All that's left is to find Luke and destroy him. Leia, Luke's sister, is searching for him. If she can find him, then there's still hope to bring some order and peace to the galaxy.
That takes us to the planet Jakku. We meet a pilot named Poe who is on a mission to retrieve a map. He has the map—something the First Order finds out. So they show up and start blasting, all "pew pew." Kylo Ren arrives, and he’s clearly the one in charge. He’s even got a voice thing like Darth Vader. He's awesome. He captures Poe, convinced he has the map. But Poe already gave it to his droid, BB-8.
We see one stormtrooper who seems to be struggling—maybe starting to doubt if he's on the right side of history. His name is FN-2187, but we’ll call him Finn.
Then we meet Rey. She’s out there grinding, scavenging for quarter portions. It’s tough out there. One evening, she finds BB-8 and likes him enough that she turns down an offer of 60 portions just to keep him.
Meanwhile, Kylo Ren uses the Force to learn more about BB-8. Finn decides he’s had enough and helps Poe escape—they steal a ship, but it’s shot down. Finn survives and assumes Poe was killed when the ship sinks into quicksand. All that’s left is Poe’s jacket.
Finn meets Rey and BB-8. The First Order is hot on their trail, so they steal the Millennium Falcon and escape.
Han Solo and Chewbacca track the Falcon and agree to team up with them.
We start to see Kylo Ren struggling with the pull of the light side. When Supreme Leader Snoke orders an attack on the New Republic, he senses Kylo’s hesitation. He suspects it's because of Kylo’s father… HAN SOLO! Kylo says it won’t be a problem, but then we see him speaking to Darth Vader’s helmet, asking for strength to stay on the dark side.
Aboard the Falcon, Han realizes that BB-8’s map is incomplete. He explains that Luke tried to rebuild the Jedi Order but went into exile after an apprentice turned to the dark side.
Han takes the group to meet Maz, a cantina owner, who offers to help get BB-8 to the Resistance. The Force draws Rey to an underground vault where she finds Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. When she touches it, she has disturbing visions and decides not to take it. Maz gives the lightsaber to Finn for safekeeping.
The First Order attacks and tracks down the Falcon. They’re hunting for BB-8. Kylo captures Rey because he knows she’s seen the map.
Resistance fighters led by Poe arrive to save the others. And guess what—LEIA IS BACK, BABY!
Rey resists Kylo’s mind-reading attempts and realizes she may have the Force. She tries a Jedi mind trick on a stormtrooper—and it works. She escapes just before Kylo comes to take her to Snoke, who is not pleased.
The Resistance devises a plan to destroy the First Order’s new superweapon by targeting its weakness—because seriously, these guys never learn. Using the Falcon, Han, Chewbacca, and Finn infiltrate the base. Finn finds Rey, who’s already working on escaping, and they plant explosives.
Han confronts Kylo, calling him by his real name—Ben—and pleads with him to leave the dark side. Kylo, with tears on his cheeks, seems tempted… but then stabs Han through the chest with a lightsaber and lets him fall to his death. Chewbacca, enraged, shoots Kylo and injures him. They manage to escape while Rey and Finn head into the snowy woods.
Kylo follows. He knocks Rey out with the Force and duels Finn, eventually defeating him. Rey regains consciousness, uses the Force to call the lightsaber to her, and fights Kylo. She wins.
Chewbacca rescues Rey and the injured Finn, and they escape aboard the Falcon just as the First Order base explodes.
Back at the Resistance base, R2-D2 wakes up and reveals he has the missing piece of the map to Luke.
Rey travels to a remote island and finds Luke atop a cliff. She holds out his lightsaber.
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
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Throughout the month of April, we're going to be highlighting some other shows that we are apart of creating! . This week, we're excited to announce the launch of our newest show....THE DISS LIST!
The Diss List officially launches on May 7th and you'll be able to listen wherever you listen to podcasts. Keep your eyes & ears pealed!
Coming soon: https://the-diss-list.simplecast.com
Watch the show on Youtube - www.deckthehallmark.com/youtube
Interested in advertising on the show? Email bran@deckthehallmark.com
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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