Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Latest Episodes:

I 10 Ramblings to New Mexico Aug 02, 2025

Show notes

Disjointed Rants about New Mexico's Sacramento Mountains, Mormons, the origins of Ivermectin, Rat-Trap Pitcher plants and Nepenthes hybrids, and more.
All episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available ad-free on the crime pays patreon at :
https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
For merch, bonfire store is at :
https://www.bonfire.com/store/crime-pays-but-botany-doesnt/

Neotropical Oak Forests & Bush-Checking Becky Jul 25, 2025

Show notes

In this episode we rant about Neotropical High-elevation Oak forests of Central America, what the hell introgression is (swapping genes between two species through hybridization and back-crossing to potentially create a new species, though sometimes it just introduces adaptive traits into existing species), the checking of a racist Becky into a bush by a fed-up member of the populace, the neotropical parasitic plant Corynaea crass and how its monoecious and what that means, cloud forests extravaganzas with Solandra brachycalyx (Solanaceae), and more.
To listen without any annoying ads (and IHEARTRADIO -our podcast hosting service - really lays the annoying ads on thick), check out the crimepays patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt. To order stickers of CPBBD artwork visit : https://www.crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt.com/storestickersprints

Sashaying Around West Texas Sky Islands Jul 05, 2025

Show notes

Rants about Davis Mountains fungi, Ponderosa Pine Death from drought, torrential Texas rains, West Texas alcoholics, Mandevilla hypoleuca, Echeveria strictiflora, Growing Madrones, American Smoke Trees in Austin, Madrones in San Antonio, Dystopia and more....

Four Corners Botany Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

Rants about Northern New Mexico, Gypsum endemics, Dwarf Milkweed, the Horseshoe Bend Motel Photo, Botany of Horseshoe Bend, Pediocactus in the high desert of Northern Arizona, Why telling people that eating Saguaro fruits isn't as bad as Caucasian liberals might want you to think is, How anthropocentric uses of plants might hook some people into the larger perspective of botany and ecology and reverence for the living world, and more.
Episodes of the podcast are available for listening, ad-free, on the crime pays Patreon.

Carlsbad Butt Clinic & Sandhills Plant Life Jun 01, 2025

Show notes

Rants about colonoscopies, plant life on the sandhills East of Carlsbad New Mexico, Eurytaenia hinckleyi (Apiaceae ), Pomaria jamesii (Fabaceae), the Sierra Madre and more
Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon for $5 a month at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Hollistic Healing Colon Cleanse in Gypsum Habitats May 29, 2025

Show notes

Rants about permaculture, holistic livestock snake oil, Southern New Mexico gypsum flats, the Guadalupe Mountains, the Schizandra population in Atlanta that's being overtaken by english ivy, the Alex Jones with boobs meme, naked old men at Nevada hot springs, and more.
All episodes of this podcast are available for $5 a month ad-free on the crime pays patreon stop whining about the ads you jadrool bastard.

A Clusterf*ck of Mustards - The Order Brassicales May 21, 2025

Show notes

Ad-Free versions of this podcast are available for $5 a month on the Crime Pays Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
In this episode we talk with Makenzie Mabry, PhD, about the order Brassicales and all the cool and bizarre plants and plant families within it. We talk about the trend of polyploidy, whole genome duplication, the affinity for deserts and arid habitats, the evolution of succulents and the particular phytochemistry known as glucosinolates.
We start off talking about the octopus plant that was recently discovered in 2020 in the salt pan deserts of Namibia, Tiganophyton karasense, and go through the entire phylogeny of the order, talking about little known families from disparate parts of the globe and why so many families only contain one species.

Atlanta, Granitic Knobs, Limestone Glades, Native Habitat Project, Etc. May 09, 2025

Show notes

In this episode we talk about the granite/gneiss knobs that surround the Atlanta, Georgia area and the cool plants that grow there, getting unintentionally shot at by morons at Arabia mountain, exploring limestone glades of Alabama with Kyle Lybarger, how much puke would it take to reach the confederate statue on the side of Stone Mountain if one were puking down from above, how important fire is to East Coast and Southeast ecosystems (especially for suppressing tick populations) and a ton more.
If you're annoyed by the ads, stop complaining and sign up for the Crime Pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Plants mentioned in this podcast:
Schoenolirion croceum
Cotinus obovatus
Packera dubia
Polymnia laevigata
Diamorpha smallii
Tradescantia hirsuticaulis
Ribes curvatum
Chionanthus virginicum
Kalmia latifolia
Neviusia alabamensis

Easter Brunch With Father Santore Livestream Apr 20, 2025

Show notes

A 2 hour, unhinged livestream rant about ecological succession in lawn slaughter, book reviews, the deranged texas anti-plant bill (SB 1868), and more, all done while wearing a priest outfit.

Costa Rica Habitat Synopsis Rants Apr 11, 2025

Show notes

Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Patreon at: www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
In this episode of the podcast we rant about a myriad of topics and also discuss 4 main habitat types of Costa Rica :
Lowland dry forest, where you can get pissed on by spider monkeys and capuchins while photographing columnar cacti growing on karstic limestone dominated by Bursera simaruba. We also talk about the dry forest oak Quercus oleoides which tolerates a 6 month long dry season and doesn't even receive that much rain during the wet season since it tends to grow on thin-soiled limestone.
Montane Wet Forest dominated by oaks like Quercus insignis, which produces acorns the size of baseballs and grows with epiphytic orchids and bat pollinated Bromeliads.
Cloud Forest dominated by ectomycorrhizal trees such Quercus costricensis and Comarostaphylis arbutoides (Ericaceae), a kind of habitat which also contains tropical variations of plant genera that are generally more associated with temperate latitudes.
Páramo habitat, where it's summer every day and winter every night due to the thin air at high elevations above 10,000' (3300 m) and plants produce layerings of hairs not to protect against drought but to protect against frost and increased Ultraviolet intensity.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn’t

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected