Culture Sex Relationships

Latest Episodes:

Aftercare Feb 27, 2026

Show notes

I was researching this article for BISH on Aftercare https://www.bishuk.com/sex/aftercare/ and it was raising lots of interesting things and themes which we talk about on this show. So I thought I'd get them out of my system. This article about how fist fuckers view aftercare is really interesting https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/10.51681.1.1124_phases-of-aftercare-a-reflexive-thematic-analysis-of-how-fist-fuckers-understand-aftercare_Martin.pdf and so is this one about how people relate to aftercare regarding their gender and leaving the right impression on their BDSM partner (not sure if this pun was intended, but very good if it was) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2024.2410338#d1e109 . Both these articles reflect on aftercare as a community value and how it operates as an inside / outside thing which I talk about in the podcast. Look I haven't read this whole thesis about Aftercare but I'm sure it's interesting https://pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1999&context=honorstheses and this Masters thesis talks about the phenomenon of it being talked about on TikTok https://surface.syr.edu/thesis/706/ This paper on the Biology of BDSM is really good https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/19/1/144/6961196?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false and this one is a review of the BioPyschoSocial science in understanding kink which is very helpful https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X22001944 Hope you enjoy this! Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned.

Ask Justin: Should I do a PhD Feb 11, 2026

Show notes

Dear Justin, should I do a PhD in sexology? And what does it mean about my life that I even ask this question? And what small baby-steps can I take to find the path forward without jumping head-first into doing it full-time? In this answer I talked about the different kinds of sexological approaches that exist: which I describe as being Royal Science or minor science (Kinsey and Masters and Johnson for example). Then I talk about different approaches one could take to doing sexology. Also I talk about how doing a PhD is a really focussed piece of work which might actually prevent you from doing the reading you enjoy. Lastly I give some ideas of being nerdy about sex that might be still be sexy and enjoyable without it having to lead to an outcome like a PhD. Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned.

Cultural Artefact 2 - Love Actually Dec 22, 2025

Show notes

It’s another ‘Cultural Artefact’ episode and in this one I’m ranting about Love Actually. It’s on ITV X this Christmas (annoyingly with ads) so this makes the Watchalong episode I did last year more relevant, which you can find here at the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/posts/118365605 For this I am doing a reading from the article at BISH I did about it, a Sex and Relationships Education Guide to Love Actually https://www.bishuk.com/your-call/a-sex-and-relationships-education-guide-to-love-actually/ which is actually really good. I use this as a jumping off point for my reading of the film and having a discussion about the ontology of love in Richard Curtis’s world compared with mine. I also yell and make snide and funny remarks about this bloody awful film. Enjoy! Here's that blog about Consensual Christmas https://www.bishuk.com/relationships/consensual-festivities/

Ask Justin: I'd love to hear your thoughts on 'Limerance' Dec 18, 2025

Show notes

Hi everyone I got a request to talk about 'limerance' from a listener who was also kind enough to share their experiences of attraction and connection. Whilst I'm not a fan of 'Limerance' I am a fan of feeling strong connections and 'love' in our lives: what if we could experience this intensity for all of relationships, our selves, our assemblages? What else would that do? How might we do it? Hope you find it helpful! Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned. Justin

Cultural Artefact 1 - The girlies need to talk about Lily Allen (apparently) Nov 24, 2025

Show notes

[uploading again with a different name for the track] In this episode Dr Eleanor Janega joins me to talk about Lily Allen’s West End Girl. We talk about the themes, and resulting discourses, emerging from this cultural artefact. Is it an album about an open relationship gone wrong, or is it something else instead? What is everyone getting wrong in their discussions about the album? Does it in fact bang? Here is the house https://www.architecturaldigest.com/video/watch/open-door-inside-david-harbour-and-lily-allens-brooklyn-town-house Here is the flat (Pussy Palace) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS3njIz_Qzs Here is a red carpet interview Eleanor wants you to see https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/awkward-footage-of-lily-allen-and-david-harbour-resurfaces/video/8b9f51e95b7ffa679d226ba960409a91 Listen to our Listenalong at the Patreon feed for the podcast patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show (and buy the zine I mentioned) Email me with your questions at culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form

Ask Justin: hope, confidence and possibility after a break up Nov 08, 2025

Show notes

This week’s Ask Justin is about how to find hope, confidence and possibility in the future after a break up. Lots of advice here about break ups and moving forward reflecting on my own experiences, how we make use of feelings, critiquing the should stories, and of course the practical and experimental philosophies of Delueze and Guattari - this week ‘How do you make yourself a Body Without Organs?’ Here’s a recent podcast from the Machinic Unconscious Happy Hour about the BwO https://soundcloud.com/podcast-co-coopercherry/deleuze-and-guattari-how-do-you-make-yourself-a-body-without-organs Here's an online copy of A Thousand Plateaus by Deleuze and Guattari https://files.libcom.org/files/A%20Thousand%20Plateaus.pdf (BwO starts on p149) This is Abolish The Family by Sophie Lewis https://www.versobooks.com/en-gb/products/2890-abolish-the-family?srsltid=AfmBOoqfP9U54Prh3ZqOwjJULgbnHG0ykElanIQQsqROQPWagCtNVHQt Here’s that ACFM about Alexandra Kollontai https://novaramedia.com/2025/04/27/acfm-microdose-alexandra-kollontai-make-way-for-winged-eros/ And here’s the podcast from me about Wittgenstein and Solution Focused Practice https://soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships/wittgenstein-solutions-not-problems Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned.

Ask Justin: Opening Back Up to Sub Bottom Dynamic Oct 31, 2025

Show notes

An Ask Justin episode (yay) where I answer a question about how to open oneself up to getting back to a sub / bottom dynamic after a break from a big sexual trauma. Here's that interview with Cory I did about Curative Kink https://soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships/cory-cascalheira-curative-kink If you have a question for the show ... justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned.

Second Opinion 5: Talking about my relationship without needing pot Oct 21, 2025

Show notes

This week we look at a Dan Savage column. The reader is bored with the sex, but also gets shamed from his wife for wearing a ‘gay’ T-shirt. Dan’s advice has some helpful ideas and affirmations (despite it being a short Q&A). How does the politics of the advisor affect the advice? What is the reader / advisor relationship? Then I offer my own extra advice. Are there other little microfascisms going on? How to talk about issues. How dis/inhibition is a problem and evokes Irving Yalom’s ooze. What does thinking about affects, rather than causes and effects, do? It’s a long one I’m afraid! Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned. Article of mine on how to make sex and relationships chats easier https://www.bishuk.com/relationships/how-to-make-sex-and-relationships-chats-easier/ This is a pretty nice article featuring that ‘ooze’ I was telling you about https://www.newstatesman.com/ideas/2025/04/irvin-yalom-confessions Here’s more about that particular book, thank you Kayleigh for lending me your copy. I never gave it back to you but I put it to good use. https://www.yalom.com/momma-the-meaning-of-life Here’s that article I referred to from Petra Boynton https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(15)00009-7/abstract Petra’s website No Star To Guide Me is a great starting point if you want to learn to give good advice https://nostartoguideme.com/ Here’s that podcast I did with Jacob Johannsen https://soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships/jacob-johannsen-fantasy-online-misogyny-and-the-manosphere

Second Opinion 3: Will this heartbreak ever end? Sep 26, 2025

Show notes

Second opinion 3: Esther Calling: Will This Heartbreak Ever End? At a listener’s request this episode of Second Opinion features Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin podcast, in particular one of her ‘Esther Calling’ episodes, where she speaks with someone about their problem. In this case we can say that is exactly what she’s doing, although there are glimmers of good stuff, it’s mostly not good I don’t think. Anyway, endure / enjoy my long and rambly Second Opinion about Esther Calling: Will This Heartbreak Ever End. Email me culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com justinhancock.co.uk/coaching if you want a session https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel to find the google form patreon.com/culturesexrelationships where you can sign up to support the show and also buy the zines I mentioned.

Fetishising Things Labels and Our Selves Sep 06, 2025

Show notes

I started off doing a reading from my latest article at BISH about the difference between a kink and a fetish. You can read that here https://www.bishuk.com/your-questions/whats-the-difference-between-a-kink-and-a-fetish/ Then I went off on one talking about how an ethical fetishist (which many of us probably are) is probably doing something more consensual than most of the other kinds of fetishisations we may take part in in our daily lives. Commodities, labels, and ourselves. All of which might amount to us being little capitalists, micro-fascisms. Jeremy Gilbert wrote a piece about his book here https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/common-ground/ Here's that paper on infantilisation and becoming-child https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00131857.2022.2128759#d1e417 Here's my stream with Sinan https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2554705347

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