Dad University Podcast

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Why Kids Lie – How To Deal With Kids Lying – Dudes To Dads Ep 85 Oct 18, 2016

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Why Do Kids Lie? You can’t take it personally or feel that you have failed as a parent. Kids are going to lie and try to push boundaries. It’s totally normal for them to lie. Whether they want attention or want to avoid something bad they all do it. The reasons they lie varies based on age. Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 2 to 4) They don’t yet understand where truth begins and ends. Reality is a little unclear School-Age and Big Kids (Ages 5 to 8) Often lie about school, classes, homework, teachers, and friends Often lie because the responsibilities are too much. There is too much pressure Tweens (Ages 9 to 12) To avoid getting in trouble Getting better at maintaining lies More senstive to repercussions May be important to teach them situations where being completely honest isn’t polite….like when someone cooks food for you and asks if you like it. Here are some links of the articles we reference: http://time.com/3628783/lying-punishment-kids-lie-more-study/ How to Deal with Lying in Children and Teens Researchers traced the effectiveness of punishment in 372 kids between the ages of 4 and 8, finding that children were less likely to tell the truth when threatened with punishment, and more likely to tell the truth when they thought it would please an adult. Don’t punish a child for telling a lie. Encourage them to tell the truth. Here are a few ways to encourage honesty from a supernanny article: 1. Calmly name the issue but don’t demand confessions. Never call your child a liar or bring up the past. 2. Try to understand why your child is finding it hard to be honest. Avoiding diclipline, pressure 3. Teach your child about why lying doesn’t work. The boy who cried wolf 4. Respond with clear consequences. Very …

4 Styles of Parenting & Their Effects on Children – Ep 84 Oct 12, 2016

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In episode 84 we explore the 4 styles of parenting: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful, and authoritative. We examine how to recognize each style and how each style effects the child. 1) Authoritarian Parenting – strict, rely on obedience. Structure. Rules and structure are good but typically authoritarian’s take it too far. How to recognize Authoritarian parenting? – Do you use punishment to get your kids to do something you ask? – Not alot of being warm and fuzzy toward the child – Do you have strict rules that need to be followed? – Use the term “Because I said so” What does Authoritarian parenting do to kids? Low self-esteem difficulty in social situations misbehaving outside of parental site fearful or shy associate obedience with love 2) Permissive Parenting – also known as indulgent, responsive but not demanding, avoid confrontation, lack of structure. This style is nurturing and loving but doesn’t provide any structure. How to recognize Permissive parenting? – Do you avoid conflict with your child? – You want to be their friend rather than parent – Use rewards or bribes to get them to do things What does Permissive parenting do to kids? Teens are 3X more likely to engage in underage heavy alcohol consumption poor social skills lack of discipline poor academic performance lack of motivation problems with authority 3) Neglectful / Uninvolved – probably the most harmful. It’s typically not cause by children’s behavior. Parents with this style need help. The good news is that it can be helped. How to recognize Neglectful / Uninvolved parenting: – Do you know what is going on in your child’s life? – Is the home a safe place? – Do you spend a lot of time away from home leaving the child alone? – Do you spend any time …

4 Styles of Parenting & Their Effects on Children – Dudes To Dads Ep 84 Oct 12, 2016

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For Moms – Stop Giving Advice or Helping Someone Else’s Dad – We Got This – Ep 83 Oct 05, 2016

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This is a Public service announcement for women. Please pass this podcast along to every woman you know. Women, let dads parent their own kids! If they aren’t asking for help, don’t help them. I share a story of my daughter being upset before school last year. She had misplaced or lost something she needed before school and was crying. I was using my parenting techniques, offering empathy, kneeling down to help, and listening to what was wrong. I got this! A mom who knows my daughter comes over and begins talking to my daughter right in front of me. It was almost as if I didn’t exist. It would be different if she said “do you want me to try and talk to her?” I would have said no, I got this but thank you for asking. As men we interpret this as she thinks we are completely incapable of parenting our child or handling the situation. I asked my wife if something like this has ever happen to her and she said no. It’s happen to me multiple times. It then happened again recently. This time my daughter forgot some event that day and wore the wrong shoes. It was ok because we had both pairs but for whatever reason for a 6 year old it was a big deal. I totally got this! I once again re-assured my daughter we would be able to solve it. A mom sees her crying and immediately feels the need to come over and step in front of me. These types of situations happen all the time. A dad in our meetup group runs a “stay at home” dad meetup. He indicated that as a stay at home dad, he encounters women commenting on the capabilities or making sarcastic comments quite …

For Moms – Stop Giving Advice or Helping Someone Else’s Dad – We Got This – Dudes To Dads Ep 83 Oct 05, 2016

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Stop Sibling Rivalry – How To Promote Harmony – Ep 82 Sep 27, 2016

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Dr. Bill and Martha Sears wrote an article on 20 ways to deal with sibling rivalry. We touch on these tips and discuss their meaning and how we can incorporate them into our lives. 1. Make friends before birth 2. Make the older sibling feel important 3. Time share 4. Stay Positive 5. Begin the day in harmony 6. Raise sensitive siblings: in charge, comforter, minister, teacher, co-workers, co-sleepers, entertainer 7. Set Limits – no disturbing the peace 8. Hold family meetings 9. Humor is the best medicine 10. Foster a team spirit 11. Promote empathy 12. Promote gender sensitivity 13. Ignore smallies; address biggies – let them handle it themselves 14. Children do not have to be treated equally – they are individuals 15. Every child is a favorite 16. Minimize comparions 17. Referee quarrels 18. When in doubt, intervene 19. Listen to both sides – be careful of creating a victim 20. Siblings are forever…

Stop Sibling Rivalry – How To Promote Harmony – Dudes To Dads Ep 82 Sep 27, 2016

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How to Make Bedtime Easier Using Brain Science – Ep 81 Sep 21, 2016

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When you have a baby, your primary focus is getting the baby to sleep through the night. When you have a toddlers, they love to keep coming out of their room, they need 400 stuffed animals, their bed needs to be perfect, etc. For young children, they just seem to delay the process as long as possible. I need to figure out what I can do to improve the process. I found some tips based on brain science by Katherine Eskovitz Too little of sleep causes serious problems for children. Studies suggest that every 15 minutes less sleep for high schoolers means a drop of one letter grade. Lack of sleep contributes to bad moods, sickness, depression, and even obesity. Here are some tips: 1) Create a night time Routine together – eat, bath/shower, pajamas, brush teeth, read, sleep. Let them help plan it 2) Start a good night journal – great way to clear the brain, can reduce nightmares. Make sense of our experiences, help with control 3) Dim the lights and stay away from electronics – light lowers melatonin levels, eliminate TV, computers, etc. at least 60 minutes before bedtime 4) Play a short bedtime game – Two truths one fake – talk about the day 5) Listen to a good-night talk or make your own – guided talk that focuses on relaxation – or make your own 6) Change scary thoughts into silly thoughts – Change the scary creature into something funny – like a monster but it has stripes 7) Remember to hug a favorite stuffed animal – stuffed animals can really help reduce nighttime fears 8) Follow the SAME PLAN with the SAME BEDTIME each night – children thrive on consistency. It’s not just number of hours, but also consistent time is critical for developing …

How to Make Bedtime Easier Using Brain Science – Dudes To Dads Ep 81 Sep 21, 2016

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Teaching Our Children Gratitude – 14 Tips To Help Children Be Grateful – Ep 80 Sep 13, 2016

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In a recent Huffington Post article, Paula Spencer Scott of Kinstantly.com wrote about Psychologist Jeffrey Froh, a professor and leading gratitude researcher who wrote a book called “Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character. He wrote about this thing called “culture of appreciation”. In order to do this we have to recognize 3 things: 1) The intent: that somebody put me first 2) The cost: what someone gave up for me 3) The benefit: what I got out of it An example you would say to your child: “Hey Rosemary, that was pretty nice of Sara to help you with your math when she knew you were struggling [intent] I can’t beleive she gave up for soccer time to help you [cost] – but how great that you now know your four times-tables [benefit] Here are 14 Tips to Help Children Be Grateful: 1. Teach them to say Thank You – We do this when they are very little 2. Have them write a thank you note – birthdays, holidays 3. Read books or poems about gratitude – Go to Amazon and type in gratitude books for kids 4. Share stories about their past 5. Share stories about their family history 6. At a meal, everyone shares something they are thankful for. We do this at Thanksgiving, but I can see it needs to be done more often. 7. Write or say what they are thankful about someone within their own family 8. Notice little things, like in nature 9. Have them make something for someone else – draw a picture, build something 10. Have them do something nice for a neighbor – rake leaves, wash their car, take out their trash 11. Give them experiences versus stuff 12. Help them figure out what matters to them – …

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